Phil and Red's Excellent Adventure

Ok, after 3 hours of sleep, I got up at 415AM today to prepare for the taxi fella. Yumi was able to move her classes around to allow her to come to the airport and see me off. So sweet. I took all the stuff down and it was a little interesting loading up the taxi. The guitar box was sticking out the back of the trunk, but it was in there snug so it wasn't falling out. However, i was paranoid all the way to the airport and always checking it. Lets just hope we dont get re-ended. Like my trip one month ago to the airport on my way to Shaolin, the taxi driver that picked us up took us to another residence where we got the usual driver. Change in shift maybe. So we headed to the airport.
The past few months the roads between Xiaolan and Guangdong have been under major re-construction. One half of the trip was spent on torn up roads and trying to drive on the shoulder to pass a convoy of 5 big hauler trucks. One other thing about chinese road construction...there are no warning or direction signs at all for dangerous or broken up areas. People just use their eyes to see the damage or the repairing areas which is not a good idea at all at 530Am because you can't see the highway at all. Headlights on these cars don't seem very powerful. Because of the lack of signs, the taxi driver was going like 120km/h ~70m/h when he hit what felt like train tracks.
There was a massive chunk taken out of the road. I swear, I think we caught air. Sure felt like it. It was like we were dropping down into a pit or something. The car lurched and i heard the trunk slam down into my box and i was worried about my things and very irriated with the driver and chinese construction practices. How hard is it too put up a sign that reads, MISSING ROAD - TAKE CARE. We hit about 3 other of those missing road areas afterwards.
We got to the airport safely, thankfully.
I loaded all my crap up and got down and filled out some forms n junk. And I thought I would have some time with Yumi to sit around and just relax but the line up for going thru to the International area was getting really friggin' huge and time was runnning out so we said our emotional goodbye's for now and i went thru the gate. I almost forgot to give her my cellfone as well. I didnt want to leave. I headed on thru to the check in.
Now, I was at the airport rougly 2-1.5 hours ahead of take off which is more than recommended and I was still the last person to check in. And it took the longest to check in ever. Why do you ask? Because, there were 40 American families that were taking this plane from Guangzhou to Tokyo who had just spent the last 2 weeks in China buying their brand new baby. There were 40 adopted babies, 6 to 12 month babies, on my flight from Guangzhou to Tokyo. Can you imagine 40 crying babies on a tightly pack airplane? The crying? The pooping? The smell?
It really wasn't that bad at all. My headfones drowned out most of the baby crying.
But back to check in. So I checked in and my one hardshell suitcase was overweight. The limit was 32kg, mine was 40kg. And that was after I emptied and rearranged it to lower the weight. Yikes. Then I took my oversized guitar box and the price was only 130US. THANK GOD! i was so worried with that Terry dude from NWA luggage claiming that box would be 390US. I still had to pay the 260 though because of the overweight suitcase. Man, it is always something. I got too much junk!
So I rushed to the passport checkpoint. It was getting closer to the time that we were too leave. I was standing in line and the line was half NWA flight people, we all had these little NWA stickers on. There was a chinese guy that was walking aroudn with a clipboard and he asked, in good english, "Are you on the flight to Tokyo with the babies?" I said, "Apparently so." And then he said, "Why are you so late?" In a confrontational tone to me. This got to me and I responded, "Its not my fault your government has made things so bad for its people that 10,000 American families come to china to adopt your children every year because this country sux so bad for its people and these american families just happen to be on my flight and take up all the time at the check in counter......" I didnt actually say that. I said something like, it aint' my fault NWA and the families took so long with check in. I was here earlier than recommended." He was then like, "Maybe next time you should come earlier." And I said, "Next time you should shut your hole." I then said something to him in Chinese and he got scowled at me then he made me go up higher in the line with the rest of the NWA folks.
I figured the plane wouldn't leave without a quarter of its passengers.
I was wearing one of my Shaolin t-shirts and so this made the X-ray guys and the flight attendents all wet. They were like, "Aaaaah, you know Shaolin gong fu?" "Yes, I stayed there for a month".. "Oooooooh, wow, so you know shaolin gong fu! Wow...."
I headed to my seat. In my area, there was no more room and any of the overhead cupboards for carry ons. It was all filled up with bags and babies.
I sat in my seat and put my junk underneath the seats making it a bit more cramped, but it wasn't too bad.
Ok, so these are the folks on the airplane. There were 40 brand new adopted chinese babies, mostly girls. Why girls? I dont know, since the country needs more women, but...its china. Go figure. Along with the babies, they were accompanied by their new, gigantic and morbidly obese, American parents with no knowledge of chinese culture. There were only two families who looked healthy. When I saw this, i shuddered. The other major group on the plane was the Guangzhou Cantonese Chinese Opera troop that was headed for L.A.
So, I sat down next to a couple who had a little 10 month old named Quiun with the English name of Megan. She was really adorable. Very cute and she only cried when her dad held her because she wanted to be held by mommy. She was very playful and she seemed to like me. I got to hold her at one point and I made her do some gong fu. The parents loved it and the kid was smiling, breathing heavily, and drooling which is laughter to their kind. She was also quite ticklish and she liked to chew on her toes. I wish I had that flexibility.
The two I was sitting next to told me of many funny stories that they dealt with. But they mentioned that the group they were with had 22 families, and there were two groups on the plane, thats why 40 kids. But he said that they had some major pieces of work in their group. Like this really large woman who was like, "I hate chinese food, I hate china, I can't stand any part of this culture, blah blah blah blah". Apparently she was quite rude to the director and all the resturants they went too. She would always try western food. And she just pissed off a bunch of folks. And I can just see her, in my head, complaining and shaking her head while her gowls shook back and forth. Yuck. You know that's one baby that is gonna grow up not knowing about where she came from.
Since these are the most Americans i have seen in one place, i really noticed the overweightness and obeseness. I was like, "what are these giant mounds of disgusting flesh and why are you soooo big?!" It just struck me hard. Mostly because I spent a whole year surrounded by skinny ass chinese people. It just opens your eyes right up. Yeah, there were some fat chinese folks but they more or less consisted of beer/pudgy bellies, there was no pear or apple shaped folks. And everyone in china that I saw had necks, ankles, wrists, and chins.
So the flight was good. Thought of Yumi alot. Read a Batman comic on my computer, played with Megan, and talked to her parents.
Surprisingly for leaving a little late, we were able to arrive in Tokyo a little earlier than expected. The winds help us or something, or the rotation of the earth, i dunno. We got to Tokyo and immediately, just from the landing strips, i could tell that this country was much cleaner. The Narita airport was quite nice.
I was able to speak Japanese with some people. I just wanted the practice. I found myself speaking in Chinese as well. I was like, "Xie xie....i mean, arigatogozaimas." All the time. ugh. Hope I didnt offend anyone that might want to chop my head off with a katana.
I hung around until we boarded the next plane. It was a 747 and i was in the middle row. There were 4 seats and only 3 people sat in them, so we had a little bit of extra room. I spoke a little japanese to the people that sat next to me. Then we were off for the 11 hour fligtht. Now it wasn't too bad. The food was good and I was actually able to sleep a little bit considering there were babies everywhere. I didnt really watch the movies that they played. I also played computer a bit before the battery died.
We finally reached the US. i was getting excited.
We touched down in Detroit around 115pm.
We unloaded and I headed to the passport checkpoint and they only had about 4 checkpoints open for the hundreds of people that just arrived on two differnt planes. And they were being very anal on the checking of everything. So it took awhile. I went and grabbed my luggage and went to customs.
I walked up to the guy and he did what I expected, he wanted me to go and have my stuff checked out. So i was like, no problem. He didnt sound to happy or pleasant either. Trying to be a hardass. He signed my paper and told me to go thru the glass doors. Then as I came to the glass doors to go thru, an attendant was all with her hand on her hip and giving me the snake head, "Sir, where you goin?" Um...thru the glass doors like the customs dude, said. "No, I mean, where are you going?" Um...the glass doors....i mean, I am going home. "The exit is that way, sir."
Um...ok, if you dont want me to go thru customs, thats fine with me!
So I left. Ha ha! Awesome.
I met up with my folks and I exchanged some money. After that we headed out of the airport and drove down to go get some Calder's Ice Cream, the best ice cream ever. Better than Ben and Jerry's and better than Stucchi's. After that we headed home. I stopped by a music store and picked up some guitar strings. Then we finally headed home.
Man, it was feeling odd. Nothing really has changed at all. Everything and everybody is the same as when I left. It makes it feel as though this past year in China was almost like a dream or that me at home is a dream. Its strange. Maybe that's the jetlag.
I started a little bit of unpacking at the house. My brother showed up around 430 and we all chatted. Then we had some of the best pizza. OH MAN! IT WAS SOOOOOO GOOD! This is the stuff that I have missed! Yummy yummy yummy! I stuffed myself as well because my dad also cooked up some Medium rare steak…..yummy.
After that I set up my computer and sent out emails. Around 930pm, I crashed out and fell asleep. Goodnite.it was super long.

Posted by Phil at 03:46 AM | Permalink

I got up early and took care of some business in the early hours and then I head to the banking outposts that contain Western Union service desks. I needed to get some cash that my folks sent me just in case of emergencies. I took it out in 3 100 US bills. I was never so happy to see Ben Franklin, I wanted to kiss him.
The process to get the cash should have just taken about 10-15 minutes, but instead it took about 1 hour because the chinese were holding the cash on a technicallity. I had all the info there just in the wrong order. So, it was very frusrating. I wanted to grab the guy and go, "Listen, the money is there! I have all the information! WTF!" Finally, after making a call a couple times, they were allowed to give me hints at to what goes where. F-ing A. I mean ugh!
Ok, so i get the cash and go on my way.
Then I find out its a possibility that the price I thought was for the extra bag was going to be double. Jeez. So, i was looking at my money and trying to decide what to do.
i got it figured out now.
I was frustrated again leaving the bank, so i went to 1+1 and got some stuff for the apartment.
I came back and did some more straightening up and getting things ready and trying to relax.
This sofa that came with the apt sux. Forces me to hunch over and my lower back is sore.
I did various things. Went to the shop again to look for something. Couldn't find a tire pump for my bike. I wanted to give it to the Lion Dance boys, but the tire is flat. None of the airpumps had bike knobs. And there are no bike shops near here.
Oh well.
Yumi came home at lunch and cooked remaing food. Very yummy.
Yumi came home at dinner time and made a fantastic dinner. It was very wonderful. She is very talented.
So afterwards, I had to go to my last gongfu practice. It was ok. I worked hard and learned the last part of the 3 Star Fist form (San Xing Quan) (Sam Sing Kuen).
However, it was my last night and I figured Sifu would do something, antying to mark the occasion, but it just passed like a regular night. I was quite surprised. I figured a speech at least, but i don't really care. I was just surprised thats all.
Well, goodnite....

Posted by Phil at 12:19 AM | Permalink

Quite bitter sweet. I had a wonderful day with fantastic friends that I met and spent the most of the day with then on the way back to the apartment with Yumi, I get my wallet stolen in the time from getting off one bus and then getting onto another one.
It was so quick. And I didn't realize it until after the guy had made off. I have to give the guy some credit, he had amazing skill. My wallet was in my right front pocket under my shoulder bag. He was able to get inbetween that without my noticing anything and I am paranoid, i am always being careful about my wallet and junk.
I wasn't too worried about it though, it was 30RMB. Only problem was my credit card was in there along with my driver's license. So, i got online right when I got back. Talked to my dad and he was able to cancel my card quicker than I would have been able to over the internet. Along with ordering me a new one. Then we spent the rest of the night figuring out how to send me some extra cash via Western Union in case of any emergencies or if anything arises at the airport with my extra oversized box that I am taking home. (I have 3 pieces of luggage to check. The oversized piece is just over regulations on LxWxH.) I figured checking it on the plane is cheaper than trying to use FedEx or UPS, which it is.
Anywho, back to my day. Got up quite early because Coco wanted to meet for breakfast early. Yumi and i were still grogery from the night before. Got home around 3-330AM. So we were really tired. We had a wonderful dim sum breakfast with Coco and her daughter Michelle. she was going back to her school today and had to shop for things, thats why we did it so early. I said my goodbyes and told them I would stay in touch.
After lunch we went back to the apt and took a nap and I did some things while Yumi slept longer. Then we got ready for going out to Shiqi for dinner with Mayu, Yuji, Mountain, and Snow at the Korean resturant.
The bus station was uber-crowded. The most poeple I have ever seen there. All the kids were catching the last buses to shiqi and to their schools. We ended up getting a taxi with another school girl because all the buses were sold out for the rest of the day. Yikes.
We got to Shiqi and caught another bus to a street that we could walk down to get to the resturant. We window shopped and goofed around a bit because we had some time. All the while, John was text messaging me about stuff.
We met with Mayu and Yuji about 6pm and headed to the resturant. They gave me a bouquet of flowers. Aaaawwww. We took pictures and chatted. Then Mt and Snow showed up about 30 mintues later.
We had an absolutely wonderful Korean BBQ dinner and the salad was terrific as well. So good.
We were there for like 2.5 hours. It was great. Mt gave me one of those little gong fu monk kid statues. This one has the guy doing a Monkey Fist stance. Cute. So cute.
We said our goodbyes and we would keep in touch.
Then Yumi and I caught the #1 bus to the Flower Hotel where we picked up the #38 to Xiaolan.
Somewhere between standing up on the #1 bus at the busstop and finally getting on the #38 and leaving, is when my wallet got stolen. Sneaky bastard.
Yumi said, "It's China." Yes it is. China, the bittersweet bastard. ;-D
The whole day served as a metaphor for my personal experience in China. And I am thankful that it reminded me just how much of a breeding ground this place is for theives.
Dont get me wrong, wonderful people are here too. Its a great place at times. It just seems there is more of a sense of people wanting to steal yo' stereo. Its like, everyone has the potential to be a theif here. Where at home and other places I have been, i dont get that sense.
(of course this can happen in other countries and it does, but its never happened to me in other countrires so there. ;-))
So, things stolen from me in china: 1 bike, 1 cellfone, 1 wallet, my innocence, and my good graces.
Things gained: Many wonderful friends, gong fu, unique experience, the ancient culture, history, hatred of chinese in business, The 1-Child Policy, and greater understanding of the world.

you know, with the way the day was, i didnt realize that it was the 4 year anniversary of the Sept 11th Terror attacks. Wow. The world is less safe, thanks to some jackasses in power - and its not just the obvious either. ;-)

Posted by Phil at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This morning was fine. A well deserved sleep in. The lunch time was spent getting food and shopping and walking around the city. We just spent time doing nothing and I didnt some packing and junk. John told us he was coming into Xiaolan to meet up for dinner and such. Yumi cooked some food and took a nap before he showed up. Sorta relaxed today.
I shaved again. Its tough, but my neck where it is usually rubbed raw by the electric razor isn't rubbed raw with the razor. Thats good news I guess.
John showed up and then got a haircut and came back while we headed out to above CRC for dinner with a group of folks. Met some new couples and we talked about just stuff. Explaining how to discipline the bad students and Toby and James.
Then after CRC, we headed to the beer gardens while we played studid games and had fun. Antoine showed up and then we headed to a bar where a really horrible chinese band was playing.
Nuts. Loud. Too much vodka. Too much crappy music.
There are times when I just can't wait to get out of this country.
Then I look at Yumi and I dont want to leave.
AIYA!
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 05:25 PM | Permalink

Got up early to put last things together again. As i was heading to customs, Yumi called me saying Coco wants to meet for lunch. So we met up down the street. i had my stuff with me. Since I have come back from Shaolin, I have started to snap back, in chinese, at the chinese when they all crowd around looking at me. That gets them to go away pretty quickly. "What are you looking at? or Stop staring!"
Went to China post after lunch to ship out my swords because I got word from US Customs its ok. Duh, of course it is.
I got to the Post Office and it was hell. Obviously, nothing that we went thru yesterday stuck with them at all. They were all like, "We can't send it." and I was like, "Yes you can." and then they would just stare at the package for a few minutes and then walk away and do something else and say, "msec gong ying mann". I was speaking in Chinese as best as I could with them.
I would occasionally get there attention by rattling my box to be like, dude, "My package". So, they finally got the bright idea for me to write down what I wanted to say. Expecting that I could write in Chinese because I barely know the language, so I must be able to write...
So I wrote: "Why the hell aren't you doing your job? Ship my damn package, Mailbox Head!"
He looked at it for a few moments, then nodded like he understood and went back to other jobs. ARGGH!!!!
Finally they got that guy back on the fone from last night. After an hour, btw. He said, "yes, they can't mail the package because they don't know about US customs...." I busted in, "US Customs is ok to take the package. I told them that 5 times but they aren't listening." So he talked to them and they shipped it out it within 5 minutes. ASSHOLES! INCOMPETENT ASSHOLES!!!
I went back home and did junk for the rest of the day because I was irritated so. I was not a happy camper. I ran some errands.
Tonight wasnt fun either.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 05:35 PM | Permalink

The highlight of my day was with China Post.
I went there with my lion heads and packed them up there. In addition i tried to ship out my two swords. That caused them some trouble. They kept saying they couldn't ship it, but never gave me a reason. I just kept telling them they could. That went on for awhile. I was there for a total of about 1.5-2 hours. After awhile, a guy who could speak a little english came over to me, and to cover up their lack of knowledge and incompetence, they explained that they couldn't ship it because they didn't know if US Customs would clear it. I was like, its a country filled with guns, you don't think they will allow fake swords thru customs? Use your head. They went back to call customs, but no answer., but I am sure he just sat back there doing nothing like they all the people with power in this country do.
So, he said if I could get the ok with customs, it will be ok to ship. So, you know, me, still thinking in common sense, thought that after me saying that I will be back tomorrow, he would tell the underlings there, that are working that I may be back tomorrow to try and ship out the package. Nope. (see tomorrows entry)
The rest of the day was trying to calm down from China post and doing errands and stuff.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 05:44 PM | Permalink

Today was a wonderful but long day. In the morning, I planned to do more packing up operations and ship things out, but that didnt happen as I was talking to some friends and family online. Then Yumi came home for lunch so we cooked some good food.
I realized after hours of searching for my electric razor power cord, that I prolly threw it out into the trash by accident. So, i used what remaining power I had and only got half my face shaved. Poop. So I went out and bought myself a razor and some shaving cream to finish the job. I must tell you now, believe it or not, but I have never shaved like this before in my life. I have always had an electric razor. So, it was a new experience. I dont know if I will go back to electric. Who knows.
After that, i did some more stuff around here and then headed out to the practice studio at 4pm like Guo Sifu said.
Once I got there, we left about 10 minutes later. Alot sooner than I thought. I thought he said we would leave at 5pm. This is gonna cause some trouble because Yumi wants to come to the performance tonite. I messaged her because she was in class and told her what has happened. She apparently called Guo Sifu to ask about coming by herself and Guo Sifu told her it was very far away from Xiaolan and very hard to get too. Bummer.
It took us about 1.5 hours to get there or so. We stopped off in Ban Fu city proper to wait for more directions from our hosts. We then took a convoy there. It was in one of the poorest neighborhoods I have ever seen in China. It was very dirty, cramped, and just poor. I was amazed. There were old men and women bathing in the brown colored river going thru the town. Icky. In addition to that, the old men and women also looked like living mummies...without the wrappings. I mean, i had seen older chinese folk like this before, but not so many in one place.
Once we unloaded the truck and got things set up, we headed to get some dinner. I noticed that there were many dogs running around the area. I sure hope we arent having dog tonite. The food was quite good. One of the truck drivers wanted his picture taken with me and he was very protective of me as well throughout the night. He was just watching out for me I guess. He was a cool guy though. Spoke to me as best he could with the language barrier.
As we headed back to the performance area, which was the blacktop area of a primary school, Shou Wei Xiao Xue, it had gotten dark and they just started the small firework show. Then as I was warming up and changing, they started the big fireworks show. They were launching the big fireworks off the top of the school. It was very impressive. Really cool. They sure know how to celebrate a gweilos last performance. ;-)
The fireworks were exploding so low that the ash was falling down on everyone. And only the last one, in which the ash burns and glitters gold on its way down, did it pose a fire hazard. Some of the audience had to dodge burning ash. Also, it was quite hot tonite so we were all sweating while smacking at mosquitos.
Then the performance started and it was a fantastic show. Basically the same thing as before, but it was much more fun. In addition to the Yongning Long Shi group, there were the Yongning Xanda group of about 6 kids and then four 14 year old wushu kids from BanFu strutting their stuff. They were good.
During the inbetween stuff, i was off practicing my forms in the back and behind everyone. I was getting some onlookers paying more attention to me than to the show. Oh well.
I did four things. Hong Quan #2, #3, YinYang Gun, and Xing Bian/Fei Tau. My performances were ok, enjoyable, not marred by mistakes thankfully. I was more playful in these performances as well. At one point near the end of HQ#3 i bungled on it and just started running around in circles. It was quite funny. The audience loved it. Also, during #2, I got really close to the audience and that got some laughs. Also, the performances by the other guys in the dragon and lion dances were very good. They were on their marks and I didnt really notice any mistakes. They added some new things to the show as well. A guy stands at the top of a 20 foot pole with a lion and does his thing up there. The pedestal show has been extended, more pedestals this time and more complicated. It was a very good show.
Then we packed everything up and headed out around 11pm. I didnt get back here until 1230am and then I couldnt fall asleep and boy was i tired. I just couldn't sleep.

Posted by Phil at 03:11 PM | Permalink

Spent alot of today practicing a bit of Japanese. I was trying to learn the phrases for "I want to eat/drink something." as well as its negative. And boy, its different for each phrase. I got totally confused.
While practicing, i was also uploading video to start editing. I went to the super market looking for a glove of some sort to protect my fingers when i use the meteor hammer. I get rope burn on my index finger if I dont have some sort of protection and then a blister forms. I couldn't find any gloves, driving, gardening, or warming gloves at all. What a pitty. I found a bunch of pink rubber cleaning gloves, but that wont do me any good.
Yumi came home and we chilled for a bit then grabbed some dinner at that Jack and the Maggot Pea cafe. It was alright. Then I went off to practice. I practiced hard and I tired myself out quick while practicing the meteor hammer, YinYang Gun, and Hong Quan 2 for the performance tomorrow. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, the Meteor Hammer has no set form for it so I have to string the movements however I like. I proceeded to hit myself a bunch of times with the meteor hammer. I got myself a couple times in the foot, once on the outside of my right leg just below the knee, and the worst one was a smack in the ear. The one that gave me the ear smack is from a movement that I just can't seem to control the very last part of it. So, I decided I am gonna take that move out of the form for right now until I can control it. Only sad thing is its one of the coolest looking bits.
Now, whenever someone makes a mistake and if it involves pain, the chinese laugh at it and in turn laugh at you. We do some of the same thing in the US, but I mean, not during a practice situation like that, you dont laugh, you usually offer any assitance and just make sure things are ok. Now I can understand other chinese students giggling about it and talking/whispering to each other about it, but when you see your teacher doing the same thing with some of his older students, its really disheartening and ugly. You especially don't think the teacher would laugh and make fun like that. I think at least. So i left practice a bit upset. Oh well, i guess its just Chinese culture.
Punks.

Posted by Phil at 11:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Practiced Japanese. Uploaded video. Went to the gym. I went to pick up my 1GB memory card and John told me that his supplier didn't have any more of that model and size. He said he would get his supplier to get another one from another supplier or he will give me my money back. I kinda hope I get my money back becausee I could use it when I get back to the US, but if he gets a card too me, then that would be nice too I guess. I just hope it works.
I also started working on my BOND LANGUAGE INSTITUTE review. Its gonna be a long one. I am trying to get all the information I can and get former teachers to remind me of some points to hit upon. Like there is this new girl working here that is a little heavy, and because she does not have the look that BOND wants, they are trying to cut her salary and figure a way to get rid of her. Poor girl. Stupid Bond. Do they really think that no one is gonna report on this stuff? Jeez.
Went to Gong Fu practice. Yumi came along, she wanted to see what it was like. I think she got bored. There isn't much too do if you arent practicing. She talked with Sifu for a bit. My meteor hammer ball kept seperating from the rope. Crappy chinese hunks of crap. So after the 5th time, we finally secured it with some extra wire and tied it up. It aint coming off now unless it rolls off the screw.
Practice was over and Yumi and I got some ice cream from McDonald's.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:56 AM | Permalink

Yumi and I headed out to Guangzhou to visit John today. We left around 9AM and got to the city big bus station around 11am. Today was pouring rain. Big time. It was just coming down hard. On my taxi bike to the bus station, the guy's rain poncho was too small so i got wet all over my shorts n such. So, the whole bus ride there I was in wet shorts. Luckily they were able to dry out quickly.
They were playing some strange comedy/scary movie on the TV. Its about these ghosts that plague Hong Kong taxi drivers on the night shifts. It was kinda funny.
There are so many bus stations in Guangzhou it took us forever to figure out with John which bus station we were at. We ended up going to the one he was planning to go to to pick up his friend Irene at 12pm.
So basically, we had to kill 1 hour waiting for Irene, Dan's girlfriend. And once we did, we wasted more time while she was trying to get her luggage checked and finding the train terminal for her leaving at 350pm.
After that was settled we headed out to John's new apartment where he lived with a Swedish guy named Artoo. We hung out for a bit then went to see what Zhongshan University looks like. It still amazes me at how much the communists hold him up on a pedestal when he was the creator of the KMT and stood for everything that they are against. I guess that since the people like him, then the communists must make him look good to make themselves look good.
After that we had to take the subway back to the train station to see Irene off. Once we saw her off, we called up Ben and we headed out to the Garden City Hotel area (very nice area of Guangzhou) to shop and look at junk and then meet for Brazillian BBQ.
We got to the area and while waiting for Ben we went into the expensive mall where they had shops of all the very expensive fashion designers. They had some neat stuff, but it was all overpriced junk pretty much.
After that we met up with Ben and then headed to the BBQ place.
We were the first ones there. They said the meet wouldn't be done for another 20 minutes or so. Oh well. It was all you could eat and it was good. The buffet with salads and junk was good. Meat arrived and it was really good.
After dinner, Yumi and I headed back to the bus station and caught the 7pm back to Xiaolan. My feet were hella dirty from the rain and Guangzhou streets.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:40 AM | Permalink

Most of saturday was us just walking around and spending time in Xiaolan. Nothing really specail. Running errands and walking around the park and what not. In the morning we met up with Coco and Robert for Dim Sum at the Flower Hotel. We spent about 2 hours there. It was very nice.
After that we went to buy tickets for Guangzhou tomorrow morning. After that the park.
After that we went shopping.
For dinner we got some pizza and relaxed. Watched Roman Holiday. Never seen that before, believe it or not. It seems like that in the 50s, people used to hug each other violently. And Gregory Peck couldn't act at all.
Well, that was mostly it.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:12 PM | Permalink

Well not really relaxing. most of today while Yumi was at class I used for the gym and then to repack all my clothes and suitcases. That was tough and frustrating. I had to reorganize things and how I may ship my other packages home is gonna cause me trouble. I am thinking of packing up my two guitars and erhu in a big box and use that as a third piece of luggage since it would be cheaper than sending thru UPS or FedEx. I talked with the airlines via email and they gave me the specs and said there would be room, they have never had a problem with shipping an extra piece of luggage before like that. So, who knows. I am gonna have to make a big box, I need to take boxes and cut them up and tape them together. It will be interesting.
And repacking everything up made me start thinking more of leaving and that kinda got me down in the dumps a little. I mean, despite all the troubles I have had here, there have been much more wonderful things. Its hard to leave a life that you have created. Its tough.
That and I went to the gym. Worked a little bit on Zui Quan on a hardwood floor. yikes. Need to be careful. I was thinking I may want to try Zui Quan at the wushu performance, but I don't want to deal with the street and it doesnt look that good yet.
I will most likely do Ying Yang Gun, Meteor Hammer, and the Hong Quan that I learned here. However, I may also throw in Xing Yi Gun, I don't know yet. see how it goes at the show.
Yumi got back from work and we made plans to go get dinner. From there we took a night time paddle boat ride around the small lake at the Longshan Park feeding the ducks with some bread that we bought. After that we walked to the massage place and got a 1 hour foot massage then a 1 hour full body massage, which i didnt think was very good.
We then headed home.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:54 AM | Permalink

Hit up the gym for the first time in a month. Started lifting weights. I tried to use the audio equipment in the exercise area and one of the staff tried to tell me I could use it, but I played dumb and was able to keep my music playing. Sometimes playing dumb is a good thing.
other Stuff I did was pretty much not worth writing about.
Go figure.
Have a goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:16 PM | Permalink

View fotos now!
I just finished posting all my Shaolin Fotos worthy of internet posting. It took me a couple days to sort them out, stitch up some of them, enhance a few, and then upload them. I hope you enjoy them. They were great to take.
After I finished getting them ready and hit the button to upload, I went searching for information on my MEMORY CARD ERROR problems with my Canon Powershot Digital Elph S400 camera. I searched for this while in Shaolin while looking for a quick fix, but came up with just complaints. I learned harder this time and found many things.
Apparently, a guy running a site... Zone: Bargain Blog has information on an ongoing investigation and pending litigation against CANON and their problems with this camera model. Its based on the E18 error which is the zoom lens not working properly and Canon not giving any assistance whatsoever and the charge to have it fixed is about 2/3 the price of the actual camera. It alwasy seems to happen 1-6 months after the 1 year warranty has expired.
I have only encountered this problem once, while at the send off party for Yi Shin at the French Fry place. The website mentions the Memory Card Error issue, but there is no legal things goin on with that. There are just lots of complaints.
Thankfully I got the 2 year warranty at Best Buy, so i plan to use that when I get back to the US. Hopefully I can get it fixed before I go to Japan.
Anyway, after that ,I headed to the computer shops to see if I could get the CF card that I am having issues with reformated and fixed. Nope, it just kept crashing their computer or not reformating properly. So, after about 1 hour of them trying the same damn thing over and over again, they decided to send it back to Guangzhou and have it looked at then get me a new one. Since John wasn't there I had to use a mixture of Chinese and English. They spoke as much English as I spoke of Chinese so we were able to understand each other, but it took awhile.
I think the camera with its stupid error damaged the CF card. Great.
After that I hit up 1+1 for some drinks and stuff.
Then came back here. I headed to the gym around 430/500pm.

Posted by Phil at 04:27 PM | Permalink

Today was a wonderful day.
After Yumi left her apartment at 9AM, i kicked my ass in gear and went shopping for everything. I got everything I wanted to find except for a Picachu Towel, like the one I had but forgot at Shaolin. Well, Josh has a new towel. What did I end up getting her? A bunch of roses, some picture frames to go with the pictures of us together that I had printed up, and a really pretty necklace. I also wrapped up my old vacuum cleaner as a joke. She enjoyed that.
Then we got dressed up, me in a suit and her in a dress, basically, what we wore to Ben's wedding. I took her out for dinner at the Ritz resturant. It was good. Except we kept getting stares from a couple of people sitting next to us.
That was pretty much our day.

Posted by Phil at 04:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today was my first full day back. I used it to spend most of the time just preparing Shoalin fotos. Yumi got back from work early so we hung out for the rest of the day.

Posted by Phil at 05:14 PM | Permalink

I got up at about 630AM today and grabbed my remaining things. Josh took me down to the taxi guy and I said goodbye to him and Hahn. I got in the taxi and spent 2 hours travelling to the airport. There were a few strange things that happened. The first was while we were coming up on a check point, he stopped to pick up some random lady that wanted a ride thru the checkpoint and was gonna pay him 5 or 10 RMB. We got stopped at the checkpoint and the lady jabbered at the security guard for a bit and then we were let thru. The driver dropped her off about 200 meters away. After she left, he turned at looked at me like he didn't know what the hell was going on, so we both laughed a bit. The other odd thing was when the driver asked me for the money before he got to the airport. I had no idea why. I called Mountain and he told Mountain that it was because the police may cause him trouble if I pay hi at the airport. This is all shady. I made sure he was near the airport and that I could see it in case he tried jipping me. This is the guy that made Paige pay him more money before he got to the airport.
i got to the airport and had to spend about 2 hours sitting around. I finally got onto the airplane. I had to wait another 2 hours on the airplane. Once I got to Guangzhou at 115pm i got my bags and caught a bus to the next bus station around 150pm. i got to the other bus station then got another bus at 3pm. I finally got to Xiaolan around 5pm. Yumi was already there. She was in Shenzhen but got back at 430pm.
What a long day.
I am tired. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 05:23 PM | Permalink

Today was fantastic and a very gorgeous day. I had lots of fun. Josh joined me for morning 5 AM practice. Then we had a girl from Philadelphia spend the first half of the day with us, her name was Cheryl. We practiced hard this morning and it was fun. I reviewed everything I learned 5 times.
In the afternoon i went to Dengfeng to get some last things. Then practice in the afternoon was really good. I practiced and then had Happy Sifu videotape my form work.
After practice was done, we hung around doing things and then headed out to the French Fry place where we had a send off party. It was really great. Yummy food.
Afterwards i hung out with Happy and Andy sifu. I didn't want to leave. I really liked hanging out with them. I didn't wantt o leave practice.
Afterwards I hung out with Josh and Nick the Aussie while I packed things up.
Goodnite!

Posted by Phil at 05:49 PM | Permalink

This mornign I slept thru morning practice do help my cold that I feel coming on. I couldn't sleep so I took some medicine to see if I could go for 8am practice. Yeah, i felt a little odd while practicing. Like cold sweats at first while I was running. Then I noticed that when I was just doing basic things, I was sweating more than usual. I took it really easy on the forms today. I just did some review and learned the rest of QiXingQuan. Its short and its got the chicken step in it.
I was getting really tired really quickly. Sifu let me off a early which helped and I caught the last 2 minutes of warm water from the shower head as it dripped out. I then took my clothes to the laundry lady. Need to start packing up soon.
This afternoon I rested but still feeling off. I decided to rest for the rest of the day. I don't like the idea of not working out today, but i dont want to make myself worse. And I want to work out tomorrow. I really want to do the last day. I needed rest though for today, I hope it helps. Hopefully sifu will understand.
Since I dont have any tea, Christie made some for me. Aaaaawwww. So sweet. She is very nice. She is only 15, but she acts like our mother sometimes picking up our junk. Its kinda strange. She likes Josh, I can tell that - its very funny.
Spent afternoon practice resting. Didn't go to practice. I tried to sleep, but just laid there drifting in and out. hopefully I am better tomorrow.
I got a haircut tonite. It is very terrible. i don't like it. But it grows back. Oh well. :D
Since most of my clothes are in the wash, i needed to get some new socks for tomorrow since mine are still wet. I need to pack up sometimme tomorrow. Its gonna be a busy day. Practice, need to take one last trip to Dengfeng, and bring my camera to the morning practices n stuff. And the last night in Shaolin dinner party at the french fry place.
Goodnite. i need rest.
lata.

Posted by Phil at 02:30 PM | Permalink

I woke up this morning and I felt like there was some itch in my throat. I may be coming down with a cold. I took some tylenol and some decongestant stuff. That was good. During practice, I was sweating more than usual, but I kept pushing it. I learned more of Xing Yi Gun. After practice was over, I was talking to Josh. I figured it out. Happy Sifu is only really frustrated with me when I work on staff forms with him. I don't know why. He was also like this when he was teaching me Cheng Meng Cheng Taiji this morning. He acts like a dick when I make a mistake, even after seeing something for the first time. "Why are you doing that? Who told you to jump? No, like this, do it right." Sometimes all I got were audible frustrated sighs. He really gets on my nerves when he acts like this. The only downside to his teachings i think. However, whenever I make mistakes in Zui Quan, it doesn't bother him. He seems to enjoy working on that with me.
It may be the chinese way of teaching, or not. Luckily he aint beating me like the chinese do to chinese students. I guess i shouldn't complain, it could be worse, but I really get annoyed with these little pissy comments.
Anywho, felt a little more off at lunch when I was on the computer, my head started hurting and so did my eyes, like when you get a slight fever. So, I took some medicine to see if that cured me up. it sorta did.
I went to afternoon practice and worked my ass off on Xing Yi Gun. I learned the rest of it and Sifu was again acting like a jerk during the teaching. I dont think it helps his attitude when i talk back to him, but I am not accustomed to be treated like this when learning gong fu. The Shaolin Monk in Las Vegas, Gabriel, and the Shorinji Kempo senseis, none of them have acted like this. I am really frustrated with Sifu taking his frustrations with his boss out on me.
This morning as I was coming to 8AM class, I grabbed some water downstairs and there was their boss scolding and yelling at Happy Sifu, Bean Sifu, and one of the office girls. I don't know what about. So at the beginnning of the morning class, I asked Sifu if everything was alrigth and he said that he was just angry with his boss and has finally made the decision to leave Tagou. I asked him when and he said, "After". After, huh. After today? After next week? "After."
Ok.
This school seems to be shooting itself in the foot alot. Its a great location, but they overcharge on everything and the great teachers they have are being treated like dogs and don't want to stay, so moral really sucks. Oh well. I want to find this boss and tell him that he is an idiot.
I worked so hard in afternoon practice that I almost passed out. I am gonna have a huge bruise on my left bicep from this staff form. there is a lot of power in it. Its a fun form too but also very tiring. I don't know how many tiems i did it, but I tired myself out. Also, I did some Zui Quan in the morning. I finally got the kip, when you are on the ground and you jump up to your feet. I can't do it all the time, i did it about 5 times. A couple times I had to put my hands out to keep my balance from falling over. It was a good sign though. I need to work on it so I can throw it into the form.
Last night i felt eh and went to bed really early. That realy didnt help because I all night I didnt sleep well. I had gong fu forms going thru my head constantly, like when you study for an exam all day for a couple days and then you cant fall asleep because the formulas are running thru your head.
Also, when I laid on either side of me, my arms hurt from the bruises.
Sifu said that everyone who does this form gets bruises in these spots.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 02:09 PM | Permalink

I got up at 515 and met up with Sifu and we went running outside. It was a gorgeous morning. I ran and he jogged. His foot still causes him trouble and he never runs. This was the first time he really tried to run in awhile. He was doing ok. He had me jump a bunch of times up the stairs and then re-do it. Then we went to the tourist area and i did Badua Jin and Taiji.
Came back to the room and crashed before mid-morning practice. Morning practice was good. Started learning a new staff form. Xing Yi Gun. Sweet. Lots of power in this form.
After practice was over, Josh, Christine, and I went to the rope bridge on Shaoshi Shan. It was gorgeous. Words really cant describe the view. It was wonderful. THey had built a walkway attached to the side of the mountain cliffs. It was fantastic. I got lots of pictures and good video. The weather was perfect: blue skies, warm sun, no humidity, cool breeze.
The view man, the view. Undescribable...for an online journal.
After that, we just barely made it back in time for afternoon practice. And boy, were we tired. Afternoon practice was hard too. I mean, we were tired an that made it tuff but the practice itself was also tuff. I learned more of Xing Yi Gun. I also did Zui Quan a bit. I was so tired and Sifu kept pushing me and made me do it to some chinese gong fu music. It was wierd because i had to do it in a time frame, so I had to go really quick, and the fact that I was tired made em a bit looser so I was able to get that drunk look pretty well. I impressed myself, but I bet it still looked poopy. and ridiculous.
After practice. I grabbed some dinner. Then I called Yumi because she just came back to Xiaolan today. I called her up and she was eating at the cafe with John and they were catching up. So, I only got to chat with her for a short time before she let me go. Then, afterwards, I took a nice hot hot hot shower. Then Josh came back and continued playing his PS2 game. I plugged my shaver in to charge it up and it blew out the circuit and all the rooms on our side of the hall lost electricity. Shit. i have used these wall sockets before and I have never had a problem with them. So, is it my fault or the wall sockets? I don't understand. I just put the plug into the wall and it just fried it. Wierd. Luckily I didnt get an electrical burn, because there was a big flash right next to my hand. Phew. Josh was about to beat the level too. It was a tough level. Sorry fellas. And as of now, 30 minutes later, they still haven't gotten the power back up on that side yet. Poop. What a great nite, huh.
Well, i am gonna go to bed, I am really tired and want to do morning practice tomorrow. Later.

Posted by Phil at 08:57 PM | Permalink

It rained all day today. And it was really cold. Those pants and jacket I bought are good. However, today saw the departure of all the russians for three days. They are off to spend time at WuDang Shan for more meditation at the Taoist mountain and its temples. I want to go see that place, but I dont have time. The upside of that is that we went back into the old training hall. The benefits of that are that its warmer, closer, and with music. The downsides is that its a smaller area and there are no pads underneath the carpet. Every time I tried to do Zui Quan, it was a hard landing. Getting used to it though.
Today I spent just practicing what I have been learning. Sifu told me at the end of practice to come tomorrow morning at 520 and we will have early practice. Cool.
Practice today made me really tired. I had my dinner and then Christine and Josh wanted to go to the french fry place. I went along. All I had was a few french fries and some beer. Thats it. It was fun. I was really tired though. I told the owner that we would come again on Saturday night.
We came back and I fell asleep at 9pm. So tired.

Posted by Phil at 08:49 PM | Permalink

Today was raining most of the day again. In the morning, there wasn't any rain, but it was quite overcast. Somewhere in the middle of morning practice, it started raining. I was really tight this morning. Its been really cold the past couple days and all I have are shorts and a t-shirts. I need to buy pants and a sweatshirt today. This is getting ridiculous. Josh wasn't doing well either, he wasn't feeling very good. The morning practice was mostly just conditioning today.
Near the end of practice though, some chinese guys came in with video cameras and wanted to watch the gweilos practice gong fu. So Josh was doing some saber stuff and I fumbled my Meteor Hammer routines. I mean, I didn't feel as though they were watching me, nor was i trying to perform, i just couldn't do anything right. I didn't know what was wrong. And then Andy Sifu was like, "Ah, terrible." I was like, "Thanks for the vote of confidence, pal."
After the camera folks left, I practiced Meteor Hammer on my own and i was doing better. Go figure.
Lunch was lunch. Was quite tired.
Right before afternoon practice I went to the shop that sells the Tagou uniform. I picked up some pants and the "jumper" as the british call it. The zip up sweatshirt. Its itchy. Maybe it just needs to be washed. It did keep me warm though. It took me awhile to get it because the little room was packed and the people behind the counter were lazy and not doing their jobs. And there was this little nasty man in front of me with overgrown fingernails, all dirty of course, and he was the only one smoking a cigarette and annoying a couple kids with it as well, I wanted to punch him in the face. Try to clean yourself up a little, it would be nicer on all of us.
Afternoon practice was frustrating. I spent most of the time on Zui Quan, but it was tuff because Happy Sifu kept wanting me to do things that I can't possible do because I can't bend backwards like that yet. So I was very frustrated with myself. He was joking as he stated the obvious, "Phil, you are so stiff!"
Thank you, Capt. Obvious.
So I ended practice reviewing the staff forms that I know.
After practice, had some dinner while chilling until the showers gave us hot water.
Nice hot shower.
Then computer work.
Goodnite. Time to sleep. Later

Posted by Phil at 10:18 PM | Permalink

Its Sunday today. The day off. Aaaah. I got out of bed around 10AM, aaaah, so nice. I needed that rest. The morning and thru lunch was spent just chilling out. The weather wasn't raining, but it wasn't the nicest either. It was very overcast and threatening to rain. Dude...hold up, I am listening to the SUPERMAN theme song right now. Man, is that infectious. Da da da da da da... I want to rub and polish John William's bald head.
Anyways, back to the weather. It blew. I was afraid it would rain. I was like, please don't rain till after I get back! Michael, the remaining German guy, and I had made plans to go visit the cave that Bohdidharma/Damo meditated in for 7 or 9 years with his brain upright. The legend goes that this monk from India came to the Shaolin Temple and was denied entrance into the temple, prolly because he looked different from all the chinese, and he went to a very small cave near the top of the mountain right behind the Shaolin Temple. He meditated there for 7-9 years and left his shadow on the wall. (this shadow stone is apparently in the Shaolin Temple now). When he was done, he came back to the temple and was allowed in and he then taught all the monks exercises to keep healthy and this is where Shaolin Gong Fu comes from. So, he is credited with brining Gong Fu in Shaolin.
At about 2pm, I met up with Michael and we started off on our trek. The path to the cave started on the other side of the Shaolin temple, between the temple and the Pagoda Forest. The sign said, "Damo Cave 3000M ->".
It was all up-mountain. It was a long climb. Took us about 1.25 hours. The walk up there was tiring and quite steep. They had rock stairs and stuff and the construction quality was total Chinese. It must be about 2 years because all the stuff looked to have just started to fall apart. ;-) Just kidding. The stairs and railings have just fallen into disrepair over the years. The views from the steps and from the platforms that were built were very beautiful. You could see the whole valley. I got some great, if not repetitive, pictures.
We got to the platform where the cave was, just about 50m from the very top of the mountain. The cave itself was basically a hole in the wall, like most Chinese dwellings. ZING! I am on fire today! Henan is actually well known for having cave dwellers. There are still people in this province that live in caves. Apparently, some of them are quite luxurious (sp?). Anywho, its a small hole in the wall of a cliff face and there was a little sitting, meditating statue of Bodhidharma.

OH OH OH! BREAKING NEWS! I just got word that Josh had his balls cut off in a freak saber accident while he was practicing a form. More details as they...arise...

Back to Damo. I took some pictures. I walked into the cave and there sat a tiny chinese man staring at me. I was afraid to take any pictures because I thought he may blow my head off with his Qi Gong.
After that, Michael and I walked up to the top of the mountain. Wow. I mean, Wow. It was absolutely beautiful. Even with the overcast sky. It was getting a bit brighter though, the sun seemed to want to come out but we still under a blanket. But on the other side of the mountain there were a bunch more mountians covered in mist and it was amazing. I took lots of pictures. I hope they turn out well.
We just sat in the little pagoda for a while just enjoying the scenery.
We then walked over to the Damo statue that was built 10 years ago about 30M from the Pagoda. Took some pictures. It was nice.
We hung out there a bit longer. We then started to head down about 4pm. To get to the bottom of the mountain and on our way back, it took us about 20 minutes to go down. Much easier. As we were heading back to Tagou, all, well, about 95% of all the Tagou students had their weekly Sunday assembly meeting on the big sand practice area. It was pretty amazing to see about 7000 students march/walk down the road from the school and line up. Wow. They were packed in like sardins too. I got some pictures, don't worry.
Then I headed back to the room. Michael and I said our goodbyes, he is off tomorrow morning. I got his email, so thats good.
I had some dinner and later, Josh and I watched some Gong Fu VCDs - some WuDang Wushu and some Ermei Wushu. Then we watched Madagascar, that animation movie. It was ok. The best parts of that movie were the Penguins, the Lemurs, and the Monkeys. Unfortunately, the Monkeys werent used enuff. The Penguins ruled though.
Then we headed to bed later. Well, good night all.

Posted by Phil at 09:45 PM | Permalink

Woke up again to rain. However, today, the rain lasted most of the day. It stopped around lunch time but picked up again during afternoon practice.
Morning practice was good. I worked all on Zui Quan. Happy Sifu was being really pedantic about the stances and had me doing a few moves over and over again. Which is good. Helping me to get the movements right. There are lots of little things in each movement that you need to look at. Its fun to do but when you keep doing the same things over again, u start to get tired, especially when it some of the most physically intense movements.
Also during practice I practice some butterfly kicks. I got those good, but there is also another way to do the kick. When you go to the butterfly kick, you don’t spread your body out, you just spin as you jump and you spin sideways and either land on your feet or you do a break fall. I got the break fall one down sorta because its easier. And I can barely land on my feet. Its really tuff. I need to jump higher apparently.
Morning practice was good and during lunch time, I was planning to go to Dengfeng to get some of those shoes and get my pictures, but during lunch I popped in “Hitler: The Rise of Evil”, the biopic where Hitler was played by that psycho from Trainspotting, Robert Carlysle. It was good, but a little quick with his childhood and junk. Just creepy to see how he achieved everything and how many people just allowed it to happen. Its freaky.
Then optional afternoon practice was at 3pm. We had just finished stretching and warming up when the Sifus boss, Mr. Lu showed up. It was really sad to see how the teachers acted when he came in. He strutted in, smoking a cigarette, and issueing orders and our teachers lost their personalities and became obedient dogs to an asshole. Just the stories I hear of this guy, I don’t like him, and seeing him just put a face on it. We had to fix up the carpet because it needed to be pulled away from the wall when it started raining because the Chinese don’t seem to have overhangs on their buildings and rain comes in thru the windows. So we needed to place the crash pads underneath the carpet and then pull the carpet back over it. That kicked up lots of dust and dirt.
Then once that was complete, the women’s Xanda team took over the training hall and our practice was cancelled. Well, I thought they were women at first, but then I took another look and thought they were men, then I looked again and they were women. I shuddered. These were some of the butchest Chinese women I have ever seen. Almost all of them were bigger than me. And hell, I have bigger boobs than them. It was freaky. It was all I could do from staring. If you want something relative back home, think of the women’s rugby teams. Yikes. I swear, about 80% looked like men, the only ones that didn’t had girl haircuts. Wow.
After that, since I had time on my hands, I headed down to Dengfeng. I picked up my pictures and I bought the fancy meteor hammer, 3 pairs of shoes, and those wrist gauntlets. Searching for the equipment was tuff because I forgot which store was which. I ended up buying the hammer and the shoes from that expensive place. They wanted 55RMB for the hammer and I laffed. I got them down to half and they forgot that I bought the other one for 15RMB. So I asked. They tried to sell me the steel one for 40RMB. I was like, “Dude, yesterday I got this thing for 15RMB and you are trying to sell me the brass one for 55RMB? Don’t insult me.” I had found other shops with the shoes, but not the right size. These shoes are a bit tighter than the others so I had to get size 44, the biggest they carry. They wanted 50RMB for each pair, and after they had brought 3 pairs, I was like, wtf, they are 35. They were like, no, 50, so I started to leave and they were like, OK OK OK!
Dicks.
After that I caught the last bus back to Shaolin. In the evening, it was Dola’s birthday so he wanted to watch Ace Ventura 2. Not again. So we watched that. I went back to my place then crashed and slept really well. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 01:01 PM | Permalink

I woke up this morning and it was raining. Crap. That means its gonna be cold. I am still surprised that its not more hot in this area. All I have are shorts and t-shirts. I have nothing long to keep me warm. Oh well. My body this morning at practice wasn't working well. Not doing what I told it to do.
I worked alot on conditioning this morning and practicing Meteor Hammer, not rope dart. Its more like a steel ball at the end of a rope. Since the weather wasn't that great, I didn't run the mountain, Josh and I decided to go to Dengfeng to look for equipment and gear. Plus, I wanted to take my memory card in to get the pictures put on a CD.
We got to Dengfeng and did our little errands then went to the VCD/DVD shop that sells wushu VCDs. They got lots of stuff. And I mean lots. I picked up 2 Zui Quan VCDs, 2 Meteor Hammer VCDs, a Monkey Fist VCD, and 3 Wong Fei Hong VCDs - basically, forms that are claimed to have been used/created by Wong Fei Hong. Upon viewing them, the old guy doing them didn't look very good.
Josh got Nan Quan - which means Southern Fist and is the northern interpretation of Hong Ga/Hong Quan.
After that, we went looking at shops for equipment. No one carried Xing Bian (Meteor Hammer), at least not put together. Most places carried rope dart, but thats not what I wanted. Rope dart is much smaller rope. Some places sold the Meteor Hammer but just by itself. Aiya, can't anyone have it put together. Josh said he had seen them all put together somewhere, but he couldn't remember. Oh well. Other things I was looking for were the nice shoes that Andy Sifu had, we found them, but places wanted like 40RMB+ and I was like, hellz no. I wanted to get a positive ID on price from Andy Sifu first. Josh was also looking for practice weapons.
Other things that I saw that made me want were some wrist armor/gauntlets for Hong Quan/HongGa forms. Basically, black leather that wraps around your wrists and has studs on it. Its cool. Nan Quan uses it as well. I was haggling the price with the guy but he wasn't going as low as I wanted and didn't seem to care. So, I left, I figured I could alwasy get it later. Its a shame though, they have these great gauntlets, but they don't have a matching belt. They have belts with studs, but they don't have the leather belt with studs. Its usually like a thin band/belt thats made of fabrice with about 10 big metal circles on it. It doesn't match. I have seen pictures of the old teachers doing the forms while they are wearing the black studded gauntlets with a matching studded belt. Its really big. It kinda looks like a weightlifting belt. Where you buckle the belt, its thin, but at your hips it starts to get bigger and then at your back its the bigges and its covered in studs. I want to find one. I may just have to make one when I get back to the states cause I can't find them in Guangdong anywhere either.
At the last shop we came to, which happened to be the most expensive one, I got them down on the price of a steel meteor hammer ball for 15rmb. They wanted 35RMB for it. I laughed my ass off. They wanted 55RMB for the real fancy looking meteor hammer, which is made of brass and in an egg shape. It looks of better quality, relatively. But, i passed on it. We also asked prices for the nice Chinese Wushu shoes, and they were like 50 and we got vocal, down the street, they are like 35, and the shop people were all NO!!!. Haggling them down to 15 on the meteor hammer took a while as well. Sticklers.
After that, we snagged a box taxi back to Tagou. The driver agreed on 10RMB, but when we got back, he tried to get 10RMB from both of us. We gave a wry smile and said, "No" and walked away. Punkass.
Afternoon practice was good. The weather had cleared up and it was beautiful. Andy Sifu and I built the Meteor Hammer weapon from scratch. Got some thin rope and put it together. It was very different from the rock bag practice weapon. This one's meteor hammer was much heavier with more of light rope so it gave more snap and was much more dangerous. I was scared to use it. I clunked myself a couple good times on the knee and foot and back of the head. Nothing to bad, but I can see how this could do some serious damage if you actually could use it. It would friggin hurt.
The Shaolin VCDs say that this weapon was one of the hardest to use...yeah, they say that about every weapon. Anyway, they call it a softweapon and its one thats hidden because it can be rolled up and hid in a pocket. Its a cool weapon. It looks really neat when done well. I got all the moves down that were on the VCD, from being taught by Andy Sifu, but i just don't have the speed yet. And using speed with this is a little dangerous for me right now. Once I get more used to it, I will increase speed.
I spent all afternoon with it. I realized that when I get back to the states, I will need to use a better rope. I will need to replace it because the rope we used was beginning to unravel a bit in a certain area from all the twisting of the rope. Aiya. Why can't we have some quality here!?
Since the weather got really nice, Andy wanted me to run the mountain with Josh after practice. I had brought along my video camera this time. I ran the mountain with it and got some great footage. I was being careful and I told Andy Sifu that I would take a bit longer than normal because of the camera. He said OK. I was as careful as I could be while running with that thing. I think I got some good shots.
In the evening, we celebrated Trevor with his leaving on Saturday morning. So we went to the french fry place and I ate too much again. The food is sooooooo good there. Wondeful. Paige tried BaiJiu for the first time. He was like, That stuff is vile!
After dinner, we headed back and crashed. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 01:01 PM | Permalink

No morning practice. Too tired. Mid morning practice started out tuff, my body isn't responding to my brain like it should. Its really frustrating. After I got properly warmed up and doing some things, Happy Sifu and I put a huge dent into the Zui Quan form. I worked on it more and started having different moves strung into the form. To get up from the ground, I can't do the kip, or the jumping off your back to standing up. My abs aren't strong enuff or something. I just can't seem to do it, so I have to get up other ways. Sifu said its looking better, but still needs work. Its fun, but hard. Thankfully we are on a slightly padded floor.
Wong Sifu torn some muscles in his foot. He had this huge knob grow on the top of his foot. I thought he broke the foot, but he said no, its just the muscle. Wow. It made me cringe.
After practice was over, I climbed the mountain. The weather today is absolutely fabulous. There is very low humidity so you can see everything. I was on the mountain and I cursed myself for not bringing a camera. BLASTED!
After i came down I grabbed lunch. After lunch I chilled, tried to pay Xiaohui but she was gone and I went to the top of Tagou to get better pictures.
Afternoon practice was good. Hard, but good. I finished learning the Zui Quan form that Happy Sifu put together. It seemed more so today that he was making it up. Then I thought about it and this may be one of those things where there are just series of movements and you can put them together in different ways at your own leisure. Interesting.
Then, Andy made me run the mountain again. So, i did the mountain 2x today. I did the best I could. I made it in 30 minutes. I tried to run when I could, but I struggled a bit climbing and a couple times running. I ran thru all the spiderwebs that I didn't destroy last time. Since I was ten minutes late, Andy Sifu only made me do 40 push ups. I had to do them on the asphalt road with my hands in fist. DAMN that hurts!
After that, Josh and I were really really really hungery. So we ate.
I tried to pay XIaohui again this evening but she was gone again.
We also took our clothes to have some laundry done. We could barely make it up to the sixth floor while carrying our junk. THe rest of the night was me being really tired and just chilling out. As I walked down the halls to and fro areas, I felt like i was gonna collapse. I literally looked like i was drunk. My muscles were doing things that I wasn't telling them to do. I was stumbling whenever ever I walked.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 02:07 PM | Permalink

I woke up early for morning practice but it was pouring rain, so I went back to bed.
Mid-morning practice was weird. My body felt quite odd. My legs were a bit sore, I think its because I didnt do anything yesterday. But my body just didnt feel good while doing everything, like it was clumsy and slow. It could have been the weather. It was quite chilly. But during warm ups, we warmed up pretty good.
I practiced rope dart this morning and learned another move. Andy Sifu said thats all he really knows and that he will create a form for it. He said that there are lots of forms for the rope dart, but its really just up to the individual on what to do. No biggie, i got lots of basics. Thats whats important.
After practice, had some lunch and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Surprisingly good. Very fun to watch. Man, Rom is really annoying when you are trying to watch a movie. Just constantly talking at all the good parts.
Anywho. I went to pay Xiaohui, but she was sleeping. I shoulda gone in there and woke her up. Did some computer junk. Talked to someone really important and cleared up some things. And I got my plane ticket to Japan set up. Sweet!
Chilled until practice. Afternoon practice was ok. Nothing special. Body still isn't working like it should. I did some Hong Quan and Josh was intent on watching it because he is trying to learn Nan Quan which is the norther interpretation of Hong Quan/Hong Ga.
After class was over, we took showers and went to the French Fry place for dinner...for some reason. The food was soooooooo good. Had lots of beer. It was nice.
Well, that was mostly it today. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 02:50 PM | Permalink

Woke up this morning and really had no desire for practice. I wouldn't be able to do anything. All the activity would cause me more trouble. And it was this morning that Josh tried to fix the toilet. And then from the bathroom I heard, "Hey Phil...toilet isn't flushing anymore...and I mean it this time."
He said he would tell the people when he headed to practice. He did, but nothing came of it. I got out of be a bit later and headed to the little doctors office to get some pills that work well, from what I have heard. As I was leaving my room, I snagged the snaggle-toothed hall monitor with the lazy eye to let her know of the broken toilet and show her the problem. She is a very nice girl. I like her. She is also kind of funny too. Very nice person. Her co-hall monitor, however, isn't the most pleasant person. When I came back from the doctor, i told her about it, and she snapped at me, "Wo zhi dao". I was like, "ok, you know about it. Why is it still broken?"
That must have done something because she walked away and came back a minute later with a guy to that seemed to fix it for the immediate future. Thank you, sir!
Back to my doctor trip. I walked down to the doctors office and found a free doctor. I walked up to him and we just stood there for a moment locking eyes and not really saying anything - it was a kodak moment. He said, "Ni hao." I responded, "Ni hao. Wo la xi" (i have loose bowels)
He was like, "Aaaaah...guo lai. Zuo le" (come in, sit). He asked me a bunch of stuff and i couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but I think he mentioned, how many times, so I told him how many times. He was like, aaaah. And then asked me if i felt hurt/sick elsewhere. I was like, pointing to my stomach, then to my forehead, "Bu tong, bu tong." He then asked if I was itching my arms or body, he had to explain it to me by showing him itching his arm because I didnt understand. I was like, nope. I just kept pointing to my butt and saying, "La xi." As he wrote out a medicine perscription, he had a slight smile on his face over my explanation I think. He was a young guy.
I went in to get the medication and man, this place was crowded with about 10 kids all trying to buy something at one time. I was like, wait in line suckas. I got my meds and it only cost 4.2RMB. Josh said the only thing that works are the tablets, the other meds are for like hurt tummy and fever. I think the doctor prescribed it just to be sure.
I then grabbed something to drink and a small thing to eat to get some food in me. I brougth my video cam with me to video tape some kids practicing, but one of the teachers told me not to use. So, i was like, poo. Not a big deal, the weather is overcast and not too good, I should wait until it gets sunny again.
I chatted with the Germans, the old guy and his girl. The young daughter was at practice. Stuppe, the guy, had hurt his knee, and his woman had gastrol intestinal fast track problems too. They were gnna leave sometime tomorrow. They would go to Longmen Shiku and I told them how to get there.
After that, I came to my room and laid down and watched Taste the Blood of Dracula. It was ok. I think it was like a sequel of one of his other flicks. Like #3 or #4 in a series. Lunch time came and my issues were not really acting up, but now my tummy was hurting a bit. Maybe it was the medicine. Who knows. I want to go to practice this afternoon, but I doubt I will.
Practice was over and josh came back and I told him the toilet was fixed. "Its making that gurggeling sound." I had a sandwich for lunch and some water. During so, we watched Alien VS Predator. Josh had wanted to see it and he was like, throughout it, "This movie sucks!" At the end, he was like, "that movie was total crap! Give me 1 hour, a blunt pencil, and some paper and I will write a better story and screenplay for this film. Bloody Hell, I would even do the story boards. Bollocks!" (he is british by the way)
After that, I hit up the computer room where I told Mr. Bean Sifu about my issues and told him I may not make afternoon practice. While on computer, XIaohui asked me to pay money. Sure thing. after this.
I didn't pay afterwards. I just left. Cause I needed to use the toilet.
In the afternoon, I pretty much spent the time playing video games and relaxing and trying to get thru the soreness of a tummy. It passed over. Then around 6pm we went out to a dumpling place in Dengfeng to do a send off for the german folks. They are leaving tomorrow.
The food was really good. I took some pills before we left and I realized that the stomach pain was caused by the pills. I thought this stuff was supposed to help ya.
We came back and we pretty much chilled in the rooms. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 03:16 PM | Permalink

Every one seemed tired today. I was a little. Wong Sifu didnt show up for morning practice. What a punk. :D
THere is a new 17year old guy who lives in Hong Kong but goes to boarding school in Rhode Island. His name is Trevor.
This mid-morning, practice was good. I did some staff and other junk, but spent most of the time with Andy Sifu doing Rope Dart. Learned some new things. The rope got so wet from my sweat that my hands started to prune up.
Also, the young german girl put in some German Death Metal on the stereo. IT RULED! I was cracking up. She also had some And One. Nice.
During lunch time, Josh and I went to Dengfeng. I needed to pick up some contact lense solution and also get a rope dart for myself. We drove into Dengfeng and walked down the street. We found some contact stuff right quick then ventured around until we got to this "burger" place. Its like a fastfood place, but not really. They made a chicken leg burger that was really tasty. Just the meat from the leg, not the bone or cartilidge. Quite tasty. After that, we hit up a gong fu shop looking for a rope dart and we didnt find any. We then went to the DVD shop he usually checks out. I picked up John Water's "A Dirty Shame" - OMG this movie was sooooooooo funny!
I also got "Taste the Blood of Dracula", an old Christopher Lee Dracula movie. Neato.
We tried to pick up BATMAN BEGINS, but it was that same damn Russian copy that Josh already had and they had in Xiaolan. The transfer/the unlicensed copy of this DVD was really good. Very impressive.
After that, we went to the super market and got some ice cream. We decided to head back after that. We didnt feel like walking around anymore and wanted to rest a bit before practice.
The buses back to Shaolin Si were empty and looked as though they would take a while before they would leave, so we spotted a Taxi guy that Josh knows who was on his way back to Tagou, because he lives there, and he took us back for only 10RMB, which is half of the normal price. Awesome.
So, we chilled out for about 1 hour while we watched the first hour of A Dirty Shame. Wow, this movie was funny. Very funny, but also disgusting. But funny. Johnny Knoxville plays a messiah of sorts in the film. It ruled.
Class started and the training hall was quite crowded because they were having a Xanda practice/scrimage. Groups of students watched other students compete. That gave us a shorter place to study our gong fu and we had a much smaller space to practice. I did more with the rope dart. It was good. During practice, i started getting gas pretty heavily.
Near the end of practice, Andy Sifu took me, Josh, and the 16 year old German girl to go run the mountain. It seems like both times i climbed the mountain I have had really bad gas. I am worried I may cause an avalanche.
If we were slow the first time I climbed it, we were even slower this time. It started raining as we were halfway up the mountain and we also had a person that had never been up it before. So we were being careful. I actually found I had the energy to scale up the mountain much quicker and after I was done, I want to do it again tomorrow. As we were halfway up the mountain it started raining and then as we were closer to the top it started raining harder. We started jogging for a bit across the top, but soon stopped as the rain increased in power causing all the rocks and stones to become as slippery as ice. The only place we could get a footing on was the dirt and sand that had gotten very muddy. Well, not bad, but wet dirt basically.
Going down the mountain, which usually is quicker, was very slow because we had to walk and climb down. The stones were very slippery and we were slipping everywhere. I was in the lead this time and I kept walking thru the spider webs. As we got close to the bottom, Andy had scaled a little bit up and met us about 50 feet from the bottom. I was like, "Sorry for the time...the rain has caused the stones to be like ice." He was like, "Yeah, no worries, its raining."
Apparently, the record for doing the mountain was about 13 minutes. And that is from the base of the school, not from the road where the gweilos start. Wow.
After that, we had some dinner and finished up A Dirty Shame. And immediately after dinner I started having gastrol intenstinal fast track problems. In other words... la xi. Chinese for that thing you take the pink stuff for.
DIARHEA
So, I had to deal with that. I don't believe it was the dinner/school food because I have had it for the past 2 weeks, it must be that lunch food. Or maybe the dinner sped it up, i dont know.
So the rest of the evening I pretty much chilled out and stuff.
And wouldn't you know it, when I get gastrol intestinal fast track problems, the toilet breaks and wont flush properly. AIYA!
Josh finally paid for his training of the last month. We watched Johnny English, that Rowan Atkinson film...it wsan't very good.
We then went to bed. And I had a few trips to el bano as well.
sore night everyone.

Posted by Phil at 12:23 PM | Permalink

Woke up at 6AM today to get ready and catch the earliest bus I could to Luoyang. I got out to wait about 645am and I caught a bus around 650. I swear, this has got to be one of the dirtiest buses I have been on in China. Just bad. The trip to Luoyang, the ancient capital of China for the early dynasties, was pretty hard. Bumpy roads dirt everywhere, constant stops where the driver disappeared for 5 minutes at a time. But that's China. Also, outside of the Songshan Mountains, Henan really stinks. I mean, the smell. Its like rotten food, trash, and horsepies all wrapped into one. At times it smells like Greenfield Village...by the horseshit areas. Its also the same smell by the Tagou cafeterias. Yuck.
YOu would think that the ancient capital of China would be a huge metropolis of culture, but it really isnt. Apparently, back in the day, it was sacked big time and never recovered. In the 60s, the communists put back in some new red life with industry and now 6 million workers/comrades live there.
There are a few things that they have though. They have:
1. Longmen Shiku (Dragon Gate Grottoes)
these were cave and rock carvings of Buddhas and religious sculptures that dealt with the stories and disciples of Buddha. I can't remember the exact number, but there are like over 7000 carved scenes or individuals. THere is some amazing stuff there. I got lots of pictures. Its a shame that the weather wasn't a bit nicer, it was overcast. Some of the most memorable stuff was the 10,000 Buddha cave. It was carved out room with 10,000 buddhas carved into the walls. Really amazing. There was another one that was quite amazing that I forgot the name. There was also a couple huge statues of Buddha and protectors and stuff. Giant. I mean, huge.
There was also a temple that was quite nice. It was on a hill. THere was also the White Gardens, which was nothing really. Just a place in a bunch of trees. It was nice, but nothing special.
2.Guanlin Si
This is the location of the tomb of Guan Yu, the chinese Lord of War. There were also other Taoist Temple buildings here too. Guan Yu was a general during the 3 Kindoms period and many stories have been fabricated of him and in the Qing Dynasty, the emporer labeled him as the Taoist Lord of War. You may recognize him at the chinese resturants. He is the fat guy with the long fu-manchu mustache that always carries a big Gwan-Dao. He usually has incense sticks burning in front of him. The chinese pray to him alot for eveything. He was considered a wise and powerful general, he isn't seen as a bad man, eventhough he is the Lord of War.
The temple area was, eh. I was let down by his tomb. It was just a big mound of earth that was enclosed in octogonal wall built during the Qing Dynasty. I was expecting something more symbolic, like trumpets and fanfare and statues of him surrounding his gravestone which would have a giant Gwan-Dao stuck in the headstone with the chinese name as a translation of Exaliber, and there would be a prophecy written that said when a person was able to remove said Gwan-Dao from the headstone, that person would be the reincarnation of Guan Yu and would bring about the glorified future of the Chinese and march it across the world. Thats what I was hoping for. I just got a load of grass and trees. So lame.
3. Baima Si (White Horse Temple)
I didn't see it, didnt' have enuff time, but it was the first ever Buddhist Temple on Chinese soil. The story goes that the monks went west and in Afghanistan about 100AD, met two monks and they brought back a bunch of stuff on white horses and built the temple there. Hence the name. The original temple is gone, but it was rebuilt or had more things built on the area since then in different dynasties.

I got to Luoyang around 9AM and inquired on some people about the location of the hidden rebel base...whoops, i mean, bus #81 that will take me to the Longmen Shiku. I found the bus and it took us almost 45 minutes to get to the temple. It would have been quicker, but it had to stop all the time and I picked the bus up at the start point, and Longmen was the end point. It was only 1RMB though. Can't complain. But it was hot. Outside of the Songshan mountains, its hot and humid. Yucky.
Longmen was great.
Guanlin Si was eh.
I tried to shop a little at Longmen, but all the stores were selling the same junk that I knew no one I knew wanted.
I grabbed the bus back to the bus station and hopped a bus back to Shaolin at 415pm. I was walking alot and I was tired.
I didnt eat much today. I did have some awesome tomatoes and eggs though. The guy ripped me on the price though. Cheats. Oh well. It was just a couple rmb more.
The bus ride back was better, but hotter and more crowded. I got back to Tagou and pretty much chilled the rest of the night. I am spent. I am "nekid". Ask a british person what that means.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 09:35 PM | Permalink

WOke up this morning for morning practice, but WOng Sifu never showed up so I went back to bed at 540. Mid Morning practice was ok. I practiced mostly on Rope Dart. Learned some new stuff. Now that the italians left last nite, we don't have to worry about our teachers getting furstrated and people hogging other stuff.
Not much happened this morning.
Lunch time was pretty uneventful as well.
I had some food and watched a movie while relaxing. I tried to pay for my next 2 weeks until the 28th of August, but Xiaohui was like, oh, come back later. I was like, Don't you want my money. Its funny, they constantly remind you about it, but then when you come to pay, they don't want it. Josh hasn't paid yet for the month of August. They ask him everyday. He went to pay yesterday afternoon, and they were like, Come back later. Aiya!
Saturday afternoon practices are optional, but I went because I felt I didnt practice enuff this week, so I went. I did some more on rope dart and then I tried to do some practice on Zui Quan. I got some new stuff down. Also, I learned how to do the back handspring...where you jump backwards onto your hands and then to your feet. Happy Sifu and Dola were helping me with it. But, apparently I am having a slight problem with waist and I am not getting over quick enuff causing my legs not to come around quick enuff which causes me to land in a crouched position. I need to work on that, along with keeping my arms straight and not bending them.
Doin this move is tuff. First, you have to get over the fear of not seeing where you are jumping. Its kinda freaky. Dola just kept on saying, what i figured he was saying, "You're still not doing it right. Do it right." Happy Sifu was the same way. I was like, "Chill Fools, I have never done this before, it will take some more practice." In addition with this and some other acrobatics, i pulled a small muscle in my left bicep. Shouldn't be too bad. Happy Sifu pulled one in is shoulder doing some acrobatcis.
Rom was out most of the afternoon because he was coming down with a sore throat, I think maybe he accidently took in some of the Black Dragon Water. That might have done it. I may have done so myself, but since I have been in this country so long, I am used to its germs and I am invincible. Rock.
After class was over around 530, I went back to the room and Josh was there. I hoped in to take a cold shower, but to my surprise it was warm! THANK YOU GOD! (said like Carl in ATHF)
After I got out, I needed to change, so I told Josh and Christine (a 15year old Russian that likes Josh, and they were playing Tekken 5) to shield their eyes from Heaven.
After I changed, I hoped a bus to Dengfeng around 615pm. It started pouring rain halfway there. When I got to the city and off the bus, it was still raining and I forgot my umbrella. Great. So I got went. Then I went into the Kodak shop to go get my picture CD. I walked into the shop expecting them to have the Disc. Nope. They didnt'. Lazy bastards.
So, i basically waited for about 30 minutes for a guy to transfer them at a different, but affiliated shop and run them over, while a little girl in a sundress with big ears eating chips was staring at me and frolicking around. I was pissed. It only takes 5 minutes to burn pictures from a Memory Card to a CD. How did they not have it done within 23 hours?
Because of their laziness, i missed the last bus back to Shaolin, so I had to pay for a friggin taxi. Assholes.
I got back to Tagou and as I walked up the stairs, the gang, Paige, Ethan, Grandpa, Josh, and Grandpa were heading out to get some dumplings in Dengfeng. They had a taxi paid for so I joined them. I was still a bit hungry after all I had for dinner was a sandwich. Food was ok.
We came back and I pretty much spent the rest of the night getting ready for my trip to Luoyang tomorrow to see the Longmen Shiku (Dragon Gate Grottoes).
Well, sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 02:50 PM | Permalink

Woke up this morning and went to run and do stuff at 520AM. We had three new students today. 3 Germans from Los Angeles, 1 guy and 2 girls. The oldest one, 42, said he just got his US Citizenship before he left for China. Awesome. I had to help instruct the new germans because there werent many of us. Just Bean Sifu, Ethan(little ABC), me, and Andy. And of course,they were screwing around. YiShin was walking around with Wong Sifu and with Andy's mom and friend.
During practice, Wong Sifu and I did his version of BaDua Jin. Much shorter than the one I learned.
After that, I grabbed some breakfast.
Morning practice was...sad. I started out ok. It was good, but already hot. Very hot today but with a great breeze, but not in the training hall. And after warmups my stomach started to hurt and I was getting really tired. About half way thru class, i had to cut out because it felt too bad. I think it must be all the fried food from last nite.
I went back to my room and use el bano and rested a bit, i felt much better. I got some laundry done as well.
Lunch i spent doing nothing special. just fooling around on the computer and resting up.
I bought some Xanda shorts because I had no clean shorts to wear for practice.
Afternoon practice was very different from what I expected. We did warmups and Josh, Dola, Rom and I convinced Happy and Andy Sifu to let us go to the Black Dragon Pools to practice gong fu in the mountains on the rocks. I so wanted to work out there.
After a tough jog down the street past Shaolin and the Pagoda forest because I was carrying my bag with cameras and stuff in it. We finally arrived to the rocky path which was a long walk thru the mountains to this ravine area. This Black Dragon pool is not a trouist attraction, so the paths are very dangerous and slippery. But the scenery was A+. When we got to some of the pools, I realized this is the place where monks take fotos of themselves in stances over pools of water and the ravine is quite sharp at areas so they prop themselves between the two walls sometimes. It was really kool and I got tons of pictures.
I found out that it would be impossible to train around here. There are no wide places where you could practice forms. The paths were smooth and steep and dangerous and wet sometimes.
So, the training was pretty much walking up the mountian to get there and then the swimming. Oh my God, it felt so good. It was great. We would scale up the walls and try and jump from the highest and safest point.
Swimming with Chinese people is interesting. They strip down to their birthday suit and just swim around with each other. I swear, they are completely comfortable with swimming around and wrestling with other guys when they are completely naked. I got some pictures. It was hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing. It was just wierd seeing Happy Sifu standing on the top of the rock with his junk on display while he was thinking about where to jump and while he was thinking he was flicking his junk. Its just sooooo funny. Josh, Rom, and I kept our shorts on, but I was contemplating it. Dola had disappeared. He was off walking somewhere.
The water was cold, but it was quite refreshing. And it was so much fun. The view was glorious. As we were swimming, Happy Sifu was splashing and shouting and playing in the water. Quite funny. He was right next to me and I turned to look at him right as he turned upside down in the water and had his ass sticking in the air 5 inches from my face and I shrieked out, "Dirty Starfish, Dirty Starfish!!!!!"
Josh almost fell off the rock laughing.
We then took off and walked back to Tagou. It was a nice walk and I got lots of pictures too on the way.
I got back to the room about 650pm and hauled ass to grab the last bus to Dengfeng for 2RMB because I needed to take my fotos for processing so I can use my camera cards in Luoyang on sunday.
I got into Dengfeng and met the same camera lady and she knew what to do. I grabbed a taxi back to Shaolin. It was nice.
Then I came to the computer room where I typed this thingy up and afterwards, I went back to my room where I took a nice hot needed shower after swimming in the mountain water. I chilled and went to bed. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 09:13 PM | Permalink

Woke up at 515 and had morning practice. However, it was just me, Andy, YiShin, and Wong Sifu, and those two boys are lazy and Wong Sifu wasnt pushing them at all. So I didnt do much other than run and stretch. But Wong Sifu showed a bit of BaDua Jin. And I was like, I know that and showed him. He was all grufflike, "Where did you learn that?!" I was like, "Peace Holmes, I learned that from my Taiji Sifu, along with Chad, and gong fu magazines."
He was like, "Killer".
We walked back and chatted. Today is the last training day of Andy and YiShin. We will go out to dinner tonite at about 7 or 730 at a resturant down the street that they have discovered. Apparently, they have the best french fries...ever. I need to see this. We have to call ahead to make sure the food is fresh when we get there. And they know the owner because of their relations with Gweilos that sometimes the owner comes and picks them up. Crazy.
I grabbed a bit of breakfast and laid down for about 45 minutes before practice started.
Morning practice was ok. It was hard again. I like it hard like that. It pushes you. At first I thought all those smelly Italians were gonna join the warm ups and conditionings, but halfway thru it they all just buggered out and started doing there own things. YiShin was like, "those Italians are gonna get it one of these days." I was all, "Yea, the punks, totally disrespecting our teachers."
YiShin was like, "Yeah, ShinDi (Happy Sifu) is really angry. Very mad at all the trouble they caused."
I was all, "Yeah, I am mad because he vented his frustration by yelling at me yesterday when I was doing my best."
After warmups were done, Happy Sifu started teaching me, Rom, and Dola "Chang Hu Xing Yi Men" which is a very old and very famous Gong Fu from.
After doing that for awhile, Happy Sifu took me and Rom to wash our faces off with some cold water. It was at this point that he told me more of the problems with Italians. Apparently, that Oafish fella, thru his interpreter, told Happy Sifu's boss that his Zui Quan was very bad. Happy Sifu got in trouble and his boss yelled at him for teaching it to the Oaf. I was frustrated with that because Happy sifu's Zui Quan is the best as I have ever seen - other than Jackie Chan, who pretty much invented the stuff he put in the movie.
We practiced the form more afterwards. and its tough. ITs really long. The longest form I have seen and we just got down the first 6 moves. It looks kool though.
After that, I had some lunch with Josh and we just chatted about places to visit in China. He won a consolation prize at the competition. Basically its a Gweilo Award. A cheesy looking trophy that they presented to the couple of foreigners that were there.
After that I hit up the computer room.
Practice started at 3pm and boy was it tough. It was a warm day today. Outside, its not so bad, because there is a wonderful breeze cooling everything down, but inside the big training hall, its completely still. I tried hard to practice and to do everything to my best, but it was tough and we were tiring out quickly, Josh and I. Huffing and puffing. It was Andy and YiShin's last day pretty much so they weren't really doing much as usual, plus it was hot. But we had plans to go out tonite for the send off dinner at the french fry place...sorry, the Freedom Fry place. Rom and Dola went with Happy Sifu to Black Dragon Pool to either rest or relax or train or something. What did Andy Sifu have us do? At about 520 he told us to go run up and down the mountain. !!!! Yikes. If I wasn't out of energy now.
Actually, once we got outside, the Earth's yellow Sun's energy powered us, just like Superman. The breeze made all the difference. We felt great. This was the deal. We had to run up and then run down the mountain behind Tagou Xue Xiao, Mua Biang Ling (i think), in 20 minutes. There are a bunch of peaks in the Songshan mountain area and this is one of the smaller ones, but still, very beautiful, and very tough. For every minute that we were over, we have to do 10 push-ups. Groups of chinese people do this trek everyday and last week, Josh had to do it everyday for training before his Xanda fight.
I was like, "You should be able to get up this no problem." He just laughed.
Basically, what Josh said to do, was to walk up the front side, because its really steep. And I mean really steep. You gots to watch out for these giant black, red, and yellow spiders that make 3-D webs between the trees. He also said be careful of overturning rocks because there are scorpions under them sometimes and they are quick. Other things to watch out for are the red and yellow ants that are really big. They just look nasty.
Once you get to the top, you run across the top for a ways and then you jog down the other side cuase its a nice easy jog....yeah right.
We were wearing our wushu shoes which are basically heavily padded socks so we needed to becareful of the rocks that we stepped on. Ouch.
I damn near twisted my ankle many times. Afterwards my feet were sore from runing on the rocks and tripping a couple times.
The climb up was rocky and steep. The top was pretty flat, one other hill that we had to run up, but it was good. Thats where we ran alot and once the downhill started it was ok, because it wasn't as steep as the ascent. However, not by much. Some of it was just as steep and just as rocky and it was hard to fathom joggin down it without killing yourself.
The view from the mountain though was beautiful. Gorgeous. I need to video tape up here. We saw a Preying Mantis, long dead, stuck in one of the spiderwebs. Wow. Nasty little buggers. I saw one run by me as i was running up at the peak. Josh kept running and shrieking like a little girl when we were joggin downwards and he ran thru webs that he didn't see. So, it was good for me that he was in the lead. Plus, I had no clue as to where we were going.
As we got down to the base, the clean fresh gorgeous air gave way to the wretched stink of shit and garbage decomposing in the hot sun while Chickens and a Pig picked out pieces of food to eat. I swear to God, I hope those aren't the chickens they use for the meals. (shudder)
We got back to Andy Sifu and he was just shaking his head. OUr time, 36 minutes. Yikes, thats 160 pushups...there was no possible way i could do that, let alone 20 in the shape I was. Really tired. Sifu didnt force us to do it and I think he gave us way this one time because it was my first time. Sweet.
After that, we headed to the room to get ready for the dinner. As we were going up the stairs, Josh was in pain. The adrenaline helped him in the mountain, but walking up the stairs was super painful.
Outside, after being super sweaty and having water dripping from my shorts, I figured a cold shower would be welcomed, but once that cold water hit me, I shrieked like a schoolgirl after a boy drops a penny and goes to pick it up when his true intention is to look up her skirt.
While Josh was taking his shower, Andy and YiShin brought back his PS2. I was soooo geeeked. I haven't played videogames since I left the US. So, I plugged it in and started playing Tekken 5. Awesome!
After that, we headed out to dinner.
We got to dinner and oh my goodness. I never have eaten so many french fries in my life. They brought out about 20 heaping plates of french fries. They are THE BEST I have ever had. And fresh. There were about 16 people at the table. We got some beer and we were all hanging out. It was alot of fun. Lots of fun. All the teachers except for Andy Sifu and all the "real" students, none of the italians, were there, including the new German guy. Along with Andy's mom and her friend. Rom wasn't there because his Grandma wouldn't let him leave. What a nut. Another reason that I dont like her. Dola wasn't there either.
Then the rest of the food came out. Fried Pork cuts, fried dumplings, Sugar bananas and sugar apples. OMG! I filled up on the fries and just had a bit of the other things, but man, afterwards, I was feeling not so good in my stomach.
It was great to hang out with everyone like that. The teachers were awseome. However, Happy Sifu got a call from his boss around 8pm telling him that the Italians wanted him to come and teach them more stuff and Andy's mom wouldn't let him leave. It was great.
I chatted alot with Andy's mom and friend. Very nice people.
Afterwards, we came back and I vegged out a bit on PS2 before going to bed. WOw. Awesome.

Posted by Phil at 01:49 PM | Permalink

It took me forever to fall asleep. I think I fell asleep around 1230AM because of mosquitos and i needed water, but didnt have any. So i went and found a bottle fountain. Aaaah. I laid back down and fell asleep about 30 minutes later.
I changed my alarm and set it for 715AM, I decided to sleep thru morning practice. I would be too tired.
I woke up at 715 and I felt pretty good. Hardly any soreness that I could notice. I grabbed some quick breakfast and some water. Morning practice was really good and intense. Most of my muscles weren't sore so I was going hard again and I was able to do things that I wasn't before. Really nice. I finished learning the Yin Yang Staff form. Pretty cool. Not the flashy one I was thinking it was gonna turn out to be. But there is a part that I keep forgeting and whenever I get to it, teacher says, "Do the chicken!" Basically there is a stepping style in it for a short part that looks like a chicken.
That Italian kid was still hogging the rope dart and one of the monks was teaching another italian guy Zui Quan. I was like...argh!
I continued to work on my staff and other things. The teachers brought in the CD Player and the reciever and speakers from the other training hall and they were playing CDs. When Happy Sifu asked me to get two sticks, I grabbed my iPod as well. As I went into the other training hall to get the staffs, a wall of heat just smacked right into me. It was like walking into a brick wall. As I was getting the staffs, I started to smell something really bad, and I thought it was me because I was all sweaty and raising my arms to get the staffs, but as I left, I checked myself again and it wasn't me...DAMN! Its like clam backing stench in there.
I brought my iPod and started playing. Right away the chinese people were like, "We don't like this, we don't understand it." and they shut it off. I was like, so you are gonna play really bad Chinese Pop music that we don't understand... "Yes." Aiya! They didn't even bother to give the music a chance. They would rather take crap over quality. What a shame.
After practice was over, Happy Sifu took a quick shower and then I did as well. I was hanging my sweaty clothes up to dry and I dropped my work out shirt onto the floor. So I had to go grab it. I removed my white Yongning Lion Dance shirt from outside, and one of the russians that keep me awake at night had positioned my shirt, albiet not on purpose, underneath the AC water unit part outside the window, so all the rust water that dripped from it got on my shirt and now there is a big rust stain on it. I am pissed.
After that, I grabbed some lunch. After I did some computer stuff I talked to one of the office people about getting a key for Josh's room. I will be moving into that room once Rom comes back with his grandma. This was tuff. First, I had to explain everything to the hall monitor and this other office lady because Xiaohui wasn't in and it was just like pulling teeth. The office girl was like, "you can't go into that room, its been requested." At this point I had to raise my voice to tell her that it was prolly requested for me and that I told Xiaohui about this...raising my voice seemed to work because they let me in right away. After I checked out the room they said I could bring my stuff in. Great.
I went to go grab my stuff and as I entered the door, Dola, Rom, and Grandma Rom arrived. I told Rom about the situation and he said, "Oh my God!" in his heavily accented Russian. Its always funny and sometimes irritating to hear. But anyways. I wanted to be nice to his Grandma, I wanted to write something good, but I can't. As she walked in, so did an enormous B.O. stench. I swear, I thought I was gonna vomit. Thats not why I wont be nice to her, its because of this... As she walked in, and as I was packing up stuff, I smiled to her and said Hello, practically holding my hand out in friendship. She put her bag down and with her body language looked at me and my stuff and motioned for me to get out. My smile turned from an easy created grin to a forced smile. As I turned awaym my lips became a tight seal around my mouth holding in anything sort of curse or thing I wanted to say. That stench was unGodly. Rom and Dola smelled a bit too, but I think that was just association smell.
I packed up all my junk and fled the room. Thank the Maker! I had the hall monitor unlock Josh's room. I took my stuff in and then grabbed my cameras to go to the top of the roof and take some pictures. As I was heading out, I spotted Jean Luc's former roomkey on the TV, so I snagged it. Now I don't have to get a copy made. The office lady tried to charge me for getting a copy made. She was all, "If you want a copy, you need to pay for it." I was all loud n stuff, "NO I DON'T! I don't have to pay for anything more than I already am. You guys need to put me in this room." So, i got Jean Luc's key and didn't need to keep bugging the hall monitor to let me in until Josh showed up.
I went to the roof of Tagou to get some pictures and video of the area. So pretty. It is a gorgeous day today. Not humid, well, maybe a little, and very nice and warm, sunny with blue skies. Very bright. There was a little bit of mist/fog/humidity laying over some of the mountains and a bit of Shaolin Si. You can make it out though. Aah. So pretty.
I went back to the room and put my things in a neat order so I could get to them easily and not need to rumage thru my backpack much. I need to tell you, the chinese can not make a working backpack zipper to save their life. This bag is relatively a high quality bag and the zippers are already getting misaligned and being stupid. I spent about 10 minutes just trying to get my bag zipped up correctly.
Afternoon practice was hot. By the end, I couldn't do much because I felt that i was overheating. It was hard. Warm ups and conditioning were hot and hard, but I was able to do most of them properly since I wasn't really sore. I practiced mostly on the Yin Yang Staff this afternoon. At one point, I think Happy Sifu vented his frustration out on me when he yelled at me for not getting a movement correctly. His scolding really got to me so I argued with him and he got mad and thru his staff down and walked away to another group of students.
I was really angry. Later on he tried to help me out with a part of the form and again got to me by saying, "if you want to learn the movement properly, then do it properly, if not, I don't care." I was totally confused cause I am like doing the best I can possibly do on this form. Its long, complex, and I just learned it yesterday and I was taught by another teacher too so I was going thru it slow and analyzing everything. Its not my fault the other teacher taught me the form with a few slightly different moves than what Happy Sifu does. So, that just got to me more.
I let him kool off and I kooled off as well. About 30 minutes he was back to his old self. I don't know why the hell he snapped at me. Out of all the people there, I am like one of the only 4 people actually trying to do anything. The others are just laying around and playing with themselves. "Why don't you go yell at them! And stop yelling at people putting their all into what they're doing!" Needless to say, I was angry.
As the time started to get closer to the end, I started to lose it, I just couldn't go much harder. I was losing my balance and tiring out quicker than usual. I had to take rests between each practice of the form. As I was resting, one of the fake monks was teaching the big Italian Oaf some Zui Quan. Happy Sifu went to help out. And showed them it a bit differently, this caused the Oaf's gf or whatever to come over and be an English interpreter. Basically, he was confused why the fake monk was teaching him something slightly different than what Happy Sifu was showing him. Happy Sifu said that what the monk was showing him were the very basics of Zui Quan and what Happy Sifu was doing was adding in the acrobatics n stuff. The Oaf wanted the full form, but Happy Sifu was like, you need to learn the basics first... (and he totally needed to...) but he refused and wanted to learn everything and the interpreter was like, "Yeah, just show him and teach him the full form. Yeah that would be the best." And it was done with this fake pleasantry and I drew my face into one of disgust at the complete rudeness of it all. This guy couldn't even do a proper somersault let alone learn the acrobatics of Zui Quan in a couple days. I hope he is pain tomorrow.
I went over to Happy Sifu and mentioned it, he was like, Yeah, the jerks.
I then did another round of the staff form and at this point I had to stop for good, because I couldnt do anymore. I laid down under the fan to calm and cool down. I also thru cold water on my face, that helped. Happy Sifu said, "I wont stop with him until he is dead."
Before practice ended we had to do some ab crunches. Then class was done. I went back to my new room took a really quick cold shower. Josh's mom called and was inquiring about how his competition went so i told her what Sifu told me...Sifu just shook his head when I asked how Josh did. I told her that he would be back later on in the evening. Then I got some dinner. I had to put some more money on my meal card. The view from where I sat and ate was fantastic.
After dinner I came to the computer room and typed this thingy up. After the computer room I headed back to the room and pretty much crashed at 830pm. I didnt take an afternoon nap, so I am really friggin tired - i sound old/chinese. Good night all. I am still waiting to surprise Josh. Hi, Im your new roomate.

Posted by Phil at 01:58 PM | Permalink

Throughout the night, I didn't sleep well because there were a couple mosquitoes doing dive bomb raids on my head. I would hear a buzz and would start swatting. These suckers are persistent when they are after my sweet sweet blood....hmmmm.....bloooood.
Needless to say, when I woke up at 5AM i was really tired and didnt want to run but went anyway. As we were walking to the starting area, it started to rain. Aaaah thank you Mother Nature. The chinese don't like the rain, they are like witches when it rains, they melt. Plus, it was really cold out.
Thats what I find odd about this. I come to Shaolin in the hottest summer month expecting to get unbearable heat and i get chilly mornings and almost perfect days (the humidity kinda takes away, but its no problem) The only reason I say that is because the humidity makes it harder to see the mountains and landscapes. Its not very clear.
SO, i slept for another 2 hours and slept thru breakfast. I got to class at 8AM and trained hard. Not as sore as I have been but my hamstrings are still tired and tight and painful. Teacher had me instruct the Belgian on the Shaolin Staff Form that I have learned. It went well.
He then said he expects to see us at chinese lessons. And I am like...i don't want too. :(
After that, I had lunch time. Yummy. I was hungry. The food is so greasy here. The only thing not greasy and oily here is the few fruits they have and beverages. I am trying to eat healthy, but its kinda hard. Oh well.
I received an email from Fisher, one of the chiense guys I travelled with when I came to Shaolin. He just got back to Zhengzhou from Xi'an. He loved it. He climbed to the top of the mountain. TOok him like 9 hours. He can't move his legs today.
Awesome.
Thats one place I will miss out when I leave. That, Wudangshan, Tibet, and a few other interesting places. Oh well. I will come back then.
I fell asleep at lunch again. Almost slept thru practice. Afternoon practice got me a little more frustrated. The large group of Italians that have showed up have really messed up the equilibrium of class. They are hogging all the teachers. I am fine with there being alot of students, i think its great. But the Italians have come in and are like GIMME GIMME GIMME! Totally being rude to the other students that are interested in learning new things and more so to the teachers. My teacher is frustrated because they wont allow him to take any rests or eat time. They want him to teach them more forms and more and more and more! Their desire to learn is great, but when it starts to trouble others it needs to relax. I worked hard and got tired. One of the other teachers started teaching me Yin Yang Gun (yin yang stick). We got just over half done. I didn't get to practice at all on the rope dart because one of the italian kids was hogging it all day. And what made it more frustrating was that there was a performance monk there working with him on Rope Dart. I was like...I NEED THAT TOO! ;-)
After practice, my teacher, who's former English name used to be "Happy" but isn't now since he broke his foot, came to my room to hang out for a bit, smoke a cigarette and take a shower. He told me more of his problems with the new Italians. And just his frustration with having to be the leader of all the foreign teachers. He must decide everything. He said this time last year, he enjoyed it more because all the students worked more together as a unit. This year everyone is off doing their own thing.
That led me to ask why Andy (hybrid foreigner), Paige (310lb white dude), Heysian (ABC), and the little boy (ABC discovering his chinese roots with his grandfater) are really lazy and aren't scolded into working like the chinese are. When I said it, he got a pained look on his face and he let off some steam off. He was like, "they wanted to come here and practice and Heyasian's parents wanted me to be his teacher, but I had a broken foot that was in more pain before so I couldn't teach him much and so he worked with Wong Sifu. I have tried to get them to work, but they don't and I finally said fine, if you want to practice, practice, if you don't then don't. You know, my teacher who used to run this used to be really intense on conditioning but not so much on forms but the foreingers all wanted to learn forms and so when he left and i started, i started teaching more forms with the conditioning and when he came back to visit he yelled at me. I was like, they are paying for it..."
A little thing on Paige. When he got to Shaolin on July 4th, he weighed 360lbs. When I first met him on August 3rd, he was happy because he was now at 310lbs. !!!!!! WHOLLY CRAP! He lost 50lbs in 31 days! That is insane. Alot of people always say, thats the water weight. Whatever. I don't believe it was all water weight. He barely can do any of the exercises and he sits down alot of the time and does nothing. Heyasian and Andy both have learned forms and practice from time to time but they are both really lazy too. And their stances and form work leaves a lot to be desired. And I mean alot. They just dont seem to care. And then they try to tell me how to do things. I am like, just because you have been here longer than me doesnt mean you know more than me, Nitz.
Yeah, today, I was practice the new Yin Yang Staff form and I scolded Andy because he was laying splayed out in the middle of the practice area that I was using. I was like, "Dude, if you are gonna be lazy and not do anything do it where it doesn't get in my way." He was like, "But..but..i want to lay..." by that time I had pulled the mats that he was laying out from under him and put them by the wall. Then the teacher showing me the staff form (not Happy Sifu) yelled at him in Chinese and he moved off and laid with the other lazy folks. Seeing these guys not take advantage of the teaching and teachers here is really really really irritating.
Well, after Happy Sifu took a shower, I went and had some dinner. Afterwards I did some computer work and then went to bed. I couldn't sleep at all. I wasn't tired and i was frustrated with some things that had gone on during the day. And those friggin mosquitoes. I HATE THEM! goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:54 PM | Permalink

Woke up at 515am this morning for the mornign work out. The russians kept me awake last nite argueing about something. Thankfully they are going to Beijing today to pick up Rom's grandma and won't be back until Wednesday. By that time I should be moved to a different room.
Morning practice we ran to the Shaolin Temple and stretched out in front of it. Then as we walked back we did the warm up and wushu exercises. And some stance work. It was tough. My arms are pretty much dead from doing some zui quan on saturday. Also, i think a part of my groin or something is pulled. When I stretch the butterfly stretch, I feel a sharp pain in my left hip, not the dull soreness of sore muscles.
Had breakfast and chilled before mid-morning practice. Mid morning practice was good. The warm ups were hard with my muslces. I couldn't do cartwheels, the wheelbarrow race, or pushups. And I couldnt do the splits either today.
One of the teachers brought a rope dart so I started playing with it. Then they showed me about 5 little techniques. Its really cool. I like it. It doesn't seem to hard either.
After class was over had lunch and got some chinese news when I went to the computer room. I told Xiaohui, again for like the 5th time, about how Rom is going to get his Grandma and they would be back on wednesday. I told her that I need to be out of the room on tuesday. And she went, "Oh, but we don't have any rooms left."
Not Again.
I was like, "I told you last week about this. I have told you a bunch of times."
-I know but we had new...
"No, thats not what you should be saying. I told you about this early so you could make the arrangements. Paige has an extra space, cause the other Phil just left"
-A new student is with Paige and...
"Figure it out! This is unacceptable. I told you about it long ago and I am not sleeping with Rom's grandma."
ARGH!!
Then I typed up some stuff on the computer and chatted with some friends on AIM. It was nice. Then I went back to the room and vegged out by laying down and watching SPEED in Chinese. After that I had practice.
Warm up was hard due to the soreness and junk. I practiced alot of Rope Dart, finished off the staff form, and practice some form parts of Zui Quan. Zui Quan is tough. Very tough. The rope dart is actually pretty easy, but trying to kick it out from under you is kinda tough. Its fun though. Its nice to work on because there isn't alot of low stances or tough physical things. Its good to rest with.
Xiaohui showed up to visit with another person and i asked about the room situation and she "says" that she found one on the 6th floor. And I was like, does it have a working AC and a working shower? And she was all, "Don't worry, you will have hot water at 7pm."
Um.....no..... We got it squared away, maybe. Hopefully it will be ok. Who knows with China.
Practice went by quick this afternoon. I was tired though at the end.
Well, we got some new students today. Two older Italian guys with long hair and tatoos with their familys. They will be here until the 14th. My teacher asked if he could use my shower after practice. He said, "In 10 minutes." 20 minutes go by. Still not there. So I go to his door and knock on it.. "Sifu! Sssssiiiiiifffffuuuuuu!" No answer. So i went and got some dinner. I came back and he was still gone. By this time it was 7pm and I just got done with a nice warm shower and my teacher and his girlfriend came to get me for the talent show. I was like, "Dude! Where were you." He was like, "Sorry sorry sorry, I was very busy. Those Italian guys wouldn't shut up and kept asking me to teach them more forms after practice. He was like, 2003, then 2004, then the new 2005. (all forms created for each year) Aiya, so busy." He looked really annoyed. I know its good that they are asking for extra stuff, but you got to think of your teacher and his own time.
Other student..a guy from Belgium. He is here for 3 days to see if he likes it. If he does, he will stay 3 years. !!!!!!! WOW! He is 18 and just finished highschool. And for some reason he wants to study for 3 years. His parents seem fine with it. I think its kool but strange. Making a living with gong fu is hard, but whatever, I am sure his skills will be really good at the end of his trip. Too bad he is an evil Belgian like Dr. Evil. Though Dr. Evil wasn't really Belgian. He was adopted by evil Belgians.
I already told you about the two new englishmen. They are nice. They are here for 4 days and they were having major trouble with the stances so we were helping them out. See, thats how we do it. We share the love. Its like a ferris wheel, you pay your money, and you get to ride around. Its circular. Complete.
So, this evening I had my second Pretty Woman performance. It was good, but it wasn't as magical as the first. The first show had many more little kids who love that kind of thing. The older crowd still enjoyed it but didn't seem to go as wild. I just didnt' feel it. :D Maybe because I was used to them.
I got down in the crowd again and the guy that videotaped the show, who spoke english well, didn't really know how to hold a camera very steady or what to shoot. Oh well. It was fun. I got up there and played with the audience a bit. Got them cheering in sections and did the Hulkamania thing where you throw your hand up to your ear so you can hear them cheer. It was fun. I rocked the place hard despite the technical difficulties that existed. The crew didn't really know what they were doing and the microphone bugged out at the end. Aiya.
Well good nite.

Posted by Phil at 01:05 PM | Permalink

Well, lets see. I woke up for real around 815. I was sore and laying in bed. I stayed in bed for another 1 hour so, just laying there and trying to sleep but not really sleeping. I got out of bed and grabbed myself a shower. It was warm for a little bit, but the hot water gave way to cold water. damn. Too bad. After wards I washed my towel and a shirt by hand. Then I went to retrieve the clothes I took to get washed last nite. I just took the shorts because I needed them for the day. The rest of the stuff was still wet. I will leave it there until I get back from Dengfeng.
I grabbed some lunch. After I ate lunch, Rom and Jola took off to go do something and I got my junk together and headed out to Dengfeng. The ride into town was much better. I was on a nicer, cleaner bus and the views were much better. It was quite sunny today. I put on some suncreen I hope it helps.
I got into Dengfeng around 1230pm. I grabbed my fotos and went to delete those on my memory cards. When viewing the 1GB card, it seemed fine, the Error message disappeared. Sweet! Its fixed. I erased the other card as well. But I didn't erase the 1GB. As I walked all the way along ZhongYue DaJie (Zhong Yue Street), i was searching for the CITS information center that the Lonely Planet Guide mentioned to get some english speaking info. I couldn't find it. The address didn't exist. Well, it probably did but the book didn't tell you which part of Zhong yue to go on. The east or west. I walked a long way to find nothing. I got to what I think is near the center of town. It was a huge pavillion on the top of a hill that I don't know the name of. It was up a large flight of stairs. It was a very pretty view. The climb was very tiring. My body is still sore. I hope this doesn't make it worse!
Once I was at the top and got some great fotos of all of Dengfeng city I spotted the scenic location I was searching for... ZhongYue Miao. So, I walked down the steps and grabbed a box taxi this time. No more friggin walking. I was getting tired.
This is a Taoist temple area that during the Ming and Qing dynasties was remodled to look like the Forbidden City. Of course, not to the same granduer or throngs of people. The place was pretty vacant. Not many visitors. And there hasn't been much upkeep either which added to its charm. Grass was growing thru the cemet on some place and the place had the wear of X hundred years on it. Its like they have just been keeping it like it was but not allowing it to deteriorate anymore. It was very pretty. The people taking care of the place are the actual Taoist preists and monks that live there. I didn't see any Bagua or Taiji there though :D.
After I left that place, I grabbed the #2 Bus like Lonely Planet guide said back into the center of town. Now was the time to find Shi DeCheng's school along with visiting the other schools in town. On the bus, which only costed 0.5RMB, I met a frenchman who was studying at Fa Wong Si, a temple at the base of the Taishan mountain. He said it was about $400 US for a month, which seemed pretty good. However, he couldn't give me too much info because we didn't have any way to relate the rooms. He said the monks live there and train and the foreigners live seperately but sometimes practice with the monks. He really likes it. There are about 18 foreigners there. He said a taxi would cost about 20-50RMB, depending on who you get. I was like, oh, so its out a ways. I will check it out some other time, I wanted to go find Shi DeCheng first, the teacher of the monk that I met in Las Vegas.
We parted our ways and I started my trek. The only information I had was that it was somewhere on the north part of Songyang Road. Since none of the taxi people knew what I was talking about, I had to walk until I could spot it. Ha ha ha ha, that didn't work. I stopped by a couple places to ask for directions. The first was a sword shop that had a buttload of chinese swords and weapons that I hadn't seen before. It was nice. I talked with the shop people, mostly with the older shop owner guy, i think. They understood some of what I said and I understood some of what they said too. However, when I inquired the whereabouts of Shi DeCheng Gong Fu he Wushu Xue Xiao, he all of a sudden couldn't understand what I was saying. Hmmm... Most other people I dropped that name too knew what I was talking about but not necessarily knew the man. Could it be that there was some jealousy here and he tried to play it off. After chatting a bit more, I left and walked up the street more. I stopped off at a shop for some needed water. I inquired about the school and he knew what I was talking about right away. He was really nice. He was like, Yeah, its up the road about 500m on the right. I was like, sweet thanks.
I started on my way. I came across a Zoo of some sort or some big park. I kept on my way. I came upon a few buildings with a couple of kids in uniforms fooling around, but I thought nothing of it because I figured with the skill and clout that Shi DeCheng has, he would have a big school, and I saw no training areas. So, I continued on. I was searching all over the place. Passed a couple of regular schools and reached the end of the street. I asked a taxi guy and he said back that way. So when I reached the only school, a highschool, I could find, I inquired about the school and they told me to keep going north and turn left. Ok. So I headed out again. As I was walking the guy that had come out of the school said, "No Shi DeCheng here, go up the street and turn left" he was heading to his car, then he gave me a ride to a school.
I got out and asked a student of the school, and I even called Mountain for help with translation and they brought me into the school. All the chinese students and staff stared at me and stopped their practicing. I realized that this wasn't his school. The guy I talked to told me to keep going down the road. Then an italian guy spoke with me and told me to go back to the next road and turn right and go 300meters, its on the left.I didn't realize he meant to go back the way I came about 300meters, so I took the first right I came too which was totally the wrong way. I walked back and finally tried calling the fone number I had which was changed, but that led me to a wild goose chase to get the right number. I called them up and finally got the right place. I asked them where they were located and i found my way there and discovered that it was that first place that I passed but didn't look like a school.
I met Shi DeCheng and with the help of a Canadian from Montreal, who has come here about 4 years in a row for a month, I was able to speak with him about different things. He was real nice and alot different than i expected. I told them that if I could come it would be after the 13th. I looked at the prices, and damn, were they steep. If I stay at the school, it was $30US a day. I am paying about $20 here at Tagou. And in china, thats a big differece. I mean, I can see why, the entire group of people at his school is quite small. mean like 30 chinese and about 15 French and Canadians. And Shi DeCheng is well known for being very traditional and really good. It was interesting. I talked with Mark, the interpreter dude, and he said two years ago, Shi Xingwei, the Las Vegas monk, was a teacher at his school.
They were gonna practice at 5pm so I would stay to watch, but Shi DeCheng gave out little certificates out to the foreigners and chinese for about 30 minutes. So after that, I was like, I need to get back, I am busy tonite. (I was under the impression that I was still singing tonite).
It was getting late, and I decided not to check out the other schools. I might as well just stay at Tagou. Shi DeCheng is too expensive right now, but maybe in the future if I ever come back I will visit with him. He was very nice and it was great to meet him. I told him that I will prolly visit Shi Xingwei when I go to Las Vegas to see my friend Fred in November or something.
After that I grabbed a box taxi to the bus station where I grabbed a bus back to Shaolin. On the bus there were 3 kids who started talking to me and we had conversations in Chinese. I didn't understand everything, but when I didn't they talked slower and I kinda got the gist and I was able to answer most of the time, but when the older people on the bus talked to me, I didn't quite check it.
Also,on the bus, I met two other foreigners: Alfonso and Kirstell. Alfonso is from Mexico and has been travelling for the past couple years. Kristell is from New Brunswich, Canada and she is studying Marketing at a University in Thailand. Yeah, i know, go figure. When I think of Marketing, the first thing that comes to mind is Thailand... ;-) They met in Thailand about 8 months ago and have been dating since. She is on break so they have been travelling China and they are amazed with all the crap that goes with Chinese culture. They live in Thailand and they think the chinese are messed up. :D (Im not saying the Thais are bad people, by any means. I mean, some of my best friends are Thai) That being said they just couldn't believe the crap that goes on here in this country. We chatted a bit on the bus and then we got off the bus and they headed off with the kids. I stuck around the bus stop and took some panorama shots of Shaolin and Tagou.
On my way back to school, I ran into them and we chatted awhile before we went to dinner at the Tagou resturant. Man, talk about some of the worst service i have received in China. These people paid no attention, scolded us, refused to provide us with glasses (they gave us flimsy plastic cups) and tried to cheat us on the bill. Alfonso started to bust their balls because they were doing the same to us so he started ragging on them. Basically, the way I do when I want something to get done. Its the only way, I am telling you.
After dinner, they headed off to find a bus to Luoyang and I went to find sifu to ask about singing tonite. He was like, uh, not tonite, prolly tomorrow, Sorry. No problem.
I went upstairs to get my laundry and had a small chinese lesson with the laundry guy. The view from the roof of Tagou is absolutely gorgeous. I need to take some fotos from up here. Fantastic.
After that, I came to do this computer stuff and I chatted with a new student that will be here for 4 days. ANother englishman named Josh.
What is it with English people and the name of Josh...
After the computer room, i took a nice shower and headed to bed. Got early practice tomoorw. I hope I aint to sun burned. I put on 50SPF, but I don't know if it worked. Maybe its just the irritation from shaving this morning. Goodnite all. Oh the pictures on the CD turned out good and all thos on the 1GB worked.

Posted by Phil at 09:33 PM | Permalink

Got up at 510AM and headed down for morning practice. I was the only one today. So Wrong Sifu and I went out running then practice that form he showed me yesterday and he showed me more of it. Its very tough, there are lots of minor things.
After that, I grabbed some breakfast. Yesterday 130 Russians showed up for a 1 month Meditation class. Those guys got use of our training room so we had to go to the bigger, and I think much better training hall. Taller ceilings, more space, and a practice ring for people doing Xanda. As we were practicing, there were groups of students, maybe from the Tajou team sparring/competing/scrimaging with each other. Josh was studying it for his bout tomorrow. We did our normal kicking exercises and wushu steps and what not, then on to practice on our own what we have been studying.
After I did some things on my own, my teacher and I got some mats off the stack and laid 4 down. He wanted to teach me some basics of Zui Quan, Drunken Fist. Killer. Man, this stuff is super hard. He makes it look so easy. He is just flopping on the ground and stumbling over everywhere but its so complicated. The first move that he showed me was to do a somersault on the mat then use that momentum to jump up in the air horizontally and kick your legs out like a horse and do a punch then you must land by doing a variation of the worm and you have to make it look like you just fell indiscriminately on the ground. Then you try to get up a couple times. Its funky. And trying to do that landing is hard, I dont know how many times i did belly smackers. But I got it in the end of it, but I need to try it out some more in the later practice.
After doing those moves and trying other things I was really tired and we still had more time. I couldnt do the mat work anymore so I went off to do other things I had learned.
Something I have learned about this school in the past couple days, at least for the foreigners...
The teaching here is really good. Thats not a problem, but unlike how they treat the chinese, the teachers here don't make the foreigners practice. So its mostly up to you. You get out what you put in. I have seen it for a couple daze, but most of the foreigners goof around and sit around and chat. I find it a little disgusting. But the chinese teachers can't make them do anything. THe thought its, they already paid their exorbanant amount of money just so they could say they studied here so don't bother making them do anything. The teachers will teach you though whatever you want. Its nice. The relaxed atmosphere makes it a really kool place but also breeds laziness. The Zhengzhou Prison I was in early, it was schedual and it was set up for certain times, the only thing was, not as much practice and lack of regard for the skill level of students. I found out today that Taguo is having another talent show, its the same thing as the other night just for a different group of students, compeletly different audience. So I said I would do it and my teacher got excited.
I had some lunch and then hit up the computer again. Then I laid in bed listening to music and resting while watching The Fellowship of the Ring in Chinese. I wasn't listening to the movie, just watching it and filling in the words. Then we headed to practice.
And what a hard practice it was. My arms were like jello from doing zui quan in the morning that I couldnt even do 3 pushups. I was hella tired. My body wasn't as sore as it has been but it was tired and I could barely finish some of the things that we were training in. Hopefully I will be better on Monday. I ended the afternoon practice with 25 repititions of Shaolin Staff Form #1. We were let out about 5pm. Turns out that Saturday afternoon is an optional class. Go figure.
Then I took a nice long hot shower. I was happy to discover that now we have hot water all day long. Not because I asked for it, but because a group of 130 Russians have descended upon this school and its rooms to have a meditation retreat. They are using the training room we have been using. You know how much they paid just for the retreat here at Tagou? $2200 US. Thats right. Airfare not included. They paid that much money to sit on their ass and close their eyes and breathe. What a rip. Speaking of which, I would love to sneak into one of those sessions and just let rip an enormously loud gaseous full o' stench f-bomb. That would totally rule.
Now, I think thats why we had hot water all day today. Hopefully it will be on for the next month. I wont mention it to the office so they shut it off.
I then had some dinner and as I was coming back from being inside, I ran into a bunch of the group and they were going to a resturant to send off Jean Luc. Kicking. At first I said no since I already ate, but then Jean Luc came to get Jola and Rom and I was like, yeah, I will go. I grabbed some stuff to go meet them outside, and they were gone. Disappeared, vanished. I couldn't find them.
Oh well. I had wanted to go into Dengfeng anyway to get some pictures developed. So I went to hail a bus. The first bus guy told me to go over to a different area. Then, some chinese guy stole a foreign woman's silver plastic hair clip as she dropped it off the bus thru the open door. She was like, wait, i need my hair clip, and the chinese guy just jumped down and picked it up and she was like "oh thank you, sir" and then he started running away and she was like, "WTF are you doing! No come back! Whats he doing!" Simply amazing. Did this guy think this thing was worth anything? I mean, come on!
I grabbed a bus into Dengfeng. It was a kool ride. I saw alot of the scenery but I had to crank my head to do it. As we were going by schools I asked the guy next to me what the names were. There was a couple that I plan to visit tomorrow. Just to get a sense of what else is out there.
I got dropped off by the bus station and walked down the street a couple blocks until I came across a Kodak Express next to the Bank of China. Kool. I asked about transfering the pictures to CD via Mountain as an interpretter and it was a measley 10RMB. Cheapest I have found it for. She said I could get them tomorrow. I was like. What about now, she was like ok, at 8pm...it was 710 and I wanted to catch the last bus back before 8pm. SO Iwas like, I will come back tomorrow anyway so I left the cards there.
I went to go get the bus well before 8pm like the Lonely Planet Guide of China says, but there were no buses and the station was closing. Great. So I snagged a box taxi and got back to Tagou for 15rmb. Usually it costs 20RMB apparently. The scenery on the way back was far superior. I was able to have more of a view thru the openness of the box taxi. The mountains and river were beautiful.
I got back and bought some things and sent my laundry to get clean. No I am typing this up and I will go to bed. They just turned the lights out in the office. Oh, check this out...i may have a new opportunity when I get home....

http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,12589,1542984,00.html
US military sends scientists to film school

Jamie Wilson in Washington
Friday August 5, 2005
The Guardian

He will have the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger and the brain of Stephen Hawking. Step forward the Pentagon's perfect Hollywood hero, possibly coming soon to a screen near you.
According to the New York Times, the US military is paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to send scientists on a screenwriting course in Los Angeles, with the aim of producing movies and television shows that portray scientists in a flattering light.

Posted by Phil at 01:11 PM | Permalink

I tried to get a full 8 hours of sleep, but that didnt work. I woke around 3:33 (the same title as Green Jelly's second album) and I spent the next 1.5 hours in and out of sleep. I think like 2 misquitos kept attacking me. The only thing exposed was my head and I kept hearing them buzz by and I would start wacking away at my head, so I was lying in bed smacking my head for most of that time. I got up and ut of bed around 510AM for the early morning practice. I got out of bed and i could actually walk relatively well, not like yesterday where I was struggling. Today I could actually do it. I was also able to run.
The people at this morning practice was me, Wrong Sifu, and the young kid - an ABC who is visiting his culture with his grandfather. He is about 12 or 13. We didnt work as hard as the first morning practice i did, but I learned part of a new form. Neato.
Then i ate some breakfast and got ready for mid-morning practice. I had some time to kill so I laid down and watched Woody Wood Pecker in Chinese. That Rom kid, my 14 year old Russian roomate, is getting to be really friggin' annoying.
Practice was pretty good. I stretched out alot and that got rid of some soreness but I couldnt go full out yet. Still sore. Learned some staff form acrobatics. During practice I had to come back to my room. As I walked in I found that the AC's cover had been removed and work was being done on it. YES! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! I think thats a new record...3 days maybe. I kept coming to make sure the thing was still being fixed and nothing was missing from the room. The problem was the tube feeding the water or moisture to cool the air was ripped and water was spilling out. How hard was that to fix?
Then I had some lunch. I think the lady gave me too much. I couldn't waste it either. Then I did that internet thingy. Then I feel asleep for a couple hours.
I woke up and went to afternoon practice. I tried my best to do useful things in this class but it was tough. The tops of my thighs are still sore. But they were a different sore this afternoon. Before, it was sore and tight, now they are sore and loose...like jello. Its wierd...loose but still really friggin sore. I was slow most of the afternoon.
Josh, the english man who is really good, is training for a Xanda competition on Sunday. Two rounds of 2 minutes with a chinese guy from a different school that has been training for years while he has only trained in Xanda for about a couple months. He doesn't really want to do it because he doesnt really like Xanda, but his teacher thinks it will be good for him. He had a brief spar with one of the Tagou team members and got whooped. Understandable, I would have my ass handed to me. And I did this afternoon...
Anywho, he was training with Jola, the 34 year old Russian that I told you about. He isn't tall, but he is big and strong, not fat though. When he was 14 he was, mostly likely, in the Red Russian ROTC and jumped from a plane in a simulation of war. Thats what we celebrated the first nite I was hear. He is a really nice guy. Him and Josh were sparring and they were wailing away on each other but in a friendly way. Josh got really tired after awhile and started to lose it a bit. He was practicing hard all day and Jola just kept coming.
Then afterward they finished, Jean Luc and Rom sparred off a bit. Then, my teacher was like, just play around with Jola for a bit. He will protect and not punch too much. I was hesitant. But I tried it out and I got my ass whooped. I was really pissed off cause there was an accidental elbow to my temple and I stormed out of the room after throwing off my gloves. I wasn't mad at Jola at all, I was mostly pissed off at myself because I have pretty much wasted the past 4.5 years. I couldn't even protect myself from someone throwing wild punches. Whats the point now? (well, wasn't really wild punches, it was calculated fast punches and kicks...and...he was holding back)
After watching Charlie Brown in chinese and secluding myself, I had some dinner and chatted with a student from Guanxi province in English. His english is quite good. Then I came back in to send out some emails and type up this journal. Nothing more is really gonna happen tonite. I am gonna go back to the room, take a warm shower, throw some icy hot on my thighs and calves and try and fall asleep, that is if the russians aren't chatting overly loud. Goodnite.
Well, i did go do that, but I also did a couple other things...like laid down on my glasses and broke them into pieces.

Posted by Phil at 12:57 PM | Permalink

I tried to wake up for the 5AM class, but I couldn't get out of the bed. ARGH! So sore. So, i slept in till about 745 until i needed to get ready for morning class. I feel so sore, but I also feel good about it. I finally got that full body soreness on the 4th day when most people complain about it on the first or second day. The one problem is that I ran out of pain medicine. uh oh.
Morning class was tuff because I was sore and i couldnt do everything. So, i took it easy and tried to do everything everyone did, just easy. It took teacher a while to realize that I was too sore to go full out.
He then told us that a japanese tv station would be by to video and meet people and do some story. That will be interesting. They never showed up either. They were supposed to be in at 930AM, but never showed.
Practice ended and I grabbed some lunch. I spent msot of the time chatting with these 2 chinese boys about 8 or 9. In chinese. Good practice. Did some internet stuff and talked with Francesco and Enrico a bit before they headed out. We found out that the chinese kids here pay about 2000RMB just for training and accomodation/year. But the thing is, they sleep in rooms of 6-8 kids and dont have showers or pretty much anything we get. Went back to my room, took a quick morning shower, too bad it was a cold one. This place is so tight fisted with their funds, they only allow hot water between 7 and 10pm. I am sorry, but that is so retarded. I mean, cold water on sore muscles is not a good idea. Aftewards, I laid down.
After sleeping for about an hour, i headed to afternoon classes. Still sore. I tried to work thru it, there were times that I had to sit out and rest the legs though. Most of the classes this afternoon were good, I just wish I wasn't sore so I could get more out of them. I know my flexibility is gonna be better by the time i leave Shaolin. The last thing i had to do was 20 repititions of a staff form, but I did i think 22 for good measure because i lost count a couple times. Then I had to do some ab exercises at the end of class and I could barely lift my legs.
After class, I ate dinner while sitting on a ledge watching the little kids hopping around and doing some Chang Quan. It was adorable and they were all waving to me. I hope I dont' get into trouble for causing disruptions.
After dinner, I checked my email and ragged on Xiaohui about the AC. I pretty much waited for the time I could take a hot shower. Then I went to bed. Talk to you tomorrow.

Posted by Phil at 02:05 PM | Permalink

I woke up at about 445AM to get ready for the early morning practice at 5am. I dont think I fell asleep until about 1230AM because of my roomate and his paranoia of dying because he had a little wine.
Morning practice was tough. Running around some of the sight seeing area and practicing some things outside...with such a wonderful view. It was hard, but it was awesome all at the same time. As other groups of chinese were running by, i would catch some stares.
After that, I grabbed some breakfast and a shower. Then I had mid-morning practice at 8am where we worked on stretching out and kicks and junk and weapons practice. It was really kool seeing everyone working on their own things. You got a couple guys working on chain whip, another on saber, another on taiji sword, a couple on staff, etc. Really neat.
These teachers are terrific. They have bridged the gap with the students and everyone is treated like a friend. Its a really nice thing to see. The teacher that I worked with in the morning was not who i worked with in the afternoon. The teacher taht I worked with in the morning, his name is Sifu Wong. But, he always says, "WRONG!" when a student doesn't get something right for the 30th time. So some of the people call him Sifu/Master Wrong. Just little playful stuff like that that makes this place seem so much better. That and the view and the practice.
My teacher showed me WuBu Quan which is 5-stance fist. Its pretty much like Chang Quan 1 that Guo Sifu taught me. Except there are slight variations and sometimes I would throw the wrong thing in there. Also, during some acrobatic stuff, I popped a vein in my right hand, right in the crease between your thumb and fore-finger.
There is another student named Phil here too. He's from New York City.
All the other students seem nice as well.
As mid-morning class was ending and we were showing our teacher our progress, our teacher's girlfriend showed up and was asking us foreigners if anyone could sing. I was like, yeah, and she wanted me to come sing for them. Basically it was an audition for a bigger talent performance later that night. It took me about 20 minutes just to figure out what was going on. The other Phil came just to watch, but left before i sang my tune. On our way to the singing room at the top of the stairs, teacher's girlfriend kept buggin him as he was talking to us about what was going on and he just reeled on her, his eyes squinted, it looked like his face changed color, and his ears grew, he said something very sharp, and she had this look of fear come across her face and she backed away and stood against the wall in a sullen mood. It was freaky. Both Phil and I were like...what the heck just happened?
We got to the small room. Only about 30 kids in there and they were waiting for me to sing a song. They were like, here's a guitar. It was a classical guitar whose strings were completely destroyed. I was like, you said you had Karaoke for me. So they searched for music that had english songs on it. I knew it was gonna be 1 of 3 they would definitely find..Auld Lang Syn, My Heart Will Go On, Right Here Waiting for You. Sure enuff, it was. I chose Right Here becuase I only really know the words of the chorus to that.
It was some chinese musician sing it live and trying to be all into it. I dont know why the chinese love this song so much. Its so lame. But it is a ballad and chinese people don't like listening to pop music that isn't lame. Getting them to set up the microphone or find the song was funny too because they kept turning it off right when it was about to start for me singing.
I totally tore the place up like a high school kegger, yo. I worked the crowd really well. I started singing straight to this one woman who got all embarassed. It was awesome. All the little kids wanted to slap my hands and touch me. It was funny. Very enjoyable. The kids alos loved it too when I started singing to one of the older boy students. He was trying to get away from me but I cornered him. Good times. My teacher couldn't hide his joy. They all thanked me and I headed to lunch.
Food was good. I sat down and just looked out onto the mountain and the throngs of tourists walking down the street. Then I did some journal writing and went into that little tourist center for Shaolin Si and looked to see if I could find anyplace that puts fotos onto a CD from a memory card. Nope. Looks as though I may need to do it in Dengfeng. Bummer yo. I saw Xiaohui again and pestered her for the 2nd time about fixing the AC. Apparently, this school doesn't really fix things when they are told about it. Frustrating, but I found, thru time with BOND, if you get on their ass everyday, thats the only way to get anything done. Another thing I found out was that hot shower water is only given from 7pm - 11pm or something like that. Thats more than what the common chinese folk that attend the school who live in rooms filled with about 8kids. I see them washing themselves outside their rooms with the water bins. But, I am also paying much more than they are paying as well. So, those issues should be taken care of.
I got ready for practice at 3pm. I found out when I got to pracitce that the school was putting on a big talent performance around 8pm tonite and they chose me to sing a song. I was like, I will only do it if you get the office to fix the AC. THat didn't work. So I chose a song from a couple disks they had their room. I decided on Pretty Woman. It was the one I knew the most by heart, but I wanted to write out the words just to be safe. So I did that then I started practice. Practice was really good. I learned some new staff work and practiced some of the forms and worked more on kicks and stretching as well. Fun stuff. They are really pushing me to the limits here. Which is good and what I wanted. I learned some flashy rockstar stuff.
After practice was done, I got some dinner. A dog came by and looked super hungry so I gave him my chicken bone and tried to give hime some bread, but he wouldnt have the bread. After that, I showered and got ready for my singing performance.
There were about 25 acts and I was number 15. THe thing started at 730pm. Mostly it was singing acts and every once in a while a dancing group or a little skit. There was one skit right after i got done that made me laugh my butt off. Not because the skit was funny, but because a little 8 year old boy was dressed up like a hip 20-something triad member holding a burning cigarette. It ruled. By the time I turned on my camera he had gotten rid of it. Phooey.
So I was walking around and practicing my words before I got on stage.
Then the time came and the announcer, the girlfriend of my teacher, was like...."chinese chinese chinese PHIL chinese chines chinese Pretty Woman" then as I walked on stage, the entire crowd...well over 1000 kids started cheering. Really loud. It was awesome. I was like, I didnt even do anything. So I spoke to the crowd breifly and then sang the songs. THe kids loved it. They were cheering and shrieking like it was Beatle-mania. During the first major change in the song, when Roy sings, "PW Stop a while..PW Talk a while..PW Give your smile to me" i hopped down and started to work the crowd. I sang to individual adults which embarrassed the crap out of them but also drew the best laughs and cheers. I also walked thru the kids as I sang and they were going nuts. They were touching me and holding out their hands and I was shaking them. It was like being a rockstar at your own concert and going out and touching hands. I can understand why musicians love it...it soo much fun. It was really goofy too. I started to get lost from the music so I ran back on stage nad sang the finally notes, but I was off by 1 measure. So it looked pretty funny when I did it twice. The crowd was cheering. Totally sweet. Afterwords, I got offstage and teacher was bouncing around like..He's my student! A couple italian guys that are just staying the night, I met this afternoon, they came over and chatted with me. Francesco and Enrico and another guy from Portugal that they had met just today as well. They are some pretty cool fellas.
I was like, ok...now, time for a hot shower and sleep. Then teacher said his girlfriend will sing soon so i must video tape it. I was like kool. As she was about to start, teacher gave me, Josh (another laowei), and a French born chinese guy Jean Luc (thats right!) some flowers to give her all at once. So we triangulated, equilaterally, on her singing, basically i came from stage right, Josh from stage left and Jean Luc from back stage. It was quite humorous. Master Wrong was doing the video work with my camera...he is also the guy that did the camera work when I sang.
Her performance was pretty good.
After her's was done, I was like..time for bed. I went back, took a hot shower and fell asleep.
Man, today was awesome. It was such a great day. I am so happy i dropped that other school and came here. The location, the teachers, the activites, oh, its great. I just hope it stays this good while I am here.
Ok, im outtie.

Posted by Phil at 01:12 PM | Permalink

We woke up about 530 and when I got out of bed, my feet were sore, but that was pretty much it. Awesome. Neither of us slept well.
Morning practice was just stretching and then off to breakfast. So counter productive. During breakfast, I had some noodles and found a dead maggot/worm in there. Great. Its China, that thing happens everywhere, but it made me lose my appetite. At least it was dead.
After breakfast we had to meet sifu because he was giving us uniforms. Crap, I need to tell him now, they hadnt taken the passports to town yet either. So, after I got my uniform and he took us to get some thermos for hot water, I was nervous cause I didn't want to be a jerk, but I also didn't want many people around. I never pulled that off. We were in the shop when I told him that I just didnt feel comfortable. He seemed angry. He was like, Ok, give the stuff back. You will lose some money, basically, the bs 200 for the pick up at the airport. YOu gots to cut your losses somewhere. He walked away with the other sifus. I headed back with Chris and then Xanda sifu came to our room right after we arrived and he told me to get my stuff and go. He was like..."Hurry up, can you do this any quicker." I was like..."Listen Dick, I am going as quick as I can." He gave me back my money and he walked me to the road and I got a taxi. I said goodbye to Shi Yan Lin. I got into a taxi around 8AM and headed for the bus station. As I left, I started to think back and I really think that Shi Yan Lin never received my emails. The Xanda Sifu prolly looked it over and thats why Shi Yan Lin seemed obvious to my plan.
Great communication skills there, mailbox head (xanda sifu).
I got to the train station and looked around for the Iveco Mini-Bus Bus station. I found it and went to one bus sitting in between the bus station and the train station. I asked how much, and all they could keep saying was, "Hi, hello, do you want to study Chinese gong fu. Gong Fu is very good. Chinese gong fu. Hao!" I was like, yeah, I want to study, how much for a ride to the SHaolin Si...they were like, 260RMB, I just turned and walked away. Didnt say anything.
Got a ticket for a bus that takes a slight tour of the scenic spots around Dengfeng. Only cost 22RMB. I got on the bus that was schedualed to leave for 9am and it didn't leave until 930AM. And what was on the VCD player..and playing over and over again? Jet Li's "Shaolin Temple". Ugh, two times in a row is long enuff. This bus station was quite crowded with bus. There was always one coming and leaving.
We finally left at about 930. The bus was packed. Some of the views of Henan rural area along the highway was nice, but pretty much nothing but farm land. Along the way there were a few places where there was a gong fu character as a statue in the middle of nowhere. It was kinda goofy.
We arrived in Dengfeng and I was suprised we were there so early. It was only 2 hours and the people and books I read said about 2.5 hours. Interesting. The first stop we made was at the Songyuan Academy. A very old Taoist study place. In it there is a 4500 year old cypress tree. Its friggin huge!
It was here that I met two guys from my bus group. They both spoke very good english. We chatted and took fotos. My camera gave me that friggin' Memory card error again. Crap..on the 1GB card. SOmething is wrong with this camera. I am worried that the fotos I took on this may be lost. But I don't know because I was able to view them. I just couldn't take pictures.
I popped in my older card and it worked fine. Go figure. I was hoping that it wouldn't cut out either. I was carrying my big back pack and all my stuff at this time. I was soooo tired from it. It gets real heavy after awhile while going in and out of your little side bag for camera stuff.
After this place we went to Taiyong Nunnery temple. I didn't go in, you see one Buddhist temple,you pretty much see them all. Its cool though still. I just took pictures outside of the place and chatted with the english speakers. I had told them I was interested in gong fu and one of them, Fisher (because his last name Yu is pronounced the same way as fish in Chinese is). He was a big fan of the NBA, he was wearing Denis Rodman's jersey. Eric was the other one. They didnt believe that foreigners could learn gong fu in the schools unless they stay for a very long time. I told them they can. No one seems to listen to me when I say that i have studied gong fu for 4years and 8 months. I don't know why. I found a couple of the schools I was interested in on the map that I had bought at Songyuan. We finally arrived at the Shaolin era.
We left our big bags in a shop that allows visitors to keep their heavy things safe. I made sure I took my money with me though. Just in case.
We walked towards the temple. On the way we saw Tagou Institute. No one was practicing, it must be lunch time. We then stopped off at the Wushu Center where there were performances. I actually thought the performance was kinda lame. There were only a couple cools thigns that I hadnt seen there. Like the throwing of a pin thru a piece of glass to break a balloon and a guy be raised up on the end of spear tips. They should sharpen those blades and see if they can still do it.
After that, we walked to the Shaolin Temple. It was kool to see. It was alot of fun, but to be truthful, it was just like every other temple i have seen in China. Nothing really spectaculer. However, there were a few things in the Temple that had been given to them buy famous kings in the past and stuff. Some really great historical things.
Took lots of pictures. I saw the floor that had indentations in it because allegedly, thats where the monks used to practice a certain form for a long time.
And of course, I had to do Taiji somewhere in the Shaolin temple, so I did. Eric and Fisher were cracking up. So was I. A monk came to watch as well. Funny stuff.
We left and headed over to the Pagoda forest. This place was really cool. This is where famous or special monks received burial. I saw the newest one for the most recently deceased abbot I think and on it he had things inscribed that showed what was happening in his time. On it were the words, "Never get left behind" or something like that...referring to modernization and changing times. Pictures of a plane, computer, car, cellfone, and a couple other things that I forget were carved in it.
After the Pagoda forest, we headed to Tagou Institute.They were offering to help me talk with the people there. These guys were wonderful. Had lots of fun with them.
Man, the Tagou school, its cool. Its got 7000 students enrolled. As we were walking up to it, we saw the students all wearing red uniforms practicing out in the field. It was awesome. We went up the steps and found the right office. I met with Wang Xiaohui who I talked to via email and they showed me the rooms for foreigners. The rooms are friggin 3-4 star hotel rooms. I was totally suprised. But, however, since its CHina, there is a catch. I also went to where the foreigners practice.
I walked back with Xiaohui and the boys to get my bag and I said goodbye to them and told htem I would email them soon.
I then walked back with Xiaohui and she took me to pay. I just paid for 10 days, just to be cautious, wanted to see what its like. I really dont mind paying the extra money, because the location...is amazing, like1000m from Shaolin, and the teachers for foreigners seemed really nice and wanted to see what I knew. I showed them some stuff and they seemed slightly impressed but the only thing that got to me is when they said my stances are bad. I was like...dude, I agree, they need some fine tuning, but they arent bad, there better than most of the other people in this room practicing right now. Whatever. But they were wondeful and i am excited to start practice with them.
The room I was put in was shared with a 14 year old russian kid. And, it was not quite to the same par as the one they showed me. This one had all the same stuff but was a little run down. So chinese. That one they showed me must be the viewing room.
It turns out that the AC in our room, when it is turned on, leaks a lot of water onto the floor. AWESOME! So chinese!
I had dinner. Have to pay for that too. As well as this internet connection, cost 4rmb/hour. This place is really only interested in Money, but I will give the training a chance. And, its almost worth it for the location. Gorgeous views. The mountain is across the way wonderful.
After dinner, I typed up some journal entries and some emails. I then celebrated with the two russian fellas, since they both hang out in the room alot. APparently today is a national russian day of celebrating some sort of war...or re-enactment of war. So, the older one, Jola, went to Dengfeng and got a roast chicken like the ones from Boston Market in Michigan, and some wine. We ate chicken and wine. Jola was giving wine to my roomate, so I figured it was a russian thing. I mean...they drink vodka instead of water. Its their essence. "Listen, Capt. Bat Gwano, if that really is your name..."
I chatted with them and the red wine was great and so was the chicken. I haven't had chicken this good since i left the US. great.
Well, then we went to bed, and my roomate started freaking out because he got a little sick from the wine and was worried he was gonna die because his heart was pumping fast. Aiya. I was up to about 1200 trying to keep him calm and stuff. Tomorrow moring , I am gonna be friggin tired.

Posted by Phil at 01:40 PM | Permalink

I woke up at 530AM for 600AM practice. We got to the training hall next door and I told Sifu Yin Lan that I will pay for the month and just try it out. He seemed happy to hear that. All we did was stretching and a bit of running. Then, they were like...ok...go eat breakfast and rest for 2 hours. WTF!? Stretching out and resting for 2 hours is totally stupid. I was also in the beginners class as well. I just started getting a negative feeling like that this wasnt what I wanted and that I havent had a chance to do what I wanted which was travel around and train. Plus, i hated the idea of not leaving the school. The place looked like a prison almost. Sure, I want to train hard, and maybe if I wanted to stay a long time, that place may be the best bet, but I also want to travel around when I have free time, I mean, this was also my prolly only time studying with Shaolin Monks in Shaolin or this area. The training is pretty much the same...but the rest isnt.
After breakfast, I got online and talked with the Tagou school about some things.
Then mid mornign class started and it was Taiji. Oh great. SOmething I don't want to learn. And it really gets me irritated when people say that Chen is better than Yang because thats the whole point of taiji..to not use lots of power. They still refused to realize that I could prolly join the advance group, but they still stuck me with the beginners and I was super bored with what he was giving because after about a couple tries, I would have it and it just dragged on. I found myself watching the other students in the higher class and I started doing the form on my own in the corner. BAM! In your face.
Lunch was pretty much the same. Alot of nothing. I found out that I would be getting a roomate later in the day. Neato. After lunch I payed my money and I just made sure I would get it back if I left after 3 days and then Xanda Sifu was like, well, tomorrow you would have to leave..cause it would be 3...and I was like...technically its only 2 days. I would have to leave after 3 nights for the to be true. What a turd.
After noon practice was more of the same b.s. that i dealt with in the morning. It was still a good work out but it really didnt do anything for me.
I asked the Shi Yan Lin if I could do more and he just nodded and said yes but made no effort. During afternoon practice the new student Christopher from Denmark showed up. He watched. After that afternoon class was done, Sifu took our passports to get copies made. I was still thinking about leaving, but still needed to check things out. I showed Chris around and told him some advice just to be safer. I told him that I was thinkin of leaving. And I tried to explain it the best I could. I just didn't feel right and I felt I needed to see something else before I made a decision.
That evening, before bed, I told Dominic about my feelings for leaving and he said it would be alright. There are no problems with it. So, I figured I would leave tomorrow after morning practice. Then while doing some computer stuff on the computer that crashes randomly or just shuts off, we watched "I, Robot". What a load of crap that was. I could see the hollywood cookie cutter formula for the movie all the way thru.
We went to bed and I chatted with Chris about lots of stuff. He's a cool guy. Well, goodnite all.

Posted by Phil at 01:10 PM | Permalink

Woke up at 4AM, was waiting for the taxi at 445am. The guy showed up and took me around town, then stopped and switched drives with the usual guy. I was slightly confused. I got to the airport about 630am. Waited around for the flight. It was a puddle jumper. A little bus took us out onto the tarmac and we boarded the plane out there.
Flight was uneventful.
Got to Zhengzhou and there was a guy to pick me up. It was weird, we spoke some in Chinese and he understood all what I said. IT WAS AMAZING! A whole new world had opened up to me. Soooooo kool!
So we took the school van to the school. This is the school who's headmaster who's son has been in a bunch of HK films. I have a couple too not realizing it until today.
The place is really dirty. Obviously its China. But I mean...I dont know. I did expected it to be like this. Maybe not so ghetto, but still China dirty. Whatever. I met a few foreigners and the foreign team leader, Dominic. He has been here for about 7 months. He studied karate before he came to China and he really likes the wushu. Even after just 7 months, his skill must be quite good. The few foreigners I have chatted with really seem to like this place. I have noticed something, none of the foreigners in the school have ever studied gong fu before at all. They are all true beginners. Most of them come from Germany and they all found out about this place thru the website. None of them bothered to check out Dengfeng or the Shaolin Temple before coming here. So, they didnt really give me much information that I could really use. Nevertheless, they were all really nice and great people. Very kind.
Around this time, the Xanda Sifu (the guy that picked me up) asked me what I wanted to do, and I told him my plan, well, after a few hours here looking at the school I plan to go to see the Shaolin temple and Dengfeng city. He was like, "Why? Why leave and go see it now, we are going this sunday." I was like, yeah, I know, but I wanted to go today so I could check it out and sight see a bit before I decided on schools. He was like, "No, no, you should stay the night and go tomorrow see this school." As well, John and Peter both said that my plan of going to the Zhengzhou school and then to Shaolin seemed a bit too much and I thought they could be right and this guy kinda confirmed that. So i decided to sleep over and check out morning exercises then go. Little did I know that, like most Chinese, they had other ideas. I should have stuck with my plan because they sure made a mess of things.
I had lunch with Xanda Sifu. He seemed nice and he has taught himself some english. He is pretty good.
After lunch, I walked around a bit and met the other two foreigner instructors. Taiji Sifu and Wushu Sifu. Then he took me to the computer room where they started watching some Xiao Long movies (the headmaster's son). During that afternoon break that the chinese take, I had lots of time on my hands. I was actually quite bored and tired. :(
It was at this point when I was talking to a guy from New Zealand that I found out about the permission slips. You needed special permission to leave the school grounds. And the only times that you could leave the school grounds was on thrusday afternoon, saturday night, or all of Sunday. And you would always have to be home by 10pm on Saturday or Sunday. This really got to me. The boredom that I felt turned into a prison feeling, like i was stuck here and had no freedom. What made it worse is that this school is pretty much in the middle of no where. Its about 30 minutes from the airport and takes about 15-20 minutes to get into Zhengzhou proper. So together with the 2 hour morning break and the 4 hour afternoon break...i could see myself getting really frustrated. I would have all this time on my hands with nothing to do. If that website had mentioned this stuff, I wouldn't have even bothered coming here.
I went into the room that I was going to be spending the night in. I passed out for about 3 hours. I was really tired. Then, i got up and met more people for dinner. Dinner was good and I chatted with more people have been here longer. They all liked it but none of them have ever trained before and this was the only school they had come to so their was nothing I could relate it too.
After dinner, I hung around doing nothing really, until the evening meeting at 8pm. I was placed in the beginners group right away and I had an initial feeling of, "this isnt gonna go well...." But, I decided to give it a chance. Then it got kind of wierd. I met with the Head teacher, Shi Yan Lin. His english was quite good, maybe thats why he does well with foreigners.
He and Dominic took me around some of the grounds and then too the Buddha room where they wanted me to pray to Buddha. I was like, "What is this for Dominic?" Oh, its just to pray for good luck with the new student. I put the 3 insence sticks in the thing, but I was kinda a pissed that he wanted me to do this in the first place, but I decided not to make him lose face. The commandment, "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" only matters if you believe in other gods. And since I don't believe in Buddhism...it doesnt' really matter. After that wierdness, we went back to my room where they laid out the schedual of practice. And I didn't quite understand why they were doing this when i told them that I wanted to go see the temple and check out Dengfeng... There was lots in the schedual that got to me. Mandatory chinese lessons, not much gong fu practice, (the website said 6-8 hours) on the schedual, when added together, it totalled less than 6 hours. I told them I wanted to go see Shi De Cheng (Shi Xingwei - the Las Vegas monk's teacher). He is in Dengfeng. I then asked the price again of how much to stay for one night. This is when the shit really started to hit the fan.
About 15 minutes later, Xanda Sifu came to my room to tell me the price and this was also the start of somewhat bad blood between the two of us and my disrespect towards him. You are supposed to respect your teachers and school in China, but when they disrespect you, its hard to respect them back. He came back and said the price for just one night was 500RMB. I was like, WTF! What they hell are you counting. He was like, "The van to the airport and back was 200 RMB and the price for the room for tonite and food is 300RMB." I was livid. Very pissed off. I am like, what the hell are you trying to pull! First of all, sifu said via email picking me up from the airport was no problem and when I asked about the price for pick, the only response I got was was, "Yes". Then I was like, accomodation + training costs only 100RMB/day. How is it that its costing me 300RMB. I was angry and after a while, he was like...OK...ok...you pay 400RMB and I will pay the other 100RMB. I was like, no..you dont have to pay it, it shouldnt be that much. He was like, "thats what the office said..." aaaaaaaaah, i see it now. Chinese culture is the same all over the country, you will try to save face and pass blame off on others. After awhile, I thought that maybe if I tried studying here, I would save more money, and I got him to say, "You can pay for 2 weeks and if you don't like it, you can leave." Besides, I wanted to see what practice was like. Already...there was a bad start.
About 10 minutes later, Dominic and Xanda Sifu came in and Dominic said that i couldn't pay for 2 weeks and then he said the price for the night would be 300 for the pick up and room. Thats the point where I lost all respect for this Xanda Sifu. Any respect I showed him after was to save face. What a jackass. Then Dominic said people can pay and if they don't like the training they can leave after 3 days and they only have to pay for those three days. That sounds good. So, I said I would sleep on it and tell them in the morning.
I was really pissed off and I could barely sleep that night because of it. Goodnite all.

Posted by Phil at 02:21 PM | Permalink

Woke up around 8am and did a bunch of remaining packing and stuff. Washing bed sheets and other things. Unfortunately it poured rain last nite and it did so alot in the morning while I was trying to dry some needed clothes. Great. I packed up my other big suitcase and harddrives and such, i took those over to Yumi's around 1030 and then i went to Normata to get my digital camera stuff. I got the junk and tried it out. I can shoot 888 Large, photos with this new memory card. AWESOME! As I was testing it out and waiting on the new battery to get some charge, they "Memory Card Error" showed up again.
Blasted. John, Violet's dad, and I looked at it and check for anything out of place. Everything seemed fine. We were able to look into the memory card slot and checked the pins. All fine. John took some electrical equipment detergent and sprayed it in the battery and card slots. I waited a few moments and then slipped the stuff back into the camera. It still didn't fix it. We looked at it again, and then I put them back in and it worked fine. Apparently the detergent wasn't finished doing its job. However, sometimes this stuff happens randomly and goes away randomly. I don't know if its fixed. I have been checking it regularly to see if the error pops up again, but it hasn't happened yet. Cross your fingers...
I went and got some lunch after that.
Love or hate Pop-Punk music, and I am not that big a fan of it, but man...its so nice to hear it among all this other crappy chinese music. As I was leaving Normata there was a little band playing some songs in the main entrance area. Neato. It was refreshing to see people actually play music instead of do Karaoke.
As I was eating, Owen called me and said that I needed to pay my internet/water/electricity bill. I was like, "DAMNIT! I thought I was gonna get away before they realized I didn't pay my bills." I went to the office after eating and chatted with Owen. He was filling out the form and I am like, "How much do I owe" he was like 150rmb, and I was like, "Owen, you're busting my balls, buddy. Whats with this?....Busting my balls, man. Busting my balls." He had never heard this phrase before and he asked what I was saying. So I taught him what it meant. And he laughed. I told him, "You know, when Gary comes to the office and does nothing but play with himself and says, 'Owen, go to the big House, then buy some stuff for the office, then take this to the new school, and then register 40 kids for a summer camp by yourself while I sit in here and do nothing...." you say... 'Stop busting my balls, Gary!'" Owen understood after that. He was laughing too. Then Wing came into the office and I got her to say "Bust my balls." It was great. Cause Owen was laughing at the fact that she was referring to something she doesn't have and then I told her what the phrase means, 'to stop commanding things/asking to many things of me'. She understood, then I told her what it was and she got a case of the giggles.
I headed home. Owen called me about 20 minutes later saying that Boss John got angry with him because Owen gave me the house deposit already. And so Owen asked for it back until I leave the house. And I was like, Dude...I am leaving in like 2-4 hours. I am cleaning the place up. He was like...oh...so....i need the key. I was like, yeah. So come on over when you want. I will clean this place up and then meet you.
I cleaned up the room with sweeping, vacuuming and mopping. I am good at this. I got all my shaolin stuff packed up and everything. Just needed to pakc up the cmputer as well. I needed to take a pot and my lion heads to Yumi's as well. I also needed to get my bicycle tires fixed and take that to Yumi's. I will give that to the students at Lion Dance.
As I was taking the pots and some other things to Yumi's, I had my bag that I was carrying all my clothes and stuff for Shaolin with me and i was taking that. As I was walking down the street, the strap broke and the bag ripped a bit too. Great quality can be found here. I wasn't that angry. So, I took that stuff to Yumi's, then took that bag with my stuff to another bag store and bought a big travel backpack. Its nice. I brought that home and moved everything into it. Just barely fit.
I then went to take the other bag back to the store but they wouldn't give my money back so I needed to replace it with something and they wanted me to take another bag, I was like, "Hellz no!" I looked for a money belt but couldn't find one. The thing I bought last nite was a small inconspicuous fanny pack.
What made my moving out more frustrating is that Owen was sitting in the living room waiting for me to finish so he can take the key back to the office. I am like, DUDE! You're busting my balls. Go back to the office, I will call you when I am done and return the key too you. Cause that would make sense. IS that what happened? Nope. He just sat there watching TV while I was taking care of my business. I told him it would take time. Oh well.
I took my remaining things to Yumi's at about 5pm and then came back to get my bike fixed. As I was going to Yumi's, it started raining and as soon as I left her place to go get my bike, the sun came out. It was pretty. I grabbed the bike and Owen went with me to get it fixed. When it was done, I gave him the keys and we took off. On my way to Yumi's it started raining again. AIYA!
While at Yumi's,i realized that i forgot two tshirts, so I had to take a taxi back while I ran some errands to get some travel soap and contacts.
After that I met up with John and Peter at the Guangdong resturant. Good food. It was nice. Got a little tipsy. Then We went to the beer gardens where we met up with a bunch of the other folks for Ash's send off. It was relaxing and lots of fun. I was in rare form..really loopy. I headed out about 1145pm. Ok, well, its late, and I leave tomorrow morning for the airport at 5AM. Flight leaves at 820AM.

Posted by Phil at 11:32 AM | Permalink

Yes, finally! Last day of teaching!!!! WHERD UP! TAKE THAT, SUCKA!!! Technically, my contract finishes up on August 14th, but my contract states that I have 2 weeks unpaid vacation, which I am using for my Shaolin trip. I got weekends off as well, so..... I AM DONE WITH BOND.
I taught my last class this afternoon! It was great, however, the teaching of the class...i didn't feel very good in it. I had a sickling feeling...nothing bad...just a slightly knot. Maybe it was because of the last class. After it was over, I told John it doesn't feel like I am done.
In the morning, I went over to Normata to see about maybe getting some new stuff for my camera. A new battery and a 1GB memory card. My camera has been giving me these "Memory Card" and "Replace Battery Pack" errors sometimes. Even when the battery is fully charged, I have had it say, "Replace battery pack". I don't know if these issues stem from the age of the battery or the memory card or the camera itself. Hopefully these new items will fix it. I ordered them and they will be in tomorrow at 10AM. sweet.
Afterwards I hit up the gym and had lunch. I got ready for class. Class was...eh. We went over the last speech about Food. We said some basic things. "China has many kinds of food.." "My favourite is..." "We also eat Western food..."
The chinese food we listed was all this good stuff. Then we went on and put Western food up and what did they shout out and think of when they thought of western food? KFC, McDonald's, hamburgers, ice cream, french fries, and coke. Why all the unhealthy stuff? John and I try to have fun when we do this stuff and I tried to convince him to let me put up "Freedom Fries" instead of "french fries" as a joke. He wouldnt let me. But we did get up there this little nugget of joy... "If it is alive, we will eat it." I wanted to put up "We will eat anything with four legs thats not a table." or " We will eat anything with its back to the sun." Those are the sayings northerners have for the Guangdong folk...they will eat anything and everything.
There is a boy in the class that is very naughty and is only there because his parents are important, just like others, but he is very bad. These that are placed because of the parents piss me off because they don't know any english. How did they pass the exam? This kid is a distraction and trouble maker in the class, so on the last day of the week, my last class, and the last 5 minutes of the class, I hauled his ass down to the office. Catherine talked to him and he refused to say anything and just sat there. "I don't care cause my dad is rich." mentality. I told Catherine to tell him that, "You have brought shame and disgrace upon your family name for generations to come. You don't get to come back tomorrow. You don't even get a lousy copy of our home game!" The office was laughing hard. But too bad...Catherine didn't do it. Fudge.
After class we went to Maggot pea for dinner where I got a salad n sandwich. Then I went home to pack more and I got myself a fannypack. Did you know in England "Fanny pack" means something completely different? "Bumbag" is what they call fannypacks. Fanny is slang for woman's hoo-haa.
I spoke to my dad and my Aunt Sharron in Moracco via SKYPE and that was kool. I also got my stuff packed for Shaolin. Its frustrating and nerve racking because I need to take money to pay for the training and I pay by the day and taking out money from the back account in the US ain't the best system if I want to save money. I also don't have a chinese bank account because I never had enuff money to put in one. Now I do, so I have to hide my cash everywhere and hope my gong fu can defeat any theives.
Spoke online with Chad and Yumi. Chad gave me some more schools to check out. He told me about Shi De Cheng who was monk Shi Xing Wei's sifu....who was the monk that I met in Las Vegas. So I emailed him and told him I would stop by and I attached a copy of the foto of Shi XingWei and I. I should go have that developed today.
After that, I met Ash, Irish John, John Irish, Ben, Will and Miguel at the beer gardens. It rained a bit.
It was a fun nite. Well, goodnite. I need to pack more stuff tomorrow. Take care!

Posted by Phil at 10:46 AM | Permalink

I had no morning classes today. It was wonderful. I was up to 2am last nite packing and doing stuff around the house. I woke up and took my big suitcase to Yumi's it was really heavy. As I was unloading the suitcase from the box taxi, it popped open and a bunch of stuff fell to the ground. Not much, but I was like, "BU!!!!!!!!". It was like how Darth Vader finds out that he killed Padme....only instead of yelling in English, he yelled in Chinese. I laughed so hard at that.
I picked up the stuff and closed the suitcase back up with a little help from the security guard. The secruity guards at Normata are very nice. I talk to them all the time.
After I dropped off the suitcase, I headed to the gym. Ran for a bit then headed home and typed up some stuff.
I went to class at 2pm and it was very good. We played some games today. we played Hot Potatoe and since John forgot the CD, I had to sing. So I was throwing in Niel Diamond, The Darkness, Ramones, and random things that were really funny. The kids loved it. This was, I think, the first class that really understood Simon Says. All the other classes I did the game with took forever to latch onto the concept of the game. But this class got it the second time the game came round. The first round, there were no winners.
I also had a class of 34 kids throwing up the devil horns and shouting, "ROCK!". I needed to kill 3 minutes so I taught them that. It ruled. Seeing a class of that size aged 7-10 is awesome!
After class, I searched around town for a duffle bag that i can carry to Shaolin. Not too big. I can cram all the stuff i need into the one i found, and it was cheap. Awesome.
Came home and went to practice. It was ok. Had some fun. Sifu's daughter told me today, after I told Guo Sifu two days ago that I would be leaving on sunday, she told me... "You have a wushu demo on sunday." Um....No i don't. I can when I get back and maybe I can do some forms that I learn at Shaolin. That would rule. I talked to a couple teachers via email and they both said they could teach me Zui Quan, druken boxing. How cool would that be at a demo and do your forms then kick back a bottle of beer and then do a druken boxing form. ROCK!
It wasn't too hot out today at all, however, it was super humid so it felt hot. At practice, it looked like I had taken a shower from all the sweat.
Goodnite!

Posted by Phil at 11:24 PM | Permalink

Did a bunch of things today. Had class in the morning. The last class thankfully. Chatted with Mountain and told him I made a mistake. "I need the taxi to pick me up Sunday morning at NORMATA, not the post office. I will be at Yumi's saturday nite. Not the big house."
I asked Katherine about my newspaper article, she said they lady was having it shipped and should be here today. Kool!
i didn't go to the gym today because I was a bit sore from an intensive practice from last nite and I wanted to get my final pay-out from Owen at 1140AM along with Peter. So i show up and Owen was late.
Around 12 he showed up and he went thru what each of us will receive. I looked at what I was to get, and I was like, "WTF! You are missing 1000RMB." I looked at it. The paper showed that I stop working on the 28th. They pro-rated my last 2 weeks pay as well as only trying to give me 5500RMB for my plane airfare. So, I called up Amanda and I was like, "I talked to you on the fone like 3 times and emailed you, you said my pay was fine." She called back and tried to explain why it was lower. She told Gary and Owen that I was to receive my money, but she didnt' bother to tell Emily or Gary about my hours and contract requirements. This communication bs really grates on you. I had to bust some heads to finally get what I was entitled to. If you don't speak up, you will be destroyed. And then the chinese accuse foreigners of being upstarts.
Then Owen took me and Peter to the Bank to get the cash. We were going as body guards because he would be takin out 27,000RMB. Peter and I both got about 13600RMB. Nice. We get to the bank, and the account that deals with this type of company, was gone and wouldn't be back until 2pm .Great!
Another wrench thrown into the plans. Owen would be able to get the money to either Peter or I until 7pm that day. And Peter needed it at 3pm to go buy some plane tix and his new computer. I just needed it. :D
So, i called John and asked if I could be late to class about 10 - 20 minutes, he said sure. We ran into Mark at the Maggot Pea cafe and had lunch. All the while I was waiting for a fone call from the messenger dude that is supposed to bring my Zhengzhou tix.
I got my money at 2pm and headed to class. I got there aroudn 220pm and the kids were working hard. I looked at the teacher's desk and there were 3 ice cold cans of beer. I was like, "what the hell is this", John was all like, a parent brought it in for us today. I was like damn! So during the second period, we popped open the cans. There was one for me, John, and Melina. Melina's sprayed her though when it opened. It exploded. I felt so bad. The kids laughed though. I apologized. Beer isn't viewed the same way in China as it is in the US. The dude at the bank yesterdya was drinking one while doing a transaction.
After class, John and I headed back here and I took all my DVD cases to Sheng Ya where I sold them back to them. While I was there, the messenger guy called me and he was directed to the store. I got my ticket around 530pm. I went to dinner for some noodles with John.
I came home and did alot more packing. Alot. And many other things. No practice tonite, not feeling good.
Well, goodnite all!

Posted by Phil at 02:07 PM | Permalink

Morning classes were bleh. 4-10 year olds just don't want to learn on a hot summer morning. The second period, no one was paying attention nor participating in things I tried to do. Fine, be stupid. Not that it really matters. All I really am to you guys is a babysitter.
Parents force their kids into schools during the summer so they don't fall in with the young crowd. How is that possible when all kids do is watch TV anyways. They never leave their house really. I have barely ever seen kids playing outside with friends when they are without their parent.
Anywho.
After class, I prepared for the gym and the bank. I went to go to the bank to purchase my Zhengzhou tickets. Its the same procedure as last time, but this time I am putting it all in at once so Jacky the Tix Guy can ship them out to me ASAP. I hopped on a taxi and drove there. When I got to the bank, I realized I had forgotten my money and invoice, i had taken it out when I moved some gym stuff around. AIYA! So, I grabbed that motorbike guy again and went back to my place, got my stuff, and then went back to the bank.
I waited for like 1 minute before I started taking care of my business with the teller. I looked to my right and there was some guy taking care of some business with another teller. Nothing special. Except that he was drinking a beer while he was doing it. Seeing stuff like that kinda messes with your head. I want to do that at National Shitty when I get back to the US.
After that, I got a taxi to the gym. The taxi driver as I got off started trying to say something to me by using his fingers. He never spoke a word. He was pointing to me, and then giving me two fingers and pointing to his seat. He did that a couple of times before I realized he was trying to say that I weighed as much as two people on his bike. Thing was, this guy was much fatter than I am. I blew him off and walked away.
Gym was good. Got lunch.
I had class at 2pm. It was good. I actually enjoyed it. The time actually flies by and I think the kids might actually get something out of this. It is intensive and they are learning new words and alot of the meanings they will need to learn by just watching John and I interact. Its good. We learned today that these kids will not be able to write their own speeches. About 40% of the kids could actually write a sentence. The rest just had words written down that we had gone over about the 3 topics.
We also got 4 new kids today. I tried to tell Jilly not to give us anymore kids because it was messing up our Qi. She was like, "huh?" I told her, "The first day, all the students and us teachers formed a very strong bond which allowed all our Qi to mesh together seamlessly. With introduction of new students, that bond/Qi mesh will no be unbalanced causing our relationship to deteriorate...."
She just walked away. I laughed to myself and John was cracking up too.
I looked at the attendance shit and saw some of the names the kids had. Now, the ones I gave, I thought were funny, but there were some good ones on there. "Might" was one.
Classes went good.
Afterwards I came home and did some more packing and junk. Around 6pm I took my guitars,swords, and erhu over to Yumi's place. I did this all at once. I had one guitar strapped to my back, the erhu slung over it while I carried my big sword in one hand and my guitar case in the other. I don't fault any of the chinese for staring. It was an interesting site to see me driving on a motorbike like that. I would have stared. When I got to Normata, the backpack case strap got stuck on the back of the bike and I almost fell over.
After I dropped off that stuff, I went to Peter's to return and pick up some stuff. We chatted and he was all getting ready to leave by about Thursday. He will pick up his computer tomorrow on wednesday after we get paid our payout. I should be getting 13500RMB. And so should Peter. Peter has also sold the pool table to BOND for about 230RMB. He got it for like 800. We got our use out of it.
After that, I headed home where I went to gong fu practice. Man, did I go hard tonite. I was practicing the wushu stuff in Chang Quan. You can take these wushu forms and break it down into their basic, technical things. I mean, like, first the form was actaully practical and then people made it fancy by throwing in jumps, falls, acrobatics, etc. So, I was trying to practice the jump kicks and everything while also practicing the practical aspects. It was tiring. I was really the only one practicing at all as well. I don't know why these kids are so lazy at this place.
When i walked in the doors when I got home, i saw a gecko scurry across the floor. I was soooo excited! My first gecko that i saw in China. I was like, "WHAT WHAT!" Sell me some car insurance BTICH!
I came home and chatted with my folks on SKYPE. We got some life insurance stuff set up since my old stuff was gonna expire on Aug 19th. Now, I got this new junk. Kool.
I had a weird dream later that nite because one of the options on the insurance plan was this "Terrorism Rider" that dealt with injury or death from a terrorist attack. My dream was I was with the Michigan Snowboard Club (UofM club) and we had set up a trip to Iraq. On my way to a party while I was on a bike, I got shot 2x by a patrolling insurgent. I showed up at the party with two bullet holes in my side while a couple people tried to patch me up, then a drunk guy came by and started singing a song about how I got shot and said, "Praise Allah."
interesting.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 02:37 PM | Permalink

Morning class was good.
Today was the start of Hopeless Star BOND camp. The first three lessons went well. We got a chinese assistant named Melina. A 19 year old college girl that is related to Boss John. So much nepotism in this company, but its china so its ok. When I found this out, I told Owen not to ask her out. ;-) We gave the students that didn't have an English name an English name. So, i decided to get a kick out of it. I named kids the following:
Jack, Rainbow, Tree, Lucy, Butterfly, Lollipop, and Violet.
Awesome! Peter got so mad at me when I told him.
I spent most of my free time today trying to figure out what school or what I was gonna do on my trip to Shaolin. Didn't go to the gym or practice becasuse of it. There is hardly any info online. I had Mountain call Tagou Wushu Center and he chatted with them and found out a price. It was expensive. 160RMB per day which included accomodation and training fee. I emailed the guy later on in the day. Appaerntly there are 130 foreigners there.
I will go check it out. It will cost about 4800RMB for 28 days. which is around $580 US. So much for me saving money from my payout.
The www.shaolin-wushu.de website has a review of only a few schools in Zhengzhou, Dengfeng, and Shaolin. Apparently they gave the official centers, Wushu Guan and Tagou bad ratings due to the high price and poor training facilities and not the same amount of training to foreigners. But those descriptions were 2 years old. Maybe they have gotten better. I did find out about, what the website highly recommends, the Songshan Shaolin Temple Xiao Long Gong Fu Training Center. Apparently they loved this school. The head foreigner teacher speaks good english and is friendly and doesn't beat chinese students for mistakes like other teachers do. He had high marks on this website. The price is about half of Tagou and sounded like it was better training too. Only problem is it is in Zhengzhou which is 3 hour bus ride from Shaolin.
What i could do is take 3 weeks at this place then a week at Tagou. Maybe. It depends on what I think of this school and Tagou when I arrive there on sundya and monday. I will fly in, check out this Zhengzhou school, then take a bus to Shaolin, and do that tourist thing and check out tagou and maybe stay the nite there. Then check out Tagou on monday and some other schools in Dengfeng. Then I will go back to Zhengzhou if I don't like it enuff down there.
It will be interesting!
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 08:27 PM | Permalink

I went with Yumi to Guangzhou today see her off on her flight back to Japan. She will be back on August 23rd. She wanted to be back on the 27th, however, the travel agency refused to fix their mistake without her paying extra. They were able to extend her flight by 1 month at no cost. Its better than nothing and I guess its better than paying extra.
It was sad to see her go. :(

After, I found the buses to get back to Xiaolan. An airport shuttle to a bus station and thena traffic jam ride back to Xiaolan.
Fun stuff. I had some dinner while John came over and we contemplated what we will be teaching tomorrow for this Hopeless Star Bond Summer Camp.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today, I spent the afternoon with Yumi going over a plan of attack for my month in Japan. Where to go, what to see, etc.
She is really busy packing up her stuff and just noticing a discrepancy on her ticket information that will cause her to fly back on July 27, not August 27th. So, she is trying to contact the people that helped issue the ticket. No one is answering any fones.
(LATER)
I don't know if this is a common occurence in the US or anywhere else, but I have heard this happening more times than it should to people here in China.... Why is it that when a travel agency or someone who deals in travel fares makes a mistake on a ticket the customer needs to pay for it. I have heard on many seperate occasions that the travel agency issued a ticket with the wrong date on it and then when it is brought to their attention they make the customer pay the difference of fixing it or not helping them out. And its not just airfare either. Its passports as well. Yumi's teaching colleague was trying to get her VISA renewed. She went thru her school like she was supposed to and she told them that her last name has changed to her husbands. The school waited until the last minute, as they usually do, and yet, after multiple reminders, they still printed the wrong name on the VISA. And when Mayu told them they refused to pay for the mistake and she was forced to pay for her new VISA on her own. And when she did take it to the government people to get it fixed, they made another mistake and wouldn't fix it. She had to pay again to have it redone. WTF is wrong with this picture!? I have never heard of stuff like this happening anywhere else. Please let me know if people have this many visa / airfare issues elsewhere and I will remember not to go there.
We went to dinner at the Northwestern place that the french folk went to last nite after Antoine's party. It was just another Zhao Zi Guan (Dumpling House). It was good. They had a special on the femur leg bone of a lamb. Yummy. We also had an interesting desert that I have never had before. They take slices of sweet potatoes and deep fry them and place them on a plate. Then, they melt lots of sugar in a pan or pot and poor it over the sweet potatoes. We needed to dip the potatoes into cold water before we ate them so the hot sugar didn't sear our mouths. It was interesting, sorta good, and very unhealthy.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 04:54 PM | Permalink

The weather today, as I woke up, was very nice. It was kool and a nice breeze with overcast skies. It doesn't seem to pretty until it comes after hot humid daze. Morning classes. Nothing different. Went well.
Went to the gym. On the way was kinda intereseting because the breeze was much harder now and it was a cool day. But as the taxi dude drove down a road, it was lined with these big trees in which the green leaves had already started turning yellow and started falling. They were the only trees around, so it felt like I was directly in an autumn day. It confused me. They gym was good.
I had my second day of oral examining. It went pretty good. There were more kids today than yesterday, however, yesterday, the skill levels of English were better. All the kids yesterday that I asked, "Have you been to the zoo?" understood and were able to respond. But today, when I asked that, Only 2 kids got it right. And they said Yes only because they didnt know the answer. It turns out, that it was the right answer. I would follow it up with another zoo question and this got them understanding the first. The kids describing of the picture today was not as good as yesterday`s either. I got a bunch of basic sentences today where yesterday I got kids going on and on about the fotos.
I also had a girl try to bribe me with compliments. After her oral exam, and I think she knew she had trouble with it, she said, "I wanted to say, You look very handsome today." After she said that, I kinda chuckled to myself, not so much that I blushed at the speaking of the truth, but becuase she tried to get a better grade by appealing to my pride. I was just like....Awesome.
Afterwards, I chatted with a couple of travel agent contacts looking for good airfare prices to go to Zhengzhou in Henan for my Shaolin trip.
Then I headed to Yumi`s. We went out to dinner at the CRC where my cellfone was stolen back in september. Then we walked over to Antoine`s place where he was having a one year anniversary party for being in China. It was fun. NIce and relaxing.
Then after that party became a bust, all the french people and others went to a North WEstern Chinese resturant. However, Yumi and I went to celebrate with Will and other teachers for WIll`s bday. John and Peter decided to go to the North Western place.
It was a good nite.

Posted by Phil at 04:42 PM | Permalink

This mornings classes went well. Nothing bad. However, the kids still come late. After classes, I headed to the gym. The gym was good.
On my way back to the house, I waited for a taxi guy. I stood there for a couple minutes before 2 taxi guys spotted me. One in front of the other. The first guy shouted out, "Wei" and they both pulled up. The first guy was second to pull up though, and I started getting on the other bike cause it was closer. This is when I was sorta assaulted. The driver that shouted grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward him wanting me to take his ride. I was a little taken aback by this but not really. Strangely, I was freaked out by it. I found it weird afterwards. So I broke his wrist lock and I got on the bike. As I rode off with the other driver, the one that grabbed me drove up and followed me and started cursing me out. "Cao ni ma!" Which means, "F--- you mother." So, I returned the favor.
I couldn't believe the brass on this fella. That isn't good business practices. That's not how you get good customers. What was his problem? What a Turd Ferguson.
I went home and then I had the oral exams for these special classes.
Later.

Posted by Phil at 05:39 PM | Permalink

Morning classes went fine. I was surprised, almost all the students were there already. Between classes, Dobs was in the office and we chatted. I asked him what he was doing. He was like, "I am hoping to do some teaching." He has spent 20 days in Xiaolan and he has only taught 3 classes. He has been getting mad for awhile, but he has also been getting depressed a bit. He is stuck in this dingy room with nothing to do. He walked around Xiaolan alot, but that gets old really quick. I wants to teach, and BOND ain't giving him classes. It doesn't make sense for a company to have all these teachers and have no classes. Its a waste of time and money. Get this, we have 2 teachers in this town with no classes schedualed, Dobs and John, and yet, we are getting new teachers on top of that. WTF! This is the kind of junk we have to deal with. And since we have are under contract and we aren't told about classes till the day before, we can't really go anywhere or travel. Dobs said he his bolting if he can't get a class today or tomorrow.
More the power to ya!

Posted by Phil at 11:53 AM | Permalink

Classes this morning were no different. I had a brand new student today. After we're a few days in to the class. The class wasn't full until the second lesson. I taught "How old are you?" And that was tough trying to explain to the kids. Thankfully, to make it even harder, Bond allowed for a 4 year old to join the class without telling me. YES! She is a cute little girl who won't even respond to me in Chinese. Well, she would respond, however, it took like a couple minutes on each question when I asked in Chinese. It sad. And, of course, no one was around to help me out with this little girl. She is confused, nervous, and prolly afraid of me. The material, the kids learned stuff which is good.
Near the end of the first class, about 5 minutes before the end of it. Violet and her father, John, showed up while he was holding her baby sister. When she showed up, she looked a little sad, and I had all the students at the front of the class doing an activity. She walks in, and I said, with a couple other kids, "come join us, Violet." Cause we were having fun. But she looked back at her father who looked unhappy and she started to wimper and then she started crying and hyperventilating like she does. She is very sensitive. And her dad got an even meaner look then. So she started getting worse. I was like, "What a dick!" Its not her fault you got her here late like you always do! I was soooooo pissed off. And she wasn't stopping. I tried to let her get it out of her system, but it didn't work very well so i had to help her.
Afterwards I headed home and did some chinese practice. As well as going to the gym. I am trying to build up endurance for my time at the Shaolin Temple. Its gonna be tuff.
As I came home and practiced more chinese. Julie showed up with a new teacher, Brian. He was an interesting fellow. Red hair and long rat tail that was a different red. He is from Minnieapolis. And I was like, "Cool, do you know Prince?" like I do with anyone from Minnieapolis. And then he said, yeah. I used to work for him. "I was like...are you serious?" He was like, "Yup, I was part of his back up band for a while, and we played Detroit." I was like. NO SHIT! that rules! I was like, No way!
He taught in Thailand for a year, met a woman and they got married. Then he went to Sichuan and tuaght there for last year. Now he is here. He asked me what I think of Xiaolan and BOND so I told him. He was like...Thanks for the info, with a sly smile.
Yumi came back today. So I spent alot of time with her. :D!!!!

Posted by Phil at 05:30 PM | Permalink

Today started fine. My morning class went ok. Just did the usual. Its frustrating though when the first lesson is pretty much spent just waiting for most of the students to arrive. Why can't you people be on time? I asked Mountain, "Why are they so late for their classes? They are wasting their money. Not like these classes are really gonna help them..." and Mountain responded, "They are chinese. They are always late." I was like, "Hey, you said it!" Giggle.
Afterwards, I had a couple hours to spend on doing some housework. So I did. And I did some packing as well. I had a meeting at 1230pm for the Hope Star Camp that we are starting on Wednesday. So I shipped off the wedding DVDs to Ben at 12pm and headed out.
I was the last one there and I was 5 minutes early...thats what I like to see. People on time. Mark told everyone to get some drinks because he wouldn't give us the bad news until after we had something to drink. Great! Can't wait. I ordered a Corona. I was like sweet. However, they brought me a lemon instead of a lime so i gave them the lemon back and asked for a lime. Asking incorporated, some words, the pointing at of a lime inside the water jar at the table, and telling the waitress not to take the water jar off the table. I got the lime. Why is it so hard?
So, Mark began telling us this. Apparently Big Boss Jane/John had decided to change the layout that we were told about last week. She apparently changed her mind after we had our meeting which she didn't attend. Did she bother to tell us? No, she told Gary at some unknown time, and of course, that jackass didn't bother to let Mark know until 40 minutes before our meeting.
Basically, the change has taken an English Camp from something different and maybe very effective and is turning it into a normal English Camp, which I hate to say...is pretty friggin' pointless. I hate to say it because I know my efforts and abilities are not being used or appreciated. But hell, what do you expect from 4-9 year olds. More than half of these kids will never remember me.
So, we spent about 1.5 hours trying to understand wtf was going on and how we would deal with it. Classes won't start until July 25th now, however, on Thursday and Friday we need to give out Oral Exams that last about 5 minutes and we use that to cut kids from 60 to 30 for each class. There will be two classes, A and B. A will get to study for free, B will have to pay. I said, "I will only participate in this if we can get written word from all the students' parents saying 'We will not beat our kids for not passing.'"
After that meeting was over, I grabbed some ice cream from McDonald's and headed home. I went to the gym today. It was good.
I had gong fu practice tonite and it went really well. My leg muscles didnt' get sore or tired from doing form work..and I was going pretty hard. Sifu nor his daughter were there so I didn't learn anything new.
I headed home. Time for sleep.
One thing that confuses me though, with this heat, and all the exercise, and not eating too much, you would think I would be losing weight. Well...I'm not. I actually think I am gaining some tummy. I can't figure it out. I don't know if its this weather or what, but its really disheartening.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 04:29 PM | Permalink

Woke up early. Did the DVD cover. It looks good. Its finally done.
I spent alot of time cleaning up my room and packing some more stuff for good.
John came over around 230pm to get away from Echo, her mom, and her friend. Too much Chinese feminitiy. He couldn't take it. He couldn't believe the whining.
He came over and he checked out the DVD while I did some more cleaning and such.
Then we played some pool while watching the Story of Ricky-O. That movie is better the second time. John loved it. So bad but sooo funny.
Afterwards, John, Peter,an d I went to the Hunanese place with Tim and Ping. John was treating Tim because Tim got him a ride from the airport. So he was thanking him. It was good. We then grabbed a smoothy from that Jack and the Maggot Pea. It was good. Now I am here.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:30 PM | Permalink

Today was quite busy. I woke up early and put the finishing touches on the DVD. I finished it. Only thing I gots to do now is print up covers. I hit up the bank and tried to deposit the remaining cash into Jacky's account. It sorta worked. I gave them the 4020RMB and they only deposited 4000 thinking that the 20 was for service charge. It took me about 15 minutes and a fone call to Mountain to get them to deposit the last 20RMB. Crazy. The lady wasn't there today. I felt sad. I hope she is alrite and not sent to go bust up boulders in Tibet.
After that I came home and did some other work.
At 530pm I started getting ready for the wushu demo. I headed over to the warehouse and apparently it was just Sifu, his daughter, Hong Kong, and me that were going. There were some Macau folks visiting and playing with each other on the floor.
The van ride to the outskirts of Shiqi was long. And Sifu is just as bad a driver as all the other chinese. I had to grip the seats and brace myself a couple times cause I was afraid of a car accident. I can't help but want to yell at people that ride their bikes out in front of cars on the highway.
We got to the area which was on the southern outskirts of Shiqi. It took sifu awhile to find the place. Once he did, he drove us to get some dinner. This resturant's menu had some really bad english. So i took a bunch of fotos of it. My favorite one was this for a food dish.... "All Kids of Rapes". I had a good laugh and explained it to the daughter who explained it to the others. We all giggled.
After dinner we headed back to the location. It was a cement basketball court. The place had filled up with chinese people. I was very surprised. There were a bunch of different teachers from all over Zhongshan visiting with some of their students. I saw alot of cool forms and alot of old guys and young guys performing wushu. The old guys were doing more longfisted practical type things whereas the younger folks were going for the full out wushu. There was this one old dude that was 83 and he was hopping around a little bit on the court. It was neat. As far as visual entertainment is, the old guys/sifus were pretty lame. The young folks were where it was at. There was this one guy who had a bull whip who was amazing. Very good. And a couple guys with swords. One guy did some Monkey style.
My performances? well, I think they were better than my New Year's ones, but still, I felt the performances could have been better. I guess this is what you get when you haven't been focusing on the form for a couple weeks. I have been doing it everytime, but I haven't been analyzing it like i usually do. I have been trying to learn some more stuff. I originally was gonna go 2 times at the end, but I got bumped up for my firts form up into the beginning. There were about 80 performances. Lost. We were there for like 2.5 hours.
I found the audience very rude. Whenever a person came out and performed and if they made the slightest mistake the audience would bust out in laughter. I found it rude and repulsive. I don't see you imaciated chinese doing anything like this? You try it. I got laughed at once when I slipped after touching ground from a kick. I didn't let it bother me though at the time. But a few others got laughed at.
After the performances were over we all had some food together. The hosting Sifu was thanking all the teachers for visiting then he said something like, "And we even have a white guy here who has come all this way to learn Chinese Gong Fu!" And I thanked everyone. It was nice. He said Chinese Gong Fu and about 3x the volume of the rest of the sentence. It was quite humorous. I enjoyed myself. It was a good time.
Then we headed home.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:07 PM | Permalink

This morning was the official opening of the New Bond School. I took some fotos. There were a bunch of students there. Lets see, Big Boss Man got on the mic and started dishing it out in English and Chinese. He said, "Today we will have 1000 stundents come in to take a test and 1000 more tomorrow...." And then a bunch of other horse manure.
1000....LOL! what a riot...I don't even think I saw over 300 kids today.
As we were on the little platform the students were all dispersed and the girl to boy ratio was enormous. I was like, Dude, there are like 5 boys here. Mark was like, Yeah, and check it out...they are all lined up. I looked over and there were about 15 boys standing in a single file line while tons all the other students just stood randomly around....but as far away from the people with the mic as possible. I think that is one of the first lines I have seen here in China.
There were some Canadians on lone from the San Xin school to help with the opening ceremony. They sang a stupid little song. It was like, with your hands, put your hands in front, behind, on top, under, in and out. They were teaching the hand jive I think. I don't know. I didn't really see the relevance of it. Personally. They tried to get the students to do it...they weren't having it.
Afterwards I headed home and dealt with getting my translations and getting paid and figuring out how to pay this Jacky guy for my plane ticket home. BOND gives me 6000RMB for airfare, but I have to get this ticket today or tomorrow ASAP because the airlines are raising the prices soon. Jacky got a call yesterday and said they got a call to up the price. So, he wanted to issue the ticket today. No problem really. However, I don't have the cash here so I needed to take it out of my National Shitty account. 4000RMB. I asked Amanda about getting an advance on the air ticket, but they couldn't do it today because i didn't give them enuff of a warning. Hell, I didnt think I would be buying the ticket this soon. Yuppers.
As I went to the Agricultural Band of China with Wing to deposit some cash, there was this old woman, who was mostly likely not all there in the head. She was wearing a big backpack, ratted out old army uniform, and wearing a "special" helmet. I was almost expecting to see the name "Philip" taped onto the front of it and she would have to be tethered to a jungle gym.
Anywho, she was constantly repeating the same phrase over and over again in Guangdong/dialected Putonghua. She just stood out the entrance of the bank barking this out. "The People's Republic of China is rubbish." Over and over. Well, she isn't all wrong. Wing was smirking at this. She must have been there for a bit because the security guards seemed irritated. You know what she sounded like? You know the Martians from Tim Burton's "Mars Attacks"? Well, she sounded just like that. It was kinda funny but sad at the same time. The guards got so irritated that they started shouting or barking back at her.
We deposited said cash no problem. By the time we left, she had gone.
I then had to go back to the New School to watch over and distract kids from their exams again this afternoon. I found some mistakes in the exam but they are so technical, I doubt the kids would notice. I found one kid sleeping on her exam. She was just laying there. Its like steam bath in this place so I can understand it. But after I tapped her desk to wake her up, I thought I heard sniffling. I didn't quite know if she was actually sleeping or just crying because she couldn't perform well on the exam. I looked over this exam, man, its not that hard, but there was one section I was like, "wtf?". I would prolly get an 93% on it. :D
Basically this test is to weed out the best of the best. They get free classes, those that do well. I am sure thats how Bond got so many students. Their parents are forcing them to take the exams and putting immense pressure on them to do good and if they don't do well, they will disown them. Thats how it goes on here. They don't exactly dis own them, but thats the fear. Totally fear driven. But if they fail, I am sure some of those kids will get beaten.
Mark Lee gave me a ride home on his pimped out motorbike. Its like a scooter like all the others have, however this one is wider and longer because Mark is like 6 foot 3 or 5. Its the only one he could fit in. When looking at it, you think Futuristic Retro-80s. Kinda straight out of Robocop. He put in a whole speaker set up. 4 speakers and an amp. As well as under the floorboard lighting so it glows blue at nite. The thing rules. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as we drove thru town blasting Iron Maiden. IT ROCKED! I want one.
Tonite I went to practice and spent all my time practicing Hong Quan for the demo tomrrow nite. I tired myself out good. Afterwards I headed the beer gardens to help celebrate Irish John's birthday. It was a good time. I didnt have much to eat for dinner, so I was kinda....whoo hoo!
Well, its 2AM and I am going to bed. Sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 04:38 PM | Permalink

You know, its great, cause these summer camps that BOND is putting together just re-confirms to me how horrible this company is. You tend to think "Yeah, maybe BOND ain't so bad and maybe it was just me getting used to China that made my first 6 months terrible..." when the last 6 months go fairly uneventful since you know how to deal with them better and know more in general. Well, these summer camps and the crappiness with which they have been infused just goes to re-instate my previous view of BOND just in time for me leaving and being able to post a review on the TEFL websites. I can't wait really. I am excited.
I received my schedual the other day, remember? Well, its fine. I don't really have a problem with it. However, John still hasn't received a schedual and classes started on wednesday and tomorrow. They are jerking him around...big time. He has contact the people in charge of this many times and was avoided or just not cared about. They were like, "well, we don't know what to do with you. There is a camp out in Guangzhou, you want to do that?" First he has heard of it and he talked with Amanda about his pay and, boy, did she piss him off. The main deal he was told and came over here on was that he would be salaried, now its most likely going to be 80RMB/lesson because they don't have enuff classes for him.
He was livid.
And on top of that, one of the main reasons to come back here, Jolene, has disappeared for 12 days back to her home town at the last minute to take some important exams at her school. She found out 1.5 days before that she had important exams! And they haven't been connecting while he's dealing with jet lag and also dealing with a broken armed Echo who annoys the hell out of him day in and day out. I feel for the guy, i really do. I hate to see him in this situation, but, I had to say to him, "Dude, I told you to stay away, but you didn't listen. You were away too long." while shakin' my head. I hope things get better for him.
The job Catherine mentioned in Guangzhou was pretty much 2 hours for 80RMB/hour. He was like, "WTF is that!?"
Oh well.

I had my second day of the Pre-Starters camp today. It was pretty good. The kids seemed to enjoy what I got them doing. After that, I headed home and did some DVD work. I received the fotos from Ben's wedding via EMS or MES or whatever. I got to work on that right away. The translations from Daisy' mom also were completed today. Fantastic.
I went to the gym with Jez Dobs, new english guy, and John. My legs are sore again from that damn Chang Quan. ARGH! I also got a call from Guo Sifu's daughter saying that we have a Wushu Demo on saturday that I must attend at 6pm. Koolio. Bringing my video camera. I will do Hong Quan 1 and 3. Hopefully better than last time. I hope my legs heal up by then.
I was gonna hit up practice but I was much too tired and I also felt I needed to go to Roberts vacation sendoff gathering of playing snooker. He is going hiking along the silk road with some friends then back to Australia for all of August. Then he comes back here in the beginning of September.
I was there and this is where most of the fone calls concerning John and Catherine were going on.
James showed up just before I left. I cant believe he is still around.
Well, goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:17 PM | Permalink

Today was my first day at this BOND camp. I got 12, maybe 14 kids in my class, aged 5-8. I got Jack, Violet, and Daisy included. I thought Daisy didn't have time, but apparently, there she is. Its 2 periods of 40 minutes starting at 8AM. I got there and I was worried cause I was the only BOND person there. Um...its 8AM. ... Then some staff people showed up and told me 810AM. Ok. The first period was spent getting all the kids in the class. They were all late. Second period was ok.
Afterwards, I hit up the gym. Headed home. DVD work. Met John and Peter and Damon and throughout some time, alot of the other teachers at the cafe. It was good. Relaxing.
After that, John came over and we watched Zombi 2. A really bad 1980 zombie movie. But it was hilarious all the same. Its always good to watch bad zombie movies in groups. Hit up dinner then I had practice. I learned all of Chang Quan today and did it full out and boy, is it tough.

Back to the BOND classes. This new school sucks. They truly believe i think is that all they need is a place with rooms. Big Boss Man seems to have lots of high hopes for this place and lots of intentions that I can't ever see happening. I mean, at the beginning of the classes, half the rooms lack blackboards. Those that have blackboards are just slabs of wood painted black. There is no sort of anything in the rooms to use. Its a wonder I can teach the kids at all. I fear they will be bored.
Also, the glass window shutters randomly fall out of their holder and break on the floor so we got kids running around with randomly breaking glass. This place is a shithole.

I went to gong fu tonite. It was intense. I think i got myself sore again. Afterwards, I hit up "Rashion & Salon. I got myself a haircut. I asked the guy, in chinese... Do you know "Mohawk" ? and he was like, "Yes, I know." And I asked him many times as well as drawing three diagrams. And he still said, I know. But he sure wasn't doing it. I was like wtf. And of course, people were being attracted to watching it. He didn't do what I asked. And then he said, "Sorry." I was just like . ARGH!

Well, goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:37 PM | Permalink

Finally, after hearing about it for a week from some of the other teachers, Yumi and I tried out the western cafe thats new in town. I have to say. Its pretty darn nice and trendy looking. AND it had good food. We showed up and Robert was already there eating. Ha ha. Wow. Apparently its a Taiwanese chain. They had real cheese cake. !!!!!!
Its actually called Jack & The Magic Pea Cafe.
Apparently they have real good coffee but since I hate coffee, I didnt have any.
After that I had a meeting about summer camps at 3pm. Catherine had schedualed me for the Star Hope camp which takes the best of the students involved in the camps and starts to prepare them for the CCTV English Language competition. (The speech competition that I judged at back in Dec/Jan was a preliminary competition for the CCTV one) Basically they narrow it down to one English speaker per chinese province and they compete on National TV for that years first prize.
But this summer camp lasts until August 9th and I was like, Catherine, do you not know that I am gone on August 1st? She was like "Gary told me the end of August..." I was like, "Gary doesn:t know shit, and you should know this by now because you have worked with him for months. I had my contract changed with Amanada and Boss JOhn.....etc.etc". I wasnt being mean, I was just letting her know the facts. And she was like, No Problem. STill do Star Hope and I will figure it out later.
THe meeting was with me, Mark, Bill, Miguel, Will, and Clyde. THese are supposedly the best of the best that BOND has to test and we will practice with them. These kids get to go to class for free. Hardcore. There are 3 sections of this Star Hope program.
1. This summer camp.
2. THe usual weekend classes at Bond
3. THe run up to the competitions that the schools put on for their students.
It was an interesting meeting. Its gonna be interesting.
Afterwards, I went home and figured some stuff out and went to teach Daisy. It went pretty well. Her mom had finished the translations I asked her to do. And we tested to see if I could copy from WORD to DVD Studio Pro. It will work. THankfully. THat shouldn:t be a problem.
I skipped gong fu practice so I could spend some time with Yumi. She is going to Yunnan tomorrow morning at 10am for about 7 days. And I gots to work at 8AM.
Goodnite all you kids.

Posted by Phil at 12:03 AM | Permalink

Today. Well today was a pretty lame day. Nothing really going on.
However, the evening was where it was special. At 5pm, Big Boss Man John asked all the Xiaolan teachers to meet up and then go veiw the new Bond Quarters that they purchased. Its like a small school. 16 classrooms and a big space for other things. It was actually quite nice. Its like the Shiqi place only bigger. It was still in the process of fixing up. And, surprisingly, an English school couldn`t get the slogans on the banners that it was hanging correct. We all had some good laughs at the things said on the banners. For one, the name of the school, Bond Language Institute was screwed up on the building itself. It said "Bondlanguage Institute". Other banners contained these luscious tidbits. "`Silent` and `Listen` are spelled with the Same letters" - nothing really wrong there except the capital S, but i found it cute because I never thought of that. Peter came up with some others, Enlist and Tinsel. I was like Satan and Santa have the same letters.
"A great oaks from a little seeds grow" - got some Yoda-speak in there.
"A Warm Welcome to Our Studentsto Take Bond Examsof English" - this was just messy with a straight from chinese translation and misplacing of letters.
"More haste, less speed" - um....huh?
"We forge ahead in the world and the future with Bond." - tooting your own horn.

Still just amazing that an english school couldn:t get it right.
There were a couple others too that they didn`t fully unravel either because of the goofs. We were at the site for about 15 minutes before Boss John showed up. While a few of us stood around and chatted, some of the ENglish folk started playing cricket with a ping pong ball and a broken stick. The english man and irish man amongst our chat group started ripping on the sport. THey were like, "you guys understand this?" We were like, "No, we`re American. We like our sports to make sense."
THere were still construction workers standing around doing their jobs when they weren`t staring at us. What I found really odd was that the workers were staring at us instead of the chinese midget. I was like, you stare at things different from you, why aren`t you staring at the midget? And then what creeped me out even more was that the midget was staring at us! I was like whoa! I guess people infected with white skin and blues eyes are a better sight than Oompa Loompas.
When Big Boss John finally showed up, he saw us all laughing at the banners and I think he looked pissed off more from the fact that we were making him lose face than the actual fact that the print shop is really the ones to blame for the mistakes. But I mean, come on, he didn`t check the banners before they were finally printed out. I would have totally done that consider the fact that the chinese have a horrible time in spelling english. And they are too arogant to ask for a foreigner`s help. Sad really. But it gives us a good chuckle.
Mark Lee was like, "To get a pig to wear stilheto heals is as tough a job to get chinese to spell properly." - or something along those lines.
Then John came over to give his speech and tell us what is going on with the place. It was actually quite enjoyable. For 15 minutes he was saying stuff and we were all cracking jokes and John was able to go along with them. Surprisingly fun. And Bill...omg Bill was friggin` hilarious. This is the 65 year old Aussie thats like Bruce Banner..."Don`t make me angry...you wont like me when I`m angry." But he was just dropping laugh bombs all over the place.
When John talked about the teacher`s lounge, he was like, we need couches for having sex on. Along with the beer and other fun things. He said, he wants his grandson to have a good time when he comes around and Mark Lee was like, He knows a catholic priest?
It ruled.
After that viewing we headed off to dinner. Dinner was good. Most of the teachers sat at one table while the chinese staff and a few other teachers sat at the other. It was kinda wierd though, John kept looking at our table with inquisitive eyes. Like he was searching for Judas or something. It was weird. Very uncomfortable. Maybe it was because we were laughing and chatting and he thought it could be about him. Some of it was, but nothing bad.
After that, Miguel, John Irish, Glenn, and I went to the beer gardens for about an hour and that was bout it. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:28 PM | Permalink

Man, its the afternoon only, but I needed to get this down before I forgot most of it. It was an interesting morning. I met with that Gong Fu Sifu from dinner on Friday nite. I gave the card he gave me with the name of a resturant on the back to a motorbike guy and he took me a long way away. Its like the opposite side of Xiaolan..almost on the outskirts by all the farms. This started out interesting. I sat down on the curb and called up the guy. I told him where I was and he came an picked me up. He then drove me out of the city proper into the farming ghettos. Boy, and I thought I got stared at alot in the city. I got it worse here. But I think I am at the point now where it doesn't bother me anymore, but anywho, the people I saw stared at me.
He took me over small bridges thru the foliage and etc. Finally got to a complex. It looked like a small cafe/beer hangout. A nightime thing. It turns out, thats his little business. The party are for the locals. It was this building completely built out of bamboo. Its the type of building that all those hip tiki bars try to imitate. It looked ragged though. Really ragged. And so did the dog. It had a limp. Sad. I tried to pet him but he was afraid of me and wouldn't sniff my hand.
So, the guy showed me his place. In front of the bar area there were a couple concrete locations, not very large, that looked like practice areas only they haven't started practicing on them yet. He showed me this set up where he will hang heavy bags and then showed me to a squared off area where he said a Wing Chun wooden dummy would go. At this point, I was laughing in my head. All this talk about him being the #1 Gong Fu Sifu in Xiaolan, i knew it was utter bullshit when he said it, but man...this just hit it home. He doesn't have a practice area. It looks as though he is setting the place up, but it also looks like he isn't putting in much effort either.
Then we sat at one of the card/mah-jong tables and we had a disjointed conversation in Chinese and English. I was picking up some of what he was saying. He called around for people telling them he had an American Friend with him so come on over. Here I was thinking they had practice on Sunday morning like I do in the US. But nope. One of his students, a 19 year old girl, showed up. Her english sounded really good, I understood all that she said, however, she just lacked versatility in it. She has been studying for 1 year with him. But all she does is play the drums... What? Ok. Another girl showed up with better English and another guy with rotted thru teeth as well.
Why I said he was arrogant in the headline was because how he just talked about himself and how he referred to Guo Sifu and other things. He brought to my attention many times that he has been studying "real" Gong Fu for 35 years. He then would say Mr. Kuo (Guo) has been only doing gong fu for 10 years. Throughtout the morning, the length of time Guo Sifu has been studying gong fu had dropped from 10 years, to 9 years, and then finally to 3 years. He was bascially saying that Guo Sifu isn't as good as he is and that Guo Sifu isn't good at all. This is where he just really started to piss me off. It just got on my nerves. He just kept mentioning it. Then he would go on to say that what I am learning at Yongning isn't gong fu, its just for show. Its not "real" gong fu like he is doing. Well, DUH! Its wushu, its performance gong fu. But its still hard and has its basis in real gong fu. I'm sorry, but Wong Fei Hong did Hong Quan and other long fist forms. He kept on saying that gong fu that I have been learning is not typical of China... Funny, its all I see in this country. He just kept on harping on the fact that he teaches real stuff.
He said he is opening this school soon. He also said he has a couple partners. He kept mentioning his partners as well. One of them is the #1 Gong Fu man in China. Pardon me, but if he really is the #1 Champion in China, he wouldn't be hanging out in the ass end of Guangdong. His other partner is very famous in Taiwan. Sure. I bet he is. He made sure I knew this because he mentioned it five times. From what I gather, his group teaches Wing Chun, Taiji, and Lan Quan (whatever that is - not Long Quan).
And then he would say, "So you will start coming everyday, right?" It took me a while to get it into his head that I will be gone all of August. He also finally understood that I have to work the rest of July and that if I make it to his practice it will be when I have time. Talk about me feeling uncomfortable.
I think he wants me to leave Yongning and Guo Sifu and just practice with him. LOL! Hell no. Despite the fact that Guo Sifu hasn't been teaching me all that he could, he has still been quite nice to me. I won't disrespect him like that. I felt like those chinese guys in the old gong fu movies. "You disrespect my teacher! I must give you a lesson. I alone am best!" I mean there were times I wanted to just stand up and leave. I couldn't believe this guys audacity. If he was a real decent gong fu teacher, he would be humble, like Gabriel was. Never once did I hear Gabriel say spiteful things against another teacher to make him look better.
After about 1.5 hours just sitting and doing nothing, he finally decided to have everyone go to brunch. At brunch, an English teacher at the school Ben teaches at, showed up and helped with interpretting things. So, again, I had to listen to all his bullshit again in better English. This is where Guo Sifu's gong fu education had reached the low of 3 years. "Mr. Guo has been studying only 3 years where I have been studying for 30 years." The fact that he has been studying gong fu longer may be true but who has the school and who is teaching? Guo Sifu is really good and I haven't heard him sound arrogant like this fellow. His arrogance may be just pure self-confidence, and who knows, maybe he is right, but I was just disgusted with him.
He said I could start practicing on July 25th. Hmmm....5 days before I leave for the Shaolin temple. Hell, i could give it a try just to see what he is like.
"If you want to learn chinese gong fu, you better learn from me."
I came home and posted a bunch of fotos from yesterday online. Check them out.

This evening Yumi and I met up with John and Jolene around 7pm to go to dinner. First we headed out to this other Hunan place. It was packed so we went to th Yunnan place. It was good food. Only down thing is that John and Jolene got in an arguement during dinner. Don't bring it to the dinner table, please. This is where I heard that Echo had gotten into another motorbike accident. I think this is the 6th or 7th. And I found out that she broke her arm on this one. She hit a car. If this doesn't make her get a drivers licensce, I don't know what will.
Afterwards, we all went to the Beer Gardens at about 9pm. A bunch of folks were there and Yumi and I stayed till about 1130pm. She has to work tomorrow. Peter was there and it turns out that Echo got in this car accident about 2 days ago and didn't tell Peter until last today. He was really pissed off about it. He mentioned that after this, the relationship is over. I also found out it was Nick's last day pretty much. I learned some things about Moses and Amy that were mind blowing. Unbelievable. Mostly about Amy though.
Apparently she made Megan cry two times because of some of the stuff she said about Nick. She was saying things like, "Don't date a foreigner, they are only interested in sex." "You shouldn't date a foreigner younger than you because he will go to college, become smarter than you and then leave you." "You should find an old man to take care of you. (Moses)". And various others. Apparently, she did this every day. It was a complete mind job to me. Here i thought Amy was a really cool woman. Very progressive, very smart, and very different and then this sets her back into the realm of closed minded chinese culture. She seemed so great and then this. I sat there, with my mouth hanging open just dumbfounded. I couldn't believe it.
Nick mentioned the whole selling of stuff in their room as they were leaving. As they were leaving, they were selling their laundry detergent and other little things. I didn't think to much about it at the time, but after Nick mentioned all the stuff they tried to sell, i was just like, jeez. And they still left their room in a pigsty.
Craziness. Well, i am outtie.

Posted by Phil at 02:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The Sun Zhongshan Former Residence/Museum/Film Studio fotos.
Today was a very beautiful day. Yumi and I finally got mobilized and hopped a bus to Shiqi at about 1230pm. We got there and hopped another bus, the #12, and headed to Sun Zhongshan's Former Residence and Museum. The bus trip, complete with constant stops, was 1 hour long. But it cost 4RMB. It was a non-AC bus with metal bar seats. Very uncomfortable. But ever since I bought sandals and a pair of shorts, the weather and temperature in this area has been much nicer.
We finally got to our destinitation and saw all the nice sites. On our way there, just down the street we saw what Yumi said was "Zhongshan Castle". Really? I didn't know they had a castle here. Check out the fotos.
The area that he was born into and grew up in is known as Cui Heng village. They still have the village and his birth house. However, when he became more famous and studied abroad, the house he moved into was very interesting. It doesn't look chinese at all. It reminds me of some spanish/portugese style mixed with a little bit of Chinese style. Kinda like Macau. Yumi and I walked the grounds and everything and checked out the museum. It was very nice. Of course, most of what was said had to be approved by the Red Government so i had to take it with a grain of salt. Most of the stuff about his personal history seemed to fit, but I was wary about the political stuff they talked about in the museum.
At one point, there was this 10 year old boy who seemed a little lost. He came up to me and started asking me like 20 questions. It was neat. He spoke well, however, he couldn't answer everything I asked. He said goodbye and skipped off. Later on thru the time there I noticed him following us. We spoke a coupel times and he always said, "Goodbye." It was cute.
We had spent about 1.5 hours hanging out in this area when we pretty much finished it. It was only 330pm. I was like, "Well, it would be a waste to just go back home now, do you want to check out the Castle?" -Ok.
So we exited and decided to walk up the road. The whole way, about .5 miles or something, a nice easy walk, a chinese bicycle carriage rider rode along side of us trying to sell us a map for 6RMB. Literally, the whole 15 minutes as we walked this guy just rode along us saying the same thing and shoving the map in our face as much as he could. We finally got to the castle and it turned out to be the Zhongshan CCTV Film Studio. This is the thing that Coco mentioned last nite. We paid the entrance fee and it was open until 630pm. Sweet. We got lots of time and their seemed to be lots to see. And boy there was. It was really kool. As we gave our tickets to the people, they freely gave us the same map of the location that the bike guy was trying to sell us for 6RMB. What a dip.
It seemed as though this entire studio/set was created solely for the Sun Zhongshan TV Drama Series that played back a couple years ago.
The first thing to see was the fountain surrounded by a couple red buildings whose interiors were designed to look like the external and internal areas of the ship that Sun Zhongshan used to travel at during a famous/important period of his life. They had the cabins and the bed areas. All along the walls they had screen shots from the TV series of him and his wife at the time. Most of the pictures that showed a wife were supposed to be Soong Chin Ling from what I could figure out...his 3rd and final wife. well, maybe 2nd official wife, I don't think he married the middle one. But she is considered a wife by the chinese people.
After that we went a little farther and I saw some horses and people in Nationalist Uniforms. Looks like there may be a show. At first I thought maybe we could ride horseys because I saw a guy in plain clothes riding one. But a show started as we got there.
OMG! this was hilarious. It was also cool. They had the people ride around in a circle and do horse tricks like jumping off the horse then back on while they are riding and doing alll these acrobatics on the horse. They ultimate cheesyness though came when they had choreographed a staff fight between 3 people and it was complete with delayed sound effects presented over the speakers. It ruled. Afterwards they were giving rides around the track on a horse for 10rmb. So, we both did it. The saddle tore up all the healing flesh on my burn so it started oozing again. Yuck. But the most memorable thing about the ride was the fact that when the guy started galloping the horse my balls proceeded to be compeletely crushed. As the horse galloped I was like, "Oow ow ow ow ow ow ow ooooooow!" After my turn was up, I was getting down and one of the horses idling made a dash for the exit door to escape. I don't believe these guys treated the animals very well. I noticed alot of gashes and wounds on the horses. Then, for Yumi's turn as he was sending the horse of, the guy kicked him in the ass. Like...hard...and full of malice. I was like...shit!
After the horse rides we walked around the area and walked up the stairs that go to the chinese temple honoring Sun Zhongshan. The view from up here was spectacular. As we walked back down we heard a performance getting ready. We got there and sat down. We were really the only spectators there. It was funny. They had some "Shaolin" kids, some dancers, some gong fu, and some more dancers. Then they all gathered on the stage and waved goodbye to Yumi and I. Very cool.
We then walked around the other sets. American Town, China Town, England town, Japan Town, and the Battlefield. Over at England and American Town there were a couple of newlywed couples taking fotos at various places. And the photographer was a such a stereotype. Long hair, a hip black outfit with the shirt unbuttoned halfway down. So funny. It was a kool place. I am very happy we came across it. Check out the fotos.
We then walked back to the bus stop and started walking back to Shiqi until a bus showed up. This time we caught an AC equipped #12. 5RMB this time. We got to the Fu Hua hotel and we just barely snagged the last non-stop bus back to Xiaolan. ONce we got back, Yumi went home and I went to practice for an hour. I was going easy because my legs were still sore from Chang Quan the other night.
After practice, I met up with Yumi again and Nick, John, and Damon and we went to the Beer Gardens. It was good and relaxing. It was good. Such a good day. Such a good day. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 03:28 PM | Permalink

I woke up this morning and read about the London Bomb Terrorist Attacks. What a shame. I don't really know what to say about it. Other than it really sucks.

So, for some reason, John Irish came back. Of course, he explained it to me and it makes sense, but still. ITS BOND! Oh well. The first moment he got back last nite he was talking to Jolene and they planned for him to stay somewhere else when he has spoken to them about the Big House or Peter's. He was like..."It's starting..."
Last week, Jolene asked me to work friday nite so I said sure, because I had a vacation the whole week. Then, I knew this was gonna happen, Coco called me and said the DeXing End of the term dinner was tonite. So I told her i couldn't go and she couldn't understand. I called Jolene and told her what happened. I didn't ask for work off, but Jolene told me to go to the dinner. Ok. So I called Coco back and told her I was gonna go.
I spent most of this morning putting in English subtitles on the wedding DVD. Man, this subtitle editor needs some fixing in the next update. You hear that APPLE? Its sooooo slow. I then headed over to meet up with John at Pete's around 330pm. As I got there, John was leaving to go meet Jolene. So i hung out with Peter and Nick. Then I had to head out to my De Xing dinner.
As I was leaving, John was arriving back. He looks taller now. But its because of his giant boots. I told him we would get together after dinner.
I went to dinner and it was good. I said thank yous and goodbyes to everyone and toasted them all. That big guy from the Teacher's Day and end of the Fall term dinner was there again. Coco told everyone I planned to go to the Shaolin Temple during August and he got exctied and started talking to her. Apparently he is a gong teacher somewhere. It would have been nice if he coulda told me this when I first got here. I mean, Coco told everyone I liked gong fu. But nope. Oh well. Coco acted as an interpreter and he said he taught "real" chinese gong fu. OH GOD please don't let it be Xanda. That fake "real" chinese gong fu. I made plans to meet with him on sunday at 9AM for practice. I am interesting. He basically said that he is the Gong Fu King of Xiaolan and that his partner is #1 Champion of China. Thats some impressive bullshitting. I highly doubt both of those statements. He started talking about Taiji and so I figured, hey ,I can check it out. THere is no harm in it.
After dinner, which was good, I had to go to Karaoke and sing a couple songs. I tried to sing Hey Jude and Fly Me To the Moon. Its so hard to sing karaoke withou without the real music.
Afterwards I met with Yumi and John and Jolene at Sunday bar and then Antoine showed up with two of his Frenchmen posse and we hung out.
It was late so we headed home. John went with the frenchies to a cabaret bar. He said it was lame but sort of fun.

Posted by Phil at 04:06 PM | Permalink

All day today I did stuff. Mostly DVD related. I went to teach Daisy and do Chinese lesson. However, I spent my time of the lesson having Daisy's Mom help me with English translations of the chinese from the wedding. It was the best I could do. I think its far from perfect, but I don't have the ability to do an exact translation.
Daisy's cousin kept interupting us though, wanting to listen and watch and push all the buttons on the computer as we were watching it and when he was sent away....many times, he would start screaming really highpitch and fake crying. I wanted to punch this kid square in the face. He annoys the hell out of me.
I went to gong fu tonite and gave sifu his gift. He seemed to like it. He was surprised. His daughter and Tommy instructed me more on Chang Quan. They kept on saying, "Do it right" "That's not correct"
I was like, "Give me a break I just learned this new move today. I am working on it."
Tommy speaks pretty good and Michelle is ok. Still working on it.
I am really sore tonite. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:51 AM | Permalink

Well, all last nite I had an aching stomach...not too bad...just enuff to irritate me. I need talk to Nick, see if this is what he had over the weekend. If I laid on my back, it hurt the most and it was relieved as I laid on my sides. However, last nite it was the other way. If I laid on my sides, it hurt. Wierd. After I got home from gong fu, it was really sore. I had some breakfast this morning, the sweet mutant brother of the Banana, forgot the name, and an apple ans some water. Stomach is still slightly sore.
Spent most of my morning updating this here journal. The Wedding video is still encoding.
I got LIMEWIRE open so I think thats whats causing the drain on the processor speed.
I was speaking with Robert just a bit ago and I mentioned the DVD. He said he is excited to see it and I am like, well this is the wedding one. He was like, oh.
But then he said, "Man, whenever I think of the last DVD, I just keep laughing. When you pose that questions, "What do you tihnk of China?'. I can't stop laughing when I think about it. Its soooo true."

giggle. That makes mesa happy.

Posted by Phil at 12:16 PM | Permalink

I could have had the entire DVD movie edited and encoded today, but I needed to wait on some help to translate a couple of title screens into chinese. I also wanted a second opion on a color filter I was using for the apartment footage. We spent alot of time at the apartment and the lighting wasn't the best so the footage I shot all pretty dark under chinese indoor flourescent lights. I had two filters I was playing with, Color Corrector and RGB Balance. I first was using the Color Corrector, and it worked with a drawback. It brought the colors up and looked normal, however, it made it look grainier. I liked it, but it wasn't the best. So I mixed it with the RGB and increased the red which gave a positive look because it brought back in the flesh colors of the people. However, it also increased the red in all the other pixels in the room, so it accented on the negative side of the color corrector. So, Mountain and Peter took a look at it. I eventually settled on just the RGB and it seems ok. Its still smooth and dark, but with the RGB added, it looks more natural.
I had moved the TV into my bedroom because I didnt feel like moving all my junk in the living room. I tried hooking my computer to the TV for an external monitor and because I was going thru another harddrive, it wasn't working right. So I had to move files around which took time. When I had everything set up properly, it didnt' work. ugh. So frustrating. Then after a while I figured out what you ahve to do. I had to have the camera plugged in and on before starting up the program. So, i got it on TV and used that. Those color filters look good on the computer because the viewing window is so small, but once you put it on the TV, things are much bigger and it was here that I realized that the Color Corrector wasn't very good. So i trashed it.
I then added some titles to it and started the encoding process.
I then went off to Gong fu. I took a bike again because I haven't goteen around to fixing my bike tire. Practice was good and tuff. Sifu was there. We had a couple discussion in Chinese....there was lots of finger pointing and visual aids.
Well, I my stomach hurts and I don't know why. I think Nick might have given me his cold that he had this weekend. Thanks. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:41 AM | Permalink

Today was nice. I spent most of the day throwing together this DVD for Ben and Xiao Hong. I got pretty much all the editing done today. Wow. That was quick. But thats all I really did.
I bought another harddrive today at the computer store. 160GB and I got it for about $60US. Pretty good I think.
To celebrate 4th of July, I told Nick I was gonna order a Pizza. I ran off to the computer store about 520pm, got my harddrive, and on the way back I forced a motorbike taxi guy to pull over at a little shop that was selling chinese fireworks. Those really loud red bastards that people set off during Chinese New Year and special days.
I walk up to them and they jump out of their chairs from surprise when they see me. They come over to the little table and I point to what I want. "Dou shou qin?" (or whatever the pinyin is for How much cost?" And maybe these folks only spode guangdonghua because all they did was bring out one set of fireworks. I asked again, and they brought out 2 more sets. So i brought out my wallet, shook it and pointed at the fireworks making the international money sign with my right hand. They brougth out 2 more sets. UGH! Then I think they understood. "Lian kwai" (2 kwai). Ok. so i said "wu-ga" (5 units). They gave me five and i paid 10RMB. I prolly got ripped off too. :D pretty cheap.
I hopped back on the motorbike and we headed off for the house. I got in at about 550pm and we ordered a Pizza. Yumi was on her way and she showed up 10 minutes later. So, it was just the three of us. An American, a Canadian, and a Japanese. So, we went up to the roof to set off the fireworks. It was a beautiful day today. Very pretty. Blue skies, not many clouds. Great.
I set off the fireworks. Nick videotaped it all. The chinese don't seem to beleive too much in wicks because there were barely any wicks. That means there isn't much time to get away from these loud thingyies. The first one went off fine. The second one had a longer wick, clearly by accident, and that one went off fine. The thrid...well, i almost blew off my hand. The wick was so short that before I had released the firework set from its intended arch, the wick burnt my index finger and that cause me to waver my hand which led the fireworks to break apart in the air as they were hurtling across the roof. While in the air only about 3 things exploded. The rest didn't get any fire from the initial wick.
So we spent the next 10 minutes trying to use something else for lighting the wick. Nick then lit up a cigarette and handed it to me. I used that. Placed the last couple sets on a stool and set them off. I took the duds and re used them. It was good. We contemplated dropping the last set off the roof, but the streets were too busy. If i had done so, it would have been when no one was around.
We went back down and the pizza came. Yummy.
Tonite I had gong fu practice so I went. My bike's front tire had blown over the weekend so I took a motorbike taxi. As I was getting off, my calf grazed the exhaust pipe and I burned a 2 inch diameter circle just under the calf. Fantastic!
Sifu wasn't there but his daughter was so I practiced with her. It must have been the spices on that pizza because after awhile, I started feeling sick from all the practice. So i had to leave early. I couldn't find a ride home so I walked. As I got close to home, I saw a dog urinating on a tree and then I saw a chinese kid urinating and deficating on the sidewalk. ......hmm....which one has more courtesy?
I got home and worked more on the DVD editing. I also chatted with some friends i haven't talked to in awhile. It was good. Well, goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:21 AM | Permalink

I didn't meet an orangutang...and I know the spelling is way off on that one, but you get the idea. I just needed a title. Today was ok. Yumi and I went to foot massage, I got paid, went to John at the computer store (Violet's father) and talked to him about harddrives and CF Digital Camera Memory cards. I brought Yumi back to the house with her computer and we went thru the process of setting up her computer so we can do video chat whie she is in China dn I am in the US. It took us awhile to get it working because her webcam, though the box says, doesn't work properly with Windows XP. Chinese bootlegged crap. John sold us this thingy. It wsa kool when it was working though.
That tool along time to do. Then we grabbed some dinner. Yummy.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:53 AM | Permalink

Yumi and I woke up early this morning. She had to leave to meet some friends at 920AM so I walked her out and saw her off. I then went to Ben's apt to drop some clothes off. No answer. I called his fone and it was shut off. uh oh. So i went and grabbed some food and go this finalized to go. I called over there every 15 minutes. No answer. I went over there again and no answer at the door. It was getting close to the time that I needed to be checking out and leaving to go meet Peter, Nick, and Echo. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. Nice breeze, bright sun, no clouds in the sky. Great. I went over there once last time and rang the bell and he answered and let me in.
I walk into the apt. Ben is standing there and looks like he just got up. His voice was hoarse from a long night of celebrating and drinking and obviously a late wedding nite. He was pacing around the apartment. "I don't know where my wife is. We are supposed to meet my parents for dinner 10 minutes ago." He was calling her and no answer. He told me to get my stuff and bring it back so I could leave it there. So I did. As I was leaving my hotel room, out of Seth and Will's room walked one of the bridesmaids. I was like, "DAMN!" So we walked back to Ben's place together. Ben spoke with her a bit then got a hold of Xiao-hong and they discussed things. Apparently one of the aunts got upset because she didn't feel Ben and XiaoHong were paying enuff attention to them and went home early. The one that kept staring at me from yesterday. Ben and I went back to the hotel to check out. Thru all in all...I was given 100RMB back. I didn't pay anything. Apparently because of some deal they swindled with them and the parents staying at that hotel but leaving a day early, I was able to get 100RMB. Wow. kickass. I don't know the details. It was very confusing.
Seth came down and Ben was like..."guess what I heard - i have witnesses saying a bridesmaid spent the nite. Seth was like, "Yeah, she slept at the foot of the bed and her sister slept on 3 chairs pulled together. All I remember is saying something to Will last nite when we got home then waking up at 1030 this morning." Ben and I laughed.
Will then came down and we parted ways for this afternoon. I hopped the 201 bus into town. I got down to the stop and then 1 minute later it showed up. I took that for like 35 minutes into town. Got off at the beautiful hotels and walked down the rode to LATIN GRILL. It was a buffet place that had people walking around with BBQ meats. Peter was there for the beef and just kept eating beef. The one i realy liked was the LAMB. Oh man...was it good.
The owner or manager came to our table with a skewer and spoke to us in Chinese briefly because I dont think he speaks english. He is from one of the Spanish speaking countries in the New World as far as I could tell. Echo was amazed. "Wow, he knows some chinese. Do you think he know Chinese?" Duh. Peter said, "Lets see. He is the owner/manager of a large resturant in Guangzhou and he doesnt' seem to speak English, i am guessing he has to know Chinese a little bit."
Its that Chinese arrogance that just still irritates me. I spoke with Ben about it and he said it took him almost 2 years to get over and accept that mindset. He was like, they are ingrained with this belief since they are kids that Chinese people are naturally more clever, that their culture is so complex, and that the language is so hard that only Chinese people can learn it. Most of Ben's students were amazed with the fact that he was able to get around Guangzhou. They would say, "If you want to go downtown, how do you do it?" -The same way as you, Nits!
As I have told a couple people, I haven't found the language too difficult. The problems I have is finding a teacher thats useful and the other problem is that every 10 feet people speak a different dialect. Also the fact that chinese people don't believe forgeiners can speak Chinese doesn't help when you first start talking to them in Chinese.
So, after lunch, Peter and Echo went off to a job interview. Nick and I went to the big computer center. It was nice, but alot of junk. Neither of us bought anything and it started raining. So we were like...lets just go. There is nothing to do in Guangzhou if you don't need to shop. Yuppers.
I headed back to the bus stop to wait for the 201. It was pouring rain and of course, the bus stop for the 201 wasn't across the street from the other 201 stop since that would make sense, so I had to run thru the rain to find the right stop and on top of that, I missed the 201 bus. So i had to wait for another 30 minutes for the next one. I don't know why it was only 1 per 30 minutes, the damn 220 was coming every 3 minutes. Argh.
So i got back to Ben's apartment around 4pm.
I sat around with Ben's folks, Seth, and Will while they watched Drunken Master while Ben and XiaoHong dissappeared. I finally told Ben I needed to head out. Ben went with me to the bus station that I was supposed to go to originally and i got a ticket for 530pm. We chatted and stuff. I left and apparently this bus station and area is the Ass End of Guangzhou...well, the East end. The farthest from Xiaolan. It took about 2.5 hours to get back. Almost an hour to get thru Guangzhou and its suburbs. The bus was playing "A World Without Thieves". It seemed pretty good. Andy Lau movie.
I got back to my place and uploaded one of the movie tapes as I watched TV and fooled around with nothing. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:58 AM | Permalink

Woke up early again today and left Yumi sleeping. I got to Ben's at 830AM. I figured by now, the chinese family would be all over this place. I showed up and Ben was all dressed and surprised I was the first. He was like...I was reading a book. ...must be nervous. About 9AM the chinese family came over and proceeded to decorating his apartment. It was interesting because they would come to him and say something wasn't right and he would call XiaoHong and talk to her and then give them an answer. The most important room was the bedroom. The family puts down new sheets and decorates it to the 9s. They started freaking out because the pillows weren't new so one of the ladies went off to buy new pillows. I got some really good shots. There was a little boy, that according to Ben, was not supposed to be there. He was just like one of my kindergarten kids only more crazy. Ben calls him "Monster". There were a bunch of XIao Hongs family. A cousin, close friend...called Karaoke Guy, his wife, and the monster boy, Her mom, dad, and her dad's 3 sisters. One of the 3 sisters who looked as though she was wearing pajamas, whenever I was in the room with her an my camera, she was just staring at me with this huge smile. I think she makes it on film doing the same thing as well. Its kinda funny.
Oh, this was the first time I got a chance to try out my chinese Zhongshan Suit. It fit pretty good. However, it was muggy today and for some reason, chinese don't like to close sliding doors when they go out onto the porch and then back into the apartment. I don't know how many times I had to go back and close doors others had opened up. Normally I prolly wouldn't, but we had about 20+ people in this apartment and it was getting to be a steam bath. Keeping doors closed and the AC on is a good thing.
Around 11AM we headed out to go pick up Xiao Hong. We got downstairs and as we walked to the car, all of Ben's studnets were outside watching him and clapping. All the girls were screaming and fawning like during Beatlemania. As we got close to the car, I was like, "Ben, which one is the mob boss?" He said the guy in the black shirt. He was a quiet guy. He stood off behind the other drivers and had was holding his hands just under his stomach. All the other drivers were running around n shouting. Kinda an interseting site. He seemed like he may have command of these folks.
So we got to the hotel to pick up XiaoHong. We went to the 15th floor where we were walking down the hall while the cleaners were vaccuuming and everything. They saw us coming down the hall so they shut things off. We got to the last room and the room where the guys were bribing the bridesmaids to let him in to see Xiaohong. I told them to offer 1RMB and if they say "no", start walking away. It seems to work whereever I go. :D They actually tried it. Awesome. Ben proceeded to sing a song. And after some time they let him in. The room was pretty small for about 12 people standing in the same place. Xiaohong sat in between the two beds looking absolutely beautiful in her dress. Ben had to search for her shoe. He found it behind the telephone next to the bed. We then took her back to the apartment.
Back at the apartment, more people had shown up. Ben's folks, Yumi, and a few others. There, we took some fotos, and had sweet soup. Then the family did the Tea Pouring Ceremony. The kids getting married would pour tea to the parents asking for the blessing. They also did it with the rest of Xiao Hongs family: the three aunts and the close friend's family. Then we had some dumplings for lunch. After some time of just hanging out, the bridal party left to go back to the hotel to prepare the reception n stuff. We got to chill in this nice big private room.
Then came the time. They greeted the guests and received little red packets. Then as dinner started, this was sort of a hellish time for me videotaping because no one told us what was going on. THere is a reason why people in the US do wedding rehearsals. They came down the aisle and stood up and started giving a speech. I was like NOOOO!! I was running out of tape. So I made a quick change that surprisingly went pretty well. Watching it while I was downloading it made me surprised. I kept the camera pretty darn steady and focused on the right thing.
After their speeches they cut a cake,that nobody ate. Then dinner started. Then the bride and groom went to each table and they did shots of Beiju and Vodka. Then they just went aroudn chatting with people. Some people gave speeches and I got people to wish goodluck and things.
It was getting late and people had started to leave. Yumi looked bored and my job was prety much done with for the nite so we left and Ben paid me. Pretty kool.
I told Ben that I needed to go somewhere tmorrow at 12 to meet some friends and he was like, "Sure, just leave your stuff at my place and we wil check you out."
Well, Goodnite all.

Posted by Phil at 11:33 AM | Permalink

Well, most of the day I just spent preparing for the wedding. I went to the gym, got stuff together and watched some of The 36th Chamber of Shaolin in chinese. I understood about 10% of the language they were saying. I didint watch all of it...just some.
I went to the bus station at about 6pm and Yumi and I got tix for 625pm to the station that Ben told us to go to. The bus station that he told us to go to was on the East side of Guangzhou, whcih is the farthest from Xiaolan. Took 2.5 hours, but about 1.5 hours to hit the Guanzhou area. We finally got to the bus station and I called Ben. He couldn't come to get me because he was really busy. He talked to some of the taxi people and found out we were at a different bus statoin. Looks like the bus cut us short. So we took a taxi there. Ben met up with us and took us to the hotel, then to his apartment. And then he walked us down to get some food. He went off to do some things.
After dinnre, Yumi came back to th ehotel and I went to meet with Ben and his two American friends. Seth and Will. Well, will came to the US when he was like 9 or 10. They were roomates together at UCLA.
We spent some time just hanging out and chatting. it was nice. Seth is in China just travelling and not having any plans about it. Just going where he's going. I would like to do that, but I was raised to make sure I have a plan about things. Kinda frusttrating in China when you can't make definite plans.
Well, time for bed. I got a long day tomorrow.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:02 PM | Permalink

Well, most of the day I just spent preparing for the wedding. I went to the gym, got stuff together and watched some of The 36th Chamber of Shaolin in chinese. I understood about 10% of the language they were saying. I didint watch all of it...just some.
I went to the bus station at about 6pm and Yumi and I got tix for 625pm to the station that Ben told us to go to. The bus station that he told us to go to was on the East side of Guangzhou, whcih is the farthest from Xiaolan. Took 2.5 hours, but about 1.5 hours to hit the Guanzhou area. We finally got to the bus station and I called Ben. He couldn't come to get me because he was really busy. He talked to some of the taxi people and found out we were at a different bus statoin. Looks like the bus cut us short. So we took a taxi there. Ben met up with us and took us to the hotel, then to his apartment. And then he walked us down to get some food. He went off to do some things.
After dinnre, Yumi came back to th ehotel and I went to meet with Ben and his two American friends. Seth and Will. Well, will came to the US when he was like 9 or 10. They were roomates together at UCLA.
We spent some time just hanging out and chatting. it was nice. Seth is in China just travelling and not having any plans about it. Just going where he's going. I would like to do that, but I was raised to make sure I have a plan about things. Kinda frusttrating in China when you can't make definite plans.
Well, time for bed. I got a long day tomorrow.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:02 PM | Permalink

Went ot gong fu tonite. Just practiced what I learned yesterdya.
To tell you the truth, I can't really remember what happened today. because I am writing this almost a week later.
Sorry.
Nothing super spectacular happened today. If I remeber anytihng, I will write it down.
well, goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:14 PM | Permalink

Did most of what I did on Monday, only today I had class at 430pm with the little kids. it was great to work wtih them one last time. Gonna miss those kids. I brought in my camera for one last time. It was fun.
I shaved today. First time in like 1 month or so. So weird to see your full face agian. Also took off my sideburns. Yumi made fun of me because i got rid of my sideburns. She told me I look like a little boy. So i whimpered and sulked in the corner.
i thne had lessons with Daisy and my chinese lesson. Pretty good.
Went to gym too. I went to gong fu. Sifu wasnt'er there, but his daughter was and recieved orders to teach me more of Chang Quan.
It was funny. Victor kept teasing her about teaching me or something so I pants him. Then he tried pantsing me a couple times and utterly failed.
Chang Quan has a lot to it. Its sad that my muslce are sore from all the running.
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 03:56 PM | Permalink

Today, well, went to the gym like most of these days which I had time off during the day. Sat around, did laundry. Did some chinese.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 03:55 PM | Permalink

Went to Shenzhen with Yumi today. We met up with her friend Noriko. We shopped alot today. When we got into town we met her at an Indian Curry resturant. It was good but slid right thru me.
The taxi took us from the bus station. He took a shortcut thru a parking garage. That was weird.
What did I buy.... a movie that sux (didn't know at the time), a Chen Style Taiji Instructional VCD, and a pair of nice sandals for 65RMB. Pretty good.
While Yumi was buying something for a student in the bookstore, i was in the music store downstairs jamming on a Starsign imitation of a Worlock. I had the guy plug it in, and I had a group of chinese watching me play a crappy instrument. It was sad. It looked great, was only 750RMB, but it could not hold a tune at all. It kept popping out anytime i would bend a string. so sad. And it was all greasy.

Posted by Phil at 03:48 PM | Permalink

Well, today was my last class for the saturday kindergarten.
Didn't do much else today.
Smell ya later.

Posted by Phil at 03:44 PM | Permalink

Well, today was the last day of my teaching at good old De Xing Xiao Xue. I was hoping it would feel different, but not really. All my classes went pretty well. Enjoyable and fun and full of reveiwing extasty. Here are the fotos of all my class that I have been taking all week. Class Fotos.
After my last class, I went to the office to say goodbye to anyone I needed to. Lily was the only one there. I asked, "Is there anything left for me to do?" She was like, "Do you have to teach class?" -"No, I just finished." She was like, (i think she didn't know what was going on), "Oh, ok, well, see you later." And she walked away. I was like...hmmm.... I mean, I don't really expect much of anything, but I just figured that on my last day of teaching, they would do something because thats what I am accostmed to in the US. It just felt weird. Last day teaching...and no celebration. Strange. I guess they figure they will do that at the end of the school year dinner. Who knows.
During the last class with the 3rd graders, I was doing review, and I was going over shoes, socks, skirt, etc. And usually when I do these types of lessons, i get a model from the class and put him on the desk and use them. But since there were no girls with skirts and chinese kids go nuts when you start cross dressing, i threw a boy up there and used their school jacket as a makeshift skirt tied around his waist. i then gave him an umbrella and a chiense fan. The kids loved it. He was in embarrassment heaven. it ruled. Check out the foto in to class fotos.
I had kindergarten and it went pretty good. I was all energetic to go to the class as well. I was excited to teach them, but after class...i was totally spent. So tired. I couldn't believe at how much life those kids suck out of you. These were the older kids. The younger ones don't do it as much, its the older ones. They are a bunch of small succubi these kids...without the sexual part - at all. They just suck the life out of you. Kinda like psychic vampirism.
In the evening was the Government/Bond dinner that they have at the beginning and end of each semester. John Zhang, the boss, was there along with Stephen from Governments Education Department. The food was good. I chatted it up with Amanda. She brought my contract addendum that said my termination date was going to be August 14th so that I can take my 2 weeks unpaid vacation the first 2 weeks of August. I will use this time to spend the whole month at the Shaolin Temple. Should be interesting. Found out some more about Summer Camps and of course, not much was known and who was gonna work in where.
Moses gave a goodbye speech basically saying that he is going back to the USA for 2 months, then coming back to meet up with Amy and get married. He doesn't know whether they will stay here in Xiaolan. Most likely not.
John also gave a little speech. He spoke on a couple things. First, he mentioned to say that BOND now has the authority given by the government to recruit foreign teachers legally. He said, after a few hours of their inspection of the business in Shiqi, they have granted us the right to do so. On the inside, I , along with Peter, laughed our asses off. I wonder how much money they were bribed with. Thats basically what they mean. I mean, BOND has had close ties to the gov. all along, but they were never official. Like they would be brought down even if they didn't become legal. Such a joke. John used this time to let everyone know that the government was gonna start cracking down on schools that recruit teachers illegally...like BOND was before they bribed the right people....and he wanted to re-iterate the importance of us, if we move on to other schools in the country, or if we have friends coming from the USA to teach, make sure they are with registered schools.
My answer to that is, its hard to find out who is registered or not when the schools lie about it...like BOND did.
Second thing was this. John started it out like this, "A teacher who will not be named...." but he then gave tons of evidence to make all of us know who it was. Classy.
Anywho, James, the crazy Londoner guy that reminds me of the psycho soccer hooligan in Trainspotting, who I have met only 2x but I got that impression right away when I met him. It was a vibe. He didn't do anything to make me think it. But at the soccer game at the 2one1 Bar when they had a screen of the game, he did jump up and down and hug Miguel's head and kiss the bald part. Anywho, he went to HK about 1.5 weeks ago or so for a VISA or something. The people at BOND got a fone call a couple days later after he was supposed to be back from the UK Counsellate saying they had a person with no passport, $1 HK, and the clothes on his back claiming he was a teacher at your school. So, John talked with James...jeez, sounds like a Bilblical Gospel. He was stranded and needed $2500 HK to get things taken care of. So, John went to western Union with enuff RMB for a HK transfer, but WESTERN UNION only does US currency, so they needed to convert it and convert it back, which wasted a bunch of cash.
He got all his junk taken care of and came back to Xiaolan. Only he got back really late and he had no key. He rang the door a bunch of times for awhile and John, his flat mate was sleeping, and was woken up after awhile. So, he opened the door. And apparently James was mad cause he was out there for awhile ringing. James punched John in the face. John wrote a message to John Zhang and told him what happened. John Zhang all told us about this during dessert. He was like, "What do I have to do with this teacher but terminate his contract. Luckily the housemate was not hurt."
I didn't hear about that. Crazy.
Well, dinner was great. I am in a food coma. GOodnite.

Posted by Phil at 02:05 PM | Permalink

Its been raining more than a week in this area of Guangdong. Most areas. However, HK was great. well, the first day was. And the humidity, man, its tiring me out big time. I just want to sit in an AC room and do nothing.
Morning class with the 3rd graders was loud and uncontrollable. I took their picture.
Went to the gym at lunch and while running, my foot cramped up. I was pissed.
When I got back from lunch as I was heading to my desk, one of my 6th grade students, one of the ones that sat in the front of class and was relatively good compared to the rest of kids was standing at her homeroom teacher's desk staring at the desk while this lady was screaming at her and pushing/poking her head with her finger. Thats a common occurence when an adult scolds a child here. That or they hit them and slap them, I see kids with bruises all the time. There was a girl in my class yesterday who had the whole right side of her face puffed up and she used her hair to cover it up. I think that was a dental issue, not so much a parental beating. But back to the girl in the office. Her mom was the one screaming at her and doing this. In front of all the teachers. I was like, "Jeez, if you yell at your kid, do it in the privacy of your home. Screaming at them in public to try and gain face doesn't help their development." I asked Anna what was going on. Apparently, this girl did something bad or wrong, I don't know which. Whether it was intentional or not, but anywho, I have seen this girl all the time, she seems nice and all, I have never had any problems with her. She's not one that I would think would get in trouble. But the cause of the screaming was this.... The girl did something bad that made the homeroom teacher call in her mother. But then the girl said, "Please don't call my mother and have her come here. She's ugly." So, that was the cause of the screaming. The daughter didn't want her mother to come to school because she was ugly. The teachers told the mom all about her bad deeds in class and then this extra thing and the mom went off. She lost face from her daughter saying she was ugly and she tried to gain it back by scolding her in front of everyone. Personally, I don't see how that regains any face to the mother. It makes her look...well...ugly. But, the chinese have a very different and odd culture. In fact, I have seen this more than a dozen times.
Afternoon 5th grade classes were great. I did review and got to use the over-head computer projectors. Those things rule. I want to buy one. The photos of the classes were good. I am gonna miss those two 5th grade classes.
After all my classes were done I chatted with Anna and Coco about the screaming lady and I mentioned that I thought it was horrible to do something like that to your child in front of everyone like that and I mentioned I have seen it before. They laughed and they said they totally agreed with me. Then they said, the mother has problems, then they said. "Koi hai chi-seen." (she is crazy). I then headed home and practiced some chinese lessons since I had no Kindergarten class.
Then, at 5pm, Mountain calls me. "Where are you?" I am at home, why? "You have class right now?" I do? Wing told me, many times yesterday that yesterday was my last day. "Did you look at the schedual that Wing gave you?" Yes, I did, and it confused me and then Wing explained the schedual and said I didnt have class anymore. "Ahh.............did you look at the schedual?" Yes, I did, it confused me and Wing said I had no more class after yester... *click*. About 1 minute later, Mountain called back again, "Can you go and teach." Yup, I am on my way out. "You can teach till 6pm" No problem.
It really wasn't a problem. I just had to cancel my lesson with Daisy.
Teaching the kids was no problem and I enjoyed it, I actually was happy that I would have a couple more days with them. I got them saying "How old are you?" and "I'm 3/4/5!" So cute. Only problem was that I was preparing to go to 6pm and the teacher pointed to her watch at 530pm.... UGGH!!!!
Communication sucks in this place!*
I headed home afterwards so I could get some things done and work on my chinese and some other stuff for Megan, Amy, and Moses leaving.
Well, goodnite.
*and yes, to all you people that wish to lecture me, I know there are communication problems everywhere else in the world. but i never have had this issues ever before. So don't bother. And don't ever call me a racist.

Posted by Phil at 07:13 PM | Permalink

Well, the beginning of the day was normal with Lily's 5th grade. They were good, but i couldn't get them to put their noses' on the chalkboard, they were much more defiant. Which is good. sorta. I took pictures of the classes and they enjoyed it.
I headed home during lunch.
When I got back to school, one of the 6th graders from yesterday, Cagny, stopped by to drop me off a letter. It was cute. And it was asking to be penpals in the future. It had some info on their for me to fill out which I did.
First 6th grade class was a bust. As usual. I didn't bother to take a foto with me in it. I just took their foto. And about 4 girls that don't like me because I have a tendency to kick them out of class, refused to get in the foto. Fine with me, i don't need your mugs breaking the camera lens anyway.
Between the two classes, i ran to get some more money for my phone SIM card. I then met up with Amy and we called the Gong Fu schools around the Shaolin Temple. This was interesting. It was a wild goose chase to get the right fone numbers. Things have changed in that area extensively in the past year. China is razing all the schools around the temple and re-locating them because they want to make Shaolin a World HEritage Site. They are destroying more history in their striving to become modern and appease the modern world. I guess they get benefits from doing it though. Oh well.
Chatted a bit with them.
Then went back to class where I was supposed to be doing a review of Units 1-6. May had to skip class because of an emergency. During class, I didn't get past unit 1. At all. After about 15 minutes I went to get a chinese teacher, no one came. so i went back up to the room, took their picture and left.
I am soooo glad to be done with those two wretched 6th grade classes. I sat at my desk for another 15 minutes while I filled out that form for Cagny. Then I realized her name is Katherine. Wow. Not Cagny....Katherine...wow. Here's what she wrote:

Dear Mr. Phil,
My English name is Katherine Lee. My Chinese name is.....
You are a good English teeacher. Can I ask you a question. Where did you come from? How old are you? Can you write your detailed address with me? When are you go to your country? Cna I go your home? Thank you.
After you back to USA. Let's be pen-friend. OK? My detailed address is. ..........
Don't forget me. Forever Friends. I love you. You must be don't forget me and write a letter for me.
To:
Best Wishes!
The same to you!
May the friendship between our two peoples be everlasting.
All the best wishes to you!
Tomorrow will be better!

Yours,
Katherine Lee

That's adorable. I blushed.
Afterwards, I had kindergarten with the older class. It was ok. Wing left at 5pm because she had a doctors appointment. Moutain had emailed me yesterday that he would get down to business with discovering my kindergarten plight. Wing brought in a schedual written by Mountain referring to the rest of my kindergarten class. At first i didn't understand it and after Wing explained it I still didn't quite understand. The dates were set from June 27th - July 1st, but Wing kept saying and insisting that today was my last day teaching at the Kindergarten. "What? You mean, this is it? WTF!? Why? Why not the rest of the week?" So bizarre! Also, Wing gave me a package that finally arrived from home. My mom sent some Christmas Stolen that was left in the freezer. Still good. Yummy!
I want to teach at least the rest of the week. I felt bad because I wasn't able to prepare for my kids a goodbye lesson. Phooey.
Its the chinese way I guess. I can't be too upset about it.
I got home and the big house residents, Robert, Megan, Amy, Moses, Nick, and me (along with Yumi) went out to dinner. It was some good food. Megan, Moses, and Amy leave saturday. Moses will go back to the US for a bit, Amy will go home, and Megan will go to Beijing to their new apartment and take care of things while looking for a job before Nick shows up to do some schedualing at the college he is going to in the fall. Nick will head out in 2 weeks for a couple weeks then back here then back to Beijing.
After dinner we all went to get some ice cream and we all had some of the stolen that just arrived for dessert.
Yumi and I were heading home and we tried to get a box taxi since it was raining and there were two of us. Yumi asked, "How much." The guy looked at her, then to me. He stared at me for a distinct moment and then said 10rmb. Yumi got pissed and we began to walk away and the guy shouted back "how much?" She said, "5rmb", he then said 6rmb, and I thought Yumi accepted it because she stepped onto the bike. Ok. no problem. 6 is fine. As we were in the bike, the guy said something to Yumi, then Yumi got visibly pissed, "He just said, 'We are rich thats why I said 10.'" I laughed when I heard that. I wish I could speak well enuff to tell him, "If we were rich, we wouldn't be taking a taxi, jackass. We would have a motorcycle or a car." The standards in this country are so different. I usually expect this kind of treatment but Yumi gets angry when they do it...rightfully so.
It seems that whenever I write about something like this in my journal though, someone always has to explain to me why they overcharge....i friggin' know why they do. I ain't ignant. And then they go on to say, "You don't think this happens in the USA or in other countries?" OF COURSE IT DOES! But because it happens all over the world doesn't mean its right or that should give these people the incentive to continue with bad business.
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 07:05 PM | Permalink

Today went well, i guess.
Both 4th grades were switched iwth each other for some reason not explained to me. I brought in my digital camera to take fotos of all my classes since this will be the last week with these kids. Cna you believe that? Damn. I watched a bit of my recent DVD of my new kindergarten classes on it, and I started to shed a drunken tear as I watched them running and shouting and running up and huggin my legs...in hopes that I will pick them up and swing them around in the air.
Anywho. I am doing reviews in all my classes, just doing a crash course thru all the lessons. I then take a foto at the very end of the class. Thats interesting. Huge classes trying to cram them in a small corner for 5 minutes. I have endured crap from alot, but I am gonna miss them...its wierd that way. I don't know what it is.
During lunch i went running while listening to Pimsleur Mandarin lesson and practicing on the treadmill. INeresting.
Afternoon classes were good with 6th grade. They had a harder time doing the nose on the chalkboard trick to get them speaking English. Whenever someone would go up, all the kids stopped what they were doing to watch. In doing so, I was able to snag a couple that would laugh at the student in front of class and they would say something in Chinese so I would snag them and make them do it.
the class alwasy loved that.
I took fotos with and of them.
In my 1st 6th grade class...the trouble makers...also the ones that actually only really participated in the class, mobbed me during the foto.
Kindergarten went ok. I tried teaching them "How old ar you" and "He/She". It was tuff.
they aren't 2-4 year olds...they are 3-5 year olds...just found that out today. Wing had a sore throat.
Lessons with Daisy didn't go very well. I almost passed out i was soo tired.
Chiense lesson was interesting, I think the teacher wants to start teaching me how to read. Kool. Lets see how that goes.
The rest of the day i spent doing thingys.
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:51 PM | Permalink

I have been meaning to mention this. For about the past month or couple weeks, whatever, members of the House...the Big House...of Bond...not the House of Representatives in the US.... but anywhays. Here goes. Since no one has been able to seem to get a hold of the 6 Feet Down Under series Season 3, from HBO. They got addicted to NBC's West Wing...i think its NMC....NBC> Anywho. The sow is kinda interestings. But its such propaganda bullshit. Whenever I have a break in what I am doing, an they be watching it all intently like, I will sit down and sit in on a viewing. I don't know what political affiliation I sit with anymore, but man...this hunk of crap reeks of bias and propaganda. I asked Robert today....well, I didn't ask him, it was more of like...stating fact. All of the films and TV shows made of the presidency that are suppose to be positive representations of the government (not including that Reagan Biopic which got booted off the air by Republicans claiming that it was offensive towards Reagan and untrue) they are all based on Democrats. "Primary Colors", "The American President", "The West Wing"....as far as "Dave" is concerned...i can't remember if he was a Democrat or Republican ...but whatever...
if you can't tlel,, I am a bit drunk. I was realizxing from a long day and I had a 40oz of Pabst Blue Ribbon baby, along with a can of pineapple beer...plus some nuts. Watching this hunk of poo while inebriated makes it much more enjoyable, and you forget about the bias and all that junk, and its kinda gripping... all the characters are 1 Dimensional and fake. Unlike 6 Feet Down Under wher ethey seem to be more realistic.
There is so much in this show. "You are the good guys, you shouldn't be resorting to tactics like this"....that was a response from a hooker on the show. They show republicans as evil and democrats as good. It just gets on my nerves sometimes. And I feel bad because the foreginers in the hosue watching this show may get the wrong idea.
Things I want to see in this show.... 1. The president vomiting on the Japanese Prime Minister. 2. The president getting a hummer from the intern....wait, actually, I wouldn't want to see that....cause the president is old and fat and the intern is a young black man. 3. The president almost dying from choking on a pretzel. Of course, they do show the president almost dying in this...but its etheir from MS or from a sniper missing his target of the young black intern who is dating the president's daughter.
Man...what is up with this show. Make it realistic for Heaven's sake. Its much more endurable while drunk. "Hello, I'm Martin Sheen, I ain't he president but I play one on TV...so I know everything about foreign policy."
Mindless Self INdulgence RUELZ!

Posted by Phil at 12:30 PM | Permalink

Well, this morning, I was planning on getting up early to go to Kowloon park to check out everyone doing Taiji. But I slept thru it...i was tired. I got my stuff together and took it down to the bell service so they could check it and watch over it all day. I then went and had some dim sum. I then checked out.
I headed out about 1045AM for the UA Times Square. Batman Begins at 1135AM. (you like how I did that)
That movie ruled! It was the first time in a long time that I wanted to go right out after the movie finished and buy another ticket to watch it again. I was very impressed. It was really good. Bale was awesome, Michael Cane...obviously, same with Gary Oldman. There were only 3 things I felt any sort of negativity towards, but nothing that deters from the film. 1. The beginning where Bruce is in prison and how quickly Ducard shows up and gets into things. 2. The lack of the Batman Intro Theme by Danny Elfman. Its just synonymous with Batman. They shoulda kept it. 3. The very end and how they plan to go in to the sequel.
But thats all. It was fantastic.
After wards, I contemplated buying another ticket for the 445pm show after my Sin City gets out, but that would get me out of the movie att 715pm and I prolly wouldn't make my ferry. Darn it.
Sin City was good too. Hell, I was contemplating changing my ticket, but I am glad i got to see Sin City in the theatre.
After that, I shopped around a bit more. Went to Pizza Hut for some lackluster pizza. I was disappointed. After that, got some ice cream. Headed to Tom Lee again to oogle over all the Gretsch Guitars n stuff.
Then headed back to the hotel where the internet was so I could check my mail and message some people that I needed too.
I took off from BP around 730pm and got to the ferry 10 minutes later. Took me a minute to get thru customs. Got on the boat and relaxed.
On the way home there were 2 poor souls that boarded the wrong ferry. A japanese girl and an australian man. They were supposed to go from HK to Macau, but they got on the wrong boat, and of course, the chinese/hong kong people working the boat didn't check their tickets or passport at the door like they are supposed to. They had to spend the nite on the ferry in Zhongshan port because the doesn't have a new Chinese Visa that would work. Apparently, earlier that day, they left China for HK, and then were supposed to go to Macau. They had plane tickets from Macau to Malaysia schedualed for midnite. So they missed their flight. They weren't really angry...just furstrated and I bet they felt like crap. Well, i bet they were angry. We were only about 5-10 minutes out of port when they found out their folly. The ferry boat wouldn't turn the ferry around at all. I think in that situation, only that far out, they should have turned around. I don't see a problem with being a little late to Zhongshan if its too help them. But then again, they would have still missed their ferry to Macau, but they could have taken a bus or something. I would have been pissed. But in that situation though, I don't believe they knew that it was the boat's job to do all that checking of passports and tickets and that the boat people are partly at fault. Both the travellers and boat people were at fault, and the ferry had a message in english saying that this boat was going to Zhongshan, China, not Macau. They were sitting right behind me.
Everyone gets screwed over in this country at some point or another.
I got back to the house around 1045pm. Time for bed. sleepy.

Posted by Phil at 04:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

We woke up and headed out to Tom Lee music to pick up the guitar cases first. Man, that place is beautiful. So many nice guitars. I drool whenever I go in there. I picked up two cases. 1 hard case for the Les Paul and 1 soft case, but has tons of padding, for the Randy Rhodes. I picked some strap saver knobs for the guitar.
After that we headed back to the hotel to leave the guitars and have lunch. We had dim sum in the hotel resturant. Good stuff.
The rest of the day we went all over the city shopping and looking for gifts and a black dress for Yumi, she wants one.
She feels much better today.
We had some afternoon snacks at Haagen Daas. Some nice sundaes n stuff.
We found some gifts n junk. It was good.
We went back to the hotel about 715pm so she could get her stuff and we laid down for about 5 minutes then we went to the ferry port where I stayed until she got thru customs n everything.
After that I hopped a subway train to the KCR Rail to head up to Sha Tin stop. There they have a UA Cinemas that was playing the only Star Wars ROTS. Started at 920pm. Man, the mall this place was connected to, the New Face Plaza or some crap like htat. No signs and know one I asked new. I ended up walking around in a circle before finding it. And actually getting there is a straight shoot from the KCR Station. KCR is an underground and sometimes aboveground train. Its really fast.
Anywho, I was worried that I may be cutting it too close on the time. The movie gets out about 1140pm and I keep hearing that the last train is about 12AM so i was worried i wouldn't get back intime. I would be stuck in the New Terretories and would need to take a taxi. I don't know how much that would be. Turns out that I needn't worry. The last train was at 1AM.
I was in the clear.
Seeing ROTS on a big screen in English helps alot. I felt it was really good. Also ,I tried not to over analyze it so it was very enjoyable...despite all the crappiness that was contained in it. It was very good. But still...at that climax...i couldn't help but cringe at Hayden's line delivery...for that matter James Earl Jones playing Frankenstein.
Anywho. It was good and I am glad I made it out there. I was afraid I wouldn't be abel to make it out there.
I stay up late watching some british version of Inside the Actor's Studio...but this was some guy named Parkinsons....the guy looked as though he may have it too.
Anywho, Tom Cruise and Billy Connelly were on. It was pretty funny and interesting. Man, Tom Cruise looks and acts the same way in real life as he does in movies....
Also, Asian MTV is behind by one month. They were playing commericals for the MTv Movie Awards on June 6th.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:10 AM | Permalink

Most of this morning was done with preparing things for HK and DVD burning after finishing the DVD last nite. I picked up my new glasses.
There are sorta good. But i think they are too small and if I look down or up at all, I lose the benefits of having glasses. As for them working, I think there is something wrong, something just doesn't feel right and its impossible to explain it to these people running the shop.
Class at 3pm was ok. I took my guitars and stuff with me. After the end at 345pm I booked it over to the Ju Cheng Hotel to meet Yumi and the van to the Ferry port.
I got there just a bit before 4pm and found out the shuttle left at 430pm. Yumi showed up about 410. We just sat and relaxed. Her speech contest went well. Her student took 1st place.
The shuttle came and took us. We arrived about 5 minutes before the ferry left for HK. Traffic and the 430pm arrival of the shuttle caused that.
On the boat they were playing some Stephen Chow movie. Maybe the gambling series he ripped off of Chow Yun Fat. He had mental powers along with the villians and from what I could tell, he goes back in time. What I saw was funny.
Yumi got sick on the ferry boat. I tried to help, but I couldn't do anything. Whenever she felt really bad from the rocking, she would latch onto one of my limbs and squeeze. OUCH!
We got to HK and once we were on land she got better with every minute. We got to the BP International Hotel, which is a very nice place. Very nice. The same price as King Hotel, but much more space in the rooms and more navigatable. I have realized, the hotels in HK have something for making bathrooms designed in Art Deco. Interesting.
Yumi fell asleep right away. I went downstairs to ask some questions on the locals of different areas...and of course...subway/train stops for movie theatres.
I checked the internet they have at the bar lounge, they had two computers and while I was waiting I had some nice Guiness and some fish and chips. Good stuff. Got some info from the web and got more info from the Bell Service desk.
I then headed back tot he room where Yumi was passed out, but feeling better. They Daily Show Global Edition was playing on Pearl TV. Sweet. I got to watch that. Very funny. It was highlights of a weeklong watch on Wacko Jacko. They had some footage of the news shows covering everything. It was hilarious the crap they were watching and saying. SO pathetic.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:56 AM | Permalink

Well today was ok. I had no problems with my classes at all. I hit up the gym. Etc. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Tonite was the celebration for Moses and Amy since they are leaving next Saturday morning. I swear, I don't know what I am going to do without Amy. She has been a Godsend. She has help lots of us out with interpretting things. She is very good. I had thought that we would be celebrating next Friday, the nite before they leave, but Moses changed it at the last moment. So, I had no time to prepare some Rice Puddin' or get any gifts. Thats what I was planning on doing in HK this weekend.
Yumi was really busy yesterday and today preparing for her school's Japanese Speech contest. That craphole of a school is working her too hard and too much. She can barely do anything but sleep outside of school. Makes me want to break some legs. Because of that, Yumi was unable to attend the festivities. She called me up as we were at the beer gardens and said she would stop by for like 5 minutes.
When she finally did show up, it was to say that she had to go home and go to bed. That school is taking away her precious "Phil-time". ;-)
The beer gardens was good. First time I was able to drink lots in awhile. Alot of folks were there. Glenn, Miguel, Ash, Debbie, Shevon, Moses, Amy, Richard, New John, Mountain, Damon, Megan, Nick, Jolene, a new girl from France...she is teaching in Shiqi, Valery (sp?)
Miguel and a few of the others are going to Macau tomorrow so they were asking me questions on what to do.
I didn't get home until about 2AM.
It was good.
Sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 10:35 AM | Permalink

Went to the gym this morning at 8Am. It was good.
Classes today went fine.
I video taped myself in front of the green chalkboard in Kindergarten class today. I did so, because I wanted to use the Chroma Key function on Final Cut Pro to overlay me onto the DVD footage I am making. Basically, its like a green or blue screen. YOu cut out all the green and you place yourself over the footage. I shot some footage.
Of course. It didn't work. There were too many shades of green on there and I couldn't remove them all.
UGH! so frustrating. I could have had this DVD finished last week but I wanted todo this. Oh well.
Instead I just copied a picture of my head ala "Game of Death" style to a scene.
Its been raining all day. Didnt go to gong fu.
Sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 10:52 AM | Permalink

Morning class with 5th graders went fine. Its liquid hot today. You step outside of your AC-ed room, and you immediately start sweating. And this was just in the house. It was cloudy all day today. Between my two 5th grade classes I went to get paid and talked to Gary about my teaching status on July 1st. I have to teach, so I asked Gary if I could have someone sub for me because of the wedding I have been invited to videotape. He was like, no problem. Hmm...good. I headed out at lunch to go to the gym. As I finished changing at the gym, it started pouring rain outside. "Good. That'll cool things off a bit," I thought. Nope...it just made it even more humid. I ran for 45 minutes. After I was done, my face was tomato red and i looked like I had been standing in pouring rain for 5 minutes or stood in a shower with my clothes on.
I ate lunch, headed home. As I got home, it started to rain again as I walked in. I showered and prepared for classes. It stopped raining.
How did 6th grade go? Well, you can guess. CRAPPY. During the break between the 6th grade classes, it started pouring rain...hard this time. And it didn't let up until after kindergarten and I didn't bring my umbrella. poop.
In my second 6th grade class, I walked in, and there was a kid in the back of the room clutching his head and crying, while a couple other kids stood around staring. It almost looked as though they would pick up sticks and start to poke him. The homeroom teacher got there the same time I did, apparently some kids went to get her. I tried to get out info on it. The first story I was given by the kids is that he fell out of his chair. The girl made a bodymovement that made me think of....crap...whats the word for when you shake uncontrollably...seizures. Yeah. (sp?). But a girl said no. Then I thought it was because he chair fell apart like so many i have seen do in this school. A kid will be sitting there, not paying attention like usual and the chair will fall apart. Looks like this kid hit his head on the floor.
Later, after the class had calmed down and the boy was led out by some friends. I asked, "Did he slip?" and made the image of me slipping on a banana peel. The kids were like no. A boy jumped up and shouted, "Chinese Gong Fu!" and pointed at another boy in the back of the class. So i was like, "Oooh...fighting." I tried to determine the kid, but everyone was pointing to a couple kids, so I had no idea.
Later in the class, the one i thought it was, was led away to the office by some other students. The second 6th grade class, after that mishap was more enjoyable than the first. There is this super skinny boy who is the class clown, and he is quite funny. He does what I ask, he just overdoes it in a goofy way....hey...at least he's doing it. And he makes the class more enjoyable. So i tolerate it. But during the part where I have kids speak english with each other and boot out kids for a minute if they speak Chinese, i motioned for him to go out, and he had to slip his shoes on first. Which made the class laugh good. As I brought him back in, I tried to take his shoes away from him. He wouldn't let me, so I picked him upside down and took his shoes off and placed him out in the water soaked hallway. The class loved it...and it was fun. I think i have pretty muched given up on teaching in these 6th grade classes. I only have 1.5 weeks left of teaching at this school. Can you believe that? Damn.
After that, i headed to kindergarten where I tried to teach the 12 kid class the Months of the Year. It was interesting. It will take a couple lessons.
On my way to teach Daisy, I got in a bike accident. I was coming around a 75 degrre corner and there was a motor bike there and I went head on into him. Thankfully we were both going slow. I said some naughty things to him in English, but I believe the accident was my fault. As I was coming to the turn, I heard him sound his horn, however, I was already commited to making the turn. So, I guess you could say it was China's fault for having crappy streets. He must have been scared out of his mind. I can see him getting home and dinner..."A fat gweilo pig had a head on collision with me today. He said a bunch of things in English and took off." -"Wow! Dad! You are soooooo lucky! Too bad you weren't playing Mah-jong!" Then his wife would be all bitchy and yell at him for not having better luck all the time.
Man...i'm an ass.
My bike makes a funny sound on the back tire now. dang nabbit.
Taught Daisy. Iwasn't in the best of moods. My lesson consisted of me checking out this website. Hello Han.com . From what I can tell, this is a fantastic online chinese language teaching tool. Check it out.
I came home and sent out some emails n junk to people concerning adoption stories or white people coming to China and picking up their new family additions and how they are greeted by the chinese people when Chinese people see white folks with chinese babies and how they react to the reality that is China. The Chinese don't seem to understand why anyone would adopt orphans. I will see about posting the message. Its quite interesting.
I was about to head out to practice when I had Amy call Guo Sifu to tell him I would be about 20 minutes late and he said not to come because no one had showed up because of all the rain. Man, the chinese are lazy punks. Just take an umbrella while you ride your bike. Jeez.
I also told Ben that I will be free on July 1st to videotape his wedding in Guangzhou. That will rule. I got my first real paying job for a wedding. Its gonna be chinese style too.

The wedding will be China styles. In the morning you
would need to be with XH, as she brushes her
hair and awaits my arrival (tradition). When I get
there (most likely a hotel) I need to bribe her brides
maids to let me in and find her hidden shoe, then take
har back to my pad where our parents will be waiting.
There we pour tea for them and receive the blessing
to wed. Then we go back to the place to eat, which is
called the yin he da jiu dian (yin he hotel), which is
not too far from my place. There merrymaking ensues,
with plenty of food and drink, and if I'm crazy even a
speech or two. You would just have to capture as much
as you can, as well as all the guests (who will be
informed about what you are doing). Then X and I
are supposed to go to our own private room and ...-
you don't get to film that!

Should be interesting. I just hope he rides a horse, or better yet, a donkey thru the streets with the traditional wedding band playing while wearing a black silk outfit with a giant red bow wrapped around his chest. That would rock! I hope there are lion dancers there too...but I dont know. He said they are paying around 36,000RMB on it already. DAMN!
Well, I am off to bed. Goodnite folks.

Posted by Phil at 09:24 PM | Permalink

Well, classes went as usual for a monday. Nothing to exciting. Nothing bad. I couldn't go to Daisy to teach because there was a huge storm brewing. Poured rain and lightning and thunder. Another night where I could go to practice. Man. Bummer. It went on raining for a long time.
Most of the news today was that I transfered all my DVDs that I bought in China...save a couple in which the cover case is too awesome to get rid of. I also put all my Computer software stuff in there as well.
That cut out lots of space and will be easier to transport back to the states.
If I think of anything else, i will report it.
later.

Posted by Phil at 10:03 PM | Permalink

Just spent most of the day preparing and uploading fotos to the website. Along with some DVD work. Alot of laundry was done today. Went to the gym today and while I was running, they had the movie "Twins" on the TV there. It was all in Chinese dub. So, I turned the sound off and filled in the soundtrack with my memory.
Yumi came over about 630pm to take a nap before her class at 8pm. She is always sleepy.
I went to gong fu tonite, but I got there and the place was closed up and two kids hanging out on their bikes trying to see over the wall. At 830pm, nothing change. I headed home. I also erased and re-initialized my crapped out harddrive. So, I lost all the previous data, nothing too important or life threatening.
The day was long with nothing super special going on.
Here are the photo updates.
Weekend get-aways to Shiqi, Macau, and Xiaolan areas
Megan's Birthday
Zhan's Garden

Posted by Phil at 10:25 AM | Permalink

I went to the hospital for the last time today. I fell asleep during the treatments. It was good. I came home and slept more. Yumi and I headed to the bus stop. On the way, I saw a midget driving a box taxi. I got really excited. We hopped a bus to Shiqi at 1pm. When we got there we grabbed some quick lunch. We then snagged a cab to the Zhan Gardens.
The place was just as beautiful during the day as at nite. They also had a performance at 240pm. half of it was the same as I saw last time I was here. The stuff that was the same was the Daisy Dance and the Mask Changer. A new thing was some kid balancing himself on a board and flipping silverware onto his head. The other was a kid placed a funnel on his nose and then put 4 trays with 18 little silver cups on it and rode around on a unicycle.
Nice.
Around 430pm we noticed the sky started to get really dark down to the south, so we felt we must book it before we get drenched on. As we exited, the #22 Bus was driving by and we flagged it down and ran across the highway. We got on the bus and headed to a hotel in town.
It started pouring while we were in the bus. We were let out at a bus stop and ran thru the downpour and hid under a canopy covering the bus stop. I thought the rain would last about 5 minutes like it usually does, but once it started Lightning and thundering, i figured we should flag down a cab. We got one and we dashed into the car. We then drove 2 blocks to the Japanese resturant. This place was great. The food was sooo good. And Yumi said this is what most bars in Japan are like. It was really good.
After that it had finally stopped raining and we took a cab to Jusco where I was gonna buy some stuff, but I got there adnthey didn't have what I wanted, so we left and snagged the 7pm bus back to Xiaolan.
The pictures were great. Check them out. Here.
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 04:01 PM | Permalink

I went to the hospital again today for my knee. It went much quicker this time. For the second bit, where they placed suction cups on my knee, i got to sit in a massage chair. I then headed home.
Yumi went off to pick Lychee with some Japanese friends/government people.
Class at 3pm was good.
On my way out, I met Superman.
Not THE Superman, but a chinese kid whose english name was Superman.
Nice.

Posted by Phil at 05:05 PM | Permalink

Well, I got up today and it was a bright sunny and liquid humid day. Very sticky. I was hoping that class would go ok today, but I got what I thought was a bad omen right at the beginning. As I greeted my first 4th grade class, a girl came in a few seconds after me and a couple of boys scolded her and the third boy said, "_uck You!". I pulled him out of his chair and planned to take him down to the head office. As I was going, Coco was walking to class. She asked me what was the matter. During that second of hesitation while I spoke to Coco, the boy latched onto a metal railing. He would not let go. He did not want to go at all. He was scared. I would pry one hand off the railing and the other one would latch on. He has weight skill. All of a sudden he felt like he was twice is size. He would not let me take him. After about 5 minutes I finally broke him free, but intsead of taking him down, Coco scolded him. The boy was shaking, uncontrollably.
I felt that this was a sign that today was a gonna suck. However, all my classes went really well. Except Kindergarten - which was a major disaster. During my De Xing classes, i had songs in each classes that were of "questions and answers" format. I used this to have the kids get up and act out putting their hand to their ears for the question part and then the answers did jazz hands. It was hilarious.
During lunch, we had BBQ at the house in celebration of Megan's bday. I walked with Megan and Nick to the marketplace to pick up some meat and other stuff. The market place was wild. So much dead flesh. I saw a pigface hanging by a hook. Not a pig's head, but just the skin of the pigs face. Like it was ripped off by Pinhead or something.
BBQ lunch was good.
Afternoon classes were good.
Kindergarten was just terrible. I don't really know how to explain it.
On the way home i saw an interesting sight. A woman on a motorbike had two geese tied at the feet to the back of it. They weren't in a cage, they were just hanging off the back as she was driving away while they were squaking. Bizarre.
Afterwards I just crashed at the house until dinner.
We went to Four Season's Beer Garden to celebrate Megan's bday. There was me, Yumi, Robert, Moses, Amy, Nick, Peter, Mark, Irish John, and three chinese folks. There we had some good dinner and then finished it off with THE BEST cake i have ever had in China. It was wonderful. Sooo good.
Time for bed.

Posted by Phil at 07:20 PM | Permalink

Usually, the rivers flowing thru Xiaolan are flourescent green. Today, they were poop brown and still.
I was able to go to the gym. It was good. Ran for 30 minutes, woulda done an hour but my nips got rubbed raw from my shirt. I need to tape them up next time. I hope nothing else got rubbed raw.
3rd grade was good. Both 5th grades were fine.
I brought my vidcam into kindergarten class to get footage of the 2-4 year olds. I was trying to find a couple of the kids with really bad teeth to show you all, but they were absent today.
I was also given a surprise with a new student. Great. WTF!?
Gong fu was good. While waiting for Sifu to come over to me to see my progress, he spent about 15 minutes yelling at one of the wunderkinden. He just laid it to him and was shouting really loud. The boy just stared at the ground. I wonder what it was about. From the hand motions, I think he may have been pointing at a motorbike that's in the gym area. Maybe this kid took it out for a spin. I dont really know. This was going on while I was stretching. I then learned the beginning of Chang Quan #2. Sweet.
I am off to write a letter of recommendation for Mountain. He is gonna start to look for a new job. All I gots to say to him is..."GOOD! GET OUTTA THIS GO NO WHERE JOB!"
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 09:31 PM | Permalink

First 5th grade class was fine. Lily wasn't there because she was taking some kids to get brainwashed. There were only 30 minutes in class because some kids during morning exercise were being singled out and given awards for something. I pulled my, "English Only or get out" in my first class. And immediately I booted out one of the best students for 1 minute. I had to carry her out. It was quite humorous. No one is safe. But it does get them speaking english. The second class was like the first. They were late by 5 minutes because the film was running long. Lily missed this class as well. I was teaching Holidays and when chinese people try to say Festival...even after lots of practice, it still sounds like they are saying Vegetable. It ruled.
Lunch was ok.
My 6th grade classes were horrible. They did nothing but piss me off. They got me in a bad mood just in time for my super loud 12 kid Kindergarten class. I was soooo tired from chinese kids that I couldn't deal with going to Chinese Lessons. I am gonna go home and vege before gong fu.
Gong fu was good. Practiced hard.
I had bought a watermelon last week. And ate about half of it, then it went bad in the fridge. I was gonna dispose of it tonite by tossing it off the roof and watching it explode, but someone took care of it already. Damnit!
Well, time for bed.

Posted by Phil at 10:46 AM | Permalink

Feel much better this morning than last nite. My first 2 classes with the 4th graders went very well today. The fat kid thats not all there showed me his nipples again. Lunch was normal. Then I had one 6th grade class because the second was canceled because the kids had to go get brainwashed in a movie. The class I did have bordered on disaster but I was able to bring it back. In the beginning some kid pretended to lick my butt so I threw him out of the room. but then he came back into class. As I was putting something on the blackboard someone threw a waterballoon and it burst by one of the desks. It turned out, after I went and got two teachers, Ivy and the homeroom teacher, that is was the kid I booted out earlier with another student fooling around. They were taken away and taken care of, they returned later on. Right after the teachers left, all the kids were quite responsive.
I was teaching them the Statue of Liberty and i was like, how can I explain this too them. As I was leaving on of the kids I just taught asked me, "Where are you going?" and I responded and posed the same question to him. He said, "I am going to see a movie." So I told him, "Be careful, they are trying to brainwash you. Don't believe the movie." He said, "Ok" and gave me a thumbs up.
Kindergarten was ok. Used the Limbo game to teach them "under" and "over". I also introduced "slowly" and "quickly".
Class with Daisy was ok.
Chinese lessons sucked.
I went to Gong fu tonite and just worked on what I knew. My knee didnt act up at all either. I was quite surprised. Maybe this electro therapy stuff is working. Kickin.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 02:43 PM | Permalink

So, this morning I woke up and threw the stuff together for rice pudding. It was a little hectic because I didn't have proper measuring stuff and I didn't want to do anything wrong. It turned out really good. I took it to the bake shop and gave it to him for an hour. We set it at 162 degrees Celsius, but after an hour, I went to pick it up, and it didn't look like it had firmed up enough. So I put it back in and turned it up to about 165C and left it in there for another 20-25 minutes. When I came back, I stabbed it with a knife and it felt pretty good. So i took it back.
Yumi and I had lunch. She had the first half of today off because she had to work yesterday and she will have the first half of the day off tomorrow.
We tried out the puddin' before she left for class. It was really good. So yummy! We were missing cinnamon or nutmeg on the top, and we were also missing the Vanilla extract. But my dad gave me the idea to throw in some shavings of orange peel into it instead of Vanilla. It gave it an intersting flavour. It was good.
Time to get fat.
The rest of the day was spent with DVD work and chinese practice. I was on my way to Gong fu when my bike malfunctioned again and I ran into a parked motorbike. Nothing damaged on the bike or me, except pride and a light scrape down my arm. Luckily I did this in the back alleys away from crowded traffic.
So i headed back and plan to have the bike fixed or looked at tomorrow, if its still malfunctioning. It heals itself apparently. I will try and go to practice tomorrow nite. i feel crappy.

Posted by Phil at 02:01 PM | Permalink

Well, I woke up today and it rained most of the day so Yumi and I couldn't go to the Zhan Gardens. Its that place I went to at nite back during the Fall Holiday where they had the performance. I wanted to see it during the day and it was too overcast and raining. Maybe next week if we don't go to Shenzhen because Yumi hasn't gotten her passport and visa back we'll go.
Today we hung out and then went to the stores to get some ingredients for making awesome Rice Pudding tomorrow morning. We talked to the guy that makes those sweet muffins across the street and he said he would allow us to use his oven. Sweet.
I had to buy some measuring apartii and a stone pot for cooking. Did so. We were a little worried that the cooking bowl wouldn't work. So, we took a risk. :D
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 01:56 PM | Permalink

Coco called me about 815AM and told me to meet her at the hosptial in 5 minutes. So I threw myself together and got there 10 minutes later. Coco had some issues with her shoulders so she was gonna try too. She got some cards and payment plans or something to take to the doctor. We headed up to Floor 5 where the doctor checked out my knee and he said Acupuncture won't really help much because the knee doesn't hurt right now and he can't find any pain by pressing. So, he decided to try something else. Electro therapy. He says its better for this type of ailment than acupuncture. He hooked me up to this machine where they run an electrical current thru the area of affliction. He turned it on and he made sure it was working by placing a flourescent light rod between the two electro pads in front and behind my knee. The rod lit up. I was like...that's freaky. I had to stay in this for 20 minutes.
Then he took me to this vacuum machine. He hooked up 4 suckers to my knee, 3 in front and 1 in back. I jumped when he turned on the vacuum cause it just felt odd. Then he turned on the electricity and it made me jump even more. whoa. This is funky. I had to sit in that thing for another 20 minutes. After that was done I waited with Coco until hers was up. On TV there was a show featuring chinese acrobats. There was a woman doing hool-a-hoop with at least 30 rings on her body. Amazing.
After that, I called up Yumi and she met us at the Flower Hotel for some Dim Sum. Coco went and picked up her daughter Michelle. Yumi then surprised and grabbed all the waitresses' attention with her napkin art. She was making little baby ducks with her wet naps. They were cute and all the waitresses wanted to learn. IT was neat. Food was great too.
The afternoon was ok. I took Yumi to the computer shops looking for a webcam that she could use with her computer for when I leave so we can video chat. We found a neat one that needs to be re-ordered because the one they had had a crack in the lens. After seeing those, I may want to buy one. It will clip onto the laptop and its much less space than using my massive video camera. I shoudl try it out, the price is like $12 US.
Well, time for bed. Later.

Posted by Phil at 04:39 PM | Permalink

Today was wierd. First off, Coco called me yesterday to let me know that today there was gonna be some special meeting going on so I need to come in at 8AM because all the classes will be kick up by 40 minutes. No problem. I didn`t sleep well last nite though. I got to school on time and it was odd. They had flower arrangements up, the school band, and a lion dance troop (but not my crew) and they had these huge balloons floating in the air tethered to the ground by these banners displaying chinese characters. I don't know what they said, but I can guess it was something kiss-ass when I realized just who was supposed to come to this celebration. It was a bunch of government people that showed up during my second class. I knew they showed up because all of a sudden the lion dancers and school band started up in the middle of my class. Once that happened, I wasn't able to keep any of my kids attention. Thanks a lot for ruining my class, you hacks.
I was about to hit up my 3rd class and then Coco said, oh, we don't have class because we have this special school meeting. She told me i could go home, but as I got downstairs and started heading for my bike, some of the teachers got a hold of me and wanted me to stay for the meeting. For face. I don't really see any other reason since I won't be able to understand more than 10% of the speeches. So, I sat in the back with my 4th grade class that was canceled this afternoon. The teachers kept on yelling at the kids to be quiet and look forward and behave, so i took this as perfect opportunity to undermine their authority. Basically it was the female teachers barking orders, the guys were just hanging out. One of the male math teachers was sitting on the other side of this 4th grade class and he laughed at all the stuff I was doing to make the kids laugh as well, but then I would get all serious when the female teachers' heads would rear our way. It ruled. I love to undermine their authority.
For the rest of the day I tried to understand why they had this little celebration and what was so important. The best I could understand was this. De Xing Primary is the first school in Xiaolan to get a science and technology class. um...what? "You mean they didn't have any science otherwise?" "No...I mean, yes...we did....but this is science class. With models. Students made models."
I went into the room where the students had made little models of things and I just couldn't see what was so special about this. I guess i just don't know. Phooey.
Afternoon classes were the same today. The sky poured rain on us during the first 3rd grade class and then it cleared up by the time I had to walk across the playground to the other side of the school to teach my second class.
This evening I spent throwing some things together on my computer n such and I was gonna head to gong fu, but then it started raining for a long time. So, I couldn't go. Yumi came over after school at 7pm and we hung out for awhile. Coco and I plan to go to the hospital tomorrow morning so I could get acupuncture. I am morbidly curious about it. I want to try it out. I want them to do it on my knee because after about 2 months or so, its still bugging me when I practice hard. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 08:37 PM | Permalink

Today was ok i guess. I got into school and there were two gifts for me. A bamboo rod and a block of wood. I figured the bamboo stick is for using as a pointer, since i take the bamboo sticks out of the class flags for their use. I then use them to smack the crap out of students....wait, did I just say that, i mean I use them to hit the desk to get the class' attention. Yeah, that's the ticket. Buy by slamming them on the desk, I destroy them over time. So, finally, someone got fed up with it apparently and bought me one. Neato! The block of wood must be for making slamming noises. But I prefer to use the bamboo stick. ROCK!
3rd grade went fine.
During lunch I met up with Jolene to take my sword back to the engraving shop so they could do something else. The guy was real nice and I wrote up what was written on the blade in English and told him I wanted it placed on a metal piece and placed on the scabbard. No problem. He asked me if I knew Bruce Lee. I was like, "Not personally, he died before I was born." He giggled. His english is good. He seemed to be proud of his crappy ceramic statue of Bruce Lee so i didn't bother to tell him what I exactly thought of him. Its not a negative opinion, but I didn't want to put our encounter on a downer. He then asked if I liked Tai Chi. I said, "Sure, I like taiji." see...I even know how to say it properly. He then showed me a Event Guide for a Taiji Conference that he helped organize in Zhuhai back in 2001. I recognized about 4 teachers from the pictures that I have seen in those cheezy gong fu magazines and videos. Madame Sun sat in the center. I was like, Kool. I told him that Gabriel was her friend and I got some fotos of her with him. He was into it. This engraver dude is one of my favourite chinese. We then typed up the words on the computer and he was like, good, be done in a couple days. 30 RMB. Sweet.
I then walked over and ate at the Chinese McDonald's. Basically, its chinese fast food. It was pretty decent, surprisingly. The only thing that seperates this from other chinese food is that its fast. And more expensive. It was a good 1 time thing.
After classes with 5th grade were...eh. 1st class was terrible and 2nd class was good.
I then headed to Kindergarten. This was interesting. I worked on 1-10 and it went well. But before that I did some review with things like, Run, Walk, Jump, Skip, Crawl, Fly, Crab Walk, etc. I introduced, Stand, Crouch, and Fall. They loved it. However, during the Crab Walk, Crouch, and Crawl, I realized that little chinese girls don't like to wear underwear when they wear skirts just like when the boys don't like to when they wear short shorts. AIYA! I busted out laughing when I got a face full of 2-4 year old nookie. .....wait.....that sounds bad.....
Afterwards I had class with Daisy. It went ok.
I came home after Chinese lessons and started working on DVD #3. About a couple weeks ago, after Shanghai, I edited that footage somewhat and that took out alot of work today. This one is gonna go alot quicker. The only thing I will be finding hard is trying to find space for everything.
Well, its late, the internet is back up and I can wish my Dad a happy birthday. Be sure to wish him one!
good nite.

Posted by Phil at 12:16 AM | Permalink

The secadas came out sometime last week. I can't see em, but I sure can hear em. I woke up this morning and as I went to go take a shower, i noticed a cockroach swimming in my toilet. "Trying to cool off there in the pool, aren't ya, little buddy? Lets see what your ass knows about WAVE FILLED VORTEX POOLS! SUCK ON THAT!" My wierd reactions towards cockroaches seem to confuse the chinese. Its not fear, its just weird. Like I make it known to everyone in the room that there is a cockroach in the toilet or on the bathroom floor, or stuck in the mosquito netting of my bed and I rolled over it while I was sleeping and I heard it squeal. They are like, "Whats the issue?" They go over and step on it or pick it up with a napkin. I have to tell them that where I am from, at least in my experience, I never have had to ever deal with Cockroaches. Maybe really small ones that pass off for other small bugs, but these suckers are big ass flying ones. Maybe it has something to do with that USA movie I saw when I was 10 at Fred's house..."The Nest" about a brood of cockroaches that kill people. Maybe thats where it comes from.
I got paid today. Whoo hoo! I went between morning classes this morning. I tried to call Jolene from the office to find out about my sword. It wouldn't connect to her fone. Crap. So I headed back to the school.
I was teaching my flag class again and it went better this time. The culture lesson was on international FLAGS. There were flags for the UN and the EU and the kids had no clue what either were, so I had Lily explain what they were in Chinese. I had the kids design their own flags and I got some really bizarre flags. Quite humorous.
Jolene called me twice during this class. I called her back after and she said she lost the sword guy's fone number. I went home to look for the card. I didn't have it. He gave the letter to her with his info on it. It should be at her place or the office. I won't know till later.
I headed home. The good thing about Children's Day is that I have no afternoon classes. I found out about this possibility when Daisy's grandpa mentioned it. News to me.
So, lets see...what did I do today. Well, during lunch I watched this hilarious Korean martial arts flick that makes fun of all those super powers gong fu movies have. It was good. However, they over used the "pissed off hero screaming a die hard scream" along with the "pissed off villian screaming a die hard scream". Just too many times. It got really annoying. Started out funny, then got serious and ended funny.
I then got some flowers and went over to Yumi's place while she was at work. I couldn't find a vase or a bottle to put them in some water, so I grabbed the blender and used that. The price for a vase at the flower shop was like 2x the price of the flowers. Dude, what I did was more romantic then a panzy looking blue plastic hunk of crap. Yeah...that's right. You heard me.
After that, I headed over to the engraver shop because the guy told Jolene he was done. I checked it out. It was OK. Not what i expected to see and what I thought was gonna be, but still good none the less and it does the job. I took it home. I am gonna go back tomorrow with Jolene to have something else done.
After that I headed home and then on to chinese lessons. It went ok.
After that I went to Gong Fu practice and Sifu wasn't there and the wunderkinden were there as usual. I got some good practice. Time for bed. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:59 AM | Permalink

Today was interesting. Class at De Xing Primary went fine. For my 6th grade classes I was teaching musical instruments, so i brought in my Les Paul guitar and erhu. As expected, I got stares and "whaaas" as I rode my bike to school, and I got many when I walked into my classes. Its sooo amazing!
During the classes I took them out n stuff. I asked the students if any of them knew how to play guitar, erhu, or any of the other instruments in the book. Of course, no hands were raised as the kids looked around nervously to see if anyone else was raising their hand. It was a class of 50 chinese kids... At least one had to have known how to play piano! If you are chinese, its like you are required to learn either piano or violin....or ping pong. I asked if any of them knew how to play the erhu and no one pipped up. I was ashamed of them. They are disrespecting their own culture. :D
They all cheered whenever I was able to seduce a kid up to play the guitar.
Well, those classes were good.
Kindergarten sucked royally. I am still trying to work with these 2-4 year olds the body parts. Its been the same lesson pretty much. I am just trying different things and games to get them to learn the words. I tried to do a super simple game with them today, each kid would shout out a body part different from the kid sitting next to him or her, if it was the same, they stand up. Very simple. My directions were short and clear. The initial start of the game, it went fine, about 10 kids did it properly and then one kid said the same thing. The chinese teachers went nuts. They re-explained the directions to them. And it seemed to take about 10 minutes to explain the game to the children in Putonghua and Guangdonghua. And after that, the kids were speechless. And I got frustrated because I know these kids could do it. Wing said it was too hard for them. I was like, "Duh, when you take like 20 minutes to explain a simple game to them in both Putonghua and Guangdonghua, I would expect them to get lost. I would." And of course, the chinese lady that overseas is constantly being a hardcore enforcer. She has been really pissing me off lately because she keeps on singleling out and punishing this little girl, Yang Shen-Yu (i think) and having her sit alone. Today she drew a circle with chalk on the floor in the front of the class and put a chair in it and sat the girl there. I got fed up with this and I was like, "Wing, WTF? The teacher keeps punishing this little girl and I never see her do anything really bad." I said other things along this topic and the teacher was like, "Shen ma?" to Wing. Wing said something, and the teacher took Yang Shen-Yu back to her regular chair then switch up some of the other kids. (btw, this is the little girl that sometimes has had the tendency to walk out of the bathroom with her pants still around her ankles, she also has 4 pigtails, a little chubby, very cute kid) I mean, the most I have seen her do is talk or sit in her chair backwards during the class. I have seen boys punch girls in the face and not be disciplined by this teacher, I have had to enforce it. And other girls have done things to, but she just picks on this little girl.
If I were a little kid, I would fear this woman like the plague. She is so coarse, mean, and forceful towards the kids. Among all the teachers that deal with these young kids classes though, I think she is one of the nicer ones. ...and she's friggin' clueless to what her shirt says or means. This is the second time I have seen her wear this shirt, I need to start bringing my camera along with me again. She has this faded yellow shirt with this written on it across her boobies, "Yummy 69"
My eyes popped out of my head when I saw this shirt. I turned around and laughed a good laugh. The kids saw me laughing and they started giggling. Wing asked me what I was laughing at and I told her the teacher's shirt. She didn't understand.
But anywho, there are so many pieces of work here its disgusting. Maybe you can imagine.
i went to class with Daisy and the class was hard. She was distracted by the lucious sweet tasting watermelon. I did the best I could given the circumstances. Needless to say, my chinese lessons were pointless and useless. I wasn't there in the head and the material I was given was no good. ...if it was needless to say, why did I say it....think about that....
good nite.

Posted by Phil at 08:42 PM | Permalink

Happy Memorial Day folks! I hope you had a good one. I watched a movie called "Downfall". Its about Hitler's last 12 days. Its quite interesting and stirred quite the controversy in Germany.
If I were at home during this memorial day weekend, well, not home, but I mean, the US, I would have been out at the Shorinji Kempo Cornell Camp. A fun filled weekend of punching and kicking. I hope it went well.
Me, I spent most of the day with a sore throat today. Its that season of using the AC alot and getting AC related colds.
I went to the post office to mail out my packages. One was 14kgs and the other was 21kg. I had to chose the longest and cheapest option and it still cost me about $81.24US. It will take at most 2 months via cruise ship to get to the US. If I wanted the 1 month option, via plane, it would have been more than twice that. And the first option which was 2 weeks was more than 2x the second option. Wow. I sure hope it gets there.
That was mostly it today.

Posted by Phil at 05:09 PM | Permalink

Had lunch with Yumi. We ate a lot.
We went to Longshan park, walked around, and spent an hour on the big pond in a paddle boat. It was nice.
We walked to CRC, shopped a bit. Went back to her place and played ping pong.
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:12 PM | Permalink

I packed up two large boxes full of clothes I no longer need and objects I know longer need and other things I don't need and plan to send them home on Monday. It sure opened up a lot of space in my room.
Did some video transfer for Peter.
One of my Ext FIREWIRE Hard Drives blew out. Not working anymore. OSX can't read it.
Ran some errands after class. Class went well.
Video chatted with my mom and dad for about 1 hour. Yumi got to meet them for about 20 minutes.
It was cool.
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:03 PM | Permalink

Humidity: The degree of moisture in the atmosphere.
You`d think that after 4000 years, the chinese would have been able to understand this concept. I had to show the English teachers the definition in their dictionary. They were complaining about how hot it was, and I was like, "what? this is warm. THe only reason it feels hot is because of the humidity." All I got was blank stares. Hence the education lesson. But they were still like...its hot. I am like, you live in Guangdong...if you are complaining now about the weather I will hate to hear all the complaining when July and August role around. This is still spring. Here`s a quarter, buy a clue.
Anywho, there was a lot of it today. I think the most recently. I dont even think the regular temperature was over mid-80s at all.
Today was a great day, considering how tired I was. All my classes went really well. I pulled that "speak chinese or you`re out" stuff in my 4th grade classes today. It ruled. Coco loved it. I booted a couple out right away and it got the kids talking in English. I don`t leave them in the hall long. I only do so for 1 minute. Just long enuff to make an example out of them. I do it in a playful manner, but I have noticed Coco and Ivy taking an Totalitarian approach to it by scolding them a bit. Not bad, but a little. I sent a boy out 3 times in the span of 10 minutes. Very funny, he would also let something slip out when I was right there or looking at him.
About 3 boys were playing with themselves in my Kindergarten class of 12 kids. And they were trying to rip the shorts off of the girl sitting next to them. Prepubescent rapers....is it a crime, will they get put on a sex offenders list? I had no assistant and the older kids class director sitting in today. A bunch of school people have been watching this class the past 2 weeks, i dont get it.
I went to go to Lion practice tonite. I got there and no one was there and all the pedestal equipment was gone. Crap. So, I called up Yumi and we hung out for awhile. She has to go to Shiqi tomorrow for some injection for her school to protect her from all the germ factories she is teaching. She is afraid, because the chinese are known not to be very clean with their medical equipment...at times. Well, I have not seen this personally, but at one time they were...wait? what was that? Oh, yeah, that is right, during a Communist Government Money for Blood Program intended to help the multitudes of poor in Henan Province, the government/medical staff wanted to save money and they re-used HIV laden needles and infected thousands of its own people, and then tried to cover it up.
Mayu is afraid and is gonna get it done some other way. But Yumi is gonna brave it. Really, in this day and age in modern Chinese cities there`s really no worry. Unless you are really slumming it.
I still think its bizarre that their hair salons are more sanitary than the hospitals that I have seen. I see they got their priorities straight.
Yumi has the chinese MTV on right now, and they are playing a video of Japanese Super Boy Group "WINDS". A 3 member crap J-pop group. So retched. JUst as bad as Backstreet boys n stuff. And they are all dressed up like early 1990s rappers and break dancing, and throwing gangsigns. So sad. really.
Sometimes I wish the Samurai class were back to exact their authority on this mailbox heads.

Posted by Phil at 09:41 PM | Permalink

I finally figured out the way to get these kids to speak english and not chinese!!! I was teaching my 5th graders today on the future tense. Ivy had this cool setup on the computer and I used the video screen to show them rooms that may or may not be in their new house. My favourite was the bathroom. They would ask me, "Will there be a bathroom in my new house?" I was all like, Of course. Then I said, What will you do in the bathroom. THen they would answer, however, they would never choose the most obvious. What was great was that all these pictures of the rooms were of some of the most luxurious ones in America so all the kids were all like, WHAAAAAA!
In the bathroom, I pointed out to the fact that it contained a sit down toilet, so I showed them, NONE OF THIS (while i squatted) or sat on a bench and squatted (to get across that you shouldnt squat on the toilet seat). I then showed them how to sit on a real toilet and read the newspaper while doing it to.
What got them to speak english, I swear, this is the most english I heard them speak ever. I threatened to throw them out of class if they didn`t speak english. Ivy got a chuckle out of that threat. At first, none of the kids thought I would do it until I threw out a group of four. Then, all of a sudden, i couldn`t hear myself think. The amount of chatter increase so much. It was great. My favourite move was going in stealth and sneaking up behind kids just hoping to catch them speaking cantonese. I got a few that way. There were a couple kids where I was standing in plain sight of their group and I asked them to speak to each other in the context of the assignment and they would speak to each other in Cantonese and I was like, "DUDE! I`m right here!" It rocked.
I confiscated a couple more notes today. I have noticed i have been doing　that alot lately. Todays was one asking another student if they could borrow 2RMB. He couldn`t but he could lend her 1RMB.
Before Kindergarten, I called Jolene and asked her to ask the metal shop dude about the sword since we heard nothing and he said that he could do it and the cost would be 85RMB, but Jolene got him down to 80. Big whoop. He said it would be done monday or so. I have my doubts since, this is china. He said he would call us if he could do it, and we haven:t heard anything until we called. He could be saving face. However, this type of thing happens in the states too. So. whatever.
Kindergarten today was hard. I am trying to teach the 2-4 year olds body parts. They can understand what I say when I say HEAD SHOULDERS KNEES AND TOES, and that stuff because they point them out, but they can`t say it or do the game properly themselves. Its hard trying to teach body parts for 40 minutes. There is only so much you can do. Then during the bathroom break, a couple boys walked out with their pants around their ankles.
Will someone please tell me why chinese kids don`t wear underwear when they wear short shorts?
I went gong fu practice tonite. Only the main group people were there. It started pouring rain on my way there and I got drenched. Once at practice, the rain was pouring so hard on the metal roof that it hurt my ears. Very loud. I was then taught more of the cymball for the lion dance cadence and I then was snagged into doing it while they guys did the pedestals. I had to fake it. It wasn`t too bad.
Afterwards, Sifu taught me Chan Quan #1. Its quite simple, but you repeat it 4 times. Its got some classic moves in it though.
I then rode my bike home in the rain.

Posted by Phil at 10:08 PM | Permalink

5th grade was fine. 6th grade was a pain. However, I didnt have the 2nd 6th grade class because they were busy with a Science lecture. HURRAY!
My dark side came out great today as I confiscated a love note from one of my 5th grade boys. He had a full page of chinese written out. He was taking great care with this during my teaching time. BUSTED! I knew it was a love note because the first three words on the page were in English. LOVE!!! LOVE!!! LOVE!!! and there was a big heart on it. Giggle. It felt so good to confiscate. I wanted to read it out loud for the class, but that would have been too cruel...plus, I can`t read chinese. So I gave it to Lily. She took it and looked it over.
During lunch I went DVD shopping. They took me into the garage in the alleyway and i picked up a bunch of Stephen Chow movies. They had a couple US ones I was interested in, but they were bad copies. So, I was like, nope.
I went to practice tonite and it was crowded. Practiced hard. I asked sifu to teach me Chan Quan, he said ok.

Posted by Phil at 10:43 PM | Permalink

Today wasn't all that bad. I was just in a sourpuss mood brought on by my 2nd 4th grade class who didn't pay any attention to me. Lucy, again, was gone, and didn't bother to tell me that she would be busy or have someone tell me about it. It was completely brought on by them either. I started to feel it during the break between classes when i had nothing to do. I feel like I am trapped in this place at times and there is nothing to pass the time. My 1st 6th grade class in the afternoon pissed me off as well. The 2nd 6th grade class was ok.
Kindergarten was ok I guess. I caught 1 boy and 2 girls in the bathroom having a little game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours". PUT THOSE THINGS AWAY! A couple girls in the class were wearing dresses and kept pulling them over their heads. aiya.Later on, while I was standing and doing Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, one of the boys grabbed my groin. So, I put him in the corner and he started bawling his eyes out. My booty and manhood are off limits.
Class with Daisy was eh. Chinese lessons were boring as usual. More info that is just gonna slip thru my mind. so frustrating. And on top of that, Daisy's mom made me a sandwich and now my tummy feels like crap. And she didn't use Red Bean paste peanut butter. It was spam and an egg.
I am too junky to go to practice. I hope I dont get sick again.

Posted by Phil at 09:00 PM | Permalink

Got up today and did some laundry. I then sat down to watch Revenge of the Sith on my computer that Peter downloaded and gave to me the other day. Watching it in English made it soooo much better. Most of my issues that I had mentioned before the nite I went to see it have changed. His transition into Darth Vader is much more believable and all the more tragic. I was quite surprised by the acting. There were still some pretty bad parts, but for the most part, I was quite pleased. The worse was, I think you can all agree with me, during the emotional climatic part on Mustafar when Padme confronted Anakin. I was like, damnit, but it was a small price to pay for a movie that actually provided you with an emotional response that doesn't result with fans demanding the head of George Lucas. Order 66 seemed more powerful than in Chinese and also the duel at the end.
As for the cuts that I thought were done by the chinese, there was only one and that was the amount of footage they showed of Anakin getting charred up. All the other cuts that I thought were done by the chinese were in the actual version, which shows just how bad some of those cuts really were.
i will have to watch it again all the way thru because I kept on getting interrupted as I watched it. It wasn't a problem, but I was removing my focus from being engulfed in the film. I sure hope it lasts 1 month in Hong Kong, because I will go see it in English on the big screen when I go to see Batman Begins. ROCK! I am a total nerd.
Jolene showed up for lunch with Amy and Moses and was going to go with me at 2pm to find a engraving shop that could do my sword. Also, Yumi came over with Mayu about 1245pm to let me copy some of the fotos that she took from yesterday and to have lunch. It was an enjoyable lunch. Yumi and Mayu had to leave at 120pm.
Jolene and I headed out at 2pm to this shop that was recommended to her by her contact in the Xiaolan Travel Agency. We got to the agency and she asked if I wanted to go in and I was like, I will wait out here, i don't like to enter that building or give them business since they screwed up my Beijing trip and refused to refund me anything. Punks.
The girl came out and tooks us down the street. It was a small shop and right away the guy was like, "I can't do it." So the girl said she will contact another place to find out about it. So Jolene and I went to chill in McD's and have an ice cream to wait. About 15 minutes later the girl came and got us and tooks us by bike to the place she recommended. It was near the Bond office. This place looks quite professional actually. This may be the place to do it. I dont know how much they charge yet though. The guy will go over it and see about the programming of the machine that will use a laser to engrave it. He will then give us the price. I am thinking it will be over 100RMB. I hope it aint to expensive. At this point, if its over 150, I will do it. I am sick of having to try and find places. It wastes time and doing business with Chinese people is like having root canals...not that I have had root canals done, but from what I hear its not pleasant.
So, i left and headed back to McD's becacuse there was a Baleno store selling some REvenge of the Sith shirts i wanted. They were pretty cheap so I got 3 for what amounts to $12US. They seemed pretty nice. I headed home to write up some journal entries.
The sky was getting dark so I took down my already dry clothes and then it started storming with thunder and everything. Now, its gorgeous outside. Its 550pm.
Now, for the reason why its so hard to find someone to engrave the sword. I think some of it has to do with the fact that they don't want to make a mistake on the blade and therefore replace it. If it was their own material, they could make as many mistakes as they can without having to really worry about anything. The reason that they give me is: "The blade is not level and can't be balanced so the machine won't work well with it." I kinda understand where they are coming from, but come on....its metal work - trying to engrave a hunk of metal, not rocket science or nuclear fusion! All you need to allow this to be level is get a couple of vices and position them in a way to hold the sword level for the machine and pad the vices so they don't scratch the blade or anything. They just don't want to think. Ugh.
It was very nice for the girl of the Xiaolan Travel Agency to help us out as much as she did. I appreciate it greatly. She didn't have to do so. Just some of the very nice things done for me that were totally unexpected.
Yumi came over to crash at my place around dinner time before she had a nite class at 730pm. I ordered a small spicy pizza. It was pretty good. When Yumi left, my dad finally loaded up SKYPE on his brand new iMac G5. I am jealous. 250GB Harddrive. My mom, dad, and I spoke with each other for free for 1hour and 17minutes on a connection that sounded like they were next to me. Awesome. Aint technology amazing sometimes...when it doesn't piss you off.

Posted by Phil at 06:33 PM | Permalink

Well, both of us made it to the bus station with about 5 minutes to spare. The ride took about 2 hours. When we finally got to Zhuhai, we had some breakfast at this foreign place. Yumi said, "I want something besides chinese food. If i want chinese, I can eat in Xiaolan." i was like, "Cool beans." I had the best baked spaghetti ever in China. Maybe its becausee they are so close to Macau they can get real cheese easily and the sauce was real good too.
After that, we headed into the lines for passport checks. I don't know why it was so busy and what was going on to cause it, but there were the longest lines I have seen at the Macau border. Never seen it this busy. We stood in line for about 30 minutes. Luckily, we had gotten in line behind the family with a 3 year old and a 6 month old and we were able to enjoy ourselves for most of the time. It was a cute family. A Chinese guy and a Swiss woman and two hybrid kids - an older boy and a younger girl. Their passports were Swiss and the Chinese guy spoke Guangdonghua, so I am guessing he married her and became a citizen so he could get out of China....for love....of course. The mother was wearing this blue level on her waist so her baby could sit on it while she held her. Nifty little invention. The boy was quite loud and very energetic. His mom had to scold him in swiss a couple times. Sounds like German, but not. It sounded funny and all the rubber necks in the surrounding vacinity would turn to watch where this strange shouting language was coming from. The boy accidently ran into Yumi a couple times and then stared at the two of us in fear. After he did that, he went on to suck on his sisters feet behind his mother. He did this and my eyes bugged out. I was like...interesting. He kept doing it and the baby wasn't doing anything to complain. The mother started casing him around in a circle like a dog chasing his tail. Quite humorous, but the boy went a little too far and then tripped and fell a couple times. She scolded him and then he went to play with papa.
The baby, who has started teething and has a couple, then started to take notice of us and her huge eyes in her tiny little head was so cute. She was staring at us and reaching for us. Yumi gave her her index finger and the baby grabbed a hold of it. As soon as he had grabbed her finger, he threw it into her mouth and started nibbling it and drooling everywhere. The mother was giggling and Yumi was laughing. Then the brother saw this and got pissed. He ran over to Yumi and started pushing her and punching her and yelling. The mother made him stop. Apparently he is very protective of his little sister. He won't let the leader of their playgroup hold her. She said that its better he is protective than apathetic. The little girl then moved onto Yumi's fist and drooling over that as well as herself and everything.
We finally made it to the desks and the mother put the baby in the baby cart and the girl started crying. And of course, just as Yumi and I were going up, it was time to change the passport checkers. More time we had to wait. The guy scoured Yumi's passport to make sure it wasn't fake. With mine, he didn't look at my picture, just sent me thru. After that we headed to the second checkpoint.
This was quicker, about 10 minutes.
We hit up McD's just to look at the map and make a plan of attack. We headed to Senado square, the famous walking street and walked around looking for shopping opportunities. It was nice. The weather was quite warm today, very hot, but not too bad on the humidty front, which helped loads. It was very sunny. Thank God Yumi lent me her sunscreen which is this japanese stuff that is 50 SPF. It worked loads. I was in the sun the whole day and I don't have any burn what so ever, even with all the sweating. I wonder how many health hazards it contains. Yumi has this dire desire of not to be blackened by the sun. Almost paranoia...like most of the chinese, and japanese. They all want to be white. Yumi's skin is already naturally very white, so I don' t know why she bothers with buying stuff that will help make her whiter. Its a culture thing I guess. Kinda like the Romans, only, the Japanese and Chinese aren't drinking lead tainted water to do it.
We walked all around in and out of shops. We then headed to the ruins of a catholic church. A very famous church/sightseeing site in Macau. One wall still stands of the ruins and its the front fact of the church. Behind it are tombs of the people that worked there and also some art that was in the church. During the trip thru the small museum, I had to give Yumi a crash course in the history of the Catholic church since the first split. I aslo had to give a quick explanation on why Christ was killed. The best way i was able to do it was thru a political point of view, "He was a revolutionary who threatened those in power and he was killed because of it." I tried to explain more, but it was too hard to explain. There was also a painting hanging in the gallery which showed the crucifixtion of 26 Christians in Nagasaki, Japan. Actually, it was 32, the other 6 martyrs were Jesuits which were omitted from the picture because of political reasons at the time. This was around 1640 and all christians were kicked out of Japan at this time. Yumi said she remember learning about this in her history classes. The Japanese authorities would lay down a painting of Christ on the crucifix and have people suspected of being Christians walk on it. Those who wouldn't were taken into custody and killed.
After that, we took some pictures there and I got yelled at for apparently walking somewhere that I shouldn't have been, but there were no signs saying not too. We headed next door to the Macau fortress for some more sightseeing. It was very pretty. We then hit up the museum there and there was some interesting stuff.
Afterwards we headed back to Senado square and it was getting around 415pm so we found a taxi and got to the barrier gate around 430pm and it took us about another 45 minutes to get thru the checkpoints. We wanted to do some shopping n stuff, so we went into the Gongbei Shopping mall to have some dinner and have an hour of shopping. We got a pizza pie, but it turned out to be 6 inches wide with four slices, but luckily neither of us were too hungry. After that, we split up to go shopping.
I tried to buy things, i really did, but nothing caught my eye. Its all the same junk. Crappy clothes that I don't need or junky jewelry. The only thing that I could possibly want was DVDs, and they were all pretty much crap. I did find 3 though. I picked up a Japanese movie, the new Zatoichi, a Korean mideval war flick called Sword in the Moon, and a movie about the last 12 days of Hitler at the end of WWII. THe first two I found in an actual store, the Hitler flick was found among the tons of obvious bootlegs. I found a bunch of films I wanted, including Revenge of the Sith, The Aquatic Life of Steve Zasou, and The Woodsman. However, I wanted to see them on a TV and view them before I unknowingly purchased any crap. Of course, most were rip offs or the wrong films. Woodsman didn;t look right. The Aquatic Life had "Propery of ...." watermarked on the video, and ROTS was Attack of the Clones in disguise. I don't understand why the police don't crack down on these people, if they just followed the leads, they could help take out Piracy in action. Boggles my mind.
I refused to buy any of them except the Hitler flick, because that looked resonable. My decision to just take the one really pissed off the guy trying to sell them to me. He made it obvious by slamming the DVDs on the table and being all huffy. I was like like, "So what, I am insulting you by not buying them. You tried to insult me first by trying to sell me crap." After that, he was like, 8rmb. I was like f that, its 6 jackhole. He laughed at was like, "You got me, you got me." He's still selling me crap, but its crap thats 6 rmb cheaper than buying the crap at the DVD shop in Xiaolan.
I was on the lookout for some boxsets, but didnt find any.
At 7pm, Yumi and I met outside the KFC and headed out to the bus and headed home at 730pm. We got back in town at 9pm and took a box taxi to the Yunna resturant were we had a snack and went our seperate ways. She doesn't have school till 930 tomorrow so she will get a well needed rest. I headed home and passed out from all the walking. That sunscreen rules. No burns and no red nose.

Posted by Phil at 05:20 PM | Permalink

Today, met up with Yumi after she cooked some food. Yummy stuff. Had lunch then hit up the foot massage place for 1 hour for a killer foot massage. I passed out. Then I had class at 3pm. Class with Daisy, Jack, and Violet sucked today. I was going over some stuff I taught them last time and they were totally disinterested and i tried to teach them some new things like the names of the months and it went totally over their heads. Great.
Right before class, Owen asked, "Why didn't you go to the beer gardens last nite. About everyone was there." Well, its hard to go when no one calls your ass and forgets about you, isn't it. So after class, I called Jolene to ask about the lack of information and also about sword engraving. She called me back in like 5 minutes saying she found a place that could do it. I would really like to see that happen. She will be here on Monday for a lunch date with Amy and Moses then she will go with me to the shop. Koolio. Maybe this one will actually happen.
Peter downloaded a copy of Revenge of the Sith that was posted on BitTorrent last week or sometime. He brought it over and put it on Nick's computer when he came to borrow my video camera for one of his student's recitals tonite.
I met Yumi at 630pm at the bus station to get tix to go to Macau tomorrow and then we went to the noodle shop she loves by her school. There is this little girl that spends her daze there while her parents work that she finds really adorable. It was about 7pm when we got there, so she had already gone home. The food was good, as usual. We then walked back to the house.
James, the new guy, is a soccer hooligan from London. The first thing he did when he got here was find a bar that had a big screen that would play the play off games that are going on right now. Tonite was the game between Manchester United and Arsenal and lots of people were gonna head there at 9pm. Yumi and I showed up and some peopel were already there. Ben, a gril, New John, chinese guy, Miguel, Glenn, and James. James was for MU and Glenn was for Arsenal. So they were shouting at each other during the game. I just laughed and hoped that they would get into a drunken brawl, which unfortunately didn't happen. More people showed up. Jolene, Damon, Nick and Megan. And a couple other chinese folk. I chatted with Miguel. He wasn't rooting for either side, he was just there to enjoy the festivities. He thinks soccer is a ladyman's sport. He played Rugby for 10 years. We had discussions on the brutalness of Soccer/American Football/Rugby.
About this time, MU scored a goal (which later on was disqualified) and James jumped up cheering and then he grabbed and hugged Miguel from behind while he kissed him on his bald clown head. I am just waiting for him to start a riot.
It was fun just hanging out.
Well, I am off to bed. Yumi and I will meet at the bus stop tomorrow at 810am. later

Posted by Phil at 05:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ok, so, going to bed last nite at 3AM really made me tired today. I had my longest day today and it was ok. I had my first two classes. The 4th grade went really well and the 3rd grade was fine. The second 4th grade was canceled so i was able to leave early. I went home and took a nap. Slept for about 2.5 hours and woke up just in time to go to class at 2pm. The two 3rd grade classes this afternoon were long and boring. Sounds and Words is so hard to make an interesting class out of. I was able to keep their attention and entertain them and teach them, but it just dragged on and on. To add to that, my bike lock that I purchased not more than 2 weeks ago is already broken, the key can't turn. I came up and the school guard/attendant was like, "lock your bike", i was all like, "haui le" (broken), and he took it and when I came back from my first 3rd grade class, he had chained it up with his own chain. After my second class I came back to leave and he had just oiled it up and it was working fine again. Great. Thanks buddy.
I headed out to 1+1 for some well needed food. All I had today was an apple and some water. Got some food in me and ran into a guy that attended one of our parties, Owen. Not the one that works for Bond. Some random chinese guy that worked at Viasystems as an interpreter/translator.
I then headed back to the house to pick up my Star Wars DVD and headed to kindergarten. I got the kids practicing the words Jedi and Sith, they still say "Sif", its so adorable. I then described each as "Good" and "Evil". Wing translated that and the kids jumped up and pointed at her "JEDI!" then pointed at me "SITH!"....
uh oh.
So i popped the DVD into the computer set up they had there which was quite impressive for a kindergarten. Too bad you couldn't hear anything but muffled noise coming from the audio system. But the kids loved the Clone War cartoons. They got really into it and were shouting and laughing and cheering. It was really cool. Then I played the duel in Empire Strikes Back, all the girls got scared of Darth Vader...deservedly so. It ruled! I was like, "YES!" the kids reallly enjoyed it. That makes me happy.
Afterwards I headed home. Yumi then came over and we headed over to Happy Time for some dinner. She had Honey Juice Chicken, which was ok and I had "Hawaiian Ham" which really was just two slices of SPAM dropped on top of some peppers and onions. Magnific!
I called around to see what people were up to and Jolene said they planned ot go out after the Friday Guzhen English Corner, she would call me back. Nick said he was gonna go to Peter's for poker since Echo was spending the nite in Guzhen for some reason.
Sounds interesting. I will be waiting for calls.
None came.
Time for bed.

Posted by Phil at 06:51 PM | Permalink

I spent most of this morning throwing together some video clips of star wars and stuff to put on a DVD to show my kindergarteners on Friday in Celebration of the movie. Hopefully they already know about it or they will be interested in it. They are in the prime age range...6 and 7. They should. If not, they are stupid and don't deserve to be my students. I know when I was that age I used to watch Return of the Jedi with my best friend at the time, John Shaw. I used to watch that all the time along with The Dark Crystal every day after I came home from school. ROCKED! I just read recently that they will make a sequel to Dark Crystal. Killer.
Well, today I was in a good mood. I guess it was because I am planning to go see Revenge of the Sith tonite at 1150pm at the theatre here in Xiaolan. So excited. I mentioned that we should get drunk before going to see it...maybe the alcohol will help me to miss the bad acting and bad dialogue that I am sure Lucas has screw up again on. Ugh. Oh well.
My 3rd grade class was, "eh". Not that great. I was waiting for it to be over. Just loud and no attention paying. I think all these problems are attributing to the weather. The hotter it gets the more energy they have. WHen it was cold they were much more docile. They are just like gas in the Thermodynamic sense. Man, did I suck in Thermo at college. I am sure I could have aced it at UM Dearborn though.
What else. 5th grade was a blast today. My good mood, Ivy's presence, and the stormy weather gave the students enuff to not be uninterested and slightly ready to participate. I took a lame ass lesson on the letter "b" and turned it into a 40 minute laugh fest including me playing baseball with a boy's head, buying a kid, and acting like a woman. It was great.
I had kindergarten class at 430pm and I taught body parts.
I then had class with Daisy and then my Chinese lesson.
I skipped my chinese lesson to do some stuff preparing for lessons tomorrow.
We went to go see Revenge of the Sith tonite. At first, we were the only ones there and we thought maybe we would be the only ones, but alas, no. *SPOILERS COMING UP* It was good, for the most part. I had a few issues with it, but I need to see it again. Why must I see it again? .....because....the chinese attendant selling us tix SAVED FACE and lied about the fact that the movie was in English with Chinese subtitles. The movie was in Chinese. Entirely. No subtitles. But you know what....i think it saved the dialogue. I think it may sound better in Chinese than in English. If I don't like the movie in English, I may just gonna have to watch it in Chinese with english subtitles on the DVD. THe acting actually seemed better in this one. Maybe it had to do with more effort put into it by Lucas or that there was no English soundtrack and all their bad voice acting was gone.
I need to see it in English before I make definite opinions about the film. But for right now, I think its a far better film in Chinese than the first two buckets of crap that we were served. Things I can definitely say that I was irritated about: General Grievous goes out like a bitch - such good potential wasted. Dooku whoops Obi-Wan super quickly and then Dooku gets whooped super fast. The lack of emotion shown by Obi-wan after Padme gets forcechoked.
Things that i may find better after watching in English: the transition from Anakin to Darth Vader. It just seemed force and didn't feel like he really did.
Another thing that upset me was all of the stuff cut out of the film. I have been visiting the spoilers boards and stuff, like a geek, and I have seen stills of stuff that was not in what I saw. Along with people's descriptions of scenes and shots from previewing showings in the US and Europe.
As far as understanding it, I caught about 10% of the chinese. Luckily, since I had read all of the spoilers, I knew what was going on in each scene, pretty much.
Things that ruled:
I cheered out loud when Mace Windu got killed off. IT RULED! Take that Sam, get out of this franchise now! Order 66 - the order to exterminate all the Jedi was powerful. The senate fight between Yoda and the Emporer. Parts of the duel between Obi and Anakin. What rules?.... Yoda speaking chinese. Its like.....the quintesential old gong fu master. i thought of Sam Seed and all the old classic gong fu movies. The opening space battle looked amazing, rivalling the Jedi space battle. There was other stuff I really liked too.
One thing that was irritating to the whole theatre was the fact that the audio, at random times would cut out for some reason or another. Even the chinese got pissed at that. Half the group we came with took off when they found out it was in Chinese and we got our money back. However, the lady was like, if you stay, you have to pay, and so this led Megan to go all hardcore and demand a discount. She got them to do half off. So, that was good. The price of the film to see was originally 30RMB, but she got it down to 15. Nothing drastic, but still, our team won somewhat.
And yes, the chinese still talk on their cellfones during movies. I actually told a couple people to shut up. I RULE! Well, its late. I need to find out where I can see this in English in a theatre. I may still need to hit up Hong Kong.
Good nite all, my longest day is tomorrow. It was worth the experience I think. I enjoyed myself.

Posted by Phil at 05:05 PM | Permalink

I was flashed by four kids today in my kindergarten class. Three girls were wearing skirts, one was dressed up in a red sailor moon type outfit and they kept pulling their skirts up. One girl just sat in her chair with her legs spread as wide as she could get them. I was like....ZOINKS!
Then Tommy, one of the smart boys, had a small hole in his shorts and was playing with himself thru it! I was like, PUT THAT THING AWAY! He had it pulled thru and he was plucking it like a banjo. It was....ugh....the experience left me shattered and distraught.
We also played Duck Duck Goose, but instead of using those words, to passify a teacher that said, "You should use different words" I was like...ok... "Jedi Jedi Sith!" That shows you how much of a Star Wars geek I am. It gave me an idea because I was trying to get them to say Jedi and Sith, so I will bring in various clips of the Star Wars movies and Clone War Cartoons to show them a Jedi and a Sith. It was funny because the kids can't say Sith at all because of the "th" and most of them are missing their two front teeth, so it was even funnier. While I was trying to practice the words with the kids, Wing sat there searching and scouring her dictionary. I was like, it ain't in there, Sister.

I just killed two baby cockroaches trekking across my window. A little spider took care of the third. I was like, "Go Spider! It's your birthday! Go Spider, Go Spider, Go Spider!" What sort of service do cockroaches do other than creep me out when I see them?

Posted by Phil at 08:08 PM | Permalink

I don't know why I try anymore in this country to try and be nice and to try to make my classes enjoyable and filled with learning goodness. My classes all today ended either in disaster or kids not paying attention because the class whip (teacher) left early. I have great ideas for lessons and Alex and Gerald can tell you that I am pretty decent at making learning seem fun if not just a bit interesting. The fourth graders were just being unruly - short attention spans on hot, humid, beautiful looking daze. The second class which has the two psychitzoids, was no better, but no worse than the first class. The two spazzes remained somewhat in control. Sending that one kid to the Headmaster two weeks in a row really helped.
The 6th graders were just...well, they were 6th graders. It really wasn't too bad today, but the first class, they were off in their own little world and Anna didn't really do anything to keep them in line. The second class participated more and were more into the lesson, but this is the 6th grade class with the highest concentration of smart/good kids.
I don't mind kids undermining authority and not paying attention - I think its important, but I think I have made it abundantly clear that I am different from the older generation that exists in schools just there to beat kids down and make them submit to their will while brainwashing the kids.
Before 6th grade I asked Coco if it was alright to use Taiwan in my lesson. After about 5 minutes of me trying to explain "Taiwan" to her, she understood and said it was ok. Basically, I drew out a ruff map on the board of the world with just China, Taiwan, HK, Japan, Korea, USA, and Canada. All are in the upper hemisphere. I have always noticed that almost all the news that Americans see or read or pay attention to just revolves around in the upper hemisphere, barely anything about down under. Does the lower hemisphere matter anymore? As for the chinese and what they know about the world...its pretty much China, Japan, maybe taiwan, and USA. Nothing else.
So today was interesting as well because more random power outages occured. Its really hot and so we had all the fans in the rooms on and I could feel and hear the distant hum of the machine like in the utopian story "The Machine"... All of a sudden I heard the machine go silent and I realized the power was cut. About five kids' heads exploded.
This country has more random power outages than Iraq. Not that I would really know how many Iraq has, but I am just making a comic comparison. Iraq has really nothing to do with this journal entry...or does it. I just wonder how much longer it will take the Chinese government to start blaming all their power outages on the USA and Japan since they seem to blame everything else on those two countries.
What else happened, Oh, I realized its impossible to try and go to the gym during the lunch break because of the heat. Its too much of a pain. The only time I could get over there would be in the evenings when it has cooled down a bit and I don't have to worry about sweat pouring down the crack of my ass like Niagra in class. Give it up.
I tried to teach my kindergarteners Dodgeball today. That was a nuclear disaster. First of all, none of the chinese teachers knew about the game, so I explained the basics to Wing and she told it to the kids then one of the teachers told them in cantonese. Thats gotta be confusing, three different languages in one class. I can understand why the kids had no idea what was going on when it came time to play. I had set up two teams and a line in the center of the play floor. Its a nice hardwood floor. Very good construction.
When I brought out the ball, I demostrated with Wing by pelting her in the face! I was like, YEAH! Take that for all your stalking of Toby and pissing off Rumi. The kids watched and laughed, and when I prepared to start the game, I wound up my throwing arm, and all the kids on the opposing team stood up, planted themselves firmly in the ground and held their arms out waiting to catch the ball. I was like, "NOOOOO!" I was like, "Did you explain to them that they do not want to get hit by the ball, so they shouldn't just stand there." The teachers told the kids, but still nothing. I was like, "OK. suit yourself." Instead of going for the head like I usually do to avoid permanent damage, I went for the legs. I started the game out and for about 2 minutes the kids kinda caught on, but soon it fell apart. There were kids jumping back and forth over the line, kids running around in circles, kids climbing into the cubby holes, and what not. It was pathetic. I felt so beaten down. Nothing ever works. So, that took most of the class time. I couldn't understand why they didnt' like it. When I was their age, I loved this game.
Another thing I should mention about these kindergarten classes are the sheer evilness of the kindergarten teachers. They are so mean. There is this one teacher that just grabs kids and manhandles them around the room. Its terrible and she gets all mean over the simplest things. "WTF is wrong with you lady?" Sometimes I just want to slap her, "You'll give the kids a complex! And he'll have enuff of those just from the fact that he is growing up in China, don't give him more." Last week I asked an older lady that works here to leave fans on and to raise them up a bit, and she got all chinesey with me and yelled at me in Cantonese because they would blow the things hanging from the ceiling down (which they totally won't cause I have done it before). So I bit back at her and she left quite quickly. What the hell is wrong with people here?
And the last horrible thing that happened today...I knew in the back of my head when the metal works shop said that my sword wouldn't be finished on Sunday like they said, but would be done on Monday. I had this thing in the back of my head knowing that it was bullshit, but I with all the reassurance I got from Wing and the constant updates by the girl working there that it was true. Wing had called a couple times and the girl said on Sunday, "Oh, its been started by we are being careful so its taking longer. It will be ready on Monday." On Monday, she called. "Oh, we have the right side done and we are starting on the left side soon. It will be finished tomorrow on Tuesday." Now that I have posted this stuff side by side, it reeks of bullshit. We called them up after kindergarten and said we were coming to pick it up. The girl didn't answer and so we were just given, "OK". We showed up and entered the offie and immediately the girl got this worried look on her face.
After a bunch of discussion, fone calls, and them trying to find out where my sword was, the truth came out that the engraving machine was broken and that the sword hasn't been touched. !!!!! shall I repeat that for effect? The engraving machine was broken and the sword has not been touched. She told us straight up lies for four days straight just to save face! To be truthful, I wasn't surprised at all by this, but its still friggin' frustrating. Wing was mad and she rose her voice to the workers in the office. I was like, "Why are you upset? This is your culture, you should be used to this?" She laughed at that saying, "Yes. It is isn't it. I am just mad because they told us lies for four days and you want this to get done for your teacher." Wing knows alot of english and can understand very well, but her pronunciation on lots of things is way off. But she can understand what I say better than some others.
So we got the sword back and the company offered that we can wait till the machine is fixed or they can engrave it another way, and I was like, "What other way. How else do you engrave it." Basically, I was fed up with them, so I don't want to give them any business. Punks.
So, I walked bcak to the office with Wing but called up Yumi and we met up by the CRC, KFC side, and headed to get some dinner. I was really hungery.
That was it pretty much for my day. Sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 10:22 AM | Permalink

It just continuously amazes me at how much business some of these chinese will give up just because I am white. I mean, money is money, right? No matter where it comes from. Maybe it was because I was raised properly and I just don't really understand why people can be that racist. For example, the often practice of me trying to get a motorcycle taxi. There is this route I usually travel that costs 3RMB. I consistently get taxi drivers that try to get me for 4 or 5RMB and I am like, "Dude, its 3." In my mind I am like, "I ain't retarded, Jerkface." After I say 3RMB they either argue about it and speed off, speed off when I don't take ride, or they just say "No" and I walk away. If I was a taxi driver here in China, I would do my best to get all the fares I could. A little goes a long way in this country. Well, at least in non-tourist areas.
I spent most of my day doing geeky computer stuff and editing my Shanghai footage. It was another warm/hot day. It was beautiful. A positive to this weather is the fact that my clothes dry in like 2 hours after I hang them up. Chatted with Megan for a bit online. She can't write more english than she can speak, it seems like. She just needs practice. I am quite surprised with the speed at which she is learning.
I was supposed to meet up with Wing at 5pm to go pick up my sword, but she called around 430pm and she said she called the shop. They still aren't finished. They may be done tomorrow. So far they only have only gotten one side of it done. I guess its good that they are taking a long time, hopefully it shows that they are being really careful.
So I headed over to 1+1 to do some shopping.
Came back and chilled a bit before I had gong fu tonite. Practice was ok. Worked hard. Didn't learn anything new, just did the forms and fooled around a bit. Guo Sifu corrected some of my staff work. Nothing spectacular today. My Hong Quan forms are getting much faster and cleaner. I can see that. I broke my bamboo staff that I bought for 1RMB back at Halloween time. Snap the top 1/4 of it off practicing. I'm that hardcore. :D
Well, rode my bike home and now I am drinking some Guiness "Foreign Extra Stout" that i bought at Jusco yesterday. Its ok. I miss real Guiness. And going to the "Nine Fine Irishmen" Bar in New York, New York casino in Las Vegas. That place rules. Most irish you can get in the states, outside Boston. Not that I have ever been to Boston, but I am guessing. Its such a fun place. I am just thinkin now about Irish Car Bombs. Chugging a pint of Guinness after dropping a shot of Bailey's Irish Creme in there. Its sooooo awesome and it tastes like ice cream. When I get back from japan, I am totally gonna go visit Fred in Las Vegas!
Well, time for bed. Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 11:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today was another nice, yet hot day. I just go out side and stand or something and i start sweating. My room is airconditioned, but the house is not because some people in the house believe its ok to keep the windows open and the glass sliding door open to allow giant flying cockroaches to enter the house and have free range. No, the real problem is that the house is really big and there is no airconditioner. AC units are expensive here, well, for a free standing one which we would get. It would be nice to have. I walk out of my room into the hallway to head out and right when I open the door, I am slammed with a wall of heat that feels like it has come from an oven. Another problem with the house is lack of insulation. Not just this house, but all of China. No insulation. The moment you turn off the AC, the cold air is sucked away. China is like a giant sink hole for AC air.
Yumi and I headed to the Bond office so I could get paid before we went out for lunch. We got to the office and it was packed full of people. Mark Lee, Nick & Megan, Peter, Ben, Shevon, Gary, Mountain, Owen, Jolene and Wing. I was surprised. Mark was chatting with Peter and Nick about something he was told to do. Apparently a travel agency has put together an english educational tour to Canada and England. They wanted Bond to do some recruiting for this. The price for the trip is 2500RMB. So, they can only really ask those who are rich, and Mark Lee teaches at the school where the richest people send their kids. The travel agency gave him the tourist DVDs for both locations. His school cancelled all his classes for this week and Bond just told him that he had this to do this week. So, all he will do is pop the DVDs in during the class, tell the kids about it and ask, "Who wants to go?" There is not much more he can do in such short notice. The chinese are their own worst enemy. Just like APPLE. The iPod could be the perfect mp3 player, however, they shot themselves in the foot with the lack of battery power and the ability to remove and replace just the battery.
So, while we were there i mentioned to everyone that we were going to the upstairs of the CRC for lunch, the place I had my cellfone stolen in september. Megan and Nick were the only takers. So we headed out. We had some dim sum and a couple other things. I saw a couple cool t-shirts. There was a family of 3 that walked out of the small japanese resturant that is located there and all three family members had matching "Revenge of the Sith" t-shirts on. I WAS LIKE SWEET! The boy was prolly about 8. So i mentioned to them, "Wo xihuan nimen de t-shirts." They smiled and said thank you. Then, a few minutes later, another little girl, no more than 8 years old, walked by wearing a t-shirt with this written on it.... "Queen of the Bitch". I laughed my ass off and so did Nick. Yumi and Megan were clueless. It was the emblem of the Queen's crown in gold on a white shirt with the words written in black. It ruled.
Then about 5 minutes later, Peter called me. He was in Guzhen at the moment with Echo purchasing a motorbike. He said the local movie theatre here has a bunch of Revenge of the Sith posters. Apparently, Star Wars will be playing in Guzhen on May 20th. "The official 'Star Wars' website has put up the full list of worldwide release dates for 'Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith'. Some countries such as China are missing from the list currently due to strict censorship laws." Peter just laughed at what I said. He was like, "Dude, its China. If it will make money, they will do it." Seems as though someone smuggled it over from Hong Kong or something. Thats good for me then. I get to see it without having to go to HK. I might end up beating the crap out of all the chinese people in the theatre though...apparently, in movie theatres, none of the chinese turn off their cellfones. And they live and die by their cellfones here. Nick saw Lord of the Rings here last year, and said it was super annoying.
After lunch was over, we split up and were planning to meet at the bus station about 155pm to head down to Shiqi to go sightseeing. There are some sights that are really kool that you gots to see. So, I made it to the bus station at 155pm and Yumi wasn't there. Before buying tix I called her up to see where she was. She had just left her place. Great. THe bus leaves at 2pm and she told me to buy tix. So, I did and there I sat at the entrance to the bus waiting for her and the driver was looking at me and I was like, "Dude, I am waiting for a woman." He was like, "Ahh, yes, I understand." Yumi showed up right at 2pm, we got on, and they kicked us off the bus. There was no room left on the bus. We just bought tix for a 2pm ride. Look, "Seat 45". And they were like, no seats. WTF! I was like, "Look, 2pm, this is our bus ride." They kicked us off. Mutha...
They have all this stuff computerized, it would help if it actually worked and had things synched up. But, nope. Its just a waste of time to do anything properly.
So we waited for 30 minutes for the next bus, got on that, and it filled up. The guy checking tix said something to us because it said 2pm, and I was like, "I ain't getting off, sucka!" And Yumi couldn't understand cause he was speaking Guangdonghua.
So, we got to Shiqi and asked a hotel to see their map briefly, since mine was only in Chinese. The place we wanted to go was another 30 minutes out of the way, so we went to this other park in town, Zhimaling Park, that was quite large. Its got a bird sanctuary or more like a bird prison. We took a taxi and he didn't try to screw us, which is always refreshing. We walked around it alot for a couple hours. The bird prison had a bunch of doves/pigeons, cranes, peacock's, pheasants, and a few other things. They also had a cage with 3 asian black bears that I wanted to pet. They were so cute. Next too it they had about 4 monkeys enclosed. Everytime I go to a zoo now, I think of "Planet of the Apes". They look so depressed, I want to set them free. The park was gorgeous. It was alot of fun to walk around. There were a bunch of little kids playing and swimming in the fountain in just their underwear. It was cute, but I was like, GET OUT OF THE DIRTY WATER! Don't drink it!
After that we hopped a taxi to Jusco, the big international supermarket. We went to the sushi shop, Sushi Oh. Super good! Fantastic sushi. I want to go again. Expensive, but soooooo good. I splashed soy sauce all over my shirt. Yumi said, "Just like a child. :-)"
We then grabbed a taxi back to the bus station and grabbed a ticket for the 7pm bus back to Xiaolan. It was 630, so I figured we could go for a walk down walking street then come back. When we got back, the bus to Xiaolan was leaving. It was 655pm, so I tried to get it to stop. It never leaves before 7pm, which made me think this was the 630 bus, but I wasn't taking any chances. I chased it down and the passengers were just staring at me smiling and pointing. I was telling them to have the driver stop and they did nothing but stare and point. I was like, YOU FUCKERS! STOP THE DAMN BUS, they drove off so I threw up a single barrel and they laughed and were happy i swore at them.
We talked to the ticket counter and started giving them shit. And they had no idea what we were talking about. The were like, "i don't know where the buses are." Theoretically, you computerize a system so you know where everything is at the moment, and you have ways to find out where the buses are by CB radio, or other type things. So, finally, after minutes of trying to figure it out, they were like, lets call. Takes a genious to do that initially i guess. They said the bus was broken down and not coming. I was like, "You should have told us that when we bought the tickets." She was like, "I didn't know." I was like, "Why is your system computerized and shouldn't your bus driver contact you immediately if he wasn't coming?"
Aiya.
So we tried to get a taxi, but all the taxis wanted 60 RMB, and i am like, screw you. We shouldn't pay more than 40RMB. But of course, since I am white, we have to pay more. I didn't really want to take the 4RMB bus, but we ended up doing so. This is the bus taht stops every 200 meters. Its not a bad ride, it gets you there within 45min - 1 hour. The problem is that it is overcrowded, loud, smelly, most of the time its super hot, and people are always throwing up on them because chinese people have week stomachs on buses. So we took the #38.
On the way back to Xiaolan I called Gary and Wing trying to find out about my sword for Guo Sifu. I got a call back and it was said that it wasn't ready. Ok, even though they said today. Wing said we would go tomorrow at 5pm or something.
We got to the Xiaolan bus station and then we needed to get motorcycle taxis. I was heading to my place. I knew the price should be about 3 or 4, but some of these punks wanted 6 and I lauged at them. No one would give it to me for 4, so I was like, screw it, I am sick of you people, i took it for 5 and this jerkface took me all over the city. I yelled at him a couple times in chinese because he was going the wrong way. And when he dropped me off I scolded him some more. Racist, arrogant, Turd Ferguson.
So, needless to say, at the end of a relatively great day, I am in a very pissy mood.

Posted by Phil at 09:21 PM | Permalink

Didn't do much today. Just went out with Yumi to lunch at this cafe next door to the Cowboy Bar. They had these sofas to sit on while you eat, and they were too low so I had to raise my shoulders to eat and because of that, my shoulder muscles are all sore now. After lunch, I headed over to have class with Violet, Jack, and Daisy. Daisy wasn't back yet apparently and Violet showed up 30 minutes late. Thanks for being on time. I am going thru a review of the book since the Cambridge course is finishing up end of May. The class went ok. Their minds lost some info during the vacation.
After class, I wanted to go to the gym, but it was so friggin' hot that I didnt feel like it. It blows. The weather was so cold that I didnt' want to go, now its super hot and I don't want to go. Aiya. So, i headed home and started taking care of this sword engraving thing. Basically, I threw a little poem/well wish to Guo Sifu and had Amy translate it for me.
"May your life be long, your Qi & gong fu be strong, your children bring you honor, and your love for lion and dragon dancing last forever. Thanks for everything. -Fei Long"
Amy translated it, not directly, because there are some chinese sayings that are like that, but not exactly, so she used those. But then she said, I should prolly do it in English, because Sifu wants to be proud of this and having it in Chinese is just like nay other gift. I understood this, but I want something on the blade, and I wouldn't be able to have the english written on the blade and have it look good, so I have planned to have a plate attached to the scabbard with the english version of it.
I took it to the Bond office around 530pm where I met up with Wing and she took me around the corner to some shops. We found one that claimed they could do it. I worked with them closely on getting the translation adn written exactly the way I wanted. They wanted to do it one on to make it symetrical, and I wanted anything but symettrical, because i felt it would look good otherwise. I found the writing style and everything that I wanted and they said sure. I told them that they had to be careful and not make any mistakes because there is no redo on this. In my mind, I am like, I have another sword, but I don't want any of them wasted. They said, 100RMB and it would be done tomorrow. Wing got them to 80RMB and done tomorrow. I was initially surprised at that esitmate of one day. I dont believe it. It better be perfect. When I pick it up, if its good, I will comission them to make a plate with english. I need to be there to write it or else they will turn it into chinglish.
After spending about 1.5 hours doing this, I called up Yumi and a few others to fin out what everyone was doing. They were at teh pool hall.
I went to Yumi's to pick her up around 830pm. She had made some pancakes because I mentioned we should have some for lunch, then she got all excited and made some. She wanted to make some Osaka style pancakes "okunamegyaku" which are like a cross between omlettes and pancakes.
We headed to the pool hall and it was me, Yumi, New John, Miguel, Ash, and a new guy James that has been here for 2 weeks. He is a nice guy. He's irish but a North Londoner. He is a big soccer fan...duh. My favourite thing about the British Iles are soccer hooligans. Initially, he reminded me of the old guy from "Traispotting", the unstable guy that started fights all the time.
I called Nick and Jolene. So, later on, Peter, Nick, Jolene, and Wing showed up. Nick had gone to the pool by Longshan Park today with Megan, Amy, and Moses. He was teaching Megan how to swim. He said she kneed him in the face while he was holding her up in the water. We started realizing that teaching someone something that seems to come natural is really tuff. Since we have known how to swim since we were little, how do explain it?
I told him to look it up online.
well, its late. Goodnite all.

Posted by Phil at 09:30 PM | Permalink

It was a hot one today. My classes went fairly well today. No problems that come to my mind. One of my favourite memories today was of a kid in my 3rd grade class during a chat activity. Most of the lessons are accompanied by either songs or chats. Most of the time they are lame and boring. Every once in awhile they are really catchy and get into your head. Well, this was one of them. The kids were bouncing in their chairs and singing along. There were a couple kids playing the air guitar and drums. However, there was this one kid who was shaking his body like Dan Akroyd and Steve Martin in the old SNL sketch "Two wild and crazy guys". It was friggin' hilarious. I got him in the front of the class to do it and the whole class was laffing outloud including Lucy. It ruled. The best part of the day, I would have to say.
I went to practice tonite and most of the gang was out on a performance. I was curious why I havne't been asked to perform anymore. Curious. I practiced on my own as usual. I was also fooling around with a couple of the guys with handsprings and flips. I did so many flips that I felt like the stuff in my stomach was gonna fly out. So, after that, it was near the end of practice and I headed home.
Happy Friday the 13th people.

Posted by Phil at 09:35 PM | Permalink

I had class today. The 3rd graders were a little loud today. During lunch, I went to the gym to run. My knee wasn't hurting as I ran, which is good.
The 5th graders today, which are pretty good usually, were terrible today. No one was listening and it was really irritating. Ivy wanted me to review what I did last time because she said the kids couldnt read the story properly and speak it properly. So I tried to go over it and they seemed to follow along, but then I had them read this stuff in their own in groups to prepare to perform in front of the class. While they were reading in groups, a couple kids were like, whats this? I was like, "weather." No, no, no...this sentence...."I can tell you about the weather."
I was like, you guys don't know how to say "I can tell you". So I talked to Ivy briefly about why bother teaching this stuff to them when they can't even read or understand basic words. What have they been learning?
This made Ivy think that I was mad at them and she proceeded to just yell at them and make examples of individual students. "What has Phil just taught you." Only a couple kids said anything. Mostly they stayed quiet to save face. She forced all the kids to apologize to me and I am like sitting in the back totally in my head going, "ARGH! This is not the way to do things! This is not how to make them learn! This is so frustration." Its amazing how much they speak when Ivy talks to them, and how less they do when I speak to them. Maybe its lack of respect, or more so...fear.
Not much happened the rest of the day. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 04:52 PM | Permalink

Nothing special today. Read up online about a bunch of recent Chinese history of the Party and what not. Learned some new things and what not. School was "bleh". I had no issues mostly except for none of the 6th graders in the first class wanting to do anything and throwing junk, it was just boring today. My second 6th grade class was more fun, a little. I got a couple kids to dance with the chant song and that got people interested a bit. But not really.
I guess I am just here to entertain the kids and not teach them.
I went to Lion Dance practice today. It was fun. Learned the rest of that staff form and kept doing it. I brought my own staff that I got on Halloween when John went as the monkey king. It was killer.
But, anywho. Its late, I am tired. Off to bed.
good nite.

Posted by Phil at 11:01 PM | Permalink

I have had no desire to teach at all today. I didn't have any either on Sunday. Maybe its because I am really realizing how much of a joke this job is. I like the opportunities it has given, but its getting really boring and I am losing interest. The lack of kid's interest isn't helping much either. In one class today, I threw 3 kids out of class for giving me the double barrels. At different times too. Its all the bad kids. They don't do it out of sheer desire to cause harm, I doubt the really truly understand what it means. But whatever.

Later on this evening, in the span of 3 days, I watched all 13 episodes of the 2nd season of 6 Feet Under. I really enjoyed it. It kinda got a little unrealistic, well, in my reality, at the end, but I guess its possible. Its surprising how much you come to care for the characters, especially when you watch it back to back. I never cared this much for the characters since I cried when Optimus Prime died in teh Transformer's Movie. I cry everytime he dies.

Posted by Phil at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I literally spent my entire morning from when I woke up to about 1pm choosing fotos and preparing them for and uploading them to the website. So all the fotos that I chose to put on the website are there. There are some left over. Pictures that aren't really that great or are doubles n stuff.
I got the panoramas as best I could.
I realy got frutsration because I feel alot of the pictures look slightly tilted and are off a bit. I think its because alot of times I held the camera up high to get some better shots over people. poop. Well, I did my best, I hope you enjoy.
The rest of the day i worked on updating these journal entries and stuff. I fried my eyes and brain a bit I think.
I veged out on "6 Feet Under", that HBO drama series. I think its over now, but Robert bought the 2nd season and I got really addicted to the 1st series.
Well, time for bed, got class tomorrow.

Posted by Phil at 08:14 PM | Permalink

I got to teach my longest class schedual. It wasn't bad. I was quite bored with it though. It came raining on and off. Maybe it was the fact that it was actually a Sunday had something to do with it. I went to kindergarten afterwards like I am supposed to. Bond decided not to let me know that I had no kindergarten class today. They always seem to tell you when you have class at the last minute, but when you don't have any class schedualed or it has been cancelled, they don't tell you. Ask Robert or any others about that.
In the evening, Yumi came over after class and then we went to get dinner at the Yunnan resturant. SOOO GOOD! The food is great. The company was great. It was great. All except for the taxi dudes, that drives a motorcycle version of a richshaw, tried ripping us off. The common price for where we wanted to go was 5 RMB, but since I was white, and Yumi did all the talking, they figured they could get more money. One guy said 8. Then the guy we eventually got it from said 10 to start with, then after us walking away a couple times, he dropped it down to 5RMB. But he started going in the wrong direction. We told him the proper way, and he was like, not for 5RMB. We kept saying we don't want it, and he just kept going, I was preparing to grab Yumi and jump out when he was like, "Ok." These guys are punks. It may sound that I am complaining about all this culture shock n stuff. But, I ain't culture shocking anymore. I have come to expect this stuff and deal with it. However, the chinese still do it constantly, because I am one white guy in a sea of thousands of chinese, they are not the ones learning, i am.
Goodnite all.

Posted by Phil at 04:51 PM | Permalink

Today, we woke up and packed everything real good. We checked out of the hotel around 930AM and thats when Wen showed up with his friend Wang Ying who wanted to meet us. She was a classmate from highschool that went to a different college in Shanghai. They see each other alot, but they aren't dating. Oh well. I asked front desk if they had any tape or rope to tie my sword boxes together, but they had none. We checked our baggage so they hotel would watch over it. Wen had given us some pre-made jiao-zi. I love that stuff. We put that in the fridge and I would need to cook it up tonite or else it would spoil. After we took care of all that, we headed out.
We headed for the subway stop to hit up the Pearl Tower. On the way there we would check little convenience stores. No one had it. We finally found some wide pink plastic string that fruit vendors and stuff tie things up with. I bought a bunch of strands and I packed it away for use later when we got back to the hotel. We grabbed food at that little fast food place across from the Subway station that we hit up last nite. Yumi and I just ate quickly because Wen and Ying already ate. It was ok. We headed to the subway and got to the Pearl Tower and bought the 50 RMB tix. They had like, 5 or 6 options. You could just go into the center at the bottom, or take the 50RMB option which is where you go up to the upper ball. Another option took you up to the big ball, then up to the Space ball. And another took you to the Space ball and allowed you to dine. And another option was just straight up to the space ball.
The prices got to be real expensive, so we went with the 2nd cheapest. It was a great view. Really pretty. We took lots of fotos up at the top. We posed a few and what not. It was very enjoyable. Yumi was acting like a kid in a candy store, very excited. Things were going a billion times better than yesterday. We did the views upstairs and then went down to the lower level where the exit elevator was as well as a walk outside. Unfotunately they way they had it fenced off was really hard to take any pictures without getting the fence lining in the shot. We then headed down the main floor where we debated what to do. Yumi had mentioned that if we had time she would like to check out Xintiandi quickly for some shopping for her mother, but we didnt have the time. So we debated on whether going to Nanjing lu for some last minute shopping or go into the Wax Museum at this center floor. I heard some good things about it. The concensus was to go to Nanjing Lu. No problem. Before I left, I took this killer picture of an elevator shaft that looked exactly like the inside of the weapon control room on the Death Star that fires the laser. So, I took a foto.
We headed out to Nanjing Lu and thats where Wang Ying seperated from us, she was heading back to her school. So we said goodbye and thanks and everything and split up. Wen came with us shopping and we found some things. We headed back to the hotel and got our stuff and I tied my boxes together for the trip. We then got a taxi to the Hong Qiao airport. I was very surprised that Wen came along. He didnt have to do that at all. They said it takes about 45 minutes to get to the airport, we got there quicker than that and they said the price was 50, but we got the fare for like, 43. Kool.
We then went to check in. They had a packaging service that had a machine that tied things down with plastic straps. So, I had them do it 3x on my swords. Great. Just in case. I checked it as luggage. Right away the scanner went off and they pulled it aside and started asking questions about it. "What are they? Where did you get them? Why?" Luckily they didn't open it so i didnt have to deal with replacing the straps. I am sure they would have in America just to piss me off. The image of them on the x-ray scanner was cool. Things are all lit up in different colors on those things. Very neon looking against a white background. The computer itself identifies issue things and circles it on the computer.
After doing that, we got our tickets and headed to the gate. Wen waited in line with us until the security check point and we said goodbye and thanked him for all his help. We then headed to sit down. We didn't wait too long because they started boarding almost when we got there. We got on the plane and got ready.
The plane ride home was fine. I noticed some yellow duct tape on the exit door across the cabin from me and I felt so much more secure. GREAT! They are reinforcing the exit door with duct tape. Its shouldn't fall apart now.......
They had too baggage areas for the flight from Shanghai for some reason. We went to the first and it there was nothing left after about 15 bags were taken off. I was like, THEY BETTER NOT HAVE LOST OUR STUFF!
But it was at the second claim thingy. Right away we found our bags and headed out. We had 3 options to get home. 1. Take a taxi all the way back 2. take taxi to bus station, get bus back. 3. take bus back to bus station and take a bus back to xiaolan.
Of course, spending so much money in Shanghai, taking the taxi all the way didn't seem too bad. We wanted it for 200RMB, and I figured we could pull that. Plus it would get us home quickest and I didn't want to spend so much time on a bus like last time. We asked around the taxi people and they were saying like, "500 RMB". We were like, Hellz NO! The guys wouldn't go below 300 because it was May Holiday and I was white. We said, 250 was fine and still no takers. One guy was like, yeah sure! So we snagged him, and we followed him and he took us away from the taxi line. Oh crap, this better be a licensed taxi. They claimed he was. They took us to this guy in a black sedan. He was a driver.
He reminded me of Jason Stratham in "The Transporter". I didn't have any bad feelings about it until after he asked Yumi her name and Yumi refused to tell him. I was like, OH CRAP! What did we get into. We were both nervous about the whole thing, and for about the first hour, we were quiet and stuff just trying to get a feel for the situation. I had my fone on speed dail for someone if anything happened like he attempted to abduct us. But, I started to notice landmarks that I have for going to Guangzhou, or Foshan. The major one is the giant Buddhist monastery on top of a hill. Very pretty.
So, once we got to the develpoing area that I recognized from the drive to Shenzhen, Yumi and I started feeling much better about it. And Yumi felt that she needed to apologize. So she did, and then we used the opportunity for me to practice some chinese with the driver. It was quite good. He was very nice and spoke with us. He helped me out alot and said my pronunciation was good. He said if Chinese would speak slower, I could understand much more. Which is very true. He was from Sichuan and has been living in Guangdong for 15 years. He is an independent taxi is what he said. He doesn't work for a company, so I am guess the income he makes is his. I guess thats good. The car was really nice and looked as if it was well taken care of and you could tell it had been in use for awhile. The beads on the seats, some scuffs, etc. The many CDs in the visor and a bunch of other things.
We got stuck behind a broken truck in Shunde and he would move around it because he wasn't paying attention because he was jabbering on his cellfone. I think that we couldn't have gotten back about 20 minutes sooner had he paid attention. We got back to Xiaolan around 745pm. He dropped us off at Yumi's place and i grabbed a covered taxi back to my place so Yumi could take care of some stuff and then head over for dinner, we had to eat all that Jiao-zi.
The food was ok. I have had better, but still good.
Well, time for bed. Sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 02:01 PM | Permalink

Today felt the worst of all days by far. Cause it was. First of all, i had replaced the battery in my fone with a recharged one around 11pm last nite. When I reset the time, i totally forgot to do it in Army time, because this fone only does that. What a tard i was. So, my alarm didnt go off at 615 like it was supposed to. We were woken up at 7AM by two chinese kids running and shouting down the hallway. Damn. So, we got ready in 30 minutes and headed out at 730AM and got to the subway station. I timed it, once we entered the subway station, it took us about 28 minutes to get to our destination. We had about 5 minutes to spare before we got onto the bus at the station. Thankfully. Hopefully today goes well.
The drive to Suzhou took much longer than it should because of traffic. We called Daisy's grandma a couple times trying to tell her when we would get there. It started raining outside. We got close to Suzhou and once we were in town heading to the bus station, Daisy's grandma called us and I chalk up the rest of the crap that went on during the day to that fone call. Bascially, she didnt listen to our directions that we would be arriving at the bus station in Suzhou, so she was waiting at the train station on the north side of the city. It was funny at first until we tried to get in touch with her and meet her. For some reason, we thought she was gonna come over from the train station to meet us. So, after we got off the bus we were waiting and looking around for her.
We got tix back to Shanghai, but they were to a different bus station than we came from. If we went to the same, we had to leave at 520pm, if we took the other we could leave at 720. Yumi didn't know where the other station in Shanghai was, and I said, if we get to Shanghai, it doesn't matter, we can find our way home. This pissed her off and she was like, "Well, I don't know where it is." I then took the tix to the info booth along with our map and asked the lady where the Shanghai bus station we would arrive at is located. She showed us and it was quite simple. Located right by Yufo Si. So, we will be able to get back easily. I think the fact that I did this really pissed Yumi off because at this point I noticed she started walking away from me and not talking to me.
On top of that it was raining a bit and all the taxi people were pestering us to go with them somewhere and we were all like SCREW OFF! On top of that, Daisy's grandma wasn't answering her fone! WTF! Answer the damn fone! We looked around a bit and then Yumi headed off and walked across the street without telling me why or anything. I figured she was going to see if someone was over there. I kept looking. She then called me ten minutes later with one sentence, "I am taking a bus to the train station." Then hung up. I was pissed. So, I thought she had left. Great. Leave me all alone. I walked around some more having no clue what to do and then Daisy Grandma called me and i had no idea of anything she was saying. I kept telling here that I didn't understand, but she ketp talking. This was terrible.
Then after that Yumi called asking why I wasn't waiting with her. So, I basically got really angry with her because she left me and didn't tell me anything.I had thought she was on the bus when she called. So I headed over there and she wouldn't speak to me. We got on the bus and headed down the main road, Ren Ming Lu (People's St). On the bus I got a fone call of someone speaking english and kept saying that Daisy's grandma was at the Lay-away Station. And I was like, wtf is he talking about? What's the Lay Away Station. Then after about 5 minutes I realized that he was saying, Railway Station. PRONOUNCE YOUR FRIGGIN' "R"s!!!!! So I told him we were on his way.
Once we got to the train station, we had already wasted about and hour or more. And we walked along the train station looking for them at the exit, but couldn't find them. Plus, she kept on not picking up her fone. ANSWER! When she finally did, she cut Yumi off because Yumi was speaking to her. (even writing about this is reminding me of how frustrating this was)
We finally met them and there were a couple relatives. Daisy's grandma's nephew said "My aunt has been waiting a long time at the train station for you." And I totally wanted to say, "Well, if she listened to our fuckin directions, and met us at the bus station like we said, this wouldn't have happened." But I kept quiet.
He was taking us over to Tiger Hill which is Suzhou's most favourite tourist attraction. It was quite beautiful. The sun had come out by this time. But Yumi stopped talking to me almost entirely. The only things she said to me was "so-so".
Women out there...the silent treatment is the worst way to let someone know you are mad at them because all it does is piss the other person off and doesn't solve anything. Give it up.
Tiger hill was really pretty. Since my dig cam was all filled, I was taking lots of video. There was this giant stupa that was tilted a bit like the Leaning Tower of Piza. Very nice. Lots of flowers, interesting rock shapings, and gardens. Very nice.
After we took a donkey pulled ride around the place we left thru the north exit. We sat in a city bus getting ready to go. I tried to patch things up and ask her what was wrong, but no response. So very irritating. We drove around and got off the bus and we went to lunch. What was really irritating about the whole experience was that Yumi was not talking to me, but talking to Daisy and her grandma like nothing was wrong. AAArggh. She said we would talk about things later. So I gave up trying to repair things.
The actual city of Suzhou is quite beautiful. Its how you think modern China should be. Modern stuff, but with older chinese style and architecture. Of all the modern cities I have been too, this was one of my favourites...from a very visual view. We walked to the walking streets and looked around for silk stuff. I couldn't find anything. It was pretty though.
Then we went to another called Lion Grove Garden and on the way there i spotted a kodak shop where I could transfer my fotos. This was the worse one I have been too. I basically got super frustrated with his lack of ability to do anything that I shoved him out of the way and did it myself. And I could have completed it myself had there been a keyboard present instead of just a mouse. He also had the monitor placed facing up out of a desk and reflected off a mirror, so the desktop was backwards. WTF is wrong with you people!!!!!!
That took forever and mad me so angry. Got the fotos copied. I wanted to eat the crap out of the guy. After that place, we went to Lion Grove Garden which had a bunch of stone mazes. This was kool, but easily to get lost. When we tried to leave, we couldn't find the exit.
As we were leaving the place, a beggar came by with a monkey on a leash. So I gave him 1 kwai for a foto with the monkey, thinking thats what he wanted. After he allowed me to take a foto and got angry and yelled at us for more money. And we were like, "We already gave you some." He started tapping our arms with his bowl and we had to push him away and yell. there were a couple of chinese people yelling at him to like, "Get away. Get a job." etc.
We then walked to the street. It was about 630 and Daisy's grandma got us a taxi to the bus station. Um...ok. We have like an hour. So, we got to the bus station and then walked around and tried to shop, but there was really nothing around. So we just walked aways and went to a little park next to the highway that was really pretty.
We took the bus home and on the bus we started talking about some things. And we got back to the hotel and discussed alot more. It was terrible, but we sorted things out, and its much better now. I wont' divulge much. Ok, time for bed, we are tired. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 02:33 PM | Permalink

This morning, we slept in because we were so tired. So we took our time getting ready to go out. We walked to a resturant on the corner to grab breakfast/lunch. Some really good pork was there. Yummy. Chinese do pork better than anyone on the planet. I payed the check and they skipped out on 1RMB of change. Its not that big a deal, chinese people like to round things off. At first, I didn't think they may have been trying to keep an extra buck, because if they do that to everyone, they can make some extra money. It wasn't till later on in the evening that i realized more places do this.
Afterwards we walked up to the Nanjing Lu subway station and headed out to go to Yufo Si (Yufo Temple). Oh man, was this place neat. Very pretty. It was great to see a difference finally. Actually, the only real difference in this temple was the color, it was Yellow instead of red, which, I have to say, does a lot. There was also alot to look at and it was very pretty. In addition, this temple contains an all jade buddha. Unfortunately they would not allow pictures or video to be taken so I whipped out a pen and some paper adn started making a brief sketch of everything. It was very beautiful. Lets see.
Across a rectangular room, whose floored was covered in a yellow/gold rug, a semicircle add on was added. In this stood a ornate wood and glass case. Inside was a jade Buddha siting in the lotus position with one hand touching the ground and the other in a hand pose. He was a greenish white color. Apparently it was carved from one chunk of jade. It was very pretty.
The room had 8 pillars holding up the roof, as corners of a square centering in the center of the room. There was a sunroof in the very center and on the sides of the molding on the whole place there were a total of 668 tiny Buddhas all facing the center of the room. Painted on the ceiling were lotus blossoms. On the walls hung wood carvings of famous scenes from Buddhist literature and history. It was very kool.
After that room, we walked around and took fotos. One of the rooms had these 3 giant sitting Buddhas. Another room had a buddha standing while other people/creatures were coming to see him. Very neat. At one point, I walked into one of the areas and I saw a monk/guard sitting there doing something on his cellfone. Very funny to see. I thought the whole point of buddhism was to free yourself of the trappings of this world...like cellfones! There were alot of white people at this place and most of them were German. I found myself tagging along on a tour group for a couple minutes and I seemed to understand the gist of what the chinese dude, who's German was very good, was saying. I was impressed and so were the few German people that I talked to briefly. I was wondering if he was gonna point it out, and he finally did. He pointed out the swastika on the buddha's chest. Basically said, "You should recognize this...." And went on to say that this is a very old symbol. And that "Der Furher" took the opposite of this and turned it on its edge. "I didn't know Buddhists were Nazis!?!?!"
We took fotos in those circular doorways. I put my feet on the walls and stood up. This got a couple monks sitting down somewhere, they started giggling. SWEET! I hope I just broke some monks vow of silence! That would be soooo kool.
We took off and grabbed a taxi back to the subway station where we headed over to the Pearl Tower. It was super crowded and I was looking for a foto shop because my camera was spent. I couldn't find one. The view was great. WE didnt' go up in the tower (which would later come up and bite my ass. Yumi wanted to go but she didn't tell me and I told her that i heard from two people the view wasn't all that good, read entry of May 7th). We ended up walking down by the river and taking fotos of things. We got some Hagen Daas and I got yelled at to wait in line for a seat when all I wanted to do was take out. I was like, "Dude! know the details before you yell!" As we walked around later, I had a person trying to sell stuff poke me. I yelled at her. DON"T POKE ME and that stoppped their pestering real quickly. I found a foto shop to do fotos at but they wanted 80RMB for what i wanted. I laughed in their face. We just walked around the rest of the day.
We went shopping on Nanjing Lu again and Yumi bought a bunch of stuff. I was looking for things, but couldn't find anything useful. We went and grabbed some food off the strip and this was where all the chinese resturants are...in the alleyway. The service sucked and the menu translation was really bad. I ordered what it said was Pig and WonTons, but what I got was Lima Beans and Pig's Feet. I HATE EATING THE FEET OF ANY ANIMAL! THERE IS NO MEAT! Yumi said its because of the cartilage or collogen there that help make your skin look good. But I don't like it. So, i just had the vegetables and garlic. And beer. Which made me feel much better. We weren't all that hungry. On the check, they tried to rip me off by about 5 RMB. So pathetic. You think I am that stupid not to be able to read prices of what we ordered. And yes, they were trying to rip us off, it wasn't a mistake that they made either. We walked around the city a bunch more. Tried to find more Nanjing Lu, but we couldn't so we walked down to Haui Hai Lu and went to shops n stuff. It was ok.
When all the shops started closing we headed back to XinTianDi to check out the nitelife. Boy was it lame. Prices were super high for crappy drinks, so we left after looking in a couple bars. And it had started raining. So we took a taxi back to the hotel and went to the hotel resturant for some drinks. That was nice. We had a real good time.
Time for bed, we need to get up for Suzhou tomorrow, which should be fun. We are going to meet Daisy and her grandmother and buy some silk.

Posted by Phil at 01:31 PM | Permalink

Today turned out to be one terrible day. I was so disappointed with it. We woke up and got to the bus station with about 30-20 minutes to spare. That was a relief. The bus station was packed! Wow. Crazy busy. We got on our bus at 8am and the bus ride was no problem. There was construction on the rode, but no traffic jams. We got to Hangzhou around 10-1015AM. Once we got off, we were like, ok, need to buy tix back so we searchd all over for the ticket booth. We waited in line for about 15 minutes before we could get them. The ticket area was swamped with many lines of many people. It was quite amazing to see all these people in order. The latest ticket we could get back was 620pm. Damn, that means we only have a little bit of time. But we can get alot done in 7-8 hours. HA HA HA HA! Thats when the day took a turn for the worse.
We couldn't find any public transportation and the streets were jammed packed with people. We tried to get a taxi, but realized that there were no free ones, so we had to go back a block or so to stand in line at the taxi port. It didn't help since I had no clue where anything was and Yumi kept asking me questions and going off on her own to find things without telling me. I was starting to get very irritated with the lack of communication. And Yumi started getting more emotionally closed off. Great..just what we needed.
We stood in line for the taxis and it was crowded. There was a lady and a big fat blind guy begging for money on the side of the stand and then i noticed a little lady going thru the line begging for money. And of course, seeing the white guy, they all descend upon me and begged. And stuff. Its funny how they seem so desperate and seem so interested in you and then when they figure out that you are not gonna do anything, they completely change and go to the next person. Its really a site to see.
We continue to stand in line and Yumi and I were getting closer to the end and we were both silent...and it sucked. Ugh. Then about 4 chinese people had busted their way thru the line and were cutting big time up to the front. I saw this and did something. The wife got thru, but I was able to stop the husband and the mother. It was completely astonishing to them. They couldn't believe it. They said some stuff to me and I was just like, "I don't understand." So, for them to avoid losing face, they did raise too much of a stink until the wife kept getting closer and I wasn't letting them thru. She told them to come up, but I wouldn't let them. I had my hand across their path holding on to the railing not letting them thru. I could sort of see the rage building up in Yumi. The husband then asked me very politely, softly, in slightly broken english "could you please move your arm?" ...I was like, "No, not until you learn your lesson. You dont' cut inline, you wait." It was at this point the grandma said something to Yumi, and I was completely surprised by her response. I have so much more respect for her now after I saw her spar with an old chinese lady and win. IT RULED! She laid into them telling them to wait in line like everyone else. I was so cool to see. It went back and forth for a short time and Yumi obviously won. The husband and mother shut up. Then a couple other chinese people in line piped up and said that they should wait like everyone else and they told them what I felt. I felt justified after that. When it came time for the wife to get a taxi she called them and they asked me to let them thru. By this time I had lowered my arm and I was like, "Go. For all I care. I just hope you feel terrible and learned a lesson." They didn't understand this and thought I was still holding them back. It ruled. Yumi was really upset over this, not so much by this, but by the chinese. She yelled in English, "Its the chinese people, the chinese culture, they are crazy!" Whoa. She was mad. We got in our taxi and that was the end of that.
But is was the start of something else entirely. We told the driver and showed her on a map that we wanted to go to the walking street area for shopping and what not because it was right next West Lake, the big attraction. First of all, it took us nearly 10 minutes to get onto the road. And then she took us all over town trying to rip us off. I realized after a bit that she was taking us in the wrong direction. I looked at the map and found where we were and she was going way out of the way and pissing me off. So during a stop light, I showed her the map and asked why were here when we wanted to go here. I told her to go to a closer stop now that we were too far from the walking street. We headed to the Shangri La hotel which is right by the north tip of west lake. And of course, she got stuck in a traffic jam, and then it started pouring rain, hard. Terrible. We were in that taxi for 1 hour before we got to our destination and it cost us a bunch. I told Yumi I wasn't paying more than 20 since she was ripping us off, but when we finally got there, Yumi paid the full amount thinking I made a mistake. Nope, I didnt'. I was very angry with the drivers thougths of ripping me off. I wanted to make her head explode.
We got out and tried to get our bearings. It was still raining so we walked around a bit trying to figure out where to go, then I noticed a shop selling swords that they were selling in Shanghai. This were much cheaper. One sword in Shanghai was 2300RMB, here, it cost 600RMB. Sweet. So I was looking at them and thinking about which one i should get. I wanted the most expensive one cause it was big and heavy. But 600 is alot. Then, a chinese guy bought a sword about 575RMB for 200RMB. Yumi told me this, so I grabbed the 600 one and laid it down and said, 250. They lady gave me this, "Are you serious look?" And I laughed at her, pointed at the guy who had left, and said, he got this thing for over 375 off. Fuck you, you cheat." She tried to explain that this one was more expensive. I was like, they are practically the same price!!! Hows is this more expensive. She tried for 300, but we started to walk and she said, OK. I was just like great. Afterwards, I was like, i could have gotten it for 200. Oh well. Since it was such a good deal, I was like...hmmm.....Give me two. So I picked up two really nice swords in Hangzhou for 500RMB. These swords in America would have costed well over 200 US, if you could ever find them. You would have to have them shipped from china. I got them for about 30US. Awesome.
I got one black, for myself, and I got a brown one for Guo Sifu as a gift. I plan to have a little metal plate attached to the scabbard thanking him for his time and teaching as well as try and get someone to engrave the blade of it. I think that would be really nice. I hope he likes it. The problem with getting them now was that I had to carry them with me the whole time we were in Hangzhou. And these things were heavy.
We were hungry and wanted to get out of the rain, so we ducted into a resturant for lunch. It was some good food. There was this little girl at a table next to us that couldn't stand to look at either of Yumi or I, so whenever we looked in her direction, she was look away very dramatically. There was also this time this little boy was running around and ran up to me and stopped and stood next to me at the table. I was like, "Hey, what's up?" Then he jumped in surprised. I guess he was trying to look for something else and didn't intend for that. After that, he backed away from me. Almost as if in fear. I ran up to the bathroom and left my stuff at the table with Yumi. When i got back, the table next to us that had a bunch of older chinese men and women eating had all left. I sat back down and Yumi looked upset a bit. I was like, "What's the matter?"
She said, "When you were in the bathroom, that group got up to leave, and one of the old ladies tried to steal your umbrella sitting on your chair."
Are you serious?
"Yes! I was so mad, I just stared at her when she went for it, and then she realized I was staring, she looked back and her friend shook her head like it was no good. Like she was her look out."
That blew my mind. Even and old woman, who is most likely a mother, and has enuff money to help pay for a feast of food, which they ate, is trying to steal my stuff and not buy her own 15RMB umbrella. Disgusting! Here is a woman that should be teaching right and wrong to people and she is doing wrong things. Ugh! It messes with your mind. We got up to leave.
The rain let up but the sun couldn't come out of the clouds, and there was a mist over the lake. It was sorta pretty. I think if the sun was poking thru more, it would have been great. Almost immediately I noticed Yumi closing in on herself and she was quiet most of the trip around the West Lake. What am I supposed to do, I try to get communication going, but none happens. I don't know what to do. We walked around the lake and we took pictures. All the while carrying those swords.
After walking around we tried to figure out what to do next. Where to go. We only had a couple hours left and no where near the time we needed to see all the things we wanted and traffic was horrible so taxis would just get stuck. After a lot of indecision on both parts, we decided on General Yue Fei's Tomb. The place was big with lots of stuff, pretty much the same temple layout as every other chinese temple in existence. While we were there it had started to rain, then it stopped, then it started again. And Yumi was more and more closed in making me feel terrible not knowing what's the matter.
After the tomb, it was like 330pm. We spent about 30 minutes trying to find a taxi or a bus, but we couldn't read the signs of where the buses were going. It was such a waste and it was raining so much and we were both upset.
Taxis that were empty were just going by and most taxis were filled. So we walked up to the Shangri La to ask about bus lines and taxi things, and the chinese guy was like, "You have to wait in line like everyone else." I am like, "I am not asking you if I could get a ride now, I am asking where, Jerkface! Give me information and understand me before you scold me." I was pissed. We ended up just waiting on the steps to the Shangri La and grabbed a taxi. We told him the bus station. And he was like, sure. This guy was insane. For more than half the trip he was driving on the wrong side of the rode doing well over 2x the speed limit while passing police cars and them not doing anything. Wow. Almost had a couple head on collisions. We made it to the bus stop in about 20 minutes and the fare was 20RMB, less than half of what the cheater tried to get off us. The bus station was not far at all, it just proved to us more that that woman was trying to rip us off and I was even more angry.
We spent about 1.5 hours waiting at the bus station for our ride. We were so pissed off with this trip. I don't know why it went haywire. I swear I don't. It just sucked. I hate Hangzhou. Well, I hated the experience, the city itself has potential, it was just too rainy and foggy to see anything.
The bus station was a whole other experience. The place was uber crowded and there were people sitting on the floors on newspapers and stuff. I also had a woman and her son kneel at my feet and beg me for money while the son tugged at my pants. UGH! Get away! You have the time and ability to have a child! How could you do that to your son! They obviously have chosen not to look for work or better themselves in some way. Even if they have been born into this. Its really shitty to see. And it messes with you, especially when you want to help people, but if you give these beggers money, it won't help them, they will just continue to do it tomorrow and the next day. I have in my mind that WWJD thing that was going around during College. I think about it sometimes. Nowhere in the bible do we see Jesus pestered with beggers constantly. Its hard to deal with. All the rhetoric in America about helping each other doesn't really apply to people that have no desire to be helped. I don't know. I am not thinking hard enuff to focus this and make any grand statement. I just felt like junk not being able to help these people because I know they just want money and they can actually make a living off of this. Aubri and I had a discussion about this in Beijing.
Somewhere in the bus station after I found us some seats, things started to get better between Yumi and me. Its friggin' wierd. I don';t know whats going on. The ride back to Shanghai was ok with no real problems. Well, we be tired. Off to bed.

Posted by Phil at 10:38 AM | Permalink

Woke up about 745AM this morning. Got prepared because Wen said he would be there about 900AM to go out with us. He was late in getting there. He texted me that he would be late by a couple minutes. It was around 915AM that I called him to see about his location and length of time. Right as the fone rang, he walked thru the door. Kool. We were gonna head out and have breakfast, but Wen said he already ate, so Yumi and I said, ok, we can hold over for awhile. Neither of us was too hungry. Today was the day we were going to museums.
First we went to the Natural History Museum which had a few a dinosaur bones and a mastadon. It also had a couple chinese mummies and a bunch of stuffed animals. It was actually quite lame. A friend said that it was UNBELIEVABLE, but he mistook it for the Shanghai History/Art Museum. We were there for awhile, which I guess was good. The amazing thing about this place is that the inside of this building looked just as old as the fossils inside. The place was falling apart. View the pictures to understand what I am talking about. There was a thick layer of dust covering the dinosaur bones. It was disgusting. And the placement of some of the bones for the displays were out of order. (For years I wanted to be a palientologist and i took scientific illustration classes in college...so I know about dinosaurs and museum stuff) The way they had them displayed was if they had done so about 20 years ago and never updated them with new evidence. It was obvious they didnt care from the way they treated the building and the things inside. Disgusting.
Afterwards, we searched for the subway station because we wanted to head over to XinTianDi. First of all, we were on the main West to East road of the city, YanAn Lu. We had to walk about 4-5 blocks north to Nanjing Lu before we found the subway entrance. Right away I realized that I disliked this subway. And continuously throughout the week, it kept reaffirming itself. Don't believe the hype. The Shanghai Subway system is very inconvenient. All the station stops are far off from anything that you want to see, except for People's Square and the Pearl Tower. But those stops are so packed its a crap shoot to grab a train. It was thru my experience on the subway in Shanghai in which I just couldn't let go of the chinese way of doing things and tried to explain courtesy. I tried. I tried my hardest. I basically told them and used motions to explain to the people that you let people off first and then come in on the sides. You don't run head on into them all at once like a battle.
Subways that a fantastic: Toronto and Hong Kong. Bad subways: Shanghai....and, well, I can't really remember San Fran's subway system well, or France's, or even Washington DC's, but i do remember the stop, "Foggy Bottom".
Crossing the street on Nanjing Lu, and anywhere of importance in Shanghai, on a beautiful sunny afternoon during holiday season is like the battle scenes from Bravehart, without all the killing and weapons. A mass of people charging headlong into another opposing mass of people and not carrying what type of infliction they cause. Its profound. Really. Nowhere have I seen this before...i mean, not out of China.
We got to XinTianDi and again, I was very disappointed. It was just a bunch of highscale shops that sold overpriced junk. The bars and eateries there were all severly overpriced foreign styled with no Chinese eateries in site. I am in friggin' Shanghai and I can't find Chinese food! AAAARGGGH!!! A bottle of beer that I can get in Xiaolan for 5 RMB costs 60+RMB. !!!!!!!!! We walked around and left quickly and we checked out this block of buildings that surrounded the area. Apparently it has a style of architecture only found in Shanghai. We ate a small bite at one of the cafes there. It was ok. The bread was good. That was it.
We then hit up the Site of the First Congress of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). I went out of curiosity. "Know your enemy". I wonder how much of the information and history located in this place has been whitewashed and changed. It was also interesting reading about the Koumingtang since this is during the same time as the Taiwanese KMT Head is visiting the Mainland. First major meetings in 60 years. I felt gross watching that stuff on TV. I can bet you any money, if Gabriel was still alive and strong enuff, he would put his hand thru the TV. He must be rolling over in his grave. If you dont know, Gabe was in Cheng Kai-Shek's KMT army during the fight against the CCP. I was reading all this stuff about treachery among members of the CCP and the KMT in regards to the Chinese people. Really interesting.
Afterwards we headed over to Haui Hai Lu to checked out this walking street. It was ok. Not like Nanjing Lu. Not as expensive either. It was pretty. We walked down the street and then walked over to the Shanghai Museum. We got to the museum and, to let you know, I love museums. Toronto's is great, Ann Arbor's, and many others that I have been too have been great. I could go to them a bunch of times. I think they are great. The Shanghai Museum has sooooo much potential, but frankly, I was bored with alot of it. I don't really care to go back. I mean, I hate to say it, but all I saw was pots made out of clay, porcelian, and metal. They paintings they had on display weren't all that good and they weren't preserved very well. The look of the place was great, but the material was the same thing over and over. It got to the point where I was like, "Oh, look, another pot. fantastic." totally sarcastic. I took pictures of interesting things that I found. Thats what you will see. There is not much else I found very interseting there. The most interseting room was the Ethnic Minority room. That was kool.
Afterwards, we walked out onto People's Square. It was big and sunny and blue in the sky. The sun shone off all the silver and glass buildings surrounding the square. Very nice. It had picked up wind and people were flying kites all over the place. So, I took some fotos and video. A couple kites collided and fell to the ground and got their strings tied all up. Awesome. While I was shooting some video, a girl came over to me looking all him and was like, "Hey, you want Rolex?" And said it a couple times and showed it to me and I just looked at her briefly like, "Whats wrong with you?" and went back to doing my stuff. She was about to continue but some cops walked by so she just pretended to sit pretty. Then she just watched me.
After this, we went to the Subway stop. Its really funny when I know where to go when the person living in Shanghai doesn't. It makes me feel powerful for some reason. ;-) Just kidding. Wen took us down a wrong turn. And since it was construction season during the holiday season, it was a long detour. We took the subway to the Hong Qiao bus station. Well, the stop closest to the station. It was during this subway time that I yelled at some chinese people because they didn't know how to get on the subway. But I yelled at them in Chinese, which surprised the hell out of them. THe great thing was...it worked!!! They waited for those too get off and then we got on. It ruled! Once we got to the stop, we had to walk about 6 blocks to get to the station. We bought our tickets for Hangzhou tomorrow for 8AM. We tried for 7, but they were all sold out. I hope its nice. Hopefully all the people will come to Shanghai for Chinese May Day.
This area of Shanghai, right as we emerged from the subway station, I realized that I liked this part of Shanghai. This part was really China. Like all of Hong Kong feels HongKong/China and not so much western. Just like Beijing too. Beijing felt like China. THe part of Shanghai we spent most of our time in felt like America or something wiht chinese writing. The building that the subway was under was holding the 48th Ping Pong Championships. They really made it look ornate.
On the way back to the mall next to the station, we stopped for some Dim Sum dinner. OH MAN, WAS IT GOOD! I loved it! This area was kool and so was the food. Too bad we aint in this area. The KFC was a killer though. We chatted alot during this dinner and I got to speak a lot of chinese with the waiters n stuff. It was fun. Still not great, but getting better. If I could just remember everything I have been taught.
We went into the mall and there was nothing that i needed. The sony store had stuff I wanted, but it was expensive and I didn't need it. A DVD shop had the entire boxset of The Transformers, but I was reluctant to purchase it because the lady wouldn't let me check it to see if it was legit. Damn you! Yumi had seperated from us to look at stuff so we went off on our own. We then met up later and we spent about 6 minutes watching this little baby girl dressed in a Tigger outfit play and bounce on the dirty floor. Oh man. So cute, but so sad to see her playing in the filth. Well, we headed out after that and went to the subway and headed back to the hotel.
Yumi and I got foot massages and they were really good. I had my contacts off and there was this little girl, the head lady's daughter, but the kid was short, chubby, with a short boy bowl cut and wearing a black and white shirt. She was really shy and the lady said she is afraid of foreigners. So i told her in Chinese while she was hiding behind the bar, "I'm a nice foreigner!" Throughout the massage we had about a 3 minute game of peek-a-boo going. She then just stared at me and when I called her over, I still thought that she was a boy so I called her "Xiao Di" little brother. And her mom was like, no......xiao mei (little sister). But I thought she said Xiao Bei so I was confused, then I realized 10 minutes later when I saw the frills on her shirt that she said xiao mei and that this boy was a girl. Don't I feel like a jackass. Well, I am mush right now. Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 01:40 AM | Permalink

in this country and city. I woke up to Liu Ci-Wen's text messages. "Are you up yet? When do want to meet?" We be up now, Fool! We were both hungry and it was 945AM. I thought we would sleep until 11 but no! it looks gorgeous outside. The sun is shining bright and hopefully it stays. I wonder what website Yumi looked at for the weather.
While gettin ready, I clogged the toilet which proceeded to clog the pipes or something and the water from the tub couldn't drain properly after I showered. Thankfully, Yumi went first and we were out of this room in about 20 minutes. By the time we were ready to do anything it was 1130am. Ci-wen was at lunch and then he said he was gonna be on his way here. We went down to the front desk to change our room and pay for the rest of the week. Its really funny when a businesses own practices confuse them. They lady dealing with us was unaware of why we put a deposit down. It took them awhile to figure it out and then they did. The room they finally gave us was the room right next door to the one we were in last nite. Pretty funny. Its not nearly as big or nice. Just one room with a bathroom.
We then went down to find some lunch/breakfast. We went across the alleyway, thru an additional hotel, thru another hotel section that had the white paint falling off the black walls. Then we walked thru another marble area where a security guard sat and then thru glass doors to the resturant. It felt like the scene in "Goodfellas" where the guys were walking all through the kitchen. The resturant was very pretty and the food wasn't really expensive, and on top of that, it was really good.
Almost immediately I was spotted by a little boy and his mother on the second floor balcony which is the way towards the private rooms. So I waved and he got all excited and pointeed at me much more. Yumi and I were in the process of ordering food when I noticed he was still looking and his mom was encouraging him to stare, then I noticed the father was videotaping me. Geez! Its like you've never seen a white person before. About 5 minutes later the boy wanted to come down to meet me. He came down with his mom and his videotaping father. I asked him some questions and he couldn't answer them. He was all shy and stuff. His mom was trying to help him a little, but it wasn't really working. So spoke to him in some chinese. "What's your name?" He got all excited and stood on one leg and held his hands in a superhero pose and shouted, "I am Ultraman!" It was SOOOOOO FRIGGGIN CUTE!!!! I wish I had video of it. He did it like three times and he got even more excited with each time. I got a foto taken with him and I taught him the High-5. He went back upstairs for a birthday lunch or something.
After our wonderful and tasty lunch, I went up to say goodbye to the little kid. I took my video cam to maybe get some video of him saying that he is Ultraman, but when I got there, they were all busy with their family and meal. I just waved to the kid and he waved back and said "Bye Bye". It was so wonderful. What a great way to start the day. You may think I find this annoying. I don't bother being stared at my curious kids, because its in their nature. Now, if it were grown ups doing this, I would think otherwise.
All during lunch I was texting Wen to find out where he was. He was coming to the hotel so we waited for him in the lobby. While waiting, I asked the staff just milling around for help on locating places in Shanghai. This map I bought last nite at the front desk doesn't really tell you where everything is very well. You have to ask someone to find specific places that it mentions on the side of the map. It took three guys to help find some things. Its really funny and sometimes frustrating when people who live in a tourist town don't know where the sites are. Wen showed up around 1pm and we went to our room to make a plan of things to do today.
1st: Take a taxi to Yu Yuan Gardens.
2nd: Walk up to Nanjing Lu for shopping and then walk along the Bund at nite.
More or less thats what we did today. We hailed a taxi and hopped in. I said, Yu Yuan Gong Yuan and the driver didnt understand it. Wen said it, and the driver didn't understand it. He then said it agian and then a whole conversation endured and fingerpointing was involved. Then once we finally moved off, after he turned left, he got stuck in traffic. There were tons of people. "Ren tai duo" - too many people.
I said we should just get out and walk and Wen said no. Then about 5 minutes later and only 100 meters covered, the driver said that we should get out and walk. He maneuvered around some cars and almost hit a few people on his way to the sidewalk. It would have taken about 30 minutes to get there on foot, and we prolly travelled the distance of 10 walking minutes by being stuck in traffic for 15 minutes. Do you understand that. On my way out of the taxi, I smashed my sore knee in the door. That hurt. The walk there was nice and I took lots of fotos. Before the actual place, there was this little shopping mall that we walked thru. On the way to the entrance there was alot of old school architecture and it was very pretty and very crowded. When we got to the entrance of Yu Yuan, there was more shopping areas and much more people. You couldn't walk with out smashing into them. I don't know if this is better or worse than the tour groups in the Forbidden City. You couldn't move without bumping into someone. Of course, the chinese add insult to injury...literally by smashing into people and not saying excuse me or being polite. We were all very careful about our personal property as well. I swear I felt my butt pockets we being violated more than 1- times. Thugs, thieves, and chinese. It was like moving around in a mosh pit at a concert. So many people pushing and shoving. I sear I thought I would see someone body surfing by with long hair, no shirt, tongue hanging out, devil horns blazing, while shouting REO Speedwagon Friggin' Rules!!!
Throughout the whole trip to Yu Yuan, I visited about four sword shops. There were some gorgeous high quality specimens. I wanted them all. No spring steel or flexible metal here. Heavy metal blades that lack sharp edges. I wanted them all! They were so gorgeous, hte scabbards and all. Before I leave I may come back to purchase one as a gift for Sifu. I picked one up that was 150000RMB!!! The guy immediately said I couldn't afford it. I think Wen misplaced a zero, but still,thats expensive. Why he even bothered to let folks touch it or try to sell it is beyond me. At other shops I found some nice ones but they wanted like 2300RMB for a nice one. I couldn't believe the prices. Thats way too much. I hope I can find a better deal.
There was a kool wishing tree in the center of the shopping area. I like the one in the Foshan Zu Miao better. They also had some Puppet shows going on. Also as we walked by shops, people would come up and ask me to see art exhibits. Its prolly the only English they know. We got to the temple and I just wanted to take fotos. Didn't want to go in since it was uber crowded. It was still a gorgeous day. We walked around alot and ran into alot of people.
We went to this other area which has a bridge over a nice green pond. This bridge was packed with people, I saw no movement. This bridge led to the actual garden area. Yumi and I were like, lets not even bother. We will come back sometime. So we headed out. Hagen Daas is all over this city.
We walked out of there after trying to get back and we then went over to Guchen Park. They had a bamboo forest that they were trying to control its growth here. They also had little pools for kids to catch goldfish in. There was also a gorgeous view of the Pearl Tower and surrounding buildings. From there we decided to walk over to the Bund and towards Nanjing Gonglu. We got to the southern Bund area and started heading norht to Nanjing Lu. There were lots of people and i took lots of fotos. I at times stood on railings to get above the crowd to get better shots.
We then walked along Yan An street away from the Bund to right by our hotel and then we took Sichuan Zhong lu up to Nanjing Lu. I was kinda wondering why we just didn't go up the Bund to Nanjing Lu, but then we were able to get a view of the area surrounding the hotel. Which was good. We finally got to Nanjing Lu and boy was it lame. Overcrowded, overrated, overpriced, and devoid of anything chinese. It was all foreign shops n stuff. It actually disgusted me. If I wanted this, then I would go back home. then I realized that, most chinese come here because its western and they want a taste of it. Which is good and all, but i just didn't like it. It was hella crowded and there was a McDonald's, KFC, Subway, and Pizzahut almost every 200 meters. There was no chinese resturants at all. We ended up at Subway. Ugh. Subway was in the basement and the bathroom was on the 4th floor.
Nanjing Lu is a very long street. We went to this place called Itokin, an overpriced Japanese shop that offers clothes that Yumi loves. She doesn't like Chinese clothes so she gets her hands on all the MK Klien she can get.
Ci Wen helped me plan for tomorrow and Hangzhou and Suzhou.
As we left Itokin, it had gotten dark. And Nanjing Lu's beauty comes out at nite. The lites were wonderful. All over the place. We walked along the street and got Hagen Daas. As you walk along Nanjing Lu, you get asked all these were questions, "Do you want some shoes?" "Do you want some rolex?" etc. I would constantly have people coming up to me with broken english trying to ask me stuff. At one point i spoke to the guy in Chinese and said, "I don't speak English." Wen started laffing and so did Yumi as the guy started speaking to me in Chinese and I had no idea what he said. It was great. There was this one guy that I swear I heard say "Butt Naked" as he was pointing to Yumi. It was wierd.
After that, around 9pm, Wen took off to go home and left us alone. So Yumi and I walked to the North part of the Bund and took beautiful nite shots. It was gorgeous. Superly overcrowded hurting the experience a little. I ran into a couple where the father could speak a bit of english. He wanted to take a foto of his son with me.
On the way back to the hotel, I found a foto shop that was able to transfer my pictures to a CD-R. 130 Fotos. It took the guy like 25 minutes. He was like a turtle. I so wanted to punch him and do it myself. I don't understand why it seems like the guys that run these shops don't know how to use their own technology. I could get this done in less than five minutes. We walked to the hotel and we were super tired. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 06:14 PM | Permalink

This morning I spent most of my time putting together the odds and ends for going to Shanghai this afternoon. Our bus leaves at 350pm, so we will have to get to the bus stop at 330pm. Then once we get to Shenzhen Bus Station after a theoretical 2 hours, we have to hop another bus to the airport which will take another hour. Its May 1st/May Day today, which is a holiday, Labour Day in China. Anywho, i was running an errand thru the downtown area by the KFC. The place was packed. People spilling onto the street more so than usual. I haven't seen it really crowded in this city since the Xiaolan Chrysanthemum Festival. However, the place wasn't no where near packed as the Chrysanthemum Fest.
After running my errand, I continued getting everything ready. Clothes are all packed and so are all my nick nacks and stuff. I chatted with my Dad a bit about stuff and then he said the DVD was good. They liked it. Of course, they have to say that, they are my parents. Yumi then IM-ed me and said that its to rain all week in Shanghai. CRAP! There go some good outdoor shots. Who knows, pray that the weather report is wrong. I had to go to 1+1 for some travel toothpaste and eyesolution, and an umbrella, as well as lunch. So, I hopped on the bike and started out. On my way thru the back ways, which is a shortcut, I was riding around the corner when I spotted an old chinese man in a Latino Wife-Beater and wearing a pair of poke-a-dot boxers standing over the sewer drain. In one hand he was holding a dead duck by the neck and bleeding it over the sewer while holding a butcher's knife in his other hand. What a great image. I finally came out from the backstreets onto the main drag where the 1+1 was. Man, this place was jammed packed. There were lines outside 1+1 out onto the street. Oh man, this is gonna suck. I parked my bike and went to lock it. Now, I haven't mentioned this before, but the last couple weeks I have been having trouble removing my key from the bike lock. It gets stuck in there. Why does everything not work in China like it should? I spent about 5 minutes trying to remvoving it, but nothing worked. Luckily, the lock wasn't stuck as well. I was able to open it and everything, i just couldn't remove the key. So I was like, "Crap, I can't leave the bike here with the key cause some punk will steal it." I rode home dropped the bike off and walked backed.
It was really crowded on the sidewalks and chinese people walk really slow, so I had to skip by them on the street.
I got into the shop and why those people were standing out in front of the store, I have no clue. Maybe they were waiting to steal people's wallets and bags as they came out of the store. The lines were surprisingly short because they had all the registers open. There were lines up all over the store...not for registers but to get the next egg or the next box of tea, fish, meat, etc. Whatever. I went up stairs and grabbed some toothpaste and eye solution. I then went searching for an umbrella. I went to the 3rd floor and asked a lady, "Ni you mei you yi ge san?" In almost perfect chinese. She got all worried, so I said it a couple more times thinking that I said something wrong, but I didn't. I showed her the motion of opening an umbrella and putting it over your shoulder, and she was like, "Ahhh....san." THATS WHAT I FRIGGIN SAID, YOU HALF WIT!!!!
She didn't know the answer so she walked around and asked someone and it was down on the 2nd floor. She wrote out something in chinese on a little scrap paper to give it to someone to direct me. And I am like, "Bitch, I don't need this. What's wrong with you?" So I went, asked someone, and found it. That's right. How's that for a middle finger.
I went down to the register and bought my stuff and walked out of there. I was actually quite suprised at the ease of going to this supermarket at this time of day with this many people. I think i spent no more than 20 minutes finding everything and paying for it. Of course, the people in the store were walking like turtles so I had to maneuver around them.
I headed back to my place. "Its such a nice warm and gorgeous day", I thought as I was walking home. "Why does it have to be ruined by these middle and old-aged chinese men with no muscle tone and nasty potbellies not wearing any shirts and if they do wear shirts, why are they pulled up to their armpits to expose their disturbing appearance. And why are they rubbing their tummies and slapping them like George C. Scott in "Dr. Strangelove" when he learns that the bombers have been sent to Russia (well, this is what we're gonna do...*slap*)?" GOD!!!! SMITE THEM, PLEASE!
Its strange. Chinese people are small and are really skinny, so once their body starts to store excess energy in the form of fat on their bodies, it really shows. And of course they present it to the whole world to see. Like those friggin' sorority girls at UofM in the Chemistry Science Learning Center wearing midriff exposing shirts that let their guts hangout over their ass tight jeans with stretched out sun tatooes around their bellybuttons with belly button rings that have cause inflammation. And then when they bend over to pick something off the floor, their strategically placed stripper tatoo in the small over their back is exposed along with their thong underwear when their ass tight jeans slide down just a bit. How many times did I want to throw up in the chemistry building (and it wasn't because of the chemical stench I was dealing with) I do not know.
Well, enuff of my rambling. Its getting late, I need to shower before I pack the last of little things and be on my way. I may not have access to a computer in Shanghai to write journal entries, but I will take notes and then post entries when I get back. Like I did for Beijing and Kunming. I will also post any fotos I took. Take care all. Have a wonderful weekend.

Leaving the house:
After finishing up packing, showering, and sending out an update, I took premptive measures to make it harder and more of a pain in the ass for a thief to break into the house...well, more like my room and steal anything from me. I hid my guitars under the bed along with my computer. However, I chained the computer to the window and concealed the chain behind the window shades and mosquito netting. I put my harddrives in the closet and placed all my cords in drawers. I then locked the door as I left. If a theif does get in, I want to make it hard for him/her. Too bad I forgot to take the battery out of the computer or something.
I headed out. The streets were packed and all the chinese were staring at the gweilo with two bags and mirrored sunglasses. It took about 10 minutes to get to the bus station when it usually takes 2 minutes. So crowded. But still a gorgeous day. Yumi called me while I was on the bike. She was on time for once. :D I got there 5 minutes before the bus showed up. Of course the bus was late to leave. We had to wait for a hotel shuttle bus to drop people off. They came at 4pm when the bus was to leave at 350pm. We drove off finally around 405pm. Not a big deal. But maybe considering the roads may be crowded all the way to Shenzhen.
After leaving the station, we had to deal with pedestrian crowded streets. We almost hit a couple people and literally the driver turned head on into a car. They both stopped in time. The road we turned on was underconstruction its normal 2lanes on either side was now 1 lane on either side with no signs or directions. There were people driving all over the place. Totally DWA. We finally got to the big Xiaolan Bus Station and after about 10 minutes of waiting for people to board, the driver got back on and started yelling at everyone standing to sit down or get off. Apparently there was another bus heading to Shenzhen that was late at arriving to the station. So, we had all these people on the bus checking their tickets with other passengers that were sitting in their seats thinking that it was overbooked. This was causing problems. The bus driver began shouting and shoving as well as the other passengers yelling and shoving. You may think that stragne, but its common in China. Yumi was like, "I don't know why chinese are like this?" I understood a bit of what the driver was shouting, so Yumi was giving me the "Play by Play" and she was giggling. The bus driver said that we were already late by 20 minutes and so he was yelling to get the people off the bus.
Much to my surprise the drive to Shenzhen was fine. There were no hold ups whatsoever. There was about 5 minutes where the driver stopped the bus at a gast station in the middle of nowhere for a passanger urination break, but only one fella got off. The bus driver had gotten off after and went to check something...i know, he was really going to smoke crack out behind the bus. He got back onto the bus not realizing that the man who took the urination break had gotten back on. So, he sat there for about 2 minutes laying on the horn. It was great. No one bothered to tell him that the guy had gotten on the bus. I thought it was really funny so I just enjoyed it.
We got to the bus station around 620pm. We had past the highway exit for the airport around 550pm. There is no direct bus from Xiaolan to that airport. We had to backtrack with a shuttle bus from the Shenzhen bus station. Trying to find the shuttle bus was a pain. No one could give us definite directions. "Oh, its across the street." So, we went across the street via the overpass. On our way to the overpass, i felt horrible. I saw a woman sitting on the sidewalk crosslegged holding her baby as she was picking rice out of a trash can she had tilted over. I was just completely struck by it. It was freaky. She was wearing nice clean clothes which made it look even odder. We found the shuttle bus after traversing about 5 broken/out of service escalators and asking about 5 people where it was. We found it hidden around the corner in the huge train terminal shopping area. I don't even know what it was. It was a train terminal and bus station. The bus station for all the city buses was there, along with a mall. And a white guy talking on the fone. He didnt' know where he was.
Driving thru Shenzhen felt like being back in the USA. Nice highways and tall buildings. It reminded me how much I like large cities. I was reminded of Toronto at first. Then it started to feel like the highways in Florida and Las Vegas because of the palm trees, I just had to ignore all the chinese writing, obviously.
We got to the airport and went to check in. We were in Terminal A, we needed to be in Terminal B, so we walked thru the tunnel. I felt like I was in Logan's Run. There is that tunnel that has car in it all incased in glass. Or something. Anywho, this tunnel didn't have a car. It was 730pm and the check in wouldn't be ready until 815pm. So we went to have dinner. It was some very good food, but pricey since it was the airport. The couple next to us made Yumi laugh because the lady was complaining to the waitress. "There are peanuts in this, I don't want peanuts. Take it back." -"There is no charge for the peanuts." -"I don't care, take it back." That was the basis of the arguement, but it kept going on for about two minutes. Yumi said, "the chinese are so arguing..." -"umm...argumentative. Yeah, but its mostly the women, not the men." Which is almost 95% true. Most of the argueing you see is done by women. Well, most of the arguing you witness is done over prices of things and chinese women are the ones who deal with the money. The men run the shop, but when it comes to cost, the talons come out. I mentioned to Yumi that she may be allergic to peanuts. i tried to explain that to her.
Then we checked in and sat at the gate people/kid watching. I was excited because of all the white people. I think there was a pack of 6 russians sitting behind us. Time came to board and we stood in line for a few minutes before they opened the door. When they did open the door, a bunch of chinese people just crowded around the door and cut in line. I wanted to beat the tar out of them and Yumi got pissed too, "They're so rude." I proceeded to stare at and make one woman who cut in front of us very uncomfortable. It ruled.
Our seat was in the very back. 38 of 41 rows. Not bad actually. They had something cool on the monitor. They had a video camera set up on the belly of the plane so you could watch the take off. It ruled. Too bad it was at nite then we could see the city. It was cloudy and the airport is far from the city lights. Then, while the plane was in the air, they were showing some commercial or a cartoon short. It was really odd. It was in South Park style, i have come to notice many commercials done this way, and it had Chairman Mao doing something wierd with animals and it was for some wreid Chinese news station or something.
Once we landed, we had a little trouble finding a shuttle bus. We just asked around, a taxi pimp, an army security guard, and a bus schedualer, and then we found it. The taxi pimp told us Gate 8, but the army dude told us gate 6, and then we got it. It was crowded and it was 1210AM before we left. We had to stand up 95% of the way into the city and it took about 40 minutes to get to our location. We were told the drop off point 3 times by the driver and the ticket taker. We just could never remember it. The Shanghai accent is tufff. The ticket girl said the price was 38RMB for a ticket and I have still have no idea what she said. And I can pick out 38 when someone says it. While standing the whole way there, I noticed a couple sitting down next to me. It was a man and his mistress, as best as I could guess. The reason I think that is because she was around 28-35, attractive, and wearing clothes a young girly-girl in China would wear. He was at least 50 years old, wearing a suit, and he was quite unattractive with two large mole-warts. One on his right eyelid and the other right on his chin between the bottom lip and bottom of the chin. They were all giggling and flirting and she had her hand on the inside of his thigh. I quivered where I stood. I felt like Bartleby and Loki from "Dogma", "He's comitting adultry, no man kisses his wife like that."
We eventually got off at the right stop but we had no idea which way to go along Yan An Donglu. No problem, so we grabbed a taxi. It was tuff to find. Turns out its in an alleyway. Great. We walked down the alley and checked in.
Immediately a problem popped up. It seemed that when I booked online, they had also booked a same room with someone else. Just for the first day. So, here I was thinking they were gonna screw us and then they said, "We are upgrading you to a 600RMB room at no extra charge." Sweet! That's like being bumped up to first class on an airplane. Man, a 600RMB room is alot bigger and nicer than a 280RMB room. I want to stay here. Unfortunately, we couldn't for more than tonite. Its got a living room and a bedroom. It has two TVs, a mini-fridge, a black leather couch, and lots of space. Luxury. I could see a family would want this.
I turned my cellfone on and had 3 text messages waiting for me from Liu Ci Wen, Coco's cousin. They were all quite funny. He seemed very excited. I replied and told him where we were. Time for bed. We are both real tired.

Posted by Phil at 01:31 PM | Permalink

Well, i woke up early to get my bedsheets washed and on the clothesline to dry out. They take the longest. I did so early so I could beat everyone to the washing machine. I was walking to the machine and I see Amy going to it first. So I was like, "I called dibs first!" I needed to get those sheets washed. She seems to wash clothes everyday. Its weird. And she just used it all yesterday morning too. So, I got on it first and it was good. Today is Saturday, but I have my Thursday schedual to teach because of the way Chinese do their holidays. so I didn't have to go in until 1020AM which was great for laundry and chatting with my parents online. They just got back home to Michigan friday nite....Michigan time. I also folded clothes and packed clothes for Shanghai. All that is complete. just the other stuff now.
So, I headed off to class at got to school. On the way to class, Lucy said, give me some time at the end of class so I can pass back these tests. Sure thing, I mean, usually when she says this, it means, "Give me 5 minutes." Boy, was this class a friggin' joke. I taught for about 20 minutes and then Lucy said ok, I will pass back the tests and go over them. "...Um...I just started teaching. What do you want me to do?"
"Oh, just go down to the teacher's office."
Whatever, i took off.
The actual class was "eh". Basically the 3rd graders were a little wild, not too bad. I was doing the same lessons as yesterday using the kids as models for the words and stuff. I got them to laugh in a focused manner and have a good time with English, its the only way to keep their attention. If I don't get them to giggle at least a bit, then they won't pay any attention. Anywho, as I was doing the skirt bit with one of the boys, flipping the skirt up into a jacket and whatever, and then the little fat kid that isn't all there in the head, pulled his pants down and waddle across the front of the class as fast as he could.
Luckily he was wearing boxers. You would think that would stun me....well, it didn't. Its China. No, just kidding. I was stunned.
Well, after that eventful class was over, I was gonna go to Bond to get paid, but a funny story has arisen out of this. Very pathetic and very chinese...of all the days...the day before everyone leaves for their trips. Apparently, yesterday, and this morning, there was no money in the Bond Bank Account for the Xiaolan Office to pay its teachers. Great! Last week, the office sent out an email telling everyone to pick up their money on Saturday the 30th because May holiday is the following week. Now, for those teachers that needed their money before 430 for their trip...they are screwed. This is gonna piss off lots of teachers. The tell us to be on time, yet they aren't. Thats so chinese. Well, I guess I should be happy, since we are getting paid. I mean, I have heard stories of other teachers in other schools in parts of china that don't get paid at all sometimes. I first found out about this this morning when I heard Robert answer the telephone then laugh his ass off. Amy went to go pick up Moses' pay because she is his slave and she called back and said the money won't be ready until 430pm. Thats so pathetic. Thanks alot Bond. You just keep shooting yourselves in the foot. Your karma will return to haunt you when my contract is over. SUCKAZ!
I went to afternoon classes. Before classes started, I was in the office and I noticed that all the teachers got a little gift. The other teachers got more than me, i don't really care. It was a jug of Corn Oil, some lame ass cookies, and some canned fish. Other teachers got pretzels and chips as well. I noticed a bag sitting at May's seat. It was a "Revenge of the Sith" shopping bag with Bolen's written down the side. SWEET! I was like, "Where did you get this?" She was like, "at Bolen's, fool." i can see that from the bag thank you very much. "Where is Bolen's?" She was all up in it and threw, "at the mall." Radical. I want one. Classes started and they were jokes just like the morning class. Basically i taught for about 25 minutes and then Ivy went over the homework assignment to be done over the holiday. I was like, "What!? You are giving them homework on a vacation time!? You are cruel!"
-Ivy responded with good cheer, "Yes!"
After the two classes. I headed home and prepared for Kindergarten.I got to kindergarten and I talked with Wing before class, which started 10 minutes late. I asked why the money wasn't going to be given out until 430pm, and technically, this may not have been Bond's fault at all. Apparently, the China Construction Bank had no money to give out. !!!!!!! So they had to get a refill or something. It wasn't lack of money in the Bond account, its the fact that the bank couldn't give out any money cause it didn't have any. I am sure this is possible, especially in China. But, in truth, I think everything that goes wrong here is Bond's fault, no matter what. For example, the Taiwan Issue (which I must mention later), the Japanese Issue, chinese people yelling at me...Its all Bonds fault.
Kindergarten was ok. Sang songs n stuff. They are getting good at, "My name is...". Before class starts with these 2-4 year olds, I usually spend about 5 minutes meeting with and waving and slapping high fives with about 30 other little 2-4 year olds from other classes that I run into during the class change overs. I love doing it. The kids are soooooo cute. Then they grow up. Anywho, they love it. They get all excited and run around in circles. One girl today, who is my class, was excited to see me outside the class that she was running up to me, slapping my knee, then running away. It was just the sight of me that made her excited, I wasn't doing anything... Man, if only I could do that to women my own age.... Anyway. She was running up to me and I continued to close the distance since I was walking to the classroom and she did a last run. She came up to me, slapped my knee, and turned around an went into a lunge to run. She went head first into a giant pillar holding the roof up. IT WAS HILARIOUS! I quickly picked her up off the ground to check for any damage. She was fine, she had this huge grin on her face and then she slapped me on the head.
I have learned from seeing all these kindergarteners that Chinese people don't teach their little children to brush their teeth since they will just fall out. Its obvious because almost all the little kids have rotted and discolored teeth. Whenever they smile at me, I cringe inside. There is this one boy that I give high fives too during the class switch-up that has a face only a mother could love. All his teeth are so rotted and black that they are like little sharp black daggers. It reminds me of Christopher Walken as the Hessian Horseman in "Sleepy Hollow". Those gruesome knife like teeth.
After the class, I headed home and did some more preparing for Shanghai. Yumi came over and had Amy translate a few things that I had written down into Chinese...for safe measure. Yumi and I are gonna bust that place up like a highschool kegger. For some reason I was in a bad mood this evening. And I was very tired. Yumi and I headed out to get some money out of the bank for the trip, then to the bus station to get a ticket to Shenzhen at 4pm tomorrow. We then grabbed dinner. Good food. I never liked Eggplant until I came to China. Go figure.
Something that is interesting: Hair Salon's are much more high-tech and meticulous than dentist offices. As I walked passed a dentist's office on the way home, I saw a dentist or assistant putting together the mold used for making molds of teeth. A few feet away I saw a repair man using the same type of tools to fix the wall.
I was in a real bad mood. I just wanted to yell at and start a fight with the people who were staring at me, especially when Yumi and I walked down the street. I don't know why it still bothers me.

Posted by Phil at 01:08 PM | Permalink

When there is no more room in Hell, the Dead will walk the Earth.

Classes today were interesting. I will give you the skinnies, the facts, the low down, the down low....no doubt. I had three classes this morning. I had Coco's 4th Grade class and it went really well. Kids were well behaved and everything. Then I had Lucy's 3rd Grade and she was absent from class due to her sitting in on Ivy's open lesson. The kids were terrible. They were just not paying attention. I did the whole lesson, but I think maybe 30% of the class was following along and actually participating. My throat was sore by the end of the class. I then had another one of Coco's 4th grade classes after that. This went surprisingly well. Coco was going to be absent from class due to the Open Class by Ivy and she accompanied me to the beginning of class to warn the kids. The kid that I literally dragged to the Headmaster's Office last week was in this class and she wanted to warn him to be on his best behavior. I told her to tell him, "If you get out of your seat once, Phil will take you to the headmaster." I added, "Don't make me destroy you." It worked. The kid payed attention throughout class and was very well behaved. Awesome. Those 3rd graders were the worst of today. Punks.
During lunch period i took care of some things like laundry. I needed to do laundry!
During the afternoon classes, I just had two more 3rd grade classes and these went pretty well. The teacher, Mavis, who was out for a couple months because she gave birth is back and the first 3rd grade class is hers, so she accompanied me this time instead of Anna. I thought that meant Mavis would attend the second 3rd grade class. So, I asked Anna if she will miss me. It took me about 6 minutes to explain what I was asking her. She finally understood and laughed a little. Nothing kills a joke quicker than Chinese people. She then told me that its just the first class that Mavis will go to. Anna has the other one. Oh, ok. So you won't miss me.
As I said, these two classes went well. Mavis had never seen me teach, and the students in her class today were the best I have had in weeks. I was very surprised. They did everything I told them and got them today. In the 3rd grades I have been going over Jacket, Pants, Socks, and Skirt along with In, Out, Under, Between. So I have been doing little presentations with the kids. I have the kids stand on the table and I point to the article of clothing. Most of the time, none of the kids are wearing skirts, so I take a boy and grab a jacket and tie it around to make a skirt. The kids go nuts over this and they laugh so hard. It really gets them involved and interested. The second class I had with Anna, went pretty good as well. I got a boy up there with a skirt and then gave him one of those chinese fans. It was so hilarious.
Afterwards I headed out to the house to take care of some laundry before kindergarten. Its been really sunny and warm all day. Very gorgeous. I then got to Kindergarten and it was pretty nice. The 12 kids were loud as usual. I got them saying, "Where are you from? - I'm from China." "Where do you live? - I live in Xiaolan". Its kool. Then I also went over the seasons again. To help them remember i made hand motions for each season and played a contest. Its working.
After that I headed home. I canceled my chinese lesson cause it was a beautiful day and I really didn't feel like going to the lesson. So I stayed at home doing some things. I then went to practice.
Practice tonite was awesome! There was a larger group of people there practicing. Before practicing form work after my warmups, I fooled around with one kid trying to do handstands. So we were using the Pedestal ground pads to do running flips and handsprings. it ruled!
Then i worked on some Hong Quan with Old Sifu. After that, the kid I was doing flips and hand springs with grabbed a couple staffs and Old Sifu started showing us one of the staff forms he knows. It was great. I worked hard and learned alot. This is what I want everyday at practice, but I rarely ever get it. It took me about 10 minutes to get the name of the form out of them and it required about 5 people too. Basically the chinese name is "lop deem boon goon"/"liu dian ban gwen" which exactly translates to "6 Hour Half Staff. 6:30 Staff. ..................... Let me get this correct. The name for the form is 6:30 Staff?? what the hell is that? 6:30 staff? 6 hour 1/2 staff? Maybe Hexagonal Staff?
"No, 6:30 Staff"
.......whatever.
I totally rocked the form. Sifu kept shouting at me from across the studio to look forward at the target. I was all like, "I obviously can't do that if I have to watch to see what Old Sifu is doing next. Duh!"
I rode home very happy and very satisfied. Got to practice tomorrow.

Posted by Phil at 11:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This morning started out interesting. First, I woke up to a fone call from Coco saying my morning class was canceled due to exams. That meant I had no classes at all in the morning since today is my easy day. But then, it poured rain for about 10 minutes. Then it turned to a sprinkle, then after awhile, around 1030, the sun popped out and its bright and sunny now. Very nice. Also, my computer finished downloading the Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith Soundtrack. It sounds pretty good. I read a couple articles online yesterday that said that Kevin Smith had seen the movie and that it was "...as good as Empire." Which is definitely a positive review and could be the only saving grace for the prequels at all. However, I have a couple reservations on that because Jason Mewes is the one that was mentioning this news and Kevin Smith is in league with Lucasfilm now about making a Star Wars TV Series. I wonder if he had to say it was good. Who knows. I guess I will have to wait for it to come out. Depending on how things go, I may go to Hong Kong for a weekend and while I am there, go see the movie. That would rock. I don't know if it will be in Theatre in China. Maybe it might. Lord of the Rings was.
I went to 1+1 for lunch and ran into Robert. We chatted about things. It was enjoyable. More complaing of the teaching issues. He said that before he got here, he thought he wanted to stay for about 2 years to see the children progress. After a couple weeks, he was all like, "Aaaah, HELL NO!" He said he tried to do a project where kids would research other countries and give a small presentation. Stuff like Population, History, etc. Afterwards, his teacher said that the kids don't know what this stuff is. "Duh, that's the whole point of the project!" The whole system is against us here in China. If you haven't been able to figure that out already.
Time for afternoon classes with good 5th graders. The first class went well. The chinese love to play Paper Rock Scissors so I tried to incorporate that into an English game. I don't think I heard anyone speaking english. ugh.
Anywho, during this first class there was a rainstorm. Lets see...It poured this morning. Then it cleared up late morning and was absolutely gorgeous. I am sure there was a rainbow behind all the pollution in the sky. I rode my bike to school and it was still gorgeous. When class started, it was nice. Then about 2 minutes later, the sky got darker and continuously got darker until it was realy dark. The wind had picked up big time and was blowing the doors shut. I could hear all the doors in the school slamming one right after another. So the kids shut the windows and its a good thing too, because right after they shut the windows, it started storming hard. I haven't seen it rain this hard in China yet. It was like God was drinking barrels and barrels of the finest Heavenly Brewed beer and then running to the metaphorical toilet that is the Earth and letting it flow. Thats how hard it was. Kids who were outside for the span of a few seconds were completely drenched. The windows were shaking from the wind and it started lighting and thundering. As class ended, I headed to the office. All the way to the office I heard kids shrieking from the Lightning and thunder. When I got to the office I asked May and Anna, "Do you get tornadoes at all in this area of Guangdong?" They didn't understand "Tornadoes", they kept thought I was saying "tomatoes". So i went online and showed them pictures of tornadoes. They said, oh, "Typhoon", I was all like, "Sucka, don't you know a water storm from a land storm. Fool. Typhoons happen over the water and disipate dramatically once they hit land. Tornadoes form on the land." They then realized their folly and understood what I was talking about. "No, we do not get those in this area of Guangdong. Very rare. But in Xiamen, they get alot do." I think something like that. Very interesting.
The second period I had was special. Ivy had to prepare for an open class tomorrow morning where other teachers from other schools will come to watch. So she took about 15 kids... all the good kids. I was left with the ones who don't like doing anything. Great. Ivy said I could punish them in anyway if I needed too. She left and I thought we could have a fun class. Guess what. These kids started fooling around, not paying attention, and running around the room, throwing stuff and other things. So, i tried to get their attention by playing some games. One of the games I tried playing was "Telephone". It took me about 5 minutes just to get them to make a circle in the room. They knew how to pass the words down right away. And of course, no one was getting simple words that they just learned at all. And some tried to be comedians by shouting out the words or not being quite. After i told them to be quiet many times, those that broke the quiet rule and shouted the word out had to sit on the floor in front of me on their knees. As in Japanese "Seiza". I had a total of 4 kids doing it. 3 boys and 1 girl. When that game fell apart, I tried other things. I was doing all I could to make it a fun class, but these kids wanted to just rather spit in my face and tell me to screw off, so I was like, thats it. I went down to the office to see if the headmaster would accompany me back to the class, but instead I was given the head homeroom teacher of that class. Good enough. I brought him back and the kids were all over the place. As he walked in they scrambled for their seats as he was yelling at them. They were like cockroaches when the lights go on. I tried to make it a fun class but you would rather disrespect me so now I am bringing down the hammer. You brought this on yourself. Suckaz.
By the end of this class, the sun had come back out and it was shinning. I am sure there was a rainbow, except for the pollution covering it up. I headed home and got my stuff together for Kindergarten.
Kindergarten was good. Just went over the emotions I have been teaching them. I also introduced some new things like, "Push, Pull". Next week, I will do more with those and quickly review the emotions. I am still spending about the 1st half of the class doing greetings. Most of them got "My name is...." Down. Prolly about 80%. I will try to increase it next week then move on and just review that stuff every lesson.
Afterwards, I scored some Tomato and Eggs at Wooden Chair. After that I ran to my place and grabbed my computer and chinese stuff to take to chinese lessons and show the software to Lisa. she was excited and wanted to copy the CDs. Good luck. She felt they were good. I am still working on the first one. Its wierd. To go from disc 1 to disc 2, it feels like there should be a Disc 1.5 because on the 2nd Disc, there is lots of pinyin and complex explanations in Chinese. I'm clueless on it. As for the chinese lessons. I don't think they are very good. I am not learning much, especially for the amount of time I am putting in. I can't remember anything and the stuff goes in one ear and out the other. Irritating me. Nothing I learn in that class have I really needed to use or been able to use with Megan or Amy. Ugh.
After lessons were over, I am also continuously tired by these lessons. Very boring. I had about 40 minutes to relax before I ran to the KFC at 8pm to watch a performance. That girl from Lion Dance that was chatting with me on Tuesday has a dance recital and asked me to come. So I went. I was there for prolly 40 minutes waiting to see thier show, but they didn't go on. About 820pm, a breakdancing group took the stage. They started out and I just laughed my ass off. I said it once and I will say it again. The only thing funnier and more pathetic than a white man trying to act like a hip black man (which make me laugh as well) is an asian man trying to act like a black man. Don't get me wrong, breakdancing can be done by anyone, and the head of the troop that came on halfway thru had some talent. Most of the kids were just ok, I mean, I have only had 4 lessons, and my body rock and 6-step are much cleaner than theirs, but they got some of the hand stands down that I just can't get. But man, were they sloppy and when they weren't breakin' they were trying to act all street/ghetto, and there is nothing you can do but laugh. I do have to say, the head of the group, who was acting the worse, was the best in abilities at breakin'. But he still looked like a total tool. Ha ha. I luckily was able to get my video camera out right before he came on stage. I left after the break dancing bit because I had to meet everyone at 830pm for saying Goodbye to Lynn and Toby. Of course, I was the first one there, then Nick and Megan, then the rest of the Big House showed up. That was around 845pm. No one else showed until after 9pm. Thats what I get for being punctual.
We got some beers and some eats and we had ourselves a good ol time. There were lots of people there. Most of the foregin teachers in Xiaolan and Guzhen were there. I got to meet a bunch of the new teachers in Guzhen. Shevon from Ireland, Glen from Britain, Debbie from Wales, and Betty from New Zealand. They all seemed pretty fun. I chatted a bit with Debbie and she mentioned, "I just can't believe given all the facts, the majority of the American people could have still voted for Bush. Why would they do that." Great....we finally get rid of Toby and his Anti-American rhetoric, and now we get another one. I actually lost a bit of respect for her when she mentioned that.
Around 945pm, Yumi called me after her class was over and I told her to come over and she did. So that was nice. There were prolly 25-30 people around the table, because a bunch of the chinese staff were there too since it was Lynn's goodbye gathering as well.
As for Toby leaving, really, if he stayed it wouldn't have bothered me, becuase I haven't gone out with him in the past couple months since John left. So, he hasn't bothered me. And he didn't get drunk enough for me to record him saying stuff about America and I just didn't want to push it either. he was very well behaved tonite.
As for Lynn leaving. Its odd. Last semester I would have been happy to get rid of her, but now, with me avoiding Bond and only really dealing with her outside of the office, things were much better. Its like losing your Arch-Nemesis. The both of you are out to get each other while you are around. And you spend your whole life/time seeking the destruction of each other, when one of them leaves, you have all this time on your hands and you eventually miss them. I think thats how its gonna be with Lynn. The night was really good. I had lots of fun. I hadn't gone out drinkin like that in a while. It was good. The pain in my knee disappeared. I think it was from the acohol. It does a body good.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 01:34 PM | Permalink

I sent an email to Gary, my Shorinji Kempo Sensei, asking about information on the International Taikai this October. When I woke up he had responded. And there was a lot of information. After my first 5th grade class, I looked it over and replied. It looks as though its going to be an expensive trip in Japan. Its very expensive to do anything in that country apparently. I am gonna have to figure out my game plan for what I will do there and where to go. It looks as though we would be flying in on October 6th and the first 1.5 weeks would be spent doing Shorinji Kempo stuff and a bit of sightseeing with the group. After that, I will pretty much be on my own. I will use that time to travel around, visiting other Shorinji Kempo Dojos and Jeff and Mitch. I will make my way into Saitama, by Tokyo and Yokohama and meet up with Rumi since she lives over that way. Then I plan to fly out back to the USA about November 2nd. Be home in time for my brother's birthday.
After my two uneventful 5th Grade classes I spent time doing things of no real consequence. After the lunch period, I had those two 6th Grade classes that I despise. They were fine today. No problems. I then had kindergarten with a new assitant, Wing. She is the girl I mentioned before, Toby's Stalker. She is kinda young, from Harbin, and her english is good, but hard to understand a bit, the reason for that is she doesn't speak loud enuff. So, I couldn't understant anything she said while I was dealing with the 12 class of 6-7 year olds. I was trying to teach them Seasons, its hard to do when you don't have much material. I don't know how to make a game out of it either.
Chinese lessons were canceled because Lisa was taking Daisy and her grandmother to the train station to see them off. They are heading out to Shanghai/Suzhou today. Yesterday, Lisa gave me their contact info in Shanghai/Suzhou. That would be cool if we could meet up with them out there.
I went to Gong Fu practice today and I just practiced on my own as the others just played the instruments. They are practicing for something. This is the most activity i have seen of them since the Chinese New Year's celebration. I was working hard and I was watching out for my knee as well. Sifu just did some corrections of my forms. He didn't show me anything new yet. I mentioned that there was a little 7-8 year old girl that started coming and has for the past couple weeks. I was watching Sifu teach her stuff. Little kids doing gong fu rules! They got great energy and they rock out. The best kids I have seen practicing were at the Shaolin School in Las Vegas. There were about 20-30 kids out on that mat just busting out. So cool.
After practice I headed home. Chatted with my bro a bit. He picked up the DVDs yesterday. Everything was there. Awesome. Hopefully they are shipped out soon. Got a response from Gary. i am tired. Hard work out. Sleep well suckaz.
Its been raining for the past couple daze, on and off.

Posted by Phil at 01:12 PM | Permalink

I don't know what it is, but all day long I have been really tired. I dont know why.
Today I had class with those two insane 4th graders. Apparently, I should have taken that kid down to the Headmaster's Office a long time ago. He spent most of the class in his seat and didn't really bother anyone. He was talking to the girl behind him, but nothing really worse. The fat psycho kid was not a problem either. I was very surprised. The past 2 weeks they have been really in control.
My knee is still hurting, so I didnt go to the gym.
Afternoon 6th grade classes went as they usually do on Tuesdays. Not bad, not good. After those were over, I ran over to 1 + 1 to grab some healthy food and Listerine. Hopefully, this added meal of good food will help wake me up.
I had kindergarten with the 2-4 year olds today. This is Lynn's last day. I am sad to see her go at this point because I have had no troubles with her in the past 1.5 months or so and when she doesn't make me hate her, she is a really nice person. If she had left during last semester, I would have cheered, though.
The class was good. I felt much better dealing with these little tykes that seem to love. They try to give me hugs n stuff. How could you not be in a good mood after that. One kid loves me so much that he ran up to me in the middle of class and punched me in the balls. They got nothing but love.
I then went to teach Daisy after that. She didn't want to learn. Since I was tired after her lesson, I was able to cancel my chinese lesson. I needed to save some strength to go to practice tonite. I needed to go at least and I was very careful. No full extension.
On the way to practice I yelled at a person running a red light because he almost hit me. I screamed at him to "SEE", while pointing to the walk sign. He was mumbling something to me.
Its strange, when and if I feel pain, its from walking, and very randomly while I am riding the bike. When I do horse stance and a few other things, dont get me wrong, I was being really careful and not pushing it, it doesn't hurt. I can't find the exact place of the pain either, its weird. This better heal up before Shanghai. Since barely anyone was at practice I started chatting with this girl. She's the one that works at McDonald's. She has two english names, Frankie and Summer. Her english sounds really good, she just doesn't have much vocabulary. So we were trying to make due. She said her boyfriend is 22. She is 16. So I was like, "You are one of "those" girls." She asked if I had a girlfriend and I was like yes. She was like, "How old?" while she was twirling her hair. "23". Then she asked if she was Chinese and I said, "Japanese" And she got all excited and jumping around. "I want to make friends with her!" Why are you so excited? "Because, I love Japan. The people are so nice and its such a beautiful country." I was like, all chinese people hate Japan, all these protests and the current situation prove that the Chinese Gov wants you to hate the Japanese, why do you love it so? After a while of her trying to express herself it came up that it was because all that happened was in the past. I have chatted with many people and it seems that those under 20 have no ill will towards Japan. Its all those over 20. But then, that is also the age where it seems people are more aware of the past and what it effects in the future...or so I think. I was able to practice, I just went thru the forms and stuff and did the stances. Sifu wasn't there so no one to teach me new stuff.
On my ride home, I went by the hairshop below us. A bunch of them were outside just doing nothing, like most chinese people do, and I couldn't help but laugh. The hairstyles were just totally straight out of the 70s and 80s. Its impossible not to laugh! I just can't explain it. you have to see it.
The weather sucked today. Overcast and sometimes rainy.
Goodnite all.

Posted by Phil at 05:03 PM | Permalink

Got up and headed to the gym for some long needed exercise and wouldn't you know it, i torqued something in my knee while stretching. I was at the gym for about 20 minutes. I am irritated. Its not bad, I didn't feel it until i started some jogging, so I quickly stopped and i came home and i am resting it up and taking care of it. If its not one thing its another. So frustrating.
I have also been looking at this china news website www.china.org.cn and comparing it with www.japantoday.com. Apparently 1000 Asian Americans protested Japan in LA today. That wasn't on the US news webs. Its just really interesting to read these two opposing view points over this issue. Its mindblowing. These governments are both acting like spoiled children. Its wierd, I find myself taking the Japanese side a bit but also see where China is coming from. Its odd how over the span of 60 years, your worst enemy has become your best friend and your best friend has become your worst enemy n stuff. Its freaky.
I spent alot of time working on studying Chinese today. Fried my brain a couple times. About 2pm, Megan started helping me with some stuff and Ben showed up so he joined us. We all worked together on some things and fried our brains for the first time. Afterwards I practiced guitar a bit then headed out for dinner.
I was planning on going to practice tonite but at 745pm it started storming and went on until about 9pm. It was thunderstorming and lightning. I haven't seen that here yet. I have seen it rain, but not thunderstorms. It was kool. Since I couldn't go to practice in the rain, Megan helped me again with some more chinese and this fried my brain for the second time. I had Amy call Guo Sifu to ask him some stuff. I had her mention to him that I really have only 3 full months of practice with him left, May, June, and July, and I would like to use that time to learn more of things like Long Quan, Chan Quan, and Lion Dancing. He said sure. Lets see how that goes. I have to think of something real nice to give him as a thank you gift. I am open to ideas, since I am horrible with thinking of ideas. I would like to have something shipped from the USA, but I may pick something up nice in HK or Shanghai that expresses my thanks and give it to him. I wonder if I could get him to teach me how to break the spear with your throat. That would rule. Ha ha ha. The reason I have full 3 months left is that I am gonna try and pull a month stay of August at the Shaolin Temple in Henan. That would totally rock hard. Learn drunken style and a bunch of other stuff. Giggle. tee hee.
Speaking of which, when I first got here in Xiaolan I bought this DVD called "Drunken Monkey" and the last DVD Player it would freeze up. But when Peter left, he took it with him, then we bought another DVD Player. So I thought maybe this one would work. And I popped it in and went to the chapters where it started freezing and what do you know, it worked! Ok, I got one thing to ask everyone...if anyone reads this or knows or whatever... Whenever I watch movies about Drunken Gong Fu, whenever the characters drink wine, they always pour out an entire jar of chinese wine onto their face/bodies and maybe only get a couple mouthfuls. Why do they do this!?!?!?! That is such a waste of chinese wine! (even if its just really water) I just don't understand why they just don't chug a bottle or something, its much more economical. They either smash the jar or something. Aiya. If anyone can answer me this...don't hesitate to email me.
Well, today has been filled with lots of stuff, oddly enuff. I am tired. Goodnite all.

Posted by Phil at 01:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today, what did I do, oh yeah. I had lunch with Yumi at this really great Yunnan Province Styled resturant. Its from the place I visited during New Years break. The food was really really really good. If my folks and brother ever come to this country, they will love the food. Thats for sure. So many good places here. However, I think my mom wouldn't be able to deal with all the spicy stuff. Oh, and the MSG will cause problems maybe. I just need to remember how to say, "Don't use MSG."
After lunch, I came back here and spent alot of time on Chinese practice. Peter showed up with Nick. Nick just got back from meeting his dad in Hong Kong. He brought back a bunch of junk. Included were some footballs that Peter and Nick were showing people at English Corner. We started chatting. The topic of Koizumi's apology came up and I said that its a good thing just in general. Then Peter said, "Not when the chinese government censors it." Um...what? Apparently, the chinese have censored the entire apology. I just looked on the China news website...no mention of the apology at all. Mother... How can they censor it. It was at an international forum......AAARGGH!
This led us onto the topic that, "Does the truth really matter?" Apparently, Peter was chatting with a Foreign English Teacher online today or yesterday and he said that one of his classes he talked to his students about the Japanese Textbooks and how they gloss over the truth of wartime atrocities and he asked his students, "Does the Truth really matter?" And all the students said, "Hands down! It matters." So, the teacher showed them footage of the Tiannamen Square Massacre. The kids just sat there. "So...does the truth matter when you know nothing about it?"
People my age in China have no recollection of this event. Amy has heard of it, but thats it. Freaky. Nick mentioned that when he was teaching in Inner Mongolia, he tried doing a project, Design Your Own Country. Most of you computer geeks out there are aware of this website. You can choose your country's name, type of government, population, size, and many other things as well. I created one a while ago. I think it was a Totalitarian regime or something. It was quite humorous. But anywho, his students loved this project. Most of them really got into it. Then his supervisor told him, "You can't do that type of lesson here." Why not? The kids love it. Apparently, since it was a private school he was at, no problems arose, but the people said that if he had down that at a Public/Government Run School, the poop would have hit the fan. Craziness.
Oh, I just check the China website again, a new article has been posted. "A Look Back: The Anti-Japanese War 1937-1945". Great! I thought they were supposed to be trying to make positive turns to the stressing of Japan-China ties, not sabotaging them. I guess the government will continue to do this kinda shit until Japan doesn't get a seat on the UN council.
Something that has been busting my balls have been the fact that for some reason some people in this house leave lights on all over the place and leave the TV and DVD player on when not in use. I just shut the two applicances off. And I think they have been on for the past couple hours with no one using them. And the house people wonder why our electricity bill is so damn high.
Oh, good news, the DVDs are at the Lincoln Park Post Office right now. My bro has to go pick them up.
The rest of today I spent just studying and hanging out. Good nite all. Sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 11:16 PM | Permalink

I woke up to somewhat good news today after another bizarre dream. The good news is that it turns out that Prime Minister of Japan, Koizumi, apologized to China and all Asian countries at an international forum. Thats great. And I guess that Koizumi is meeting with Hu tonite or something like that to discuss more things. The article said that the government was going to take the steps to disuade people from any boycott of Japanese goods and to not organize anymore protests for this weekend, but that there may be a couple, very small though. How quickly public opinion sways in this country... This is good news for our Shanghai trip. Hopefully things continue on a positive turn. But more may be in store for us.
As for my dream. It was really interesting. It has to deal with the Simpsons:
Setting: Springfield - in back of the Nuclear Power Plant
Time period: present. I guess.
Plot: Mr. Burns, in a sneaky plot to help make his ailing plant more money, he creates a new setup to create energy by burning children's fat.
How it goes: He had small capsules created that imprison young children from Springfield against their will and create energy by burning the fat off their bodies. Like, steam rooms or something. At one point, as Martin (the brainiack) was being forced into a capsule, he ran into Moe (Moe said it was his side job). As Moe was filling up Martin's capsule with some sort of liquid, with Martin in it, Martin popped his head out and said something that Martin would say, and Moe gave a quick retort and shoved the lid on his head. Now, Bart and Milhouse had avoided capture and were sneaking around the area. Until they came to a big car that seemed to be designed to run of the energy of the fat burning. So they hopped in to check it out. In doing so, they turned on the car. It turns out this wasn't a scheme to supply power to the city, but to supply power to Mr. Burns' personal rollercoaster. Bart and Milhouse were in for a ride. The car itself was in the shape of Krusty or something with his tongue as the ignition/foot pedal. After the ride was over, Bart and Milhouse decided they needed to stop this. So, from the attached warehouse, they jumped onto the top of a trailer connected to a Semi. And guess what, I was there with them at this point. We drove down the parking lot to where the real brains of the operation was. They were stocking the trailers up with some sort of boxes directly related to the energy burns. The three of us jump off the trailer and said, "The jig is up!" And it turns out that this thing was being run by the Smurfs, and Papa Smurf was the one in charge...obviously. So, we got into a battle royale with the Smurf contingent. They were about half my size and the same size as Bart and Milhouse. I singled out Papa Smurf and wailed out big time on him. I laid into him, threw him against the trailer, and pounded him into oblivion. All the while I was laughing as I was destroying him...
I woke myself up because I was giggling outloud. very strange dream.
I was taking a taxi ride home from an errand and I saw a construction site. It was about 1pm as i drove by. In the site, there slept a chinese worker. Just laying among all the bolts, nails, and wood. Damn. That is really odd. To me I mean. Chinese people do that all the time around here, sleeping at their place of work during the lunch period.
It was a gorgeous day today. Warm, sunny, and breezy. Slightly humid. I had class with Daisy, Violet, and Jack today. I was at the office about 10 minutes before class started and I was talking with Owen when a tall white woman walked passed us towards the office. And I found myself staring like I was chinese. "WHOLLY CRAP!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!" I haven't seen a tall white woman that I don't know in a while. Its not so much she's a foreigner, but a teacher that I haven't met yet. I was trying to see who she was. I felt bad and I was upset that I may have made her feel uncomfortable. I asked Owen who she was. "She's a foreign teacher and she's in Guzhen."
What's her name? "Her name is Xi Huan." Um.....what? She is white, whats she doing with a Chinese name. "No, Xi Huan." Spell it out for me. "S. H. E. V. O. N." OOOOOOOOH, Shevon. Not Xi Huan. You need to work on your "V"s.
Where is she from? "She is from Southern Island country."
um......ok......where is that Owen? "Southern Island."
What country? "UK" oh,...Ireland? "YES YES!"
Gotcha.
The class went well. Reviewed the emotions with them and taught them The Seasons. And of course, I go to Bond hoping to get access to some material on the Seasons and all they have is a flash card on Winter. They constantly tell me that they have any subjected material at my disposal at their office, yet, when I need something, they don't got it. Its always like that. Not just in China. The class was overall well. Jack still has trouble remember my and Owen's name. They seemed to enjoy the class. Violet didnt cry this time, which is good. And she was on time...2 minutes early. Last week she was 35 minutes late. Afterwards, I was gonna go to the gym, but I came back to the house and worked a bit on some Chinese homework and guitar stuff. Printed up a bunch of word sheets and went thru the software I have.
Yumi invited me to meet her for dinner at the Hunan Resturant for her co-workers birthday. All the teachers there were younger than me...I was surprised. The b-day boy was 24 years old. He was one of their school's English teachers. He called me handsome and corrected his girlfriend's incorrect English grammar with more incorrect grammar. It was quite humorous. His girlfriend is a Japanese teacher and from what I could tell, her Japanese was quite good. They were on my left, and two art teachers were on my right. One teachers at Xiaolan Middle and the other at Yumi's school. The two are dating. Then there was another couple. One was a math teacher and his girlfriend, i never caught it. Then there were two other male teachers. One was a math teacher and I don't know the other. Mayu and her husband showed up a little late. Almost about the time I had to go because I had to leave for Lion Dance practice.
The dinner was great. Food was fantastic. I didn't eat alot because I wasn't that hungry. The birthday boy was insinuating that I wasn't a man because I wouldn't drink much. I told them that I had gong fu and they said, "Likely excuse." I then said, "If it were Drunken Boxing that I was going to practice, then sure, I would drink up." He was just joking about it though. Yumi was drinking alot. She was into it. For some reason, the bday boy and his girlfriend thought it would be funny to take pictures of all the couples drinking their beverages in the intertwined position....where you lock your arms up and drink. Well, we did that one and then the hug around the neck and a drink. Yumi spilled her beer on my shirt. So riske. The bday boy kept wanting me to drink he kept toasting everyone and I was just taking sips. It finally came time for me to leave and I said goodbye's and left.
Lion dance practice was interesting. Sifu didn't show me anything. While practicing, I wasn't in the best of shape because of the dinner and beer. Hunan food is spicy, but its not like Sichuan spicy that just burns your mouth. Hunan food is like a timebomb. After its in you for about an hour, it explodes. Aiya! So, I did my formwork and practice some stuff. I was screwing around with a couple of the wunderkinden and practiced some Lion Dance moves and positions, much too Sifu's surprise and pleasure. He better start showing me it now. I also was pretend sparring with one of the wunderkinden. Just fooling around. I then tried to teach Victor and the best wunderkind (one I was goofing off with) some toi-shou (push hands). Victor caught on after I worked on it with him for 5 minutes. Its hard to teach this stuff when you can't speak. As for the wunderkind, his body alignment was really really hard and wouldn't soften up where Victor could a little. This aided me where I could win easily. I kept trying to show him the movements and he kept saying, "msec." I can't. I am like, yes you can! Since he wasn't into that, I showed him a bunch of Hong Gar arm conditioning exercises that he liked, even though they hurt your arms...slightly. They just make them sore for a bit.
Also, something else that was kool was this new 8-10 year old fat kid who was doing some form work, Chan Quan. He seemed pretty good. He was very fast and needed some fine tuning, but he rocked. I tried to talk to him, but he just stared at me with a blank stare. ugh. My chinese was fine too. I am gonna see if Sifu will show me Chan Quan and Long Quan in addition to Lion Dance on Monday. I need this stuff, as much as I can get!
I headed home and called Yumi. She got sick, so I went to take care of her for awhile. Then headed on home. Its like 3AM right now. Good nite all.

Posted by Phil at 02:32 PM | Permalink

Today was interesting so far. I woke up after having a real bizarre dream. From what I can remember, it starts out like this:
Setting: China
Time Period: Start of and during the Cultural Revolution
Plot: I am a naive idealist chinese-english interpreter/translator for the Chinese Government infatuated with the possibilities that theoretical communism has to offer. But its only theory and soon I am caught up on the negative side of the Cultural Revolution..(well, there was no real positive side to it)...i was being made an example of and people were out to get me.
What I remember: I was a young naive english interpretter for the government and I really liked communism and I was really into the Cultural Revolution and the change it was bringing for a better world. I was speaking with a fellow foreign interpretter about the positive aspects of what we were doing and apart of, yet, I expressed that if the Chinese government could live up to communism in theory, things would be perfect. This is where my trouble began. The fellow co-worker asks me if I really believe that, and I said yeah, and then he said, "Well, you should have no problem with me letting the Mao listen to the tape I just recorded you with." I realized at that moment what he was gonna try and do. He was gonna try and turn me into an enemy of the state by saying the chinese were doing the right thing. So, I immediately went for the tape and in doing so I accidently punched a chinese woman in the face and that escalated into an angry mob of Chinese people upset and trying to mess me up. The rest of the dream was me hiding out in safehouses and trying to avoid authorities. I then woke up when my alarm went off. Strange stuff.
Today was my super busy day. 5 De Xing classes, 1 kindergarten, then Chinese lesson, and Gong Fu. I was on my way to class when Coco called me at 830AM, 10 minutes before first class. She said that the students will have an examination today so I don't have to come for Class 1 or 2. I just have Class 3. Ok. Well, thats good. I can run some errands that I needed to take care of ASAP. I had to wait till 900AM before I could go anywhere though. I needed to go to the Bank to transfer some money for a deposit to the Hotel in Shanghai since I will be getting in super late on May 1st.
I asked Amy if she could accompany me but she said she was busy at the time I needed to go. She said that I could take it myself. Just give them the money and point to the paper faxed to me by the hotel. Its pretty obvious apparently. She said there should be no problem. When is there never a problem ? So I decided to try it. The first bank I went to, Industrial and Commercial Bank, there was a problem. I needed to have an account. She was all like, "msec". So I was all like, "well, gai wo wode (pointing to my stuff)" She had an embarrassed laugh and gave me my things." I left.
I then headed over to "Bank of China". And they would do the transfer for a 5RMB service charge. One lady that wasn't behind all the windows filled out the forms for me and stuff and then I went over to a window where she filled out more forms and sent it out. I got the receipts and headed home. I then had to run to class. My time was eaten up at the banks.
This class was ugh. First of all, I get to school and there were visiting english teachers viewing Ivy's class. So Coco had to attend this viewing and meeting. Great, I will be alone. It doesn't bother me being alone but it gives the kids the idea they can get away with not paying attention. Very frustrating. Coco did a check up about half way thru. Whenever a teacher approaches the class on days like these, the kids all shut up and I give the crap. "OH MY GOD! The teacher shows up and you all close your mouths and sit pretty!" Its as much as a scolding to the kids as it is a dropping of hints to the chinese teacher, but the teachers don't catch it. When the teacher leaves, they go back to their shenanigans. Irritating. Well, today a few were going wild. The usual ones in this class. There was about 4 kids missing from the classroom and whenever a couple kids are missing, it shows. It makes the room look empty. Anywho, this kid kept doing stupid stuff. Most of the boys were being bad and a 3 girls were brought to tears. I sent to kids to the doors and had their backs facing the class. One of these was the real bad kid of the class. I did this around the first 15 minutes. After about 10 minutes in the doors I sat them back down. Later on in the class he was screwing around again. For example, running around the back of the class like a monkey and jumping around, crawling from his desk to the door and back just because he thought he could. This was disrupting class and pissing me off so I made stand in front of the class and hold a stool with his arms stretched out. He bagan to make a game out of it. Class ended 5 minutes later. And I decided to take him down to the headmaster. I am sick of this. If kids upset me anymore, they go straight to the headmaster. I started leading him out of the room and he started screaming, "NO!!! I'M SORRY!!" over and over again. He was doing all he could to not be moved by me. I tried to Fireman carry him but he sat on the ground, so I lifted him up and he was sliding across the floor and then he grabbed the door so as not to be led out the room. This whole time mind you, all the students had gathered around laughing at him and staring. GET YOUR RUBBER NECKS OUTTA HERE!
Finally, he relented and I took him down nice and quietly. Of couse, I said something to him that made him come with me. I don't remember what it was. And when I say he came down nice and quietly, I mean, he was wimpering, crying, and saying "I know. I'm sorry." You had your chance to learn ,but you wanted to test my wrath. Don't make me destroy. Thats what I love about no one understanding you, you can say stuff and they have no idea. "Don't make me destroy you!" It ruelz.
I led him around the offices looking for the headmasters but I couldn't find any and Coco was in a meeting. A couple teachers were pointing at him. One teacher started to scold him until Coco came out. I didn't let him leave my site, I took him to Coco and she said some things to him. A bunch of his classmates had followed us down to watch and I shooed them away. I had to shoo them away a couple times. Crazy kids. Coco took him to the headmaster's office and as I was leaving, he was walking up the steps. The last kid I sent to the Headmaster was very well behaved the next time I had him in class.
I went to the Bond office to send out the fax of the Receipt to the Hotel. I got good news while I was there. Toby is leaving for good April 28th!!!! YES!!!! WHOO HOO!!! No more drunken, anti-American bashing rants spouted out by this drip who has no idea what he's talking about.
I then went shopping for a mouse for Daisy, but only came up with a Stuffed Animal Minnie Mouse. Oh well. I tried. On my way home I ran into Robert walking home the same way. I helped him carry some heavy stuff back. We chatted about our friend Damon, who is teaching him Chinese, and who is a party member. Its odd to have a friend who's a communist. But truth be told, its one of the only ways to get ahead in this country and Damon is ambitious. Since, we were on the subject, I told him of my real wierd dream. And he did nothing but giggle at it. When I told him what it was about, me being an english interpretter in China during the cultural revolution and infatuated with idealistic ideas behind theoretical communism, he laughed out loud.
Afternoon classes went ok. I had two 3rd grades. No problems. A bunch of kids had chinese fans out. Kindergarten was good to. I tried teaching them "Where do you live?" "Where are you from?". It was tough. There is this one kid in the class, one of the boys, who has an interesting thing going on with his ears. I never noticed this until I turned around from the chalkboard and I see Lynn playing with his ears again. I was like, "uhhh?" She was all excited. "LOOK AT THESE! THEY ARE SO COOL!" Basically, this kid's earlobes are like 2x the normal size. They remind me of Buddha. They are either naturrally like that or they are that long from his parents pulling on his ears whenever he is bad. They are flappy and velvety smooth. Its really interesting. Freaky cool. Now that I think about it, I have seen Lynn touching his ears before, but I thought it was because he was doing something bad and she was yanking on them. Awesome.
After kindy, I headed home to wrap up Daisy`s present. As I was leaving for class, I came out into the living room where Robert was watching "The Prince of Egypt". Moses was out in the room and I heard some conversation going on. As I walked out, I was all like, "What you two fighting about now?" Nothing. Just teasing each other. I mentioned to Moses that a few years ago they had found proof that, given enough wind power, a very shallow path in the Red Sea could be uncovered. There were also some claims of people looking for equipment and weapons n stuff. Moses was like, "I heard that." Then he asked me, all upset like, "Have you ever heard of anyone attacking the Koran or other religious scriptures. They only seem to attack the Bible." "Well, if American scientists attack the Koran or anything else they are labeled racists. As far as the muslim world goes, its the back bone of their entire culture. So, no one attacks it." Why does he always ask me these stupid questions. I ain't all knowing. He's supposed to be the wise one. After that, I rode over to Daisy's place and Yumi said she would meet up with us at the resturant. We were heading to the Household Chinese Resturant. That huge place that I went to when I first got to China. Food was sooooo good. Dinner was really good. However, Daisy and her cousin kept running around and shrieking. The parents hardly doing anything. WHat a shame.
FOOD COMA!

Posted by Phil at 01:12 PM | Permalink

Today was my easy day again. I got everyone in the house to fill out that stupid information sheet. 3rd Grade this morning was pretty good. I threw one kid out for giving me the finger and I had another kid stand in front of the class because he gave me the pinky finger...which is the chinese equivalent. And yes, most these kids know that they are both the same. During lunch I went to the gym as I should. I got all stretched out and ready to run for 1 hour when the place experienced one of those Random Chinese power losses. The school gets them all the time. This place always loses power...I mean Xiaolan always experiences these random power outs. Sometimes whole blocks will lose power. Lack of proper organizing and inefficiency.
So I headed home.
After, the 5th grades went ok. These are some of the best classes. They participate well. Ivy has them trained well. I kicked another kid out for the finger from the first class. During the break between classes I was chatting with the art teacher as we were walking down the stairs and I witnessed one of the teachers cane a 4th grader. I so wanted to do the Arnold Schwarzeneggar on him....from Kindergarten Cop. But the kid didn't seem effected by it at all. The whole class laughed at it...I am thinking it may have been a play wack. Not intended to punish him. I don't know. I just briefly caught it. Strange.
After that I came home to prepare for Kindergarten. I had the 2-4 year olds today. I taught them Happy, Excited, Sad, Angry, Love, Tired again. Its great cause I can get them to act them out and sing a song with them. They like it. Most of them have, "My name is...." down. I still got a couple stragglers. Some of them are so damn cute though.
I then went to teach Daisy for an hour. That went ok. I couldn't stay for Chinese lessons because I promised Coco I would come over for dinner. Her nephew and Mother were in town for the week and her Mom apparently makes good bau-tze. Coco had written directions for me to give to a motorbike guy. She called me about 10 minutes before I left Daisy's house to ask me when I was coming over. This proved to be very difficult because I tried to explain it to her at two different times today. She said, "What time will you come over?" I said, "Between 630pm and 700pm." She took this to mean that I will only be able to stay at her house for 30 minutes. I spent at least 5 minutes each time trying to explain it to her and it was the same over the fone, but she just couldn't understand. Very frustrating. I even drew a diagram. She told me to wait by the gas station.
So i pull up at about 645pm underneath her apartment complex. There is a car dealership that carries Mitsubishi, Honda, and BMW. I was looking for a Z4, but didn't find any. Phooey. I want to sit in one. I called Coco. No answer. 20 minutes and 10 fone calls and 1 text message later, she picks up the fone. "Where are you?"
I am outside.
"Why?"
Because you haven't let me in. I have been standing out her for 20 minutes trying to call you.
"Hold on................................................................................................................What?"
AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!! I am out by the gas station waiting for you!
"Ok."
I had to wait forever for her to come down. So, I called her again and she was waiting at the gate. UGH! I am across the street from the gas station. I saw her walk out from the corner down the block, then I watched her walk across the street to the gas station and I was like FRIGGIN' A! I yelled her name out and she saw me. Kevin was with her and he ran towards me and jumped on me. Wow. He was excited to see me. He wouldn't let go of my hand. Adorable. He is 4. He is super light so I put him in the fireman's carry and tickled him to death as we were walking down the street.
Getting to her apartment from the street took about 10 minutes. Had to walk up a ramp, thru some cars, then down a hall, then up stairs.
I met her mom, her brother, and her dog, "Morry". Michelle was still at school. She wouldn't be back until 930pm when Coco would go pick her up. Chinese people go to school too much. So we ate dinner together. They were feeding Morry from the table. Giving him table scraps and stuff. It was just funny. Kevin was hyper at the dinner table. He is a single child too. He likes to yell as well. Dinner was quite good. I had a snack at Daisy's place before coming over, but I had some of her mom's bau-tze. It was alright. The breading was much more dense and the meat inside had bone. I was like, ouch. The dinner was good. Coco's mom asked me, "Why are you so big, yet you eat so little?" I was all like, "the real question is why are you so small, yet you eat so damn much. Answer me that! I have never seen anyone eat more food than Chinese people." They all lauged. Damn asian-gene. After wards I ate fruit while I watched a video on Crazy Li Yang. He is this chinese guy who is famous for creating Crazy English. A method of teaching English to Chinese People that make them speak. The way he does it is to make students shout..amongst other things. He does lectures and everyone in the audience participates. You know, I do this exact same thing, there is nothing new to this method, its just htat my studnets don't partcipate or try. They are too young to care. Oh well.
We were having fruit and I was treated to a tropical fruit. We call in Stinky Fruit in English because it smells like Ass. Most peoepl I have talked to dont like it. However, this was my first time. Its about the size of a round watermelon. Its got spikes all over it. You take a butcher's knife and hack it down the center. You crack it open and there is the seed encased in a the fruit part that you eat. its got this funky texture. Its like a firm stringy pudding. You can't eat it with hands or with a spoon. Very interesting. I like it. However, your breath stinks afterwards. But the strange thing is, the actual part you eat doesnt stink. Its odd.
After that, Kevin was given a bath by the brother and I played with Morry for awhile, then after Kevin it was Morry's turn so I played with Kevin. Then, Coco took me home around 930 when she went to go get her daughter. I went out to search for a present for Daisy's bday dinner tomorrow. She has kept buggin me for Minnie Mouse that Yumi gave me the idea of buying a pet mouse and naming it Minnie and giving it to her. However, the pet store that I know of doesn't sell mice. I searched for a VCD, but couldn't find any that wasn't a mix of Disney and a few other cartoons. I got that VCD set and then I also plan to get her a Minnie Mouse doll.
After I headed home I got a haircut. They cut it real short. Megan just looked at it and said my face looks very long. "Thanks for calling me a horse. Way to make me feel bad. Do you want to take this outside. You wanna go?"
Time for bed. Later.

Posted by Phil at 05:07 PM | Permalink

The first half of the day was pretty crappy. Didn't feel good at all. Then half way thru the chinese lesson, the day was really good.
Morning 5th grade classes went well. No problems. However, I kicked a kid out for giving me double barrels. He was sitting right in front of me and I told the class to stand up and as the rest of them stood up, he just leaned back and thrusted them into the air. So, I threw him out of the room.
Then it was the lunch period. I came home because I wanted to call the hotel in Shanghai to make sure everything is cool and to ask about any issues with coming in on the red-eye. Amy called them for me and they said if I come in later than 6pm, they need a deposit to make sure I am coming in. So they told Amy they would send me a fax explaining how to make the deposit. So I continued the rest of the lunch period searching for things online and in Nick's Lonely Planet Guidebook about places to go see and do in Shanghai and Hangzhou. We may even decide to go to Suzhou on one day. Hangzhou and Suzhou are within 2 hours bus ride or something.
After lunch I went back to class and my two sixth grade classes were terrible. I wanted to set off a tactical nuclear bomb in the classroom only taking out those that are bad and leaving the few remaining good kids completely safe, well except for some radiation exposure and some cellular damage. Well, anything that helps them be less Chinese is a good thing. ;-)
After class I had Kindergarten with the older kids. I introduced The Seasons and an English Domino game. A few kids kept losing interest in the game so as punishment I ate their brains. It was quite tasty. One of the little girls, one of the newer girls (this semester), while playing Duck Duck Goose, she got on the floor and started humping the floor like in the Vanilla Ice "Ice Ice Baby" music video. It was pretty funny. Lynn gave me some papers to give to the teachers at the Big House. The local government wanted information from us. The thing is, Bond already has all this info on us, and it seems like I have given the same info to the government about 20x already. The one difference on this was "Religious Affiliation". Hmmm....I sense a ruse. Now that they know this, they want to make sure we don't force our religious beliefs on the students. If anyone of us here would do that, the first would be Moses, I bet. Nothing against him or anything. Every once in a while he just asks me these religious questions out of the blue. Yesterday, he printed something out and showed it to me and asked me to take a look. It was an arguement/conspiracy theory about scientists negating the world flood from the Noah's Ark story. "Why do scientists totally disagree and negate the possibility that there could have been a global flood on Earth when they totally believe that, in fact, they have found evidence that shows this happened on Mars. If it happened on Mars, why not here. A global flood is possible and it proves that the Bible is correct." If scientists disagree with that possibility, I have no clue. Never heard anything about it until now. I think most scientists believe its possible and that it did happen during the last ice age. I mean, when the icecaps met, the water disapates all over the world, drowning lots of things, and since the water is so cold or whatever, it cools eveyrthing down and thats how the ice age starts. Global warming is followed by global cooling. But whatever.
He has also given me things on Evolution vs Creationism. During a viewing of The Passion of the Christ he asked me how I thought it was and I said I felt that it followed the Gospels fairly accurately except for the artistic license taken and the presentation that Pontious Pilate. The movie presented him as a panzy which is totally inaccurate with historical facts. He was all like, "Well, which do you believe, The Bible or historical fact.".... I paused shortly taking that question in for a moment. Lets see...I'm a scientists by training... But anywho. That and another Christian Blues album he's putting together.
Sorry about the rant.
After that Kindergarten class was over, I went to Chinese lessons. Its started out slow and I was bored. This stuff is hard to make interesting. Half way thru it started getting fun because Daisy brought down her language toy that talks to you and stuff and it does help with simple nouns and verbs. Very simple stuff. So, I played with that for awhile. I have some software for my computer to do practice with, however, for some stupid reason, on my macs, the audio files get clipped so you can't get the whole word and therefore you can't practice properly. Always something. I emailed the company and no response. Punkasses. Their website claims they design their software on macs...LOL! Eat me. If they designed it for Macs, it would work properly.
After I left I had Gong Fu practice. Practice went well, I was the only one sweating as usual. About a couple weeks ago, this mother started bringing in her 8 year old daughter for pracitce. I have tried to talk to her but she doesn't like me or something. All the other people talk to me. Even the 2 year old that came in with his grandfather. He was shaking my hand and being all professional like...It was pretty funny. I just worked on the 3 forms. On Monday, after the rest of this weeks practice, I will ask Sifu if he is ready to start showing me some Lion Dancing because I need to learn it as soon as possible and as much as possible.
Well, I just took a shower and my face is still beat red from practice. Sleep well all.

Posted by Phil at 04:48 PM | Permalink

I had mentioned to Coco today about how we were planning to go to Shanghai, but because of the recent protests, it may not be a good idea to go because it was dangerous. Coco just laughed. And many others laughed at that as well. Coco said there should be no problem at all. She even called her cousin going to school in Shanghai and he said there was nothing to worry about. So, we both reveiwed the situation after looking at our other options, which are pretty much the same anywhere we go. There are protests in every major city in this country, at least, the visiting hotspots. And it was Yumi's decision to want to go. So we are. All the worrying for nothing I guess. I will look for hotels this evening. However, I am gonna search for one away from People's Square where the protests have been held in the past. On May 4th apparently there is one scheduled because in 1919 there was a massive demonstration there and so for many years they celebrate the anniversary. Or something. Yumi doesn't want to be able to see the square. So we can go elsewhere. We also plan to go to Huangzhou that day in the early morning.
I yelled at a group of chinese today at the hospital. I was standing there trying to give my meal ticket to the cooks and people kept cutting in front of me and the cook would take their ticket first. So after about the 3rd time that happened, i was all like, "WTF! Do you not see me standing right here!" That got my ticket taken right away. Giggle. What a shame.
Spent all evening trying to find a hotel in Shanghai. I think I found one. Seems to be pretty good location for a pretty cheap price. Great.
I will let you know how it goes.

Posted by Phil at 05:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

"frictions and problems of various kinds ... can only be settled in an orderly manner by abiding by the law and with a sober mind."
No mention of the protests.
Today was laundry day! I also cleaned up my pigsty of a room. You know, I should sue the chinese advertisement company that made the add for this Lonon handheld vacuum cleaner. There is a giant billboard down by the Bus Station of Eric Tsang, hilarious chubby hong kong actor, holding up 4 10lb bowling balls with a pitchforked vacuum hose using the model I have. DAMNIT! This thing won't even pick up the small chips of wall that fall on the floor when I punch the Air Conditioner to stop making noise. What a hunk of crap.
I went out to buy a pair of new shoes today. I wore the soles out on the pair that I brought to China. There were holes in the soles and I seems that I have a tendency to be walking on the outsides of my feet, so most of the wear is on the outside part of the shoe. And the past few days the muscles in my left leg have been quite sore because of wearing these shoes, too small slippers, and then running long distances afterward. Hopefully the new shoes and lack of slippers helps clear it up tomorrow.
They are a nice pair of shoes. Casual yet nice. Not sneakers or sport shoes. They are kinda like my old ones, but not as big and clunky. i was really hoping to get a pair of Velcro shoes though. They have a bunch here. They got 3 straps. Totally rad. Only problem was that they hurt my feet while I tried them on. Icky. They were really cheap though...its a shame. I had also found a kickin' pair of two tones. They look like sadle shoes, only the black and whites are reversed. I totally need to get those. Very nice and shiny and pantenty leather. I will go back and pick them up later sometime.
As I was walking home from getting a Sundae at McDonald's, I walked by a hilarious T-Shirt. "HEAVY METAL Guitar Hero". YES!!! TOTALLY NEED IT! TOTALLY BOUGHT IT! Its light green with white letters. And its kinda thin and it looks as though the hood was cut off, but it still has the hoody pulls on it. Super funny. Totally rocking.
One thing that really did upset me today was this. Yumi and I purchased tickets to go to Shanghai yesterday. And I have been asking her many times, "Do you think Shanghai will be fine considering all that has been going on?" I wanted to make sure she was ok with going to Shanghai. She always said "Yes, I want to go to Shanghai." So, I said ok. I still felt that the protests will be over by then. This morning she Instant Messages me and says she just spoke with her Japanese Language superior about her trip to Shanghai and the teacher told her that "Shanghai is the most dangerous place to visit for you right now." So now, she is all worried and wants to change tickets to go somewhere else. !!!!!!!! Why didn't you talk to them before we bought the tickets. You knew what our plan was and you knew the issues facing us. I was so irritated. She then said that on a Japanese news website they have a protest planned in Shanghai on May 4th. How the japanese news site got this information, I have no clue. There are prolly tons of warnings aimed at the japanese from their news organizations and government. It looks as though these things won't be dying down anytime soon.
So, now, we are discussing where else we can go. I am thinking most likely Wu-dang Shan, by Wuhan. The mountain is famous for the Taoist monks who built places into the sides of the moutnain. And they are also famous for Wu-dang Gong Fu. Most Americans know the term "Wu-Tang". Old movies and a real crappy rap group carry that name.
Yumi came over this evening to help brainstorm places to go and we didn't get anywhere cause she could offer no suggestions. I was searching all around for information on getting to the Wudangshan, but I only found hints at travel options. Basically you have to fly into Wuhan, the capital of Hubei, and then either take a 7 hour bus ride or a 12 hour train ride. I can only find one hotel online for the city of Wudangshan and the main city 50 minutes away, Shiyan. Great! It looks like I can't really plan for this trip. But I guess that is the adventure of travelling thru China. Like the Lonely Planet Website said, "China isn't just a different country, its a whole different world." Yumi had class at 8pm and I was so frustrated with the trip planning, lack of useful info, and sore leg that I didn;t go to practice, so I vegged out the rest of the nite and looked up some more info before I went to bed. I informed Yumi about our options in Wudangshan and other things. Hopefully we can take care of this business tomorrow. sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 01:25 PM | Permalink

I was out and about this morning riding my bike. I thought about the possibilites of anything negative happening here in this small town regarding the Japanese protests. So far it has been contained to only major cities. Nothing massive here yet. I don't believe it will last much longer. Maybe another week. The chinese have short attention spans. ;-) Just kidding. If it happens much longer I think the government will take it as a sign of things going a little out of control and they will crackdown and stop it...that is, if they aren't organizing it. Who knows. I had a little conversation with my Taiwanese-Canadian friend, who is into diplomatic relations and what not. I thought it would be interesting to post online. It gives some interesting thoughts and worries that are out there. And of course, not all chinese hate the japanese. I think the smart people in this country know whats going on. But there are so many that are brainwashed here, a small fraction in this country is still a large number of people. Its nuts. Here it is:

S8: how are you?
ME: a little worried about these protests in major cities in China.
ME: i am not worried so much for myself as I am for my girlfriend, who is japanese, and for the protestors...I believe its entirely possible that another Tiannamen could happen.
S8: oh oh....it's not reported here
S8: they down play the situation
ME: whats not reported?
ME: read CNN.com
ME: thats where I am getting most of the news, and Google.
S8: I follow Canadian News...don't reall like CNN
ME: but I know from the Japanese and what has been said.
S8: is your gf teaching in China as well?
ME: yes. teaching Japanese.
ME: she was warned by her school last week to be careful.
ME: A japanese boss head, here in Xiaolan...who is really kool talked to us yesterday and he said he asked the Xiaolan government for protection.
S8: what was the response?
ME: the response...the government said "Yes." but I have come to not trust anything the chinese say.
ME: I haven't heard of any protests or seen any in this city. but there have been some in Guangzhou and Shenzhen. Also, Yumi's school, they have access to the school emails system and one of the chinese teachers who is nice to Yumi and the other Mayu, sent out a really negative email in support of the protesting and the hating of the japanese. Now, the headmaster has suspended use of the school email to Yumi and Mayu so they don't see the bad emails that are still being sent around.
irmenudo@yahoo.com: the protests in all the big cities that have been going on are obviously backed by the government, if not directly organized by it.
S8: how does she feel about it?
ME: she is slightly worried but not really at all.
S8: Then, she should fly back to Japan to be with her family
ME: she feels safe that Hirano-san said that the governemtn will protect her. But i asked her last nite, does she really believe that?
S8: I wouldn't trust the Chinese either
S8: doubt it
S8: it's CHINA
S8: they don't honour anything
S8: people disappear without a trace in China *
ME: Well, so far...only 2 japanese people were slightly injured. I don't believe that it wil get to the scale of straight out violence to people.
S8: I'm not living there, so I don't know what the situation is like. But if she fears for her safety, then she should definitely leave. It's not worth it. China is a communist regime. Can't trust anything they tell you.
ME: i am waiting for the protests to turn against China with people protesting corruption and social reforms...then the government will go ape shit. and do something.
ME: well, she feels safe. and I feel safe in Xiaolan as well...surprisingly. I have talked to her about it, but it isn't that widespread. And for right now, there is no immediate danger.
S8: doubt it...happened years ago...look where it got China
ME: I think by next week or the next, it will be calmed down.
ME: well, the new generation could do it, and the chinese don't learn very easily.
S8: don't think the US will interfere, George has other plans. Besides, the US would not do anything to harm business relations
S8: Not all of them are like that..it's the entire system. Starting from the newspaper...to the text books...everything gets filtered
ME: The US could, I mean, if it has the ability to damage both ties (Japan and China) then I think we could do something to help but nothing more than holding conferences on improving relations n stuff like that.
ME: I am aware of what its like over here.  So much is held from them...
S8: I am Taiwanese-Canadian
S8: people in Taiwan tease me and tell me I don't fit in
ME: LOL!
ME: canadian...giggle.
S8: what? CANADIANS are neutral...peace loving people

Yumi and I went for lunch again and then we walked around People's Park for a bit. We came back to the house and picked up Amy who went to the travel agency with us. First we went to a small place to see about tickets to Shanghai and hotels, but the small place doesn't do hotels. Great. The only other choice was to go to the China Travel Agency. That vile nest of vipers that screwed me over on my Beijing trip, they better not this trip. I really didn't want to go there. Luckily, we did no business with the actual travel agency. In it there was a seperate place that dealt with plane tickets. Unfortunately, the don't work with hotels on Sunday. Go figure. I could have dealt with the small place. Instead I came here only not to be able to book a hotel. I will do so online. That will be interesting. I got the plane tickets to Shanghai. We will take a 945pm flight on Sunday May 1st from Shenzhen and get to Shanghai at 1145pm. Then we will head to the Hotel. most likely the YMCA in Shanghai that I found while searching online later in the evening. We will leave Shanghai to Guangzhou at 230pm on Saturday May 7th. So we get some good time spent in Shanghai. If any of you out there know of places to visit and things to do in Shanghai, let me know! I know a few things from John and Daisy's Grandpa. It should be a fun time.
While walking back I talked to Coco on the fone and she wants me to come visit her place tomorrow because her nephew, Kevin, who I met in Foshan, will be visiting. I could prolly stop by for a little bit before practice.
Well, time for bed. Later.

Posted by Phil at 08:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Chinese Protestors Turn Violent ugh.

It rained most of the day. When it wasn't raining it was very cloudy, dark, and wet. The moisture just hung in the air. I went out to lunch with Yumi this afternoon to a real nice western style resturant at the bottom of her apartment complex. It was pretty much over-priced western style food. The waiter was really annoying. He just stood at our table and kept on asking what we wanted and saying stuff while we were trying to decide. Hold your horses, garson (sp?). I had spaghetti, which wasn't very good. Yumi had a small pizza with lots of cheese. I think I have started to become lactose intolerant from the lack of dairy products here. I haven't been drinking much milk and eating much cheese, so when I get alot, I feel all bloated or whatever. Its a bummer cause I love cheese. I had also ordered a Ceasar Salad for the both of us...oh wait...i'm sorry...a Caeser Salad. The waiter brought it to us and right away I was all like, "Zhe shi shen ma?" (what's this) The guy was like, "Caeser Salad". Someone must tell them and instruct them on how to make Caeser Salads here. I will describe it. First off, there was no lettuce in the salad at all. Secondly, there were apples and pear chunks in it. Thirdly, there were 1cm^3 fried bread chunks in it. Fourthly, there was no grated cheese or Caesar dressing or vegetables. It was a very bizarre salad. Can anyone tell me what this was because it wasn't a Caesar Salad. While we were there, a chinese guy showed up that Yumi knew. He is one Hirano-san's underlyings. If you don't remember Hirano-san, he is the Japanese head boss of a local company that I met on my Beijing Trip when I met Yumi and Rumi. I have seen him randomly since and he is always very nice. I always tell Yumi to say hello for me because some of her students are taking internships at the company so she sees him weekly. But anyway, Yumi said this underlying reminded her of a Yakuza member (Japanese Mafia gangster). I said, "Why don't you go say 'Hello'?" She giggled a bit and said, "No". She looked at him and realized he was sitting at the table with Hirano-san. So we waved and bowed our heads slightly. We continued on with our meal. Near the end of it, Hirano-san got up to go to el bano and on his return he walked up to me and politely asked permission, "Do you mind if I talk to Yumi for a few moments in Japanese about some important things." I was all like, "Of course." Compelely surprised he asked for permission. Being polite I guess. He crouched down to chat with her. He said a bunch of stuff in Tokyo-Talk and I was like, ok. Basically after he finished, he thanked me and went back to his talbe, this is what he said...
-Something about her students
-He spoke with the Xiaolan Local Government and asked for their protection of Japanese workers staying in the area. Including Yumi and Mayu. The government agreed...(personally I don't give that much weight. One thing you learn is not to believe what anyone says in this country)
-He said that he was just called back into work today and is worried because he had a little too much too drink for lunch. (His face was a little red).
After lunch we all headed out.
I had class with Jack, Daisy, and Violet. Violet was 30 minutes late. She has been coming very late the past couple weeks. I taught them emotions today and a few things to say when you greet people. Violet picked it up right away, thankfully. After class I chatted with Catherine about Vacation days for May Holiday. Turns out it will be May 1-7. But of course what the chinese do is move a day over to Saturday, so I will have a full day on Sat April 30th and then work straight thru the returning weekend of May 13th. Oh well.
I headed out to the gym where I ran for 30 minutes and did some weights. Chinese muscle-heads are just like American muscle-heads, however, they are not as fat and big as American muscle-heads...which is much easier on the eyes and ears. And they don't like to wear shirts which can be just as irritating. "Homer, make sure you wipe your sweat from the machines. Last week I got a nasty rash." -Reinier Wolfcastle
I went back to Yumi's and spent some time with her. She loves Disney movies so I borrowed a couple from Peter and we watched 2 of them. It was a good day to stay in because of the rain.
After watching the movies I checked the internet to see how China fared today with these Japanese protests. See the above link. The riots turned violent. I have no problem with the chinese protesting the Japanese school books, because I think they should protest against them. I agree with the upset attitude over the deletion of history, eventhough I think it should be watered down a bit for children, they shouldn't remove it. So, I agree with that. What irritates me is when protestors start to harass people, preach hatred, and cause damage. "Be Vicious Towards Japanese Devils" and "Japanese Pigs Get Out" Great slogans people. Can they possilbly imagine what would happen if the Japanese actually left? Oh, and, of course, let's discuss the whole thing behind riots and how they only hurt the people causing them and other innocent bystanders...just like the Rodney King riots...the chinese rioters smashed up Japan-style business and other things selling Japanese products, nevermind that the owners were Chinese and local neighborhood owned shops. You are only hurting yourselves, your commmunity, and innocent people. Ignorance. Only hurting themselves. This kind of thing disgusts me.
These protests also reek of government organization. The posting of "march routes" and that the protestors are protesting against the bid for Japanese on the UN Security Council...I don't know of any chinese person not in the Party (i only know a couple party members) that pays attention to politics in any way. There is so much that is held from these people they have no idea whats going on. The only foreign countries most of those I encounter really even know about are America, England and Australia. They know the names of others, but to point them out on a map is impossible. The government is taking advantage of the effectiveness of mob rule and focusing it on Japan. (mind you I still believe they should protest the books, and Japan should take care of this, Yumi feels the same way, but they shouldn't be losing control over it)
The only good that can come out of these protests is if the chinese people stop protesting their misfocused anger and hatred on Japan and start protesting one of the real major reasons for their problems. As the article says, some officials fear that the protestors will start targeting the government on corruption and social/political reforms. I just hope this doesn't lead to another Tiannamen Square. Hey, its possible, I mean, 2 weeks ago if someone told me there would be 20000 chinese protestors egging and throwing stuff at the Japanese embassies and consulates...I would have said, "no way." I have known about this for a while before coming to China, but living in China really hits it home to ya, the Chinese are brought up to hate the Japanese. Its like Peter said, "Chinese people don't grow up, they are cultivated."
Pray for this country.
Headed home. Time for bed.

Posted by Phil at 01:12 AM | Permalink

Really long day today. Had lunch at that noodle shop. The guy was playing with my bike like he has never seen one and sat down next to me at the table staring at me and then he started playing with my fone. Then New John showed up and we chatted for awhile before I had to leave for class.
Classes went well, just long.
A little boy in 3rd grade class was wearing a T-shirt that had the british flag that encompassed the whole shirt. Across one of the bars was writing in big white letters, "DIVA". Couldn't help but giggle.
I was so tired from classes and the gym that I had to cut Chinese Lessons short today. I was just too tired and couldn't think. So i apologized and left half way thru. They invited me to Daisy's bday dinner next Friday. That was nice. They invited me in Chinese. It took me a few moments to figure it out.
I took a nap for 1 hour and then headed out to Lion Dance where I worked hard.
Tiring.
Good nite all.

Posted by Phil at 05:00 PM | Permalink

School went OK. Went to the gym, ran for 45 minutes. Had lunch at a noodle shop that I think just went up. Its by those same group of people that run a couple others around town. Very good stuff.
Had a 15 minute conversation with the cook while I ate. He was nice, however, he just starred at me the whole time. It was very awkward. So I struck up a conversation with him to lighten my mood. But when he had nothing to say or me...he just stared. Very creepy.
Had class with Daisy. It was good.
Came home really tired and watched "Meet the Fokkers". Pretty good.

Posted by Phil at 05:05 PM | Permalink

China May Block Japanese UN Security Council Bid
China is a 'Scary' Country - You ain't just whistling Dixie, Sister!
I want to know how China got on the council if they are putting up a fight about respecting history and Wen is using this as his main point, "Only a country that respects history, takes responsibility for history and wins over the trust of peoples in Asia and the world at large can take greater responsibilities in the international community."
This coming from a country that constantly, even today, destroys its own history and recreates it to support the Communist Ideal. I don't know how many Chinese I have talked to that think Shaolin is the greatest and first ever martial art in the world. And that it is still real. Its like talking to a wall.
Its the same as those Biblical arguements..."God put all the fossils that date back millions of years to test our faith. The Earth is only 4 thousand years old." (or whatever age they say it is)
Ancient cities and art is being destroyed so that they become Modern. They don't even know about thier own history dating 50 years ago. What a shame. Whenever I start to talk about WWII era stuff, they glaze over.

As for this....
WHO CARES!!!!

This Chinese "One-Child Policy" is turning this next generation of kids into super spoiled brats...more so than the previous generations. I see it in Daisy and her cousin. Her cousin is really bad. I just got back from my chinese lesson and I couldn't hear half of it because he was screaming about every other minute about stuff. His grandfather and aunt would show a slight bit of displeasure but not do anything about it. They just let him get away with throwing his toy on the floor or not doing his math exercises. It was wierd...and very irritating. So I totally punched his two front teeth out. No, I am just kidding. He lost his two front teeth naturally when they fell out after I took my foot out of his mouth. No, just kidding about that. They just fell out naturally.......
Daisy isn't as abusive as her brother is. She just sits on the table and stuff and does things, and when she does things that upset her parents, they give that quick stern look and she stops doing what she's doing for a bit with a giggle. Like she knows its worng, but she is gonna do it anyway, until she is told to get off the table again. For as long as I have known her, I have only seen her really cry once.
Just wait till the current and past generations start controlling the government and businesses. You may think the proverbial fecal matter has hit the fan now...just wait, brother...just wait.

I went to the gym today. It was good. Afterwards, my two 6th grades were put back to back instead of seperated. The first 6th grade class is the real bad one usually, never following my directions. I kicked 14 kids out of my class at once. It was 2 rows of kids I had go up to do some things, and no one was doing it, so I told them to leave. The rest of the class sure did participate after that. May proceeded to scold them outside and when they came back, they participated.
The second class went ok. There were a few trouble makers, but at least nothing horrendous.
Kindergarten went pretty well. They were really loud and I shut the lights out to keep them quite once.

I went to practice tonite as well. I think its sad when people are walking past the studio and take a look in on practice and all they see is 5 highschool students playing Leap Frog. Pathetic. I would be super pissed if I were Guo Sifu. I would totally bust some heads and break some legs.
Good nite all.

Posted by Phil at 02:46 PM | Permalink

Today was interesting. Quite.
1st class went well with the 4th graders. The 2nd class was a whole different story and Lucy had to sit in on another teacher's class today so I was all by my lonesome. This is the 4th grade class with the two really naughty kids. One of them I think has some mental issues and I think the other one just has ADD or something. Anywho, I was getting sick of trying to punish them by having them stand in the front of the class because it wasn't working and Lucy is always yelling at them. Most kids, once is enuff. These kids make games out of it it seems like. They get up there, goof around, get some laughs. Last time I made him hold chair with his arms outstretched in the doorway. That seemed to work for about 5 minutes until he started running up and down the halls. I made the decision to just ignore them and see if that helped. However, after about 5 minutes of that, I learned that that wasn't gonna work. The fat mental kid wasn't much bothersome today for some reason, but at one point he took his shoes off in the back of the class and started picking his toes with his pen. I didn't even bother doing anything. He is quiet, thats good enuff. The other kid though, the ADD spaz, man. The first 5 minutes of class, he was up and rolling around in the window shades, harassing a girl, walking up and down the rows grabbing people's books, and disrupting the class. That's it, this kid has issues. He is not doing it for attention. I was really irritated and I could not teach. I took him by the hand to the office. Very calmly he went. Like it was an everyday occurance. I took him down once. I took him to the English area and May was the only one there. Oh...this is great. Like May is gonna be able to do anything. So i left him there. I got back to class and 5 minutes later, there was again peeping his head over the window and running back and forth between the doors. So, I took him down to the office again, as I walked to the English area, there were no teachers there, one of the Gym teacher's (the former police officer) saw me escorting this kid, and he snickered..."He's back..." I put him in Lucy's seat this time. I went back to class.
The cat came back, he just wouldn't stay away. 5 minutes later, again, he was at the windown and peeping his head round the door. I can just imagine that May scolded him and then let him go. Like that is doing anything. So I took him down to the office. As I walk thru there again, I was checking to see if any other english teacher was there and i saw the gym teacher again giggle as I brought this kid in. I couldn't find an english teacher so i was like, i got an idea. I took him to the headmasters' office. In there sat the Uber-Headmaster, the Vice-Headmaster, and the English Headmaster. I stood there in the doorway with the kid and i said, "Wo bu yao." (i don't want.) The three headmasters just nodded their heads at the same time.
I went back to class and taught for about 5 minutes and the rest of the kids were not behaving so I gave them the silent treatment for about 10 minutes before they all started talking to me in English, which was great, the rest of the class time was very good. Wretched little swine they are.
For lunch, I was told to meet the English teachers at the Flower Hotel for Dim Sum, so I did. On my way out as I walked down the hall, I saw, just outside of the Headmasters' office, the little boy that I don't want, talking and crying to one of the headmasters and another woman who could only be his mother. Busted.
Lunch was funny because Coco brought her daughter Michelle and made her sit next to me so she could speak english. It was funny. I first ran into her and Coco as I was coming out of the bathroom from washing my hands. Michelle saw me, got all excited and stood at attention as she gave me a big smile and said, "HI PHIR!" Well, actually, her english is pretty good since she has been practicing alot. So during lunch I was teasing her and her mother all in good fun and they did it back to me. It was enjoyable. Finally I don't feel left out of these lunches. Usually I am with all the English teachers and all they do is speak Guangdonghua and occasionaly ask me about some random english word like, "Bedroom". Thats what I got today. "How do you say it?" Bedroom. "Ok. Thank you." Strange...
After the funny exchange of languages between Michelle and I, I headed over to the hospital because Yumi was on the drip there. She has a mild infection that requires her to be ripped off and spend 2.5 hours of her day for multiple days getting a bacterial drip thru an I.V. I swear, the chinese are sooo incompetent at things dealing with medical practice. There are better ways of doing this. I have learned that there are no OBGYNs and a friend of mine and I had a discussion about the lack of sexual/puberty education these people get.
Here is an example:

N/A: I wonder if they even know what an OB-GYN is. There is probably some assinine chinese solution for a woman's period..."eat the roasted ovaries of a platypus that has basked in the full moon's light for 3 hours. Chase them down with a warm cup of tea mixed with mercury. After this, stick some needles in your lower back and call your mother. . .she'll know what to do."
Boy. . .Sometimes when I talk to women here, I often am reminded of how glad I am that I wasn't born Chinese.
irmenudo: yeah. lol. true that....and the fact that you can't leave the country
N/A: Yeah. . .I mean, can you imagine having a personal problem that you needed to take care of, but couldn't talk about it because of "shame". I mean, in the US, women are always talking about their nether-regions.
That, and the sheer lack of sex-ed if frightening. Yeah, my friend was telling me about how he went to a hotel with his girlfriend, and had taken a bath. He let the water out of the bath, and suggested that she take one.
She refused.
"Come on," he said. "It's very relaxing, you'll enjoy it."
She absolutely refused. Why????? She was absolutely convinced that she would become pregnant if she used the bath after he did. Even with new water, she refused.
N/A: And the crazy period rules my friend gave me, which I'm going to remember forever.
irmenudo: period rules?
N/A:
1. you can't eat Ice Cream when Aunty Flo comes to town. Do this, and it's headache time next month.
2. Same for sitting on the floor or anywhere cold.
3. Same for WASHING YOUR HAIR.
irmenudo: what? she can't eat icecream? thats insane!
N/A: yup. We went to McD's one night, got ice cream got outside, and she tells me in all earnestness that she "forgot. . .can't eat this."
irmenudo: LOL!

All that seriously happened. Seriously. I can't make this stuff up people.

Anywho, I showed up at the hospital to keep her company and then she came back to my place to rest before class. I hate spending time in that Drip Room. Its so depressing. People laid up in these padded airplane seats with tubes sticking into their arms as they stare off into space. Always 2-3 babies crying...always. Even if there are no babies in the vacinity, the hospital staff has a recording that they loop, I am sure of that. When babies are there, they either have bloodied bandages on their bodies, the same with the grownups. But the thing that gets me sometimes is seeing a baby with an IV jammed into their forehead. It really messes with you when you see the mother carrying the baby across the parking lot in her little baby wrap. Chinese women have this wrap/cloth they wrap their baby up in and sling their child on their back or front. Its pretty efficient way of carrying a child, but it doesn't provide head or neck support. I don't know how many babies I have seen that I thought were dead because of the way their head just hung out of the wrap when they were really just sleeping. Anywho, I see these women carrying their little kids in warp, with an IV jammed in their forehead, and the mother is carrying a long metal pole above her head that contains the drip medication for the child. Its a sight to see. Next time I will try and take a foto.
2pm came around and I headed to class where I headed back to deal with the 6th graders. The first class was ok. This is the one with a bunch of male trouble makers. It turns out these are the only ones willing to perform in any activities unless i force girls to do it. They have a tendency when I tell them what to do, 2 of them do it, the other 4 stand around pretending not to understand for fear of making fools of themselves (which in essence they are doing by not participating - go figure), and the other two start to wrestle. I have given up trying to control it because at least this way the rest of the class enjoys it and they are easier to get to do the lesson.
The 2nd 6th grade class went really well. It was a blast.
between 6th grade and Kindergarten, I went to a shop to get a bunch of stickers cause I was running low. I got some really cheezy ones, they rule.
Kindergarten went pretty well. I got the 2-4 year olds to all say "My name is....". Well, all except about 3-4 out of 25. Lynn was my assistant today. So i didn't have Gary scaring the kids like last time.
Afterwards I had to go to teach Daisy.
She learns so quickly. I plan a lesson that should take an hour and wiht her its over in like 20 minutes. Afterwards, it was my lesson. I was just practicing stuff with Lisa and Daisy. At one point Daisy had to go to the bathroom apparently. I didn't realize this until I looked up and asked, "Where's Daisy run off too?" Her mom looked off in her directions and then I heard her.... At the bottom of the stairs...in a possible potty trainer or can...or something. I DON'T KNOW! I was like, "Ooooh man!" I was trying to block the thought that Daisy participated in disgusting chinese bowel movements. Totally ruined now. I was totally saddend. All I could see of her was her red stockinged knees and feet. As I groaned in agony, Lisa told me that Daisy asked her not to tell me what she was doing. But i found out and then Daisy peered out behind her mom's scooter and my bicycle, her face on her knees with this huge adorable smile and giggle as I heard a "ploop". GOD WHY!? I then told her that it better not be smelly. Daisy's grandma then came out of the kitchen and turned the corner almost stepping on Daisy and yelped. LOL! Then her grandfather came home and went to go to the stairs to get something and was taken aback and laughed and said something. I just hung my head and shook it. Lisa was laughing. Crazy.
The rest of the night was pretty much nothing special. I got dinner at the noodle shop. I came home and the people were all watching that Taxi movie with Queen Latifa and Jimmy Fallon. Any movie with Queen Latifa as the lead...ugh....
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 09:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

To write about today.

Posted by Phil at 09:47 PM | Permalink

KKK Auction

Way to make a Michigander in China proud! I come from a state in which there is a KKK Auction and Recruitment flyers. YES!

Posted by Phil at 10:57 PM | Permalink

See you in October. Rumi left today. I came over to the apartment to see her off and console Yumi. I showed up around 830AM. Rumi was gone, she had taken her cat, Nan (cat in japanese), to a students house. Rumi`s not able to take him back with her, unfortunately, so she is giving him to one of her studnets. A cute cat too. He likes to play but can be a little rough. Apparently, he was crying all last nite. Yumi said she couldn`t sleep at all.
Yumi then got a phone call expressing to her from her school supervisors that it would be best if she not accompany Rumi to the airport in Guangzhou. I asked why?. After about 10 minutes of confusion, this is what I got out of it. THe Japanese prime minister, Koizumi, visits the Yasukuni Shrine to honor the Japanese soldiers who died during WWII sometime in August and during the New Year of every year. Apparently, just the other day, a Japanese Alcohol Company Boss said that its Koizumi`s duty to do this. Apparently, that made the chinese snap and caused a bunch of protests. I was all like, its illegal for the chinese to gather and demonstrate. But apparently its not illegal when they are protesting against an enemy. Anyway to unite and distract the chinese people from their true enemy, I guess. So, there were huge protests in Beijing and Guangzhou at the consulates. People were throwing rocks and bottles at the consulates. Yumi said that the supervisor said that some japanese folks and organizations were attacked. There is not a clear understanding if anyone has lost their life in the attacks. The supervisor was not sure of that. Its possible that its a rumor. However, the company/school in Shenzhen where Noriko, one of Yumi`s friends, works was attacked. Because of this happening, the Headmaster thinks it a good idea to play it safe and not have Yumi go with Rumi to the airport, just in case.
And of course, after reading CNN this evening, I got more information.
Japan protection call over protests
Basically, according to this, the chinese are upset that the Japanese want to enter the UN Security council and still haven`t attoned for their wartime massacres. I plan to go to Shanghai soon, and John told me to go to Nanjing and visit the Rape of Nanjing museum. He said its amazing. I don`t know if its a good thing to take Yumi there...
Also, the chinese are upset that recent Japanese History Schoolbooks gloss over all the atrocities they committed.
Hmmm....well, lets see here, you don`t teach little children of any country that their forefathers/fathers raped an entire city, forced people to rape each other and decapitate others while your forefathers stand by laughing at it all. You just don`t do it. Kids can`t handle that. I mean, I never knew that Christopher Columbus was a horrible man until I got into highschool. Up until then, he was painted as a noble and honorable man who was prosecuted because he believed the world was round. (all sailors knew that back then) No one in elementary school told us that our forefathers massacred the Native Americans, shot and killed women and children doing it. All we got was that our forefathers stole the land. And of course, the chinese children aren`t taught much about the Cultural Revolution, The Gang of Four, and the crap that went on after Mao kicked the bucket. Or are given Orwell`s 1984 to read.
As for being upset about the Japan being added to the UN Security Council? Like it matters. Its totally inefficient. I have only heard of one positive thing that the UN Peacekeepers have done. When has it diverted and international disaster? Oh, they are good at writing letters telling of their disapproval. That helps.
Well, back to today.
Rumi came back and finished packing up all her stuff. Then Mayu and her husband came over to say goodbye. I went to the CRC to get some morning snacks for everyone. I got back and we chatted a bit. One of Rumi`s students showed up as well. At 1045AM, one of the school people/government people showed up in an Audi to take her to the airport. Afterwards, Rumi`s student left. Then the remainging for of us went for some Yamcha...or dim sum. It was good. It was nice.
Yumi was quite upset today. She was very very sad.
That was pretty much my day.
Goodnight all.

Posted by Phil at 09:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Well, I promised you fotos of the two guitars I bought, so here they are:

Leopard Randy Rhodes
Classy Les Paul

enjoy.

Posted by Phil at 06:53 PM | Permalink

Today was a nice saturday so far. Spent most of my morning learning more about Garage Band and how to use it. Talked with John via IM for a bit. Discussed plans to go to Shanghai for the May holiday. Its the first week in May. I also had spoken to Daisy's grandpa about this because his wife is from Shanghai and Lisa, his daughter, Daisy's mom, grew up there and can speak Shanghai-hua. The shanghai dialect. He gave me some ideas of places to go. Great.
I had class at 3pm, but I had to go in at around 230pm because some woman from Shiqi or ShanXiang wanted to interview me for the newspaper. Apparently, she saw me in the Lantern Festival and wanted to do a story on the only gweilo doing Gong Fu in Zhongshan. Apparenlty, a white person doing gong fu is news in China. Strange. So I show up and she uses Jeanne and Mountain as interpreters. She asked a few questions and I answered. She asked me how I have improved since I have been in China, and i was like, I haven't improved, if anything I have lost abilities here in China. I haven't been practicing as much, since its hard to practice on your own and when know one is around to push you, its even harder. She told me that Guo Sifu said that I was the best at their center that I was a genious of some sort, which made me blush, but I don't believe he could really feel that that is true. He he thought so, I think he would have shown me how to do the actual lion instead of still working on the same Hong Quan forms. Frustrating at times. I only got like 4.5 months left and 1 month of that has to be spent at the Shaolin Temple, so, he better start get cracking.
I told her some other things as well:
Chinese people think that because they think of their culture to be so complex that its hard for foreigners to learn gong fu and understand it. What a load of B.S. It just takes practice.
Chinese people do have a headstart on it though, since they are brought up watching martial arts on TV so they can do it instinctively almost. But they just don't practice.
I dont' feel like I am progressing much because whenever I go to practice, barely any others are practicing, and Sifu is always busy and no one else can instruct me on the forms. And the other students just sit around and smoke cigarettes. She laughed at this and said she feels that the chinese are lazy too. LoL! awesome.
I then asked, "Can you garuntee me that Donnie Yen will read this interview me and put me in his next movie?" I showed them his website because they have no idea who I am talking about when I say Donnie Yen and I constantly forget his Chinese name. She giggled at that. I also brought in some material from Shorinji Kempo, the Shaolin Monk I met in Las Vegas, and I talkeda bout all that and Gabriel Chin. Told them a bunch of stuff. Mentioned that Gabriel just recently passed away. What a shame.
She wanted to take some fotos of me in some stances outside so I was like, whatever. I wonder which ones they will use. She also sat in on my class with Daisy, Jack, and Violet and took some fotos of me using gong fu with the kids like I usually do in my classes.
Afterwards I headed home. I told her I would send her some fotos of my fotos on my computer of me doing Gong Fu and stuff. I sent a few Shorinji Kempo fotos, me in the New Years shows, and me with Shaolin Monk Shi Xingwei. I hope she can see them and maybe use a couple.
Afterwards, there was the option to go to Practice or go to Badmitten. I chose Practice. I got there and no teachers were around and no one was practicing. There were a few folks from the other troop there...but only one was banging the drum. The others were sitting around. So, after 10 minutes of nothing changing, I headed out to play some badmitten. It was enjoyable. We lacked birdies and rackets and someone had brought two tennis rackets and a broken ball. Robert and I played as best we could on the Badmitten courts. IS THAT COURT REGULATION SIZE OR WHAT!?
Afterwards, I headed home. Everyone was not up for anything since it was late and they had to teach the following morning. Wimps. Well, goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 06:27 PM | Permalink

Well, today I woke up at 630 AM to call Coco and Catherine to let them know whether I could make it to class this morning. I tried Coco, no answer - "power off". I called Catherine and told her I couldn't make the morning classes. I felt pretty bad and that I couldn't really get outta bed, however, since I didn't feel as bad as I did the last time I had this, I may be able to make afternoon classes if I rest. I told her I would call her at 11 to let her know. So, I spent the rest of the morning resting and trying to heal. Around 11 I got up and walked around. I was pretty fine, still sore and my tummy ached a bit, but I could function. I called Catherine up and told her I would be able to make class.
During the lunch period I was able to finish all the DVD burning for the USA package. I really had no desire to eat because my stomach was still hurting, but I eventually ordered some eggs and tomatos because I figured that would be good for me. Nothing bad happened. It went ok. I then headed out to class.
On the way there, as I was riding by the hospital, I saw a chinese guy running out of the entrance way at top speed, across the street thru traffic. Then I saw a security guy running and yelling after him while holding his beret on his head then another security guy came running out as well. Hmm, I wonder what happened? It could think of many things. Strange thing is, I didn't seem surprised by this event. I got to school. I felt icky and I stayed reserved while teaching the 3rd graders, but I got them to enjoy class. Same with Kindergarten today. I taught a few more movements of Hong Quan to the kids. I got 14 movements now. About half the kids are paying attention. They all seem to do it for 20 seconds and then they lose interest. Its funny.
I felt to icky to really go to Daisy's place for CHinese lessons so I called and told them I couldn't make it. I wanted to rest before the bye party. So, I picked up the Ultra-Man cake after class, picked up a picture frame, and the picture from the shop and wrote out some Goodbye Wishes from John and I on the shirt. I then took an hour rest.
I totally needed it. I fell right asleep.
Got up about 8pm and prepared everything for the party. I headed out to Si Ji (Four Seasons), the nice beer gardens over by Longshan Park. Not the normal beer gardens by Normata. There was about 18 people there when everyone showed up. Rumi and Yumi were late because their school had a goodbye dinner for Rumi and it went long, as usual. Unfortunately, Mayu couldn't come becuase her taxi back home left at 10pm. Phooey. While we waited for them, I had almost everyone sign the shirt and look at the shirt and picture. Amy gave Rumi a picture of her, Rumi, and Yumi together at Halloween. Rumi seemed surprised at my shirt and the picture. So that is good.
What sucked was that because Toby is so brain dead, he invited his stalker to the festivities. There is this chinese girl named Wendy or something who is from Harbin, she came to Xiaolan about 4 years ago, she speaks a little english, she is around 17-19 and she is completely infatuated with Toby. Apparently she used to call all the time and she left notes on their door. So, finally, acouple weeks ago, Toby was like, what the hell, I will meet with her. Totally not caring about how it might make Rumi feel. And he did so a couple times. The guy is completely mental. And he invites her to Rumi's going away party. It just makes you wonder how many drugs he has really taken.
My stomach all throughout the gathering was still a bit sore so I didn't drink much or eat much. I had Rumi cut the cake and everyone seemed to like the cake. It tastes like all the other chinese cake I have had. Despite the colors, flair, and looks of all the chinese cakes, they sure taste alot alike. its weird. But she got a kick out of the Ultra-Man. Word. Respect to Ultra-Man. I took off around midnite because I was really tired. Rumi stayed on with Toby, Ben, Miguel, New John, and Ash. It was a good nite. I passed out when I got home.

Posted by Phil at 05:58 PM | Permalink

Today was a pretty decent day. I only had one class in the morning which was good because I stayed up real late last nite doing some work. I got the kids in my 5th grade class to act some stuff out today and that got alot of reaction. The kids were laughing at each other in a good way.
After those classes I had kindergarten and Gary was my assistant. I am trying to get them to say, "My name is...." And that is tuff. I can get them to say My name is, Whats your name, (their name), but I can't get them to say it properly in order. Its funny. A couple got it, and I used them as an example, but that didn't help much. It was super cute though. That one girl with the pig tails that waddled out of the bathroom the other day did it again today, however, this time she waddle out while she was still pulling up her undies. Ugh. oh well.
I tried to get them to play Duck Duck Goose and it was hard for them to understand. The just ran around in circles and didn't try and tag each other. I had to help alot. And the circle kept getting smaller and smaller until they were all playing footsie in the the center of the play floor. So I got them to do the hokey pokey. And some other things and about 5 minutes to 530pm, after none of the kids were paying attention and running around, I ended the class. Then Gary said, we still have 10 minutes. What do you mean, don't you see the clock? There is about 3 minutes left the kids are brain dead.
Gary said, "The clock is fast by ten minutes." Actually its only 5 minutes.
THen have the clock fixed. i get here on time and I leave after the class is over, that may be a little early, but its hard to teach kids when they aren't paying attention.
"But the class is for 1 hour..."
"Gary, did you see me playing games with them and did you see how many were actually paying attention?"
"Well, i will help them pay attention."
This coming from a guy who would get in the kid's face and scare them.

Afterwards I went to Daisy's. We played this English Domino game. Pretty good.
I had some Skippy Peanut butter with Red Bean paste as a snack over there. Daisy got it all over her face along with her cousin. It was pretty yummy.
I went to buy a cake. Which was a task all in itself. I tried to buy the cake this afternoon, but the one I wanted would have cost a crapload. And they kept changing the story on me so I had to call Amy about 5 times before I got an idea of what was going on. I decided later on that the cake was fine, it was special and i could get others to chip in. However, I went back and tried to get it and the people said their computer was broken so they couldn't place the order. Great. So I went elsewhere where I got a 3 pound 2-layer cake that has got Ultra-Man on it. Bad ass. This is gonna ruel.
After I headed home, some folks were having pizza while watching the Passion of the Christ. So I watched it with them. I had a couple slices. And wouldn't you know it, something clogged me up, I think it was the peanut butter, because I hadn't much to eat today and my stomach felt like it was gonna explode. And around 10 pm it did. Projectile like.
It felt exactly what I had around the New Years time, the food poisoning. Same symptoms. I just hope it doesn't last as long, I got Rumi's bye party tomorrow. So, I called Coco and Bond people to let them know I may not be able to make it to class tomorrow as I was sick.
I will call them tomorrow morning for an update.
goodnite. ugh.

Posted by Phil at 01:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I came back from 1st period after Lily was giving me attitude, "Don't waste time explaining vacation, just teach the words!" I need to set up the context, Psycho!
I walk to my desk and Anna is sitting there singing in her chair. I was like, "What is that?"
-A song for my 3rd grade class.
"That doesn't sound like English."
-Ha ha. I know, its chinese. It translates, "I will stay with the Mommy Land...Motherland."
I snickered when she said that...I was like, You don't have a choice in the matter. More evidence of brainwashing.

Posted by Phil at 10:48 AM | Permalink

Its a day of respecting the dead by cleaning all the crap and soot that has piled up on their loved ones graves because no one knows how to keep anything clean in this country.
I showed Amy the tank scene from Tiannamen Square Massacre. She had never seen or heard about it. Robert was dumbfounded. Its strange, everyday he says he finds more out about what the Communists edit from the masses. "Its disgusting!"
You didnt know that before coming here? Wow.

Posted by Phil at 10:46 AM | Permalink

Today I woke up late cause I was up late doing stuff. Just went to the gym, worked on computer related stuff. went to chinese lesson...which sucked, and then went to practice...which sucked.
I went to the gym today. Its funny when you see a guy on the treadmill smoking a cigarette. I took my bike into the gym this time. A couple people tried to tell me to leave it at the bottom of the stairs and I totally ignored them. "Then you pay for it when it gets stolen." Its great sometimes when you don't understand the language and you deal with Chinese people. You can do things that no one else does, things that are not allowed, and get away with it because they are too afraid of being embarassed and trying to speak english. Its great sometimes. Most of the time, though, it sucks.
Chinese lessons were lame today. Lets see, Catherine was 30 minutes late. When we got there she was like, "I will teach you about chinese family relations. What to call each other." Ben was all like, "I don't even know how to say 'Hello' or 'How are you?' or 'Waiter, I want chicken.' How is this gonna help me? I don't even know the basics of the language." And I was all like, "Ditto!" I asked her if we could have class at 7pm instead and she said she could and told me she would just eat dinner at 9pm and I was like, "NO! I ain't gonna force you to change when you eat dinner. I will just come for 45minutes, which means I got 15 minutes left." After that I told her that she needs to prepare lessons for us, and give us homework because all the stuff that Lynn and Doris taught us was in no context and no way for us to remember anything.Thanks for wasting 45 minutes of time. I am off to practice.
What a waste, I was the only practicing. There were other Yongning people there that were sitting around screwing around. The news story I was on said, "Everynight, there are hundreds of students practicing along with the son and daughter while the Sifu and his wife are teaching others." Nothing is further from the truth. What a load of bullshit. I don't know how many times Sifu hasn't even been there and I have never seen hundreds of people there. The most I have seen is maybe 100. And they aren't even all Yongning folks, they are with the others too. Headed home. goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:24 AM | Permalink

Well, save for the Happy Ending. I went to this place over by the gym with Yumi today. Apparently its been there for a long time. The massage wasn't the best. What they did on the upper body didn't really do anything for me. But once they got to the legs and stuff, I passed out. After leaving there we headed back here where I continued computer and DVD work.
We went to dinner and then she headed home. I went back and watched a movie while stuff was burning. I watched Once Upon a Time in China and America. Which is the 4th movie in the Once Upon a Time in China series. There are a total of 5 and Jet Li is only in the first 4. I have the 5th, but there is no English on it. The America/English actors they got to play the cowboys were downright wretched. There were some funny and kool bits to it, but I felt overall it was a pretty lame attempt.
Not much happened today. Off to bed folks.
Sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 03:45 PM | Permalink

If yesterday was a terrible day, today was wonderful. It was bright and sunny. Perfect weather. Not hot, not cold, comfortable. A nice breeze. I re-built the files for the DVD and the burn worked. Good. Spent the day burning discs, teaching a class for Violet, Daisy, and Jack, checking out a print shop and badmitten.
I have about 21 copies of the DVD to send to America, since its a double disc set...thats 42 discs to burn. And thats not including the people in New Zealand. I need a replicating pod. The kind that replicate your DNA and take over while you're asleep....with their coughing.
Class with the kids was good. I tried teaching them 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th. Violet picked it up right away. Daisy still confuses 1st with 3rd and Jack was picking up on it, but not as quickly as the others. I tried to play a game where all of us sat down and had one person tell us to stand up and move to the 1st/2nd/etc Chair. I did it first then had Violet come up to do it. She was a little nervous at first, and then something happened, I seriously can't remember what, I don't know if Violet did something by accident, but something made Owen, me, Daisy, and Jack giggle for a split second. This caused Violet's water works to start. She began to cry a bit so I quickly sat her down and took care of her. She is very sensitive. Wow. I then got Daisy up there and she did the game. Violet figured it out and then tried it out later. She got into to it.
After class I headed to a print shop to inquire about some things. Then I headed back to the house and took care of DVD stuff. After doing stuff at home there was a meeting of us to play Badmitten at the #1 Middle School. It was fun. We weren't competeing like last time, because Badmitten isn't supposed to be played like that. Badmitten: The Gay Version of Tennis. Thats saying alot. giggle. We spent a couple hours just smacking that shuttlecock around. It was enjoyable.
Ash let me ride his scooterbike. So I was driving around in circles on the driveway of the middle school when someone said, "Take it on the track." So, I did. Not completely thinking that I shouldn't. Whoops. i know better. A temporary lapse. I took it on the track and opened it up. AWESOME! I want one.
Afterwards we all went to the Beer Gardens, not the usual one though. There is another one on the other side of town by Dragon Mountain Park. So we went there. Its much nicer and we hung out for awhile. We called it a night right before the chinese people started to come over and harass us and make us drink.
Thank God.
Goodnite all.
ps. I am aware of the correct spelling for Badminton.

Posted by Phil at 03:20 PM | Permalink

Today started out really really crappy.
I woke up and got ready for school. Checked my email and learned that Gabriel Chin, the man that taught me old school Yang Shi Taiji Quan & Qi Gong and helped guide me to a path that I have religiously followed for the past 4 years and plan to continue on, passed away of a heartattack yesterday. I chatted with Matt briefly before class and he mentioned that the woman, Terry Schivazo, the woman on life support past away the same day and that the Pope was on his way. Happens in 3's i guess. One thing I started to worry about was how last nite, i was cleaning up my harddrive and I deleted a bunch of duplicate fotos of Gabriel. One had a corruption in it that was causing my harddrive to act really weird. Then when I deleted those files, it freed up 15 gigabytes of space. Then this morning I get this information. I sure hope its just a coincidence.
At first I was like, "Crap, I am gonna miss that crazy chinese dude." The fact that he is really gone didn't start to hit when I was sitting in the office in between classes. So, teaching wasn't really a super concern eventhough I tried to use it to get thru. But, I haven't been feeling good. The kids were relatively ok. Coco and Lucy were both gone today for a seminar so I was alone and I was able to get the kids involved enuff that they didn't go nuts, but a couple did and I had to deal with that. Didn't help me to feel better. :D It also doesn't help that I had to ride my bike home in the rain. While I was out, the sky decided to dump buckets. So, I was getting drenched and then my bike chain popped off. ARGH! This morning has sucked!
I spent lunchtime moping and stuff. Chatted with John and a couple others. I started this journal entry during lunch. I got two more 3rd grades and 1 kindergarten class and then a chinese instruction with Daisy's folks. I just started talking with Chad online, my friend and coach who was very close to Gabriel. This is how the convo went:

Me: was it a heartattack?
C: Well
C: Hard to say
C: It was what sent him to the hospitol
C: It was just time I guess
Me: oooh.
Me: yeah.
Me: maybe another stroke.
C: no
C: He just gave out from what I hear
Me: this isn't an April Fool's Joke from him is it?
C: Funeral is week from sat
C: Heh
C: I wouldn't put it past him
C: :-) 
Me: damnit, now there is no way I can avenge him.
C: Heh
C: We can spread his style all over
Me: yeah.
C: And beat the **** out of (incompetent teachers)
Me: giggle.
C: Show them the error of their ways
Me: GREETINGS FROM THE OTHERWORLD, BIOTCH!
C: DO NOT MOCK THE CHINSTER!
C: Our kung fu is strong with him
C: Now that he is dead he is more powerful than you can imagine
Me: is that birthyear correct?
Me: i figure it is.
C: It gonna take some gettin used to
C: Well best guess
C: That's official immigration
C: Bd
C: I wanna get them to show your photo presentation at the funeral
C: An I am writing a uelogy
Me: good. i was curious if they would use that.
C: It really good and would be a cool thing to show
C: I got a cool mail from jess too abt it
Me: yeah. It would be wonderful. i am gonna watch the thing today
C: I just fwd it to ya
C: Check yr mail
Me: ok.
Me: thanks
C: Needless to say I have been thinking abt reagan a lot today **
Me: LOL!
C: It does help!
C: Lol

** when Jess interviewed Gabriel for his book, Gabe started talking about his younger brother who passed away 2-3 years earlier. He started to cry and then he started to giggle and smile. He said, "Whenever I talk about my little brother, I start to cry. When I start to cry, I think about Ronald Reagan. That man looks so funny you can do nothing but laugh. It always makes me feel better."

Here is the other email from Jess, the man that interviewed Gabe and wrote about him for the book that he had published:

I am very sorry to hear this news. I regret that I only got to meet your teacher once. He was a unique
man, and I treasure that meeting. I learned a lot that day about Tai Ji, life, old age, and what it
means to be oneself. To me he seemed like a much younger man in an old man's body. He was like any of us, just smarter, better educated and vastly more experienced. Yet his love of martial arts and all the stuff we also love was never diminished. I suddenly saw myself 50 years from now. I wonder if I will still have a fraction of the zest for life and continuing inquiry that he had at that age. I won't
forget him, ever.

Much respect to Master Gabriel Chin. They sure as hell don't make 'em like they used to.

Thanks for being there for him and catching as much as you could. I think the seeds he planted in you will grow. Perhaps in ways neither of you forsaw. Please keep your practice alive and in that way Gabriel Chin will never be gone.

Sincerely,
Jess

So those were the emails. My afternoon classes went ok. I guess I was pretty obvious in my upsettedness. Lily asked what was wrong and I told them that my Taiji Sifu passed away. So, they all knew now. I played hangman with my kids in 3rd grade as part of the lesson. I have two big irritations with the way they play the game....well, the shouting over each other is just expected with kids, but some of them, when they say a letter they will add a Guangdonghua "aaaah" to the end of it. The "aaaah" usually means its a question. But its also used to accent stuff. So they would say, "C-aah, B-aah, O-aah, K-aah!" And I have started to ignore them when they do this or I yell at them if they don't stop it. Another thing they do is say the letter twice very fast. So when they say, "T" they say, "TT". This bursts my bubble as well and I treat it like the "-aah" addition. And for some reason chinese people pronounce the English "L" without using their tongue so they make it sound like "O" or sometimes "R". I don't understand this either because chinese has an "L" sound and they use their tongue to pronounce it. Go figure. They also constantly confuse N and M.
During my class I also have students go to the front and point out the words that the kids need to practice to help get everyone involved and enjoyable. So, I then took the kid's seat and caused trouble at certain times like they do to me. I would also say the words with the "-aah" on there. That got the gets more involved cause they were having fun.
After class, I was heading out and saw Coco so I asked her about how to say, "passed away." She said,
die = si. Afterwards she told me a nicer way to say it, "chu la". Then I went to the Bond office to get paid. They asked how I was and I tried to say, "wo de taiji sifu chu la"(my taiji teacher passed away) and they gave me confused looks. I SAID IT RIGHT! Bie ding zhe wo kann! (don't stare at me). They then gave me many other ways to say it. You know, you are doing nothing but confusing me.
After kindergarten which I wasn't in a great mood to teach, I ate some dinner and met up with Daisy's folks to practice some Putonghua. I told them when I got there "wo de taiji sifu chu la" and the grandfather just stared at me confused. UGH! I am saying it right. And I know because Daisy's mom understood me when she showed up.
Afterwards I came home and watched the DVD of Gabe's fotos that I put together. I really like thiis version better than the one I gave to the family. I put Mozart on their copy because Gabe loved Mozart. On this one I had the endtitles to Bubba Ho-Tep becuase the soundtrack of that movie was very beautiful and that song is very emotional. I think.
I am also putting a little something in front of the DVDs now. A little shout out for, as Ali G always says, "Respect". The rest of the night sucked. After I put on a little memorial thing for Gabe in front of the other DVD material, when I was trying to burn a disc, "HARDWARE ERROR!" The disc only got halfway thru. ARGH!
I shut down, rebooted, did some things and burnt again and it burnt the whole way. Good. I popped it into the DVD Player, it got as far as the menu screen and when I hit play it died. NO! WTF!
I was so angry and upset. I checked the DVD on the computer, same issues. Ugh. All that hardwork. THis day has seriously sucked.
Good night all and God bless.

Posted by Phil at 01:03 PM | Permalink

"It is with great sadness that I must report that Gabriel Chin, died today march 31st, 2005 at 9am.

P.s. Gabriel, take it easy on God when you get there, he was doing his best."

That's alot of dimp. I personally didn't receive this information until 745AM April 1st. That really sucks. I was hoping to see him when I came home, but alas. He was a wonderful man and he taught me alot. I will always remember his amazing stories. I hope his family is doing ok.

The day went ok. I didn't have morning classes because I got to school and Lucy said that she was giving a test today so I didn't have to teach. So, I rode home. I used that time to throw some finishing polish onto the DVDs. I had 5th graders this afternoon with Ivy. The one class that is quite good was pretty naughty, not paying attention and such. Usually they are one of my best classes. Oh well.
After that I headed to Kindergarten. I worked with the 2-4 year olds teaching them a bit of gong fu. They seemed to enjoy it. One of the little girls had gone to the bathroom and while I was teaching, she came waddling out into the room with her pants around her ankles, don't worry her undies were on properly. For some reason she was having trouble pulling her pants up. The regulator took care of it and Lynn was giggling.
After class I started to feel tired.
After class I went to teach Daisy. It was just her and her grandmama. I spent an hour trying to teach her some things. She wasn't very focused. I fried her brain. Then it was time for my lesson. I basically just worked on getting tones and learning some words.
Afterwards I headed home and cleaned up some stuff and junk like that.
I then headed to bed.

Posted by Phil at 11:47 PM | Permalink

I woke up actually early to work on getting those subtitles done for the DVD. I put a bunch in only to have DVDSP3 crash on me after I put them in and before I saved the progress. WTF! UGH! Why is the subtitle editor on this thing sooo stupid! So, after wasting time on that I prepared for class.
I talked to Coco about the fone call last nite. I tried to explain what I was saying to her and after I said it again, her response, "Yes." I guess she just doesn't understand.
I had my 5th graders this morning. They were all right except one thing. One of the smart girls in the second class said in front of the whole class, "You is very fat!" So, after a dramatic pause, I dragged her to the front for two reasons: 1. She insulted me. 2. If you are gonna insult me, do it right. "You are..."
During lunch, I spent my time entering subtitles. This subtitle thing has sure turned out to be a huge irritation and pain in the butt.
Once back at school, I parked my bike and immediately about 4 kids rushed over to say Hello and then for some odd reason they found my bike, which they have seen thousands of, to be quite amazing, they said, "WHAAA!", and they started flipping all the gear switches. "SCRAM!" They scattered. Man, I don't know what it is about these kids. Anytime I do anything and I mean anything, they all go, "WHAAAA!" Today, inbetween my 5th grade classes, I was eating an orange. As I was peeling it, two little kids in the office were walking by and were utterly amazed, "WHAAAA!"
Whenever I am wearing my zipper sweatshirt and take it off during class because it gets hot, I hear, "WHAAA!!!" And yes, I am wearing a regular shirt.
I walk by kids that aren't paying attention and they turn and see me and go, "WHAAA!!!"
Why do they do that?
So, after telling those kids to scram, I had my 2 horrendous 6th grade classes. Today was an odd day. The first lesson, the students were really indifferent like they usually are. There wasn't much activity and when I tried to get activity, the kids were resistant as usual. The most memorable thing from that class was the fact that whenever the audio tape, I, or the students read, "We were fishing!" all the kids would bust out laughing.
Am I missing something? Does the phrase, "We were fishing!" sound like a chinese phrase meaning, "Save the killer robots"? I don't know. Of course, since it got students involved I tried to milk it. After about 5 minutes of that crap I finally asked May why they heck they were laughing. Apparently they were laughing because one of the student's father sells fish at the supermarket. I then began to notice whenever they laughed, he wasn't. They were laughing at him, so I plugged some of the bad kids' ears with M-80s, lit them, and ran. FIRE IN THE HOLE!
The second class, the ones that are usually pretty bad where great today. Lots of activity with them. I got to make them laugh a lot, which helps sooo much. If they are laughing then they will 90% of the time actually pay attention. I was asking students around the room at random "Where were you yesterday?" with the location cue cards that we have. Whenever a chinese kid is picked, he/she looks around to those sitting next to him/her a couple times, then looks at my pointer, and realizes that maybe he/she is the one chosen. Then they do this thing that only chinese kids can do... (I think I mentioned this in a previous entry) they point at their face with a curled index finger, look at me with big eyes, a look of question on their face, and their mouth is hanging open because they are saying, "Ngoh?" (that means "me/I" in Guangdonghua). Its a funny thing to see. One of my kids did it, so I impersonated it, and I can do it pretty good, and that sent about 75% of the class into a hysterical laughing fit. Now, I don't know if its because they found it funny, or they were laughing at my use of Guangdonghua or what, but I don't care, becuase it got them involved afterwards.
They were participating in anything I did. It was great. The class was wonderful.
I then hit up Kindergarten afterwards. It was the 12 Kid Older class, previously the 10 Kid Spaz Class from last sememster, but this semester they are much more well behaved because I don't have those tumors in the class anymore. I realized that I must have left my cards at the #1 Middle School during my lesson with Daisy and Violet over the weekend. I called Lynn to see if she could bring them ,but no one ever turned them in...Uh oh. Crap. So I told her to bring some others from the office. The class went good. Continued teaching emotions, Happy, Sad, Excited, Angry, Tired, Love.
Today was a very rainy day. It poured a few times for a span of a couple minutes. Luckily whenever I went out in the open it would hold up and I didnt get very wet. I wanted to go to Lion Dancing, but it was pouring at the time of practice and I didnt want to bother getting soaked. So, I continued to enter subtitles. Spent pretty much from 630-930pm entering the rest of the News Story subtitles in. Finally finished. When completed I was able to get Amy's help for a couple other subtitles.
What a pain.
But the good news is that after finishing up the subtitles, I completed what I think is the final version. Got all the music loaded and I checked all the links, now I need to burn it and check it.
Coco called me around this time. She was like, "Hello Phil!" in her own variation of English. Its fun to listen to...its got a nice rythm to it. Its different than all the other English teachers. I like the way she talks. Even though sometimes I have no clue what she is saying. She called me up and said, "I have a friend in Nanhai (by Foshan) and they want you to go there to teach. Can you? I was like...well, my contract is up in August. She was all like, "Ooooh." in that disappointing tone. I was like why? She said, they got your info from my sister and they want you to teach there now. I am listening to this and I am like, "What? I am in contract to teach at your school. Do you not want me teaching at De Xing anymore?"
.....(a few seconds of silence)..."Yes."
Excuse me? I started to laugh. Then Coco said, "Stop laughing. Why are you laughing."
So I explained it again to make sure she understood exactly what I was saying.
"Do you not want me to teach anymore at De Xing?"
-"Yes".
UGH! either she doesn't want me to teach there anymore or she just doesn't understand. I am going for understanding. But I don't know. I will check tomorrow.
The DVD is burning right now. For those of you that want a copy. Contact me and we will trade info on its shipping. I need to go to bed. Tired.

Posted by Phil at 11:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Classes were mediocre today. My second 4th grade class has these two kids that have got major class disruption issues. The skinny one does it for attention I think and the fat one with the shaved head just has a screw loose. As class started the fat kid was missing but his stuff was at his desk. I asked Lucy where he was. "He's outside being scolded." Aaah, figures. What do you do for a kid in which scolding doesn't work anymore? It just goes in one ear and out the other. What else is there too do?
The fat kid came back in and looked upset a bit, but the next minute he was up and humping his desk. The skinny kid was just getting up while others were speaking and hitting his row mates with his book rolled up. "Do you not see me staring straight at you."
At one point, the fat kid walked to the front of the class and pulled his shirt up and rubbed his nipples. Right in the middle of class. aiya.
The first 6th grade class was a pain as well. Anna wasn't regulating at all because she had missed the morning classes due to a doctor's appointment so she had to make up a 3rd grade class. So, I got some troublemakers. I tried to use their negative energies and use them for a group activity, which worked, but once that was over, the went off to disrupting others. Oh, one kid had these black and white shiny rocks used to play some chinese board game. A bunch of the boys were throwing them around the room at each other. So, I confiscated them and gave them to Anna during the break.
The second 6th grade class was fabulous. No problems at all. Excpet for a boy putting eraser fragments in Cagny's hair. I made it a priority when starting teaching here to stand up for the kids that get picked on alot because I used to get picked on and I could never understand why the teachers never did anything to the students they knew were being bad and harassing the good kids. I want to be like Morgan Freeman in "Stand By Me", the HNIC. I want to expel all the bad kids...and drug dealers/users. Cause there are so many drug addicts in my school.
For Kindergarten, the most eventful thing I did was play London Bridge is Falling Down with them. However, they said it like this, "Rondon Bridge is Farring Down..." It was pretty funny.
I had a private reciprical lesson with Daisy and her mom today. I swear, the little girl continues to amaze me. She sat on the table next to her mom holding the flash cards for me, talking to her mom in Cantonese, then saying the Flashcard contents in Mandarin, then repeating the contentst in almost perfect English. Man. Handslap to the forehead...my forehead. These talking lessons aren't really working. I just don't understand anything they are saying. I need a book that has homework n stuff. That always helped me. Lisa couldn't find any suitable for me. I need to start looking. I am sure there is something out there.
After lessons I came back here to work on some subtitles. Talk about bees pissing off an elephant. Here is the best description of the DVD Studio Pro Editor I can come up with, its an AIM conversation:

Me: the subtitle editor in DVD Studio Pro 3 is a little bitch.
E: so treat it like one
Me: i do, i yell at it n stuff.. i smack it too...but it doesn't fuckin learn...just like a little bitch.
E: good, then everything's in order
E: perhaps more grip tape for your pimp stick?
Me: damn yeah!

I also had a very interesting online conversation with Lynn. It started because she needed my help and correction on a translation she did for her friend. We then started to chat about regular stuff, and I asked her what she plans to do when she leaves BOND. Apparently something is going down right now and she's not going to "worry" about it anymore. What she told me was pretty interesting and it will be some time before I will post it. I will give you a clue, its might deal with how foreign teachers are treated in relation to the chinese staff by the leadership.

Well, its time for bed. Goodnite.
lata.

Posted by Phil at 11:36 PM | Permalink

Today, i literally spent most of my day in front of the computer working. I took some time for lunch and running a couple errands. In the evening I spent 2.5 hours with Amy translating the 10 minutes of chinese that makes up the audio track for the Zhongshan News Story I was on. I ate a lot of chocolate today as well since its Easter time. I couldn't find any chocolate bunnies though. Bummer. I like the layout of this DVD, its pretty nice, I think. Other than that,
there really isn't much to say.
Its getting late so I amgoing to bed. Sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 09:47 AM | Permalink

I have been downloading some Ren & Stimpy cartoons lately. So funny. Most of the morning was me trying to clean my room and do things around the house. Yumi and I had plans to have lunch at 130pm at the really good Hunanese resturant. I headed out about 115pm. As I was riding on the back of a motor-taxi down a very busy road, with lots of vehicles as well as people on the road and sidewalks I did a doubletake. We were driving by the DVD shop and supermarket next door when I spotted this 4-5 year old boy with his pants around his ankles, his shirt up to his armpits, pissing on a tree. Not a care in the world. Chinese are proud of the fact that foreigners can't really ever understand their culture. Man...I don't want to understand it. Use a friggin' toilet.
Lunch was good for the most part. They were out of the duck that I wanted, that is sooooo good. And they were also out of this other dish. I asked, "Tell me what you have and then I will decide."
Catherine was giving the BOND foreign teachers a chinese lesson at 730pm today. I could only stay for 45 minutes because I had to go to a lion dance meeting. I can tell that her lessons are gonna be just as much as a joke as Lynn and Doris's. I will explain that after I introduce Ben.
I met Ben. He is a new guy from Australia. He's a few years younger than me, or so it looks. He has light brown hair and blue eyes, I think. From the 45 minutes I spent with him, he is a nice guy so far. I asked him where he was staying and he said with Bill. Ah yes, the room where English Phil stayed for three days. I told him to beware of Bill. He gets upset with BOND, which everyone has their right to do because, i mean face it, if you don't get upset with BOND, you're retarded. (Speaking of which, Toby had his bag stolen today. I guess there is no honor among thieves.) But Bill has a tendency to get hardcore into his hatreds and it makes others around him feel terrible. Especially if Ben is new, he will already be demoralized from all the horrendous surprises that BOND laid in store for him, the last thing he needs is a crazy 60+ year old hairy man telling him horror stories. I learned to steer clear of him awhile ago. Why he came back, I have no clue. The guy is a crazy, hairy man. I'm talking "Robin Williams" hairy. I'm talking body hair, mostly back and shoulder, coming out the collar of his shirt. Too bad he doesn't have someone shaving his body hair like the father in "Malcolm in the Middle" - that show ruled!
Back to the joke of chinese lessons. BOND on entering China gave us a "Useful Phrases for Foreign Teachers" booklet which has 4-5 pages of very basic chinese phrases, verbs, and nouns. For some reason they felt that this booklet would help us, except they didn't bother to get anyone to explain the tones and pronunciation. I was told by The Big Boss Man that Chinese lessons would be offered. How much bitchin' did it take, mostly on my part, to get lessons? About four months. First lesson was on Dec 17th. So, I had this packet for 4 months with no instruction on it. Sure, I was given offers to teach me Putonghua by other people I had met, but since they are all chinese, nothing ever happened on their end. I was all for it. But..alas...
So, the chinese lessons we had been offered has pretty much been "Lets go over the sheet." While going over it, they would show us the tones for each word. They didnt bother to do the basics of the language until we demanded they do it. Things like, the pinyin alphabet, phonetics, tone work, confusing areas and such. And this is supposed to be a friggin' Language Institute. So, our first lesson with Catherine started out like this. "OK! Lets go over the sheet." I immediately say, "Aaaaw, Hell no! You are teaching us everything from the start. Alphabet, tones, all the basics." The response: Well, I can teach you them while going over the packet.
My retort: No, you can't. I have been in China over 6 months and I have had this packet and other on my own practice of the language and I still have trouble. Poor Ben here has been in China 3 days with no previous experience in Chinese language at all.
Catherine said, "He was speaking to me in Chinese earlier."
Ben responded, "I was asking you how to say, 'Thank you', 'Goodbye', and 'Hello'."
Catherine was like, "Ok, what do you want to learn."
You're the teacher, Lady. Its sad when one of your students directs you on what to teach. After 5 minutes of her going thru the alphabet with Ben, she ignored me, she said, "Ok, lets go over the packet."
NO! Fuck the packet. We ain't doing that right now. Ben did not learn the basics of Chinese in 5 minutes!
UGH!
I left. I had to go to a Lion Dance meeting this evening. I didn't understand the 30 minute lecture, but I goofed around with the wunderkinded. One of them had gas so he was making humorous Qigong movements while he passed gas. Then we would hit him. After the meeting was over, I was chatting with a couple of the kids that try to speak english, they all have the ability, they are just too chinese...i mean...too scared to actually try. No one really told me what the meeting was about. But the end of it was about passing out of money. Everyone who performed for New Years was given money. I got 80RMB for my participation in the few events. Kool. Totally not expected, but nice.
Interesting night.
Happy Easter all.

Posted by Phil at 10:48 PM | Permalink

I got alot done. I pretty much finished the editing of the movie. I hooked the computer up to the TV to use it as a monitor to check sound and color levels. It always happens, I spend so much looking at washed out and dim colors on the computer while editing that I forget that it looks crisp and clean on the TV. I am always amazed when I see it on TV. I am cramming alot onto this DVD. I had to cut out a bunch of stuff I would have liked to keep, but oh well. I could have made another disc, but then I would have had 3 discs. I have a second one that has the performances from the Chinese New Year that I did and was a part of.
Whoever wants a DVD, they will be done the end of March/early April. Prolly won't get to the states until mid-April.
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:00 PM | Permalink

Nothing bad happened today, I just felt like that was a pretty good title. giggle. In the words of Dr. Dre, "Today was a good day." It started out pretty normal. Getting up, going to school. Today was my long school day. 4th, then 3rd, then 4th, then lunch, then two 3rd classes, followed by kindergarten. I had no troubles, well, not many with the kids. The second 4th grade class was a little unruly because Coco wasn't there to bust heads and break legs. So, I had to use my beating stick. I know what you are thinking, don't worry, I don't beat my students. When they are really loud, I just take the stick and wail it on my little desk a couple times and it gets their attention. There is an equation to this as well. The length of time they pay attention to me after I smack the stick is directly proportional to the loudness and duration of the smacking of the stick. I learned this trick in fourth grade from my teacher Mrs. Mousseau who was the tallest female teacher I ever had, yet she had the softest voice. She sounded like Officer Jan Hooks from the Police Academy series, only my teacher wasn't small, black, or have a loud shout in her.
If individual kids aren't paying attention either and talking to someone behind them or next to them, I will sneak up and wail on their desktop scaring the crap out of them. It ruelz and makes all the other kids giggle. Perfect. They usually pay attention after that for about 3 minutes, then off to not paying attention. Oh well.
During lunch i watched the movie "Saw" while eating. It was a pretty good indie film, except the acting was wretched. Everything else was good.
Kindergarten was pretty good. I was getting to be really tired during that class from all the kiddiness around. I was teaching emotions, Happy, Sad, Excited, Angry, Tired, and Love. While I was instructing the kids, I discovered that two of the little girls are going to grow up to be closet case lesbians. When I drew the picture for love and the hand motion of hugging someone, they hugged each other and kissed. NO KISSING! Lynn was crying she was laughing so hard and the two little girls were giggling. Aiya.
Afterwards I went to grab some grub and buy light bulbs for my shandelier in my room. Then I headed over to Daisy's house for a chinese lesson. It was quite humorous. Daisy was sitting on the table looking over some chinese characters with her mom. I was surprised she was back already becuause she has a piano lesson that ends at 6pm, but apparently she wasn't able to make it because she had a singing lesson. Thats alot of stuff for a 4 year old. While Lisa was getting things together to teach me, Daisy was instructing me on character pronunciation. Every once in a while Daisy would get something wrong and Lisa would shout the correction from the kitchen. Daisy would then laugh.
We started going thru stuff. They used my flash cards that I use for my lessons and went thru the chinese on them. They wrote down the characters and the pinyin. It was very interesting here, becuase the Grandfather was writing the stuff out and he kept gettin all the tones wrong on the words, Lisa would then scold him playfully, and I even had to correct Lisa and Grandfather on spelling once. I found this really funny. Here is a man that is in his late 60s and he doesn't know the correct tones of chinese. It makes me reallly wonder how important they are after that.
Afterwards I went to Lion Dance practice. It was good. Learned some new stuff. And I finally got my News Story DVD! YES! This is going on the DVD. ROCK!
Came home and time for beddy. GOodnite.

Posted by Phil at 04:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today is my easiest schoolday. I have four classes. One 3rd grade and two 5th grades, plus one kindergarten class. What made it so tiring is that I was riding my bike everywhere, carrying the guitar, and teaching lots of little kids. What really got to me was that today was the day that I started doing a private lesson for Daisy in return I recieve free chinese lessons from Daisy mother and gradfather. It was good teaching her, but its hard to plan with her, she learns so quickly and retains the info.
The chinese lesson was tuff because we were just looking out of that Chinese book that John gave me before he left. No matter how good it is, its tuff to just try and learn by reading that. We spent some time doing that and I just didn't feel good about it. I know I won't retain any of this stuff. About halfway thru I say, that this wasn't the right way to go about it. It was boring and tiring. So, we tried doing where they just speak to me mostly in Chinese the way I just speak english with Daisy. It forces me to practice and say things. Which is good, but of course I need to use english to find out things. I can see problems with this that its not structured. Probably a cross between the book, the speaking, and flashcards will be the best way. The offered to teach me Tuesday - Saturday, I could come over and just speak with them for 1 hour after my lessons are done at 530pm. I will teach Daisy on Tuesday and Thursday.
I told them last night that once Daisy gets into Primary school and gets older that they will need to be the ones to continue teaching her English. The primary schools just suck in the way they teach english. For one, they chinese teachers who barely know english teaching the class and the kids have no reason outside the class to use English. So Daisy must practice with her folks if she wants to continue. And her level is so high right now. Her mom has taught her alot. Super smart that girl.
After lessons were over, I was super tired and super hungry. So I went to this noodle shop that I was just taken too the night John left. The food is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo friigggggin good! Whenever and whatever I eat there feels like a koala bear just crapped a rainbow in my mouth. The food is fantastic. I ordered this one dish that just tastes soo good. I have gone there 4 days in a row. Not because I really went out of my way to do so, it just happens its right around the corner from my schools, so...yummy. When I found this dish that is just sooo good, I don't know why I should even bother to try and lose this weight I have been packing on, because this food is just toooooo good that I won't want to eat anywhere else. My will power has met its match.
I headed home and fooled with the guitar.
Another good note, Bob K., friend from Highschool and College, located my Friendster Page (Hypotenus Love Triangle) and contacted me. We had lost contact somewhere along the way. It was great to talk to him again. He's bought a house and living somewhere in Texas with his ladyfriend of 2 years. Killer.
Well, time for beddy-poo. Later.

Posted by Phil at 07:33 PM | Permalink

Still haven't changed. Oh well.
Most of today was normal.
The most special thing I did today was getting Garage Band working again. For some reason, on a previous Security Update or something for my OS, my Garage Band Application got corrupted. Damnit. Why did my computer get nailed. I don't know. Of course, I only found out about this when I needed it. I re-installed and got it backed up. Now, why do you think that is so special? Because now, I can plug my new Cock-Rock guitars into my computer and use it as a mixing board/amplifier. I can also record and make my own brand of cockrock. It totally ownz, dude. I spent all lunchtime just jamming away on my guitar. It was neato.
I headed out to Lion Dance practice and it was cancelled tonite due to some big function at the Elementary School down the street. Aiya! So, I headed home again. Someone bought "Finding Neverland" Sweet! I wanted to see this. So I watched it...pretty good. Johnny Depp is still one of the best actors around.
Time for bed. Later folks.

Posted by Phil at 03:55 PM | Permalink

The weather today was very interesting. It was sunny and humid this morning. During lunch it poured rain for about 15 minutes. The sun came back out and dried all the water out, pretty much, then it got humid from doing so. By the time I was back in class, a nice firm wind was blowing around and it was very sunny. By the time I got to Kindergarten, it had gotten cloudy again and looked as though it promised rain. But it didn't rain. Very interesting.
Lets see, my bike already started falling apart. The brakes that I had them tightened yesterday loosened up and the reflector fell off so I took it back for a quick repair. For kindergarten I took in my guitar and tried to use that to help the kids learn the colors. Its really hard for these 2-4 year olds. most of them don't even know how to say the words in chinese. I thought the kids would really like it as well. Well, they did like it, however, they paid more attention to me than they did the teaching exercise. They just stared at me. Uh...this isn't working. Crap. Maybe they just need to get used to it. Also, something else wierd is going on. I am totally comfortable in front of the kids, so you would think that I would be able to play the guitar like I do when I am alone at home, but nope, I constantly kept making mistakes on whatever I played. Whats going on here? Hmm.....poop.
During lunch I pretty much finished my Final Cut Pro work on the movie. I am still waiting on that TV Interview footage. If i don't get it by the end of the week, I am gonna complete the movie and finish it up. Its gonna have subtitles on this one. There is too much chinese not to put it on.

Posted by Phil at 06:53 PM | Permalink

Basically the day started off and proceeded like my normal Mondays lately. I did alot of DVD work. Got alot done. Around 2pm I went shopping for a bike. I found a place down the street. They were trying to sell me the most expensive things. I mean, these bikes were all pimped out and hitech. I doubt they ever sell them. There was one for 800RMB. All bikes in China are hunks of crap, so why waste your money. Even the most expensive bike will have something break the day after you buy it. I was looking at a few other bikes and the shop people were saying, "No good no good." If its no good why are you desecrating your shop by stocking it? I picked out a bike that would be decent. It sorta looks like the old bike, just not as fancy. It doesn't have the shocks and it doesn't really stand out. It was 338RMB and 25RMB for a lock. I didn't want to go above 300RMB so i was trying to get it for 270RMB, but she wouldn't go below 320. So I jetted.
Later on, I asked Megan if she would be willing to go when she was free. I was in no rush. She said now, so we went. We got to a different shop and I found pretty much the same bike. The staff also pointed out the same other bikes that were way expensive and crappy. I picked out the bike and said OK, I then allowed Megan to work her magic. Its funny how I am the one doing the searching and interacting and she stays back in the corner and then when it comes time for money issues, she takes over and I go back into the corner. Its really bizarre. Chinese culture, though, has the women as the ones who take care of the money. The guys do all the manual stuff, fixing, etc, the women take care of the money. And boy, the talons come out when they are negotiating. Jolene and Megan are really vicious whereas Amy is really nice. Its really funny to see go down. The will be negotiating and fighting over price and it gets pretty intense sometimes and then when its over, they are all nice to each other. Its a saving face issue. Its an art. Megan wanted to get less than 300RMB and they wouldn't do it, so she motioned for us to leave. As we were walking away I said 300RMB is OK, so we went back and picked it up. They took care of last minute tune ups including tightening the brakes and straighting the spokes. Ugh. Just make something that works to begin with!
I rode home while she sat on the carrying thing over the back wheel. Thats how the chinese get around. And of course, I was hauling down the street and people were all staring at us. "whaaaaaa!?". I did more computer work.
I went to practice tonite, but I got there and no one was doing anything and barely anyone was there. Screw this, I have more important things to waste my time on. So I took off.
Came home and worked alot more on things.

Posted by Phil at 06:53 PM | Permalink

Today was my first private lesson with Daisy at 9am. I will teach her for 1 hour and then her mom, Lisa, will teach me Putonghua. A trade off. The first day I spent pretty much prying Daisy's brain to find out more of what she knows. And I went thru with Lisa a crash course so she could figure out what I know.
After class I headed back to the house. The rest of the day Yumi and I went to Shiqi to a couple parks she has never been too. It was nice. That was most of the day.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 09:59 AM | Permalink

Today was a long interesting one. I got up for Putonghua lessons at the BOND office at 10AM. Doris was running this lesson. I was the only one since New John came in 1 hour late thinkin it was at 11am. Silly irishman. Basically the lesson consisted of me practicing the tones of nouns of things you find in a house or apartment and what to say when they break...since they do constantly. Most of the time was spent just practicing the tones and not much time for reveiw. Doris kept yelling at me about the tones. At least with Lynn I could hear the tones when she spoke, with Doris, its miniscule. The only time I was able to get the tones with any sort of accuracy was when I impersonated a chinese opera singer say the words, so it sounded very high pitched and unbearably annoying, and quite funny.
After class I headed out to lunch with Damon, New John, Owen, and a couple others. I reminded them about Peter's gathering. From there I headed home.
I had class at 3pm with Daisy and Violet showed up late again. Jack was there today as well as this other kid that has never had much english outside of a couple words. "Owen, why is this child in this class? He has no experience, these other kids know alot more and this kid will be confused and left behind."
"It doesn't matter...he is here to see if he likes it."
Really? Is BOND gonna rip him off as well? Class went really well. I taught, "How much is this? It costs ... dollars".
When class ended at 345pm I had to scamper off because I had to meet Nick and Megan at the bus stop to go to Shiqi. We needed to go to Justco to pick up some foodstuffs for the party tonite and for personal reasons. After going to Justco, we got out of there in record time, we headed over to the guitar shop to finally purchase those guitars I have had my eye on. While I was in HK, I went to the Tom Lee music stores and realized how much I miss shredding up Van Halen tunes and rocking out on Crazy Train. I knew I needed to get those things now. So, i went in there to see what I wanted to do. I wanted the total cock-rock Randy Rhodes Leopard print body guitar, no question on that. Thats a no brainer. But then I had to decide on the archtop/hollow-body or the Les Paul. I decided on the Les Paul. It plays wonderfully and I realized that the archtop is just too small for my tastes and it didn't play all that well when I was there. So i got the Les Paul...which plays wonderfully. I also got a small amp...about 7 inches tall and 7 inches wide. Its this cute little thing that is run off a 9-Volt battery. Its killer. Once I had decided on everything, it came Megan's turn to deliberate the price. It was originally 2550 RMB, but I know that stuff ain't worth near that amount. Megan was able, after about 15 minutes, to get them down to 2000. Damn. She is good. As we left she said she felt she could get a little more off, but prolly not much and it would have taken much longer. What an awesome deal. The place said I have free repairs for 1 month...um...uh oh...thats not a good sign. I assume the first thing to go will be the amp.
We then tried to get a taxi back because Nick said it would be hard to catch the bus at this time. Alrite. This proved to be hard. All the taxis wanted 60RMB, when 40 is usual. For about 3 cars, we were standing there and the driver said that because we were foreigners, then we should pay the full amount. This sent Megan in a rage, she yelled at him pretty good. So, on the next taxi, Nick and I decided to hide around the corner. Megan negotiated a taxi down to 40RMB, then as she waved us out, the taxi driver got pissed and drove off. LOL! Awesome! After a while we finally decided for 50RMB. We had gone thru about 8 taxis. 4 of them we were trying for 50RMB. Finally one relented. We thru the stuff in the trunk and took off. I had to direct him thru Xiaolan because he didnt know where he was going and Nick didn't really know from the highway.
We got back to the house and fired up the grill. Folks showed up and apparently it was Ash's bday on Monday. Cool, a party for two folks. Somehow we ended up with 2 cakes. So Ash gone and so did Peter. We all hung out for a while. I popped in Return of the Jedi for a little kid at the party. He seemed to be engrossed in it at times. But his attention span was quite short. He was only 3.5 years old. At one point, he was clutching a bacardi breezer that was his mom's. He was trying to take a sip, so I pulled it from his hands. HIs mother was clueless and so was Echo. "What are you doing? That's his mothers!"
"He is trying to drink it."
-"So what? Its his mothers!"
"Its alcohol! F-ing A!
-"Oh..."
The rest of the gathering was relaxing. I was super tired and passed out.

Posted by Phil at 09:25 AM | Permalink

The morning classes fine this morning. I made two kids stand up in front of the class in horse stance while they had their fists out with chalk placed on their wrists. If they break the chalk, they will get in more trouble. One did break the chalk...i didnt expect it...so, I just made him sit there longer. During lunch time I headed to the BOND office to meet with Katherine. As I walk thru the gate, Lynn comes running up and shouting my name. Apparently Katherine switched and Lynn was the one gonna go to the police station with me to make a statement and fill out some forms about the stolen bike. Lynn has more experience with this. The first week Robert was here, he had his bag stolen at the supermarket and they had to go. So we go to the Police Station.
We get there and walk up the back stairs into the office areas. We go to the desk and chat with a couple people. Then a guy comes out later with some forms and we start filling them out with him. Lynn was my interpretter. All the while we were filling out forms another police officer was going thru photos of crime scenes on the computer not more than 5 feet away from me, with the monitor in our direction. I had plain view of all the real crime scene photos. Blood and everything. Lynn would gag everytime a foto with blood would come up. Why she didn't tell them to change the direction of the monitor beats me. I was strangely interested. Its weird that these are fotos from stuff in Xiaolan, yet I have never seen this stuff. Which is good I guess. If you cannot deal with graphic descriptions, best not to read on...skip a couple paragraphs.
One set of fotos that he was looking at dealt with an altercation on the road or sidewalk: fotos with pool, and I mean a pool of blood on the cement sidewalk, a man laying limp on his side - almost in the fetal position but spread out - on the sidewalk or road or whatever, the sides of a man and a woman's face bloodied and with a 1 or 2 cuts with a few first aid bandages covering the serious wounds, and a what looked like a very large pocket knife..I dont know the exact size, but it was a fold out knife of some kind. Another set dealt with another incident that took place in a restaurant: there were fotos of a private room, the chairs were in disarray, food was messed all over the table, glasses were shattered on the floor, there was blood all over the room, on the floor, the table, chairs, shattered glasses, and on the external air conditioning unit (the AC units in the country are big things like the size of a tall thin refridgerator) - it looked like a drunken karaoke party gone awry horribly horribly awry. However the fotos that really made me cringe and tell Lynn not to look up was a set that took place at an apartment complex. Someone had brutally carved up a baby while he was sleeping. The blood looked fresh as well. The baby was in the fotos, his eyes half open, and blood covered him as well as the white bed sheet covers. It was terrible and the Police Officer kept zooming in on the fotos. Ugh, I hope they have the murderer in custody. I can come to my own obvious conclusions about what happened at some of the scenes.
At one point when he first started looking at fotos, i just saw a bit of blood and some guys face bloodied up. I asked Lynn to ask what happened, she did, and there was no response. After the dead silence is when the first foto of the man lying on his side popped up. Gotcha. So, we continued on with the forms.
They sure wanted alot of information on there. More so then necessary since they will never find the bike or look for it. They guy looking at crime scene fotos said I would be super lucky if they ever found it. Duh. Its china...do you actually think you could find one stolen bike in this place? Its like a needle in a haystack. I then asked Lynn if they were packing any weapons. Just curious if the office staff was packing. They said no and that they didn't need any. "It's not like the US where guns are easy to get." I was like, you can't tell me there is no illegal gun trade in China. If a criminal wants a guy, he will find one. So I was all like, "What if a terminator or some psycho walks in and starts shooting the place up, like in all those movies. They would be so out of luck and couldn't stand a chance." They said that there was another guy in another room who was packing heat. So, I kept on harping on it to Lynn, and she could do nothing but laugh. I also was asking her to ask bizarre questions, like if the chinese police would allow a foreigner to join the force to help deal with the english issues in large cities. Lynn said they wouldn't do it because there was no way that a foreigner could understand their laws. "Ok, there you go with the cultural arrogance again. You don't believe I could tell a crime from a non-crime? I mean, if a dude steals your bag, thats pretty much illegal in any country...except Mexico." "Really? Thats legal in Mexico?".....
The last part of form filling out dealt with Lynn translating all of the questions that he just asked her and she asked me, but I needed to write something down to say that she explained everything to me and that it was the truth. I was all like, "Dude, its the truth from my point of view. The gym may have a different view as well as the criminal." It took me about 5 minutes to understand what she meant. I thought she was saying to write down everything she was reading. Confusion. But I got it done. And then I had to sign my name about 8x and fingerprint every signature and every scratchmark i made while I was trying to understand what Lynn was babbling about.
As we were about to leave I noticed Lynn and the cop filling out the form were flirting a bit. So i started to tell her to ask him out and she started blushing. I was like, "ask him on a date? are you single, go for it, you are hot, he is attractive, do it!" She would then elbow me. On the way down the stairs the police stopped us. They wanted to give me a ride home. What? Lynn said they wanted to give me a ride home. Apparently they don't do this for everyone that comes in with a stolen bike report. Lynn said I was special. I was just like...no they are just being nice and trying to gain face in front of a foreigner. She was like, "exactly. If it were just me, they wouldn't care." I told them only if Lynn comes because I was afraid the cops would take me to the jail cells and give me a body cavity search. So she came along.
They took us to the police van, which I was hoping was gonna be a Paddy wagon, but it was just a van like the BOND van. They ran the sirens off a couple times and I got all giddy. The driver along with the officer looking at crime scene fotos were the only police with us. I asked them about what martial arts they learned. Lynn interpretted. They said that most of the police officers had served 2-4 years in the Chinese Army before becoming Police officers. He said they trained for 4 years in Xanda (Muay Thai Kickboxing) and I asked where they do it now. The guy said Yongning in the xanda school affliated with my teacher, Guo Sifu. BADASS! I got home and I had an hour before I had to be back at class.
Class this afternoon went really well. I was super tired after classes were finally fhinished. Goodnite

Posted by Phil at 01:33 PM | Permalink

The punkass smashed the lock and made off with it. I was at the gym and I locked it up with the chain that they provide. I tried to get them to pay for a bit of it, seeing as it was some of their fault, and of course they wouldn't. Mountain said we will call the police. Like that is gonna do anything. The police don't care nor will do a thing. I plan to go to the police station with my "assistant" after kindergarten.
I was thinking...In the 26.45 years that I have spent on this planet, the first ~25.85 years the only thing ever stolen from me, to my knowlegde, was when George Gorno stole my Smashing Pumpkins "Saiamese Dream" album from me during 11th grade Band Camp. Why? I don't know.
I get to China, and within the first 6 months I have had my cellfone and bike stolen.
fuckin' chinese.

Third grade went ok today.

(I wrote a bunch of stuff here during breaks between classes at the school, but because of the Great "Fire" Wall, the internet decided to not work while I was trying to upload. Fantastic. I don't know how much I can remember, but I will try.)

From the gym I hopped a bike taxi home. For some reason the bike guys always try to rip me off. They are like, 4RMB, I laugh at them and say, 3RMB and sometimes I they start to argue and sometimes they don't. One guy today started to argue before I got on his bike. I said, "Gong Qiao Lu, he was like sure, 4 RMB, I was like 3RMB. Totally two face, this guy got all pissy, so I returned it and argued back with him and then walked away. Got another dude and took him to the house. He said 4RMB like he was trying for it, I smiled and said no, 3RMB. He shook his head and giggled. Personally 3-4 RMB, its not really anyting, but as Captain Kirk said referring to the Klingons, "Give them a hand and they will take the arm." If you start succumbing to give 4RMB, all of them will start doing that and then it just begins to add up and what not. Why do I always feel chinese people are always out to rip me off? Oh, because most are.
I got in and then told some friends online about my bike being stolen. Garrett tried to cheer me up by sending me a copy of the ultimate Steven Seagal comeback movie that one of his friends wrote a script for the other day. Just the intro of the email ruled. I am curious to see how totally awful the script is. But the question I have is this, "Has Steven Seagal ever really disappeared? Has he? I don't believe so. He has always been with us in one way or another." Here is the email intro:

Birthed from the combined loins of my friend Ryan
and Myself comes "The Greatest Untitled Steven
Seagal Comeback Film Ever."

We wrote this Direct to Video script in a weekend and
spent the last month polishing it up.

We want suggestions of all kinds, (Better One-Liners,
a title, location names, characters, etc.) Remember,
if you give us a good line, Steven might just
eventually speak it before crushing some puke's face.

So enjoy, but read carefully because even on the page,
Seagal can snap your neck.

Dan

I plan to read this later on tonite. I will let you know how it is.
The rest of the day went surprisingly well considering what happened to me today. Today turned out to be a gorgeous day weatherwise. Despite the high humidity, that caused all the tile and wood paneling to be all slippery n stuff (ie the gym exercise floor that was as slipper as ice as I was practicing forms), it was almost perfect. Sun was shining, it was cool but also warm with a slight breeze. For some reason, on my walk to school, I felt good and I was encountering nice chinese folk, like a couple teachers, one let me hop on the back of his scooter, some students waving to me, and the little shop lady. Its nice to see that every once in awhile. It helps make this country bearable. For all the bitchin' and complainin' I do about the chinese, there are some very great and wonderful people here. I know reading my journal entries, you may get a sense that I hate all chinese, well... not ALL chinese. I talk about them in my entries, but of course, negativity is easier to remember and more interesting then positivity. Thanks to all the news programs. I have met some wonderful folks: my kindergarterns, my 3rd-5th graders, most of the 6th graders refuse to talk to me when they aren't trying to make fun of my foreigness, except for a couple. Most of the folks I have met on my Beijing and Kunming trips have been wonderful and kind. Guo Sifu is amazing to me as well as most of the kids at the Yongning Studio. And even the Xiaolan BOND staff can be wonderful. I know I complain alot about them, but they do alot for us. I love to hang out with them outside work, they help out with interpretting things and what not and helping me out in a jam, but once they get into the work frame of mind, its like they change and there is nothing more you want to do than straggle them. I don't know how many times I have wanted to destroy Lynn, but then we chat after work and I don't have that desire. Its really creepy. Something in the chinese collective unconsciousness.
Back from the rant. I got into the school. I mentioned to Anna and Coco that my bike was stolen and they both laughed. "I'm glad you find this funny." I was pretty pissed. Anna said, "My mom had 2 bikes stolen." Coco then topped her with, "My daughter Michelle has stolen 4 bikes." I was all, "Wait a tick, did you just say that your daughter stole 4 bikes?" Coco said, matter of factly while holding up her fingers and very proud of herself as she said it, "Yes. She stole 4 bikes." I caught her mistake and played with it, "How could you allow her to do such a thing. Thats terrible." Coco was then confused. I then brought it to her attention and she giggled. Then said, "Yes, my daughter had 4 bikes stolen from her." I was then all like, "Why would chinese people steal from other chinese. I mean, you guys are all comrades interested in the common good, correct? (she laughed when I said 'comrades'I mean, isn't this system set up so people are the same, in essence abolishing the whole need to steal from each other?" This part totally went over her head. "Huh?" Nevermind.
On the way to class with Ivy, I asked her, "Why do they steal?" She was like, "they aren't Xiaolan people, they are poor people from other provinces that come here. They have no job so they steal and sell the bike to make money." Of coures, to get this out of her, it took about 5 minutes because she wasn't understanding what I was asking her, 'why do they steal'. Anywho I got to the 5th grade classes and they were great. These are the 5th graders that I really like. They are very good and participate well. They seem to like everything I do. Ivy also has them trained well. Everytime I say good afternoon, they stand up all at once and say "Good afternoon, Phir." Its kinda creepy and cute at the same time. My eyes always bulge out when I see that. So, classes went really well. Made the kids laught a lot. Ivy cracked up a lot as well. There is one boy in my first 5th grade class that sits in the front next to the smartest girl in class. He constantly falls asleep and I always slap his desk to wake him up and Ivy has smacked him in the head as many times. One of the punishments he gets from Ivy is standing up during class. Well, anyways, I was going thru and acting out words with "a" in them, such as: cat, fat, cap, and nap. So when I got to nap, he was sleeping, so I pointed at him. The class began to giggle, then the smart girl elbowed him and he woke up looked around, saw kids giggling, and saw me pointing at him so he instinctively stood up. The class, Ivy and me lost it while he stood there clueless. It was great. You had to be there I guess.
After class I had a break before kindergarten so I decided to type up some stuff online. I mentioned what happened to that entry earlier. I think I got most of everything that I tried to type up.
Earlier, at the gym I talked to Jolene and Mountain and they both said I need to talk to the police. Duh. So, I told Jolene on the fone that I would be completely free after kindergarten to go to the police office. She said, OK. She called me after I had gone home to get cleaned up. She told me that Katherine would be my assistant and then go with me to the Police HQ to talk about it. I said, OK. Comes time for kindergarten and Katherine still hadn't shown up, she is 7 minutes late. So I called the office to find out where my assistant is. Katherine answers the fone. I am like, "Um...you know you are late." She was like, "Huh? I need to get some info from you about the bike." I was like, "yeah, we can do that after class, right now you are supposed to be here." I turn around and there was Jolene. Great communication skills. Then Katherine proceeded to tell me, "Well, we can't go to the police station after 530pm. Its closed." But what happens if there is a murder? Do they take care of it the next day? ;-) (rim shot goes off in the backround)
Kath - "Huh? I need some info on your situation."
Me - "Can it wait till after class is over, I should be teaching right now, the class is waiting."
Kath - "What kind of bike was it, describe it. Where was it stolen and what time?"
So I gave her a quick run down. Of it and hung up. Class with the 2-4 years was ok. There was this one girl that was completely afraid of me. She was new I think. She was wearing a sweatshirt with pockets and had her hands permanently fused in them and would not shake my hand. When I got close to her, her face would crinkle up. Sorry. Then later on in class, after the bathroom break, one of the boys was pushing a girl in the face so I scolded him and pulled his chair into the middle of the class circle. He tried to scoot his chair back to his spot, but I put my foot down on the brace of the chair and he kept trying to scoot the chair back, but it wasn't moving anywhere. Jolene could do nothing but giggle. Then the water works began. The chinese teacher then started saying stuff to him and sat him back.
Throughout the kindergarten that was mostly about 45 minutes because of Jolene's lateness and Katherine's questions, Jolene was there for about half the time. The rest of the time she spent on her cellfone dealing with things that could have been taken care after class. Of course, while she was jabbering, she was no where to be found, and I needed her interpretting. I can understand why Peter had started taking Jolene's fone away during his classes last semester. I will do that if she is my assistant again.
As class ended, she wasn't around, so I just left without her. As I was about to walk home, Jolene came rushing to me...here here wait wait, talk to Katherine. So, I talked with Katherine and we decided to meet tomorrow at 12pm to go to the Police HQ. But won't the officers be off taking a nap like the rest of the city? I then headed home.
Ok, I read the Steven Seagal script. Funny, but a it was a waste of time. I could picture the movie in my head, but it was still just a crappy Seagal movie. Tony Jaa is in it. A new Thai fella that did a new action move called Ong Bak, which was just ok, but he is pretty amazing. This movie would be just like all his other flicks, nothing comeback about it. Unless, thats the whole point. Anywho, its late. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:55 PM | Permalink

Whoever said "There are no such things as bad students, just bad teachers" is friggin' retarded. When I teach 6th grade on Wednesdays I have to deal with two things that are different from grades k-5th:
1. Puberty
2. The children have been cultivated into full grown chinese people.
I take that into account when I plan lessons. However, nothing works. These kids are horrible.
Food for thought.

Posted by Phil at 03:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

First two classes went well this morning. I have been trying to go back to the gym since the beginning of March. For some reason, I can't go. Its cold outside and that is a huge deterent to go out to the gym because I know its just as cold inside the gym as it is outside and in my room. I don't know if its a body thing, not wanting to exercise and do strenuous activity in the cold or what, but it sure feels like it. I make the decision to go to the gym and when it comes to the time to go, I have no desire to go. I don't get it.
All the good students in my 6th grade classes were gone during the afternoon for some Chinese Language thingy. There was less kids in the class, so that seemed to help as well. The first class, I was trying to get the students involved and no one would participate because of their chinese cuture and I got angry with them. They make more of a scene refusing to go up to the front of the class than they would if they just went to the front of class and participated. Its a strange phenomenom. So at one point, this girl wouldn't go up and join her classmates so I sat on a desk and stared them all down. Anna spoke to them for a minute and there was more silence. I then started teaching again, and everyone participated, however, no one would join in any activities. Kindergarten went ok as well. I had the 2-4 year olds today.
Spent the rest of the nite doing video work.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 12:02 PM | Permalink

I spent all day today video editing and uploading footage to my computer. I also bought some Nestle Vanilla Ice Cream. OMG! Its sooooo good. Ice cream.
On my way out to the 1+1 store, I noticed Phil was at our place. He was doing something with Maria, so I figured he was moving in and going to ShiQi for VISA stuff. However, on my way back, I asked, "You moving in?" He was like, no man. I am leaving. Really? Good luck man. He was totally of the mind set..."Screw BOND." He said he spent last nite, in bed, with a heater that was broken, wrapped in just a bed sheet, while he was still wearing 3 sweatshirts and pants. It was cold last nite and BOND did nothing to take care of a potential teacher. He hadn't signed a contract yet, even if he did, he would have received the same treatment. Another BOND casualty. And we wonder why chinese people at BOND say, "Why don't you want to stay?"
Get a friggin' clue, jerkoffs.
So anywho. Most of the day was spent doing video work since today was my day off. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:01 AM | Permalink

Spent the whole day shopping around HK. We walked all over Times Square and some surrounding areas. It was nice. I also found two Tom Lee music stores. The first, I had been in before when I was first in HK. It had some nice arch-tops. I so want that Epiphone and that Gretsch. Then at the second one I was amazed at all the guitars. They had a bunch of Gretsches and I fell in love with the gigantic White Falcon...droooool. They also had some badass shredder guitars, gorgeous Gibson guitars. Oh man, I wish I were rich.
We went to the Hong Kong History Museum. That was neat. THey really didn't explain much about the history of HK since the british hand over to the chinese handover. I was expecting a large part of that, yet, all I got was a few sentences saying it was seceded to the british and the chinese handover. (Something that should never have been done).
After that we went to Pizza Hut for dinner. Man. And I thought Pizza Hut was nice in China. In HK, its like a 5 star resturant. Amazing. And the pizza was fantastic. Much better than the US. Wow. Great. It was so worth going to. After that we shopped around lookin at junk. We then got on the ferry and headed back to Zhongshan.
I got back to my place about 1030pm and fooled around with my computer and went to bed.

Posted by Phil at 09:54 AM | Permalink

I got up and got ready for class. It was still abit sticky, but outside, no one had an umbrella. Thats a good sign. No rain. I get to the #1 Middle School to meet Jolene. We have to take a bus to Guzhen this time. And I am being forced to pay. Great. What a crappy way to start the day off. I arrived at the school after a bus ride and a motorbike ride. For 10 minutes, Jolene could not locate the correct room that I would teach in. Once she did, it was locked and it took 15 minutes to find the key and unlock it. All the kids were waiting out in the hallway. A few just stood in front of me staring. "Is there something wrong with your eyes, kid?" Thankfully they didnt start poking me like I have had in the past.
I found out in the first few minutes that Lynn has once again given me wrong information. "The kids had class with Mountain last week. They are on Book 2 and you can start on Unit 2. I get to class and attempt a quick reveiw of Unit 1. The kids only know a few body parts and that's it. Nothing dealing with "Touch your toes" or "touch the rabbits ears" . Fan-fucking-tastic. So, my whole lesson plan was screwed. The children could barely even respond to, "Hello, How are you." How they hell are they on Book 2 Unit 2? I am sick of this. Of course, when I do talk to Lynn, she will just brush it off. I want to punch these people. Jolene didn't really offer me any help. None of the kids would respond to what I was doing. There were a couple kids that were good but the rest of them didn't want to be there. I wanna want to do illegal things to the Bond staff. They helped make this class a horrible experience for me and the children. I had to revert to speaking a bit of chinese in this class to get them to do things. I haven't had to speak it outside of the youngins kindergarten class.
After about 15 minutes of having the lites turned out and making the kids put their heads on their desks for being insolent, i played a game with them that started to get a rise out of them. FInally the three 40 minute classes were over. Ugh. And of course, it was pouring rain outside now. This is the school where Ash teaches and he was teaching at the time. He drove me and Jolene to the bus stop after class on his brand new scooter. He bought it and he doesn't even have a license for it. Oh well. I guess white folk be safe here. The chinese authorities are too afraid to try and speak to a gweilo and lose face than actually enforce the law around here.
I get back to the house and go to sleep. I have class again at 3pm. So I get there on time and Daisy and her mom are already in the classroom. Once I show up, Violet shows up afterward. I guess the rain is keeping Jack and Peter away. So I go thru a quick reveiw with the two of them. They were learning alot and remembered alot. I was very impressed. I was having them do body parts, one would ask, "What do you have?" point to a body part and the other would respond, "I have...." It was good. But they found it tough. Especially elbow. I had reverted to putting points on the board and they were both neck and neck. We had about 1 minute left and we were about to break when I said, "Ok, last one." Daisy got it right and Violet didn't get it right so I gave Daisy a point. I turned around and Violet's water works were going off at full blast. She was crying heavily, breathing heavily, and trying to wipe the tears out. Wholly Crap! I have never received this type of response to the point system. She is sensitive so I had to take care of her. And of course, when I needed help from the Bond staff, my assistant was no where to be found. MFs. During the break, after I calmed Daisy down, I headed to the bakery and bought some cookies, enuff for all of us. That got them excited. The second lesson I had them asking each other, "May I please have..." "Which do you want?" "I want...." Next week I may introduce buying things. I was very impressed.
After class I ran into KFC to grab some quick food. Phil, a new foreign teacher was in there and I sat with him. He is from London and trained with Toby there. I'm sorry fella. Anywho. We chatted a bit and I told him that the actual teaching of students isn't all that bad and this town can be enjoyable, but what you will learn to hate and what will piss you off and turn you off in this place is BOND and they will help ruin whats left of your hopes for China...whats leftover from the people in any sort of business or government position doing that. He said that he is getting a strong negative vibe about BOND. Yup. Thats them. He is stuck in the small closet room in Bill's apartment. Bill is the 60+ year old Australian that keeps coming back here despite his hatred towards BOND. I dont understand that. If you leave, stay gone from them. He's a glutton for punishment. I also warned Phil about Bill's tendency for over-exaggeration and high stress desires. He said he kind of got that impression. I told him to get Bond to let him move into the Big House since we have had a spare room ever since I came in.
I had to run because I had to catch the shuttle bus to the ferry port at 615pm. Yumi and I got to HK no problem and the hotel, King's Hotel, was gorgeous. Its got this Art Deco feel to it and its great cheap. I want to come back here again.

Posted by Phil at 10:20 PM | Permalink

Today was spent mostly teaching and preparing for Rumi's Surprise Party. The weather today was quite warm and muggy. Very sticky. But it was also windy. Quite weird. To begin, my first morning class was cancelled due to something that I have no idea about. But 3rd and 4th grade through out the whole day was great. I had no problems. Wait. no, I am lying...wait, no...thats right, no problems today. During the lunch break, Yumi and I met to go to the Ju Cheng Hotel to get a ferry ticket and a hotel in Hong Kong for saturday nite. We have been wanting to go somewhere together for a while, and this opportunity presented itself after John mentioned that he got a ferry ticket + a place to stay in HK really cheap. She said that this weekend is the best because she is going to be so busy that she doesn't know when we will get a free chance. Koolio. We had a slight problem with checking the 6pm ferry, which would have been ideal because we would get into HK at 8pm and not 10. However, because my school had kept me to themselves last weekend, Bond is making me teach an extra 45 minutes with Daisy and Violet. It won't be over till 430 and the shuttle bus leaves at 415pm. Hey, its not my fault my school volunteered me for their dance so they could score gweilo points on their performance evaluation. Oh well.
We got everything set up and then went and grabbed some lunch at the place where she always goes with her teachers. There sat Rumi and Maiyu, a new japanese teacher. I told Rumi Happy Birthday and she held out her hand and ask..."Present?" giggle. "Oh, I didn't buy you anything. Was I supposed to?" She retracted with a polite "hmph." I need to make her think nothing is going on. Yumi says she has no idea. I met with Maiyu and we talked a bit about Shorinji Kempo - she knows of it and other karate systems, Shaolin Temple (she spent a day there a few years ago), and her husband - however, she consistently referred to him as "wife" by accident. Very humorous. Her husband did Kendo in Japan so I was all like, "DUDE! Is he like, a total samurai and stuff?" She was all, "Shit, yeah, negro." She followed that with a 'raise the roof', snap of the neck and fingers. I said to her, "Hoterru ikanai?" wichi is Japanese for, "Do you want to go to Love Hotel?" Maiyu laffed and Yumi slapped me.
I then headed back to school for my afternoon classes. And again, my second class was canceled because the kids were off getting brainwashed at the local movie theatre. My kindergarten went fantastic. On the way home from class, it had started raining, while I was searching for snacks and presents for Rumi. I went into this one shop that I always walk by but never went into. I walk in and the girl running the store was primping her hair while singing along to really loud canto-crap. She didn't even notice me. Her hair was done up in such a way that she looked like she had stuck her finger into an electric socket. She was wearing a pair of purple tinted sunglasses...while it was raining outside, and some wierd "trendy" chinese clothes. I stood there for about 30 seconds staring at her, then I started to look at some of the clothes, she looked up and jumped in surprise. Apparently, my whiteness added to the shock. "We never get anyone in this store...now I have someone in the store and its a white male. I think I will have a heart attack." I looked around somemore and found a couple things that I was interested in. I finally decided on a pair of pretty kool looking earings that were surprisingly cheap. They weren't a precious metal, but they were neat. I guess they kinda looked like multi-colored fireworks or something. I don't know the best way to describe it at the moment.
I went next door to a "Cute" store and bought a Hello Kitty nightlite. I finally went into the "BIACK IEOPARD" and bought a shirt that is adore with chinese fashion and a spat of chinglish. It ruled. I picked up some snacks and went into the house to set up everything.
Yumi AIMed me and told me that Rumi had made plans with some students to go out at 10pm for her birthday. AIYA! No! Crap. She is supposed to be here at 930pm. I decided that Yumi bring her over at 9pm and then we can have 45 minutes for the surprise part. She didn't want to invite her students over. Yumi then came over and showed up with the cake all worried that the cake had been destroyed. On her way over a motorcycle guy ran into it because he wasn't be courteous. I opened it up to check it and it had shifted about 4 inches on its base. Nothing major, but I didn't want to move it for risking cake base damage. So I left it. Its got Hamtaro and his friend on it. I totally want to knife them.
Yumi left to her place and to convince Rumi to go shopping down by here. People starting showing up at 830pm when I called everyone to tell them that the surprise had moved up to 9pm. It was all good. Everyone was flexible. Then around 830pm, Yumi called to say that Rumi didn't want to go out and that she was too busy getting ready to stop by the house. Great. So, I told her to beg her to come over for 5 minutes for her present that I had ready for her. She hung up and I didnt not hear anything from her until I called her at 9pm asking what was going on. Yumi said they would leave in 10 minutes. Sounds like she will be here at 930pm afterall. Oh well. We all sat around.
Finally at 930pm they showed up. I made everyone sit in the corner opposite the refridgerator behind the doors across from the stairs. Peter had my camera. Unfortunately some jackass turned off the lites so the camera didn't have enuff lite and wouldn't be able to get a decent shot or Rumi's surprise. I opened the door and brought her in and led her to my room where I said I had a present for her. As she walked into the area, everyone jumped out and yelled surprise while Nick and Ash shook up some beer bottles and squirted the hell out of her. Wow. Hilarious. She seemed surprised. She enjoyed the cake. She ended up leaving at about 1030pm and came back around 1130pm.
During the festivities, I heard Toby knocking the USA again. I should just ban that guy from my events. Like England has never made mistakes. He sure isn't blaming Tony Blair for aiding the US. My teeth are clench and I am yelling thru them.
The rest of the nite was great. I ate too much snacks and fell asleep. I have to be up at 650AM for 830AM class tomorrow morning in Guzhen. Fantastic.

Posted by Phil at 09:26 PM | Permalink

So, sometime last week or a 1.5 weeks ago, I came back from a crappy wednesday afternoon 6th grade class. I mentioned my frustration with the kids and Coco mentioned, do you want to try teaching a 2nd grade class. We had discussed this option at the end of last semester. But nothing ever came to fruition. We decided that today was the day I would trade my 6th grade class on wednesday afternoon for a 2nd grade class on thursday morning. Yesterday, I received a bit of a possible crisis when I was asking May about the lessons for 2nd grade. She said "You are teaching 6th grade." No...I am teaching 2nd grade, that was the whole point of switching. So, she let me look at the book.
I got up this morning and headed to class, I picked up some fruit for the lesson and go to the school. Coco immediately told me that I am not teaching 2nd grade but 6th grade. I was all like, "But the whole point of the switch was for me to teach 2nd grade today. Why would I move a 6th grade class to the next day. They will still suck." So Coco and I discussed it for a bit. Ugh. She was the one that mentioned doing the switch, I don't know what went wrong. But May when to ask someone about me teaching for the 6th and the 2nd grade, she came back and said they both classes were taking a test during that period so I don't have to attend either. Ugh. Way to keep on top of things people. So, I sat down at the computer to type this up. Crazy stuff.

Well, the rest of the day was, eh. My 3rd graders today were terrible. My 5th graders were great. Once they got over being chinese, things went well. They really got into it and participated. See, I am doing something right. It ain't me.
I got alot of DVD work completed today. I am going thru editing a bunch of footage. I have so much that I want to cram into 2 hours. I have alot of Lion Dance stuff leading this edition to be heavy on that. I will also send out the Chinese New Year performances I did on a seperate disc. I made one for Guo Sifu. I will just send that along.
I am also preparing for Rumi's surprise party that I am hosting at the Big House tomorrow nite. Yumi went to get the cake today and some other little things. I called people, bought some beer, and got my dry cleaning. Also other snacks will be purchased tomorrow. Killer. Hopefully we can actually throw a surprise party for real this time. Yuppers.
Pretty much it for today. I am outtie suckas.

Posted by Phil at 09:19 AM | Permalink

Class was usual today. I didnt have my 2nd 6th grade class because we are trading it with a 2nd Grade class tomorrow morning. Should be interesting. I tried to find out what May wants me to teach the 2nd graders tomorrow and for some reason she thinks that I am teaching the 6th grade class tomorrow. Why the hell would I do that? A poor girl in one of my class had been doing some stuff for the school and because chinese people like to wash tile floors during the middle of the day while school is in session, she slipped on the floor and broke her arm. She should totally sue them. MFs.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Kindergarten went well. I bought a back-up drive for some of my computer files. I dont want to lose anything.

Posted by Phil at 09:58 AM | Permalink

I had my 4th graders today. Class went much better than last week. However, my 3rd period class was changed to 2nd period for some reason. One kid gave me problems in my 2nd period. He sat there in his chair with both hands up giving the middle finger on one and the pinky finger (the chinese version of the middle finger) on the other. So, I took him up to the front and made him stand in Horse Stance for about 8 minutes. I was having each row come up to the front to act out the words for reveiw and when his row came up I allowed him to join it. By that time he had began to water in the eyes.
Class was done. I came back to my desk and there is a giant bottle of Peanut Oil, Dish Soap, and cleanex packets on my desk. And all the women had bottles of milk and a chocolate flower in addition. Today is Women's Day all throughout the world apparently. The chinese celebrate it. I was told that we will have no class in the afternoon. And Doris called me yesterday to tell me that there would be no kindergarten today either. Interesting. When is Men's Day?
As for my health, I feel a bit better. I still feel messy from the drugs last night and I have a phlemgy cough. No fever though. At least, not yet.
After the morning classes were done, the teacher's had some activites to celebrate Women's Day. Everyone tried to sink two free-throws, jump rope, and do tug-o-war. It was funny to watch. After doing a little activity, I felt much better. The sun came out today and so far its been a gorgeous day. After doing the activities we went back to the office where our teams (English Dept, Math Dept, etc) received their prizes. We got 3rd. The prizes included pretzel sticks, toilet paper, fake Pringles, and a couple other things.
We then headed to the Flower Hotel for lunch. Like any big celebration, families bring thier kids and of course, the kids get super bored so they start playing in the areas not around the tables. I headed to the bathroom and there were 4 boys and 1 girl playing in the men's bathroom. As I walked in, they were scampered out. As I was washing my hands, a little boy walks in with a flower and is jabbering about someting. I say, "Hello." He responds, "Hello." I am all like, "How are you?" He is like, "Ok". I totally said something like, "What are you doing?" This is when he stared at me...then jumped in the air and ran into the stall. Ok. He then came back out of the stall with his pants around his thighs while he was holding is junk and he was saying something to me. I don't know if he needed help or what, but I pointed to the stall and said, "xi shou" (bathroom) while chuckling.
I didnt say one thing during the lunch at all. Its times like this I really wish I knew Guangdonghua and Putonghua. Oh well.
I did some house, computer work, and some shopping for junk until I headed out to take some fotos of Latern Festival I had developed for Guo Sifu and some of the other participants. I grabbed a bike taxi and headed out. As we were passing by the 1+1 Supermarket, there was a big crowd gathered. Then I saw the police had a perp handcuffed and sitting in between the two of them on their motorbike. The perp was trying to hide his face. He was prolly trying to pickpocket someone. Its happened to many people outside this place.
I got to the gym and there were just the wunderkinden hanging around doing not much. I took the fotos into the office and gave copies to the people there. Sifu showed up and I showed him the stuff. He was glad to get them. Sifu had a visitor as well. A P.E. teacher from a school was visiting to get some info from Sifu and the P.E. Teacher's wife was an English teacher at Leianna's and Robert's school. So, I chatted with her for some time. I was fooling around with one of the wunderkind when she ordered me over. "Come here, come here." Whoa...thats a little forceful. I figured it was because she doesn't know.
I then told Guo Sifu I had to leave, I couldn't practice cause of my cold that is mostly gone. He said sure and he told me to come next week on Mon Wed and Fri. Sure thang. I ended up walking home because I couldn't find a bike taxi. Time for bed fools.

Posted by Phil at 10:38 AM | Permalink

There was nothing much to report today other than trying to get rid of this cold. I seem to catch alot of colds in this country. Its so dirty. Oh well.

Posted by Phil at 10:36 AM | Permalink

Today, I got up after a well needed rest. I got another slight head cold from all the dancing and then walking thru the cold. I then met up with John and Jolene for his last lunch in Xiaolan. We had some good food. He then went back to Peter's to grab his suitcases and take them to the hotel where he will take the bus to the ferry port, then to Hong Kong.
I went to the foot massage place. I fell asleep during it. I felt much better afterwards, thats for sure. Then I headed home and John and Jolene were there ringing the doorbell. The four of us sat down and chilled out for a bit, then we went to grab some noodles before John left. At 6pm, he and Jolene had to jump onto a taxi to head for the hotel. I gave John a big "Mr. Peepers" hug. You know, how Mr. Peepers jumps on someone and holds on to them before he starts breathing heavily. It was sad to see him drive off into the coming night on the motorcycle. When will I see him again? I don't know. But I will. I know that.
Yumi was a bit upset and we went back to my place. Jolene showed up around 630pm and they pretty much sat on my bed crying for awhile. I texted John on his fone and he responded that he was really sad too.

Posted by Phil at 10:59 AM | Permalink

From the Kansas City News

BEIJING - Chinese government advisers meeting in Beijing this week have some weighty matters to discuss: blocking Taiwan's formal independence, alleviating dire poverty in the countryside. And lip synching.

Ma Bomin, an official with Shanghai's municipal radio, film and television administration, likens the practice of performers pretending to sing to selling fake goods. She wants to pass a law making it a crime for a performer to do so without first notifying audience members.

"Fake singing is no different from trading in fakes. It should be resolutely boycotted and shunned," Ma was quoted as saying in Saturday's Beijing News.

Ma didn't say what punishments would be proposed under the measure, included in a draft of China's first comprehensive law on arts and culture. Members of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference - a key advisory board to the national legislature - are discussing the draft law among other proposals.

The law follows a campaign by Chinese rock star and artists' rights advocate Cui Jian to mobilize fans to boycott lip synching artists. The practice is believed to be widespread in China, encouraged by a state-sponsored arts scene that churns out cookie-cutter performers with little real talent.

Posted by Phil at 08:12 AM | Permalink

Ok. So I gets up early. And i am waiting for my ride outside at 745am. Shows up at 8AM. Shoulda known. Going 30mph on a motorcycle is fast. I say this because for the past 6 months I have been on motorcycles that travel no faster than 20mph thru the city. Plus, weaving thru the traffic in a tightly packed city adds to things.
We got to the Government Building Auditorium. We had breakfast there. We watched a couple of the other groups and then it was our turn to practice there. If it weren't for me, the instructor would have set us on the stage so that I and a few others would fall off during one of the dance steps. It was ok i guess.
After that we headed back to the school where i was given a headband....NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The sun was out today so I was wearing my mirrors. Man...in this outfit...I look like I am a member of the cast to "Breakin' 3: The Return of Boogaloo Shrimp's Superfly Style"
I got the mirrors, the head band, the shirt, the pants, the shoes, and the gloves. All I need is three plaid ascots, about 5 swatches on my right wrist, and a bunch of slap bracelets on my left wrist. Oh...and a green vest. Then I would be totally breakin!
The practice at the school was irritating because a few people kept making mistakes and the female headmaster would yell at them...and they would yell back....but according to Coco, this is just talking. I have been here 6 months and I still have yet to find the difference in Cantonese yelling and talking.
We ate lunch.
These freaks were trying to put make-up on me after lunch. I was like, why do I need makeup. I am already white. Chinese people when they put on make up for performances, they basically paint their face white and then accent it with various things: blush, yellow around the eyes with sparkles and other crazy things. So, Coco, was like, "Ok...well, at least you need some lipstick." So I sat down and she put it on. When someone starts to giggle while putting makeup on you, you start to worry. I stood up and everyone started laughing. WTF! I went to look in the mirror. AIYA! It was gross. I spent about 5 minutes walking around trying to find tissue because chinese people don't believe in tissue, and I found some and whipped it off. I then yelled "chi seen!" at Coco which means, "crazy". Of course in a funny friendly way. And the chinese folks here love it when I say that. Its the only word I know where I sound like I am from Guangdong. I got rid of the lipstick, but some still remained and it accented my lips just enuff that it was ok for the stage. To imagine the horror or whorer that I looked like, picture Steve Buscemi from Adam Sandler's "Billy Madison" when Adam Sandler calls him up to apologize for the way he treated him in highschool, and then Steve Buscemi hangs up and puts on a gob of bright red lipstick. It was that creepy.
After that we headed to the Government building. Peter left his tripod at the entrance and I picked it up. It was 2pm and people were still filling in the auditorium. Yumi showed up while we were just about to start practicing. She watched our dance and was giggling underneath her hand when I went to talk to her. Yeah, its that bad, isn't it. She nodded her head in that japanese way. So we all went into the auditorium. I set up my camera and the show began. Turns out that we were the 3rd act. I headed out to get ready.
Dance time! It went ok. I screwed up a couple parts that I have never screwed up in practice. Go figure. Nothing major. Personally, I fel the performance was lame...but I also thought the dance was lame to. After getting back to my seat, I realized that most of the other dances were uber-lame as well. I don't know why but the chinese take so much from crappy US Culture: Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, diluted/commercial hip-hop, and horrible romantic movie chick flicks (ie Someone Like You). Its just so depressing. Alot of the music was the same chinese dance crude. There was teh occasional Backstreet Boys/NSync throw in, and a surprisinlgy cool dance mix of Jacko's "Billy Jean". Other than that, it was poop. This is why I am happy to see a law being passed like this: Chinese adviser urges lip synching ban. Maybe they should pass this in the USA so that actual artists with real skills actually could benefit from their art instead of having mindless zombies shelling out money for over-produced lack of talent cretins.
The dances were pretty funny. The best in the totally chinese category, which I unfortunately had turned off the camera long before to save tape, had a couple guys buzzing around the stage on those little lame jam scooters (those thin metal skateboards with rollerblade wheels and handlebars). They were wearing some shiny silver and blue outfit. At the end of their dance they had three guys with Twist N Pop Confetti Fireworks that blow junk all over the place. Well, they popped them in time with the music. #1 and #2 went of great, but #3 had some problems. The audience started to giggle and #3's face got all red. After the applause ended, I added, "Yangwei" only loud enuff that about 10 of my coworkers hearrd it and laughed. Thru my "Outrageous Chinese" book that Chad so graciously gave to me on my departure from AA, I learned that the chinese name "Yang Wei" means Great Yang. Yang is a common surname in China and all parents want their kids to be great, so they name them Yang Wei, "wei" meaning great. However, what they forget to remember is that the word "yangwei" is now synonomous with impotence. So, any child with that name will be made fun of. I said that after the guy couldn't pop his firework and the chinese girls around me giggled.
After the performance was over I headed to the computer store to buy 40 DVD-Rs. I need to make 3 copies of the last DVD for John. We then headed to a resturant for dinner. It was pretty good. The dance instructor came to borrow the tapes I recorded at the dance recital. Her team won "SPECIAL PRIZE". They were the best, but they also had 2 dance instructors in their troop. When they won it they were all "surprised". Whatever. Then for the following results:
1st Place: 8 teams, including the team I was in... how can there be 8 first places...it makes no sense.
2nd Place: 8 or 10 teams I can't remember.
Also during dinner, Coco tried to tell me that since I spent so much work in the dancing that I dont' need to come to class a couple days this following week, but I declined because they school bought me shoes and a radical Break Dancing outfit. How could I not come to class.
After dinner, Yumi and I headed over to Peter's place cause a bunch of folks were there. I was super tired from the long day and almsot passed out on the couch. While there, Peter told me a great story. He and Echo needed a taxi at one point. Peter wasn't in the greatest of moods. The taxi guy told Echo, "He is a foreigner, he should pay more." Peter responded to that with, "You are chinese, you can kiss my ass." Awesome. Absouletly awesome.

Posted by Phil at 12:34 PM | Permalink

Today was a great day. My classes went really well. Very successful I think. I was doing alot of performing in them. For the 3rd graders I was doing Big, Small, Happy, Sad, Heavy, Light, Hot, and Cold. I acted out everyone and then I made the kids act them out. They all got a kick out of it.
During lunch time I received my shirt for the performance tomorrow. Its a tank top...like a super-muscle-T. When it isn't stretched out it looks like the size of a baby's t-shirt. Crap. I have to wear this...along with those damn motor cycle gloves! I swear, I will be busting straight out of the 80s. I just hope I don't have to wear a headband.
During lunch, Coco took me to the place where they got the shoes. I was trying out a bunch of different ones. I finally decided on these really nice white ones with a shiny black stripe down the center of the tongue and front of the shoe. Its goofy look. So I got it. There was another shoe that I was looking at that was really lame. It looked like the shoe version of the rear-entry ski boots. Totally a waste of material.
Classes continuted to be really good. Kindergarten was surprisingly great. I brought my dance outfit along to teach them the names of each part. I also taught the letters. Then Jolene told me that the kindergarten teachers don't want us teaching letters and sounds to the kids becuase it will confuse them while trying to learn PinYin (the romanization system of chinese). I disagreed. I feel the kids could differentiate the two. Being young, its best time to learn it. But, oh well. They will forget the english anyway. Its not like I am making a difference in any of their lives.
Practice went real well tonite. I enjoyed it and we had a good time. #1 (a-Chan) the school's gym teacher was wearing his white jump pants and ripped thru their seams. It looked like Freddy Kruger got a hold of his pants. So, we had to work a little frontier medicine. We were told to go get some more pants...all black. So we had to go pick them up. While wearing the outfit, the shirt and pants...I look like a ballet dancer who's packed on a few pounds.
I have to get up at 645AM tomorrow because I being picked up at 745 to do a quick rehearsal at the Government building tomorrow. Fantastic. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:08 PM | Permalink

So, today was a normal day. However, the weather wasn't as gloomy as it has been for the past month. In the afternoon the sun actually came out for 3 hours! I was great. I haven't felt sun shine on me in this city for a while. I forgot what it felt like.
I had kindergarten today w/ the 2-4 year olds again. We these guys its hard too work on more than one thing, That's good though. I did the hokey pokey with them again today. A couple of them actually tried to do the dance. The rest just stood around and looked at me and laughed. The two 2 year old kids are pretty non-involved. Either they are too young for the class or their minds haven't developed enuff. When I talk to them...I can feel that their minds are working. I have started to use a bit of cantonese with them...like, "You say" = "lei gong". I have tried to use english to say, "You say" but it just doesn't work, they stare at me or just repeat exactly what I say. I found out that about 90% of the children in that class have never had any english. This is gonna be interesting.
During their bathroom break, while a few were back in the class area and the rest were still squating, i began playing a bit with the kids. Since I don't like having my groin punched or my ass punched by little kids I have done two things:
1. Had the chinese instructors tell them flat out that if any kid slaps my butt or punches my groin, they will sit in the corner for a time out. (I can't believe I am using discipline tactics that I myself said, "I would never do that when I get older.")
2. I got on my knees to play with the kids.
When I got on my knees the kids got super excited and mauled me. I had about ten 3-4 year olds all trying to hug me at once and screaming while I was on my knees. It was all I could do from buckling over and having them fall all over the place.
About 5 minutes later, one boy decided to test my #1 rule. He got up as I was going around the rows and slapped my ass. So I picked him up and took him over to the corner and sat him down. He started bawling right away. I hated to do it, but you would to if you got smacked in the ass and punched in the groin for a whole semester. Of course, Jolene yelled at me, "Aiya! You are too strict! He is just a kid, he wants to play." So, I explained to her. I said, "How would you like it if I ran up to you 10 times during the class and slapped your ass and punched your groin?" Well, don't answer that...you may like it. Besides, first its a slap to the butt, then its a punch to the groin, then its a fist to the fast like Psycho Lucy, and then its a shotgun to the back.
After class, I decided to screw the dance practice for a bit and go get some food at the Wooden Chair. i haven't been there in a while. So I went and grabbed a taxi. I told him, "Ren Ming Gong Yen" which is People's Park in Putonghua. The taxi guy repeated exactly what I said and I said, "Hai". He started going in the wrong direction. I was like...hmm...well, depending on which way he turns at this street, I will give him a piece of mind. He turned the wrong way. I said, "Aiya! Ren Ming Gong Yen!!!" and pointed in the opposite direction. He then said, "Oooooh, Ren Ming Gong Yen, like he just understood what I was trying to say along with some other things I can only assume are insults or annoyed sayings. I was like, "Dude, its not my fault you don't understand chinese!" All my coworkers understand. All the Bond staff understands. All the Lion Dance people understand the chinese when I do use it. And so do some other taxi people. Its your fault you don't understand your own language. Here's a quarter, buy a clue.
After I ate I headed back to school for dance. Practice went until 930pm. Yuck. Oh well. I got my white pants that we are to wear in the show on Saturday. We also got the shoes. The shoes were the proper length size, but the width was like super tight. I put them on and my footies were crushed it felt like. I tried to dance in them to maybe break them in and after about 2 minutes of jumping i felt my big toe go "ZOINKS!" Ouch! so, I had to sit a few minutes out. The rest of the night i was being super careful of the toe and not jumping. Oh, and I removed the shoes as well. Coco said we would go out tomorrow and get another pair.
This evening I decided that I am gonna quit my bitching and complaining about the time schedual for this dance thing. I am starting to enjoy the bonding experience with the other teachers this has given. And the school is really doing alot too. They are paying for the outfits and the gym shoes. I needed new gyms shoes and they are taking care of it. So, I have decided to put a real effort into this despite how much I think its a retarded dance. I mean, we are doing a competition and I know now matter how much effort I put into it, there will be about five 1st places, seven 2nd places, and eight 3rd places. Time for bed time!

Posted by Phil at 10:17 PM | Permalink

I hope you have a wonderful day today!

Let's see. How was my day. Well, my classes went fairly well. I was able to keep the 6th graders at bay and not have them give me too much crap. However, I walked into my last 6th grade class of the week and they are one of my two terrible 6th grade classes. I walked in and one of the girls in the middle front saw me walk in and she made that sad "ooooooooh" noise you make when something you don't like happens. I will smack you silly. This is the class where a few of the girls have started to develop big time attitudes. I like what the Misfits said about Attitude. I want to say every line of that song to those kids. Oh well. Between 6th grade classes and walked to the Kodak shop and picked up my pictures I dropped off to have developed for Guo Sifu on Monday. After the last 6th grade was done, I headed out to kindergarten.
Today is my day with my 10 Kid Spaz Class. However, it wasn't the same bunch as last semester. The Fat Kid who's pants were always falling down, Bizarro Phil, Psycho Pig-Pen, Mickey, and the Cute Little Girl were gone. So, to start out, I had 4 of the same kids: The Girl Who's Voice Volume is on #3, Tommy, Mickey's Best Friend, and Reserved Boy. The really smart kid, almost equal to that of Tommy, showed up about 5 minutes before the class was over. I started out with 4 of the same kids and 3 new kids: a quiet lad, a girl that looks like a chubbier version of the Cute Little Girl, and Psycho Lucy. Ok. So, I started out the class with an introduction of Duck Duck Goose to the new kids. It took them a few tries to understand it and catch on.
The reason I call the one girl Psycho Lucy is because she is very in-your-face and is kind of like the female version of Psycho Pig-Pen. She doesn't have much control and is very physical. Outside before class, Tommy was chatting with me while she and Reserved Boy were staring at me. So, I played a bit with Tommy and Reserved boy and I tried to play with Psycho Lucy and she started throwing punches and kicks. Jeez. But she was playing...apparently. Anyways, back in the class, I was going thru each student and shaking hands and asking, "How are you? What's your name?" Jolene had taken the 4th kids spot (Smart Kid hadn't showed up yet and she was filling in) so, Psycho Lucy was 7th in waiting for handshakes. I got to the 5th in waiting, they sat next to her, and Psycho Lucy jump up and wailed one into my face.
I lunged for her and she thought I was playing so she started to run. I caught her in 3 seconds, threw her over my shoulders and restrained her for a walk to the headmaster's office. I walked down the stairs and about halfway down I think she realized that she was in trouble. She started to kick and squirm. I was like a snake. The more she squirmed the tighter my grip got. As I walked to the office, other teachers and parents walked by me and stared at me. I set her down on the seat in the office and explained to the headmaster that she hit me. I left and Psycho Lucy didn't come back to the class until about 10 minutes before it was over. She was wimpering and I saw that her eyes were red. You'll get over it and perhaps you will learn something. I just hope the headmaster didn't hit her or anything. I doubt she did, but that is pretty standard in Chinese schools.
After kindergarten I had to go back to my primary school for Dance Rehearsal. Coco told me before I left that I needed to come back right after kindergarten to practice. Damnit. So, I get to practice and it was super lame. These guys have been practicing this prolly as much as twice as me and I was instructing them what to do. Then we had some food on the house. Nice, but then they all sat around for about 1.5 hours doing nothing while the food settled. The instructor finally showed up around 730pm I was like finally, but then practice went on till 930. They totally wasted my time.
oh well. I know to never again allow them to volunteer me.
good nite all.

Posted by Phil at 11:25 AM | Permalink

I had two fourth grade class this morning. Absolutely terrible. I put one kid up in front of the room for acting up. After a while of him not responding to what I was trying to get him to obviously do, I started to try and take him to the office to see the headmaster and he freaked. He would not let me take him. Lucy ended up scolding him outside the classroom. There goes any sort of remaining authority. Then the fat buddhist kid that always acts up in the back was giving me crap, so I sent him to the front. He used this time in front of the class to dance. Lucy says this kid is crazy, not all in the head. In front of the class she made this motion and this time all the kids started to giggle. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!
After a terrible morning I headed off to the gym to renew my membership for another 6 months and to try and workout...its been ~1 month since I have been to the gym. ugh. Took care of that. I was gonna workout, but it was friggin' cold and the gym had all the windows open again. I still say that's retarded.
Headed back to the house to cool off from my morning classes. Great, I thought, I have 6th grade to deal with in the afternoon and then 35 kindergarteners. Ugh. I got to school and was preparing. Ivy had three of her students at her desk collecting some materials. I was chatting with her for something. She offered me up that one of the boys collecting stuff at her desk was "very stupid". WHAT! You don't talk about your kids like that in front of them. "Oh, that's just for you. He's stupid. Very poor english. He doesn't know what I am saying." Its soooo wrong. But sooooo true. The boy sat their smiling and giggling. (See above sentence written in capitals in the first paragraph)
My 6th grade classes went really good. I was very surprised. I got them to write tons of junk on the board. I don't know why they say they don't know English. Everything was spelled right...for the most part. Hell. I know english and if you have spent anytime reading my journal, you know that I don't speel the bestest.
I was given another surprise at kindergarten. I didnt have my usual Tuesday class like Lynn said I would. Instead I had Suzannah's old Youngling's Class. This kids ranged from 3-4 and there were two brand new 2 year olds in the class. They were all adorable. About three kids pissed their pants and the homeroom teacher had to pull out the hairdryer. This is gonna be a very interesting class.
After that I headed to dance practice! YEAH! I get to wear white jumpsuit pants and crappy black vinyl gloves with the fingers cut off. I put them on, they were too tight, and I burst thru half the seams. Fantastic. The shirts come tomorrow. Part of the dance show entails me being in the bottom of a people pyramid. We were practicing and one of the women was digging her knee into my spine. Ouch. Joy joy joy.
I got really upset with this place down the street that I have given lots of business to. They make good food and its cheap. Yet, for the past few times I have been going I have been noticing the serving that I have been receiving has been much less than the chinese people that pay the exact same amount as me. Today I saw a guy get a load of food and then the chinese woman gave about 6 pieces or so, so I handmotioned to "Come on, don't bullshit me, more" So she added a more real serving and she then charged me an extra yuan. I gave her 5.5RMB and she gave me back 1RMB. I stood there waiting for the rest of the change. She turned around and was like, "You're still here." I was like...I gave you 5.5, the price is 3.5. WTF! Ok. Its not a money issue here. I can pay the extra 1 yuan. But the fact that she would charge me more for less because I am white just pissed me off when I was already in a bad mood. So i started giving her a hassle and I got into a cantonese arguement.The boss lady was conversing with the lady that served me to try and understand what was going on. Then the boss lady was all like, "Aaaah, I understand... I have a solution. I will fix this." She took the food and starting removing peices of meat. NO NO NO NO! What the hell is wrong with you. So, I went in to her money basket, threw the change back in, and took my original amount. "Sit n spin, lady!" I said a couple things and gave them this look of disgust. I took off and I ain't ever going back there again. I was sooooo pissed off. Why I stay in this shithole of a country is beyond me sometimes.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 08:42 PM | Permalink

Spent time with John because he's got a week left in China before he heads home. His flight is for March 8th. I worked on my DVD. Another one is under construction. I also picked up my fixed space heater from the Bond office today. Finally. If they would just buy quality products they would have to waste money on having them fixed and pissing off their employees. I am afraid to leave that thing on anymore since it coulda burned down the house anytime it wanted. Leianna's almost set her couch on fire when it blew out.
I went to dance practice but they were in a school meeting when I showed up so I went home.

Posted by Phil at 12:26 PM | Permalink

Not much to report today. Just hung out most of the day with John, Jolene, and Yumi. Nick was here and there with his girlfriend from Inner Mongolia. She is in town visiting him. She took a job in Shenzhen to be close to him. Aaaaaaawwwwwww. She speaks no english.

Posted by Phil at 12:24 PM | Permalink

I had dance practice from 830AM-12...well, actually 10-12. I was told to be there at 830AM. So i showed up on time and practice didn't really start till 10AM. Thanks. People didn't even get to the dance area until about 930AM. Chinese time can be trying. After dancing we all went out to lunch. It was good lunch. I was super tired and I passed out around 230PM and got up around 430pm. Rest of the day was spent doing nothing special.

Posted by Phil at 12:21 PM | Permalink

Today was ok. I was very tired for some reason. My first class was canceled because the headmaster ended up lecturing the kids for about 30 minutes. The rest of the day was fine.
Tonite was Toby's birthday and for some reason, Rumi decided to throw him surprise bday party. I asked her, "Are you sure he is reliable enuff to show up at your place at 930pm? I mean, he did go on a vacation without bothering to tell you. How do you know he just won't go elsewhere tonite on his own?" She said she would make sure. Whatever.
Around 7pm, Nick and Amy both said that Toby was calling around asking for people to go out drinking with tonite. They would meet at 9pm and head out. ....... So I called up Rumi. "You know, Toby is calling around to get people to go out at 9pm."
-Oh.....he is? I will call him and see what he's doing.
Yes, make it more obvious that you are doing something.
When time finally came around, Toby didn't show up at 930pm like he was supposed to. He showed up about 1015pm with Sean and Suzannah. And of course, no one in this country knows how to throw a surprise party. They were all talking loud and turning off the TV while he was knocking on the door. And people were whispering around constantly. Then it took Rumi about 5 minutes before she turned out the lights and opened the door. Around 2.5 minutes, Toby started playing his guitar, "Open the door, and let me in".
She finally did and a couple people blew off those confetti canons.
Why wasn't she ready. Oh well.
Toby was wearing the same shirt that I bought in Lijiang. Only he got his for 100RMB, i got mine for 40RMB. giggle.
At one point near the end of the nite, I came out into the living room when the first thing I heard was Toby saying this, "Yes! Cats should pay rent too." I immediately turned around and went elsewhere.
I dunno how the conversation started but I think it arose from someone mentioning Animal Rights on the TV news. Toby said, "If people want to give aniimals rights, then maybe animals should be required to do the same things as people. Animals should pay rent and stuff like that."
A story about the Pope came on and how he was in deteriorating health. Toby said, "Good ridance [followed by incoherent babbling]." This sent Sean and Suzannah up and they were trying to argue with him and it was useless. Toby then said, "If I could, I would vote a cat to be the pope if he paid his rent." - you don't vote for popes - "Oh yeah, there is like a cardinal convoy that does so or something [more incoherent babbling]."
I headed home around 1130 since I have to do some stupid dance practice for the school tomorrow.

Posted by Phil at 02:10 PM | Permalink

From: Phil
To: Austin
Subject: Hope you are well.
Date: Wed, 2 Feb 2005 13:01:22 +0800

I got word not too long ago that you were in an accident last week. I hope you are alright. What happened?
I am pulling for your quick recovery. I hope the guy that caused your accident will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. But thats doubtful. I hope you are better now and things are healing.

Posted by Phil at 08:39 PM | Permalink

Today was an interesting day. Today is the day where my first class is at 10:10AM. Sweet. I got up real early today as well to get some things done and plan for the lessons. John showed up at the big House around 9AM. He spent 10 hours on the train yesterday coming home from Hunan with Jolene. He neeeded a place to crash because another person has already moved into his old place. I told him that he is more than welcome to crash in Clyde's old room. Too bad its locked. He basically sat down and fell asleep on the couch after he told me of his time in Hunan. He only got 1.5 hours of sleep. Icky. Sounds like my plane ride to Hong Kong.
I headed to class. It was ok. It was third graders. They weren't very good today. They seem to have forgotten all their english of the few weeks that they had off. Fantastic! Also, the little boy with cauliflowering of his ears was shooting paper wads with his ruler with his 2 friends that sat next to him. I scolded him a couple times as well as my enforcer. Then one of his friends shot a paper wad with more strength and effort than he planned to. It whizzed by my head I turned quickly around, and there he sat with his hands covering his mouth. So I grabbed Cauliflower Ears and Hands Over Mouth. Then kids sitting around him pointed out the third kid. Apparently he shot it, but the hands over mouth kid was in on it as well. So i grabbed all three, I put them in front of the class and made them all do the horse stance until class was done. There was about 10 minutes left. After about 1 minute they were jiggling around trying to relieve the pain. "Hey kids, you know if you squirm or try to relax the position, it just hurts more." There were up there for a while that I forgot about them. They were leaning over and I kept going over there sometimes and fixing their position.
Lunch was good cause I worked on finishing up most of the journals. Then went back to class. I had the 5th graders this time. These classes went really good. The 2nd class was better except in the beginning.
After the eye lessons were done, I noticed one of the "huskier" girls had her head in her arms. When Ivy, the enforcer, walked in, i motioned to the girl. Ivy went over and the girl was crying. She said some things that implicated the person in front of her. Then Ivy said something else and all the kids sitting around her pointed out another kid all at once. Damn! You kids are sure quick to rat your fellow comrades out aren't you. I am super glad none of you kids are my friends or comrades. I couldn't trust you with anything. Thanks Chairman Mao. You did wonders for this country. While Ivy had her back turned and scolding the boys, another boy decided to pull out a single barrel aimed at Ivy. I saw this and scolded him and made him do the horse stance up in front of the class. After 5 minutes, Ivy had him come back to her and explain what happened. I went and told Ivy what happened and he stood back there for a while really sad and red in the eyes. He was upset the whole class. He will get over it.
The classes actually went really good, except for those parts. Got them speaking alot and telling me how their chinese new year was. It was very good. It was tuff but I got them to do it.
After class was over I had dance class at 445pm. I got there at 5pm and they were just starting up. And it was still the same. Then the dance instructor showed up at 6pm and spent an hour with us showing the intro and the moves. She also showed me the part that has the Muay Thai Kickboxing in it. Very terrible. I can't believe I am doing this. Well, the school is nice to me, so I will help them out by giving them face. Besides, I get something I can laff at.
After that I went and grabbed some food at McDonald's (hangs head). I know. I shouldn't but, ugh...i wanted to. One of the girls from Lion Dance was behind the counter and she was happy to see me. "Fei Long!" So I chose her line. Pretty decent. Very nice. She gave me extra big pop for free....OOOOOO! she likes me. ;-)
I came back here and Moses and Nick were watching Deer Hunter. It was in the middle. Why do I always catch it in the middle. Oh well.

Posted by Phil at 07:59 PM | Permalink

Today started out just as another day. After I finished my 5th grade class with Lily at 1050AM, i booked it out of school and down the street to snag a motorbike taxi. I got to Yongning (proper spelling, not Yongling) at about 11:05AM and only few a people were around. I figured we prolly wouldn't head out for another 15 minutes cause that's the way Chinese people work. However, I was more surprised when we didn't leave till about 1145AM. I guess I didn't have to be there so soon. Guo Sifu showed up with some packed lunches. Everyone scarfed their food and they were all amazed when I didn't take my rice box. Listen, you don't need to eat that much rice. Its just a waste of stomach space and no nutrition. I changed my clothes. We then headed out. We packed up a mini-bus filled with people.
On the way to Shiqi one of the kids threw up. Alot of chinese people get sick on buses, its very surprising. I never thought of something like that. We got to Shiqi and unpacked the trucks and bus. We then headed into the stadium where the festivities would start. Wow, this place was pretty big. We were around the 35 yard line if there was a 35 yard line. There were a lot of lion dance troops there along with some other activity groups. There was also a large contigent of buisness employees that were there as advertisement for their companies. The 1+1 Superstore Grocery Store chain had four people dressed up in these giant yellow chick suits. It was really funny. They would let us take any fotos with them though. What a shame.
I just hung around waiting while the rest of the people showed up for the festivities. I was getting lots of stares from other teams. There was one dragon dance team where the guy doing the head was giving me dirty looks and imitating me as I was warming up some muscles. It was kinda chilly. What a Turd Ferguson. I was taking fotos of the team as well. I also allowed a couple of the kids, Victor in particularly, to take some pictures. He actually took a couple good ones. He also took a bunch of crap. :D
About this time I had one news agency come over to me and interview me. It was fine. After her not understanding me, Guo Sifu came over and helped out a bit. Told her what I do and what I would be doing (which I ineviatably didn't do). After some more time it was time to start the show. There was about 10000 people in the audience of the stadium. Wow. I took a place by the press reporters and video people. I had my video camera in my right hand and my digital camera in my left hand. I kept noticing chinese people taking my foto. Oh well, I have to expect it. The lion dance blessing was really kool. There were about 50 lines on the sidelines just rocking out. Really cool. It reminded me of being in Kung Fu movies that have big Lion Dance tournaments and a "VIP" daus in the stands overlooking with their power.
After they were done, they moved to the side. I kept getting yelled at by the police to stay behind the line, the problem was, they kept setting the line further back. First it was the white line. Then it was the yellow line, then it was the red one...etc etc. "But the TV crew guy is out there! I want to do that too!" Punk. There was also one police officer who was taking fotos of the event as well. I asked to take his foto and he said no. Hey, at least I asked him. He didn't bother to ask me before he took mine without my permission.
After lion dancing was done, other events took the floor. First, the Zhongshan Health Attendants. WHat I think were nurses. They were dressed up in full uniform and doing some pretty funny form things. Like marching in place, then other stuff. It was just bizarre. It was like watching that video clip at the end of the Daily Show one day during the "Moment of Zen": It was a bunch of elementary school kids, about 16 lined up in rows all bouncing a basketball in a low stance at the same time for Yasser Arafat. Friggin' bizarre. After them, it was the cheerleaders who didn't even bothering "Bringing it on". Their form/dance they did was even worse than the Nurses.
Now, after the cheerleaders, this group of old chinese women came out with flags around their waists and they did a neat dance to a cool song. It was really nice. After them came another group of old women and a couple old men in the back. They all had red fans. They all started doing a taiji form. I was like, KOOL! it was awesome, they all flipped the red fans open at the same time and there must have been 100 or more people out there, becuase it made a huge resounding FWHOOP! It rocked.
After them came the drum and cymbal people. After that, I think it was done. They started blowing air up the asses of the important people on the daus while everyone else sat down in boredom. I went and sat on the troops cart that carries our percussion session. I was looking down doing something with my fotos and people were coming by and taking my pictures without my permission. Son of a bitch. Because you are being a dick, I won't give you anything. I kept my head down and I turned myself away from their likes. The girls on the cart were giggling everytime I got irritated with them.
After more time of that finally things got underway.
They started bringing out the balloons. They had a torch guy come out like it was the Olympics. Whatever. And then the important people left thru the lined up lions and all the lions were saluting them and the drums were playing. Then we started the parade. We started walking out. Once out of the stadium we were behind the biggest dragon I have ever seen.
The head alone was larger than the guy controlling it and it was about 30 people long. They had three people holding a rope tied to the tail like they were holding it back from the candy ball in front. Very cool. I was staring at them and they were staring at me. It was stop and go parade style, after about 20 minutes we got going along with no stops. We were walking down the Palm Tree Street towards one of the government buildings and the seats where the important people were at. As we walked down I took a bunch of fotos of stuff. It was also kinda funny, all the kids were staring at the shiny stuff in the parade, but all the adults were staring at me. What's a gweilo doing here? It seemed like I was the only gweilo invovled in the festivities. I saw one other walking in the crowd. After we reached the end we headed back to the mini-bus. We drove back to Xiaolan. It was about 530 when we got back. I ended up walking home almost because of the fact that there were no empty taxi bikes around. Fudge. Well, got home after grabbing some food. I was relaxing and threw in O Brother Where Out Thou. Funny.
Afterwards headed to bed. I was super tired.

Posted by Phil at 03:56 PM | Permalink

Today went well. I walked in and we had the new books for the sememster so I need to come up with a lesson right quick. I tried asking the kids "What did you do for Chinese New Year". After some manipulation, they figured it out. It went pretty good.
During lunch I got Amy's help to make a chinese language menu for my DVD. It turned out really well. Very good. I used an Apple Template. Very simple. Very good. That pleased me.
The 6th grade class went surprisingly well. I asked Coco about covering my morning class because I thought the performances were at 10 and 11AM. She said sure! I LOVE MY SCHOOL! After classes were done I had Amy talk to Guo Sifu about the times for meeting at the gym on wednesday morning. He said 11am and then we go to Shiqi. Also, there was no practice tonite. Thats a change, that means I will miss that afternoon classes. Great, that means I can teach in the morning on wednesday and then May can cover for my afternoon class. I will have to tell them this at the dance practice I have tonite. :D This dance stuff is hilarious. Real cheezy. I figure, what the hell, I will perform in the contest with them. It will make for good jounral entries.
After classes were done, I came back here and showed the DVD to a couple people. They liked it. Amy told me of one mistake on the menu so i fixed it and made a better copy for Guo Sifu. I will give it to him on wednesday. I went to the dance practice. So funny. Apparently they have added some punching exercising to the dance steps. UGH! This is terrible! Why can't we do real dancing like Swing or Lindy or Waltz. Something real.
I headed back home. Daisy and her mom wanted to stop by and drop something off so they came over with a fruit basket. Apparently Daisy wanted to give me something because of the gift I got her in Kunming. Also, her mom wanted to ask me about private lessons. Sure thing. After they left to meet their grandfolks for dinner, I had some dinner. Nick made some spaghetti. He was bored all day with no work, so he made us dinner. That was sweet. We watched the Ray Charles tribute on Pearl TV. It was kool. But answer me this... what the hell was Tom Cruise doing on stage and talking about how Ray Charles' music had made America more just... Nick and I just looked at each other and said, "BULLSHIT" simultaneously. They showed Morgan Freeman look away with a look of...This guy is retarded. It rueled.
After that, I headed to bed. Long day tomorrow.

Posted by Phil at 01:08 PM | Permalink

Sweet. Spent more time today updating my journal. I also started putting together a DVD for Guo Sifu. All the chinese New Year Lion Dance performances. I am gonna hack together and give it to him. Should be cool. Shunde, Guzhen, and Sanxiang. It took a while to get it done, but after a few hours, I didnt some quick sloppy edits and churned out a good movie. Its gonna take about 10 hours to encode, so I will finish it tomorrow. I hope it looks good.
I read the onion just now, there is an awesome article that is just like the experience I am having here in China. Its very funny. http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4107&n=3 This ruelz.
i went to lion dancing today. I got there at 815pm and people were waiting outside. Now one was indoors, so some of the guys called around. About 830 one of the kids ran to someones house, grabbed a key and then came back. Again I spent my time practicing while others fooled around. Oh well. I need to prepare for the Latern Festival on the 23rd. Guo Sifu showed up around 915pm. He was in HK today picking up the Wunderkinden. I chatted to him about the Latern Festival on the 23rd via Mountain. That guy is such a life saver. He is my favourite Bond staff member. He actually gets things done. Anywho, I find out that the performances in Shiqi are during the afternoon. 11AM - 230pm. What?! Who the hell celebrates "Lantern Festival" during the day. Lanterns are used to light up the nite, shouldn't the celebration be at nite? I guess not. Well, I have to teach so i guess I can't go....unless I ask for someone to cover for me...hmmmmm......I called Coco to find out about if we have school on Wednesday being Latern Festival. We have school. She then asked me where I was for dance practice. I told her I had to come to Lion Dance practice. She said oh. But then she said we have practice on tomorrow evening, so I must go. Ok.
After that I headed home and went to bed.

Posted by Phil at 12:52 PM | Permalink

I went to the sunday morning meeting at my school today. It was 2.5 hours of listening to chinese people and I sat there correcting Coco's little Chinese to English Restaurant Conversation booklet. Bond told me I had to be there but when I got there everyone was like, what are you doing here? Whatever. But the good thing about it was that everyone was giving everyone else little red packets of Chinese New Year Money. The school itself gave everyone 150RMB. SWEET! It was awesome. I love my school. For other reasons than this. My school, from what I understand from other teachers, is very relaxed. They let me come and go after my classes done. Its great. Other teachers have to be there all day if they dont have anything to do. During the meeting everyone was given a small pile of sunflower seeds on their desk area. For about 1 hour, 50 teachers were constantly chewing on these sunflower seeds. I swear, I felt like I was in a giant bowl of Rice Crispies with the SNAP CRACKLE POP! going off. Thats what it felt like. It was very loud.
After the meeting, we had dance rehearsal. Apparently in 2 weeks there is a dance competition for teachers at different schools. They had a girl come in and show some dance steps. Its very very cheesy. The type of dance you do for aerobics. Its actually quite funny. I think they really want me to do it. What the hell, I will. It will make for great journal entries and video. The best thing about it...we get to do "jazz hands"! YES! And of course, the chinese have made it mechanical, no feeling behind it. Very funny. Lets see how that goes.
We then all went out to Dim Sum. mmmm yummmy dim sum.
After that I headed home and started writing up these jounral entries.

Posted by Phil at 12:46 PM | Permalink

Spent the day unpacking and squaring things away. Pretty awesome. Very good day.

Posted by Phil at 12:44 PM | Permalink

Woke up at 7am today and we had breakfast. Today was the last day. Looking back on the trip, I had a blast. The tea shop and medicine shop were a waste of time though. I feel we could have more time at the real sites if we didnt have to attend these government forced stops. Hopefully today we see some real cool stuff. I am not sure of what the agenda is today. I will have to wait and see.
We hopped the bus at 800AM and headed out to a Common Old Town. Basically, this is an old town/village/city that was very common in the past. Its not like Lijiang or Dali which were ancient...over 1000 years. I would have to say this was more like 500 years or something. It was very differnt thats for sure. It reminded me alot of the city area and locale of the movie "Iron Monkey". If some of you haven't seen that movie, find the original version before Queinten Tarantino and Miramax got there slimy hands on it and butchered it. Its my favorite Kung Fu Film. Its also regarded around here as one of the best. Donnie Yen rules. Anywho. It was very pretty and we were there about 830AM. The place was empty. No shops were open and as we left people started to set up little tourist stands. The place was still waking up.
I walked thru the very large and pretty gate. On each supporting wall of the gate entrance was a picture of an animal the chinese love. It also had one lotus blossom.
I walked down a long dusty main street. It was lined on either side by, what I figued, are restaurants, bars, shops, and a hotel. There may have been a whore house there too, in the past. At the end of the road, it widens up to the large town square that has much to look at. On the right corner at the end of the street there was a three leveled building which I think was the hotel. As you turned the corner you get a major modern day shock. On the right side of this new street/path is the old traditional fancy hotel on the right and the path then turns into a road thru the modern living quarters of the residents. It was mind boggling to have all these gorgeous old time buildings right next to these new(relatively) run down shacks that lined the street. These places were falling apart and the place looked like a war zone. It just was a kick in the face pretty much. I grabbed a couple fotos, here. Well, if you look at the fotos, you may disagree with the war zone bit, but that was my first impression. It doesn't really come thru on the foto, but it sure seemed like one in real life. Maybe it was the moment, seeing gorgeous old chinese stuff then ugly new stuff. That must be what it was. Anywho.
I walked back into the town square. There seemed to be two squares. First there was the religious square then the town square next to it. In the religious square was a big grey stone shrine with four entrances. I walked in and Ying Ying followed me in so i started to chase here around. It was pretty low ceiling. Once in the middle if you look out the four entrances you can see the main gate thru the opposite opening you could see a building before the Buddha temple. The other two openings, one you saw the street of the new living area I talked about before, thru the opposite opening you can see the town square and the Taoist temple across the town square. After that I headed to the Buddha temple. It was kool. I am starting to get templed out in China. There are so many, they are so pretty, but alot are just the same. I like them though. The buddha they had here was the fat buddha. As I walked to the temple I had some ladies try to sell me incensce sticks. No thanks. They kept pushing it on me as well. NO! The female doctor that gave me the medicine got the same treatment. The ladies were chasing her. It was bizarre. She would say no and they kept coming after her. Man, these people don't let up.
After checkin that shizzle out I headed over to the taoist temple across the square. This was a real kool looking place. Lots of ornate stuff in it. I got a couple of "waz up" nods from some staff workers as I entered and left. They seemed nice there. No one pushed anything on me. Took some fotos and headed out. Then next to the taoist temple was (what I think was) a congregating area for like banquets n stuff. I think. I dunno. The red wall was all scraped up. It looked neat and old. I then headed back to the main street and everyone was heading back to the bus. We grabbed the bus and headed out. It turned out that this little visit to the Common Old City was the best part of the day.
We arrived at this shopping center and everyone which was made for selling tea and selling crap that goes along with making and drinking tea. It also had some really cheezy souvenirs. They had this really funny looking purses made from coconuts. They took coconuts, cut them in half, and polished them up n stuff and put a lining inside. The put a zipper on them and then gave them faces and bodies with leather. There was a goat, a bull, a pig, something else I could figure out, and a lion.
I spent about 20 minutes just walking around doing nothing. Totally bored. Walked out and they had people missing limbs begging for money on the sidewalk and of course, they saw the white man and instinctively thought that I had tons of cash, not true. They hobbled over to me and were beggin. Sorry pal. I walked around the area. There was a construction site underway. A giant building kinda like Cobo Hall for veiwing shows n stuff. I then headed back to the bus, still no one. So i just sat there until people came back. Chen and Spaz's Dad came back and they headed out back around the junkyard where we seemed to be parked at to relieve themselves. They got back and I asked, is there a bathroom over there? They said, "No." Just be careful. Crap. So, I went and found a nice little area and didnt find out to afterwards that it was a place where very poor people lived. I found this out when a small shitzu chained to the wall tried to attack me. He was out for blood man. The fotos are in the Kunming section, here.
The place looked like a demilitarized zone and then I saw doors. Whoa. Totally not expecting that. Sorry folks. I headed back to the bus.
We drove to a jade/diamond shop. Oh man, not another one. At this point, I was like, screw it. Lets just go home. Get me outta here! Let's make like a tree and get out of here. This place had two floors. I went looking at stuff. Again, very pretty, but nothing really speical. And since it was a shop, you know it was way overpriced. I was looking for souvenirs, but nothing called out, "PICK ME!" After the jade shop, we drove around in a cicrle. We started to go somewhere and then the bus turned around and we headed back towards the diamond/jade shop towards a restaurant for lunch. Lunch already? Its only 11AM. Jeez. Oh well. Across the street was a resturant that still had Christmas decorations hanging up. Sweet! Well, i shouldn't laugh. We still have our tree sitting up in the living room. Giggle.
We headed in to have hot pot. I didn't eat much and I wasn't in the best of moods because so far the day was pretty friggin' lame.
After lunch we headed to the Flower Market. It was pretty lame too. Lots of flowers. Some of it was pretty for about 10 minutes, then it just got boring because we were there for about 1.5 hours. Ugh. There was some really strange art hanging on the wall. It had to be a local thing to a certain person in Kunming because I didn't see it anywhere else in this area. Also, alot of the art in this area has a Native American feel to it. After we finally left, we headed to the airport around 230pm. I had some much junk that I bought here that I had to put my backpack as luggage. The plane was for 4pm, but it was delayed 40 minutes. I spent the whole time writing stuff for my jounral. And I spent the 2 hour flight writing in my journal as well. Koolio. It was a good flight home. Grabbed luggage around 7pm and we got our bus back to Shiqi at about 730pm.
On the bus ride we watched Kung Fu Hustle. That movie rules. We finally dropped everyone off and I got a taxi back to Xiaolan. ZTG paid for it. This taxi driver was terrible. He got lost in Xiaolan. Figures with my luck. He asked about 5 people directions to the same place and they all differed. What is wrong with you people! Ugh. I finally got home and got some sleep. It was a great trip despite the last day of boringness. Good nite all. Hope you have enjoyed these entries.

Posted by Phil at 11:28 AM | Permalink

Woke up really early again today at 6AM. Grabbed breakfast and the bus took off by 730AM. Everyday since Dali, the bus has had trouble starting up. The first day it happened, i thought we were gonna get stranded somewhere in the middle of nowhere. But after about the 6th try the thing starts up. Oh well. Today we are heading to the Stone Forest. I am excited about this. I hope its really kool. We headed out and were on the road for another four hours. At our first pitstop, a bunch of the women went into the bathroom then a few seconds later I see them all running out covering their mouths and pluggin their noses. They then formed a line outside the bathroom while still keeping their mouths and noses closed. The kept playfully pushing and egging each other to go into the bathroom and use it. It was quite funny. The guys would walk into their side and just come out holding their breath. I told myself, I can hold it till the next stop. It was a memorable moment. Thats what you get for not having proper sewage and toilet systems.
Somewhere along the way we stopped at another Beijing Medicine shop for brainwashing. I didnt even bother going in. I just hung out by the bus and walked around looking at all the wreckage in the back of the building. Kevin was outside as well so i played with him a bit.
We headed out again and stopped for lunch at this highway sightseeing place outside of the local town. We entered the gate and the first thing I saw were these tibetan inspired buildings or orange and white then a little pagoda pavilion on the top of a cliff with a water fall spraying out below it. It was beautiful. I went, "ooooooooo". Chen said this place was called "Seven Color Painted Wall" for whatever reason I don't know. Very pretty. The lunch place was in a big dinner theatre type of hall. The place was packed. And it was a buffett. Crap. Nothing is worse than seeing chinese people at a buffett. Well, its not the worst thing, but its not a pretty site. The people just scramble for food. There is no order. This is where lines/deli tickets would be perfect. It goes back to the time honored tradition of communist conditioning and rationing out of food to starving people. I was finally able to get some food. I actually stood in line for about 5 minutes. I had to lower myself to their level...i felt dirty. I sat down with some of the group members. There was a performance starting on stage.
The modern chinese people have cultural confusion. The first act had a bunch of girls on stage in some traditional style of chinese outfit for the region, but they were doing a mix of chinese and hip hop dancing while wearing Cowboy hats. I just lowered my head and shook it. After they went off stage a Gourd Flute player came on and busted out some tunes. The mic on the flute was way too loud. Thankfully I finished my food quickly and bolted out of there. I went sightseeing around the place. Here are the fotos. After taking a bunch of fotos of the buildings and the bridge and the white stone memorial of Chinese Heros, I tried to get some decent fotos of that pavilion on top of the cliff. I asked how much it cost to enter the park. 20RMB. Koolio. here ya go.
I entered the park and found out right away that it was a peacock and chicken park and they got to roam free. Thats pretty cool. I walked all over the park snaggin fotos. I couldn't find the path to the pavilion so I walked up the super steep hill. The view from the pavillion was gorgeous. See the panorama. After the pavilion I walked down the opposite hill and talked to a little baby in the arms of her grandfather. I was walking down the hill not paying attention and I walked around a tree and there I stood 2 feet away from about 20 peacock females and chickens and roosters...whoops. I backed away and one peacock started to come after me. I jumped across the stream from a higher rock and the peacock jumped on the rock and jumped across as well. He extended his wings and floated to the ground. I am just gonna walk away. The thing kept following me to. I went over to a small temple and took a couple snapshots and then left.
After the park I walked over to look at some of the shops. I bought some Gelato that someone was selling. Kicking. Then Guo Sifu called me on my cell. He was asking when I would be back. I told him and he said thanks.
I headed to the bus and we were about to head out. I had noticed all day that Golf was not 100%. He threw up on the bus a couple times into a plastic bag and then just threw the bag out the window. It made me giggle in a kind hearted way. While the bus was stopped and we were waiting to leave, he dropped another bag out the window. So I kidded, "Um, you feeling ok Golf? You know there are trashcans." He cracked a smile. There was a trashcan not more than 10 feet from the bus. The bus headed out and we made our way to the Stone Forest.
Two hours later we got there. It was beautiful. The tour guide told us to stay with the group because it was very easy to get lost. I got scolded once for climbing some stairs to another area that she wouldn't take us too. Its not like I wouldn't be able to find you. Oh well. She is just doing her job. I was climbing on all the rocks to get good fotos. Check them out here. I don't know if the lady said not to climb on them or not, but I couldn't understand if she did. Besides, its not like I am gonna break them or make them dirty. Birds have already painted them white. There were some absolute spectacular views.
We also went into the Baiyun Cave that was there. The chinese really like to ligth things up. Houses, temples, trees, fireworks, cigarettes, and caves. They had every color imaginable down there lighting up the insdie of the cave. It was really neat. At one point they had a skeleton drawn on the wall with green flourescent paint so it would glow in the black light. Giggle. We then left the fave and walked around some more. We then headed back to the buses. There was a small horse that pulled a carraige for sightseeing. I petted the horse a bit, but then it got angry with me and NAHed at me. Ok, i am outtie. Then its cruel master approached me and tried to get me to take a ride. I pointed to the bus and said I couldn't. He smiled and seemed happy to talk to me. The place seemed dead, so I bet he was really bored.
We headed back to Kunming City. It took about 1.5 hours. We had dinner somewhere and then headed over to that Tea Shop inside the gorgeous shopping center I mentioned in the first journal entry of this trip. Boy was I uber-bored. It was another one of these Government Forced deals. I sat there really pooped. For some reason I wasn't in a good mood. I just felt that we were wasting our time with this junk when we could be seeing real stuff or spending more time at real stuff like more than 2 hours at the Lijiang Ancient city. We then headed back to the hotel we stayed the first nite at. I packed up all my junk and passed out on the bed.

Posted by Phil at 10:21 PM | Permalink

Woke up around 6 this morning. Took some of that medication that ZTG supplied me with. It hasn't been working at all really. As I headed out for breakfast, I didn't realize it was on the second floor across the patio. So I hopped in the elevator and there was some dude there. I realized at this point that the chinese people that I met that morning don't understand how elevators work. I got in the elevator from floor 3 and pressed the 1 button. The other guy in the elevator then pressed 5. um...huh? Of course, we went to the 5th floor, he walked out, looked around and said, "WTF" then got back on and gave an embarrassed smile. Oh, the elevator must have been going up and stopped at 3. But why the hell did the guy press 5? No clue. We then headed back down to 1. We got down to the 2nd floor and there were these women. This old lady got on and off the elevator three times and finally decided to stay on the third floor. Then a couple other folks got on and pressed 4. No wait! 3. Wait no 4. I was stuck in that elevator with these people for about 5 minutes. wow.
Finally figured out where breakfast was. I sat down next to the older couple thats on the tour, they are part of my table group. I have found that on these tours, whoever you sit with on the first meal of the trip is who you sit with for the rest of the trip. Very interesting. Fear of change or something like that. She asked me how my head was feeling and I motioned that my forehead and eyes were aching (like when you got that zone out feeling) and my nose was clogged, but my throat was fine. She threw a bag of medicine on the table. It turns out she is a doctor. (and now that I think about it, she may have been the lady that diagnosed my lack of food poisoning) She gave me two pills and then two potions. Thats right, she gave me potions. Two little glass vials with a hard straw to stab the cap with to drink out the medicine. God did it taste awful. They all laffed at the table. Then, for my throat, she gave me four pills to take. Jeez! A total of 10 pills (four from in my room from ZTG) and two potions. Man, for this type of thing back home, all I had to do was take one, that's right, one Sudafed 12 hour non-drowsy and I was fine. China needs Sudafed. She told me to drink lots of water.
We then headed out on the bus into town and stopped at a place by the Anceint City Entrance that we went to last nite. We got out and walked into the old city. We had another tourguid for this as well. I immediately ran and took a foto. The ZTG then came to me and told me that if I want to go off on my own or if we get seperated to meet back at the bus in two hours and be careful because this place has 36 entrances. wow. Alot. So, I scampered off thru the city on my own exploring. It was really good to see in the sunlite. The sun was fighting to come out again. It was bright then cloudy then bright again. I went into the back alleys to see the real places.
This is were I met another white person. Her name is Lauren and she has been here a bit. Her husband is in the Shoe Business. I wonder if the Triads have a hand in there as well. We chatted for awhile. She is from Dongguan I think which is just a few hours from Zhongshan. She and a few others drove out here by van. It took her four days but she says she was glad because they really got a great view of the chinese countryside. They had all the issues too. Yaks, goats, and broken down vehicles blocking the road. People running up to the side of the car peddling their wares. (i dunno about that last part, but it would be cool wouldn't it. It would be like in Indiana Jones whenever they drive thru the desert cities - Cairo and the middle east. A donkey and its cart blocking the road and people shoving stuff in your face. Hardcore. Then you get to ride a rail car thru a cave over molten lava.) She is from Colorado. Worked with K2 for some time testing equipment. Thats the job I need when I get home. Then came to China. She was at the Jade Dragon Snow Mt last nite as well and all her fellow travellers got altitude sickness and she mocked them. Well, she laffed, but didnt mock them. I would have mocked them. ;-) We mentioned that she and her husband are planning to stay here for the long term and she wants to learn the language real well. She asked how long I was in for and I was like, my contract is up, I am totally out of here. I aint ever doing business with the chinese again. That brought us to where we both agreed on feelings about the chinese.
You will find that when foreign teachers get together in China, they all have pretty much the same feelings about China. Except Toby. We all love the land, art, and history, its gorgeous. But when it comes to the people, we all have bittersweet tastes in our mouths. We both agreed that we both hate generalizing about the chinese as a people in a negative way, but that the chinese make it soooooooo easy. She mentioned that she has been here for awhile and that she still feels that she has yet to meet a chinese person that does not have a hidden agenda. She has many chinese friends, but she just has yet to meet one to trust all the way. Me, I can't really make that statement 100% yet.
-----And ****, if you are reading this, Lauren is from Colorado, therefore not a Yankee and she has some of the same opinions as me. I dare you to come to this country for more than 6 months and work among the chinese as I have and if you do not feel just a bit the same way about the chinese as I do, then kudos to you.----- So anyway. I met a very cool person from home and in a very cool place. We exchanged emails and fone numbers.
I ran off to take more fotos. I found some awesome views of all the rooftops of the city. Absolutely gorgeous. Check out the fotos of Lijiang Ancient City in the daytime. Fotos. As I was coming down from the rooftops, I ran into the gang again going in the opposite direction. I started going around with them and checking stuff out. Sue, Wife Lady, and I did one of those dress up in ancient chinese garb. It was quite humorous. Check out the fotos.
About 15 minutes before I had to leave, I ran to a camera shop to have all my fotos transfered. This guy was really slow, I mean, it worked, and he was super nice, but he was really slow. It was like he someone hit is slowmotion button or something. I then headed back to the bus. But I got lost. I went down the wrong street. I had to have a woman working a fone store talk to Golf to figure out where I was. Boy, am I a jackass.
They showed up about 10 minutes later and we met up with everyone for lunch. The doctor asked me how I was feeling and I told her great. Everything was fine. I had to blow my nose hardly at all. It was all clear. Very nice. After dinner we spent 6 hours driving to Chuxiong for some reason. It was a gorgeous bus ride. I enjoyed it alot. We drove back thru Dali to head to Chuxiong. It was pretty funny to drive by there again. I was like....lets go! The drive to Chuxiong was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. The sun was out and it was on this drive that I got some of the best fotos of the countryside. When we finally got to Chuxiong we had some dinner. The a few of us went to a computer bar so we could check our email and so Golf could transfer fotos.
Boy was that an experience. While I was waiting for Golf to finish his stuff (there were no computers open but one) I was looking at all the chinese folk playing computer games. Most of them were playing the same thing. I dont know the name of this one, I was unfamiliar with it. Some guy came running up the stairs bringing a bunch of food for everyone. While I was standing around, folks were lifting their heads from their computers and performing doubletakes. Surprised to see a white person in their mists. I painfully watched as this one guy sitting next to Golf was trying to play Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. I was like, NO! NO! You do this! He just sat there while he ran into the ocean, drove into the ocean, and allowed himself to be pummeled by the police officer. He giggled everytime he died. Either he was having fun with the game or he enjoyed making a white man drown in the water and get pummeled by the police. I think it was the former, I don't believe he knew the controls. I checked my email and responded to a couple and then headed out. I was super duper tired and I passed out on the bed at 9pm.

Posted by Phil at 06:40 PM | Permalink

Woke up early again. On my way to breakfast I took a bunch of fotos of the hotel and surrounding areas. The sun coming up in the east contrasted big time with the dark clouds clinging to the mountains that we were staying at the base of.
We hopped on the bus and headed out at 8am for Lijiang. There were stops on the way. Of course there was more gorgeous mt driving. I loved it. There were more villages on this drive, alot more. Around 1100AM we drove into this large town area. It was called the white country village "Bai Ju Wen Hua Chun". Gorgeous. Fotos. Very bright, sun was shining with no clouds. The ground reflected the sun alot, somehow. Maybe thats why they call it the white village. Well, they call Yunnan "the white country", so I mean, well...whatever. The bus drove thru the area and pulled up to a very fancy place. I believe the name of this place was Xin Hua. I don't know the translation of this. This was a very touristy place. Over 50 buses were parked inside its gates. There was a building for souvenirs, medicine, a tibetan buddhist museum that wasn't yet in operation, a restaurant, a hotel, and a food store. I walked around this gorgeous tourist trap and took fotos n video. It was very pretty. Its kinda funny how these tours take us to the fancy touristy places and not to modern day things. I guess thats not what most people want to see. Personally, I would like to see more of everyday things in this area. The villages were by far one of the most spectacular things to see.
After the bus spent about 30 minutes sitting in the corner with the windows closed, it became an oven from the bright sun. It was cold outside but burning up in the bus. There are always extremes in China, its either one or the other. ;-) After someone opened the windows and closed the shades, it cooled down quickly. I was busy running outside the tourist gate to the land of the locals to take some shots of the tourist place. I was mobbed with people wanting to sell me things. I looked around to see if I could find anything from the expensive store out here for cheaper, and if they had anything worth getting. Nope. I went back in and asked where I could get some OJ. I had seen tons of people walking around with meat and animals cooked on sticks, but I couldn't find them. I was told they were down an alley and around the corner. Aaaah. I found the spot and there were tons of people selling various things on a stick. Someone shoved a stick with five cockroaches skewerd and cooked on it. "What won't make me vomit?" I just grabbed an OJ and took off.
As we sat in the bus waiting for the rest of the gang to take their seats, there was another bus next to us. There was a cute little girl plastered against the window looking off into space. I caught her attention and waved to her. She opened up the window and stuck her head out and started babbling to me. It was so adorable. I grabbed some fotos and I took some video. She loved it. I was asking her questions. Her mom sitting next to her was loving it, she was really enjoying it. The bus then took off and she waved goodbye and said some stuff in Chinese. It was really cute. A few moments later, our bus left and we headed out again for Lijiang. I took some fotos of the people on the bus.
It took us about an hour or two to finally get to Lijiang. We drove into the modern city and stopped off at a hotel. Lunch was ok. At the end of eating i was lifting myself out of the chair when the arm snapped right off. Wow...I guess I am fat. For a few minutes the whole table was giggling and I was trying to get the arm to stick back into its position. I finally got it to stay on there by itself. Then Kevin came running by cause he was playing with Ying Ying and he bumped into my chair and knocked the arm off again. "WHAT'D YOU DO!?" (ala Tommy Boy) He was stunned for a second and then took off running around like nothing happened. The table started laffing again. I then showed a hotel service woman that was cleaning the tables the destruction I had wrought and she just shook her head. I told her I was sorry. She just shook her head. "gweilo". Its not my fault your chairs suck.
We then took the bus out to Jade Dragon Snow Mountian. This was kool. Here are some fotos. We drove a deserted road along the side of the mountain. As we climbed higher, it started snowing. YES! SNOW!!! So wonderful. It was wet snow, great for packing, but easily melted once it got to the ground. Higher up in the mountian though there was much more packing snow. It was the first time for most of the tour group to actually see snow in real life and not on TV or in books. It was cool to witness that.
As we came around a bend in the mountain road we came to a bridge that went over the river created by the run off from the mountain. What the chinese have done with this was gorgeous. They made a man-made water fall and had it go below a man-made flat that people could walk on. The bridge went over the flat. On the flat they had Yak Rides and foto ops. This was a gorgeous sight, I hope that we stop down there. We just drove over the bridge and up towards the chairlift.
As we pulled up to Tourist Center by the chairlift, the Mountain Tour Guide (MTG) told us that the locals here are very impolite. They don't want fotos taken, they don't want to be stared at (but its ok to stare at white folk), and they are very sneaky so don't buy anything from them. Thanks for the tip. We got in line for the chairlift. Aaaah, i want to go skiing. There was a great Chinglish sign warning honorific passengers to use danger caution. Quite humorous. Golf and I hopped onto the lift and headed up. I had my cameras ready, but there really wasn't anything worth taking shots of. I see all this stuff whenever I go skiing.
After a long cold ride up the lift, Golf hand's were shaking, he had no gloves. He was so happy to see all the snow. He was taking fotos left and right. As we started to walk along the woodened walkway, people of our tour group that have never seen snow jumped over the railing into the snow and started trying to pelt each other with handfuls of snow. It was really humorous. "My hands are freezing!" Duh...its snow! Since they had never seen snow they didn't know how to make snowballs. They were just grabbing handfuls of snow and throwing it. It would break up and scatter at a distance of one foot so no one they tried to hit would get hit. So, I hopped the fence and made a few snowballs and pelted everyone in the snowfight. I then showed them how to make the balls. Some of them got it, some of them didn't. It was kool though, instead of walking on the walkway, we were all running along the side in the snow having snowball fights and I taught a few folks just what a "whitewash" is. Mwha ha ha ha! I got some of that first fight on video. After a while I started walking along the path to see the rest of the area. Every once in a while a snowball would land at my feet or next to me or I felt one whiz by. Bastards, after I that I taught you.
I got to the end of the walkway where they had a military guard who obviously hated his job yelling at people to go no farther. In the distance was the rest of the peak. I was hoping that we would go to the top and that there was like a temple at the top, but nope. So I headed back. This area there were some more donkeys for donkey rides and who I think were locals. They wore this big fur had with i 3-4 foot long feather sticking out the top. They then wore what looked like a rug/cap and some other stuff. It was kool. I sneakily grabbed some camera and video shots. I started going back the way I came and Sue, Wife Girl, Husband Boy, ZTG, Spaz, and Golf were making a snowman...well, snow woman while using Golf's tripod as the base. They packed snow around it and placed a big ball on the top. That's not how you do it, but it worked sorta. They were using donkey droppings as eyes. They had grabbed twigs and used them as chopsticks to place the dung eyes on the snowwoman. I guess you work with what you got.
After taking some group fotos we had to head back. On the way back we got in more snowball fights. When we finally got back to the chairlift, it was like a wait for a rollercoaster at Cedar Point. Chen and a couple others smuggled snowballs into the line and were pelting me with them everytime they passed by me in the line. It seemed that everytime we would pass, I would just forget that they had an arsenal. I was able to get them back with their own stuff a few times, but they got me good once and the entire line started laffing at me. "That's right! You suckas laff at the gweilo now, you will be sorry soon enuff. You can play me like that once, twice, or even a thousand times, but the Law of Averages states that you are going down!"
Golf and I took the chairlift down again and this time there was a wonderful view. It was spectacular. We were above all the trees, the mountain was there in the distance, the trees from the lift to the mountain were like a green carpet. And it was completely silent. Amazing. Breathtaking. Got to the bottom and headed for the bus to warm up. The bus headed down to the bridge that I mentioned early and we stopped. Sweet! I get to take some fotos and ride a yak! Something I have always wanted to do...ride a yak. I grabbed a couple fotos then ran down to get a yak ride. Chen took a couple fotos for me and his wife grabbed some video. Awesome. We got back on the bus and I thought we were headed out to dinner. But we stopped again at this medicine shop on the way down the mountain. The place sold many herbs and tea. Great, maybe a place that can demonstrate how chinese medicine can cure my stuffy nose. I explained to the girls at the desk about my nose and they said they had nothing for me. What? A medicine shop has no medication for the common cold? What kind of scam shop is this? Then Golf explained in more detail and they were all like, OOOOooooh. They took me bin that had some roots that looked like giant dried maggots. Totally gross. I ain't touching that. They wanted 150RMB for a handful so i laffed in their face. I can deal with a couple more days of discomfort. Then we really headed to dinner after that.
Dinner was interesting. The food here was fantastic. Tasted great. Everyone scarffed it down. It may have been because we were really hungry from playing in the snow. While we were eating, they started an art auction. Kool. There was lots of stuff this guy was selling. Some really classy chinese stuff and some not so classy. Some of it looked good, others didn't. There was a couple mountain views that a couple people got. The first one that turned me on was this nice small picture that I thought was going for 13RMB because Chen kept saying "13, 13, 13", I was like sweet! I went up there and said "Yi shi san?" - "No, San Shi"....oooooh, you meant 30 not 13. I have noticed that is an issue. Golf said a shirt that cost 60 RMB cost 16 RMB. And thats not the gweilo factor either.
Later, I was able to get the tree branch with snow under the sun. Very big and very cheap, only 100RMB. They wanted 120, but I just stood there for 5 minutes saying, "Yi Bai." Some of the ladies in the tour group thought this was hilarious. The sellers were like 120, and I just kept sayin 100. They finally relented. Sweet. I am picking up this haggling thing pretty well.
We headed out to the buses to head to the hotel. I was trying to find foto transfers for my shots, but they were super expenisve, 30RMB. Wow! damn. Golf and I tried to ask the hotel people if we could use their computers to transfer some stuff onto his portable harddrive. They finally said sure. The kodak store next door wanted 20RMB. The bellhop took us to a corner where a monitor sat under a blanket. Strange. He turned it on and realize that there was no mouse. Great. Genious. Oh well. Another solution will present itself. We waited for Chen to come downstairs, he still hadn't show up. So we called him and he said he was already at the town. We need to snag a taxi. Ok. Golf, Spaz, a woman, her son, granny, and I crammed into a taxi and headed out. As we were heading towards the ancient city, I was sitting next to granny and she started to reach over me to grab the window to grab the knob, but she didn't grab the window knob. I yelped loud and she got all red in the face and I realized that she wanted the window rolled down a bit, so I took care of it. I can't believe I got felt up by a grandma.
We got to the city and got out. It was like clowns coming out of a clown car. Golf called Chen to find out where he was then ZTG and a few others showed up. The whole gang back together again. The gang kept losing me cause I stopped to take fotos. Then, the girls started shopping. Lijiang is a gorgeous city but its shops are little and far between in the sense of variety. There are a total of about 6 styles of shops. The "local ethnic clothes" shops, the "local ethnic art" shop, the "gourd flute" shop, the "ethnic jewelry" shop, the "souvenir" shop, and the "antique" shop. Now, these 6 shops would repeat themselves in no particular order 3x. Then there would be a random shop that doesn't fit the others description. Also, sometimes there was a small performance theatre of culture dances and music, which is kool. Thats all it was. The girls would go into every friggin store and not buy anyting. Its the same crap at each place! Literally, the shops were selling the same thing. There was hardly any variety. Welcome to Communist Tourist China. So, I would walk down the street, look to see if I randomly found something kool. When I didn't I would go take some fotos. I would then head back to the store where the gang was still at. Or, sometimes, Spaz would walk out in the street and yell my name out "Fei Long! Fei Long!" Shut up!
At one place I stopped, there was a dog chained to the wall so I started playing with him. He must not get lots of attention because he was super happy to see me. I then headed elsewhere. I bought a kool shirt made of canvas. Its black, has the chinese cloth buttons, a mandarin collar, and its got two gold dragons on either side of the buttons. Pretty neat. I walked around and took fotos of different things. After a little while, Spaz's father showed up with Ying Ying's father and they were both noticeably drunk. Ying Ying and her mother were in close tow. Spaz's father was treatin me like a monkey and it was getting me real frustrated. He treated me different from the others. The others took me in as one of them and I felt honored but then Spaz's father just wanted to hang with me because I was a gweilo. I mean, he prolly didnt mean to do it, but it was really frustrating and annoying. I know i don't describe it very well, but it just felt like I was prodded. I know that if that **** guy from a previous comment he posted () reads this he will say that I am some ignorant loud mouth yank who thinks everything should be my way or the highway and that I am out of touch with other cultures, but no, I am not, this guy was just making me feel crappy. You had to be there I guess. That **** guy obviously has no idea whats going on or who I am. Hey, if you want to let your liberal heart bleed, be my guest, let it bleed, I enjoy the posts. But one thing I would like for you to do is make sure you know the facts or walk in my shoes. ;-) tee hee.
By this time I was getting really tired walking around and the snowball fight at the mountain earlier took alot out of me. Plus I could not breathe out of my nose at all. The younger folks decided to go hit up a bar. Ugh. I could barely drink the beer. When I would drink the cold stuff my nose would get worse, then I would have some skewerd meat on a stick and it would open my nose up, then the beer would close it. I hate being a party pooper. At 1130PM we headed bck to the hotel. I fell asleep right away.

Posted by Phil at 10:58 PM | Permalink

Kunming to Dali
We got on the bust at 800AM this morning after breakfast and headed out for Dali. Its ~4 hour drive by bus thru the mountains. It took about 4.5 hours because we stopped at a couple places for gas and stretching. I knew signing up for this tour that there was gonna be a lot of time spent on the bus, many long bus drives between cities. However, I am super glad that we took bus rides. It was absolutely breathtaking. The country side, not the bus. I tried to take as many pictures of the gorgeous chinese countryside as possilbe. I can't express enuff how gorgeous it was. Words can't really describe it and my fotos thru the bus window don't do justice either.
Once we got out of Kunming City, the mountains started pretty soon. I knew right as we started out that I was not gonna want to sleep on these long bus rides from town to town. We passed an uncountable number of small chinese mountain villages. This is the China you saw in text books growing up: The small communities, old traditions, and old style architecture. There was lots of earthy reds contrasting wiht the faded black roofs of stone or slate. Each house looked as if it was packed onto or next to another. There seemed to be no real formulated layout as to where to build houses. Just throw a house out and see where it lands. The houses would follow the slope of the mountain or where they terraformed the mountainside. This made it look as the house had grown out of the grown because some thin patches of wheat? were growing on some roofs.
Speaking of Terraforming Mars Now!, the terraforming of the mountains just added more to the view. With its crops, it added nice contrasting vibrant greens and yellows to a landscape dominated by reds, browns, greys, and blacks. The occasional small lake or pond at the bottom of the hillsides added even more.
While taking fotos, I had trouble with the road, trees lining the road, bumps on the road, bus windown, and low level light conditinos (it was overcast and sprinkling off and on) causing blurred or crappy fotos. I wish I had a special panorama mount for the side of the bus. We stopped off at one SINOPEC to gas up and stretch arond 930AM. We stopped again at 11AM to stretch. At the second stop, I tried to call Yumi in Japan for Valentine's Day. I got an answering machine with someone talking all Samurai like. I asumed it to be Yumi's Japanese cellfone so I left a message. The damn thing cut me off. We headed off towards Dali again.
We had to climb higher up in the mountains on a secondary road because they were creating a bigger road. It wasn't bad like it would be in the US because there was barely any other vehicles driving thru the mountains. The occasional tourbus, van, pickup truck. We would always get stuck behind a hauler moving at a snail's pace. It would take forever to get thru the mountains at that speed. Oh, the chinese like to pass on curves, especially when they can't see around them. I can't count the number of times he passed people on curves or whnen he would pull out in front of oncoming traffice. Aiya.
The higher we got in the Mts, the more spectacular the views got. Passing over bridges stretching across deep ravines that flowed into countryside sprinkled with small villages, amazing. At one point we were coming around the bend from one part of the mtside and we drove right into the clouds. The mtside across the gap from us was blanketed in clouds. We couldn't see below the bridges. Fantastic. We then entered a tunnel that took us thru a mt. We come out and there were still clouds all around.
We finally arrived at the Modern Dali City and headed straight for lunch. It was sprinkling. I called Yumi after lunch and left another meessage and got cut off again. DAMNIT! So much food. Damn MSG!
We took the bus around the city and we drove to a sightseeing place by the sea. It had raied here hard yesterday or so. This is where we met another Zhongshan tourgroup. A few of us walked to the pier and looked at the sea. It was a very muddy walk. Eeeew, the bus driver is gonna yell at me. The mud was yellow and red. Chinese like the chinese flag! I got to the end of the pier and took a panorama of the city and mts across the sea: 14 shots i think. We then walked back. By the time we got back to the buses, it started raining a bit harder.
We headed to Dali's Old City. What a beauty. ~1000 years old. The buildings looked their age but the interior was all modern updating. Very interesting contrast. It was raining muhc harder and got real windy. We drove thru part of the city and got to one of the 4 direction gates. we went to the top of the hall that was an overlook of the city, it also contained a stage for viewing of Traditional Dali Dance and Music while having traditional snacks. The outfits worn by this chinese minority are very cool and pretty. I like the headdresses worn by the women. I videotaped all the performances. The actual dances and songs I thought were pretty lame, but hey, decide yourself. The best part of the show is when they asked audience members the ingredients of a soup-drink. I was the only white folk there and the Sucka MC came over to ask me about the drink. She started spouting off in Putonghua and I was like, "Wo bu dong." :D That got a laff out of the surrounding chinese. She asked a few others. Those who got it right got to go on stage and learn a dance. Chen, the guy I sit next to on the bus and father of Kevin, got to go on stage. It was quite humorous.
After the show was over, we headed to this famous Dali Rock shop. It was another of those government forced visits. This is how the tourist trade works here: They take rocks from the mts and turn them into all sorts of things. Statues, chairs, chess pieces, vases, and they take slabs of rock and frame them. Sounds dumb, but this stuff if very pretty. Of course, its uber-expensive in the shop because the people need to make commissions. Of course there were lots of things I wanted bu then I thought: 1. where the hell am I gonna put it? 2. How am I gonna get it home? 3. Whats its use? -Nothing. Basically its just prettty junk thats useless. Just another thing to lug around and collect dust. Another thing to clean and I had enuff of that B.S. as a kid to last me five lifetimes. I wanted those chinese chess pieces though. They were 100RMB, but the people wouldn't haggle. I will wait to see if I find them at a street vendors by the city.
As I entered the shop, a saleswoman was assigned to me. I had a young attractive maiden (because an old ugly widow wouldn't be able to sell as well) fixed to me on a 2 foot leash tied at the waist. This girl walked up to me from the buffett line and just started talking to me like I was chinese. I smiled a nice "Wo bu dong". I then headed off to look at stuff. I noticed that she was following me around. Everything I looked at, she would come up and start telling me about it. "Lady, do you see that I am white and have no idea what your saying, or are you so drilled in what you are saying that it doesn't register?" :D After many minutes of looking around and having her speak to me after I continuously tell her "Wo bu dong" i decided give her a taste of her own medicine. I began speaking to her in English, "What rock is this. How much is this? Oooh, what is the significance of this Buddha statuette? Have you ever watched Star Trek? You know, you shouldn't waste your time on me. I don't plan on buying anything. See how it feels when you can't understand. You're a pretty girl but it just wouldn't work out between us. I am a white devil and you are a chinese woman. Chinese women are crazy. I have never met and gotten to know well a stable chinese woman. I am sure they are somwehere but I have never met one." After I finished talking to her and finding that that didn't work, I was like, Screw it! I am gonna lose here. I performed many Pick N Rolls and Duck N Covers, but this girl was on my ass like toilet paper on a shoe. After a bit of travelling around and looking at all the junk, I think she realized to cut her losses and move on.
After the rock shop, we drove the bus to Foreigner's St, which is a commmercial area of Old Dali with bars n stuff and some western food. The name misleads you though, I only saw two other foreigners. It was raining lightly and I paired up with Golf. Despite it being "Foreigner's St.", it was still old school. We walked around together and took lots of fotos. Golf is a photophile as well. We went into back alleys and took fotos. After about 30 minutes, it stopped raining and the sun tried to come out. It was coming out over on the opposing mountains across the horizon, but the moutnain we were next to had this forboding black cloud trapped against the mountain and it would not leave. We were to meet the group at a certain area but we got lost. we easily found our way thou. It was at this point that I tried to call the ZTG to get our bairings and found out that I sucked up all my minutes/money tryin to call Japan. Shoot.
On our way back to the bus, it started to sprinkle again. While running thru the street I found a vendor selling those chess pieces for ~70RMB. I was able to talk her down to 50. She relented as we turned away. Kool. They are heavy. We then sat in the bus for awhile because the bus had gotten stuck in a corner with many other buses. We headed to dinner when we got done. It was a packed 4 story place with very slippery stairs.
from dinner we went to the hotel. Absolutely gorgeous. There were 3 large Stupas/Pagodas lit up in the nite sky and the layout an location of the hotel was superb, see the fotos.
After unpacking ,a few of us went into the old city. WE took fotos together posing with flowers because of V-Day. Goofing around n stuff. A couple had rented out a bar and covered the floor with rose petals and lit the place up with candles. All the girls in our group were standing around by the door just waiting to catch a glimpse of the couple and oogle at the lack of male testosterone. ;-) LEAVE THEM BE!
As they stood around doing nothing and wishing they had a boyfriend that would do the same, I walked around and played with a dog, had my fotos put onto a CD-R, tried to buy a card for fone minutes but a Yunnan card wouldn't work on a Zhongshan fone. God forbid a traveller may need to put money on his fone in another province. I found some funny graffiti on a wall.
We R Muppets
No Celine Dion
(obviously written by foreigners)
And to send the message home, an elevator version of Celine Dion's "My Heart will Go on" was playing over a speaker. ugh.
In an antique shop i found some old swords. Real ones. Three old rusted out and bent katanas. One was actually nice even though it was bent up. I should have gotten it, I think he wanted 300RMB. There was also this bad ass heavy chinese sword. It was double bladed and it was real, but it was dusted, rusted, and bent up. But classy. The guy told me it cost 1600RMB and I laughed for about 1 minute in his face. I told him 500RMB and he kicked me out of the store. It must have weighed 15 pounds. I wanted it.
We goofed around then headed back to the hotel and slept. They turned off the pagoda lites. CRAP! I anted to get some nite shots. phoeey. Good nite everyone.

Posted by Phil at 09:51 PM | Permalink

Woke up at 4am this morning. Jeez. Proceeded to get ready. I was just about to finish putting on my clothes when the taxi guy called me at 445AM. I had no idea what he was saying. He was just rattlin' off some Beijing Babble. I figured he was telling me that he was waiting for me at the post office, so I booked it out of the house. I was skipping down the street to the post office. Actually, i was walking really fast, almost at a trot.
As I got closer, I thought he seemed to be happy to see me at 500AM in the morning. As I opened the cab door, the roof light showed his grin to be ear to ear...like in that Warrant video for "Cherry Pie". Maybe he has never had a fair fare before. (You like that little play on words? I just thought it up.) He said, "Guo Ji Zuo Dian ma?" which is "International Hotel?" I was like...yuppers. I followed that with a wink of the eye, a raised corner of my smile, a click of my tongue, and a thumbs up.
This guy was flying down the highway...the four lane highway with stop lights. I was trying to sleep, but I was afraid of not waking up. He had to be going 140km/h because we arrived in Shiqi in like 28 minutes. I always fear some chinese kid or adult would be walking across the street and not look both ways, because chinese people seem to miss that concept especially during rush hour.
I arrived at the hotel all in one piece. I gave the guy 60RMB. It was uber expensive because it was so early in the morning. I walked into the hotel and looked at all the Chinese New Year decorations and I tried to ask the bartender/frontdesk dude where I could get some OJ. My throat was giving me a tingling feeling. The Shiqi Tour Leader (future reference will be STL) came up to me after I finished drinking from the toilet and asked, "Are you Phir?"
Yes, I am "Phir". How could she guess that I was her token gweilo for the tour group? Because, I was the only gweilo in all of China signed up to go to Kunming with a tour group. She took me to the bus. I got on and the first thing I saw was a woman with a perm (a major 'no-no' for chinese women btw). She sees me and her eyes widen in shock. I am not kidding. "What's wrong? It looks like you have just seen a ghost."
I fell asleep on the bumpy bus ride to the airport. We finally got there and sat down in the waiting area. When I arose from my lack of sleep induced coma, I looked over and off in the distance I saw two girls wearing those shoes that have the pop out rollerskate wheels. At first, it didn't quite register and I was like, "Hey, the floor must be really slippery. You can see their reflection in it. Oh look! Here comes the Zamboni...oh wait...thats just a baggage car/fat people carrier and those are shoes." It was very elegant, oddly enough. And all this while listening to Ministry's "Thieves".
A chinese guy started talking to me. He seemed about my age. His English was OK. He needed more practice, but I was happy. YES! ENGLISH SPEAKERS! His English name was, get this: Golf. At first I thought he was saying his Chinese name (because his Chinese name is Go Fu), but no, he was saying Golf. He made the swing of a club motion and said, "you know...GOLF". Aaaaah. Gotcha. He said my hair looked very sharp. Um...thanks...dude....i like chicks.
He is here on his own as well. He works in Zhongshan making ducts. Well, that's what I could understand, he didnt know the english of what he does so he showed me. The airport was covered with them. I do know if he designs them or builds them or works on a conveyor belt like in "Lavern and Shirley". He told me that awhile ago he studied Hong Quan in Guangzhou. Kool. He asked if I would teach him. I was like, dude, you're chinese, I can teach you english, but I think you would lose face if a gweilo taught you gong fu. Besides, I think Guo Sifu would be pissed off if I tried teaching it to anyone.
We went thru the security checkpoints and I finally got some OJ. The OJ was uber-expensive, 12RMB. So, I layed into the seller...very polite like. "This is really expensive. How can you live with yourself knowing you are selling junk at this price? Personally, I would shoot myself." The two girls behind the counter did nothing but giggle awkwardly.
I then headed to the bathroom. Some dude left a yellow-green snot rocket on the side of the sink. It was huge too. I went and sat back down in the Gate waiting area, A24. A girl named Shoe...well...Sue introduced herself too me. She said, "You can call me Shoe." -Um...come again? "Sue" Great! Nice to meet you. I am Phir. She offered me a peice of candy. Well, that was nice. Thank you much.
Plane ride was uneventful. We got into Kunming and it was clear skies, well, blue with clouds. It was also 22C. A nice change from the past three weeks of overcast in Zhongshan. They say Kunming and this area of China only has one season, they call it Eternal Spring. It is dry and wet for 6 months out of the year. We boarded a bus and we were off. I noticed dark clouds closing in.
Our first stop was Green Lake. I walk all around for about 20 minutes alone then I ran into a family that sat next to me on the bus. I spent the rest of the time walking and talking with them. The husband and wife have one son, Kevin, who is super adorable. He is four years old and gets really excited when I look at him. Super hyper. I doubt he has seen many white folks. He likes to repeat what I say which is great. Chen, the father speaks very good English. Great! We walked around the lake and there were lots of folks making, listening to, and dancing to music. Bustin' out the jams. I brought out the video camera. You would think the audience would be looking at musicians, but nope, they were staring at me.
We had to be back at the bus at 315pm. Around 3 we headed back and it began to sprinkle. On our way out, the Kunming Tour Guide (future reference KTG) told us that today was the first day it has rained in three months. "That's right, Suckaz!! I brought the gloomy rain! In addition to that, I bring along pestilance, disease, destruction, common courtesy, and manners!" We headed to another park area where they honor the seagulls for some weird reason. Well, they don't really honor them, they just feed these winged rats bread so there are huges flocks of seagulls...with really bad hairdoos. :D
I think this place was called Da Guin since I had no idea what the tour guide was saying. But, it was a pretty park. From there we headed to dinner. It was 5pm. It was across the street from a hotel/tea shop/shopping mall that was designed like a Thai/Indian buddhist temple. I think I had the best sweet and sour pork in my life. Fantastica.
We headed to the hotel. I was on the 14th floor and the view was great. Dirty, but great. The ZTG brought me some chewable medicine tablets because I asked her where I could get some. After taking two, which are just chewable coughdrops, I decided that if we go to another stupid government mandated medicine shop like we did in Beijing, then I will try and squeeze a free treatment out of it. Around 8pm I headed out to find a kodak shop to transfer my pictures to CD. I then stopped at a DVD shop on the way back. I found tons of awesome junk. All the Transformer episodes. No Voltron thought, that woulda been hardcore. They also had some good movies too. But I didn't buy any of that stuff. I did buy "The Story of Ricky". "Arguably the most violent Hong Kong movie ever made...now totally uncut." This is the movie that the Daily Show lifted that guy smashing a head for the 5 Questions intro. Sweet. Can't wait to check it out.
I gots to get up at 630AM, sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 08:58 PM | Permalink

I woke up. After I took my shower, I was mopping up the floor and I heard the fone ringing. I ran to get it and I didnt recognize the number. I answered and it was Yumi. WOW! She called me from Japan. What a wonderful surprise. It was great to chat with her.
I called CASE in HK at 10AM to find out about my iPod and I got that same message. "Thank you for calling incompetant people. Business hours are closed. Please call back during normal business hours at 10AM to 8Pm Monday thru Saturday. Thank you."
um...it is normal business hours and its saturday. You should put on the message when you will be back in the office and why you are closed. But I guess that is too tough. I decided to call back every 10 minutes just to make sure and when I called at 1020AM, someone answered. So I said I would be there. I rushed to the Flower Hotel and the next ferry to catch was at 2pm and the shuttle left at 1215pm. It was 1045AM so I had some time to kill.
My old glasses that I brought along broke. I step on them once here in China and I bent them back into shape. However, doing so made them much weaker and during that wretched Bowen Camp, i finally broke them while I was trying to adjust them. Oh well. So, I decided to pick up a new pair here in China. Glasses here are super duper cheap. I could get a stylish and durable frame with good scratch resistance lenses for $24US.
I checked out a couple places on prices for frames and I found a place that had some cool frames for cheap and it was by my house. So, I was gonna go with that. By the time I had decided on what I wanted, it was 1130am. They kept speaking to me about something I didnt understand, turned out to be what type of lenses do you want. Basic, better, best, tinted, etc. I said I didnt understand, and they just continued to speak chinese to me... What part of "msec tang" do you not understand?
I called Jolene and I just asked a couple basic questions, and it took her about 10 minutes to ask them everything. I asked for the time they close...that question alone took 5 minutes to get. She kept getting and giving me information that was useless. It was just getting frustrated, becuase it was getting late.
I sat down for the eye exam, but they wouldn't start it out until 10 minutes were up, because of the chemical on the eyes left by contacts would ruin the test. Whatever, you prolly wont do it right anyway. They said the actual test would take 3 minutes. 15 minutes later the test was done. The glasses would be done at 2pm, so they would be ready when I got back from HK. It was 12:10pm by the time I got out of there. I told them about my time issue many times and they assured they could complete it by 12. but...nope.
I got to the Flower Hotel at 1215pm and just barely caught the shuttle bus. The ferry to HK was packed with people. I was very surprised. I have never seen it this packed. Leaving the ferry was a chore, there were 300 people trying to get thru one door all at once. Like John said last nite, "If any country was in need of deli tickets, its China." These people don't understand the concept of waiting in line. They just push and shove.
Once I got in HK I went straight to the CASE Office via the Subway. After I picked it up I took off and headed back to the ferry port and snagged a ticket for 6pm. Chinese/Hong Kongese people walk really friggin' slow. Its very irritating. I was in HK for a total of 2.5 hours. I got back to Xiaolan at 845pm. I then headed to the glasses shop to pick up my glasses.
And wouldn't you know it...I tried them on and I immediately said, "bu hou" (no good). I repeated it over an over again. They checked them over and put them on a machine for some adjustments and they still were wrong. Ugh! INCOMPETENCE ABOUNDS IN THIS COUNTRY! And it seems lIke I am the only one that deals with it all the time. The tailor, the travel agency, CASE, the eyeglass shop, etc. I mean, yes, I am a demanding person, I want things to be right, but I aint a prick about it. I mean, these people are certified eye-glass people. They had the diplomas and stuff hanging on the walls. I see tons of chinese with glasses. I can't believe that nobody in China has the same issue with their eyes that I do. Its not that uncommon: astigmatism, lazy left eye, and farsightedness or nearsightedness(i dont know which).
I called Amy and she talked to them. I told them that I would go home and get my old lenses to have them duplicate them. I ran back, dropped off my stuff, grabbed the glasses and headed back. They looked at the lenses and from what I could tell, they were clueless. I tried calling Amy back, but her fone was off. I tried calling Jolene, her fone wouldn't connect, I called Mountain, it wouldn't connect. Crap! Ugh! Then a few moments later Mountain called me back. He talked to them and they wanted to do the test over again. I tried to explain to them what is up with my eyes, but they didnt understand. I drew pictures and that didnt help. I told Mountain what the problem seems to be:
The lenses they created, the left one works with the left eye when the right eye is shut, the right works with the right eye when the left is shut, but when i open both eyes, it hurts and I can't focus on anything. I believe they failed in their test on my astigmatism or lazy eye. The thing is, my lazy eye isn't lazy anymore, I have strengthend it. I use contacts and I dont go cross eyed. I can't believe they could screw something like this up. I can't believe they couldn't find the problem, I am sure chinese people have the same problems as well. So, they gave me two options via Mountain.
1. Refund my money.
2. Try a different pair of frames. (apparently they felt that the location of the lenses may have caused the problems. I never heard anything so lame before. The issues is that they don't know what they are doing.
Being nice, I chose 2 after I told Mountain. I went outside and I chose a different set of frames and they looked at me like I was crazy. They tried to give me my money back, but I was like no i want you to try. So they started pricing out the other lenses. i was like YOU GAVE ME THE 2 OPTIONS! Screw it, I aint' dealing with you jackholes anymore, gimme my money.
I came home. Finished packing some stuff and just finished writing this journal. I am going to bed. I need to get up at 4am to get ready to leave for Kunming. I will be taking notes in a paper journal on the trip. Take care everyone. I will try and get lots of pictures.

Posted by Phil at 10:08 AM | Permalink

Today I had to get to the studio at 730AM since Shan Xiang is farther away. We didnt take off until about 750am because there were too many people on the bus and the driver wouldn't take us anywhere since there were too many. So sifu thru the dragon team into the van and followed. Driving to Shan Xiang was nice. The entire bus pretty much fell asleep after about 15 minutes. I was trying to visualize the forms in my head but I kept nodding off. It was a very scenic drive. Lots of mountains. Very pretty. We drove by the Sun Zhongshan park and i thought that maybe Shan Xiang was another name for the Zhongshan Gardens that we went to for Autumn festival. That would ruel. But, alas, it wasn't. It was another city a bit farther away.
Shan Xiang is a pretty big city. Its got alot of western style architecture and most of the places that Lion Team blessed was involved with this western wretchedness. A company named Agile. And in front of one of their complexes is where we held the big show. But, I have to say, the western style was much more pleasing to the eye than the tiled modern chinese buildings covered in filth. I guess the best way to describe it is to say it looked like a big casino with no lights or shiny things, just the gaudiness.
There isn't much to say about today. I mean, the performances were pretty much the same as the past two days. My performances went better today than yesterday in Guzhen. We were there a long time because we blessed two places around town and then had a long drawn out show. After the show was over, we packed up everything then drove about 5 minutes to someplace that gave us food. Outside along the road was a bunch of street vendors selling crap, like most places in China. I bought a switchblade for a 2/3 of what they wanted. I prolly could have gotten less, but I had an apple in my mouth. I never had a switch blade, so I got it for the novelty. I was looking for stuff to get as souvenirs for friends and family, but there is nothing but junk in China. I mean, there is nice stuff, but that is really expensive, and even then its just crap that takes up space and really doesn't do anything. It just sits there. Living here in China and barely watching TV or seeing advertisements, i don't buy useless crap really anymore. Hopefully when I get back to the States, I can keep it that way.
We headed back to Xiaolan and arrived at about 3pm or so. Everyone passed out on the bus on the way back. Riding my bike back to the house was a chore. Around the evening time i went to meet up with John and Jolene. My intention was to purchase a carry-on suitcase for my trip to Kunming, but it was way to expensive at the CRC. Jolene invited me over for dinner she was making. I was supposed to meet them in the CRC to shop for food for dinner after I bought some DV Tapes for Kunming, but they got sidetracked. I wasn't in the best mood for some reason. Tired i guess. After getting all the food we headed back. About 1 hour later or so Jolene had finished making food. It was really good. Very good. I took off around 9pm to pack up and maybe prepare for HK tomorrow. I was able to pack my stuff into a backpack so no need for extra luggage. Fell asleep around 1130. Its gonna be nice to sleep. :D
good nite.

Posted by Phil at 11:33 PM | Permalink

Today was what I was hoping Shunde was gonna be. Only problem was that I was grade A in Shunde and I was about Grade B- today. I am saddened by that, but I had lots of fun today. The plus side to my mistakes today is that one of the troop members was videotaping me and didn't really know how to use the camera, so he missed a few of my mistakes.
I got up early again and took a motorbike to the Yongling studio. There are less people here today. For some reason, which I chalk it up to lack of space, the dragons are coming today. That cuts out a bunch of folks. We just packed everyone into a couple cars and vans. Guzhen is a much smaller town and we went to an area that is very tightly packed. Guo Sifu drove the van I was in while his wife drove the car and we seperated from the equipment truck and another car. We got out of the van and had a small makeshift parade down an empty street towards a temple and stage/performance area. While dancing down the street, bit by bit we came upon more and more people, there was another Lion Dance troop already at the temple, I think it was the Guzhen troop. They had two lions. When our three lions arrived at the temple square, their lions inspected our lions and vice-versa...and they were sniffing butts just like dogs. They worked each other over and I was videotaping. An old guy came to yell at me to get out of the troops way and one of the team members explained I was in the team. This brought tons of stares my way from the Guzhen troop.
Greetings ended and I was the only non-chinese person there. Stares in Guzhen are much more super saturated in Guzhen because they dont ever see foreigners, Xiaolan and Shiqi are much more open relatively. We unpacked the truck and put the lion pedestals on the stage and then Guo Sifu mentioned for me to come with him. Some people stayed back to set up the pedestals. I flipped on the videocamera and walked with them our lions and the drummers. They had put the big drum on its rollers along with the cymbol stand and they rolled those down the street with the lions. We marched and followed the Guzhen troop around town. We arrived at the Guzhen Government building where our lions proceeded to bless the building and office rooms with its supernatural powers of non-corruption. Lets hope that this year it works, cause it never has. ;-)
All the while we were travelling around and blessing stuff in the streets and at the Government building, a couple fellas had those "pou jo" firecrackers that are super loud and they would throw them in the path of the lions, far ahead of the lions mind you, but ahead of them and the explosions would throw the red paper out like sprinking rose petals by the flower girl for the bride during a wedding. They were soooo friggin' loud. I really need to get some earplugs for tomorrow's festivites...and for sleep tonite. My last pair of earplugs fell on the ground and I dare not put those things back in my ears. The government building's outer layer is tile just like every other chinese construction and this caused the echo of the firecrackers to multiply the noise by a factor of "shut the hell up!" The worst place was in the stairwell because in addition to the most echo, there was no wind and the smoke from all the fireworks just hung in the air, I started to choke on the smoke, it was that bad.
After the government building we headed back to the Temple where they blessed the temple to be more honest with its congregation. The firecrackers here were almost as bad as in the Government building in the enclosed areas of the temple. I so wanted to take the firecrackers away or wished that his hand would get blown off. After we left the temple, someone had strapped a pole to a building column and at the end was a succession of vegetables tied up with bagged candy and sweets. The lions would go at each level and take turns. It got to the point where they were standing on each others shoulders and what not. Finally, the tallest guy was trying to get the second to last prize, but he couldn't cut it off and then he slipped a bit of the second's shoulders and he held onto the prize and pulled everything off the pole as he fell. He landed fine, he just lost his balance. No injuries. That drew cheers from the crowd.
While the lions sat on the ground fooling around with the spoils, Guo Sifu found me and told me to do Hong Quan in about 2 minutes. WHAT!? Apparently we aren't following the schedual he said we had. Great. I rushed some stretches and because of my hurridness, I didn't feel ready. I could give numbers of reason of why I made a few mistakes on the forms, but the number one reason that I made mistakes is that I still need more practice. I need to be able to do them without thinking, and that will take a bit more time. I am totally gonna practice at home when i get back. As I stretched a bit behind the spectators some people were staring at me and wondered, "Why is a white devil wearing a lion troop uniform?"
So, before I went on, there were three people there who spoke english that were taking fotos of stuff and they chatted with me. I went out in front of everyone and did Hong Quan #1. That one went fine. Then Sifu's daugther performed. I thought I was done, but then Sifu told me to go back on for #3. Crap. This is the one i goofed a bit on. I also slipped during it thru no fault of my own. Some kid had urinated on the ground again because Chinese people don't potty train their kids which could lead to the mental problems they have later on because potty training is considered a very important part of mind developement. John Irish and I have had many interesting conversations on this topic. So, anyways, the urine mixed together with the paper from those damn firecrackers and while I was doing my form I slipped on it, thankfully I caught my footing and went on with the form which drew some cheers, but my mind was already not where it should have been and my performance suffered. Lousy chinese culture. Pissing on the ground where people are performing. In the words of Kevin Meaney, "You're like a crazy person! Peeing on the ground whenever and whereever you want. That's not right!"
After the temple performances we went to the stage area. There were a couple lion dances and then Guo Sifu went up and talked a bit and on the spot I was told to do Hong Quan. CRAP! Oh well. The chinese way. So I did #1 and it was ok. I had change the form a bit because if not I would have fallen off the stage. Sifu's daughter went on, then another Wunderkind did a form then Guo Sifu put me on for #3 and this was better than during the Temple one. After I was done, Sifu's daughter told me that he wants me to say something for about 1 minute to the crowd. "What's the point, they can't understand me at all." Just say something for 1 minutes. Whatever.
I went up and I was about to start, I just said "Jo sun" (Cantonese goodmorning) and then some other sucka-MC pipped in with Mandarin and said some stuff. Then I got to speak. After the first sentence in English, the audience started to laugh. So I told them, "I realize that no one here understands what they hell I am saying, so I will make this quick." Sifu just stood their looking so happy like I had just cured cancer or something. The things chinese do for face. :D Guo Sifu rules though.
I only video taped the wushu performances and the pedestal dance, but I took fotos of the other acts. The pedestal dance was great. No mistakes taht I could see. He didnt fall today. The crowd went crazy for this one. It was great.
After that, the crowd dispersed and we packed up the truck. While doing so I had a few chinese people come up to me and give me the thumbs up and say stuff like, "Hun hou!" repeatedly. (means very good) and other things. It was very nice. One guy had 5 shiny metal teeth (chrome flavor prolly) on his lower jaw and I swear I think the other guy had wooden teeth. The guy with the metal must be a gangsta rapper. The things I notice. May God have mercy on me.
We packed up and headed back to Xiaolan. After we dropped some people off at the studio, Guo Sifu took us out to lunch. It was good. After we ate lunch, most people had left except for the Wunderkinden that needed to go back, me, and Guo Sifu. We were watching the news and a bit came on about Condoleeza Rice's trip to Europe and Middle East, but after a second it was on, the news was cut straight to a commericial. Then the commercial was cut back to the news for another story. I knew it was Condoleeza Rice because her grill his pretty unmistakeable. A news story about Chinese New Year in New York City came on. That was nice to see. After that Sifu drove me home. I have to meet them at 730AM tomorrow for our trip to ShanXiang. Great.
I went to go pick up a couple pair of pants I took to get repaired because I ripped them in the crotch and I forgot which repair shop I took them too. There are about 4 right in a row. However, I figured out that the one I took them to was closed. I will get them tomorrow. I came back here and started writing this journal entry.

Posted by Phil at 02:25 PM | Permalink

Kung Hei Fat Choy!!!
Thats the cantonese greeting that you say to one another during Chinese New Year. It means something like, May this year be prosperous. Something sappy. The Puntonghua is Gong Shi ....something something.
Woke up early again this morning. I barely got any sleep last nite because of those damn fireworks. Boy, am i gonna be tired today! I stepped out about 7AM to see if the Bau-tze shop was open or if anything was open so I could grab a bite to eat. I was utterly stunned by silence. The city looked like a ghost town. There was nothing going on. It felt like being in that scene from "Spirited Away" at the beginning. As I looked up and down the deserted streets, i was wondering if there was another cultural revolution. The streets were covered in scraps of blood-red paper from those fireworks like the bloodied shrapnel of chinese brains splattered upon the ground from public street executions.
I also searched for taxi bikes to take me to Yongling studio, but I saw none. They most have day off today. All the shops were closed. I headed back to the house and grabbed the bicycle and headed out at 730pm. I stopped at an open convenience store on the way there and grabbed some breakfast. On the way out I saw a motorbike taxi drive by. Great.
I got to the studio 10 minutes later. Everyone was wearing a snazzy "CHINA" jumpsuit. How do I get one!? Anywho, I was there and they gave me a gold sash to wear during the performance. About 8AM, John called me and said, "Where do we go." Jeez man. "Jolene knows, ask her." She got on the fone and I gave it to sifu. It was alright because we still hadn't everything packed yet. When we finally boarded the bus, it was packed tight. Shunde was about 30 minutes away. We got there about 845am and we started the show at 915pm. I got video of the whole performance except the last 2 minutes cause my tape ran out. It was actually quite boring. I love the lion dance, but there is a lot of waiting around in the dance where the lion hesitates doing anything. The lack of sleep was starting to wear on me. I did my performances and i felt pretty good about them. I watched them afterwards and I was quite surprised but still I am in need of practice. I need to make it more fluid. Its very choppy and you can see me thinking about the next move in a couple points. oh well...i think for a couple months practice its pretty good. I got two more days of this. At least the next couple days I can get decent sleep.
There is some good video I got. Some cute kids, chinese courtesy, and kids pissing on the ground right in front of everyone.
We left about 11AM and headed back here. On the bike ride home, the streets had gotten busier like they usually are, but there was also something different. All the streets were stained blood-red from water and urine mixing with the shrapnelled paper left over from blown out fireworks. The cleaning people came thru and sweeped it all up spreading the dye everywhere. John and Jolene came over. We ordered Pizza and watched some Simpsons. Jolene and John fell asleep on the couch. They left after that.
I sat down to write the past three days up on my computer. Nick finally showed up. He was in Shiqi last nite celebrating new Years with the ShiQi Bond people. Those that havn't gone home yet were partying at Boss Jane's pad and playing Mah-Jong. Neato.
We played a round of pool together while we caught up with each other. he is busy unpacking and stuff right now. Coolio.
Nothing much else to report. I need sleep tonite, I am tired from not very much last nite. I have to get up early, we are going to Guzhen for a performance. I have decided just to tape my stuff so I can study it and video tape a couple other things.
Goodnite. Happy Chinese New Year.

Posted by Phil at 02:48 PM | Permalink

We woke up this morning around 1100AM when the hosts showed up. Well, we got ready and out of bed at 11AM. We were up late goofing around last nite so we were tired. When we were completely out of bed, more host kids showed up. They started passing out the Hon Hing Lion Dance uniforms for us to wear. Great! Shiny green pants, super tight white shirt, used shoes, and calf wraps. Victor brushed his teeth and not a minute later he was smoking again. I wanted to smack him. We fooled around some more and then packed up the truck with tons of lion dance equipment.
We headed out. I sat in the prison seats by the window. After 20 minutes, I knew the girl from last night had no idea where TVB was at. It sure wasn't in Kowloon. After another 30 minutes of driving to an area of HK that looked barren save for some big industrial complexes, we arrived. It was 200pm. We unloaded and placed everything in the green room and then we sat around and had lunch.
When they said we would head to TVB at 2pm and practice Lion Dance n stuff, I thought they meant "practice" not sit around while all the other groups do show practice. We sat around the green room and in the TV Studio watching other groups do their routines. There were the hosts of the show on the other side, some dancers doing Red Streamers, and a bunch of little girls dressed as Chickens (year of the Cock) doing a horrific dance. I swear, the things that parents make their children do in the name of "cuteness" is downright abusive. This is universal, not just China. Around 3:45pm, I was fed up. I am bolting. I was planning to leave at 5pm to catch the 8pm ferry for sure, but I couldn't just do nothing for another 75 minutes. There was no where to do Hong Quan on my own. This way I can practice at home for tomorrow and get more sleep. I caught the subway and spent 30 minutes on it. I got to the ferry terminal a little bit before 5pm. I was able to get a ticket for the 530 ferry. Sweet. I snagged some gyoza and chicken skewers and headed out.
I called Amy while i was on the ferry to find out if Nick had arrived yet. I always was curious about the status of the trip, whether they have all the spots filled or not. Nick hadn't shown up yet, but the Agency called Amy today to let her know that they will pay for my 5AM taxi to Shiqi to leave on the bus to head to the Guangdong airport. Damn, that is early. However, Amy didnt ask about openings. Oh well. I can deal if Nick doesn't go, its not a big deal. It would just be nice to have someone who speaks english. We can check the openings tomorrow. Amy mentioned that John was back in town and he was over at the Big House having BBQ with Jolene and Moses and her. Sweet. Maybe they will be there when I get back. I still will practice for tomorrow. I hope I don't screw up the forms, I want to make all the chinese folk gasp with surprise at my superiority. ;-) Crap! I forgot to call and harass the CASE people. Oh well. I will do it on the 10th.
I arrived in Zhongshan about 7pm. I didnt mention this last time, but they completed work on the Zhongshan Ferry Port. Its super nice now. Its very friendly and pleasing to the eye...no more bleak communist design. The shuttle bus to Xiaolan doesn't leave till 8pm, so I started writing out this journal entry. As I started writing I was next to the TV in the waiting hall. There was this big festival going on in some Chinese city. The news people were able to corner a white guy and have him say some things on TV. He just said the normal crap about how its a cool thing to see and a good experience, etc etc etc. I have done that about 3 times already. Dude! Where is this festival taking place? Why can't I be there? That was the whole point of going to HK. I thought it being Chinese New Year and HK with one of the top lion troops in town, this would have been a giant event where we would go practice and meet tons of other people like a big seminar. Thats what I expected and hoped. My dreams were shattered. China tends to do that...they excel in destroying hopes and dreams. *couch* Cultural Revolution *cough*
Oh well, it wasn't a total loss. I bonded with some of the troop wunderkinden and met some new people. I am now 1 degree of seperation from Jackie Chan and many famous HK people. :D
As I am writing this on the curb waiting for the bus to leave, I hear fireworks out in the distance. Cool. One of the shuttle drivers is amazed at my handwriting. He said he doesn't understand but that it looks beautiful. Did I laugh, no. I am polite. The shuttle took off at 8pm.

I got back to the Big House about 840pm. We made really good time. I gave John a hug..."Brothers don't shake hands...brothers got to hug!" The BBQ they all made was fantastic. I told them about HK and told them about Shunde tomorrow and our performance. They were excited so I had Jolene call up Guo Sifu and she asked them if there was room for them on the bus, he said sure. So I told them to be there at 8am, none of this Foshan time (i said 8AM, they didnt show until 1pm). They were like, coolio.
We watched Hellraiser IV: Bloodlines. It wasn't that good. They kill Pinhead...YOU CAN'T KILL PINHEAD!
I checked my email. Guess what I got...and email from CASE saying that my iPod was ready on the 7th. SOB!!!!!!! What is wrong with these 'tards?! they need to communicate with each other. I mean, they did do what they would say, email and prolly call when it was ready, but I called a few hours earlier on the 7th and they said it would be back until the 14th. Ugh! Just another reminder to me and all you out there who aren't in China or its special governing areas, don't trust anything they say and constantly ask them questions about things that involve your time and your money. Otherwise, they won't do it.
So I sent an email back telling them off in a way. Now I have to go back again, I will do it saturday, the day I have off before I leave for Kunming. I got Lion Dance performances for the next 3 days.
I watched Kung Fu Hustle with Jolene and John and we chilled. I chatted with my bro before I went to bed. He auditioned for a reality show over the weekend that would follow the band INXS in search of a new front man to replace the old front man who accidentally committed suicide while trying to do some sexual asphixiation thing with a rope around his neck. He didnt get any call backs, but if INXS wants to succeed with quality, they should. He doubts he will be on TV or be recapped on the show. One of his friends performed "Baby Got Back" so he might make it on TV just for the hilariousness of the performance. My bro did an original, so did Don. While chatting with my bro, i realized falling asleep tonite will suck. Every five minutes, some chinese guy lights off "pou jo" or "bian pou" those huge wrappings of red fireworks that sound like a machine gun and last for about 30 seconds and leave tons of read paper all over the place. They are super loud and annoying. I got sick of them the 3rd day I was in China. And of course, they are so loud and cause enuff vibration that all the surrounding cars' alarms are set off. Great. Let's see what happens.
Well, time for bed. I practiced some Hong Quan before bed. Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 04:32 PM | Permalink

Woke up quite early this morning. Headed out of the house around 740AM to make sure I got to the Lion Dance Center in time. I snagged a motorbike and said "Yongling", thats the district that the lion dance setup is located. It also happens to be the name of the team I am apart of. The driver must have understood me because we went in the general direction. I pointed him the rest of the way.
They say that the Yongling District is a very rich district. Well...if this was a rich district, I would really hate to see the poor district. The house here look very expensive and I have no doubt that people have spent lots of money in this area. However, the houses have this weird look of gaudy Western architecture mixed with the Chinese love of tiles and house layouts (which i think is a cool layout) and went they put it together it is just downright ugly. Give me the old traditional style of Zhongshan Gardens or Wong Fei Hong's Museum in Foshan any day over this crap. The residences look very expensive, but no one seems to care about the surrounding landscape or foliage. The place looks like a hurrican ripped thru here just last nite. Overgrown vegetation, trees knocked over, crap laying all around, spotted grass fields. Pretty displeasing to the eye.
I think its partly chinese culture though. The layout for their houses causes it. Basically, you got this house with a 8 foot to 13 foot wall surrounding the plot of land. Inside they have picturesque gardens and other pleasurable viewing materials, i have been able to peer in thru some gates. They don't see the actual surrounding landscape unless they leave their house and the only time they do that is when they go to work. I am sure if they had to look at it every moment they were at home, then they would do something about it.
I get to the Lion Dance Center and there is this 1980s (looked 80s-ish, but most everything does here in China) blue Honda Mini-Van sitting outside the door. The driver was blaring horrible Canto-pop over the out of date speakers. I knocked on the blue door. One of the wunderkinden answered and let me in. I took some morning footage of their living quarters and them getting ready. A couple others planning to come to HK had arrived. Then Sifu arrived all full of energy. We packed 9 people into this mini-mini-van. We headed out to the Guo Tai Bus Station, the small one by me. We hopped a bus for shenzhen at 840AM. I had the first seat next to Guo Sifu.
One thing that needs a swift bullet to the head is Karaoke on buses. It should not be legal to have it on the whole 2.5 hour bus ride. It really wasn't bad, but it could have been. This girl that sat across the aisle from me pretty much sang along with almost every song. Guo Sifu sang along with a couple. Of course they weren't singing loud, but enuff that me and my hawk ears could hear it....what? Even in China karaoke videos are quite horrendous. I still love the one that had Jackie Chan, Leslie Cheung, Yeun Biao, and Andy Lau sitting around an Old West fashioned Boomtown corner that had a well, a blacksmith and a bar all within a 5 foot radius.
The sun was coming thru the front windsheild so i was wearing my police mirrors while I drifted in and out of sleep. My head was falling into the aisle, but most everyone on the bus was passed out. We arrived in Shenzhen and it was really crowded. I thought that from Shenzhen we would need to take a ferry boat ride, but I was wrong. Shezhen shares a boarder crossing with the north part of HK. After about 20 minutes of walking and going thru two passport checkpoints, we snagged a train to take us to the Hon Hing Train terminal (East Kowloon Area). The train ride was around 30 minutes and it was a glorified subway train, just a little more plush. This family got on at one stop and this little baby girl had the biggest cheeks I have ever seen on a baby before. She was infatuated with the red "Oh Shit!" handles dangling from the ceiling.
We got to the KRC station at Hon Hing where we waited for our ride. About 30 minutes later he showed up. We were picked up in a converted chinese fish truck. Well, it never really was a fish truck. If you have ever seen movies set in China/HK/Japan, its the trucks that carry fish. This carried Lion Dance equipment. Three people could fit in the front cab, then we had 5 crammed into the prison seats in the front of the trailer while two people stood up in the back of the trailer with all the equipment. If that ain't totally chinese, I don't know what is. I was at the left window and I stuck my camera out the window as we were driving around the spider web that is the Hong Kong road and Highway system. One of the wunderkinden vomited in the back of the truck from standing/sitting in the back of the truck. He better have not heaved onto my bag. I will be pissed.
The sun was out, the sky was considerably clear, and it was warm. A gorgeous day. So what did we do on a gorgeous day in HK after eating in a cafeteria over looking scenic Aberdeen Harbor? Nothing! I was so friggin bored for 2 hours! Basically, after lunch, we arrived at one of the practice studios this new Sifu makes use of. This is where we will be sleeping tonite. It looked like Chang Kai Shek's Family Junkyard. The place looked like a pig sty....wait...a lion sty. There was liond dance crap and trash all strewn about the place. Some workers cleaned it up quick and laid down the practice rug. Then everyone sat around doing nothing but sleeping for what seemed like forever. I kept asking the driver dude, "How do I get to Times Square? Where are we on the map? Where is the bank, I need to exchange money? Is there anything to do around here?" I got negative answers to all. The driver spoke english, he just didnt know anything. He claimed there was nothing to do at all. BS!
After 30 minutes I had already flipped thru all the magazines they had laying around in which they had stories on this Hon Hing Troop. I had also seen all the fotos the Hon Hing Sifu had taken with celebrities: Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, Simon Lam, and Tung Chee Wah (the commi ruler of HK) I think thats his name. Also, Andy Lau had done a bunch of foto advertisements for the New Year with some of the lions. They were quite humorous. "Hey Andy! Your stance is wrong."
I called CASE to find out the status of my iPod. The jerks said it wouldn't be ready tomorrow, yet they said it would. They said it would be ready by the 14th, Monday. I was like, I need it for my trip. "We are sorry for your inconvenience..." Bullshit, if you assholic chinese cared at all for your customers you wouldn't have said 3-5 days knowing full well in advance that you could not deliver. (all the people there when I turned my iPod in never got theres at least for 1.5-2weeks) I knew this would happen so I am just callling to be difficult and I will call again tomorrow.
Finally after sitting and staring at nothing while all the others took their afternoon nap (chinese people like to nap in the afternoon because they aren't grown up enough to handle the trials of the day), we headed to dinner. We hopped into the truck and drove all around the road system just so that we could go about 1 mile distance when we prolly traveled about 10 miles of road. Everything is so cramped here. We got to this diner and Victor ordered me some Chinese French Toast which was covered in liquid sugar and egg butter. Then they also gave me some terrible salsbury steak and eggs. At the diner we met some of the other teachers.
When we got back to the studio the head Hon Hing Sifu showed up while we goofed around. I was bored again. It took me 20 minutes to find out what was going on tomorrow. I talked with one of the comrades from Hon Hing troop. Her english was pretty good. Tomorrow we have practice at 2pm at the TV station where they will shoot the TV Program at midnite. Cool. She said TVB is located in Kowloon, so that means its pretty close to the China Star Ferry Terminal so i can hit it up at 8pm and get back intime to get a good sleep since I need to be in Shunde the day after that. So, to kill some time and appease the lion dance fanatics, i popped my tape of the Foshan lion dance troop to veiw it. The Hon Hing Sifu saw it and was watching it with me for about 5 minutes. He wants a copy. I mean, I think he wants a copy. His english was so messy I couldn't quite understand what he was saying. He then invited us all to dinner. Oh crap. Not again. I ain't hungry, oh well, I guess the MSG will take care of that. While at the crowded dinner table, I found room in my innards to pack some very good MSG ladened food away.
We headed back to the studio where the Hon Hing sifu wanted to watch the wunderkinden in action. The area that they practice the pedestal set up is on the roof. Its an amazing view, I was up there when we first arrived and its absolutely gorgeous. I got some fotos during the day and night. Very nice. It was 23 stories up. After that practice, Hon Hing sifu invited us back to his pimp pad and tried to seduce us with his many awards and trophies. Impressive. We chatted back and forth with everyone. Some folks speak english. Now, because they speak english, they think they are really cool, and acted all arrogant when they would talk to me. "English...no problem. I speaks english to you always." To bad its wrong. All I ask is that you try to speak english, I know that living in HK, these people have been taught it more than in China, don't be arrogant about it though because you aren't that good. Aiya.
We were taken to the roof here as well. This was on the 26th story. We were up there for about 5 minutes when the driver came running up the stairs with a handful of flames. He thru it into a pot and poked it with a stick with his other hand while he was sucking and blowing on his burnt hand. One of the english speakers showed up on the roof with two handfuls and then some of Money for the Dead. I figured thats what it was, but it seemed there was other stuff in there too. It looked like trash. "What's that..." I asked....
"Oh, its hard to explain to you."
-Try me, Prick. Just cause I ain't chinese don't mean I don't understand. After I said what it was, they all gasped, "WAH!, He's right! But he is still a gweilo."
I discussed my past gung fu experience with Siu Fei Long (Small Flying Dragon). We then went back to the pimp pad where i looked at some fotos. We then walked back to the other studio. I started writing this journal entry. After about two sentences in, some of the younger Hon Hing folks came over. They played some music while we all chatted. It was nice.
The host people left us so we could get ready for bed. I had to take my first chinese shower/bath. Basically, they had this giant bin filled with water. It had a heating wire at the bottom to heat the water. You take a bucket and pour it all over yourself, then soap yourself up, then dump another bucket on yourself. We were in the bathroom with a tile floor. By the time I got to go, i was last, the floor was under an inch of water and the water holder had very little water left. What was left was damn near scalding. I found this out when I tried to dump it on my chest. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I had to mix it up with water from the faucet. Talk about getting Hong Kong toe...this is the way to do it.
After the bath, I taught "Pull My Finger" to the chinese wunderkinden. They were speechless. It was quite humorous. Later on in the night they were doing it with each other. I have taught the chinese another valuable skill.
Now these wunderkinden are from poor families. In China, well, in the past, poor families that are too poor to care for their kids send them to kung fu schools to live. Thats what I think is happening here. So, they were all amazed with my electronic toys...my digital camera and DV Video Camera. I allowed them to use them. They took tons of pictures and video. I barely touched my stuff today. They seemed to enjoy it. During the time we were about to go to bed, after everyone cleaned up and etc, they took some really hilarious video footage. Its totally going on the DVD. Its great. I laughed my ass off.
We all went to bed, or tried to. We prolly didnt fall asleep untill 3AM. Basically, it was like a sleepover with a bunch of immature boys. It was great. I gave a bunch of charlie horses. It was great!
Time to sleep.

Posted by Phil at 02:46 PM | Permalink

I was insulted again today as I was walking down the street. It was around 2pm and I was just out for a stroll. A person riding a bike rode by and a girl on the back of a bicycle saw me and said with surprised the title of this entry. It means fat man. I am getting sick of these assholes.
Went to practice and spent about 1 hour trying to understand what is going on for the next week. I gots me a finallized schedual of the events...and of course, this is subject to last minute change.
Feb 7-8th: Spend two days in HK practicing and having free time, but I plan to watch the lion dance troop, take pictures and video.
Feb 9th - 11th: There is a set schedule of events. All three are in the morning. First day is in Shunde, second is Guzhen, third is in Shanxiang. I will perform Hong Quan #1 & 3 each morning. And then they said they want me to do the dragon head. Of course, I don't know how to do it and they just want to laugh at me.
But, i am going to bed, i just put all my stuff together for HK. I need to meet them at 8am.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 07:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Today I went to the foot massage place by myself. It was nice. However, I made sure to avoid the eyes of the girl giving me the massage. Everytime I looked up or opened my eyes, she was looking right at me. Ok...this is freakin' me out. I ain't here by myself for a "happy ending" or anything more immoral. Icky. I was getting weirded out. I am hoping that since this is a nice place, it isn't like one of those "Rub n Tugs" that some of the other people attend. Speaking of which, one of the "Whore Hairdressing Shops" in town has been closed the past few days I have walked by it. Thats good. There are so many of these things all around here. Its gross.
After the massage thing, I bought a couple CD-Rs because I needed to put some fotos of Daisy on it to give to her mom. So, after I bought the CD-Rs, i bought a couple of those little money packets that people give little kids for Chinese New Year. I threw a few bucks into the packet, I burnt the CD then picked up some candy for her. I had called Jolleen and she said that for children of Daisy's age, 4 years old, its almost an insult to the parents to give money to the little kids because they really don't have an idea of what money is, but its better to give food or toys to them. The reason i gave a money packet is because I wanted to give a money packet for Chinese New Year. Screw chinese customs.
After I got it all together, I rode my bike over to their place. I remember her grandmama told me what number their house is and on what street. I rang the doorbell and her grandpapa answered. He was surprised to see me and my bag of goodies. He invited me in and told me that Daisy and her mom were out and about in town. I chatted with Grandmama and grandpapa for about 10 minutes, then took off since I had to pack for Hong Kong tomorrow.
Around 6pm, Grandpapa Jing-Xun gave me a call and I heard Daisy chirping in the background. They wanted to take me out to dinner. So I said sure. I met them at 630pm and we went to this place called Old Place. I got to witness a chinese Hamburger. Its about the size of a hamburger from White Castle. However, instead of a rubber chunk, they had about three small slices of beef smothered in chinese cheese topped with some lettuced. The bun was steamed so much it was soggy, but a good soggy. It was yummy. Daisy was cramming that thing into her mouth. Very humorous.
After dinner I stopped by the BOND office at 8pm to sign an amendment to my contract stating no evening classes and two consecutive days off for the next term. I had Owen call Guo Sifu to let him know I would be late by 20 minutes. I then headed to practice. I got to practice and I noticed tonite was gonna be a waste. For some reason the whole floor was covered in a thin layer of water like the Bowen floors were. If i tried at all to do any gung fu, i would slip and hurt myself. So I started picking up bad chinese habits of sitting around and doing nothing at practice. Around 930, Sifu still hadn't shown up and I got irritated. I called up Mountain and he was able to get a hold of Guo Sifu. At the same time that Mountain called me back, about 3 other staff members told Michelle to tell me that there was a problem with the HK trip on Sunday, so it was cancelled but that we would go on Monday. What? All you knew about this, and saw me sitting there for all this time and no one said anything, and sifu didn't even tell Owen when he called him two hours ago. This stuff has got to stop, but I know that it never will, and my irritation at it never will either.
Oh well. I came home.
Moses had bought a new DVD player for the house since Peter took his with him. So, I paid him for my share. Its a nice one. I think. Oh well.
Talk to you tomorrow.

Posted by Phil at 11:07 PM | Permalink

Amy called the ShiQi travel agency number this morning. She walked into my room and said, "I am really sorry, Phil...you are such a wonderful man, you shouldn't have to deal with this type of let down everyday of your existence in China. I apologize for the rest of my country-men and -women, we are an inconsiderate people. The trip has been cancelled. Six people have pulled out this morning." So the Kunming trip has been cancelled. Amy didn't really say all of that. I made up about 10% of it. ;-) So, I need to decide what else to do.
Yumi is back in Japan right now but she went to the dentist the other day. She needs to have her wisdom teeth removed. She is having it done right now at 230pm. Ouch. I bet she will look like a chipmonk afterwards. :D
Amy and I went to the other travel agency in Xiaolan around 230pm to find out about other possibilities. They are offering a tour to Kunming almost identical to the one the other agency was offering. They already have 17 people on the tour, so its a postive "go". I signed up for it. It was also cheaper as well. Only 2400RMB. The ladies in the travel office didn't seem very happy though. I didnt see any smiles while I was there. What a shame.
After I hit up Wooden Chair for some yummy Tomatoes and Eggs, I corresponded with Nick, a teacher that used to teach here but went to Inner Mongolia now he is coming back, about going on the tour with me since I would be the only white folk that speaks english. Most others in Xiaolan already have plans. He is interested in the trip. As of now there are 17 spots left open and he won't get into town until the 8th, so hopefully they stay open.

I went to practice tonite and just practiced hard.

Posted by Phil at 10:32 AM | Permalink

I Learned never to take the Shunde Route to Hong Kong. It took me four hours to get there. Left the Flower Hotel 815am, the van guy picked up many other people and we finally arrived at the Shunde Port around 930am. I have never been here and it was really nice looking. The ferry itself took 2 hours almost exactly. To kill time I dragged along my laptop. I was finishing up the last hour of Farewell My Concubine. That movie is pretty awesome, but very depressing. After about 5 minutes, I noticed two kids sitting behind me were watching so I unplugged my headfones and set the laptop in the middle seat so the kids could watch and woman sitting in the other seat could watch as well. There was a couple points that I had to cover the little kids' eyes. And fastforward something. Most of this part that we were watching had to deal with the Cultural Revolution. I was kind of worried about playing it, I was looking around seeing if anyone seemed to care, but no one did. So I said to the kids, "Are you happy to see what your government has done to your people. The people that were involved in this are now in power! Good for them, huh?"
They just stared and giggled. "A white man is talking to us!"
After that movie ended, I tried to put in Edward Scissorhands, but my DVDplayer wasn't reading it. Crappy Chinese knockoff DVDs. So, I threw in One Flew Over the Kuckoo's Nest. After about 30 minutes of that since the kids and woman lost interest and I couldn't hear it, I shut it off and put on Super Troopers.
We finally got to Hong Kong and with walking and the subway system and trying to find the office, I didnt get to CASE till about 1:15pm. I got to the Apple Certified Service Center and during a conversatioon with another customer, I realized that it should be called "The iPod Service Center". I was there for a span of about 30 minutes or so. Everyone that I saw come in had an iPod related issue. I had a battery that has drained during the one year warranty, another dude had the same model as mine but his battery was fine - the harddrive in it just stopped working - he has had his for 1.5 years. Another guy was there to pick his up and they still didn't have it ready for him. He came in last week and they said 3-5 days, he showed up, they didnt have it. He came back today, they didnt have it. He said he will be back in town on the 19th and they better have it.
While I was there, about 6 people came and left about iPods. The one guy who had his harddrive conk out said he was there in the morning and he swore that at least 20 people had come and gone while he was there and it was all about iPods.
I swear, Apple is its own worst enemy. The iPod would have been the perfect thing if they made the battery more accessible, removeable, and last longer. However, truth be told, the battery technology to make something like that run a long time still isn't there. Its getting better, but its still tuff. Gooooo T/J! You should start some business with Apple! :D
After that I headed to another shop then head back to the ferry port. I was constantly travelling all day and I ate alot of M&Ms. The van ride back to Xiaolan from the Zhongshan ferry port made my tummy ache, so i rested instead of going to practice. I will make up for it tomorrow.
I am off to bed. Check you later.

Posted by Phil at 09:50 AM | Permalink

Today I went down to ShiQi to pick up my Z-VISA. Finally! No more useless trips to Macau and HK. This makes me feel much better. I picked it up and Dan was there doing something for his contract, so we decided to head back together. When we got to the FuHua hotel to pick up a bus, we had talked about travelling during the festivities and he took me to the ShiQi travel agency around the corner to see if they have any tours. After all the brainstorming we did, we found one for Kunming from the 13th - 19th. It would just be me, with the chinese tour group. Kinda like Beijing was, but before I knew about Rumi and Yumi. So far there was only 9 people confirmed and they 16 to run it. She gave me her card and Amy will call her to ask her what the status is. Interesting. Hopefully it works out, it sounds kool.
While trying to learn the itinerary of the trip, I called Amy and while I was talking to, I had the lady fax the itinerary to the Xiaolan Office because Amy was there. While we were chatting she got it and we discussed it. Ain't modern technology wonderful. China needs more of it.
We then headed back to Xiaolan.
Practice was cold again and rainy. I did some stuff and then I helped rib the new dragon that we got. A long arduous process.
I then headed home.

Posted by Phil at 10:08 AM | Permalink

I am witnessing more and more bike accidents. As I came home from practice a bit early tonite becausee no one was there to help me out, it was drizziling rain. I was riding the bike and I heard a crash on the side street thru the trees. I quickly went to the corner to see if I could give any assistance. As I was pulling up, a motorcycle was leaving the scene of the accident. (they didn't do anything, they just witnessed it and didnt' want to get invovled)
I pulled up and there were two bikes laying on the ground with shattered glass. There were three men on the ground. The one on the left, still on the pavement was bleeding from the mouth and there was a small pool of blood on the pavement. He looked dazed. I tried to offer him my fone so he could call authorities, but he just stared at me. Then he took out his fone and called. The guy on the right sat in the grass and he had pulled his pant leg up and he was obviously in pain on his leg, however there wasn't any noticeable damage. He started shouting at the guy on the left. I figure the guy on the right was with the guy in the middle and the guy on the left was the cause of the accident. The guy in the middle was sitting at the beginning, then he stood up and he it was obvious that he shouldn't because he didnt have any balance. He looked as though he would fall over. I motioned for him to sit down, but he just stared at me with one good eye and one bloodshot eye while he drooled. He then walked around the wreckage to look at some stuff. Well, looks like I am no help here. So i took off.
It amazes me that they have all this space on the road, yet they still get into car accidents. Go figure.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:16 AM | Permalink

Thank God. Its over. We had two classes in the morning and out of all the teachers, I was the only one trying to teach anything. Everyone else was playing english songs or movies. During the first class, I told Amanda what type of pizza to pick up. She left during the 10 minute break. During the second class, half of my students were removed by their parents when they showed up to take them away. It was odd. I had only 8 left by the time class was over. Oh well.
I think this is what Amanda got upset with over the fone yesterday because people that were not organizing the camp had made decisions that they shouldn't have made about when the parents should pick up the kids. Someone was usurping her authority and she didn't like it. Eventhough, that's the chinese way. They all think they are the most important and therefore always right so they make decisions when they don't even have the authority too. So everything was hitting the fan apparently. It really upset her.
After class was over we waited about 20 minutes for the Pizza to show up. It was good. Not great, but good. We had a small party amongst ourselves. Then we still had tons of time to waste until 230pm when we were schedualed to have a small party wtih the kids. But 2:30pm came around and there were only 3 kids left. So it was canceled. Basically we wasted another few hours. Its the thing you do in China: waste time.
During this whole camp, Henry has always been flirting with Amanda, professing his love for her. She would always laugh at that. I wanted to get on the humor as well, so the whole gang was calling her sweet names like, "buttercup", "angelic muffin cake", etc. Very humorous. Eventhough this camp was awful and the worst teaching experience I have had so far, we still managed to have fun at times.
We left around 3pm and on the way back to the BOND Shiqi office, so I could talk to Maria about my VISA and a letter from my folks, we all made the conscious decision to forget about the camp. "I feel I have just woken up from a dichloromethane (chloroform) induced coma". "Where has the past week and a half gone to?"
We got to the office. Amanda got my letter for me. Apparently she has had it in her office for a few days. Why she is just giving it to me now shows the chinese mentallity. "I have seen you everday for 1.5 weeks but I didn't give you a letter that has been sitting on my desk for the past week." After that I chatted with Maria about why my Z-Visa wasn't complete. She said two more days. Ugh. I need it now!
Thats why I turned it in so early, to have it done by february. Oh well.
I hopped back into the van and we headed out. Peter asked, "Did your package show up yet?" I said, "No." Then I started to complain about Chinese postal service. About 10 minutes later, Peter threw my package onto my lap. Ha ha ha. He said Joe picked it up and threw it in the van. I didnt even see it in the office. Its great. I put on my ski jacket and i felt that warmth of hardcore skiing. My mind was instantly transported to Christmas/New Years last year in SLC and Wyoming skiing in 100 inches of fresh snow. I also got some Stollen...German Christmas break that my mom makes. Very good. Its already finished.
On the way home, we started talking about bars, and Dan mentioned about how a few months ago he was invovled in a Triad Bar Bust-up where he lives in Hunan. Basically, it was 20 triad members against 5 foreigners. The owner of the bar was a Canadian and the triad members were regulars, and for some reason, that night they decided to teach them a lesson by busting up the bar. Then one of the canadians (who apparently wasn't all there in the head) saw a member holding a crowbar and decided to pull a "Bush" pre-emtive strike. He dropped the triad member and the group of guys just let loose on Dan and the other 4 foreigners. Dan he was knocked to the ground with about 5 guys kicking him and that they had weapons as well. Blunt metallic objects. He said he got put in the hospital. He obviously looks ok now. He then said the cops showed up, a triad member said something, and the cops looked the other way and no arrests were made for busting up the bar. The canadian guy sold his bar not too much later. It was an odd story. Almost surreal. Only see that on TV.
Craziness.
We finally got to Xiaolan and we went and got paid. Gary mentioned that they had no classes lined up for us at all, so we have a nice break for a bit. Hopefully they don't find anything else. YES!
From there I headed back to the big house. Did some stuff until practice tonite. It went well, I learned some new stuff. I got Mountain to talk to Guo Sifu about whats going on for the performances. Apparently the HK thing is continuous for the whole festival, from the 6th-18th of February. Guo Sifu thinks is too much for me so he told me I can come to a couple. He is right, I want to do some travelling. So, after about 20 minutes of three way talking on one cell fone, this is what my schedual will be for the New Year Festivities.
1. Go to HK on the morning of Feb 6th and stay there until the evening of Feb 8th. We will take a bus to Shenzhen then a ferry to HK. We will stay the night in a Martial Arts school that the teacher knows. So we will be ruffing it with other people. I bet I will be a novelty. Look, the white guy!
2. I found out that I most likely won't be performing in the HK festivities, but I will be watching, helping out, and learning. I guess thats good, it gives me a chance to get some video.
3. On Feb 9th there is the New Year celebration in Shunde. Guo Sifu said at this one I will be able to do some Wushu...I will perform a couple of the Hong Quan forms.
4. On the 11-12 there are two things going on in Zhongshan that I will perform at.
All this while there will be troop members in HK still.
5. From Feb 13th - 19th I will spend just travelling around. Going to close places by bus and what not. It should be interesting. Now that I know the schedual, I will be able to put a plan of attack together.
I hope to get alot of good video for the next DVD.
Another thing that surprised me was that I received an award from Guo Sifu today. I was elected Hardest Worker at the Sunday Evening meeting and this evening he gave me this little booklet that has a certificate in it. Plus, there was an envelope with 30 kwai in it. Jeez. I totally did not expect this. I was very surprised.
Tommy was at practice today as well. He is a guy I met once before at practice but has been missing for awhile. He is studying at a university in Zhongshan and his enlish is good. It needs some fine tuning so we exchanged online names and we spent a few hours chattting tonite while I finished up a japanese Ninja movie. Well, its around 2AM. I am going to bed.

Posted by Phil at 07:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Well, the drive was the normal drive to camp. We picked up David and his wife for some odd reason in ShiQi. Dunno why. We just did. Classes were bleh. I kicked two kids out withing 3 minutes of each other for not doing what I instructed and goofing around. They then sat outside the doors and looked thru the windows with dead-to-the-world Chinese puppy dog eyes. After about 10 minutes later of them just sitting outside, Miss Li finally decided to grace us with her presence. She spoke to the kids outside and I noticed one had started to cry.
During lunch we got Amanda to agree to having Bond go in 50/50 for ordering 4 Pizza Hut pizzas for our lunch tomorrow. YES!! I have to say that Pizza Hut in China is the only place to get decent pizza. Its like a gourmet restaurant here in China. Its expensive by Chinese standards, but its soo sooooooooooo worth it.
Lunch was eh.
Afternoon classes were a joke. The children were not paying attention. No Chinese teachers. I tried to teach and some of it was good but after about 20 minutes, the kids just didn't care. When class was over, I headed to the teacher’s office and Amanda came with stacked bundles of orange plastic coats. They are pretty cheap. On it says “Bond Happy Winter English Camp”. But it was anything but. We are planning to cross out the Happy part and replace it with either Unhappy or Angry or Crappy. We handed them out during class and I used that to teach the kids, “May I please have…”
After that I allowed the kids to go to Peter’s class where he was showing the Gogo DVDs. After that we had some time to kill before we had the activity class. I had the kids do the Hokey Pokey, Simon Says, and I taught them the Chicken Dance. I also got Amanda to join me in trying to teach them how to Swing Dance. You think they would like it, but the kids just went off and paid no attention. After trying everything I had them go watch a cartoon Peter was showing.
This is how bad the kids don’t want to pay attention. It has gotten to the point that the kids are watching Chinese movies instead of English Language films. Its so pathetic.
Then before everyone had gone to dinner, except for me - I ate an apple, Amanda got into a cellfone argument with someone. I was on my computer listening to Terry Gilliam’s commentary of Brazil. Its quite interesting. I am learning a lot about camera work from it. I looked up and saw Amanda talking on the fone. Something I see every waking moment, so, you know, nothing out of the ordinary. Her voiced started to get louder. I was beginning to hear the voice from the other end as well above my computer. And I guess I have been in China to long, but I stopped my computer and watched. I feel terrible about that. She began shouting into the fone for a good long while. Of course I looked at some of the other English teachers, primarly Dan and Henry because their Chinese is better than mine, and I know Peter's chinese ain't worth anything...just teasing. (Peter is reading this journal entry right now). Dan and Henry both shook their heads with that goofy, "I don't know whats going on" face while they waved their hands around like Robby the Robot....DANGER! DANGER! She then threw the cell-fone down onto the desk and stormed out of the office. I got up for the little boys room a few moments later and she was standing alone in the stairway looking off in the distance. Visibly upset.
I didn t bother going to dinner since I knew it was gonna suck. And apparently it did. According to Peter, he said Amanda was still really upset. She wasn’t answering her fone and I was told that her fone wsa going off a lot. We then headed out.
Got back to Xiaolan around 730pm. I prepared to go to Lion Dance practice and I was about to head out and I thought to have Amy call my Sifu to see if there was practice tonite. Its Sunday and I didn't want to ride my bike thru rain just to show up and have no practice. She chatted with him for a few minutes and laughed a bit. She told me after hanging up that the Lion Dance troop had a meeting around 6pm and that they had a little election for the upcoming festivities. Election? So democracy does exist in China...to some extent. Speaking of Chinese Communism...the other day Henry saw a Mercedes and said, "Welcome to Communist China." Quite humorous at the time.
Anywho, the troop had an election. Though I wasn't in attendance, I was voted most active member of the troop. What that means for the upcoming festivites, I have no clue. I think Amy said they were electing people for performances and stuff.
Since I didnt have practice, I was gonna do some stuff. I was quite bored. I am tired and I want to go to sleep, so I will. So there. However, before I leave you all, the weather has been quite chilly the past few days. And a layer of fog has been hanging about for three day straight. So, I hit the button on the space heater to start working. It was going fine for about 30 minutes. All of a sudden it just conked out. Great. So I called Jolene and she said she doesn't take care of that anymore but because she loves me she called the appropriate people and I need to take it in tomorrow or Tuesday. However, after chatting with Peter online about some camp issues and our Pizza Hut Party tomorrow, I got up to take out my contacts. As I returned, i thought, "Hey, i will try the heater again." I turned it on...and it worked. Great. It was getting cold in here. But then about a minute later it fuzzed out again. I walked towards it and it went back on again. As I sat down it shut off. Ugh! So I stood up, went over and hit the buttons. Nothing. I turned it back on. I hit it and it started working. Ugh. Here is the AIM conversation:
irmenudo@yahoo.com: my heater just fuzzed out.
Peter: that sucks
Peter: i just ordered a 160 G hd drive
irmenudo@yahoo.com: nice
Peter: yeah....now i can get all the files from you
irmenudo@yahoo.com: well, when you get it\
Peter: i get it tuesday morning
irmenudo@yahoo.com: we forgot to tell Amanda how to go about getting Pizza
Peter: we can tell her in the mornng ...she was not in the mood to talk about it I am sure
irmenudo@yahoo.com: have it ordered then have Joe/David drive out to pick itup
irmenudo@yahoo.com: or would we just drive into town?
irmenudo@yahoo.com: that would be the best
Peter: fine with me
irmenudo@yahoo.com: koolio
Peter: i am going to give adobe premiere pro a try. see how it works
Peter: I have heard good things about it
irmenudo@yahoo.com: well, my heater's working again
irmenudo@yahoo.com: i have heard its confusing. but oh well.
Peter: wierd
irmenudo@yahoo.com: Adobe products are good.
Peter: i have a tutorial
irmenudo@yahoo.com: the mac stuff is quite user friendly...and the heater just gave out again.
irmenudo@yahoo.com: then came back on
Peter: hehe
Peter: has a mind of its own i see
irmenudo@yahoo.com: again. damnit
irmenudo@yahoo.com: i just hit it, it went back on.
Peter: strange
irmenudo@yahoo.com: chinese
irmenudo@yahoo.com: just letting you know I am copying the convo about the space heater onto my journal right now

Good nite all. Sleep well. God bless.

Posted by Phil at 07:33 PM | Permalink

I woke up this morning really tired because I had only about 3 hours of sleep. It had rained during the night. Now there is this intense fog covering everything around us, like a cold, wet down-quilt. Its condensing on everything. This made it quite interesting at the Bowen School because for some reason, the Chinese love to make all their buildings covered in tiles so they get dirty really easily. The entire school is covered in tile as well as the floor. All the fog had condensed on the tile floor making it very slippery. By mid-afternoon, the floor looked as if it was under a layer of water. This is quite dangerous. The Chinese aren’t as paranoid as Americans are about safety. I have seen many things that would turn into lawsuits in the States. And for anyone who likes to have fun, dangerous = fun. So, all the kids, including me, were running and sliding all over the place. Before you yell at me and tell me, “Maybe you shouldn’t do it since you are an authority figure and the kids will imitate what you do.” I will tell you that I imitated the kids. They were the ones that got me hooked. So there. I said it. I videotaped it…it was quite humorous. The classes today pretty much stunk. The Chinese teacher only was present for about 80% of the first 2 classes and was non-existent during the second two. Fudge-cicle. After Camp was over we headed home. And of course our time was not cared about or considered and it was wasted.
On the way home we were watching internet downloads of Dr. Katz and Dave Chapelle Show. It was quite humorous. I got back around 730pm and I called Yumi to let her know I would stop over around 830pm. She is heading back to Japan for the Chinese New Year. She will be gone for about 3 weeks. Her Japanese friend who works in Shenzhen will go with her, so I get to meet her as well. I knock on Yumi’s door and her friend Noriko opens up. She is all excited and bubbly. I am like, “Hello. How are you?” She was responding with happy shrieks. She proceeded to run around in a circle and jump up and down speaking incomprehensible Japanese. “Jeez, you act as you have never seen a white person before.”
“Yes.” Yumi spoke from behind the door, “Well, she’s never met one.” I find that odd because Japan is saturated with white people…I thought. Oh well. We all chatted for a bit. Noriko was trying to remember some English to speak to me. She kept opening up that little computer dictionary that they all carry. It was funny. However, I didn't laugh at her when she tried to speak English and would speak broken English as others laugh at me when I try to speak Chinese or Japanese. I guess not everyone tries to follow the Golden Rule.
While I was there, Michelle, my Sifu’s daughter, called me and spoke to me a bit. She said there was a big meeting about the upcoming lion-dance performances on Sunday at 6pm. She was telling me to come. “Too bad Michelle, I will be stuck in ShiQi against my will until 730pm.” It took me about five minutes to explain to her that I wouldn’t be able to come, but that I could be at practice at 8pm. This confused her to no end. When she finally did understand that I wouldn’t make 6pm, she said, “Uh oh…that’s very bad. Ok. Ok. I will see you. Bye bye.” It was an interesting conversation.
After chillin’ with Yumi and Noriko I headed and now I am heading to bed. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 07:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Coming down from an altered state is a hard thing to do...
Tonite was a blast.
First off, I spent most of the day as a vegetable. Around 5pm I called some Apple Sellers in Hong Kong trying to figure out where to take my iPod to get the battery replaced. Actually, what they do is they replace it with a used/refurbished/new one of the same model, one that would be just as good as new. I still think that is the only downside of the iPod. Since tonite are the going away festivities for Sean and Suzannah, I called around to see what everyone was up to. Sean told me to meet at the Longshan gong ryen Beer Gardens at 830pm. I got there at 9pm and no one was around. So I called some people. Apparently, Sean fell asleep and the girls didn’t know what was going on. Figures. So I was told to head over to Sunday Bar where Jolene, Ash, and a couple other Chinese were already there. I walked over. After about 15 minutes or so, Sean, Suzannah, Yumi, Rumi showed up. We had a good time.
Yumi and Rumi had gotten these little booklets to have us write little happy things in to allow Sean and Suzannah to have good memories of us. Surprisingly Sean gave me a present. He had bought The Prodigy’s new album, “Always Outnumber Never Outgunned” a while back and prolly got his use out of it. He gave it to me. Kool. Thanks yo.
One of the weird things that happened was on the stereo system. After the dance remix of “Heaven is a Place on Earth”, it started playing Wolfsheim. I was super surprised. Why is Wolfsheim being played in China? I can’t believe this. It was really cool.
I haven’t been drinking much at all in the past month, so my tolerance was really low. Of course, I drank a bit too much. About 30 minutes before we left, I realized I needed lots of tea. So I went psychitsoid on the tea. By the time we were leaving, I was feeling a bit better. It was good that we walked around to other places. We went to that dance club that we had gone to for John’s send off and the Guzhen Karaoke parties. The music was turned off. It was only 1AM. Reluctantly they put the music back on and we had the floor all to ourselves. I danced on the pole. It was hilarious. I noticed off in the corner, on one of the fluorescent wall paintings (so they show up under blacklight), there was an image of Boba Fett shooting a laser beem into the mouth of a skeleton warrior. Why they had Boba Fett doing such a thing is beyond me. Oh well. The music ended around 2AM and they were playing some “cool-down” music. It was the Chinese version of “Silent Night”. It was in Cantonese and I doubt its got the same meaning. Bizarre people the Chinese. Bizarre. I went home and got some rest.

Posted by Phil at 02:48 PM | Permalink

Today was great. I just slept and vegged out.
Peter spent all day moving. He and Echo have decided to move in together since they are getting married when he gets his passport back from the Z-Visa people. They will have their own place. They are trading with Robert, the guy from Australia. Peter and Echo are moving into Robert's place. I will miss them. Its gonna be wierd.
I went to the gym and lion dance tonite. I learned some more to Hong Quan #2. Did about 5 minutes with the dragon head. It was fun. I still feel like a tub of lard working with those guys though. No fat at all and I got a bunch. It looks bizarre on camera as you will see on the News Story.
Finally got some closure: I watched Day of the Dead and the night before I watched the original Dawn of the Dead. Never had seen those really. So, got some closure from the original Zombie Trilogy. Romero ruelz. Off to bed.

Posted by Phil at 02:42 PM | Permalink

So, Bond still sucks. However, everything else is great. Bowen school is still the worst teaching experience. The chinese teacher was in class for about 1/4 of the time I was teaching. Still problematic. I left at one point and told Amanda to go teach because they weren't paying attention to me since they can't understand. She conned me to go back in if she came along. I said sure. When we got there, not more than 2 minutes went by that her cell fone rang and she stepped out of class to talk to someone for the rest of the period. When she did that, the class fell apart. SMACK! I am totally gonna steal her cell fone next time.

Posted by Phil at 02:38 PM | Permalink

I kept trying to correct the little girl in my class, "Lu-lu The Leopard", but she was intent on saying, "Lu-lu The Leper". It was kind of funny. So I wrote it on the dry erase board.
Yelled at my kids some more today.

Posted by Phil at 02:37 PM | Permalink

That's right. Out of all the teaching he has done in China. He regards this as the worst. Everything is just so disorganized and stupid. This is a typical day:

700AM: Wake up.
830AM: Catch the BOND van to head down to Shiqi.
920AM: Pick up Amanda, then Henry at their residences and head to Bowen International School.
950AM: Arrive at Bowen International School
1000AM: Teach a 40 min class
1040AM: Take a 10 min break
1050AM: Teach another 40 min class
1130AM: Take a 3 hour lunch break
230PM: Teach a 40 min class
310PM: Take a 10 min break
320PM: Teach another 40 min class
400PM: Take a 30 min break
430PM: Supervise a chant activity/lesson activity for 1 hour
530PM: Eat dinner
600PM: Get in the Bond Van and head back to ShiQi/Xiaolan
730PM: Arrive back in Xiaolan

~11 hours of our day is being sucked up by Bond here and we are only being paid for the time spent TEACHING IN CLASS. All the rest of the day is thrown into limbo. I have spent most of the lunch breaks playing Diablo II on my computer. Its pathetic. In addition to the crappy schedual. The classes are horrible.
I have about 16 kids in my classroom. Not bad. Not at all. Its a nice change from having 50 kids in class. The problems, though, are as follows:
1. The kids do not want to be there at all. They are all smart. I mean, very smart. These kids are between 6-8 years old and they know more english than most of the kids I have taught, including the Guzhen kids.
2. On top of not wanting to be there, they are naughty rich kids. I mentioned that this was a rich school earlier. Its disgusting what parents are doing to their kids.
3. There is no Chinese english teacher present in class to control the children. For some stupid stupid reason, Amanda told the chinese teachers that they don't need to be present in our classes. This has by far caused the most problems. Every hour we tell Amanda to get us those teachers, she makes some calls, but nothing ever happens.
If there are no chinese teachers in class, they can't explain the exercises to the children, they can't keep them disciplined, and they can't tell them the meanings of things. Sure, people say, "Well, that's your job." Amanda said, once when I stopped babysitting those rascals because there were no teachers in class and the kids wouldn't respond to the simplest exercises and I returned to the office, "If you can't teach just this many kids, you can't teach at all in China?"
I had to explain it to her again. The truth is, the best times I have had teaching at this camp has been when there was a Chinese Teacher in class.
We try to turn the tables, think about this: take a chinese teacher who has very little or no english training and stick them in front of a bunch of kids and say, "go teach". With nothing. She kind of understands that, but not really.
If there is no teacher there, the kids just space out immediately and make paper airplanes, write in their chinese books, read comics, or play Paper, Rock, Scissors. Its absolutely terrible.
That is how the teaching is going. And, to make matters worse is the fact that when we aren't teaching we are stuck there for most of the day just wasting our time and not getting paid for it.
The drives home are a pain in the ass as well. Each night we get in the van and head back. After dropping off Amanda and Henry, we always end up heading back to the ShiQi Office for some dumb reason. These drivers are wasting our time doing their own errands. We are really livid.
For example, today was irritatingly perfect. I got pissed for a couple reasons.
First off, I had been working on my computer alot and I had created a file that was very important with lots of time spent on it. I left my computer to do the activity class. I came back after dinner, packed it up and we headed to the van. On the way home, I tried to load up my file. That file along with another was deleted and another was in its place. WTF! What happened. Peter then mentioned he briefly saw Sparky (the driver) on my computer when he was heading to dinner. What was he doing on my computer. So i asked Amanda if she could ask Sparky if he was on my computer, he responded Yes. So i yelled at him. I am totally gonna email Big Boss John...the dick.
1. He deleted an impotant file because he can't read english very well
2. He was on my computer without my permission. If he had asked, I would have let him on and set him up, but no. He had to go on and reallly piss me off.
Since then, I have been able to recover some of the original file.
On top of that was the van ride home. Sparky ran his own errands. After we went to the ShiQi office to waste time. (Peter needed to be in Xiaolan at 7PM, it was already 630) We started driving. Next thing we know, Sparky is picking up his girlfriend and her friend and dropping her off in another place near the Bond office again, then picking up some Bond flyers. Wait a second. This couldn't be done before or after we were taken care of. So, Peter and I were given Sparky crap. We are both totally gonna contact John about the incompetence in this company.
We got back to ShiQi around 730pm.
I have been so tired that I have missed Lion Dancing on Monday and Tuesday. Ugh.

Posted by Phil at 01:59 PM | Permalink

This camp sux.

Posted by Phil at 01:57 PM | Permalink

Ok. This is to show how disorganized and idiotic the Chinese are. I believe now that it isn’t just Bond, I have seen this in other areas. Its all Chinese people. They have teachers from Xiaolan going to Bowen International School which is just outside ShiQi. Driving time is ~1 hour. They have teachers from ShiQi going to Guzhen which is a city just outside of Xiaolan for more classes, and teachers going from Xiaolan to the Bond Office in ShiQi. Can you see why we foreign teachers get frustrated with them? Why don’t they put ShiQi teachers in Bowen and Shiqi and have the Xiaolan teachers in Guzhen and Xiaolan. WTF!
Here is some more backstory to the Winter camp. Three days ago, Peter was “asked” if he “wanted” to organize the Winter camp that was supposed to take place in three days. Why Peter accepted is beyond me. Amanda first asked him to plan the opening ceremony, but then “asked” him to do the whole camp. “Amanda, I can’t make this a great camp in three days time.” –That’s ok, just make it alright.
This is just more evidence to show how the Chinese lack quality.
So, we get there in the morning at Bowen for the opening ceremony. There was Dan (a guy that was at Bond in Hunan), Henry (a south African that has been here three weeks), Peter, me, Sean, Toby, and Robert. However, the only ones teaching during the camp are me, Peter, Henry, and Dan. The others were there for publicity.
We get in the auditorium and there are many flags at the front. There was 1 American, 2 British, 1 New Zealand, and, for some bizarre reason 6 Canadian. While we were killing time waiting for the rest of the kids who were late, we started throwing Frisbee and playing some Badmitten. Some kids showed up, around 30, and we still waited on others. So we waited some more. Dan left around this time because he was a little sick, he went and threw up. Then Amanda walks in and says, “why haven’t you started.” –Because we are waiting for the rest of the kids. “Oh, there is only 56 kids in this camp and the rest aren’t coming until this afternoon.” –What? Why didn’t you tell us this?
So, instead of filling the opening ceremony for 1 hour, we got to do it for 30 minutes. Thanks for wasting our time Amanda. Peter gave a little speech and talked to the kids. We all spoke about ourselves for about 5 minutes. I chatted and said some things. I told them that if they are lucky, they will get to learn some gung fu. Sean went up and said, “Hello, my name is Sean. Goodbye.” He tried to sit down, but the kids kept saying NO! So he wasted time standing up and sitting down. Henry (south Africa) and Robert (Australia) went on and complained that their flags weren’t at the front of the auditorium. Toby went up there and said, “My name is Toby. I am a philosopher, poet, and aethiest. (you forgot “jackass” and that your poetry is really gawd awful) I like to teach, but I won’t be teaching you. Etc etc.
We then had a lunch break for 3 hours and taught an introductory lesson at 230-4pm. I already noticed something that is gonna be trouble: the Chinese teachers aren’t staying in class. How will I be able to teach the kids if there are not teachers to keep control or to explain directions?
Another thing that sucks is that we don’t get home at 730PM. Ugh.
I went to practice tonite and I felt terrible. Very tired. Very very tired. My legs were shaking during form work. I then drank some water and got energized. I then hit the bag for a few minutes and felt much better. Then worked some more on forms. Went home and fell asleep.

Posted by Phil at 01:55 PM | Permalink

I went to Guzhen this morning, what would be the last of the Guzhen classes. We were late because:
The taxi cab went to go pick up Toby and Suzannah first instead of me and Mountain. And of course, the Brits were late. Well, actually, Toby was late, Suzannah never showed up. So, the taxi guy shows up around 840Am with Toby and then we drive back and wait for Suzannah for another 5 minutes. She didn't show so we took off. We got there and a village meeting was about to be held. So, we had to go up to another classroom on level 3.
During the breaks I was playing with the kids. I was picking them up n stuff. Just playing. I went to pick up one boy and as I was lifting him up, one of his friends yanked down his pants. And for some dumb reason this kid wasn’t wearing any underwear. AIYA! Put that thing away!
After kindergarten in the evening I headed to Lion Dancing. Practice was fine. Just worked on the forms more and more.
Tomorrow I have to go to Bowen School for the start of our Winter English camp. It may be cool. Ha ha…famous last words. Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 01:53 PM | Permalink

I had to go to Guzhen to finish up the class lessons for Bond. I will have to go again tomorrow on Friday. The school seemed to be preparing for something. They were roping areas off and then putting a bunch of chairs and desks around in it.
Kindergarten went fine today. I picked up four copies of Kung Fu Hustle this evening after the gym. She had to go below the front desk in the off limits cupboard to get these DVDs out, prolly to keep them away from the sight of the police.
I went to lion dance and took a schedual of days that I will be able to be there for practice. The old sifu was there and seemed happy to see me. He was then told by one of the coaches that the headcoach wants him to teach me some new Hong Quan stuff. The headcoach showed up later. I think this is to prepare for the Lion Dance performances during the New Year. He started showing me some of Hong Quan #3. This one has some neat stuff in it. Its got the tiger claw, crane fist, and the crab technique. Chad and I refer to it as the Crab Technique because it looks hilarious, it kinda looks like a crab, when you do it, sorta. I tested it out on the punching bags once. It generates a lot of power, but its done in such a peculiar manner, I don't know when anyone would use it.
So, I was practicing this on my own in the corner, and people were watching me as usual. Then the head coach showed up. He didn’t look very happy. He watched me do it and gave me some corrections. He also showed me the slight variations from the Shaolin Hong Quan and the Wong Fei-Hong Hong Quan (which I am learning). He then told me to make some noise when I do certain tiger techniques. Kinda like the Japanese kia when you punch and kick. Only this is a modification. He showed me, and I imitated, and this brought many more of the Chinese students to watch. I took them (regular students and the lion dancing wunderkind) away from their doing nothing. I dunno but the last few days, these kids haven’t been practicing like they should. So, they came over from doing nothing and stood around staring and giggling. So, I finally got fed up. And shooed them way. “Go on. Nothing to see here. Go about your own practice. You have lots to do.” They got the hint and left.
So, I continued to practice on my own. Then one of the coach’s girlfriend and friend who was a girl visited him. They stood next to the white van that was in the warehouse. I got to the part of the form where I was doing tiger claw and I had to make some sounds. They stood there giggling. I was no more than three feet from them when I stopped and glared at them and pointed for them to leave. They did very quickly. Don’t want to lose face to the gweilo. I got to work on it some more.
Then about 15 minutes before I left, around 940pm, the head coach walked out of his office, apparently fed up with the lack of anyone practicing. He proceeded to yell at everyone for about 5 minutes. I didn't understand what he was saying, but I caught the gist of a few things:
1. You guys are practicing, so I am yelling at you because you are lazy dogs.
2. The only one here practicing and doing anything is Fei-long (Phil).
3. I am also yelling at you because its very rude to stare at Fei-long all the time. (He proceeded to point in my general direction and show how he was teaching the Tiger Claw with the shouting) I am trying to teach him and you are being very rude and distracting.
After his yelling, I heard nothing but silence and the distant drone of machinery in the factory next door. It was amazing.
I headed home.

Posted by Phil at 01:52 PM | Permalink

I was supposed to go to hand out flyers today at 11AM with Lynn. However, I woke up at 1030AM, checked my email and there was a message from Lynn saying, “Since this is the last day of school, the kids will be let out earlier. We must go at 10AM. See you then.” I sent a response back.
I had an OK kindergarten class today. It was the “10 Kid Spaz Class”. It was quarter to 5 before I was able to start the class because not all the children were there. Plus, Owen was missing. I called him up. “So, Owen…where are you?” –Oh, I am here at the office. I am busy. I can’t come to class. “Oh, that's nice. Thanks for telling me.” Owen has started picking up bad habits. Not showing up on time for class and not giving us a day’s advance notice on the info. If the foreign teachers do that, we would be penalized severly. Peter has been having these issues with Jolene as well, but much more often. Sometimes she has just not shown up for class without telling Peter. That doesn’t help trying to get the kids to follow directions.
I went home. I was getting ready to go to lion dance practice when Peter pulled out the new bootlegged copy of Stephen Chow’s latest masterpiece “Kung Fu Hustle”. I had to watch it. Besides, everyone was at the house. So we all watched it together. It was great. Very funny. I am gonna get a bunch of copies tomorrow and ship them home in my next care package. The only problem is that these are bootlegged copies and it will take many months for the real DVD to come out, and when that happens, most of the DVDs will be bootlegged anyway. China is full of criminals.

Posted by Phil at 01:51 PM | Permalink

So today was half good. It was a day off and after my usual stuff during the day, around 4pm I was like, I need to get another fone. So, I had all my stuff from my last fone that got stollen: The extra battery and the SIM card. So I figured, i will go get the same fone. After 3 months, the price should have fallen from 800/850 to about 600. HA HA HA. Nope. It was still the same price. I looked at a couple lesser models, but my extra battery would work with them and another battery would cost me 140 RMB. screw that. I will find the same model. I went to a bunch of places, found the cheapest they were selling the model for at 760. So I told the guy 700 and after a couple minutes and looking at things, he was like, sure.
So, he pulled out the fone and I had him test my SIM card and figure out what was wrong. He couldn't get it to work. So after about 30 minutes of him calling China Mobile, me talking to Mountain via Peter's cell fone, and the workers at this place writing chinese down for me to read when I told them five times already that I don't understand, I finally purchased the fone. I would have to take care of the SIM card later. I still had some money on it, so I don't know why it was causing me problems. Nothing is ever easy in this country.
I got back to the house, and Peter was like, oh, you should go to China Mobile above the post office and get it taken care of. So I asked Amy to go with, she said sure. I need to buy her a cake. We went to the place above the post office, but found out it was China Telecom. Peter made a mistake. UGH! Mind you, I am frustrated with alot of stuff by this time. Amy and I walked down to China Mobile by the Flower Hotel. I went to the receptionist and they said all I had to do was put some money on it and it would be fine. so i did that. They had this deal for the New Year, if you purchase time, 100RMB worth, they will give you 160RMB worth of time. Pretty kool.
Its a good thing I got this fone. I am sure I will need it to call Mountain or someone when I am stranded in some backass town in china during the New Year.
I went to Lion Dancing again. The head coach wasn't there. And it wsa just the wunderkind. And, I was the only one practicing. The wunderkind just were sitting and smoking and trying to learn how to do a back flip. Oh well. It was funny to watch. I left about 915pm.
I watched "The Hunting of the President" about the 10year right-wing campaign to bring down President Clinton. While there was alot of truth to it, it was a very very biased documentary. They made Clinton out to be some kind of idealistic icon who could do no wrong. And that all the testimony by the women and McDougals were forced, etc. The way they presented Ken Starr was always in slow motion with dark brooding music over it...sometimes in black n white. I laughed my ass off.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:38 AM | Permalink

Lets just say I am sick and tired of being sick and tired with Chinese people in any sort of business situation. Amy, the chinese girl living at the house that's engaged to Moses, said I couldn't trust certain chinese people and with other stories and things I have heard. Here is the list of chinese people that you can't trust:
1. Tailors - I have a bunch of 1st hand experiences on this
2. Doctors - 1st hand experience
3. BOND - everyday
4. Police - stories
5. Government - its obvious
6. Muslims from the western parts of the country - 1st hand experience
7. China Travel Agency - 1st hand experience
8. Taxi: Motorbike/Car - 1st hand experience
9. Clothes Shops - 1st hand experience
10. DVD/VCD Shops - 1st hand experience
11. Supermarkets - 1st hand experience
12. Many chinese individuals - 1st hand experience
13.
14.

I am sure the list will increase with future dates.
Ok, lets see...about today.
Today was my day off. Went to the suit shop to hopefully pick up my Zhongshan suit. This will be about the 6th time I have had to go there. They don't fix it properly. I told them what needs to be done, when I come back, they either haven't fixed it or its not correct. These people are terrible. I went and got into an hour long arguement with them about the silk shirt still not being cleaned. They removed some stains, but it was still dirty. The collar was still messed up on both shirts. I then got into an arguement about how their pants are still to long in the crotch. Because of that I have a limit range of motion. I want pants that I can do anything in.
About the suit collar: They didnt make it wide enuff, it was uneven, the uneven white silk shirt collar would make this obvious when looked at. I showed them a picture of how its supposed to look and they sort of fixed it. They removed the collar on the shirt and replaced it. What gets me is that this is a very common/old style of chinese clothing, and yet, I know more about it then them. They are tailors, how do they not know how to make the suit properly.
As for the pants: Lets see...from what I can tell all chinese men wear pants that are really long in the crotch and tight in the hips. I dunno why, maybe they are compensating for something. Therefore, when I try and raise my knee or lift my leg to the side, the material catches and it destroys my range of motion. And its not just suit pants, its the same issue I had with the jumpsuit pants. So, a couple days ago I had them fold the waist line over to raise up the crotch, however, it still wasn't what I wanted. So I told them I wanted more. However, the problem is, if they did it over once more, the belt loops would be right on top of the back pockets. It would look horrible. The only thing they could do would be to remake them, and they wont do that unless I pay them more. Horrendous business sense. So, I was telling them what I wanted and they both got upset and said that if I can raise my knee to a certain area, its not his problem. "Um...yes it is. If you want to get paid, it is." Why do the chinese have to be so difficult on everything. Nothing is ever easy. He just doesnt want to do the work of making his customer happy. They told me to bring back a pair of pants that I can do what I am talking about so i said ok. I went home and didn't want to go back till after dinner.
Peter had thrown some steaks on a grill he bought. They were surprisingly good but very chewy. The problem with steaks in this country is that they aren't tender at all. I spent about 2 minutes trying to chew a small bite adequately enough to swallow it. We watched Mad Monster Party. Very bizarre movie. Its an old 50s/60s stop motion made by the same people that made Rudolph and Frosty the Snowman. It is also voiced by Boris Karloff. Phyllis Diller is also in it...
I then asked Echo to call my sifu to find out about any performances during the Chinese New Year.
Feb 6th: Hong Kong
Feb 9th: Shunde
Feb 23rd: ShiQi
Coolness. I will have people to celelbrate with and get some great video. For the 10 days I have to travel between the 10th - 20th, I think I will go to places not to far from here. It will be kool. I have to make up a plan of attack.
Did laundry.
After dinner, went back to the suit shop with my pants that fit and allow a large range of motion. Dealt with them for another hour and a half about how to fix the pants. I still had to deal with them on the collar. I also took my jumpsuit pants back to be redone since they did a half ass job the first time. I told Amy to them that I don't want to hear any refusals, just do what I say. They didn't listen and finally I just got really sick and tired of dealing with their crap and I was like screw it, I can't deal with this junk anymore. Give me my stuff, I am outta here. "Hey Amy, tell them I will never come here again and I will tell all the foreigners not to visit this place." She did. Service sucks here.
Then I went to Lion Dancing. I was late because of the suit shop. It was empty. All the kids were out studying for finals this week. I was taught some more of Hong Quan #2. Then some of the wunderkind there tried showing me the cymbals to the drum beat.
While learning the cymbols, one of the wunderkind, Victor, noticed something in the road. He yelled and a bunch of the chinese guys went outside, I followed to see what the commotion was. There had been an accident. What I saw was a motorscooter laying on its side with its blinkers on next to the 3 foot wide median with bushes. I was still on the side walk and I saw no one. I figured that since the blinkers were on, the owner of the scooter had gotten up to go talk to the authorities, there were some right next door to the Lion Dance Center. So, I went back to the drum to practice on my own. Then I noticed more and more chinese rubberneckers show up and stand around. (the chinese are the biggest gawkers in the world) So I was like, why are they just standing around looking at a knocked over bike. So I went out to look again, and there was a larger group of people by the bike along with some authorities. I got closer to the bike and was able to see over the bushes. There lay the man, unconcious (i think) with a little pool of blood on the cement street underneath his head. From what I could tell, it was still flowing. Off in the distance I heard sirens coming. I don't know how long he had been laying here, it must have been more than 10 minutes. What gets me is that no one, who say the man laying there, did anything to help. For example, check his pulse, look for breathing. They just watched him there. I know I failed in not doing enuff to help and I am upset with that. I came to the wrong assumption. I sure hope this guy pulls through. He wasn't wearing a helmet and he looked as though he was out. He just lay there crumpled.
The medics arrived and I saw one checking the guy and it look as though there were some muscle responses so he was still alive. As I stood there feeling horrible for my inaction, I noticed a few chinese staring at me. As I came up to the accident scene when I first saw the man lying on the street, I noticed a few guys look at me, then get this worried look on their face. They looked at the guy, then back at me, then back at the guy, then back at me. The only thing they could have been thinking is this: "What do I look at: The white foreigner standing next to me or the unconcious man lying in the street with a head wound? I CAN'T DECIDE! AIYA!" Don't think me as inconsiderate to the man hurt, but this is what happened.
I think there about three possibilities of what happened.
1. I noticed his tire lock was laying on the street behind me a few yards. So, its possible, his tired lock slipped down while he was driving and got caught in the spokes of his front wheel causing him to get thrown for it like in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
2. He hit a rock or something in the street that caused him to fly out.
3. His bike tire somehow skidded against the median curb/ or he hit the curb and he was thrown from the bike.
Mind you this guy was thrown about 10 feet from where the bike lay.
I was still amazed that with all these people standing around, no one tried to help. They just stared. I mentioned this to Peter and he thinks that its possible that China does not have the equivalent to the
Good Samaritan Law in Canada and the USA. They prolly didnt want to get involved. Also, the chinese hate anything dirty or that carries germs, so touching another man's bleeding body is a turn off for them. Which I can understand, but thats why we have skin...its a barrier against stuff like that. However, you always must be careful.
The thing is they hate everything dirty and full of germs yet China is unbelievably dirty, the people throw their trash on the ground, in the river, (yes, i know Americans do this too, but not all Americans do it near the amount here) and they are allowed to spit on the dinner table. They also don't have soap in bathrooms to kill germs and they don't offer toilet paper.
Chinese say foreigners can never understand their culture...and they pride themselves on this...which I don't know why....the stuff I can't understand is how can they do such horrendous things.
Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 11:21 PM | Permalink

I had class with Jack, Violet, and Daisy today. It was very good. I had the kids asking each other, "May I please have...." and a bunch of other junk. It was fantastic. Very enjoyable. I then headed out to meet up with Robert because he wanted to look at buying a video camera. I havne't looked at Handheld DV cameras lately. Man, they have gotten much smaller, and are good prices. Very cool stuff....I want another camera. :D

Posted by Phil at 11:56 AM | Permalink

Well, John's contract is up today, Jan 15th. He plans to go traveling around China for about a month long in the next couple days, then return here to get all his stuff and then head back to Buffalo. He doesn't know what he will do. He has to think about it. I will miss the bugger. We are gonna have a party for him in the evening.
I went to Dim Sum with Yumi and Rumi today about 1230pm. It was good. However, they didnt have any Chow Shou Bou (steamed pork buns) which are my favourite and they also didn't have any of those Sesame balls. I really think its interesting that the best Dim Sum I have ever had was in America. It was either in Windsor or Shangri-La in Farmington Hills. That stuff was the best so far.
I then headed home to prepare for my 3pm class with Daisy and the Sunday gang. I have Sat and Sun teaching with them because I already had 2 days off this week. I went to the BOND office a few minutes to get paid. They also gipped me out of 75RMB I paid for the gas tank. Jerks. Gary searched for a classroom and since the chinese go to school on Saturdays, all the classrooms were filled with students of the middle schools. So, Gary said, "Phil, would you like to teach here in the office." I was like, dude, 4 rambonctious kids in this tiny office with about 5 people in it as well. No. Why don't we just use the gym. Gary was like...thats a great idea. OK.
Tony showed up. Great. He sat down. Lit up a cigarrette and Gary then proceeded to kick him out. Smoke outside you inconsiderate bag. I think he is gonna start pestering Doris, the new girl. It then got around 315pm and Daisy and them still hadn't shown. I was like, where are they. Gary called up them up, while he was ringing he said, "Maybe Lynn just told them yesterday about the class today." How is that possible...I have known about this class on saturday for a whole week. Daisy's mom is the one who organized the class and wanted it. Why would they not know?
Gary talked to her and apparently Daisy's mom said that she heard that I was really busy Saturday so that she didn't want to make me busier...what? Huh? Whatever.
There are two possibilities here:
1. Lynn didn't tell them about it though she told me...which is what most likely happened.
2. Daisy's mom thought I was busy because Lynn just told her about the class yesterday and said that they were busy, not Phil.
The class consequently got canceled. Bummer. Day off. :D Lack of planning.
I headed home to do some stuff I needed to do. Plus, i think I am still tired. I didnt sleep well.
Headed to John's at 730pm to enjoy some festivities. While he is gone, I am gonna borrow a bunch of DVDs that I wanted to check out. The boys were at his place and the girls were upstairs at Suzannah's. Sean, John, Peter, Owen, Mountain, and I hung out, playing cards, watched a couple shows of Mr. Show...hilarious.
Then the girls came down and we were all talking and chillin. Very nice. Jolleen had copped out. Apparently she is really upset that John is leaving and she didn't want to take part in his going away party. That sounds wierd to me. So John called her and chatted while we celebrated. Yumi and Rumi made this little foto album with all of us writing something in it. It was great. I got some video of the nite. Peter and I, before the girls came over went out to get a cake and some snacks and beer. So we had the makings.
After that, we headed to the first Disco in Xiaolan. This is the place that we went to Karaoke at previous in the week after the Guzhen shows. The place with the disturbing framed pictures hanging on the walls. The place was dead. I believe its because of the weather. The guangdong-ese people think 40 degrees is freezing and are afraid of it. However, I found that I like this place a heck of a lot better than COWBOY. The music here is actually enjoyable. It sounds alot like western style electronic dance music instead of wretched chinese dance music. I was liking some of the tunes.
So, we hung out there for awhile. Dancing, being silly, having fun.
I got home around 2AM. Time for beddy. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 05:55 PM | Permalink

Got up today and headed down to ShiQi. Lynn wrote the address of the stop down for me to get off the #38 Bus at. That is where I met Maria at. I showed the addy to the bus driver and she motioned for me to get off when we got there. I got there at 1015am and Maria didnt show up till about 1030am. So I wandered around. I ran into Maria as I was wandering. We then crossed the street to the medical place.
I sat down while she talked to the guy. I filled out a form. "The whole process should take about 30 minutes." Yeah, right. I bet it will take four hours. Boy was I wrong. After about waiting for my turn about 15 minutes, They took me nextdoor and did everything and it lasted about 30 minutes. We got out of their at 1115am. Wow. I never expected that. I wonder why they were on time and every other chinese thing I participate in is late. Strange...very strange. Maybe its white people behind a curtain running everything. "DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THE WHITE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!"
This is what I had done:
-Blood Pressure, body check out, weight, eyes, etc.
-A 1 minute dental exam.
-A chest X-Ray
-An ECG
-An UltraSound
-A blood test (the most important)
During this, a physician saw my passport foto and giggled. He said I looked like Tony Blair in the foto. Hmmm. I have heard of many people that I look like but never Tony Blair. Thats a first.
After that, I walked with Maria to BOND office. I was waiting for Amanda to return at 12 to discuss some things on my contract. Sure arrived and my food showed up. It was some awesome BBQ pork and green veggies......sooooooo gooooood. I told Amanda that I want it to say, "No evening classes, 2 consecutive days off, and one of the days needs to be Sunday." I must keep it Holy.
After that I was happy. I skipped down the stairs and went to jump over the last 4 steps when SMACK!
While I was in the air I smashed my head on the blue metal bar that is one of the tracks for the metal gate. I fell right on my ass. It didn't really hurt when I did it. I was more just shocked with it. Clyde was there and he heard the sound and spun around to watch me fall on my ass. I got up pretty easily. Damn. i wasn't bleeding and it didn't feel like I would have a bump, still don't have one as I write this. It sat down for a minute then took off. Got to Fu Hua Jo Dian (hotel) were the busses were and I walked to the music store where my two guitars that I want are. Once i figure out what I am doing for Chinese New Years I am gonna go buy them. Sweet. Still there.
I headed back the bus. I got my ticket and headed home. I got home about 2pm. I was mad again because my iPod didn't even hold a charge for 40 minutes. AIYA.
I got home and prepared some lessons for my kindy class and then I planned to go to Guzhen to film the performance. Kindy was good. Came home ate dinner and headed to Guzhen.
It was a cold night tonite. My nose was really cold. I wish I had my jacket. I videotaped it. It was ok. There were some funny things like Clyde's "This is my Life" bit and the balloons. Peter tried doing this thing were we listen to head fones and sing along with the chinese songs and have the audience try to guess them. Apparently its a hit or miss thing because we were told people love it, however, the audience sure didn't. They started to leave at this point. Peter did it once first, then Clyde, then Peter had me come up and after a minute I was like, "No". So Peter tried to do it with me. He was like, "I don't know these songs either." But the next song was one he knew. LOL! oh well. While he was singing I was like, "You're losing them YOU'RE LOSING THEM! CRASH & BURN!" Most of the audience started to leave, so Peter was like, OK, something else.
Some things just sound like they will work but when you actually do them...they don't. The problem with this game is that: The only thing the audience is seeing is a gweilo wearing headfones looking completely confused not being able to sing along with or pronounce the words. There is nothing else for them. It is boring.
Well, after that was over, Clyde did a balloon game. We eventually ended at about 853pm. 7 minutes before we were supposed to, but Oh Well. Not a big deal. We then headed home. We had some interesting and funny conversations in the van on the way home. Jolleen kept saying things that could be taken many different ways.
I got home and then went out with Yumi. Came home, and typed this up. Time for bed. I am going to Dim Sum tomorrow afternoon with Yumi and Rumi. mmmmmmDim sum.

Posted by Phil at 05:19 PM | Permalink

Got up this morning, and headed for the shower. The water was coming out and the igniter was clicking, but the gas wasn't firing up. So i punch the box and it started right up. If all else fails, hit it. Maybe I should try that with the chinese people. ;-)
I headed out. It rained during the night and it was still sprinkling. Crap. It hasn't rain for a month or so. Hopped a motorbike taxi to the bus station. I got there, grabbed a ticket for the next bus that started boarding 1 minute ago. Sweet. It was 820AM. Early start. I fell asleep on the bus.
I got thru customs and the border with no troubles. There was harldy any line-ups.
I walked around Macau and planned a little couple sight seeing things: Head down to Sedano Square (the shopping walking street area), then head over to Taipa Island to see the four headed Buddha, then head back to Mong Ha Hill on Macau proper. Lots of Taxi driving this entailed. I am glad I did it though, sure it was a little expensive, however, it beats getting stuck on Public Transportation for many hours. Its soooo slow. This place is too crowded.
I was disappointed when I got to the four headed Buddha statue because the map made it seem like it would be really big, but its not. Its about half the size of me. So, i took some pictures and hopped another taxi to Mong Ha Hill.
Its a real shame that it was raining all day. Because I took some fotos that would have been beautiful had it been bright and sunny like it usually is. Mong Ha was cool. I walked around the park area and trails. Very pretty. Went up to the Fort de Macau. Went off the beaten path n stuff. See for yourself from the pictures. The taxi guy took me up to the top where there was an educational resturant. A place where they train new cooks n stuff. I didn't eat there, i just hung out there to plan my attack on the hill. I headed back out into the rain and sight saw.
After I was done, I headed out and stopped by Lin Fong Temple and took a couple shots. Then I headed out. It was about 2pm when I took off from Macau. I hung around in Zhuhai shopping and looking for stuff. I found this real nice practice Bagua Dao at a sports area in the giant mall. It was 210RMB, but I tried for 120RMB and the lady wouldn't go below 200RMB. Lady, it ain't even worth 100RMB. Mind you, 200RMB is $24US. If I go back, I may try again.
I eventually caught the bus at 4pm. I got back into Xiaolan at 530pm. I am gettin really frustrated because my iPod won't hold a charge now past 1 hour. The major downfall to the iPod, the lack of battery power. Well, my plan is, when I get my Z-visa, I will head to Hong Kong and have it fixed up.
I went to the Kodak shop to get some more Passport fotos made in 1 hour because I need 8 for Z-VISA processing and I only have 7. After that I went to get some photocopies made of my Passport for the processing as well. I then headed to the computer shop to get some DV Tapes because we are running low on tapes for the Guzhen Stage taping all this week.
The guy wanted 150RMB for 5 tapes and I said 120RMB. He wouldn't do it at first, but I said 120. He checked it out, 28/tape instead of 30/tape. He finally relented and said sure. But he pretended to be upset. Dude, Peter and I are like the only people that buy these tapes from this guy. He should be grateful we gweilos are honoring him with our presence and support.
I picked up my passport fotos and headed home. It was a really chilly night tonite. I don't want to go to practice because its gonna be super cold.
I got back to the Big House thinking I would pass Peter on the way heading out to Guzhen. I got there and they said that Guzhen was canceled because it was too cold. Sweet. I didn't have to go at all, but it was nice nontheless to know Peter and Mark and Clyde didn't have to spend more time wasted on it.
Around 8pm Amy went with me to pick up my pants and try on my suit. The silk pants fit great. Can't wait to use them. I then tried on the suit. Fit pretty nicely however there were a couple problems.
1. The pants were too long in the crotch, so I looked around on them and I had them take an a bit less than an inch off the top. It would fit perfect then.
2. The shoulders of the jacket were super tight, i tried to pull my elbows back and they wouldn't go, it snagged a bunch. Then I tried to put my hands on my head and they couldn't go that hi. The couple kept saying its supposed to be like that. I am sorry, but I am sure Chinese people are able to comb their hair while wearing this suit and have manueverability of their arms while wearing it.
3. The collar had no space in it where it came together. So they said that if you wear a shirt it will fix it, so I tried on this nice white silk shirt that goes with the suit, and still the collar didn't work. So they will fix that.
4. Plus, there was a bubble between the 2nd and 3rd button down.
I want quaility damnit!
And, I figured, since they were late on doing everything, and having it done, I deserved a deal on it. Like less money or a discount on something. So for the same price of 400, i tried to get them to throw in that real nice white silk shirt for free. They got pissed. They were complaining and not letting up.
She would offer me 65 for the shirt and she cut a piece of the material and said take this to other tailors and try and get if for less than 80RMB. I figured, doing that, she knew what she was talking about. So, i thought about it, so I said, 450 for everything. After about 5 minutes of intense discussion amongst themselves, they said OK. I felt good about it. I felt I nailed the chinese with thier own deal system. But I wonder if they got me. Who knows. Amy thinks its a good deal. 450RMB =$54US.
Headed home.

Posted by Phil at 04:33 PM | Permalink

Oh. This is something I forgot to mention in today's journal entry. I thought I would make a seperate one for this because its kinda important.
So, there I sat doing something on my computer today and getting ready for Guzhen tonite. Peter is chatting with me next to the computer. He then said this....
"Yeah, so, Echo went to the doctor's today to get checked out. She tested positive...................
for a baby. Echo's pregnant." JEEZ MAN! What's with the dramatic pause. As he said, "Tested positive" followed with the dramatic pause, I froze and turned my whole body to look at him. I had a look of fear in my eyes. I thought he was gonna say "HIV". He scared the crap outta me for a second. He then said "Baby". Man was I sorta relieved.
"Yeah, she woke up this morning puking her guts out." What a lovely thought. Thanks for sharing.
"We are gonna have it run again to be sure, but the doctor's pretty darn sure of it." Wow...so I guess this means....wow...you gonna be a dad. Wow. Thats weird. Well, best of luck to you. Peter loves kids, he enjoys kindergarten and lower grade classes and kids love him so its possible he will be a great dad. I was like, "so...when you guys gonna get married." Here in China...its not like in the States....if you get pregnant, its "You're getting married." There is no "if"s, "and"s, or "but"s about it. Luckily they have been planning on getting married and her family loves him. So thats a positive. I asked if they have set a date and he said in maybe in May. I was like, well, I gots a great present for ya...besides the DVD.
That was something interesting that happened today. Wow.

Posted by Phil at 11:50 PM | Permalink

Well today was ok. I flyed my school this morning. I passed out the most cause all the kids wanted to say hi to me. I spoke with Coco and told her I would be returning next term. She was happy. But when she first saw me, she said her sister's boss wanted to meet me. Too bad. I have decided to stay. Need the Z-VISA. I have a plan for Foshan though....hmmmm.
After that I went to the gym and figured out how to run my iPod through the speaker system. Finally. I then went to the Tailor to pick up my pants that he was supposed to duplicate and have done on Monday. HE HADN'T EVEN STARTED ON THEM AT ALL!!!! WTF! They were sitting on the counter. Then I asked about them, he said tomorrow. I asked about my suit, he said tomorrow, thought they were due today. Thats it, you are not getting paid the full amount. If you tell me they will be done in a week, then have them done in a week. Thats how things work. If you don't make the period, you lose money. Why can't these people get it thru their heads. One thing I miss about the US is customer service....oh do I miss it.
Went home and prepared for my performance tonite. I got some games down.
1. Wordmash - write a big long line of alphabet characters and have kids underline words they see.
2. Acting - like the game on Who's Line is it Anyways, i gave a kid a word and they would act it out for one guesser.
3. Drawing - kids would draw pictures and they would guess what it is
4. Did a quick recap of last nite.
5. I prepared a song for Karaoke - Beatles "She Loves You" and I also prepared to teach the TIME WARP from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I found out after I planned it all that Toby wanted to come along and play guitar. Well, thats some time killer. We headed out to Guzhen around 7pm.
I went first because Suzannah and Sean were gonna do their thing together. So, I went on for a good 30 minutes and did my stuff. I wasn't too happy about it, the kids weren't participating that well. They wouldn't put theirselves out there. I kept saying, "Dare to be the first!" You chinese always say that, yet you never do it. Hypocrits. Some of it was fun, but I was frustrated thru most of it. Its on video, but I don't want to watch it.
Then Toby went on after me and played and sang Bye Bye Love. It was ok. The kids seem to like Toby for some reason. Which is good. Then Suzannah and Sean came on. I figured, hey, together they should have about an hour prepared since they are logged to work for 30 minutes each, but ha ha...that didn't happen. It was about 825pm when they went on. They were finished in 20 minutes. Peter and I were pissed. Peter was MC-ing tonite. We both spent all this work on our things, yet they come out with nothing planned. And Suzannah being scared of being on camera, speaking on mic, or in front of people on a stage didn't help matters. Get over it and do your job. While Sean was playing a game with the people, Suzannah was all like, "What should we do?" I was all like, "Do your Karaoke you had planned, the chinese will go nuts." She was like all, "I think you should do The Time Warp, they would enjoy that." Yeah, and then you wouldn't be taking care of your responsibility.
So, we had 20 minutes to kill and Toby just wandered onto the stage by accident. And he began blabbering and wasting time. Peter and I were like, "Why would any Chinese want to stand in this cold for this?" He just kept walking around and blabbering with the kids...the kidson stage liked it, but the audience must have been bored.
While he was doing this, Suzannah was trying to think of other things to do. "Do the karaoke you planned on." I said. She was like, "Let's do wheelbarrels." Ugh...Ok, thats a good idea. Kids would like it. But why not Karaoke. "Oh, Do the timewarp."
ugh.
Anywho, Ash showed up near the end. Toby proceeded to run out the 20 minutes with doing nothing. Surprising. Oh well. After it was all over, Toby, Sean, and Suzannah went out with Ash to some Guzhen clubs. Leiana, Peter, me, and the chinese folk headed home. I talked with Lynn about lots of stuff too. I got back here and prepared VISA stuff for Friday and tomorrow.
Now I am here typing this up. But I need to go to bed. I have to go to Macau. goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:23 PM | Permalink

Well, today since I don't have classes at all, I have to go help out with distributing flyers. We met at the office and went to one of the schools. Despite that I hate doing this, it was enjoyable because it was Peter, Clyde, and me passing them out to a bunch of Primary School kids. Clyde was pushing them onto people, even just random passerbys. I had gotten it down to an art. As the kids drive with their parents on the scooter, I hold the flyer out and the kid snags it without ever a stop. I also gave some to those who didnt' ask for it, for example, throwing a couple in their back trailer.
BOND feels that if they pass out these flyers, they will get more business. However, the problem with it is, after we pass them out, we see them litered all over the city. BOND should be arrested for littering. Another problem is that the prices for English classes are super expensive. Most likely too expensive for the people they are passing the flyers out too.
Basically, most kids would come get them because we are gweilos and they want to interact and stare at us. Clyde kept saying, "Here, feed other people's greed."
At one point some middleschoolers rode by on a bicycle and scream out, "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" The three of us couldn't help but laugh really hard. Hilarious.
After that was over, i headed to the gym, then went home to prepare for my Kindergarten class and stage performance in Guzhen.
For kindergarten I taught "Family" so I had them draw pictures and say who each member of the family was.
The stuff for Guzhen I got was this: Intro, Chinese Whispers (Telephone), Phil Says, Teach Left & Right, Hokey Pokey, Duck Duck Goose.
We took the BOND van at 7pm and got there, we were prepared by 740 to go. Sean went on first and did this thing with push ups and having kids say an animal while they do it. I think he underestimated how much time would drag on stage...30 minutes is a long time. So, after about 10 minutes or something, he pretty much ended. So, I went on and rocked the house. I was all like, "Are you ready to learn English?!"...Yeah!..."I said, Are you read to learn English?!"...Yeah!..."I can't hear ya! Are you ready to learn some English!!??"...YEAH!!..."ALRIGHT!"
I had tons of kids come up on stage for Chinese Whispers, more than I expected. These were the things i said: I am Chinese, I am a Jelly Donut, I am the Walrus - Goo Goo Ka Chu, Johnny Knoxville, Astronomical Anomaly, and Siu Lam Gung Fu Seng - Hou Hou Yeh.
Some of the responses were hilarious.
The end of the game came when a kid yelled out, "YOU ARE FAT!"
excuse me? what did you call me you Godless Little Bastard? you want to insult me in front of everyone? fine, I will humiliate you in front of everyone. I made him stand in the horse stance in the center of the stage in front of all the kids and audience members. That will make me gain face and cause you to lose some. Lessons need to be taught. The audience enjoyed that.
After that we played "Phil Says". I got them doing Gong Fu and the place loved it. Then I showed them the Left and Right stuff. Then we played Hokey Pokey. Everyone got a kick out of it. I then went off stage. I was up there for about 40 minutes. Then John came on and did Musical Chairs for about 25 minutes. When he was done, we realized we still had 10 minutes to kill. So Sean did a game for 5 minutes and I did Duck Duck Goose after that, and man, these kids were fast. I was totally not expecting it. Very different from Kindergarten. They kept taggin me. THIS IS NO FUN!
We have it all on video.
After that we went to Karaoke. Apparently this was the first Disco in town. Long before COWBOY Bar. To bad its the same crappy music. But anywho, we went into a Karaoke room. The one that the gang went to the night before. That's when Jane, the Boss's wife, got completely hammered and was falling on the ground. I have seen pictures from Peter. Also, hanging in this room are two really disturbing paintings.
1. What looks like the beast from Beauty and the Beast having intercourse with a naked white woman.
2. What looks like about 5 demons raping a naked white woman.
Why these PAINTINGS were hanging in the karaoke room of a club are beyond me. I mean, these aren't hentai, because they are paiting like a western style painting. Its just creepy.
So, basically, the gang of us started singing most of the english songs on the computer. They had alot surprisingly. We got to sing alot. Mostly it was me, John, and Peter that did most of it. Others sang too.
I only drank tea, but I was having such a blast that I seemed like I was...wait a second, no, I had two shots of Bei-Jiu. Nevermind.
Other than that, I headed home at 1AM.
I have most of the night on tape. I get to do it again tomorrow nite. YEAH!....NOT!

Posted by Phil at 09:54 AM | Permalink

As you may or may not notice, I did a little site update. The title banner is different. Everytime you load the website, there will be a different title. I put those together late tonite and gave it to Jenn to update. Thanx a load. good nite.

Posted by Phil at 11:52 PM | Permalink

Xiaolan has been giving off an interesting funk the past few days. I haven't been able to pin point what it was until I was at Lion Dance practice tonite.
The open areas smell like cold sausage. The alleyways smell like a mix between cold sausage and baby powder. Its really wierd. Its funky. I wonder what has been causing it all of a sudden.
Other than that, today was good. Had lunch with Yumi. It was nice. Cleaned stuff.
Oh, I got my Christmas present harddrive from Erock and Jen...ROCKING! Its awesome! I know have more space to make all my chinese DVDs I plan to work on. A box set. every 3 months there will be one. Koolio.
Talk to you guys later...i smell. Time for a shower.

Posted by Phil at 10:25 PM | Permalink

NO GUZHEN TEACHING THIS MORNING! sweet.
I went to get a two hour massage today around 1230pm. They do foot massages really good here...apparently. It was ok. When they got to the heel of my left foot (which was the first foot they did) I fell asleep. In addition to the foot they did legs, arms, shoulder and back. I wish they did a bit more with the back and head. They didnt try for any "happy endings" thank the Maker.
I then had a lesson at 3pm.
After I got done with class and a quick lunch at Wooden Chair I headed home. John was there. I proceeded to do something, then when I came out again, Jolleen had shown up and we sat down to watch Spirited Away - a really good japanese animation movie....its very very bizarre.
Its not hentai or anything.
We then went out to grab a cheap but good dinner. It was yummy. Came back here.

Posted by Phil at 09:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today was another interesting one. I slept in. Woke up and did some laundry. Headed to the gym at 1pm. At the gym the girl working behind the counter likes to speak to me in chinese knowing full well I don't know much. And then she tries to write what I say. AIYA! Duh, I can't read either.
Well, anyway, i come down from the locker room and she comes running up to me with this green bamboo looking stuff. Now, this ain't bamboo, its sugar cane...i think. Its a long rod that you scrape off the green outerlayer and then chomp on the wood inside and suck the sweet juice out of it. Then you spit the chewed up wood into the trash. Its good. Sweet. A desert. Very interesting. She explained to me that she bought me a rod. Ok...you didn't have to. I didn't accept it at first, but she wouldn't take "no" for an answer.
After I got done there, I went to the little shop for lunch. While waiting for the food to cook, I checked out Sheng-Ya DVD shop. They had Kung Fu Hustle out already, however no English Subtitles. Poop. I then found "The Blade" but it had no english either. ugh.
I head back and eat my lunch. I then go to pay for it and they say they don't want my money. I am like it costs 5RMB. here is the money. And they are all speaking to me and I can't understand. So, finally one of them makes it real simple. Some guy sitting at another table who had left awhile ago and I didnt notice at all had paid for my lunch. Whoa. Why did he do that? I was confused. Surprised as well.
I then headed home. On the way home two guys on a mo-ped drove by. As they passed me they looked and started to laff and giggle and they slowed down and were staring back at me as they kept driving on around the corner. "PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD, JERKFACE!" He ran into a car pulling out of a drive way. Serves you right, Moron. I hope that teaches you not to stare.
I got home and then I got ready because Peter and I had to meet up with Sean, John, Clyde, Suzannah, and Mark Lee at Continental Cafe to discuss this Guzhen English performance next week. We had our discussion and I got more info into Clyde's past involving his stint in the porn industry. Very bizarre stuff. Apparently, his company was responsible for sending out tons of Porn SPAM from 97-00. He said in 1 year alone, his boss reaped in more than $2million from SPAM alone. He had tons of other funny stories. All in all, he is a very interesting guy and he is one of the funniest guys too. I say he is right behind Matt Naas in the funny category.
We discussed stuff and we had some decent Western Buffet food. The fries were fantastic. After that we went upstairs and played some snooker. Well, we played pool on the giant snooker tables. Ash had shown up by then. I was playing against him and he was standing next to ball I was shooting at. Some how the ball popped off the table and hit him in the waist, nothing bad, but the shock of a ball flying off the table and hitting him caused him to accidently shove his pool cue into his mouth. No major damage, just a small small cut.
Oh, what I said earlier about the guys on the mo-ped running into the car...that didnt' really happen. Though I wish it did. These jerks were staring and laffing at me as they were driving slow ahead of me...i wish they would have gotten their come-up-ings.
After pool, we headed over to the Beer Gardens. Sean brought along someone he met. A guy named Martin. We just chatted a couple hours. Toby was being all philosophical...at one point I, due to his non stop discussion/one-sided arguement, i started banging my head on the table. SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Damon showed up after his class was over and we chatted a bit.
Anywho, about Martin. He is this Chinese guy that was born in HK. About 12 years ago, he moved to England. He spoke English with a Chinese/British accent. He had a couple kids that he raised and they were now off doing other stuff. He had saved up enuff money on his own that he moved to Xiaolan, where is mother is from, to retire. He looks quite young. He said life is too short. I am assuming he is divorced from his kids mom, because he said when he got here, he got a girlfriend, bought a horse, and got a new kid...."Instant Family." We laughed for about 5 minutes after that one. JUST ADD WATER.
sweeet.
Damon, Martin, and I chatted about lots of things, including Taiji, while Toby was blabbering on about something useless. Toby then said, "Politics...Let's talk about Chinese Politics...that Chairman Mao..what's up with him..." SHUT UP YOU RETARD!!!!
We took off about 12AM and I walked home. It had gotten chilly and I was wearing just a long sleeve shirt. No jacket.burr. good nite.

Posted by Phil at 09:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Hopfully today it has cooled off. my first class, I only got a couple of cat calls. Thankfully. My second class was canceled right as I almost entered the room. Lucy said, "Oh, i want to give a test...so you can have a rest." Not like I need a rest. I wish she could have told me yesterday because then I could have gone and done something else to make use of my time. Instead I am just wasting it in the office. Thats the chinese way.
Today is my last day at this school for this sememster. If I do decide to come back to BOND for another 6 months, its possible I may not be back here. I would like to though.
This morning I asked Anna, "Does the Headmaster ever smile? Everytime i see him, he looks mad, or with no emotion." After she figured out what I was talking about she laughed and she said that I wasn't the only one. Everyone else says hi and he shows no emotion whatsoever. Strange.
The system has defeated him.
I need to find out if I have to teach Kindergarten next week. I dont believe so, but I need to make sure. I also have to decide about other positions soon. If I stay here, I need to get my VISA taken care of before Chinese Winter Holiday. That would be nice. But being this China...it won't work.
I got my last couple 3rd grade classes to play hangman among themselves. That went over very well. The kids loved it. They all wanted to pick the word and write it on the board.
After class was over I left. It sure didn't feel like the last day at the school.
I had kindergarten and that went ok. I made Psycho Pig-Pen sit out for about 20 minutes.
Then I went out to dinner with Peter and some of his English teachers. I was super tired from everything thru out the week that I feel asleep on the schools benches while waiting for the teachers to get ready. We headed to the dinner and it was ok. The teachers already knew me from TV. They ordered a pig's stomach filled with lots of stuff. It was funny to see them bring out a stomach bloated up and blood red. They then put it in a pot and turned it into a soup. they also had this fish that was just ok. I really liked the dried Sweet Potatoes though. We had dinner with the teachers, headmaster and principal, who was the husband of the english teacher from my school that gave birth this semester.
After that was over, I came home and fell asleep at 10pm....goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 09:33 AM | Permalink

These kids are really pissing me off. They disrupt classes by yelling out, "FEI LONG!" "CHINESE GONG FU!" And then they would giggle. And others would giggle making it worse. And a couple kids would jump up and do some punches in the air....Oh...only if they let me punch you....hard.
My 3rd grade class today really made me mad. I walked in. The kids went nuts, some were rushing to the front of the room and yelling my name and saying Chinese Gong Fu! I finally got them to sit down. They then continued to talk with each other and barely pay attention.
Also, as all the kids sat, one said, "F--- You!" So I took him to the front and made him stand in the horse stance.
There is that fat psycho in the class who definitely has some wires crossed. Constantly talking during class, not listening, and jumping up in the middle of class and kicking a kids desk. He was using his 6 inch ruler as a sword. After about 20 minutes I sent him to sit next to Lucy, the teacher, hopefully that would keep him quiet....nope.
He almost seemed to get worse and he was yelling back at Lucy when she scolded him. None of the kids were able to follow directions.
This was the last day with these kids and they ruined it. I hope they are happy.
5th grade classes weren't much better. No kids needed to be sent to the front, but kids were not paying attention and being disruptive.
Kindergarten was intereesting. I walk in the school and all the kids are in the playground area rehearsing for tomorrow's sport's day or something. It was hilarious watching these kids march all around. So I videotaped it with my Digital Camera. Very funny. And all the kids were calling out my name. So, my class was shortened to about 35 minutes. They were alot of fun today. It was nice.
Daisy came by to say hi afterwards like always. She is getting a little too attached, she doesn't want to let me leave. Oh well.
I then went with Amy to the tailor trying to get some things fixed and created.
1. Take my workout pants to get hemmed.
2. Have those workout pants that I have had for 3 years duplicated exactly but with silk.
3. Have my new jumpsuit pants fixed up in the crotch.
4. Have two Zhongshan Suits built.
After all was said and done, the pants are in the work, i need to take the jumpsuit pants back again tomorrow so they can fix it better. The chinese just don't believe in quality of work. Thats what happens in communist regimes. And I will only get one suit instead of two. The second, the fabric I wanted was too damn expensive. From experience, I am guess the suit will suck as well. If its bad quality, I am gonna bust some heads. "I GIVE YOU BUSINESS, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME!"
I went to liondancing tonite. I was late for a stupid reason. However, I just practiced my stuff and got some fine tuning. The head coach yelled at all the lion dancers who were just sitting down and smoking..i was like...HARDCORE!
I am also trying to decide where to go after this 6 months is up. Should I stay and maybe get a Z-VISA or go somewhere else and leave friends, lion dancing with a very talented man, and other things i like behind and spend about 6 months readjusting to another crap hole?
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:03 PM | Permalink

Nothing to special. My 6th grade classes went surprisingly ok. Found out I dont have to go to classes anymore next week and stuff, however, BOND has set up some evening classes all next week. I have to go to Macau for VISA issues next week on Thursday.
I ripped my new jumpsuit pants. However, it was excpected because the pants don't fit my hips properly, so I will have a tailor put more fabric in the crotch so I can have some more room.
I went to Lion Dancing today. There was not that many people there. It seemed I was the only one practicing as well. I mean, the girls were doing the dragon, but all the lion dancers were just sitting around and smoking. Nothing irritates me more than going to practice and having people not practicing, sitting around and smoking.
They got a new lion. Amazing to see it all clean.
The Headcoach watched me doing Hong Quan. He liked it. He then showed me Hong Quan #2. This is the one with cutting fists. I have seen fotos of it and a painting of Wong FeiHong doing it at the museum. Its really cool. I picked it up right away and he was laffing. So thats good. I then headed home.

Posted by Phil at 10:47 PM | Permalink

Apparently, sometime over the weekend all my students saw the news story on TV. It was also on last nite. So, I came into school today and students were running to see me and yelling out "Fei-Long! Fei-Long!" and then taking martial art stances. There are some standing around my desk as I type this up. And one of them pointed at me and said, "Beautiful garden." um....what? Its cute, but I am sure by third period it will get a bit annoying. Oh well, I have learned to deal with being a celebrity before when I got here, i can do it again. Whats even funnier is that most of the teachers here have done the same thing. I appreciate it, but it just seems like they blow it out of proportion. But its just because they don't usually see a white fella practicing.
I will let you know how the rest of the day progresses.I have one class down, four more to go.
The second class went well then I headed off to the gym. I was at the gym doing some machine and one of the attendants was flipping through the TV stations. I then looked up and there I was on TV again. Man, they are playing this to death. After the gym and lunch I rode back to class. On the way there a little kid saw me riding and started chasing after me yelling out, "Phil!" I stoppped. I don't recognize you. "Chinese gung fu is great!" and he just stood there looking at me with this huge smile on his face. -Is that it kid? nothing else? Thanks alot. :D
I then headed back to school.
I walked in and more kids were shouting Fei Long and chinese gung fu. It got really annoying when I kept seeing the same boys all day and they constantly said it. My first six grade class, the few boys that are the comedians of the class and the ones with ADD constantly mentioned it. Look, I am flattered when people I don't know mention it and when the students mention it once...but its really really annoying and embarrassing when these kids constantly talk about it. Very frustrating.
The second class was ok. They didn't mention it as much and they were able to do someo of the lessons. All the 6th graders today were not doing the exercises from the book. All you have to do is listen. I know you guys understand this stuff. Otherwise, you wouldn't have this book. With 3+ of english, you know this. Its just a matter of overcoming your chinese mentallity and caring about it.
After class I rode home before kindergarten. On the way there, I passed a shop keeper. He called out my name and motioned me doing the dragon. I thanked him. That stuff is funny.
Kindergarten was ok. I figured out a way to get kids to stop touching and punching my butt and crotch. I finally lost it and said 1. If you touch me, you will stand in the corner, in the horse stance, while holding your hands out. 2. Your team will lose 5 points. many children got close until I warned them, but one tempted me. And I did it. No more did I receive punches to the groin or butt.
However, one student was apparently being naughty at the end of class. As the class ended, the chinese enforcers made like they were gonna leave him behind. He started bawling. I hate it when they do this. What I did was reasonable punishment for the crime. Causing a child to think that he is going to be abandoned and feel that terrible is disgusting. And i told taht to Doris who was subbing for Owen. Sickening.
I ate dinner while watching Ong-Bak. This new Thai movie featuring Tony Jaa...pretty cool. I then headed to Lion Dancing afterwards. On the way there, I passed two girls on a bike. They saw me ride past and the one sitting on the tire yelled out..."Hello, Phil!" I couldn't help but laff and then I waved back and said, "Hello!" Its weird having people say hello to you and calling you by name when you don't know who they are. I got to the Lion Dance arena and the students there were all wanting to talk to me and calling me Fei Long and this and that. Chatting to them in cantonese and mandarin. I tried to pay the head coach for the past two months but he would not accept it. He said, "Friends". Well, that is good I guess. I dont have to pay. It took him about 5 minutes until he got me to put the money away. Maybe that TV spot was worth more? Anywho, after that, he showed me the rest of Hong Quan. So I practiced that all nite. It was great. I then headed home. Good nite. Sleep well.

Posted by Phil at 09:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Foshan was a blast. Fotos have been posted. I will write more on the subject tomorrow. I am tired. Goodnite.
I was practicing my mandarin of Xiaolan Bus Station: "Xiaolan Qi-che zhan" to tell the motorbike taxi. On the way out the door i was continuing to practice it so I wouldn't screw it up when I spoke to the motorbike taxi. But, low and behold, I got to the driver and screwed it up. But then I said it again properly and he understood. Foshan was cool. I got to the bus station at 8am. Yumi was the next to arrive and then Coco arrived at 815am. John and Jolleen were late so I called him and he was like yeah, I will see what I can do. Take the next bus we will be there at the one afterwards. I said OK.
So, we got our tickets and Coco bought four. I was like, NO! John isn't coming. "Oh...whoops" she was able to return it. We could't get the next bus because there were only 2 seats left so we took the 900AM bus which was pretty vacant. It was an 1.5 hour ride.
While were waiting in the station and on the bus, we were looking over the Foshan map I had. I was thinking we would be able to hit many things. I even wanted to visit a university to see about getting a job there. I brought along my resume and some diploma copies.
We got to Foshan and I called John and they hadn't even left the bus station yet! What's going on over there, its 1030pm. He was like, well, I had trouble getting out of bed. And then Jolleen came over and was all like, "Oh, I need to do my hair and put on my make-up, do this and do that." Total girl b.s. He said they would hop on a bus soon and i told him to call me when they have spent an hour on the bus to give us a heads up of when they would arrive in 30 minutes.
So, Coco, Yumi and I hopped a cab to Zu Miao.
Zu Miao is a grouping of a bunch of old taoist temple buildings. They were built in 1037A.D. In addition there is an add on building that houses the Wong FeiHong museum. We met up with Coco's sister and nephew, Kevin who's 4 years old, outside the entrance gate in front of the fountain. Kevin looked really excited to see his aunt and me. very energetic. The sister headed over to get park tickets and I brought my vid-camera out to videotape the blind man playing a 3 stringed Erhu and tapping a cymbol with his foot. Coco and her sister were like, "Hurry up, Phil! there's a performance starting." What? "A lion dance troup." SWEET! I am totally there. We entered the park and i saw them doing some dancing across the way. Kevin was excited and wanted to run so I grabbed by his arm and we ran there. It was pretty funny.
We got to the performance area and it was kids no more than 13 years old practicing. The performance hadn't started yet. These kids were good though. We watched the show and I videotaped it all. And one of the lions that performed scaled the 20 foot tall poll to get some leaves. That was kool. Then he sat on a table. People would feed him donations and they would get this paper that says something like, "Good Luck and Good Health". Kevin went up and couldn't make his way thru the crowd so I picked him up and stood him on the table. Yumi then went up and gave some money too.
John called and said he and Jolleen had just showed up but they would head to lunch.
After the lion left a bunch of kids started showing off some of their gung fu skills. AWESOME!these kids rocked. Lucky little kids.
All of this was videotaped.
Next fter the show was over, we headed over to the Wong FeiHong museum. This was really kool. Finally got to learn about the true stories and, most likely, communist tainted history. There was a sign that said No Photographs, but I didnt see it. There was lots of kool stuff. There is a photograph there that is the only photo ever taken of him. There was a section of the place that was dedicated to all the movies about him. As of 1996 there were 100 movies, I mistyped what I said about over 200 movies...there are actually now over 100 movies. They had a listing o them all and some behind the scenes fotos. They also had short biographies of all the actors that have played him. We found out that at 3pm there would be a wushu/gong fu performance in the opened area. Kool beans. So, we would have to stay for that. I noticed it was getting late and we hadn't heard from John and Jolleen. It must have been a long lunch.
Coco's sister and Kevin had to take off, so I gave her my resume and some of the documents to give to her school and Coco told her to make copies and give to another friend. Sweet. Making contacts, yo.
So, we decided to head and get some food on the grounds. I looked at the time and it was alreday 1pm. Oh wow. I didn't realize. We headed to the temple areas cause thats where there is some food. We ate by the Wan Fu stage, the oldest performance stage in China, I think. Then we walked around the area and checkedout the wishing pool and headed into the Main Hall. That place was huge and it was really kool. Lots of amazing ash sculptures and it was very ornate. Very kool. Also,very dusty. I have video and pictures.
From there we meandered back to the Wong FeiHong museum. Then when we got there, I called JOhn and they said they would arrive in 10 minutes. So, we hung out and then headed back to meet them at the entrance.
Once we got them, I noticed something else that I missed before. SO I went exploring. Man was it gorgeous. It was the Confucian School grounds. They had this thing called the Wishing Tree. A tree covered in red wish ribbons and plastic tomatoes...go figure. Jolleen had told John about the tomatoes and he thought that people were throwing tomatoes into the tree to try and get them stuck there, hence making a wish. But no they werejust hanging plastic. Its possible they could have been mandarin oranges, but they looked like tomatoes. We walked around and took some fotos.
After that we headed to the museum again for the gung fu show. But it was 230 and they had another child lion dance performance. So, John and Jolleen hung out watching that as we finished our tour of the museum. At 3pm they rolled out the carpet on the freshly cleaned courtyard floor. Too bad the carpet was dirty and dusty as hell and sent dust everywhere. What a waste, you just ruined a cleaned floor. So chinese.
The wushu performance was ok. The kids were young about less than 20. I videotaped it. Then right after that there was a group of older people doing lion dancing. This was really good. It was much of the same as the kids, only much better.
After that show was over, we headed out. It was 430pm. We grabbed bus tickets for 5pm and headed back.
The bus heading back was a pain. I slept about 1 hour of the way home which was good, everyone on the bus was passed out it seemed like. I was sitting in the front. They need to fix the horn on that vehicle. Every time he honked at someone it was as loud inside the bus as it was outside. What use is that. We got back to Xiaolan and Coco went home. The four of us decided to go to dinner at the restuarant above the CRC shop...the resturant where my cell phone was stolen. Therefore it already had 1 strike against it.
We walked in and I saw on the TV the news story I was on. Giggle thats funny. Everyone eating were looking at me and talking. The man who poured the tea was giving me a big smile and thumbs up. Stop, I am blushing. It looks like the video was different than the one they played on Christmas Eve. Hmm, hopefullly I can get a copy.
Dinner wasnt really that good but the company was good. We paid and took off. On the way out we ran into May, one of the english teachers I work with and the teacher of the two horrible 6th grade classes.
We then seperated and went our seperate ways. I headed home and yet to sleep. I was tired. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 10:23 PM | Permalink

Hello all, I thought I would give you and update on the Lion and Dragon Dancing I have been doing. The Lion Dance training isn't going as well as I hoped. The head teacher still hasn't finished showing me Hong Quan and HE hasnt shown me anything of lion dancing. The only one who has shown me anything is a 15 year boy who lives at the studio. 1 of the 8 wunderkind. Truth be told, I haven't been able to make most practices the past month. I plan, however, to bust out all this month and go every night except for Fridays. So. As for me coming home to teach Lion Dancing to all of you, I don't think it will be possible. Maybe if I am lucky in the next 6-months. Who knows. However, being on TV was really cool. I am trying to get the footage.
I am heading to Foshan tomorrow. Wong Fei-Hong's hometown. For those of you who don't know who he is, I urge you to do some research. Lets just say he is a chinese folk hero and over 200 movies have been made about him. Most of the great martial arts movie actors have played him. If it still exists, I am gonna visit Po Chi Lam, his home and medical center. Coco, the head english teacher is taking me there, her sister lives there, and she said people refer to Po Chi Lam as one of the temples now. However, I doubt that. I think Coco just doesn't understand what I am trying to explain. Trying to save face. I will find out tomorrow.
Foshan is the center for Wushu in southern China. I am gonna see about getting a teaching position there so I can take up that for six months. Who knows it may be cool. Training in Wushu for 6 months can't hurt anything. Especially since the Lion Dance training isn't going as well as I hoped. I may be able to learn some there.
I am taking my resume and some documents to pass out there.
Well, time to go to bed. Later gators.

Posted by Phil at 11:44 PM | Permalink

Well, today I had to teach in Guzhen and the 3pm Kindergarten class. It was fine. No problems. I am really tired today and the sky is gray. However, after kindergarten I bought an adidas jumpsuit to keep me warm while at the gym. Its sweeet. Unfortunately its not the 80s red style used by rappers and breakdancers.
I then planned a trip to Foshan for tomorrow. Coco needs to call me and i haven't heard anything from her yet. Its 740pm. UGH! She want to take me there and I need to tell everyone when we leave. Hopefully we go tomorrow. I need to check it out before I decide where to go teach.
Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 07:35 PM | Permalink

So, today was pretty much spent just sleeping and junk. I did a couple job things online. Random things that aren't too impressive. I went out with one of the gang and we unintentionally met up with Rumi and Toby. We then visited a tea house with them. What a waste of time that was for me. I hate green tea. Even in China it tastes terrible.
Later on, John planned a dinner at Jiao-zi Guan (dumpling house by us) and we all met there. 8 of us. Then we went shopping looking for warmer clothes. I bought some wimping gloves. We then went to the DVD shop. I bought a couple kung fu flicks. Then headed home.
The first day of the Cock Year went well.

Posted by Phil at 07:28 PM | Permalink

http://charrey.net/gallery/v/phil/album31
I feel fantastic today! I woke up this morning, after the shower went from hot to cold while I was standing in it and I was completely awake, I felt great. There's nothing like waking up after spending ~24hours laid up in bed with food poisoning and then feeling great. I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself. I hope today is gonna be a good day. The gang has got to decide what we want to do tonite for the festivities. Most likely dinner and then off to a club.
I had my friday classes today. A bunch of 3rd and 4th graders. sweet. They are always fun to work with. Since it was butt cold today, at the beginning of each class I got the kids to jump around and get some blood flowing. This put them in a good mood and allow their minds to be molded better. All first 3 classes went well.
I then had lunch. I biked fast over to the Xiaolan office and got paid. So that is another positive of today. It looks like I will still have to work on Sunday though. Fudge. Then, I headed over to the gym. Finally got my butt to the gym in this cold weather. I made sure to warm up enough.
After that I head back to the house to finalize some plans with Antoine (the frenchy) and some of the gang. I then headed back to class.
The first class I had to go it alone because Anna needed to watch Coco's class. So, I had to take these buggers all by myself. It went well. I told them if they were bad I would open all the windows and turn on all the fans. They started to freak. Chinese people in the south can't handle the cold.
At one point I turned around and there was a girl crying. I ran over. "Who did it!?" All the kids surrounding her pointed to the boy behind her. So I took him up to the front and stood him there. Then I turned around right after that and other students were pointing across the room to another student, a boy this time, who was crying. So, I went over there, and all the kids pointed to the boy in front of him. So I sent him up to the front. Then after about 10 minutes. The same kids that pointed him out said , "No" as they pointed to him again and began pointing at the kid behind the child crying. "AIYA!" SPEAK ENGLISH!. So I sent the kid back to his seat. Sorry. Blame your classmates. When the kids don't have a chinese teacher, its hard to control them sometimes.
When class was over I took the other kid still standing down to the office. I had Lucy and Anna talk to him. Anna told him that if he continued to act like that, I will use my chinese gung fu and hit him. He then started to cry. I stood there with my jaw dropping. You said WHAT!?
Then the 2nd class was great. I imitated a-Chan (the PE teacher) when he yells attention. This got a good laugh from the kids and Anna.
Then I had kindergarten. It started out well. I came running into the class and played with the kids until everyone showed up. Doris (a new teacher) was subbing for Owen cause Owen had to do something else. I asked her to get me some scissors and tape. She brought back scissors and a cassette tape. I lauged on the inside. I tried to explain "tape" to her. She left and brought back 9 magnets. *SLAP ON THE FOREHEAD* (mine not hers). I didnt do it really. But I wanted to. It was hard today to control them.
The psychotic one (the small spaz that sounds like he has been smoking for 60 years - and looks like Pigpen from Peanuts - without the dust cloud) wouldn't stay quiet. He was running around and yelling. He and one of the girls were ruffhousing. Just for play, but he was the one starting it. After I cut short an annoying game of Duck Duck Goose, I had my back turned to the class because I was erasing points from the cretins causing trouble during the game. I turned around and the psychotic Pig-Pen was wimpering and then crying. Apparently Mickey punched him in the chest from across the table. (Mickey is one of the girls) I know he was doing something to her for her to punch him so in a way, he deserved it. But she shouldn't have hit him. Two "wrongs" don't make a "right". (but three do ;-) )
So anyway, as they were explaining it to Doris they began yelling at each other again, so I slammed my hand down on the desk and scolded them both. This caused Mickey to start bawling. Psycho Pig-Pen wasn't too happy either. I let the kids go run to the bathroom while Doris continued to talk with the both of them. I told Doris to tell them not to yell at each other and you don't hit people.
So when everyone was back (after 5 minutes, becuase a couple kids went off running down the hall) I didnt say anything. They sat in there seats and I just stared at them with my arms crossed. Everyone took the hint and sat in there chairs and were quite. We did that for 5 minutes about. A kid would start fooling around and I would stare and he would stop. Psycho Pig-Pen started to make goofy faces so I scolded him some more.
Mickey was still crying.
We then played some "Phil Says..." and this cheered everyone up. Mickey was better but mopey. Class was over. Thank God. My thumb was in a bit of pain on the joint from when I slammed my hand on the desk.
Then Daisy showed up and was chasing me around. So I played with her a bit. I threw her onto my shoulders so she was sitting on them. I went around taking the animal pictures off the walls. She would say what they were. She is smart.
I then bounced down the stairs with her on my shoulders and she was slapping my face and kicking my chest. It was hilarious. She was giggling alot. We got to her grandmother. Her grandmother told Doris that the day that I had to have class canceled because of food poisoning, Daisy came to the class with her mom to see me, and I wasnt there. Daisy began to cry...alot. She was so upset and she told her mom to find me. I heard that and I got choked up. Awwww. Peter told me 4 year olds get attached pretty easily. It sucks for when I leave, she is gonna be sad, but she will get over it.
As Peter and I were leaving, Doris told us of a Dance Party at the Tour Hotel at 630pm. Thanks for telling us that NOW! we already made plans. We will check it out after dinner. I then spent some time online talking to Doris trying to get a certain peice of information. IT TOOK FOREVER!
About 7pm, Peter went out to the CRC and 1+1 to get some Orange Juice and Vodka so he could make screw drivers. Apparently he didnt want to wait till we got to the resturant. Well, really, the reason he did it was becausee he didn't want to pay exorbanant amounts of money on alcohol. We were planning on going to a real nice resturant and he didn't want to have to pay. In China you can bring your own beverages into places. There are no problems with that apparently.
So, after most of us met at the Tour Hotel we headed over to the resturant. Antoine looked like a diplomat. He was wearing this white chinese fancy shirt with black pants and white gloves. All he needed was a cane and a top hat. On our way there Susannah was sure to tell us many times that the duck at this place was fantastic. Until we started teasing her about that, she prolly said it around 5x.
Dinner was fantastic. There was a large group so we placed to round tables together. Toby, much to my chagrin, sat next to me on my right in the crevice where the two tables connected and Peter sat on my left. Next to Peter was Robert, then Susannah, then Sean, then Emily, then Jolleen, then John, then the crevice again. Then there was one of Antoine's friends, then Ash, another girl, a boy, a girl, then Antoine, then his girlfriend, then another chinese girl.
Peter was pouring screwdrivers for everyone, I only had one because I don't like them that much and I am a lightweight so I needed to be careful. Everyone was enjoying it. Peter, throughout dinner drank a bit too much. I think he had 3 potent ones. He has always claimed to be able to drink hard and what not. He sure wasn't able to hold it tonite. Thats for sure. His plan was to stay out till 5am... HA HA HA HA! By the time the really good, but really spicy Hunan food arrived, Peter was noticeably much louder and tipsy. Oh boy. This will be an interesting night.
As for Toby, well, luckily Toby and I didn't get into any arguements at all tonite. Thank the Maker. However, alot of people wanted to smack him, especially Susannah (who is his mate), because his table manners were extremely rude. For one, during the apetizers, the chinese like to eat some peanuts with a bit of oil on them. Peanut oil...prolly. I don't know. So, all of us are using our chopsticks because that is the proper thing to do and it doesn't spread germs in the community plate. However, Toby competely brushed this aside, and instead of taking the bowl of peanuts and using chopsticks to push some onto his side plate (which would have been polite) he reached in with his grimmy hand and grabbed a bunch. Then he would giggle at his apparent lack of manners. "Its impossible to use chopsticks with peanuts." The worst though came as the awesome duck was passed around...This Duck was great! I totally agree with Susannah. He was reaching with his hands and plucking peices off. This is when I saw the look of horror on Susannah's face, along with others. He just kept doing it. Even after others were telling him to use chopsticks. And people say Americans are rude and arrogant in other cultures.
Also, as we sat and chatted together during dinner, I learned more about the history of Toby...in addition to the fact that he was a squatter back in London (someone who breaks into people's homes while they are away and lives there for a time) and that ever since he came to China, I have never seen him in a different set of clothes. He wears the same damn thing everyday! Talk about dirty and smelly. When he was at university he tried to join the Socialist Party Group (or whatever). However, they wouldn't allow him to join because his views weren't Marxist enuff, apparently they were to Stalinistic? or something. (Um...thats more communist than socialist I think.) However, he hung out with them. And he said it was with them that he learned how to shoplift. That helped put him through college. !!!!!!!!!!! He was talking about how for one Christmas he shoplifted all his presents for family and friends. When he told his family and friends, he was never asked to get another gift since....Wow..what a way to celebrate the birth of Christ, by shoplifting. Maybe this explains why Toby never got a present for Rumi. I will let you conclude what to think of this man.
During dinner, i was a little happy as well. The whole table seemed to be in joyous spirits. Everyone was having a good time and chatting alot. Peter, by the end of the eating portion was getting even more louder and saying things that he maybe wouldn't have otherwise. Nothing bad. However, the only one not seeming to be in a festive mood was Sean. Peter said something out of the blue, and I took where he was going with it and tried my best to kill it, and i said something like, "And I will end that right here." And Sean piped in out of the blue, "Yeah, please. Would you, its getting pretty tiring."
WHOOOAAAA there tiger! What's up with the out-of-the-blue hostility. It wasn't just me that noticed it, everyone saw it at the table, but I was the only one who took it personally because he said it directly at me like I was causing problems. A few moments later, John, gave him a quizical look and Sean, was, like, "I don't know, man, just some comments are being said that are blah blah blah..." (i missed out what he said on the "blah blah blah" part. The thing was that no one was talking about or saying anything that we don't usually talk about. No one was out of place at all. We were interacting with each other like we do all the time. Sean must be PMSing or something.
Fine, Sean. You gonna be spoilsport on New Year's Eve after coming out of hiding for 1 month (he was MIA for 1 month...never calling or getting ahold of us to do anything...Susannah claimed that he was taking care of her because she was sick, but still, he would have time to do stuff with his friends). If you are gonna be a baby, I will treat you like one. I was very offended. I hope Susannah gave him a talking later.
Yeah, that dinner was full of diplomacy. I think after that night I could be a member in politics. I know now after being in China how to not say what I mean, but be honest about it and not be rude or obviously upset.
So we got the bill taken care of and for the large group we had, it came to about 400RMB...which is quite good for the amount of people we had there. So, a bunch of us put in a couple hundreds and that excess money was then used to help buy drinks at the bar later on that night. Sweet. We had decided to go to Friends Bar in ShiQi for the New Year. Its a big X-Patriot bar in ShiQi run by Canadians, so there was gonna be a big party. John seems to hate that place, but I have never been. So I was excited.
So we headed to the Tour Hotel where we were to pick up Yumi and crash a chinese ballroom dance party that we were invited to earlier that evening, but didnt get tickets. Rumi couldn't make it because she was feeling ill, so that made Toby decide to go spend time with her. So Toby left. Apparently, on the way to the Tour Hotel, we lost Antoine and his friends. We called him up and said that his girlfriend didnt want to go to ShiQi. He was just gonna stay here. Ok. Have fun. Happy New Year!
We then headed up to the Ballroom Dance party. This was very interesting.
Peter was very intoxicated which led him to be very...how do you say it nicely, um...oblivous to the polite factor you would use towards Chinese people at a classy gathering. He strutted across the empty dance floor while some attendants were taping the floor so the boards don't shift while people dance (more on this later) carrying Orange Juice and Vodka in plastic bags and wearing (in-doors - very rude) his Porsche baseball cape sideways. I don't know...if Chinese people were of the common misconception (which they are) of international stereotypes, then Peter would have seemed...."American." I feel dirty saying that.
So onto the dance floor. The quality of construction just isn't the best. I mean, it looks like a gorgeous floor, but the panels of the wood that make it up are just laid down and not attached to anything. So, I am sure that when it is first built, it is a snug fit and things work great. But after much use, the boards begin to slide just a bit and this builds up over time and with more boards as well. I noticed this at the gym as well. While doing martial arts, the boards would slip. Hence, why they wer laying down super long strips of packing tape to hold the boards together. Why don't you just build it correct in the first place. Aiya.
As for the dancing, after we showed up and sat down, people started to get up to dance. I was able to video tape it. It was funny. And its true. When a song ends, the entire dance floor evacuates. It was amazing. No one stood around. So, after about 10 minutes of this, we were all like, "LETS GO!" So we got the gang together and took off. Peter was one of the first to get an elevator when we were stopped by a chinese organizer. He was begging Jolleen to get us to stay because they were having a performance. Cause, in actuallity, a bunch of white people showing up to a chinese televised dance party and then leaving 5 minutes later isn't very good to the viewer, the organizers and promoters would lose a lot of face. Lots of things are done just to save face in this country.
After about 3 minutes of trying to decide, John and I finally decided, yeah, lets be polite, and we had to get Peter off the elevator. He was shouting.. WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?!
-We have to be polite and help them save face. (said in a "well, if i have to" type of tone)
SCREW THAT! LETS GO DRINK! AAAAHHH!!
-No, we have to go in.
So, we got Peter in there. Now, I thought when they said performance, they would have a couple people do one dance. There fore, it was about 10pm, and we had enuff time to watch it. 1 hour would be enuff time to get to Shiqi, but we didnt want to push it, so if we left at 1030, we would get there between 1115 and 1130. Boy was I wrong about the time length of the performance. I videotaped it all but the last dance which I am glad I did, cause the last one just had the makings of wretchedness.
They had two couples. Somehow, Xiaolan got the Chinese champion of Latin Dance to put on a show. Go figure. I guess its not that hard. So, he and his partner came out and did some salsa and stuff. He was dressed in black and she was all whored up (like salsa dancers do). Her makeup job was one of the most freaky things i have seen anyone do. After they were done, I thought it was done. But no. There was another couple who were doing waltz and fancy dancing. The two couples kept taking turns and doing stuff. UGH! I mean the technique was good and all that, but they were doing these really good dances to horrible music that you should never dance to. I mean, the styles of dance didn't fit the music. And also, for some reason, seeing Chinese people do salsa and latin dances which are more "sexually" energized styled dances, to me, it just doesn't work. Its like they are missing something when they are dancing the thing. To me it seems they are lacking the spirit, but thats my issue with most dancers that I see competing and junk. They work so hardcore special moves which are kool and work on the stuff and set it in forms, but doing so, they lose the spontaneousness and they lose what dancing is for ... flat out having fun! The best dancers I have ever seen were goofying around and not being serious or trying to win a medal or put on a show.
So they kept on dancing. During one of the songs, the music was really loud and Peter was speaking at a level so that Amy could hear him and the music died right when he said, "AMY!" . John and I immediately looked at him and threw him a hint.
Looking at my watch. CRAP! 1030! We gots to jet! So, We grabbed all those that wanted to go between a break in songs and we booked out of there. Then of course, Peter left his drinks at the table. So we sent Owen in to get them. We did not want Peter going back in there and embarrassing himself and us. So during that time we Sean and Susannah said they weren't gonna go. "ShiQi is not gonna happen." We will make it happen. So we said our goodbyes, well, at least everyone else did. I didnt. Now, there was just 8 of us left to go. As we waited for Owen, I was like, "How did we lose Peter?! DAMNIT!" Ash goes, "Oh, he's green in the bathroom." What? Its 1030pm and he is already throwing up. Jeez! He came out. "Phil, you were right. I did have too much." Duh. Owen got back and we hoped the elevator down stairs. Got outside and THERE WERE NO TAXIS! There are always taxis here. All the time. But not now when we needed them. Its "Murphy's Law". So we stood around and Owen called the cab company and then Ash ran off to find one. So we were standing around for awhile. Peter started going up to random cars thinking he knew how to speak Mandarin and asking folks if they would drive us to ShiQi.
And when, after about 15 minutes, a cab showed up. He was getting in an arguement with the driver over the price of a cab. We wanted to get a 40 and most 50 RMB cab. But being New Year's Eve, that wouldn't happen. The guy wanted 70. And Peter was yelling really loud pissing off the driver and us. The guy came down to 60, but Peter didnt want that. Kept asking for 55. What is 5RMB when you need to get there. So another showed up and he would do 55 but the other guy, who was visibly irritated with us took some chinese folks and left. Jerk. Then we noticed Ash was still gone. Damnit. Peter called him up and told him to come back, we found one and another was soon behind. So, one of us made a decision and we threw me, Yumi, John, and Owen in our cab and headed out. It was 11pm by this. That left Peter, Jolleen, Emily, and Ash to find a cab. Why Jolleen didnt want to go with her boyfriend to the party and instead stay with Emily, is a whole chinese problem. So we headed out. And apparently the other guys got a cab about 5 minutes later.
That is strange because when we enter the innercity limits of Shiqi, we pulled up next to them at the stop light. Hmmm...strange. When I knew we were 4 minutes from FuHua Hotel (the bus stop - Friends Bar is right around the corner) I had John call Jolleen to find them. They said they were close as well. As we came up on a taxi at the red light. The back passanger door was opening. I said, "Oh, there's Peter vomiting out the back door." We all laughed. We were making good time, it was only 1135pm. Sweet. Somehow this other cab must have taken a shortcut and was speeding big time. We pulled up next to them and said stuff. We pulled up to the hotel and get to Friend's Bar.
When we walked in, I was never happier to hear U2 in a bar. The place was packed with white people, I was staring at white folks for a bit. But we found some of the ShiQi Bond staff we figured would be there. They were in a corner of the area. There were no open seats initially, but after about 10 minutes and 10 minutes before the ball drop, i spoted a recently vacated table that had room for 6 people in between a couple Bond tables. Peter sat at the table with Richard and pretty much veged out from being drunk and sick. We ordered a bucket and the 7 of us sat around the table. We were all coming and going though. We would get up and meet with other staff members. We were singing songs and we did the countdown. It was alot of fun.
There was no dance floor, so I just started dancing in between tables. Then somebody played "The Time Warp" and I was the only one doing it. John got some video of me doing it at the last part thankfully. I swear, it was hilarious!!! I laughed so hard. Richard stood there with his mouth a gapping. "YOU NEED TO BE ON THE TABLES!" Everyone around was cracking up. It was great.
After that I got into a semi-Cantonese conversation with some guys at the next table who constantly kept wanting to do cheers with us. Throughout the whole nite I was going around and toasting others and others would come around our way and do the same.
Someone passed around a donation bucket for the tsunami disaster. The bucket would be given to the HK Red Cross. I put in about 300RMB. Not much, but enough that I would have enuff to get home and for some fries. I finally had some real french fries. To bad they needed salt. Peter then called it quits at 1am. He headed back with Owen. The rest of us stayed to 230am.
Some random girl walked by John and gave him a kiss on the cheek while he was sitting down. Jolleen got so upset with John. We then went out to the get a taxi and piled everyone in and headed back. John kept telling Jolleen, "You know, when we started dating, you knew I was attractive, you brought your anger on yourself. " Of course he was just joking and he saying other things that were more hilarious and I was like, dude, you bring your fights on yourself. He was like no, these don't cause the fights , its the culture class and the girl issues.
So, I got home and crashed. It was a fantastic nite.
It will be on the next DVD. Happy New Year everyone!

Posted by Phil at 03:55 PM | Permalink

I spent most of the day laying in bed. Ugh. I hate food poisoning. I had to give my concert ticket to Peter so he could see the show. He gave his ticket to Amy so that she could go with Moses. He video taped it. So thats good.

Posted by Phil at 04:16 PM | Permalink

Today is a very sunny day, however, it is chilly. First period went well. I have pretty much gone thru all the lessons in the book, so Lily told me to go through the word lists in the back of the book for review. Great...this is gonna be terribly boring. It turned out that it wasn't that bad. Strange. My second class went well. I headed out for lunch at a place I have eat many times before. After eating I headed home. Throughout the next couple hours I felt kinda gassy and noticed something was wrong. By the time I got back to class I noticed even more that something...was awry. I had to head home inbetween classes to do God's work.
I must tell you that the 6th grade kids today were terrible and I yelled at them. I think some of my anger from the fact that I realized I had foodpoisoning was misdirected at them. But they are in 6th grade and their english, I know is far better than all the other classes but they would answer any of the simple questions or participate. I was getting livid.
So, by the time I got to the second class, I was noticing I was a bit woozy and there were times I needed to stop and get my bearings. In this class, they weren't as bad, but I was getting more and more frustrated. Kids were doing homework from other classes, they were writing notes and doing what not. Also, another reason why they were acting like this is the fact that May was not in the classroom. She was busy wasting time on the interenet in the teacher's office. About 10 minutes before the class was over, I had enough. I just left. And went down to the office and told May about what was happening. She grabbed some stuff and went up there. Maybe if you did your job, I wouldn't be doing this. Thanks for nothing. I then left school to meet up with Owen before Kindergarten to tell him that I got food poisoning.
So, I sat down and waited for him at the No. 3 Kindergarten. The little kids that were passing by were unable to cheer me up that much either. I hoped they would and I tried to be in a positive mood, but my body wouldn't allow it. I told Owen what had happened and he got worried. I asked if there was a way to cancel class. He said, "Sure". He then convinced me to go to the Hospital. I didn't want to go because I knew that they would prolly just give me some placebos. I have had this before once back home, the only way to get through it is to let it run its course. Plus, I was sure the hospital would overcharge on medication and the visit.
There is another reason I wanted to stay away from the hospital. I have heard bad things about them. They try to milk you for as much money as possible and misdiagnose things. For example, Susannah has had a kidney infection for almost a month now and they either haven't given her enough medicine or the right medicine. I am sure that this would be cured in at least a week back home. Another example, One of the older foreign teachers in ShiQi went to the doctor because he was having stomach pains. They diagnosed it as stomach cancer. So, on top of the physical pain, there are huge emotional pains that come when someone finds out they have cancer. So, he flew home to get surgery and undergo treatment in Canada. When he went to the doctors..."Oh, its just a stomach virus. Here are some meds." It cleared up 10 days later. Why he came back is beyond me. I woulda given China the middle finger at that point.
And its not just to white people this happens too. The chinese get ripped off too. My friend Ben's father in law has what most likely is emotional stress (to a number of reasons that only China can pull) and his heart is giving him trouble. He saw 3 doctors, 2 said he was fine, the 3rd has him in the hospital and running tons of tests and keeps changing the diagnosis. They want the money. And this is one of the #1 hospitals in Guangzhou.
On the way to the hospital, I stopped by a wall and threw up. There was a lot. Of course, immediately I felt better because I just kicked out alot of poison. But I still went. And by the time I left I was feeling a bit better but I could definitely see the pain coming back. We went to the Internal Medicine area where I was diagnosed and the doctor said the good news was that it wasn't food poisoning. Ok. So what was it. I ate some food and then 2 hours later I was sick. Sounds like food poisoning to me. She used Owen as the interpreter. She told Owen and Owen said, "Good news. Its not food poisoning. The Eusophagus and the stomach are not connected properly". Riiiiiight...I never heard of that condition. I don't know what is worse: Misconnection between the eusophogus (or whatever that tube is) and the stomach or food poisoning. I would think food poisoning is the lesser evil. So I believe still that it is food poisoning. But I couldn't help but laugh when Owen asked me, "How is your shit?" completely serious. I couldn't help but giggle. No, the medical/technical way would to say that would be, "How are your bowel movements." So, I instructed him of that later. "Shit" is a curse word not used during medical practice. This made Owen blush and giggle.
So, this is what they were gonna give me: An injection, and 3 sets of pills. I thought it was overkill. I never thought an injection would be used for this. So, we went to the receptionist who we pay. Only 33RMB. That is pretty reasonable. Not expensive at all. Has to be placebos. We then went to the pharmacy desk to pick up the meds. While I sat there waiting, there was this terrible music video of Chinese boys and girls trying to act like white people acting like black people. "Owen? What is this crap? Its gonna make me even sicker! Why are they playing it?" He laughed.
Then from there we headed over to the "Injection Room". We grabbed a nurse, and she knew a bit of english. But not alot, because it sounded like she knew just enuff to repeat constantly. So, I rolled up my sleeve and got my arm ready to take the shot. She looked at me, shook her head and said, "No no..." And pointed to my butt. "WHAT! You are gonna put a shot in my butt? I haven't had one of these since I was a kid." So, I tried to figure out how much of ass I needed to expose. I could tell she was liking this. So, I prepared and she stuck me. "OOOOW! That friggin hurts!" I could feel the needle penetrate and tear through my skin. OW! She pulled out and apologized. It hurt but it was like this sharp pain that lasted for about 5 seconds. It was wierd.
After that, Owen and I headed back to the Big House so I could pay him back the money he fronted since I didn't have 33 RMB. I took the pills. 4 every 4 hours, 2 every 4 hours, and 2 every 4 hours. Great.
So, I went to bed to rest and let the medication work on the poison. Of course, every 20 minutes or 30 minutes I needed to get up and do God's work. My tummy still aches and I haven't eaten anything for dinner. I don't want to throw it up again. I had a bunch of water and that just goes right thru my system.
Right now I just took the second dose. Hopefully this starts helping more. Then Lynn called. I am sitting at the computer cause I am not tired enuff to go back to bed. She wants to know if she needed to cancel my classes. I told Amy to tell her to cancel them and then if I feel better tomorrow morning, I will go to them. If not, they will be cancelled.
My next dose needs to be taken at about 2AM. I will let you know how I feel tomorrrow. Hopefully much better. Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 09:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Its about 11 degrees celsius, which isn't too cold compared to back home, but its a bit chilly. Also, when its hot for 10 months out of the year and you get used to that. When it drops this low, it feels cold.
Lets see what to talk about...
Oh, chinese retail shops.
So I asked Amy awhile ago why she doesnt get a job in Xiaolan to get more money for her and Moses. She just stays around and cooks for Moses. Watches TV and what not. Moses is teaching during the day, Moses is 65. Amy is 25. "Why don't you get a job around here?"
Apparently she said she didn't want to in Xiaolan because people here have wierd scheduals. They work all day long, but they don't do anything. They are stuck in the little shop with nothing but a TV. They look all zoned out.
So, what's better: Spend 12 hours in a little shop with a little TV standing around with nothing to do totally zombiefied because no Chinese people buy things and make some few RMB out of it? Or not get a job, not get paid, and cook for your fiance and be able to go wherever anytime you want... And then have bible study classes given to you by your fiance.
YOU TELL ME!
I applied to a bunch of jobs online. There were a few I was really interested in. Ones that I would really like. Hopefully the people recognize the skills that I have. Suckas.
Ooh, right before I headed to bed I got a reply to one of the jobs that I was really interested in. It was a place called Bebe Sport Education Center. They teach english but do it with music, gymnastics, and dance. They are located in Shanghai and Beijing and it seemed really interesting. So i pulled all the stops with the coverletter and resume. Highlighted all my dancing, music, and martial arts education and how I use some of it with my kids now. THey sent me a reply right before I went to bed that said, "Please let us know how soon you can move to Shanghai." SWEET! now, I just need to get more information on it. That would be super sweet. And the posting claimed that the pay was really good. I will keep you updated on that.
Also, Peter completed his first DVD. He was impressed with all the ones I made and thought it was a kool thing so the past month he has spent learning thru trial and error (since its the only way to learn DVD editing, because nothing is ever as easy as they claim) He finally made his firts DVD. He spent lots of time on it. It was a piano recital of one of his private lesson students. He was trying to edit out playing mistakes n such and re-syncing all the video which is an uber pain.

Posted by Phil at 04:01 PM | Permalink

Spent most of the day trying to get healthy again. Should be fine by tomorrow. I also updated my journal entries and posted a bunch of fotos. In addition to that I spent time looking for another job in China for when this contract runs out at the end of February. March is the start of the new term, so, its almost good timing. I am looking for places in Chengdu, Shanghai, Beijing, and Foshan. So far I have only found places in the first 3. I am also open to other places, depending on many factors.
I felt much better around 5pm. I went to dinner with some friends at Jiaotsi Guan (dumpling house). Really good dumplings. The service is terrible though. Very terrible. Most chinese customer service is lacking in many things. While I was eating I had a nice surprise. Daisy popped up behind me and she was giggling. Her, her mother, and grandmother had showed up for dinner. I offered for them to join us, but they declined. Daisy kept coming and going throughout our meal because theirs took so long to show up. She would show up, say something, then take off again. She began to start climbing on my chair and saying stuff too me. Apparently, seeing me made her excited. She was trying to feel my cheeks because of my scruff. She sang me a song as well. The flower song. It was in Chinese, but it was still cute. I made her say hello to the people I was with. Every few minutes her mom and grandma would call her over. It was funny.
I then went home and sent out my resume to some other places. Time for bed.

Posted by Phil at 09:39 AM | Permalink

I had sunday morning classes in Guzhen. Classes were great as usual. The kids were enjoying it and stuff. The recess was great because they were throwing this monkey around...a stuffed monkey that is. I started throwing it with them. We were playing 5000, that game were you call out a number and the person who catches it gets the points. Whoever gets to 5000 first wins. The monkey then got stuck in a tree. A kid got it out by shaking the tree...since the tree was small. But then the monkey got stuck in the big palm tree which took us about 5 minutes to retrieve it. All the kids were trying to throw a ball to hit it. I never saw so many kids get joy out of trying to knock a monkey out of a tree. Chinese kids are different than american kids. When was the last time you say American kids trying to knock a monkey out of a tree and having that much fun...outside of the Detroit Zoo I mean.
Suzannah was MIA today. Her, Sean, and Leiana never made it to the party, so I imagine she is still sick. She still has that kidney issue going on. So, Mountain asked Toby to take another class, he said sure. That meant when i was done I could either wait for an hour to get a taxi home with them or take a motor bike or bus. So, I decided by bus. But as I walked to the main street, there were no buses. So I sat for about 5 minutes waiting until a motorbike showed up. It was a long motorbike ride and riding thru this area and traffic filled my lungs with wretchedness. The one downside to motorbikes, you get the pollution of traffic more than when you are confined in a car.
The guy took me to the Big Bus Station, so I had to get another motorbike back home. I finally got home and helped clean up. I then had class agian at 3pm.
Violet attended this class as well. So there were Peter, Jack, Daisy, and Violet. The class went well. I made an obstacle course used to help them practice LEFT, RIGHT, FORWARD, BACKWARD with. I made them close their eyes and I would shout out commands. It was good. Violet was to afraid to do it though. It was a good class.
Afterward, I hit up KFC for the hell of it. It was crowded. There were a couple of my 6th grade students there who acknowledge my presence, but wouldn't talk to me or allow me to sit with them. Thats it, you guys are getting bad marks from me. I was sitting by myself again. There was this 5 year old boy staring at me with his "Dead to the World" Chinese eyes. He looked like a zombie. I want to eat your brain. Then an 8 year old girl, who was bigger than the 2 6th graders stopped by and talked to me for a few minutes. I was impressed. I then headed home where I felt the worst of the day. I took some medicine and hit the sack at 9pm after I uploaded a bunch of fotos. Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 04:43 PM | Permalink

http://charrey.net/gallery/v/phil/album30
So, Coco woke me up with a phone call saying, "We are meeting for lunch in 30 minutes. Oh...Merrry Christmas." Sweet. DIM SUM for Christmas breakfast at the Flower Hotel. Well, when I got there, it wasn't Dim Sum, they took me to the western resturant upstairs....BUT I WANT DIM SUM! Oh well. We had a wonderful lunch. They all saw the TV show from last nite and said they were very impressed and they enjoyed it. They said I was very funny. I asked what the whole thing was about and they told me it was to introduce the teacher, his family, and the school to everyone and give them some publicity. I was also there to provide face and make them all that much cooler. "Look, we are teaching a white guy. Thats how good we are." The chinese eat so much. Its amazin how small they are. I wanted to punch them all. If I ate like this, I would look like the real Santa Claus. So much food. I was stuffed and I only ate half of what they had. Such a shame. After dinner I came back and fell asleep in a food coma. I got up later to prepare for the Christmas party.
The party was good. Lots of people lots of fun lots of dancing. Daisy showed up with her mom so I had to entertain her for about an hour or so until she became relaxed around all the people and some of the other children showed up. I had bought these little hand puppets that squeek and spit out its long tongue when you squeeze them for the kids. I tried to tell Daisy when she showed up, "There is something under the tree for you." But she couldn't understand and her mom's translation didn't cause her to get excited to go explore. So, i took her over, showed her the hand puppet and nothing. Bummer. Then I went to look for osmething for someone, when I got back, Peter and started playing with her with the hand puppets. Daisy was into it, so I took over and she started having a good time.
I gave her a present I got her, some VCDs of Mickey Mouse. She was happy about it. By this time, other kids showed up, but the kids still haven't bonded yet. I had popped in Aqua Teen Hunger Forces' "Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future" episode into the DVD player for obvious reasons. There was no sound, but the kids were zombified by it. afterward I popped in Mickey Mouse, they loved it. After a couple episodes, they all warmed up to each other and proceeded to rock out the pool table with throwing balls onto the table and whipping them back and forth. Daisy would sneak up behind me an slap my butt. AIYA! so i would chase her. Violet (the girl from the Halloween party) warmed up to Daisy and they were having a blast.
Antwoine showed up. It is his birthday tomorrow so he was celebrating tonite. He was here for about 1.5 hours and then took off to meet some people. He was happy he was there. He said congrats, he saw me on TV this morning. He was getting a massage and he looked up and there I was on TV. He laughed and told the people he was with, "I know that guy!". He said it was good.
Other people were having a good time. Unfortunately, Clyde stood us up and never showed so we had no Santa Claus. I had the suit all ready for him. But to no avail. It was a good time. Lots of fun had by all and Tony was no where in site. SWEET! Coco showed up, she was the only one from my school to. They aren't very fun. My school teachers are mean, they don't like to support our parties. Anywho, Coco showed up and had fun. She brought me some gifts. Something from her and something from the head master. Some gung fu VCDs and a book of Chinese World Heritage sites. It was kool. Along with a tourist map of Foshan. I need to go now in January.
We opened up presents that were all under the tree. John had gotten a bunch of things for Jolleen, but he hid those in my room and put a used mop in place under the tree and labeled it: To Jolleen. It was really funny when she saw it. She got all angry. We had a good laugh at her expense. The gift was entitled, "Mom, you have raised an asshole." He giggled for awhile. However, that mop was able to clean up a huge punch spill from earlier. Its quality.
I gave out all the DVDs I made for the other teachers. Clyde wasn't there so I couldn't give him his gift. I received more than I expected. I got a remote control car from my Secret Santa, it was Mark Lee. That thing is fun. I haven't had one of these in years. I also got some Bei-Jiu bottles that were wrapped up in this decorative wrap with Chinese characters on it. Sweet. I took them out of the box, and at this point I didnt' know it was Bei-Jiu, then I asked Mountain, what does this say? "AAAH! [he grabbed the bottle and threw it on the ground] It's a bomb!!!" People in our vacinity, stopped and stared at him with a "Huh?", he sat there giggling. "Yes, its Bei-jiu." I have yet to find out who gave me the Bei-Jiu. There was nothing written on it. Amy and Moses got me a picture frame. Nice. I had also given Peter something nice for all his help in the past.
The party started to die down and all the chinese left. We sat around for a bit just chatting. Peter opened up Clyde's card that came with Mark Lee, and no woman was allowed to see it. It was too grotesque but hilarious. I laughed hard for a good 15 minutes. I then went to bed.

Posted by Phil at 04:42 PM | Permalink

Nothing bad. Don't worry. Whats funny about it was that I was wearing my Santa Claus outfit as I was riding the bike. I was coming up the back way in the alleys. I rode up an incline and then I had to pull a sharp turn and I was going to fast, I flipped the bike, while wearing a Santa Claus costume. And then a woman with a baby strapped to her back (but completely under a pink blanket) on a scooter drove by. She stopped. Looked at me, said something, smiled, and took off. Just that image of a flipped over bicycle and a guy in a Santa Claus outfit getting off the ground is pretty darn funny. Add to the fact that it was in China and a white guy in a Santa Suit is very rarely seen, you have great humour. Its prolly never gonna happen to another person as long as they live.
Then as I rode to class, I passed a kindergarten. All the children were outside, linning up, ready to go into class. They all saw me, eyes widened, jaws dropped, and they started jumping up and down and screaming. So I waved to them. They were going nuts and the teachers there had big ol' smiles on their faces. I was really surprised at the reaction from the kids. I wonder how this is how its gonna be throughout the day.
As I rode to school, I realized something. Being a white guy in China, people stare at you. But then, the place gets used to you. However, when that white guy throws on a Santa Claus outfit, those stares are 100 fold. I mean, people were looking at me like they usually do, but with more intent/hatred. It was very interesting how many eyes I felt on me. More than I have felt since I have been here. However, it didn't feel as irritating as usual since I had a reason for getting stared at.
I got to school and the reaction I got was totally not one I expected. The kids were going nuts. In between classes, kids were coming to the office just to see me in the outfit. When I would walk into a classroom, the kids would all jump out of their chairs and freak out. I came into school during Morning Exercises so none of the teachers really saw me. But some of the kids did. When execises finished all the teachers came back to the office where they all saw me. They got all excited as well. "You look so Beautiful!" Um...thanks? I guess. "So handsome." Apparently the chinese like red. As I walked the halls, kids would be staring out of the classrooms to look at me. Wow. I didnt expect to disrupt classes.
During a couple classes, I continued with my usual lessons. But I added some Christmas cheer with talking about Santa Claus for a few moments. I also got the 3rd and 4th graders to sing Christmas songs. I had them sing "Jingle Bells" and "Deck the Halls". And yes, it was like in "A Christmas Story", when the family is having dinner in the chinese resturant and the chinese waitstaff is trying to sing Deck the Halls..."Deck the harls with barls of Holry...Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra!" To say the least, the kids liked my outfit. I think the headmasters were pleased with me as well. They seemed unusually warm.
During lunch time, as I was preparing to go out, the kids were all hanging around where my bike was kept and they were all looking at me and trying to steal my hat. It was like a big crowd. I couldn't move.
I went to McDonald's. There were a couple kids in there that got excited. Almost as much as the people that worked at McDonald's. They were playing some really interesting music. It was a medley of a bunch of church songs. But it was really creepy because it was done with chinese lack of emotion and it was playing in McDonald's. If you think white people ruin black music, you would be horrified to hear what chinese people do to black and white music. Its absolutely horrendous. The songs that I heard were "Swing Low Sweet Chariot, Oh When the Saints Go Marching In, etc". It was weird. After that I rode home to finish some wrapping of gifts.
Things hadn't really changed when I got back to school. Sammy had bought me 2 bottles of wine and placed them on my chair. How sweet of her. The really amazing thing happened though when I went to the 1st and 2nd grader part of the school. There are two buildings, one is for 1-3rd grade and the bigger one I am at all the time is for 3rd-6th graders. As I walked to the other building and got closer, All the 1st and 2nd graders started to pile up at the doors and stare at me and wave wildly. I waved back. I climbed the stairs and got to my 3rd grade class and all the kids were surprised to see me. I did the lesson and taught some Christmas songs. They enjoyed themselves.
As I left the building heading to my bike so I could go prepare for Kindergarten, all the 2nd graders were having recess and they started to come up to me and say hello. They kept coming up and multiplying it seemed like. I turned around and was awe-struck. There were 60-70 kids following me. It was like they grew exponentially...like when people turn into zombies, it just blows up. It spreads so quickly. I was amazed. I looked at a couple other chinese teachers they were laughing and pointing at all the kids. So, I decided to have some fun with them, I started to run, and all 70 kids started to run. I would stop and then run into the crowd and they would all do as well and then I would run out of the crowd carrying a kid or two. Then I would drop them and do it again. They were going crazy, jumping around and having fun. Its hard to describe the feeling you get from seeing that. I then finally made it to my bike by that time and it was worse then before, there was no room for me to leave. The kids wouldn't allow it. They were all just standing around and looking. Until Coco came to the rescue. She wanted to let me know that the English department would go out for lunch tomorrow afternoon and she wanted to know what I wanted as a gift and I said, you dont have to get me anything and she refused to hear that. So, I told her gung fu. You know what I like. :D So she smiled and said, mmmmYes. A book. thats what we will get.
Um...Coco, you aren't supposed to tell me. :D
I finally got out of the kids after Coco told some of them to back off. As I rode the bike out, some of the kids were chasing after me just like they did during lunch. It was a gas.
Kindergarten was really fun too. However, i noticed during the day that I was coming down with a slight cold. The weather was fairly warm the past 2 weeks then all of a sudden it got cold again. And of course I wasn't prepared for it. I wasn't in the mood to yell at the kindergarten kids and they were wild as usual. The 10 Kid Spaz Class loved my outfit. A couple kids fell on the ground laughing when I showed up. I wanted to kick them.
The children all at the school were watching me come in and go to class and leave and they were all happy to see me. Daisy stopped by at the end of my my class with her stuff reindeer that played music. She was all smiles. She told me, "Merry Christmas". Awwwww....so cute.
I then went with Owen to the Bond office where we were to wait for everyone to show at 6pm so we could go to the ShiQi office for a Christmas party. I walked into the office and John just laughed pretty hard when he saw me in the Santa outfit. Most of us were there at 6pm however, we didn't leave until 630pm because someone, being chinese, didn't count the number of poeple attending the party and prepare enuff transporation for all of us. There were 9 foreigners and 4 chinese people. After awhile, one of the chinese finally made a decision and sent us 9 foreigners in the van which holds 8 people, so it was a bit cramped. And of course, there was a traffic jam on the way there. So we finally arrived at 720pm. The party started at 6pm. so there was barely any food left. The chinese are so inefficient. Headquarters was packed with kids. They had people MC-ing which I took part in around 8pm. Lots of kids doing Karaoke. Very funny. There was this huge 5 foot tall cake that was going to be cut for later. I mean, there were lots of kids. Rumi got some fotos of me MC-ing that I will post.
At 738pm I was able to commandier a TV in the reception area. I made Alice find the Zhongshan TV Stations so I could watch the news show about he Lion/Dragon Dance troop that I was going ot be on. Sweet. So, it came on and bascially the news story was introducing the head coach and his family. It talked about how many awards they have won. And it seems that they are one of the better troops in the area. Then I got on TV after about 15 minutes. Wow, they cut out alot. I mean, my time was about 5 minutes, maybe a bit less, but they only left in one thing I said from all the questions and it was what I said about the USA being the fattest country in the world. Ugh. The power of editing. They didnt give me a chinese dub, they just had subtitles. They showed me doing a very short bit of form work with the teacher and some kicks and then showed me learning the Dragon Head and doing that.
I hope those people give me a copy. I would love to have it.
So, then, geeked out about it, I headed back to get some beverage, but I got sidetracked and MC-ed for about 15 minutes. Luckily about 99.9% of the people there didn't understand me when I was singing in my metal voice that "White people rule! We be teaching english to you! AIYA!" It was goofy. Apparently John was cracking up over that.
After that I was just hanging out. There was this little baldheaded boy, 5 years old, that was super cute and his english was quite good. He was following me around alot so I chatted with him. Some of the MC's downstairs were passing out candy from bags. So i motioned for one of them to throw me a bag, I was a floor up. He threw the bag to me so I could chuck candy down onto the kids and that little 5 year old helped me. Then after the cake was cut and the kids left at 9pm, all of the Bond staff posed for a picture. I had center front row because of the santa outfit. And of course, Julius jumped on my lap for the pose. This boy is John Zhang's kid. He is great, but he can get annoying when he hits alot. So, the picture looked great apparently. Too bad I don't have a copy yet.
Then all the Xiaolan folk decided to head back. So all 9 foreigners crammed back into the van. Then the Chinese crammed into it as well. Why didn't we do this coming down here? We would have saved 30 minutes. ugh. The trip back was funny because Toby decided to argue in his condescending way to Peter and John about how bad Bond is. Peter just was not putting with his crap and at one point blew his noisemaker for a span of about 10 seconds to get Toby to shut up. IT WAS HILARIOUS! Apparently Toby doesn't think Bond does anything wrong. He obviously doesn't believe in Professionalism, Being True to your Word, or Caring about your Employees. When John and Peter were trying to explain stuff, Toby kept interupting. Peter said, "I get angry with assholes like you who don't listen or pay attention." And then John tried saying something and kept getting interrupted and he said, "That's it, I'm done. Stop now." Then Toby started singing some terrible British song. He can't sing, but he loves to.
We finally got back to Xiaolan. Most everyone came over to the Big House. The chinese folk decided to go get some food. Which meant that Jolleen went with them. John was pissed because she wasn't gonna spend Christmas Eve with her boyfriend. And of course, Jolleen is clueless. So, we called up Antwoine and met up with him at this club.
This club was funny. I got a picture of it. First think I see when I walk in is a giant Winnie The Pooh stuffed animal on a stage with scantilly clad chinese girls dancing to terrible chinese music. I lauged super hard. Got a couple fotos. Very funny. We hung out there for a bit.
Then about 15 minutes before Christmas Day, one of the chinese fellas we met at the bar took us to another place at the Tour hotel in his SUV. It was my first experience driving with a chinese in his car outside of BOND. It was freaky. We got to the Tour hotel ok. We were taken up to this Karaoke pub area. There was like only 20 people there and the room was huge. There were some chinese people making horrible noises on the mic. It was wretched. I was also getting mad because all the chinese would introduce themselves to us, men and women, but would not even acknowledge the fact that Yumi was there with us. I wanted to smack them for being rude.
I was super tired so I left early. It was a long day and I wasn't feeling 100%. I went home and dreamt of sugar plums.

Posted by Phil at 08:22 AM | Permalink

1. My VISA re-imbursement was pumped from 900RMB to 2000 RMB. A little more than 2x. Its not alot but its better than nothing. sweet.

2. I got word that the news story about the Lion/Dragon Dance Troupe will air Friday nite at 738pm on Zhongshan TV. SWEET! I can't wait!

Posted by Phil at 12:36 PM | Permalink

School today was a pain. My primary school classes, 5th and 6th graders, were just getting on my nerves. I know they know and can understand this material, they just chose not to participate. I don't know how to make it easier to understand. And I can't do it for them. I wanted to send them all to the principal.
It was 10 Kid Spaz Class at Kindergarten again today.
After Kindergarten, John Zhang, the guy that lied to get me to come to BOND in Zhongshan is back from school in Vancouver for the holidaze, too take the Xiaolan staff to dinner. So, we went to this really good resturant, expensive apparenlty, it was part government funded. John gave us Tea sets as christmas presents. This will be good, i will send it home. He also brought up a package from my folks, CHRISTMAS STOLLEN!!!! YEAH! sooooo good.
I emailed John that morning about increasing my VISA re-imbursement and he didnt get to reply to me. I dont think he got it before dinner. He better give it to me.
Julius was at the dinner, John's son, and he was his normal self. Cute, but he likes to ruffhouse alot. I played with him a bit. Afterwards I headed home and prepared for class tomorrow. I can't wait to have stollen for breakfast!

Posted by Phil at 02:55 PM | Permalink

So today was the day the government came to stay...at our school. First off, I get to school waiting for my class to start. The bell never rings. I ask Anna, why hasn't the bell rung and why are there no morning exercises today? "Oh, they switched. Right now is the first class and they will do morning exercises second. Because the government is here. Did you have the first lesson? Oh, you did? Oh...well, yeah. So, you don't have first lesson."
Nice. Thanks for the heads up on that one. I could have slept in or done a bunch of other stuff. Instead, I am sitting here at the school wasting time. Ugh. Class sucked. The kids just wouldn't pay attention.
Went home for lunch and wrapped some stuff and put some ornaments up.
Class in the afternoon was no better than in the morning.
Kindergarten was canceled so that was good. I headed home and took care of some stuff.
I then headed out to Lion Dance practice. I got there, and figured out that practice tonite was canceled. Great. So I had to ride the bike all the way home. Not a big deal. I got back to the house and put the finishing touches on the tree. John and Jolleen showed up because they were in the area. Apparently Jolleen is stressed out about going to Guzhen to be the boss and she is taking it out on John. Oh well.
I am going to bed.

Posted by Phil at 09:05 AM | Permalink

Today was a good day. I got alot of christmas stuff done. I was working on the christmas tree. I put up a bunch of decorations. Getting some Christmas presents. We are doing Secret Santa with all the foreign teachers and the internet random number generator generated Clyde as my gift recipient. What would Clyde like? Well, since he has been living clean for years...opium is out of the question. The best thing I can think of is a gag gift followed up by a serious gift. I got the gag gift. I am also giving my Christmas DVD Present to all the foreign teachers that were here when it was made. As well, Daisy, the 4 year old genious is attending the party with her mom and prolly grandparents, so I picked her up a VCD set of Mickey Mouse. I asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she said, "Mickey Mouse" in this adorable shy way. Wrapped up some other presents and got these awesome Christmas cards. They are from Counter Strike, an online military strategy game that is huge in Eurpoe and Asia. Anyways, the cards have these cute disturbing cartoon images of guys in gas-masks and Rambo outfits throwing grenades and carrying rifles while they say, "Happy Holidays", "Best Wishes", and "Happy Day" on them. Wierd.
I tested out the "Snow in a can" that we bought to cover the tree in when it is complete. We want this tree to be the cheesiest looking thing ever. However, I think we will fail because some of the trees I have seen in the shops here...well, I don't know how we could beat those. Alot of the "upscale wannabe Western" chinese shops are putting out the Christmas decorations and wearing santa hats but the real chinese places aren't. My favourite Santa hat is the one with 5 red stars on the white furry part that light up sequentially. I never thought Santa to be a communist before I got here. But I guess its not a far cry, I mean, he does like red alot, and he is a patriarchial leader who exploits his workers (the elves) to do all his work for him and he just uses one night a year where he does this big publicity stunt. His face is plastered all over the place and he no longer has any association with religion. Hence, the "Save Christmas" movement I have heard about in America from John Irish. Take Christmas back from the heathens I hear. I will prolly have a Christmas lesson on Friday, Christmas Eve, and I am trying to decide how I will explain it to 4th and 3rd graders. Since there are three things you don't talk about in China: Religion, Sex, and the Government...I wonder how I explain Christmas. I have thought to just say that its a time to give and to love one another. However, I feel I would be doing it an injustice by not explaining where it came from...the birth of Jesus mixed with the pagan holiday of winter solstice or whatever.
Speaking of Jesus, there was this TV program on the english channel...well, its not the english channel, but it plays english programs in the evening. Anywho, there was this program entitled, "Pontius Pilate: The Man Who Killed Jesus". It was basically comparing historical fact to the writings of the Gospels and to the writings of Jewish historian Josephus. It was quite interesting. The show claims the Gospels shows Pilate as a weak leader - i don't think that is neccessarily very accurate - i think he is just shown as man torn between either condemning an innocent man or mob justice. But definitely historical fact and the writings of Josephus show him as a strong, cunning, Roman prefect. Very interesting. Maybe the Bible shouldn't be taken literally and it was written with a very tilted bias. Makes you question things. Which is good. "The truth shall set you free."
Enuff of that. Oh, Peter bought The Incredibles, that computer animated cartoon that recently came out. Very awesome. I watched it while wrapping presents n stuff. What else happened today...Oh, I got the most adorable e-card. Daisy, the little genious, and her mom sent me this e-card thanking me for inviting them to our Christmas party. Its so cute. That put me in a great mood for the rest of the nite. Oh well. I should prolly head off to bed. The government is coming to watch all the teachers tomorrow. I wont be viewed, but the others are all freaking out about it. Toodles.

Posted by Phil at 08:31 AM | Permalink

Taught today in Guzhen. It was good. Got the kids to play this game to help practice body parts. Introduced some new ones. Did pretty much the same lesson with Daisy and the two other students. I did get into an arguement with Toby over the dead chinese guy in the street. I mentioned something how i find it coldhearted how everyone ignored that fact. So Toby said, give him some money. That's compassionate. Sure, its compassionate, but it doesn't help at all because all it does is encourage him to beg and not get a job or anything. Its China...they have jobs. So Toby went off and called me a hypocrit. So we argued about this for awhile until class started. That guys has serious issues.
On the way home he told me that he realized yesterday why Tony is banned from the party. He was at the Xiaolan Bond office when Tony came in and was harrassing Salena. Apparently Toby got the hint of why no one likes Tony. And there is no way to fix him.
He then went on to complain about Christmas and how its a crock. John told me that he started bad mouthing Christians the other nite saying out of all the world religions, they are always the first to go against what they claim to believe. Shut your hole. Worshippers of all faiths have all done that. Christians weren't the first and nor will they be the last or the only ones doing it. Shut it, Toby. Shut it. John, Suzanna, and I think the reason he may be so arguementative is because of the culture shock. I know I was very irritable the first month or so I was here. Its possilbe thats the cause. But still, why does he get on the wrong side of the arguement. I accidently brought up "racism in America today" the other day and how I think its more media/minority manufactured than actual racsim. He started to get all upity, so I offered that we refrain from fighting about it till another time instead of ruining the night. Which I am sure he would have. ;-)
I bought a pretty kicking suit today. I got it for $36US. I was walking thru this market thats been going on for the past 12 days. They got lots of junk and useful things at decent prices. I found this suit. The reason I got it was because I have been looking for this type of suit for awhile, but can never find it. I saw it and the guy got me talking. He wanted twice that amount so I offered 1/3 of the price. He got at the final one and wouldn't come down. So, what the hell. Its pretty nice actually. I can see me getting use out of it.
Peter and I worked on his chinese scooter/sled. The chain keeps popping off the tire. We put it up on some blocks...really, just a stool...to check out the underside. The gear that the chain is on is bent and thats why it keeps popping off. Peter tried to bend it back, but it was the teeth that were bent so he ended up bending the plate more in the opposite direction. After about 15 minutes of us working on it, we were able to bend it in enough a way that wouldn't allow for it to pop off. That we know of yet. And we tightened the brake. The brake has been little or no help lately. It will work now though. for a bit.

Posted by Phil at 05:39 PM | Permalink

I am an american living in China, speaking guangdongwha to the taxi driver while wearing a japanese T-shirt and listening to german industrial music.
awesome.

Posted by Phil at 11:33 PM | Permalink

Well, today I went to Guangzhou - pronounced GWAN (like SWAN) + JOE. It was interesting to say the least. We walked alot. John and I met up at 820AM at the bus stop to catch the bus. John was actually two minutes late and we missed the 820AM bus, so we bought a ticket for the 850AM bus. We ran over to McDonald's and he got a to go breakfast. I was like, just grab some bau-tze off the street, at least that stuff is real food. So, while we were there, I bought an apple pie. The only thing I like at McDonalds. While I was waiting in line, there was this family that came in, and the two kids were all excited to be there. Since McDonalds snags you when you are young. The two kids were staring at me, so I smiled back to them. Then the younger one, prolly about 3 years old, stuck his tongue out at me and then they ran to the playscape. I started to crap up. I then gave him back a rasberry and the kids started doing it back and giggling. He then just kept doing it then the older sister started. It rocked. From there we headed back to the bus.
The bus took about 1.5-2 hours to get to the stop that we wanted. While we were waiting to meet up with Ben, John's friend who he met during his travels, we needed to use the toilet. So we went searching and came upon the coolest automated toilets I have ever been in. It cost 1RMB coin. You put it in the slot and the door slides open like in Star Trek. Only slower and without the "shh".
On the way back to the meeting place, we noticed a scuffle. Two chinese guys were throwing fists at each other. I wanted to yell out, "CHINESE FIGHT!" like the kids in South Park yelled out, "CRIPPLE FIGHT!" when Timmy and the new handicapped kid got into a fight. The two guys were shouting at each other in Guangdongwha. They weren't just talking normally loud like all cantonese people do, but they were yelliing. It lasted only a few seconds. Apparently they were fighting over cigarrettes. Seemed very childish. See what addiction causes?
We arrived at the meeting place and then Ben popped up outta the subway. "Sup, dawg!" He then pointed out to us the place where he saw his first dead man in China. Apparently a guy by the subway entrance in front of the Train Station (where we were), died of malnutrition/starvation from the apparent look of his body. This is how it went: Ben walked by the area around 2pm. He noticed a man lying in a peculiar position on the ground and a few people standing over him, he thought nothing of it because he sees it all the time - bums sleep on the street in the afternoon. He then came back by to that area around 6pm on his way home and the man was still lying there in the same position. He realized that the guy was dead. So he took a picture. Someone finally called the authorities, I dunno if it was Ben, he never mentioned an end to it.
You think someone would notice something like that here. A man dead on the street, but nope. Its the chinese mentallity. Only caring for yourself. Kings of the world, thats what each chinese believes they are. At least show some compasion and respect for the dead, don't let his body rot on the street. Let someone know. I wonder if Toby is gonna argue with me on this subject. Check my journal entry tomorrow to see if he did.
Ben is from northwest California he said. He lives about 1 hour from Reno, Nevada. He just got married on wednesday to his chinese girlfriend of 3 years. They will have a ceremony in the summer, but wanted to get the VISA work taken care of now. He told us of a couple funny stories from when he was in the Consulate registering for marriage - VISA stuff.
First was this wirery looking weasel of a man he said that was born in Vietnam, but was American, but very greasy and icky. Apparently this guy was trying to apply for a marriage liscenes or something for his fiance. The attendant was drilling him. "How long have you known her?" -One year. "How did you meet?" -Over the internet. "When did you finally meet her?" -Three weeks ago. "What??" -3 weeks ago. "You do know its illegal to marry someone just to get them an American VISA?" -Uh...uh..(hesitation) yeah. I do. "How can you be sure she isn't playing you?" (i am not sure on that last sentence. The whole point was that the attendant knew this guy was a scuzz and really wasn't in love or anything or that he was being played.)
Another guy showed up. 250-300 pounds. Bald. 60 years old. "Yeah. I am here because I want to marry my girlfriend. I met her in Guangdong. (think of how an old guy would pronounce it if he had never been to China or spent time with the language with a heavy nasal accented "a") His girlfriend is about 25 years old, gorgeous, and they only met a few weeks prior. He got grilled.
Ben goes up to the attendant. "How did you meet?" -Christmas party. "How long have you been dating?" -3 years. "Good, here you go." What a relief. Obviously, these attendants know how to spot the creeps and the people that are serious.
While he was explaining the stories, we took the subway to the marketplace area to check out all the stuff they got. Apparently its a pretty famous area. They got a section of it for animals being sold for pets, then on another block they have all the same animals but being sold for food. The ones being sold as pets were in much nicer setups than the ones for food. There were some adorable dogs, cats, turtles, salamanders, newts, redbellies, fish, snakes, rabbits, etc. etc. Tons of things. It was really kool. I got pestered to buy a chinese bible. I think thats what it was. Anywho. We walked around a bit.
Took the subway to meet up with Ben's wife, Shao-Hong...or Xiao-Hung...i dunno which.
We then walked around the most famous park in that city. It was nice. Walked up and down many stairs. There was a Musuem that we didnt visit. There was a Sun Yat Sen monument. Some scenic view of a stadium field underconstruction and some other nice shots. THere is a famous 5 Goat statue at the top part of the park. We checked that out.
We headed out to lunch in the marketplace after walking thru another market alley way. Very dirty. Guangzhou is a very dirty city. After lunch and discussion of intestinal malfunctions caused by viruses and diseases, we headed out to scale the biggest mountain in Guangzhou. It was nice. There was a bungie jumping set up there. I didnt do it, but I was tempted. No one has ever been hurt doing it there. Ben did it last time he was there and said it was really good. I just wish people that did bungie jumping would just put a giant air mattress beneath it. From there we headed to the top. On the way there were these steps that had pointy rocks sticking out in designs. You are supposed to walk on them without your shoes. At first it doesnt really hurt but after you are on them for about 30 seconds, it starts to hurt and its painful. Supposedly, its to massage the feet.
We got to the top and chatted. By this time it was nearing 530pm, so we walked back down. We eventually snagged a taxi cab and I got a bus ticket back to Xiaolan at 7pm. John is spending the nite there, I would, but I gots to teach tomorrow morning. I got my afternoon class with Daisy, I can't wait. That little girl is a genious. Well, goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 09:59 PM | Permalink

So far, my first three classes were great this morning. Coco is at her hometown because her mother-in-law fell ill. She has been out pretty much all week. I haven't seen her. I taught her classes on my own today. Usually when I teach on my own with no Chinese Regulators, the kids are almost unmanageable. However, today, I was able to keep their attention wtih the crummy material I was teaching. They were rowdy, but I was able to put to good use. That was good. I also had one 3rd grade class this morning along with Coco's two 4th grade classes. This class also went really well. A couple of the kids wanted to sing a song from the book. Apparently they liked it. They all got into it. It was very surprising and it was very awesome to be standing there and they all start busting out in song and enjoying it. They were loud and I am sure you could here it over a distance. I really enjoyed it.
Its lyrics were really simple... How old are you, Tony? (repeat 3x) I'm 9. 9,9,9,9,9,9,9, I'm 9.
Thats it, but it was the music and how they sang it. They really enjoyed it. I couldn't help but smile and Lucy, the teacher, was enjoying it as well. At least they were doing something they enjoyed and they were learning at the same time. Fun stuff. 3rd grade energy is the best.
Also, in my third class of the morning, which are 4th graders, the kids started telling me, "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!" I lauged a bit for a second. I guess Coco taught them to say this to me. I was like, no, next week, but they didn't understand. A bunch of kids gave me greeting cards. They are adorable. It was really awesome. I was laughing. For next Friday, which is Christmas Eve, I am gonna dress up as Santa Claus, i bought the suit in Hong Kong for Clyde, but he won't get to wear it until Saturday anywho. I am gonna pass out some candy. Its gonna be alot of candy for...lets see...
260 students. Damn.
During lunch I spent some time trying to do some christmas presents for folks around here. Just a couple. We are doing secret santa. I got Clyde, so I have to get something funny for him.
Teaching in the afternoon was really good too. My two 3rd grade classes were really enjoyable. The students were learning and having fun. I decided to try that song out with them as well. They loved it to. Man, I sang that song so much today, its stuck in my head.
Oh, I had an interesting punishment for one of the kids today. There was this kid in my 4th grade who was acting up. He was goofing around and got his friend to tie his wrists together with his red-commie scarf. So I brought him to the front of the class and tied his wrists up to the doorknob at the front of the room.

Posted by Phil at 12:59 PM | Permalink

Finally finished with all my required DVD projects. I sent out the last wedding DVD set this afternoon. Hopefully Jamie and Janna like it. Other than that, I just had class. Nothing really special happened today.

Posted by Phil at 07:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Shut your hole.
I swear, that guy does not know what arguements to take part in. He started to argue with Peter and I about the fact that Tony was banned from the Christmas party. Oh, yeah, how long have you been here? A month? You don't know Tony the way we do. I wish I had a recording of how he talks and what he decides to argue about so you could imagine just how frustrating it is to discuss things with him. We were trying to explain to him that Tony sexually harrassed a few women at the party and offended others, among them Peter and I, since he was upsetting our guests. Then Clyde chipped in and told him that at one party they had, Tony was smoking inside the house and Clyde told him to go out onto the porch because its unhealthy for the little kids that were in attendance, then Tony took a puff on the cancer stick and blew smoke into Clyde's face and then into a little girl's face. Clyde threw him out onto to the street.
Toby then scoffed and said, "Oh, well, I kinda find that hard to believe." SMACK! Shut up, Toby!

I walked into the Xiaolan Office to get paid. Owen said, "Hi" and asked me how I was. I responded. I say Lynn sitting there and I asked Owen, "Hey Owen, why did you call Peter yesterday and ask where I was? How come you didn't know that I was in Hong Kong?" This got a rise out of Lynn and thats exactly what I wanted. She failed in her job again to let Owen know that my classes were canceled on tuesday. There are really only 5 people in this office and that important piece of information never was given to anyone. I heard Lynn saying stuff in chinese under her breath.
I went to Salina and was getting my money, Owen asked me, "How was Hong Kong?"
I responded, "It was a pain in my ass." And then Toby said, "Well, who's fault is that?"
What the hell Toby. Don't start with me. So, I pointed at Lynn. He got all on the offensive and said, "Well, who needs the VISA?"
And I responded, "Hmm..well, I could have taken care of my VISA issue a few weeks ago and saved the trouble of Hong Kong if someone had done their job and given me the VISA info when they were supposed to." This shut Toby up for a bit. It also got another rise out of Lynn.
Then the rest of the gang showed up to get paid. Thats where we had to explain to Toby why Tony wasn't allowed at the party.
The rest of the day was fine. The 6th graders were problems as usual.
I went to Lion Dance practice. I spoke to a bunch of the kids in cantonese. I think its getting better. There was this one kid who was asking me to teach him Taiji. I am like, wait a second. You are chinese. I am a gweilo. You want ME to teach you taiji? Are you nuts?
The head coach showed up and he showed me some new stuff to work on. It was good. And he showed me some things that needed fine tuning. It was good.
When I first showed up at practice though, I was one of the only ones there. There were about 3 two other as the door. I noticed the double doors that are usually closed in the corner were open and the light was on. So, I decided to check it out, I walk by and there were about 5 of the members of the troop that wear the lion pants all the time. They were sitting on their bunkbeds. They motioned me to come in. One of the kids is the one who has been showing me the lion head dance and the pick-up moves for the tail. He looks like a Victor, so I am going to start calling him Victor. Anywho, Victor motioned for me to come in and I got across the question, "Do you live here?" And they all shook their heads. Wow. They lived at the gym where they practice lion dancing. Victor is only about 15 years old and the others are around that age. I was really surprised to see that they lived at the gym. About 8 kids in a room 2x-3x bigger than my dorm room in college. I showed up and there was a kid playing an oldschool Nintendo on his 7inch black and white TV screen. I just found it odd that these guys would live here where they practice. I know thats how they used to do it. Students would come and stay at the school and live there, but I never really had seen that, and it was odd finally seeing it. Pretty interesting. I wonder where their families are from.
I then drove Peter's scooter home. Standing up on that thing when you drive is a blast!

Posted by Phil at 01:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The driver of the bus coming back from the Zhongshan ferry port to Xiaolan would not lay off the horn. He kept on honking whenever he approached someone. I know they don't need to the horn, they know you're coming. How do I know that? Well, if they don't hear the wave vibrations of a vey un-aerodynamic design, they can hear the loud squeeks of crappy construction coming from inside the car down the road. I am sure it sounds like a pack of rabbid groundhogs. I am just waiting to pass up Matt Rose who will proceed to yell uncontrollably at us.
I was coming back from the Ferry port in Zhongshan because I headed to Hong Kong today to get a new Two Month "L" -VISA. I hopped a ferry boat this morning at 10AM which meant I had to be on the bus to the ferry port at 820AM. I got to Hong Kong around 1130AM and I got to the VISA office around 12PM. Since I got the VISA in before 1230pm, I can pick it up again at 630pm and head back.
So, I had many hours to kill in Hong Kong.
First thing was to take a break and figure out what I wanted to do and see. I sat down in the concrete park behind the Mandarin Plaze, looking at the big fountain. There I sat flipping thru "The Sailors Guide to Hong Kong". Hmmm...Man Mo Temple looks pretty kool. Apparently its an old fashioned temple (buddhist) in the middle of the Central business district. That would be an interesting contrast. What else? Oh, need to run to the Apple Store and get DVD Studio Pro 3. I need to get some money to pay for the VISA and I only have about $30HK. So, I head back to the ferry terminal because the Apple Store is at the most southern part of the ferry terminal. I get there and they don't have it. PHOOEY! Then the store rep was like, I will call the Central store. Blah blah blah cantonese blah blah blah cantonese. Yup, they got it down at the Central store. Do you want them to hold it and go pick it up or do you want them to run it up here?
Oh, no, I will go pick it up. I got time to spare anywho. Where is it on the map? Oh, its just a couple blocks from Man Mo temple. Thanks. Later.
So, I head off to the subway. I grabbed a train to central and for some stupid reason, I wasn't paying attention, and I got off at the wrong subway stop. Retard. I was only one stop away so i thought I would walk it. HA HA HA HA HA! Not in Central Hong Kong. I got about a block before I ran into the concrete web of roads/highways. Yeah...I don't want to get lost. This map blows too by the way.
So I head back down to the subway, get some cash outta the ATM and hop on the subway to the correct stop.
Finally get there and hit up the Apple Store. Pretty cool stuff I see they got. Some new things. So I purchase the software and they said it was ok to leave there so I didn't have to lug it everywhere. It was about 2pm or so by that time. So, I left and headed out to find Man Mo Temple. On the way there I noticed alot of junk...I mean antique shops. Lots of Buddhist and Indian stuff. I figured I would check it out on the way back from Man Mo temple. I got to Man Mo temple. It looked interesting being a one story oldfashion temple in between two high rises. I mulled around for about 30 minutes, got some fotos, and headed back.
I stopped by a couple junk...I mean antique shops and looked around. Looking for gifts. Too bad they are all expensive. I found one that I think had maybe an authentic Katana, but it was just old and rusty. It was obviously not stainless steel. Who knows. I stopped by this one shop that was a much classier junk...antique shop. The owner was real nice and I chatted with him for a bit. His english was good. I first started talking to him in a bit of Cantonese, much like I did the cab driver earlier in the day, he took me from the ferry boat to the visa office.
As I chatted with this owner fella, I took his card because I know my folks like this kinda stuff, so I will let them know about it. (you hear...read that mom and dad!? Thinking of you! :-) ) As I talked to him I noticed a picture of him with who I thought was Goldie Hawn. "Um...is that, who I think it is?"
"Yes Yes Yes! [he was very proud] That's Goldie Hawn! [I looked surprised because I wasn't expecting them to find this small place...for all I know, its famous] She was wonderful. So warm, so nice. A great personality. Alot of famous people come here cause Hong Kong is really great. Of all, she was one of my favourites. I love it when famous people come here. Its an honour." He showed me some others. One actress who's name I forget, the guy said that she was very cold. The only time she smiled at all was during the process of taking the picture. Great acting. She looked happy. lol
There was a picture of Tom Cruise wearing what I think was a Top Gun hat. Very goofy. The hat was bigger than his head it seemed like. Apparently he had an entourage with him who refused to allow his picture taken. However, after a bit, Tom said, sure, what would it hurt. Apparently he is good with fans. To bad he isn't really all that good with acting.
Then the guy said Angelina Jolie was in there but refused to have her foto taken. Oh well.
After I said goodbye, I headed out to grab some food. Found a little Vietnamese place. Had some yummy food. Then walked back to the Apple Store. Before I got there, I saw a little shop that was selling cheesy looking Santa Costumes for $100HK. I was in charge of finding Clyde a Santa costume, so I tried it out, seems good enuff and its cheap for Hong Kong. So, i talked her down to $80HK. It prolly was much less to make. Oh well. I got to the Apple Store, grabbed my software and headed out. I hopped the subway to Causeway Bay area for the Times Square mall. The 9 story mall. Its huge. I was looking for some present, but didnt really find anything that I could really purchase.
I walked around and looked at some ugly clothes. I then spent about 5 minutes watching the trailer for the new Stephen Chow movie, "Kung Fu Hustle" it looks awesome. His last movie was awesome too...Shaolin Soccer. From there I passed by a TV store. THey had this gigantic widescreen TV playing Spiderman2, so I got sucked into watching that.
After that was over, I headed out to the subway and to the VISA office. Maybe my VISA is finished. I got there at 6pm and it was done.
Crap. I should have prolly come at 5pm to see if it was finished. Then I could have caught the 6pm ferry. Now I have to wait to 8pm. Oh well. So, I chilled out by the fountain and took some pictures of the christmas lights that were out.
I then walked to the ferry port. Got my ticket and headed back.
And this darn van driver back to Xiaolan won't stop honking...

Posted by Phil at 11:01 PM | Permalink

Chinese logic does not exist.
So today was interesting. I was all prepared to go to Hong Kong. I was waiting at the Flower Hotel at 800AM waiting for Maria's phone call to tell me that I had to go to Hong Kong because the Zhongshan PR Office said "No Extension". However, at about 8:05AM, I get a call from Maria telling me that the office can do the extension. Phew. That's a load off. However, still in the back of my mind, I am still saying, I am still gonna have to go to Hong Kong. So, about 5 minutes later Lynn calls me telling to meet her at the police station in 1 hour to finish getting the materials taken care of. So, an hour later I show up and collect my materials then head down to ShiQi.
I get to the BOND office and I see Richard. Chat with him a minute. Then Maria comes down and is introduced to me. I go with her to fill out some forms. While she is putting them together, I am chatting with a married couple that are telling me about the trouble they had with getting and extension. Apparently when they tried to get the extension, thats when BOND found out about the new VISA regulations. That's right, no government institution told them about it. They told me good luck. Their extensions failed and they had to go to HK that day.
I finish filling out my forms. Joe, one of the drivers, take us over to the office. When we get there, Maria told me to stay out of site.
....what?
Yes, please stay out of site. Because if you are there, they may ask you some question. I will deal with this.
Ok...WARNING SIGNS! That's not how things should be done. So I stay in the waiting room and wait. About 15 minutes later she comes back and says, "you still need to go to Hong Kong." She then proceeded to explain to me what went on...
I told him that your VISA is about to run out and that you need an extension on Business, but they said no. They know about BOND and how BOND brings in foreigners and how they are working on VISAs that they shouldn't be working on. They wouldn't even extend it even if during that time period we apply for a Z-Visa. He said the only thing to do is to get an "L" Visa. [however you can't work legally in China on an "L" VISA. And a new regulation says that you can't have an "L" VISA turned into a "Z" VISA anymore. This is the bullshit I have to deal with from these assholes.]
So on the way back to the BOND office I explained to her very graphically why I would not stay with BOND for 1 year. After my long explanation...she said, "Oh."
You work for the Dark Side, Maria. Face it.
We got back and I told that Richard about it. He got pissed. "WHAT!? They said they could over the phone! That was the whole point of this fone calling or going to HK business. Damnit. Maria is there anyway we can get the actual rules and regulations so we know?"
no answer. still none.
Richard had all my classes canceled for Tuesday so I could go get my VISA in HK. I figure that since it will only take a day to do it, I will make a day of it and go tomorrow in the morning and come back in the evening. That way I don't waste money spending the nite.
That whole process went from 8AM - 2pm. Constant jerking around. Pricks. After that debacle, I headed to the walking street where I visited and walked around the park and checked out that music store with the cock-rock metal guitars. Still there. Same price. I wonder why no one is buying anything from this place?
I then hopped another bus to Xiaolan. I had about 40RMB in bus and taxi receipts that needed to be reimbursed, but Lynn said Jane couldn't allow it. "But Richard said..." I HATE YOU CHINESE!!! I stormed out of there. As I was about to flag a taxi, Lynn cased me down and apologized to me about a couple things. I told her I was fed up with BOND and its incompetence. You guys suck. Terrible. Don't bother me. You have already pissed me off enuff with this VISA issue.
I came back here and vegged out. I then showed some people who came over my DVD. They loved it.
I am going to bed.

Posted by Phil at 10:59 PM | Permalink

So today I got up for class in Guzhen. I got there and Mountain was there to take us instead of Lynn. He said Lynn was taking care of my stuff. So, does that mean it wont be completed? The classes were really good, the kids were responding well. There was this new chinese girl who is gonna prolly be an English teacher. She is quite good. I told her the foreigners don't like BOND, but since she is chinese, she may be able to deal with it. She watched my class. I had fun there today.
I then headed back and I went to English Corner to meet up with Lynn to take care of some more information. I met her at the entrance of People's Park. I then walked with her to the corner. She was asking me questions and telling me that she can't get the Police to stamp the stuff because that part of the Police office is closed on weekends.
So, Lynn said she will go in Monday at 8am. Get that info. If Maria calls and says, "You have to go to Hong Kong" then you go to HK. If not and Maria says, "You can get the extension" then you wait for me to get you the materials then you go down to ShiQi to fill out the applications and turn them into the Zhongshan Office. Sounds ok.
I will prepare for the worst of situations though. That is, I need to go to HK, but when I get there, I won't be able to get a Tourist VISA. I will be stuck in HK. That would totally suck. I tried to explain that to Lynn, she had no clue what I was talking about.
I got to the corner and Peter was there passing Invites to all the people for our Christmas Party. On the Invite it said, "I regret to inform you that Tony will not be allowed to attend the festivities. He offended many people and will not be allowed in." -Peter
I laughed pretty hard. I mean, sure, its not Christian Charity to do that, but is it very Christian to invite him and let him offend and harrass the female guests? I mean, we can't stop him from being himself.
Lynn asked me some more questions while I was off alone chatting with the little girl from the Halloween party and her father. And I said again, in my dry tone, "You know, all this could have been avoided had those sheets been passed out." I didnt see her face when I said it, but I knew she stopped what she was doing for just a moment and looked at me with that, "You are an asshole" look. Hey, its not my fault you are incompetent.
After English corner I relaxed a bit. No more DVD work to do...well, not really. I had to teach again at 3pm for the kindergarten class with Daisy.
I got there and gave Daisy and her mother an invite to the Christmas party. Daisy seemed really excited. So, in the class today was Daisy, 4 years of age, and two other boys with chinese names that I can't remember. Both of them were about 7-8 years old. The boys english was good for their age, but Daisy's was just as good, if not better. That girl continues to impress me. I was teaching them some things like, Airplane, Scooter, and Motorcycle. Daisy was getting them all the time, the two boys were having trouble. But they were doing good.
I was practicing right and left with them, making them march around, which they loved. I got them to throw and catch stuff. I did Simon says and some other things. They were learning alot and having fun. I didn't want to stop. But time was up and they needed a break. It was a great class. I was happy.
I came home and prepared stuff for the long day ahead of me on Monday. Its gonna be a pain I know it and I know that I am gonna have to end up going to HK.

Posted by Phil at 09:43 AM | Permalink

I woke up this morning and finished putting together my Christmas DVD. I have burnt a bunch of copies and shipped it to my folks. During this time, Richard called me up to explain what's going on.
"Phil? Hey there, mate. Ok. VISAs....What a nightmare. [exasperated]I have been doing nothing but calling all morning and I finally got the info. U.S. Citizens are totally screwed by the new regulations. First off, U.S. Passport holders can no longer get an "F" Business VISA unless they have a letter of introduction by their U.S. company." [this means that I can no longer get a business VISA - one that would allow me to work in China.] "You can still get an "L" Tourist VISA though, however, will cause some problems since it is illegal to work on an "L" VISA." [i worked for 2 months on an 'L' VISA when I first got here because BOND are lying chinese snakes.] The only other way is to convert that to a "Z" Work VISA, however, with the new Regulations,you can't do that. But here is what we are going to try and do, the Zhongshan PR Office may be able to extend your "F" VISA for a period of time while we put in the change for the "Z" VISA, since they are still allowing for that to happen. So, this is what we will do. You will give all your information (certificates and diploma and photocopies of passport/visa) to Lynn who will have you fill out some residence slips and get some stamps from the Police station. Maria, who is new and here at teh office, will call the Zhongshan Office Monday morning at 8am to see if its possible for us to extend your "F" VISA. If on Monday, they say they can't extend it, you will need to hop over to HK and get an "L" VISA. Sound good?"
-I guess. Good thing you called, I was just trying to find a place to stay for the night.
"Ok, I will call you if anything changes."

The VISA issue is really making me hate China. Its a money pit. If I have to keep getting this stuff done, how the heck am I gonna save up for Japan and to get home. Ugh. Theoretically, the U.S. and China have reciprical VISA relations. If the chinese are doing all this junk it must mean the U.S. is screwing with chinese people. Obviously, the increased Nazi security in the U.S. is not really securing anything but pissing off Chinese and American VISA holders. Who really suffers from these two warring governments? The VISA holders. I want to spit in both of the leaders faces.

The rest of the day, I just ran some errands and took care of some stuff. John came over and we chilled and watched Team America cause he hasn't seen it yet. I swear, I still laugh hard at that movie. Peter showed up and the three of us decided to put up the fake Christmas tree. Its only 5 feet tall, but still, its funny. We drapped it with lots of fast blinking lights and these really ugly moon, tree, and star shapes that blink really fast. Totally gawdy. We also added three strands of shinny metallic looking boas. Silver, Green, and Red. Then we added some blue bells that are just plain ugly. We still need to put up the ornaments that we got, we need hooks to do that first. ITs also missing some other stuff. Fake snow. We don't have an angle or star for the top, so we grabbed a chinese fan and placed it on top. It looks terrible, it rules! Ha ha.
After we finished that, John, Peter, Echo (Peter's woman-friend) and I hopped a taxi cab and we went to the weird club in Guzhen that has dancers (not exotic, but just girls dancing....really badly) and body builders. This scrawny chinese guy, who is ripped, comes out and shows off on stage to really bad music. Its very funny.

Posted by Phil at 01:28 PM | Permalink

There are two parts to this one. First, the funny one and then I will mention the irritating one. After my long Friday schedual which was 6 classes, i chilled a few moments before I ran off to Chinese lessons.
John Irish called me while I was at home and said he and Toby would show up for lessons. They never did. So, I got to have a private lesson. I was having fun. This whole day was great. It was terrific. I couldn't believe it was this good...
Before we began the lesson, we were just chatting and somehow got on the topic of irritation. I asked, "Do I irritated you Lynn? With all my questions I mean? i just want to understand the language." And she shyed away from responding to that. LOL! But then she asked, "Do I irritate you?" My response, "You haven't in awhile. Things have been good for the past couple months."
She said, "Aiya! Why do you have to be so honest?" And then she gave me the evil, but friendly eyes. I responded to that with, "Hey, I don't lie. Since I was raised properly, I don't lie alot and I don't participate in domestic violence. Maybe the chinese should learn a lesson from me." This got another stern look from her. Speaking of domestic violence, I need to mention that later.
Lynn had me work on a song called, "The Shining Moon Represents My Heart". Some crappy slow Chinese Pop music. It was ok to practice on though. It was slow and easy to understand. I was trying to get the translation, and it was tough, because Lynn kept changing what the words meant. STICK TO IT!
So, I got along well. Lynn said I was hitting the stuff properly. The one major question I had was this, "If Mandarin uses tones, how do you sing in Mandarin? If you are on a note and you use the tones, you change notes. What's up with that?" I guess its all context in this case. She couldn't really answer the question, but thats the most obvious answer. And since all chinese music revolves around sappy love songs, you can pretty much guess.
This is a love song so I asked Lynn, "So...is there a reason why you chose to practice this song....with me? Are you trying to tell me something?"
So about the time class is over at 9pm, John shows up. I was like, so...was the pizza that good that you couldn't come to class. We learned a song.
He was like damn. Yeah. I wish I came. I got into another arguement with Toby. That guy just totally gets on the wrong side of conversations. I have no clue how he does it. Yeah, Toby, Tiannamen Square 15 years ago was justified. Whatever.
Anywho, John proceeded to tell me a story about some of his students....
In between classes, John went to the restroom and he was washing his hands as some of his students walked in. The students saw him, got all inquisitive and began to ask, "Let me see it! Let me see it! Let me see it!" Yes. They were asking to see his junk. After the initial shock and fluster of the question John rebounded with, "Nah, I don't think so. It would scar you for life." He then left while the kids kept begging him to show it to them. Thats freaky.
After I laughed a good long while I told John that I was gonna head to HK to do my VISA monday morning and come back monday nite. He said, "you sure you can do that? Things have changed apparently. And apparently the change is really bad for Americans."
What changes? How do you know about these changes and I don't?
Then Lynn went to the desk, yeah, here's the sheet. The sheet that was on top of about 30 other sheets that were supposed to be handed out to the teachers. WHOLLY CRAP, LYNN!!! WTF! THIS IS DATED 1 MONTH AGO!!! WHY DID YOU JUST GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!!!!! The new regulations are practically racist to Americans. Here's the new regulations:

IT WOULD HAVE HELPED ME IF I HAD RECEIVED THIS LAST MONTH, LYNN! Damn you and your chinese incompetence! I am calling Richard. "Hello, Richard, yes, goodaye-mate to you too. I was just calling to let you know that I need to get my VISA taken care of this weekend and I just received the info on the new regulations that you wrote a month ago from Lynn..."
-"You JUST received it now? How is that possible, I sent it up there a month.......fuckin' 'ell. ugh.
This is exactly the type of thing I was trying to avoid by sending that up there. hmmm...well...I will
give you a call tomorrow. Let me talk to Lynn."
I gave the phone to Lynn and I think Richard said something to her.
During my VISA discussions with Lynn and John, Toby showed up and piped in his assinign opinion of President Bush so I told him to shut his english pie hole because I didnt want to hear his drug-inhibited babble. By the time Lynn got done talking to Richard, John and Toby had headed out to grab some more of the gang to go meet up with Antwoine, the french dude. I hung around to talk with Lynn when she got off the phone. On the way to the gate after we locked up the office I said, "Hey Lynn..." in my dry tone, "Do you remember what we were talking about at the beginning of class?...."
She look at me, lowered her head just a bit and said "Yes". She then asked if I would go to HK on Monday. I said i would wait to hear what Richard had to say tomorrow. I then added once more before I left to meet the gang, "I prolly could have taken care of this stuff weeks ago if someone had passed out those sheets like they were supposed to." And that was the last thing that was said between us that nite. Did I get a sorry from her? No. I didn't. I swear, that girl. Man. I can't figure her out.
We get along great for awhile, and then she goes and pisses me off royally. Then she is nice and things get better since I have Christian Forgiveness and then she goes off and does it again. AAAARGGGHHH!!!! CUT IT OUT!
The chinese way sucks.
I then headed to meet up with Antwoine. that was interesting.

Posted by Phil at 01:06 PM | Permalink

Today was an ok day. I found out that I am able to finish my DVD project. I am working on completeing that. Compressing the movie file from 25gigabytes down to about 2.5gigabytes. Its gonna take all nite.
Lion Dancing, apparently the teacher is busy for the week, so he hasn't been around. Not many students were there. I worked on some formwork and practiced some of the lion dance I was taught on Tuesday. This really works your lower back, I need to start stregthening it up. It reminds me of how Capoiera works your lower back as well.

Posted by Phil at 01:32 PM | Permalink

balloon today. I was teaching a life or death lesson..."Past tense" and its use in context of a Parade..."What did you do in the parade?" But there was this one girl among many students not paying attention. She was playing with a balloon. I grabbed it while she was bouncing it on her hand. I squeezed and it blew up right there. I JUST CRUSHED YOUR JOY, LITTLE GIRL!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!! BECOME A MINDLESS ZOMBiE LIKE THE REST OF YOUR CLONES! I see it like this: its up to me to destroy the hopes, joys, and optimistic outlook of all chinese children to stop them from taking over the world with their lack of dental hygene and dirty clothes. I mean, these kids don't even laugh when someone farts or burps. SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY WRONG WITH THAT!!!
Back to the story. It was a green balloon and it was one of those small balloons that are used for waterballoon fights...however, chinese kids are too much of wimps to actually fill it up with water and start a waterballoon fight in the class. No focus or determination I tell ya. Whoever said that the chinese were hard-workers didn't specify what they were hard-working at. Obviously they don't work hard at the right things. And its more than just water balloon fights. I will expound on that.

Posted by Phil at 03:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I got to learn some lionhead dancing! It was kool. Hard, but cool.

Posted by Phil at 01:36 PM | Permalink

Well, today I purchased my new ERHU. Its basically the chinese violin. Its got two strings on it. ER(2) HU(Strings - i was told). Apparently its hard to play. And it is. Its not hard to get a sound on it, but its hard to get a nice clean sound. There is a certain amount of pressure you need to place on the strings with the horse haired bow to get the right sound. Any more or any less, it sounds like you are grinding metal on metal. I was jamming around with it after I bought it at my place for a bit. I am getting some good sounds out of it, but the higher register on both strings starts to sound really bad. I figured out how to play "Mary had a Little Lamb". Its like a violin in that there are no frets, so you have to learn where the notes are and its sounds a bit like a violin.
I was foolin around with it and i was throwing in some thrash metal fingerings on the strings...lots of fast hammer-ons and pull-offs...it was rocking. I was shredding that thing up.
I need to get some lessons.
I went to the music store over by People's Park with Lynn. We looked at many different Erhu models, however, I ended up buying the cheapest one. Not because it was the cheapest, but because it was the only one i could get a decent sound on. I got a case with it, some extra strings, an erhu DVD, and some rosin (the stuff you wax the bow with so the horse hair grabs the strings). I received the white persons discount so it came to a total of 263RMB, which is ~ $30US. Awesome.
After I bought it, I headed home and fooled around with it. I then headed to Lion Dance practice. I have been resting my back the past week and a half and getting back there was good. However, the teachers never showed up, so I just practiced on my own.
My question is, why do I have to learn Hong Quan before learning the lion dance when its obvious the chinese guys doing lion dance don't have a friggin clue on the proper stances and techniques in Hong Quan.
During their breaks they stare at me practicing and then try to imitate it, in the process they mock me. If they actually did it with any skill, then I might find it helpful and usefull, but what they are doing is just downright insulting.
Don't get me wrong, I want to learn the full Hong Quan, amongst other things the teacher can show me as well as lion/dragon dancing. Its just these punks show me no respect and make fun of me behind my back.
Since the teacher never showed, everyone left early. I was really the only one doing any work. Everyone else was just standing around smoking and being chinese.
Oh yeah, thats another thing. All these guys are working hard doing lion and dragon dancing, running around, doing great physical feats, then they go out for a smoke. RETARDS!
Earlier in the day before I picked up the Erhu, I was still busy trying to fix my computer issues. I am on this discussion website and one of the moderators offered some suggestions to try. Unfortunately it didnt work. I am gonna have to re-install some stuff. Something I don't want to do. Pain in the butt. I will be in HK this upcoming weekend so I will pick up DVD Sudio Pro 3.
I chatted alot with people also trying to figure out how to spend 2-3 months in Japan without a real job. I figure once my teaching stuff here in China is over in August, I would hop over to Japan and stay there practicing Shorinji Kempo. There is an International Taikai in October that I have been planning on going to since I started 4 years ago. Since I am on this side of the world, i must stick around and just go to the taikai. Then after that I would prolly run down to the SK Hombu practice sessions they got. That would rule, then visit some friends that are living in Japan.
But I need to figure out where I could stay while I was in Japan before the Taikai. I want to go to Yokohama to study with a certain sensei. I may try to get my connections to set up a group and we could have an English Language for Shorinji Kempo/a little cash/place to stay trade off.
Time for bed.

Posted by Phil at 09:24 AM | Permalink

I did a Archive and Clean install and that didnt work. I have been discussing online with some people about what to do. Still got lots to figure out and do.
Ugh.

Posted by Phil at 09:24 AM | Permalink

This morning I woke up early because of the honking outside. So I finished the last chunk of film for my Christmas present. I had been doing the video in chunks due to lack of Harddrive space and then deleting the imported files to free space up again. I finished the last video chunk and exported it. YES!
There were alot of files to dispose of. So, I put about 17GB worth of video and render files into the trash to delete. Shouldn't be a problem figuring I have done this many times before. I selected empty trash. The screen darkened and a warning in 5 different languages popped up on the screen. YOU MUST RESTART OR SHUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTER NOW!
"HOLY CRAP! What the hell is this?!" This warning scared the living crap out of me. I have never seen anything like this and I don't know what it is. So I restart and go to empty the trash. It happens again. WTF! I restart and remove the files from the trash and just try to trash a small file. It does it again! DAMNIT! SOB! I totally do not need this right now. I shut off my computer and let it sit for 1 minute. I restart and try to empty a small file. It crashes again! UGH! I then shut it off and leave it off for about 25 minutes while I go to lunch.
Meanwhile, while I am eating lunch, Sean shows up at the house because he is going with us to be judges at the English Speech Competition at the Xiaolan Middle School. Peter is laughing at me because of my computer troubles. I give him the finger and put a board right thru his head.
Before we leave, i try my computer again. It crashes! AAAAARGGGG!!!! DAMN YOU, STEVE JOBS!!! YOU BLEW IT UP!!! (ala Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes)
So i shut my computer off. I still don't know what this is. I will find out when I get back.
Sean, Peter, and I head out to the Xiaolan Middle School. This place is huge! I have some pictures I posted. I don't know how high the ceiling is, but I am sure you would go splat if you fell from the top. In addition to its monstrosity, the stage is huge as well. They sure go all out for school plays. I guess you can get a feel for how much money this school has and how many students there are...they have 2 foreign teachers. Every other school has 1. Except Jou Ko..because thats the rich kids school..they have 2 as well. The two british people, Sean and Suzannah...but they only count as 1 because they don't speak English properly.
First thing about competitions here in China is that they are rigged, at least this one was, and that no one really wins. There were 13 participants. 5 students won 3rd Place, 5 students won 2nd Place, and 3 students won 1st Place. Please tell me...what was the point of the competition if everyone won something? Because if you dont tell me...I dont know what I will do... We asked Stephen who was acting as a judge but he was also the one that asked the questions and moderated everything. Stephen, if you remember from my misadventures, is one of the government employees who works at Xiaolan Middle School...mind you, two of the 1st place winners were from Xiaolan Middle School. Stephen is the guy that I met the first big dinner I had here in Xiaolan...it was the same nite I met the gay Jet Li, Jason. Which is funny i mention his name, because last Tuesday, it was Jason who called me and asked me to participate in this event. Jason, the gay Jet Li, works at the Overseas Middle School and he was a judge at this competition...mind you the third 1st place winner is from Overseas Middle School....hmmm....did someone say conflict of interest muffled under a cough? I know I heard it...hell, I said it.
There are still a few foreign teachers that believe he is gay, while a majority of them say, "No no no no..he is married and has kids. He can't be gay." Um...excuse me? Its possible. Didn't you ever see The Kids in The Hall Movie?
Mom: "Hey kids, where's your father?"
Kids: "Oh...he's upstairs..."
Mom: "again? ugh."
Heck, biblical scholars think that Paul/Saul (the Saint that hated and killed Christians until God made him blind and then had a Christian in the next town make him see again - he is also the Saint that wrote all those confusing letters to the Gentiles and Simpsons) ...well, biblical scholars think he was gay.
The Govenor of New Jersey (i think it was NJ) is married and he just announced that he was gay.
Why did he step down from office? Was it because he was gay? Or because he was a bad public servant...hmm.
Anywho, back to Jason. He's a flamer...always likes to touch me when he talks to me. I turn my head and I see Clyde laughing at me. HA HA HA HA!
So, there the judges sat. Stephen was the closet to the edge. Then Peter, then me, then Arnold, then Sean, then Jason. We had to rate on a couple things.
1. Intonation and Pronunciation: 10 points
2. Speech Content: 40 points
3. Fluency: 10 points
4. Content of and Ability at answering questions: 30 points
5. Stage manners: 10 points
So, Peter and I decided to grade harshly. But the problem I was having was that I felt I needed a standard of what the group felt a 100% contestant was so I could have something to relate to...but nope. I had to just rate them. I look back now, I think I prolly went a little easy on the 1st and 2nd then started realizing what I should do.
Here's how it went:
All the students were given a choice of 5 topics to write on:
1. Books
2. Friends
3. Travel
4. Dreams
5. Work and Rest
Each topic had a starter paragraph apparently because everyone's speech started out the same. You could then write your own stuff. And you could mix and match the speech subjects. Like one girl did "Books, My friends". I think the content there is obvious.
Now, I understood almost everything said. There were a couple mistakes. A couple students fubbled lines, but its only normal. I mean, they are standing in front of their entire grade. Unfortunately I had to knock some points when that happened. A couple kids had their cards with them on stage and it was a shame because one of the speeches was good but she kept looking at her cards. It wouldn't have been a problem if she glanced at them quickly, but she kept flipping thru them. Most of the kids had their speeches memorized which posed a couple problems. 1. They were fit into a certain groove and their flow didn't sound proper. It sounded like they were just spouting off prepared lines. They sounded like robots sorta. There was this one girl that kept adding reflections on things that someone might say but actually didnt. And she would react as if someone asked her the questions. It was interesting, but by doing so, it cause her speech to be connected in a way that made it hard to understand. Her body motions as well, like hand movements and stuff look un natural as well.
1 of the 3 girls that received 1st place was really good though. If it was a real competition, she would have gotten 1st place....all alone. Her english was fantastic. Her speech was on dreams. She wants to be an interpretter when she gets older. She sounded very good. I think I gave her a score in the 90s, i dont think anyone else got a score in the 90s, by my hand. Same with Peter. I was very impressed to say the least.
Well, now...on to talking about the questions raised by Stephen. The first problem was the fact that some of his questions, I couldn't even understand what the hell he said, so I didnt dock the students when they answered those questions slightly wrong. When we told Stephen about the it...the first time he said it wrong...he shrugged it off. More evidence that it could have been rigged. Also just to show how the chinese don't like to be embarrassed, if he gave the question again, he would lose face. Stupid culture issues. (and yes, I know Americans do some of that too, however, not to the level or seriousness it is taken here)
The second problem with his questions is that half the ones he asked were answered in the student's speeches. For example, one kid did hers on "Work and Rest". She brought up the saying, "All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy." She explained the meaning. However, Stephen then asked her to explain what the meaning of "All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy." Peter and I turned at each other and gave a WTF look. Was he not listening? (more proof that it was rigged)
I was thinking, man, if I had that question, I would talk about "The Shining". If you get all work and no play, you go crazy. You chop down a bathroom door and stick your head thru the crack and your head turns into Jack Nicholson and you yell, "Here's Johnny!" to your freaked out wife.
But I digress.
Another student did hers on "Friends" and she brought up. "A friend in need is a friend indeed." However, Stephen asked her the question, "Please explain the phrase, 'A friend indeed is a friend in need." Um....ex-squeeze me? Baking powder? SHE ANSWERED THAT IN HER SPEECH, albiet she said the phrase properly.
Most of his questions were like that.
One student was talking about friends in her speech. But then Stephen asked the question, "If you cooked dinner for you family, what kind of food would you cook?" She said Chinese food. True, thats a good answer and I shouldn't be writing about that, because, I mean whats so funny about that. The reason I am bringing it up is because of what she continued to say. Ahem...(clearing my throat)...
"Yes..thank you for your well-thought out question [it wasn't well thought out]. I would answer it by saying that I would make them Chinese food. And I will explain why I chose that." [this is where it gets good] "I am Chinese and I love China. China is the greatest country. Its such a wonderful place. Why would I want to leave China? Hollywood is rubbish. I live in China, I will live in China forever. My parents live in China and they will stay here forever. China is great. Because of that, I will cook them Chinese food."
wow...lets see...because you are brainwashed, I am taking off about 20 points. Horrible content. Are you trying to insult the judges? You do see the fact that there are foreigners judging you. We are right in front of you...well, actually more to the side. Don't do that, it doesn't benefit you. Close minded child.
Another student spoke of her dream to become a Fashion Designer. The question she received was the following. "If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?" Her response was correct, but the locations she wants to go to because of her Fashion Designer dream are not the best locals.
"First, I would go to Spain. Because I have read about it and its beautiful. So I want to go to Spain." ok...I can understand Spain, it just wasn't what I was expecting for her first desire to go for Fashion Design. "Second, I would go to the United States. They have a lot going on." Ok, I can understand this for the reason that America, like it or not, does alot in culture exporting. Rock N Roll, anyone? However, for fashion design, America is always the last to get the world fashion trends. We were the last country to get the Cellfone trend and the last to know that Iraq has no nuclear weapons (face it, alot of us wanted to believe - we were lied to and thought our adminstration had the interests of the American Public as highest priority) - i dont use "weapon of mass destruction" because Saddam WAS one of those. Too bad our Republican leaders helped keep him in power back in the 80s.
"Third country I would visit would be Japan because its so close to China and they have lots to do there." Ok, I understand Japan and can accept it because they do start all the electronic trends in the world and asian fashion seems to be dictated by the stupid looking outfits those people wear. I mean, come on! buffalo shoes? Disgusting! Yes, I want to look like Frankenstein's Monster. How bout I wear some bolts in my neck as well!
I was very surprised that she didn't say France or Italy. Those are two places that need to be visited if you want to do fashion. France, despite its froggy-ness, is a melting pot of fashion trends, bad hygene, and smelly natives...hmmm, just like China. Italy, Smelly people, same type of toilets, and fashion trends. Just like China. I think that she would find more of what she needs there.
And on to the best answer to any of the questions...
"Why are you here? Why are you here on stage, what has inspired you to do this?"
The girl thought for a few seconds then said, "I have to say I am here...because of Britney..."
This is where my jaw dropped and stayed hanging there for what seemed like an eternity. Crickets chirped in the silence of the moment. Cars got into accidents on the street when they heard the stupidity of it all. A guys head exploded, much like the guy in Scanners, or if you have never seen that, like the KKK member's head when he learned that Dave Chappel (a black man) wrote 5 white-power books. If I smoked and was smoking at the time that she said this, the cigarrette would be loosly clinging to my bottom lip almost about to fall off. Kind of like that scene in Ghostbusters when Dan Akroyd's character first sees Slimer. That is the same expression I had on my face when this girl said that.
"...because of Britney. Yes, that's why I am here. She is so beautiful with big round eyes and she is just so talented. Her music inspires me. [please stop] She has accomplished lots and I think she is a great example of what you can do if you put your mind to it." STOP!!! WAIT!!! GO NO FURTHER WITH THIS FORMULAIC B.S.!
First off: She didn't really have to work hard to get where she was. Her success is due to the fact that producers engineered her into a money making machine and advertised her to young kids to help fill their minds with opium sounds to perpetuate many years of crappy boy and girl band stardom. I think it has had an effect on their brain functions as well as hers. I mean, this girl came out during the invasion of Iraq and said, "I think we must stand behind our president and not question him."
!!!!!
Speaking of brainwashing, this girl gave a speech and she was obviously brainwashed by American media. [I am sorry, chinese girl, I never wanted that to happen].
As for inspiring music, I guess Britney's song "SLAVE" fits the description of some of the chinese people.
Because of that horrible answer, I mark off many points. Too bad.
The girl who, I thought should have had 1st place was this girl that wants to be an Interpreter when she gets older. This girls English was fantastic. I was very impressed. she barely had an accent. I was very surprised. i gave her something in the 90s.
So, after the competition was over, the contests were called out to receive their prizes. These 5 middle school girls were the presenters, but they were wearing the most bizarre dresses. They were pink vinyl dresses with a Vampire/80s collar. With forearm covers. It was just too bizarre not to take pictures. So i got some. This is totally the wrong venue for those outfits. I could see those at Luna or City Club by someone who could fill them out. And not in the way that the girls at City Club would wear corsets...you know...women who should never wear corsets. Everytime I think of City Club, I think of that story with Matt Rose giving both barrels to the girl telling him to shut up because he was yelling at the naked girl. Ha ha. That story always brings a smile to my face. "Don't impede on my friend's right to free speech, suckaz!!"
So, after the show was over. And it really was a show. Jason tried to flirt with me but I resisted his advances. Then Mark Lee was taking his students out for a special lunch at KFC. Sean and I joined him. We also scanned the computer shops looking for some junk. Couldn't find anything in this junk heap. I then headed back home to see if I could fix my computer issues.
I got back and started my computer back up. I then went online trying to figure out what went wrong. I found out that it was a Kernel Panic. Its something UNIX does when it thinks the computer is doing something that it shouldn't be doing. Apparently trying to trash all those files caused it to panic. However, why it continued to do so continuously, I don't know. From what I read, if it happens once, its ok. But if it happens alot, then something is wrong with your system. So i searched on how to fix it. There seems to be no option but to restart. So, I tested the trash and it worked fine. I proceeded to trash the files. I then found out that a new Security Update has been introduced. So...I decided to update.
That's when all the problems started. I started up again to continue working on my DVD. My DVDSP2 and Compressor won't work now. I am irritated. This always happens when I need to get something done. I need to slap someone. So, I went to a couple message boards to see what was going on. I got some help, but none that was working. Oh well, I will have to work on it tomorrow.
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 05:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I asked a kindergarten his name... "My name is Dick."

Posted by Phil at 05:15 PM | Permalink

There is this kid in my 6 grade class that needs a whooping. He doesn't stay in his chair and he is a trouble maker. And don't worry, I don't whoop on the kids, I leave that to the chinese teachers.

Posted by Phil at 02:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I woke up today and I realized I had successfully caught the bug that was going around the gang the past couple days. Hopefully I will be better tomorrow. I spent the whole day drinking water, medicine tea, and working on my X-mas present for home. I went out to grab some lunch at the Hospital. However, it was about 130pm and they had shut the operation down so I trekked over to the noodle shop and got some yummy food. After that I headed back and continued my work.
I was doing a couple things.
1. Backing up all my mp3s onto DVD discs, about 25GB, to free up that space for video files. I need another hardrive. They got cheap ones here..I may just have to pick one up. It took me a whole day to copy the files to the DVD Disc and then burn it. I have 6 discs completed. Wow.
2. Importing some Beijing footage and editing it. Its alot to do. Very tuff. Frustrating becaues it keeps dropping frames and I have to babysit the videocapture. I don't know why this happened. It never drops this many frames like this constantly. Its always something.

I was able to sneak out for dinner. I went to Happy Time resturant. One of the few resturants with an English menu. I wasn't feeling 100% because I had that bug that has been going around and I spent most of the day in front of my computer..I fried my neurons. Getting out helped. I am gonna go to sleep early and try and sleep this off.
We will see how I feel tomorrow.

Posted by Phil at 09:32 AM | Permalink

Ok, so today is Sunday and I have to teach in Guzhen. So I went. Class was good. Nothing super duper happened. Lynn reminded me that I had to teach kindergarten class at 3pm. Ok. Shouldn't be a problem. After guzhen teaching was over, I headed home and did some more DVD work. 3pm was rolling around so I head out for class. It was just two kids this time. Daisy, and a boy i have never seen before. Leo, the boy, was super quiet and withdrawn for about 30 minutes, but the last 10 minutes, he opened up and he was getting into it. I was teaching them throw and catch and I had them chuckin erasers around the room. I got them to tell each other to run here, there, everywhere.
After this class got over, I waited around the Bond office because the Bond gang decided to have a big Badmitten tournament. Yes thats right, a badmitten tournament. Here were the teams.. Team America, me and John. The England Everlasts: Sean & Suzannah. The Samurai: Rumi & Yumi. China 1: Jolleen and Lynn. China 2: Mountain & Salina. Toby and Robert made up their own, Ash would swap teams from time to time. Anywho, everyone was playing.
I am sorry to say that Team America failed to achieve victory in all three of its campaigns. We found ourselves in a quagmire(sp?). But then again, only countries full of morons take badmitten seriously...England, China, and Japan. These people were hardcore. ITS FRIGGIN BADMITTEN! They need to choose their strengths wisely. Maybe thats why they were losing in WWII. Anywho. While I was on the sidelines after our first tour was complete, i was just chillin and I noticed lots of little feet moving to a beat behind the curtain of the stage they were on in the auditorium that we were in. Hmmm...little kids dancing...that rules. Then, the curtain was pulled back and they were the ages of 3rd-5th graders. "Hey! I know a couple of you! You are in my classes." I saw a couple kids still practicing while all the others were running around punching one another. They were learning Chinese Latin Dance. Chinese because all the sexuality and sensuality of the latin style dances had been stripped away...but then again, these were just kids, so it didnt matter. I was surprised at their technical skills though.
I tried to speak to the instructor, but he had no clue what I was saying. I finally got him to understand that I have been dancing 7 years and I dance swing/lindy hop. I started to show the kids some steps and they were just laffing at me until I tried to get a kid to show them with. They were all running away from me until I snagged one unlucky child. She was willing so I showed her the dance steps and we danced to a song. It was great! I have been able to dance like that since I got to China. All the kids mouths dropped and I started picking the kid up and using her for areils since she weight about 30 pounds. That song was over and I snagged another kid and danced to that song again with another. The kids all enjoyed watching and so did the teacher. Whoops time for class again and I had to run off to a badmitten battle with China 1.
After we finished playing, it was dark and we went out to the dumpling house for dinner. The service there stinks. Took forever, but the sweet and sour pork and dumplings were so so so so so sooooooo good. After that we pretty much vegged out for the nite. We went back to John's house and watched Shaolin Soccer. It was surprising that Jolleen and Rumi had never seen it. Then went home and slept.

Posted by Phil at 09:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ok. I woke up this morning at 645AM to the joyous sounds of The Cramps' "Zombie Dance" on my computer's mp3 alarm. If I could ever shoot a music video, I would totally do it for this song. I looked around to check my surroundings before I moved anywhere. I wanted to make sure that if I tried to move my body, and it blew up, I would be able to grab onto something. I was testing to see if my back had healed up at all...if it was better. I moved a bit, still sore. I got up and hit the snooze on the alarm. Well, I got up without out too much trouble. There were no shooting pains but there was still that dull ache. After I got up after the second alarm I headed into the shower, the heat of the water and the movement made me feel better. Once I started moving and stuff, most of the pain was gone, but it was still at about 65%. Still hurts and is sore. When I was done getting ready for class I checked the news and stuff. Its just more of the same, "Death, Destruction, Voter Fraud, Blue vs Red States, Scott Peterson, Bush is an Idiot, Bush is Praised, Terrorists Killed, Terrorists Kill, Kermit the Frog is Gay, Princess Di is Wearing a New Dress...". So, I turn my head to look out the windown and see the same damn thing everyday, the dirty bra & panties of the woman living across the street hanging out her window drying. Why don't I ever see that in the news.
Check some stuff and then head out to class. I am walking today, I don't want to chance anything with the bicycle. I get to school and eat my breakfast. Class starts and I got my 5th graders today. They are hit or miss classes. They pay attention at times and participate at times. Its the beginnings of puberty starting to hit. I taught the sound of "ou" and "ow" in mouse, cow, house, etc. I was able to make them enjoy it. Somehow.
During the break between the two morning classes, I searched online to figure out what I may have done to my lower back. I checked a couple websites and I narrowed it down to two things.
1. Pulled/strained/sprained muscle, tendon, ligament. I think that I may have pulled or strained something. Most likely.
2. Slipped or Herniated Spinal Disc. I thought that is possible that I did this. However, I worked down my spine and searched for any changes or pain i came across last nite and there was nothing. So, if I did have a slipped disc, it must have gone back in.
I mentioned what I did to Coco and Ivy. Ivy offered to bring me some medicine. I said OK. She asked if I went to the hospital. I said, "No. They would look at it and say, 'Put some heat on it and rest'" She said, "Probably."
I then asked Coco if there was anyone who did acupuncture around. Hell, I am in China, why not try out some Chinese Medicine. She said yes. She then said she will take me to a Chinese Doctor during lunch. Well, thanks. There is a place right down the street. After that, I had about 30 minutes left till my next class. I had lent Coco my new DVD copy of Return of the Jedi, I made her watch all 3 movies. She returned it so i was flipping thru some scenes on Anna's computer while she was at class. Time for class.
My second class went well, with nothing super special besides the childrens' smiles to write about.
Coco came and got me and we hopped onto her scooter and headed to the place. It was really close. I got off and entered. There were lots of people there, not as much as the hospital, but about 15. The place was small, thats why it seemed like alot. Most of them were parents with children, so I guess there is a Kid doctor there. A bunch of kids were hiding behind their parent's legs and staring at me from behind the legs. I got a couple kids to be more relaxed and say things to me. Super cute. I then waited with Coco to see one of the doctors. The doctor was treating this guy with possibly a sprained wrist...rubbing it and putting the universal plant paste onto it. (more about that later)
Coco mentioned that this office is famous in Xiaolan. I looked around...It looked like every other dirty, poorly constructed chinese building. They obviously don't do alot of sanitization around here. I dread to see what the inside of the hospital looks like. So I am sitting there waiting with Coco for this doctor to finish up with the other guy. He's done.
Coco explains to him whats wrong and he has me sit down backwards on a chair. He then massages the area and starts pushing on various pressure points. Throws some oil on it and massages for about 10-15 minutes. He is chatting with Coco and Coco is acting as an interpreter for the both of us. He is hitting these pressure points in my lower back and making me jump a bit. Not from pain of the injury but from the intense pressing of the pressure points. After he is done, he tells me to get up and move around. It was kinda freaky, becase I could barely feel the pain anymore. I was moving my body around with ease. I was really surprised. He then put together a plant patch.
Ok. Chinese medicine has this universal cure medicine. Its basically a heat patch. Its made out of ~35 different plants all mashed together and made into a paste. It looks like soft chocolate fudge from Mackinack Island. He spreads it out on some cloth and then puts some black oil on it, followed by some salt (i think...it was crystalline and white) and this light brown powder. He mixed it all up then slapped it on my lower back, where the spine meets the pelvis. The chinese use this to help with pain. Its used for muscle aches, headaches, and anything else you can come up with. I am sure they use it for cancer as well.
After that I paid 30RMB and headed out with Coco. The guy was very nice and chatted alot. It was a good experience. I felt much better, butI still felt a bit of pain that I think can only go away with time and rest.
Coco and I headed over to the Hospital because they have this little shop that sells really good food. And its super cheap...3.5RMB for alot of good food. Yummy.
I told Coco thank you for everything. I told her that I could walk home so she could go back to her place for the next two hours. I went home, ate, watched Team America and rested my back. I then headed out for class again.
I dislike these 6th graders. They just don't listen or pay attention. During one point of the silence that they produce, some kid dropped a glass and it shattered everywhere. I can tell you, that was very odd to hear in a classroom. You don't really expect the kids to have glass products in class. I don't remember having glass cups when I was in school. Maybe I am just getting too old. :D They were just irritating.
The second 6th grade class went better. They got into the material more and the activities I prepared. I sent this girl to the front of class because she wasn't paying attention and causing distractions. She also wouldn't participate. I use some of the kids to help illustrate a point and they get all defensive and make a scene about not going up to the front of the room. So I kick them in their behind and put a stun collar on them...like the one from Running Man...and if they dont do as I say, their head will explode. Not really, thats just a joke. I coerce them to the front and then they enjoy what I have them do. They cause more of a scene by not wanting to go up than actually going up. The genious logic that is adolescence.
All the while I am having class, this medicine patch is working...well, its staying hot. At one point in my classes I started to sweat a bit.
I then headed out to kindergarten class. It was the day of the 10 Kid Spaz Class. They were surprisingly docile today. They did a few things like run out of class and down the hall, but I am used to that now. I only had to yell a couple of times.
After kindergarten I headed home. I spent the evening finishing up the wedding DVD and starting some other project. I also removed my medicine pad. I hate it when people use tape to hold things onto your body...its such a pain to remove it. I had to wait at least 30 minutes until I could wash the crap off. My lower back was all stained like I was rolling around in dirt.
I then headed to bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Posted by Phil at 02:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Classes today were fine. The only big thing worth writing about is how I hurt my back.
I went to the gym...my normal routine. I was stretching out after warming up on the bike. I was holding my positions for a while and then moving slightly passed it to try and increase my range.I was doing really good, except during the one where you spread you legs and touch the ground, I must have pushed to far because my lower back was a bit sore when i stood back up. So, I was careful about it.
Throughout the day I was massaging it and rubbing it, trying to help it out. But then in Kindergarten, about 10 minutes after I started, I was going around crouched down shaking hands and asking children questions, and all of a sudden I felt a tug or snap or ripped in my lower back then terrible pain. OW! I was able to stand up. It hurt, I was able to bend, and it hurt...it hurt the most to bend backwards. But I could barely move my upper body or it would hurt. Right when it happened one of the Enforcers saw the look on my face. So I had Owen do stuff for me like pull out the table and physcial labor stuff. Man this hurt. Walking seemed to help but just a bit. Owen asked if I was alright and I told him I hurt myself.
I continued teaching, I just didn't do anything that would hurt. I was doing competitions with the kids on number recognition, 1-30 and they were enjoying it. However, while I asked for one girl to come up, the girl sitting next to her jumped up and grabbed my crotch. So i put her in the corner and after laughing at me, the Enforcer scolded the little girl.
Not five minutes later, another little girl decided to take her shirt off and run around the room. Man. What is up with these kids. The enforcer took care of this one.
Instead of me playing Head, Shoulders,Knees,and Toes with the kids, I used one of the kids as a model. I would point at the parts and have the kids touch their own. It was humorous. The teachers were giggling.
I then headed home. I pretty much spent the evening laying down and not moving.
Around 9pm I took a bath in one of the tubs at the house. I had to fill it up with the shower head. I couldn't use the faucets on the bath...i had to use the shower head. Thats chinese construction for you. So it took awhile to fill up enuff so I could submerge my lower back. I think it helped a bit. Hopefully tomorrow its better. I may try to see a chinese doctor...who knows what will happen.

Posted by Phil at 03:56 PM | Permalink

I woke up at 645AM today so i could shave and get ready for the festivites. I had my vid-camera batteries all charged. I had some tapes. My digital camera is all charged up. I'm ready. I get to the Bond office at 830AM. Apparently someone told John that it was formal, so he showed up in a suit. I realized once we were there that it was formal. No one told me. We got in the Bond van and we headed out to the park area. The place was busy. We got out underneath the makeshift entrance gate. Its like this plastic or papermache gate. Very cheesy. Check out the fotos. Apparently this festival takes place every year, but on a much smaller scale. But every 10 years they go all out with it. It was quite impressive.
We walk thru this thing and past the entrance to Longshan Park. Its very pretty this early in the day. We head to the new park where the festival will be taking place. Lots of people. We arrived at the entrance after walking around cluelessly for about 20 minutes. There is a registration table and a red walking carpet. We are government guests so we get to see the full show instead of just the parade that everyone else will see. This area is roped off and there are hundreds of Chinese already lining up behind the ropes. So, i am walking down this red carpet after registering, and I took some fotos of the people behind the ropes. Very odd experience. I guess i could chalk it up to movie stars in Hollywood...without all the screaming and throwing of underwear. Crazy.
We walk towards the sitting area and get our seats for the introduction and kickoff of the festival. There was this big pagoda and seats for the government members to sit around. I guess its called the Daus, or Dais. Whatever. Anyway. We got our seats right in front on the right side. Luckily this is a perfect place to videotape the parade that shows up later. It was about 920AM and we had 40 minutes until the speeches started. There was this chinese gong and drum band playing. Very loud, but cool. Since we had time to kill I went around taking pictures and stuff and looking at the stuff. There were two groups doing some Lion dancing. I saw that one of the groups was my running crew, so I took off over there to say hi. The old guys friend was there and I said hello and said "hi"to some of the others that I see alot. I took a bunch of fotos of them. I was about to leave to check some other stuff out when the headcoach showed up. He was happy to see me and I showed him that I was representing with the School T-shirt that he gave me the night before. He laughed. He had to go do something so I headed out with John to something that made my mouth drop.
John introduced me to Maria, his principal, and we walked to this area that looked like they had these floats with puppets on them...however, when we got closer, they weren't puppets. They were little kids! These kids were dressed up in chinese traditional outfits with Beijing Opera style make-up and in poses as well. From what I could tell is that there was a framework on these things in which the kids would sit, but their clothes and everything else made it look like they were defying physics. For example, there was this one kid holding an umbrella and on that umbrella stood to more children. I think there is a framework leading from the kid on the bottom up thru the umbrella up to the legs of the children. I have never seen anything like this. You really need to look at the pictures. They are just amazing. I can't really explain it. But, if you notice in some of the fotos there are birds that the kids are standing on...those aren't fake. They are real. Real birds were tied up with wire and tape and attached to the float. This was also kind of shocking. That would never fly in the states. I mean, members of a frat in Davidson College, giving props to my cousin, were busted for killing a goose. I was like a smack in the face...just like one chinese guy did to the dove...smacked it in the face a bunch of times.
After those awesome floats we headed back to the seats and I told Moses and Amy to go check them out. I then saw Hirano-San...the japanese man I met on my Beijing Tour. I asked to take a foto with him. Kool. I then sat down and more people started showing up. The crowd gathered and it was time to start. There I sat, with Robert (the new guy who is from New Zealand, not England) Mark Amy (england), and Toby (england). The government people started sitting down and getting stuff ready. Robert made a joke that they Dais/Daus looked like a UN meeting. I added more to the joke by saying, "I wonder if they will be as ineffectual as the UN"...that received a couple giggles from Robert and Mark. But not Toby. Toby decided to get into another arguement during the festivities. "And who made it so? The US by not following UN procedure." SHUT UP, TOBY! YOU FRUSTRATE ME TO NO END! So then I piped in, "No, the UN has been ineffectual for a long time." Mark asked, "Is this the time and place to discuss this guys, I don't think so." I agreed and stoppded but then Toby decided to add more and say that the UN does alot and he prefers the UN to "your lot - International Corporations is all the US Gov really is..." and they kill people. "[The US] has turned Iraq into a graveyard."
"EXCUSE ME!?! America has not turned Iraq into a graveyard. Saddam turned Iraq into a graveyard. And would continue to do so. Americans do not target civilians and murder them for no reason." I decided not to add anything about the horrids of Abu Garrahb prison and the like to prevent another line of Anti-US sentiment from Toby.
Toby then added a comment, which is a good point, I agree somewhat with, but I think its a stretch, "Let's look at the people who have defied the League of Nations and UN...Stalin, Hitler, a couple other names I forgot, and Bush". Good point - I said. However, I dont' know if Bush and Hitler could be compared that easily.
I then finished the arguement by saying, "If the UN was effective in anyway why is there genocide in Darfur, why was there Genocide in Bosnia-Herzogovina, why didnt the UN do anything for Somalia, why is Milosevic still in court and not in jail, why didnt they ever stop Saddam, why doesn't the UN stop all the murder and killings in Africa, why couldn't they stop the U.S. from invading Iraq, why didnt they do anything to stop Al Queda, why didnt they stop the Taliban from performing crimes against humanity, why don't they do anything to stop all the injustice that they should be preventing. All they do is talk and recommend things. They come out and condemn actions with speeches and words, but when do they act? And when they do act, whats the use of sending a handful of UN Peacekeepers to a Civil War. And weapons inspectors!!! If people want to build a nuclear bomb, they can hide it! What good are inspectors gonna do?" Its all bureaucratic B.S. This ended the arguement. Thankfully. I can take much more of him. I wonder how many comments I am gonna have on that rant. :D
The speeches by the local government began. There were five speeches by respected member of the government and community leaders. I found it kinda ironcic. Almost all speeches mentioned Dr. Sun Yat Sen and his famous quote, "Dare to be the first." Yet all four speeches contained that phrase. It was obvious none of these people "dared to be first."
After those speeches were over. The released the balloons. Man, there was alot of balloons. I hope these balloons don't kill any dolpins...(helium balloons, when they start losing helium and fall back to the Earth, sometimes over oceans...some dolphins have died trying to eat them). After they released the balloons they had a 6 cannon salute with confetti. After all the confetti was in the air, it looked like a swarm of locust. Check out the fotos. Amazing. After that the parade began. I was in prime seating. I think the kids were first then some dragons showed up. My vid-camera got knock almost out of my hands by a passing dragon. That should be interesting footage. THere were lots of Lion Dance troups. There was some group of ladies wearing pink and playing a drum. I was videotaping it all. I was waiting for my lion dance crew and they finally showed up and I was surprised. They were the last of all lion troups. And there was sooo many of them. I never realized how many of them there were. There had to be 20 - 30 lions runnnig by. They just kept coming. But first there were 2 dragons that showed up with the really old sifu wearing the Hung Gar outfit...leather belt with studs and leather gauntlets with studs. He saw me and motioned for me to come out and perform with the troup but I couldn't. The parade organizers told him to keep moving. That would have been cool though. A couple people from the troup waved. I got it all on tape. Before we left we were tlaking with the Japanese contingent and we all took some fotos together. Around this time tons of Chinese had surrounded us to watch white and japanese people take funny pictures.
After the parade passed us we headed to the car. We were gonna take the car to the Flower Hotel for lunch. We should have walked the whole way. We walked about 10 minutes when we couldn't move in traffic. I have never seen the city so crowded. All of the 300,000 people of Xiaolan must have been out in full chinese force. Walking across the street at will. It was amazing. A pain in the ass, but amazing. And of course on the way there Toby started knocking the US for no reason. I had to hold back. I so wanted to punch him in the back of the head. Robert and Mark watched as I steadied myself and they giggled.
We decided to get out and walk after about 40 minutes of going pretty much no where. we got there 5 minutes later. On the way there, I introduced John to The Rev. Horton Heat with the song, "Bales of Cocaine". He got a kick out of it. As we walked into the entrance there was a long line of workers ready to greet us. "Hello". I go upstairs and meet with some people. We sit down and begin to eat. The bring around this pig that was really good. But they have cherries with blinkin lights inside that they use for eyes. It was wierd. We ate and had a good time. We also had some fish balls and fried bananas. I went to grab a fishball with my fingers because trying to pick them up with chopsticks is a major pain. They also had these little paper cups they were in, so I felt that you could pick them up. Lynn just said, "Aiya, that's so rude! Using your fingers." So I responded. "Oh...let me get this straight...its rude to take a fish ball from a plate with your fingers, but its not rude to pick your nose in public, belch/fart without saying excuse me, make horrendous sounds with your throat before spitting on sidewalks/walls/streets, and going to the bathroom on the sidewalk." She didnt say anything after that.
Now, this is where the day gets really interesting. Someone pulled out some Bei-jiu. (potent chinese wine). The stuff usually tastes vile, but this must have been expensive and potent because it tasted somewhat good and was most likely made with roses. It smelled good compared to the others stuff we usually get.
Now. We just had a couple shots to greet each other. But then some chinese came over and wouldn't let us get away with not doing some shots. So we did. After that, I cut myself off. The next time the waitress came by she tried to refill my glass but I said no. Then, more chinese came to celebrate with us. Our table was getting a bit louder...and crazier. It was from the alcohol...check the fotos for my flower debacle. So this other chinese guy got the waitress to fill my glass when I wasn't looking. He then gave me the cup and I said no. Originally I tried passing some sprite off as Bei-jiu, but that didnt' work. So, they were pushing me to drink it. I wasn't gonna drink it until the guy physically forced me to drink it. ...I know what you are thinking...how could I allow that. Ok.
1. I was already a bit tipsy from the previous stuff.
2. I was sitting down, he was standing, and the cup was near my mouth.
3. I am not gonna hit this guy or be that offensive.
4. He grabbed the glass and basically poured the stuff down my throat.
I was pissed don't get me wrong, i didnt want him to do that, but I was not in the position or right mind to do anything. The guy continued to hang around while other chinese toasted others at the table. This dude kept his hand on my shoulder. What's up with the touching dude. All the chinese have to touch.
He then gave me his card...i grabbed it with my teeth. If not drinking didn't offend him, that most likely did. Offend this, sucka! Lynn couldn't stop laughing. I told her to order me lots of tea and tea with sugar. I needed to flush my system, but I feared it was too late...and I was right. We'll get to that later.
As we head out to leave, we were some of the last ones to go, the waitresses and workers were standing in a long line to say goodbye. So, me, with a chrysanthemum on head and an orange in my mouth, motioned for a line of them to raise their right hand out. I ran down the line and High-Fived all of them. IT ROCKED! They all got a kick out of it. We then left the hotel. A little boy gave Rumi a flower so I had him give it to her again and I took a picture. It was so adorable.
The gang wanted to get some ice cream from McDonald's and Toby got all upset. I don't want to go to McDonald's. We are in Xiaolan why do we need to go to McDonald's. Well, Toby, there is no better ice cream in Xiaolan. McDonald's is the best. Its the truth. Chinese ice cream isn't very good. So, he waited outside as we got some ice cream.
We headed back to our place...its about 230/300PM. Once we got back to the house, we were playing pool, listening to music and hanging out. I was drinking tons of water. Just kept drinking it. But, I drank tooo much water. And proceeded to pray to the porcelain good...around 4pm. I felt worlds better afterwards. I gots to stop this.
So, i rested a bit...Toby passed out on the couch and was in the fetal position. The rest of us were just relaxing, playing pool, and just chilling. We had to be at the government building at 8pm for fireworks. So, Jolleen, John, and I headed over there on motorbike taxis and Rumi and Yumi took a motorized richshaw since they were wearing Yukatas. It was so crowded. We couldn't even make it the whole way on the taxis. we had to get off an walk. So we did that. We met up with Robert at the gate and waited for the rest of the gang. The fireworks display was really good. I got some video. John mentioned that we should be watching this to the sounds of The Scorpions "Rock You Like a Hurricane". That gave me a good thought....
After the fireworks were over John, Jolleen, Yumi, Rumi, and I went over to Rumi and Yumi's place so they could change, then we went to 1+1 so I could get some contact solution. Apparently supermarkets in China don't sell it. You have to get it from a place that sells glasses and contacts. Yumi happened to have an extra bottle, so I got one. We got to John's place where we were gonna watch a movie. I asked the girls if they liked horror movies and they all said, "Yes". Ok....so we popped in Dead Alive. giggle. The first scene Rumi and Yumi freaked when they lop the hand of the guy and then his other arm because he was bitten by the zombie monkey.
They spent about 3/4ths of the movie behind pillows. It was hilarious. I asked many times if they wanted to watching something else, "No, this is fine. :D" Ok.
I love so many scenes in that movie...."I kickass for the Lord!!!" The kung fu priest rules! And the infamous lawnmowing scene. Hilarious. "Party's over."
After the movie we all headed home. I need sleep. Goodnite all.

Posted by Phil at 11:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

After the late nite last nite I was hoping to sleep in for a bit. But no. There are these jerks doing construction work on the bottom part of the house. Not for us...but for a business thats going in down there. And of course, since Chinese construction and planning is sooo terrible, I can hear everything they are doing. So, about 8AM I am scared out of bed by a drill that can be heard throughout the house, but it is being drilled right underneath my bed and so I freaked out like it was coming thru the wall to get me. "Coming for the gweilo!"
Then I try to go back to sleep, but I get the occasional wake up by these drills. Also, I am in the sleep state where you do stuff you can't really control...like itching mosquito bites. Finally I am able to wake up enuff to put some stuff on it.
After I got up, pretty much all I have been doing was DVD work. I got alot accomplished...I think it looks pretty professional right now. I need to see it once its complete though. To see if I am right.
I went to Lion/Dragon Dance practice tonite. I had a good time. There were alot of people there. Everyone was preparing for the festival tomorrow. I just did my normal stuff. I had even more people staring at me. What the hell, how long are you gonna keep looking at me. I would think after a day or two the novelty would wear off. We had this meeting where I sat and the head coach talked to everyone for a bit. Then I got up and continued practicing. Then around 940PM, some of the students that have taken a liking to me were showing me a bit of the lion dance stuff. Picking the people up, sitting them on your head and swinging them around and having them stand on your thighs while you are in the horse stance. That was really fun. The headcoach was lauging and amazed that I was doing this already and he seemed to enjoy it. Great. After that I headed back here - it was 1015pm, I took a quick shower, hopped onto Peter's scooter, that he fixed, and went over to John's place and we hung out. Apparently, the scooter had an extra long wire for the blinker that was installed because the shop people fixed it and only had a long wire. So, this wire got tangled in the chain and popped it off. Peter fixed it. Toby, John, and I watched "BAADAASSSSS" the movie by Mario van Peebles showing the struggle his dad made to make, "Sweet Sweetback's Badaasss Song". It was a pretty good movie. The Detroit part ruled.
I'm am off to bed. I have a long day with the government at the Crysthanthemum festival tomorrow. Need to take lots of video and pictures.

Posted by Phil at 06:53 PM | Permalink

Today was a long day.

All my classes went well today. I had 6 classes. My 5 Primary and 1 Kindergarten. They all went pretty good. The last primary class I had was 3rd grade. I had an hour to kill before Kindergarten. This 3rd grade class was the winner of their Sports Day competition, so they were treated to have a party last period. So I was invited and I sat amongst the kids and hung out with them. It was very nice.
Now, when I got to kindergarten, I sent a child to the headmaster the first time ever. I was so happy. There is this new kindergarten kid that came in about a week or two ago. I think I mentioned him before, he screamed in the Bizarro-Phil's ear on Wednesday making Bizaro-Phil cry. He was acting up alot and he seemed to be harassing one of the girls Mickey, so the next time he did it, she grabbed his fingers and twisted them making him cry. After about 30 seconds of whimpering he let out this pissed off howl at Mickey and screeched at her. "That's it. I ain't dealing with you anymore today!" I grabbed him threw him over my shoulder's and walked him down the hallway. I had Owen take him to the Headmaster. I went back to do the Hokey Pokey with the kids.
About the part where you put your whole self in, Owen, the Psycho, and the Headmaster arrived. The Psycho was crying and the Headmaster said something to Mickey...who just listened with her head down. But she didn't whimper at all. I was on Mickey's side. I wanted to smack this Psycho. I told Owen to tell her that ever since he showed up, he has been a disturbance. I doubt it will do anything.
From there, I met up with Peter. We were gonna go to Wooden Chair for dinner, but plans changed. We headed back here because his lady friend was coming over. I did some stuff for a bit then headed out on Peter's scooter to Mandarin Lessons. I grabbed some potstickers on the way.
I got to the lessons and they were good.
After that ended at 9pm, we were planning on heading to the Beer Gardens with the group. Salena wanted to ride the scooter before we left, so I turned it on and tried to show her, but as I turned left, the axle or gear broke. WTF! Ever since Peter got this thing, its been nothing but trouble. Ugh. So I put it in the office overnite.
We then started to head out, but Clyde was having another bday party. So, we stopped by. We hung out there for about 20 minutes then Toby, John, Sean, Robert (new British guy), and I headed out to the Gardens.
There were a bunch of tents set up. Special for the festivities this weekend. We were there for about 15 minutes when Yumi, Rumi, and Suzannah showed up with a couple other friends. Then John called Jolleen and she said she was coming over with about 5 people and some other people showed up too. So we had about 20-25 people. It was fun. Only about 10 of us headed out to Cowboy though.
But before we left to go to Cowboy, I had to deal with Toby knocking the US out of the blue so I told him to shut it. I tried to explain to him that both canidates for president would send the country in horrible directions. Bush is a terrible money hungry leader and Kerry would not be able to take control of anything leaving us open for more hell. He would not be able to reverse any of what Bush has done. So, how do you choose. John mentioned he would rather have a Dipshit in office than the Anti-Christ. Then I said, Bush isn't the Anti-Christ because the "Beast shall come in the form of a well respected man..." and Bush is not well respected. And I expect that most people at home who are reading this totally disagree with me as well but "Bush vs Kerry"...they are both horrible choices - none is the lesser evil. Toby added more of his assinign opinion and started talking about how the US is terrible and how the whole world is happy about our soldiers being killed. He was pissing me off. And he just didn't stop. And it was impossible to reason with him. Suzannah was able to stop him by singing him some stupid british song. Ugh.
So we went dancing. On the way there, someting happened to make me laugh really hard. First, for some reason, Sean, who wasn't 100% asked his chinese friend Miguel how to ride his motorcycle. Miguel showed him and Sean got on and took off. We were on the sidewalk. Toby, for some stupid reason decided to hold on to the back of the bike and run with it. So, Toby was running as fast as he could and then Sean came to a driveway and the sidewalk dipped down to meet the driveway and Toby just took a spill and rolled the whole width of the driveway...it was only about 6 feet. I couldn't stop laughing. I mean, you can't help laughing at something like that...we all were. If he hurt himself, which he didn't, he deserved it. So Sean kept speeding off down the sidewalk. We helped Toby up and he was all right.
We continued on our trek to the Cowboy bar. We got closer, and I mentioned, where is Sean. Where did he ride off to. And right after I finished saying that, he sped by on the road. Oh, there he is. As we turned the corner and got close to the entrance, Sean showed up. He was on the street and he tried to manuver the motorcycle onto the sidewalk so he could park it, but he gave it a bit too much gas and he lost control, went about 7 feet really quickly, and tipped the bike over. I saw this and ran over to him, when I got there he was already up and picking the bike up, he was checking the van that was inches in front of him and the bike. There was no damage. The only thing suffered was a scrapped knee. His ego didn't suffer either becuase I dont think he was in the capacity for it to suffer. I don't think I could ever forget those two images of Toby taking a spill and Sean taking a spill. British people need to learn balance. So, we entered the retchedness that is Cowboy.
It was fun eventhough the music sucked. Some chinese "artist" took the riff from "7 Nation Army" by the White Stripes and turned it into a terrbile chinese dance song. It was hilarious but it was cool to have a taste of Detroit in China. They also played this weird YMCA remix. IT was the song, but they sped up the vocal track so it sounded like chipmunks. Creepy. Then I ended up walking home. It was an overall long but good day.

Posted by Phil at 07:01 PM | Permalink

Much to my surprise and slight irritation, when I arrived at Lion/Dragon dancing practice, there was a TV News crew. Apparently they didn't know if I was gonna show up tonite, but when I did they hurried their patoots to try and come up with a flash of the minute expose on a gweilo learning gung fu in China. Ugh. Don't isolate me from my fellow practitioners more than I am now. Damnit. The head coach was enthusiastic about doing this and so was his wife. I am thinking that they orchestrated this in some way to get them good publicity and when the TV people saw me they jumped all over me asking me to do this and that and answer questions. I was aware that this would help the school however I wasn't too happy that I just found out about it and was expected to do it. They do stupid shit like that over hear in China because they don't seem to care about others' feelings and they have no common courtesy or sense.
Since I knew that refusing to do any of this would make the headcoach lose face in front of the camera/news people and that I didnt want to incur any of his wrath over it later. I had to be a monkey for the nite and play by chinese rules since I want to learn alot of stuff from the coach and the coach's teacher. Inconsiderate jerks.
I am not trying to say I was upset about doing this, in fact I enjoyed it. It was just frustrating and embarrassing for it to be sprung on me with everyone just staring. Plus, I didn't feel prepared...I was worried I may pull another muscle and do more damage. It turned out though that by the time I got to practice, all I had to do was stretch out and most of the pain was gone. I think I just overexerted them. They were working fine tonite. I wasn't in the frame of mind either, so I had to get into that. When it was all over and done with I required that they send me a copy.
What they videotaped...
Me riding the bike into the warehouse and parking it and locking it up...(the locking part confused me...why do you need that?) Then they had the head coach pretend he was teaching someone something and they had me walk up to him...interupting him and saying hello. (great, they have video of the white american man being arrogant and interupting the teacher - thanks) From there i went and changed my clothes. Then I went to stretch out and they videotaped me doing various stretches. (I wanted to be like Jay and say, "....talking about the laziest men on Mars. GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE! I'M GONNA BE DROWNIN' THAT THING IN BEER IF YOU DON'T STOP IT!") The headcoach came over to practice Hong Quan with me and the little kicking exercise that he showed me. He made me do stuff like going from Horse stance into front stance and shifting the power. Then he had me go to a wider area and we both did Hong Quan at the same time. After this they allowed me to get some water and then come back. This is where they interveiwed me. They asked me a bunch of questions (not in the order they asked them, i just remember these. Oh, and I answered them truthfully)
1. When/How did you learn chinese gung fu?
2. What do you find difficult about chinese gung fu?
3. What do you think of the Head Coach? - He's a retard. (just kidding..I didnt say that)
4. What do you think of Xiaolan? - I hated it until I found this group practicing. I mean, I come to China and there is no gung fu. Whats wrong with that picture? Now that I found this group, I like Xiaolan.
5. What do you think of the Xiaolan People? - Most of the Xiaolanese are ok. I have had some trouble with a few. I got yelled at a couple times, "Gweilo!" and people just stare constantly. Its very frustrating.
6. Do you want to teach when you go home? - Eventually. I don't want America being the fattest country in the world anymore.
7. Were you surprised to see these people lion dancing on these tall posts? -No. (this made them gasp) Lady, I have seen humans accomplish feats of greater difficulty...this is no surprise. Its awesome and amazing. But not surprising. I want to do it.
8. How do you communicate with the head coach? -Lots of body language and watching.
Those were pretty much the questions. I wonder how they will edit it together. They will prolly make it look like I am knocking America and calling China amazing.
From there, the head coach had me practice with the Dragon Head. He taught me something completely new while I was watching him and then doing it. It was all caught on tape. I wonder how much of a fool i looked like.
Well, that pretty much ended what I was doing on video. I gave my email addy to the people and I got their email addy and fone# so I can pester them for a tape. I then proceeded to practice on my own for the rest of the nite. The headcoach went off to do something with the camera people.
I went into the office to grab my stuff to leave and the old guy was sittin there with two of the co-coaches chatting. They had me sit down and rest. They tried a bit to chat with me about differnt styles I have looked at. From what I understood, I think the old guy wants to teach me some things. I am up for it. :D
They started talking about the staff and I tried to tell them that it was my favourite weapon to work with. So, from there, they ran and grabbed the special staff. This thing was 10 feet long. The old guy was teaching me the intro to a form that he knows. Very cool.
After we put the staff away the old guy left. I was about to leave when one of the younger students stopped me and basically made me wait. He was trying to say that the Head Coach would be back. he wanted me to wait. Thats what I got out of it.
While waiting, I was practicing some Shorinji Kempo joint locks on this kid and the other students were laffing cause I was throwin him around like a sack of potatoes. He would then try to throw me and then he would lose his balance and fall over because he was doing his San Da/Chin-ah techniques wrong. He then grabbed some practice lion heads and gave me one. So I got to play around with the lion heads. It was kool. I was trying to imitate what I had been seeing and then I added my own Phil-style of dance to it which made the other students laff. It was a good nite.
Finally, the head coach showed up with the camera crew again. They were gonna video tape some of the San Da troop that was there tonite breaking some boards and bricks. I think they were expecting me to act surprised by seeing this people break cheap pine boards. Nope. I aint impressed with stupid tricks anymore.
Finally, about 1130 we all left. Then the head coach told me to follow a couple people to that place we went to dinner last week. There was about 8 of us. We just had some drinks and some good food. But then the Head coach started yelling at the scrawny little kid, Fei Lo. I dunno what about, but i think it was his son. The kid started crying. You don't make him cry in front of a group, you're gonna give him a complex. After that killing of a great mood I headed home about 1230am.
I expect to hear from Donnie Yen in about 2-3 weeks. I will get the phone call and he will want me to be in his next movie. I have a friend in Hong Kong who knows his sister. Sweet.

The rest of the day. Eh, it was ok. I got up later because I didnt have to teach until 10am. Skipped the gym cause I didnt want to push to hard. My 3rd graders today were bad because Lucy was in Shenzhen today. 5th grade went well. I did some more work on the DVD i am working on. Kindergarten went well. I tried to get the bike brake fixed but the guy was out to dinner. That's pretty much it.

Posted by Phil at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today was ok. It also strengthened my hatred of my 6th grade classes today. May decided not to attend my second one and the first one, it wouldn't have mattered if she was there or not because she didn't offer any help then either. These kids just don't pay attention and do whatever they want. I dislike the first class more because they just don't do anything whereas the second class, they are roudy and loud, but at least they participate in some of the lesson. The only reason they are like this is because I don't speak Guangdongwha enough to yell at them and make them scared. If I try anything in english they just repeat it back.
During lunch I was so tired from the night before I didn't go to the gym. I came back here and slept for an hour hoping it would help my muscles. It did a bit. I also finished the first disc of the wedding DVD I am working on. I headed back to class, which was with my 6th graders that I already talked about.
There was one good point in the story. My face became the color of a tomato. I blushed pretty badly and couldn't stop giggling when I tried to speak to the students. I was going around students trying to get them to practice, "How's it going?" Asking them and they were responding. I came to this one girl, one of the actually good students in the class. She sits with her best friend, I also see them walking around together and looking at me when my head is turned. As soon as I look at them, they shy away, giggle, and then run. Well, today, I asked, "How's it going?" And she didn't say anything. But she then pointed at something in her book. On the lesson page was written, "loveing you". And I saw this...and i just turned red and couldn't stop turning red. All the kids started laughing and saying, "hong sic" (red color). I tried to look serious to try to stop the blushing but I couldn't and I just started giggling again. And some of the kids were laughing at the girl too, but not really. It also seemed that everytime I looked over there, I would blush and start giggling. I couldn't help it. The kids laughed hard. Oh well.
I hope she knows it could never work out between us. I mean...she's in 6th grade...and I am in......um...17th grade. Thats alot of grades. Besides being illegal, there is too much of a generation gap. :D
After school was done I had kindergarten. It was the day of the "10 Kid Spaz Class". Today wasn't too bad. I started trying to get them to understand "Simon Says..."...or in this case, "Phil Says...". I started using the gung fu I know during Simon Says. Its hilarious. They love it. How messed up is that, a white person teaching gung fu to chinese. I think that is very sad. Thanks to the party thats what it has come down to. The only really bad thing was one of the spazzes screamed as loud as he could into another spazz's ear. It made the other spaze cry and I yelled at the spazz that screamed.
After class was over I grabbed the bicycle to head home. As I was saying goodbye to other children and about to walk thru the gate, a mother was coming thru the gate with her 3 year old daughter. The daughter saw me and froze. Her lower lip started to tremble, I tried to walk thru the gate which brought me closer to her. She screamed lowed and hid behind her mother's legs. Then she started to bawl. She just started crying and wouldn't stop. I scared her. I hate making babies cry. I backed up to allow them to walk thru. By this time the mom and her daughter in her arms and the kid was crying. I went thru the gate and rode home.
On the way home, the bicycle brake for the front tire snapped. So, I need to get that fixed. Got home and I was planning on going to practice, but my legs still felt bad, so i stayed home and watch 1-Hour Photo. It was pretty good. I felt that the situation presented in the movie was much more creepy than the acting by Robin Williams. I mean, he was good. He just didn't make me cringe enuff.
I then did some more DVD work. Now I finished writing this and I am heading to bed.
Sleep well all.

Posted by Phil at 03:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

However, today was pretty much a very good day until nighttime came along and thats where the bittersweet comes from. It was overcast yesterday and it hasn't rained in 2 months. So I am pretty much a fool for leaving my clothes on the clothesline to dry over nite. It rained and my stuff outside got all wet..including my gym clothes and a bath towel. I wasn't able to go to the gym because of it.
It was also surprisingly chilly. It seems to be around 17-18 degrees celsius. It was sort of a rude awakening but not too bad, since I am from Michigan.
I had class. Nothing spectacular happened, but it was fun. It makes me laugh...the chinese here in the south are panzies when it comes to cold weather. I am standing there teaching in a T-shirt and all the students are wearing winter coats and gloves. Its just a funny image. Time came for lunch and I headed home and did a bit of DVD work and grabbed a bite to eat. I then headed back to school on the bicycle.
6th grade class today went well. Nothing horrible to report. After the primary school finished, I biked home to take care of some things then headed out to kindergarten class. I was trying to teach the kids, DVD/CD/MP3. I figured they would know most of that already since they love DVDs and VCDs in this town. It was adorable to hear these 4-5 year olds say, "MP-3". So cute.
After that, I rode home and did some more stuff until I planned to head out to Lion/Dragon Dance practice. About 15 minutes later, John showed up and we played a round of pool. After that I hauled my booty over to practice. Its kinda sad that I was on a bike and I was passing people on motorbikes and scooters. I got to practice and started stretching.
This is where the story gets bittersweet. I was practicing what I have been taught by the head coach. Just practicing it n stuff. He came over and showed me some more. I picked it up almost immediately. I also noticed this really old guy walking around trying to look like he was watching everyone, but I saw him looking at me alot. I was noticing him as the head coach was instructing me on the new stuff. The old guy headed into the bathroom. As the head coach was watching me do some of the new stuff, the old guy came out and then started chatting to the headcoach about stuff. It was pretty obvious he was talking about me. I hope it was good.
Later on in the night, I got to control the dragon head. That thing is heavy. But I think I am getting the hang of it. After I sat down, the girl that translates for me asked me if I could join them in a Dragon Dance on Sunday morning at 9am. I was like sweet. But I have to work. Wait, this is for a cultural festival of sorts, and the government invited me to this, so I may not be working. Sweet. I may be able to join. I have to find out for sure though. I also asked who that really old guy was. I had a thought and the girl confirmed it. The really old guy was the head coach's teacher. I hope I don't offend him with my whiteness.
While I was sitting there trying to rest after something I will talk about in a bit, the old guy was walking by. He noticed me, stopped and smiled big and gave me a thumbs up. It was pretty kool.
So, why was I sitting there for awhile resting? Well, after I learned the new form stuff, I proceeded to practicing on the kicking exercise that the head coach gave me. It entails doing a leg sweep followed by a spinning kick to the head type deal and then into some stances. Well, me being an idiot, I forgot to stretch out one muscle group. Basically, I forgot to stretch out the butt/hip muscles. So, as I compressed to do the sweep and turn, I pulled a muscle in my butt. Its on the left side. Its that muscle in the divot of your butt cheeks, the outer part of your butt. I didnt want to damage it more so I had to sit out. Apparently, when you cross your legs, you use this muscle alot. I learned that. ouch. So, no gym for me tomorrow. I am just gonna relax it during lunch, go to practice at nite and take it easy.
As I was leaving practice I was saying goodbye to people. I went and said good-bye to the real old guy. I guess I surprised him because he jump back a bit when I walked up to him. He then got this huge rotted tooth smile and slapped his hands on both my shoulders and then made a hand motion to say, "Very broad shoulders, very strong", he then made a stance that I was working on earlier and he said, Han Hou! (Very Good!) and he seemed happy. I think I can safely assume that what he was saying to the head coach earlier was good.
I rode the bike home slowly not to aggravate the muscle. I got home and finished up some DVD work.
It was a good day mostly. I hope this pulled muscle won't keep me out for too long. I hope it heals fast. Now I am off to bed.

Posted by Phil at 09:18 AM | Permalink

Got to relax today. Went to the gym. Etc. Got paid. sweet. However, there was almost trouble with Bond. They almost tried to screw me out of money since I missed classes on Sunday cause I was in Macao. They wanted to make sure I needed to go sunday or else they would withhold money from me. Don't try to screw me anymore Bond. I will go nuts on you.

Posted by Phil at 07:45 AM | Permalink

I had to go to Macao with John today to leave and re-enter China because my VISA is 30 days stay. Retards. US and China relations...I HATE YOU! Wasting my money like that.. That's not right!
I don't really like Macao that much...I realized that today.
It was a gorgeous day. Its been chilly all week and then all of a sudden they day we go to Macao, its hot. Ugh. But it was beautiful. No clouds. The sun on the water. Very pretty. I took lots of fotos. I will post them soon. We just walked around.
We went to the Caloane Village. Since the public transportation is totally confusing in this city, I made a mistake and cause John and I to get off the bus at the wrong place. We eventually grabbed a taxi and it took us to the destination. It was about 4 miles away. Yeah. I made a mistake. Friggin Macao bus system.
We got to the village and we went into the catholic church and saw the chinese version of the Virgin Mary and Jesus. I got to scan that in. Its awesome. Walked around the village. Visited a couple temples and then we happened upon a grave yard. So we went around and looked at it. It was very interesting. We stopped at a resturant in the village to grab a cold drink and it took the lady about 15-20 minutes to get us a couple shakes. Freaks.
We then hopped a bus to walking street. Walked around. It was Police day. They had a bunch of people at stands and it was really crowded.
Speaking of crowded, the lines at the borders were packed. John never saw it so busy. Its prolly because the Macao Grand Prix is next weekend.
The Brazil resturant was closed. I did find a store sign with my chinese name, "Fei Long" (flying dragon). It was the Flying Dragon Overseas Trading Company. Gots me a foto. John went and bought some Tiger Balm (medicine for Mosquito bites - illegal in the US).
We tried to catch a cab back to the barrier and we couldn't snag one. So we went to a casino waiting line and waited about 30 minutes to get one. I hate this city. We were rushing against the clock to get thru the borders.
We got into Zhuhai around 745pm and got our bus tickets for 830pm. We then went into the local mall and bought some DVDs. I picked up:
1. Team America - awesome movie. I recommend you all to see it.
2. One Hour Photo - it was ok. I felt it didnt' live up to its potential
3. Iron Maiden "Rock in Rio" - all I have to say, is hardcore.
4. Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - great movie
5. Supersize Me - a requisite for all Americans
6. A chinese movie where they mix profesional wrestling with a resturant business. Very funny.
7. A chinese movie that sux. The only saving grace is Donnie Yen and Jackie Chan (who's in it for a couple minutes). It is crap. Oh...it stars Jackie Chan's son. Not as skilled as his father.

We got home and I went to bed. I was tired.

Posted by Phil at 07:42 AM | Permalink

I had a pretty relaxing day. Just hung out and did some things. Worked on the DVD. I was very lethargic today. I don't know why. Still a bit sore from the Hong Quan practice.

Posted by Phil at 07:11 AM | Permalink

Went to the Beer Gardens tonite. I got some chinese to say Cat Piss and Cat Sex instead of CHeers...it ruled. Very funny. They deserved it.

Yeah. Tonite was fun. First off, classes went ok. Nothing spectacular happened. After kindergarten I headed home. I then had to meet my school for a dinner put on by a couple of the parents of students. It was sports day today and they were trying to bribe the school. Friggin' chinese. But hey, I got a great free meal out of it. And of course, the chinese like to drink. So I had this great meal and I told people that I had to leave @ 730pm for Mandarin lessons at Bond. But NOO!! The chinese wouldn't let me leave without making me do about 5 shots of Bei-Ju with them. Damnit! I dont want to be drunk during my lesson.(it actually made the lessons very funny, cause I wouldnt stop asking questions) I said goodbye to my bosses in Gunagdonghua. That big fat guy that I told you about from Teacher's Day showed up as well. I was surprised. So, he made me do a shot with him as well. One guy decided to make me his brother. Great.
From there I bolted over to the Xiaolan Office for lessons. It was just John, Toby, and me. It was cool. I was a little tipsy from the Bei-Ju. I warned everyone that it was Chinese Culture that made me late and drunk. However, Lynn was just going over the packet we were given when I showed up back in August with words n phrases. She was giving us the proper tones and answering questions. But she wouldnt tell us any curse words so I had to give the ones I knew. She threw chalk at me. I guess I was being a bad student, but I wasn't completely all there....damn chinese. I also answered some questions that she was unable to. That Street Chinese book Chad gave me has taught me alot. It also taught me the dirty words. I am taking that book to class next friday.
After class was over I was heading gonna head out. John and Toby said to give them a call about 10pm to find out what we are doing. After I left the Xiaolan Office, I stopped by one of the classrooms. Clyde was celebrating the birthday of one of his students. They had cake and everyting. Selena, Lynn, and I stopped by. I used the chinese I knew, and the people all there understood and said good. Then I got mad with Lynn because she said I was terrible with chinese. They understood. That's all that matters. Ugh. She then laughed and said, "I am just trying to push you." Damn. From there I hopped home.
Rumi and Yumi showed up around 10pm and then we took taxis over to the Beer Gardens to meet up with John and Toby. It was just the five of us hanging out at the gardens. Just chatting. Somewhere around 12/1230, John and I went to the bathroom. Unfortunately I made the mistake of saying something in chinese and the chinese guy in the bathroom with us freaked out and started chatting us up. And following us around...with his pants unbuttoned and unzipped. So, we sat back down. Then the inevitable happened. That guy from the bathroom showed up with his posse and wanted to drink with us. And since we couldn't be rude, we had to stay. So there was alot of drunken english and chinese speaking. These guys were beginning to make me upset. They kept wanted me to drink and were being very forceful about it, but if I drank much anymore I would get sick. They couldn't understand that. So...that was the last straw. I drank a bunch of tea to flush my system a bit. Then I poored one more glass. I stood up and toasted everyone. However, instead of saying Gambei or Cheers, I said, "Cat Sex". All the chinese repeated happily, "Cat Sex!" AIYA! At this point, John laughed his ass off and I proceeded to squirt beer through my nose and almost choke on the alcohol. Serves you right.
It was getting late. it was around 3am and we needed to leave. The chinese were getting ready to leave. But a couple of the guys didn't want us to go so they just kept talking to us n stuff. Then a worker came over to say something or do something and one of the chinese guys at our table threw a bottle at his feet and yelled at him. Great way to kill the mood, jackass. After that, we bolted. As we were leaving though, crossing the street, one of the guys ran up to Rumi and John and babled for about 15 minutes. I have no clue what was going on. After that, I stumbled home. That walk never seemed longer.

CRAP!!! I almost forgot! I have to take care of my VISA on the 14th. Well, it will get me outta classes on Sunday. I need to exit every 30 days and come back in. It makes no friggin sense to me as why I have to do that. I have to go to either Macao or Hong Kong...and Macao is much cheaper to go to.

Posted by Phil at 07:37 AM | Permalink

Well, now that you ask, Yes. I am happy right now. Finding this Gung Fu / Lion & Dragon Dancing has really raised up my spirits. Its great to just work hard and practice form work and sweat for 2 hours. I had an email conversation with Hartmut, my Deutsch Instructor from UM. He's hardcore. I also had an email conversation with Sensei Gary Dolce, my Shorinji Kempo teacher, who is equally hardcore. In both of our conversations, they mentioned that by putting myself on as much as an equal level with a group of chinese will help. For example, not being their teacher, or a tourist, but as a participant in a group learning things together. And I knew it would work, i just needed to find something, and now that I have this Lion/Dragon Dancing thing going on, I am fit as a fiddle. I also start Mandarin Lessons this friday. Lynn will be my instructor. BOND finally got off their asses and set up these lessons. Thats another good thing. Also...great news:

***Taiji Sifu Gabriel Chin's article "Can We Tell the Truth" has been published unchanged and complete. This long time goal was made a reality by Jess O'Brien in his book "Nie Jia Quan". Also included in the book is a lengthy interview with him. (and a bunch of fotos that I scanned and sent to him...Chad and I by the CUBE with Gabe may show up in some of the fotos....go check it out) So what are you waiting for? Go out and buy this book! There are many interviews with other masters from all over including Tim Cartmel. No gong fu library is complete without it!***
As some of you may know, Gabriel Chin is the ancient Chinese man that taught me Taiji & Qi Gong for the past....almost 4 years. He is amazing man who has lived thru amazing and dreadful times...and he has great stories. My favourite is how he got thrown into Taiwanese prison. Anywho...go out to Border's and buy it. It should be really good.

On with my day....
Well, it started out great because today is my day where I dont start classes till 10AM. It was great. I got to sleep in till 9AM. I was so tired from the nite before. That practice tired me out. My thighs are still sore from all the horse stances that I have been doing. You lose alot when not doing much stuff for 2 months. I have also been still going to the gym which has been aiding in my fatigue...as well as the kids. :D But its a good kind of fatigue.
The past two daze have been really hot and humid...man, it was cooling down, then it got all hot again. Sounds like Michigan. I got to class and sat under the ceiling fan for about 10 minutes to kool down and stop sweating.
I walk into my 3rd grade class and there is a ruckus. I go over to the otherside of the room really quickly and there are about 4-5 kids in a rumble. It turned out that one of the fat kids and the kid with cauliflowered ears were in fight and 2-3 kids were trying to hold back the fat kid from attacking the cauliflowered ears kid. While I was seperating them and trying to figure out what was going on. Kids were trying to tell me what was going on, but I can't understand these godless little meat-sacks.
So, while I was trying to take everything in, the two kids proceeded to try and throw each others books and bags and their contents everywhere and then the fat kid got an evil eye for the cauliflowered ear kid again and went on the offensive, this is where I stepped in. I grabbed the fat kid and threw him into the chair, he tried to get up and kick the other kid, but I stopped that by using the pressure points just above his collarbones. That kept him in his chair. Lucy, the teacher/enforcer of the class was pretty much clueless as to what was going on. She walked in after me and was just walking around mindless. After I had the fat kid pinned in the chair, thats when she started giving out authority. She took the fat kid downstairs and I proceeded to look at all the kids. I thought they would be stunned, but they were ready to get on with the lesson...so, I guess this sort of thing happens alot? The cauliflowered ear kid was still in the class and he seemed a little shaken up, but he was ok. Lucy came back and took him to the office as well. I guess they wanted to find out what happened. I don't know excatly what happened cause Lucy never told me.. I will find out tomorrow and let you know. But, what I think happened is this....
During the 10 minute break between classes, the cauliflowered ear kid may have said something to the fat kid which made him snap. I have watched the fat kid in class before...I think he may have some "issues". I don't want to make any rash judgements. But that's how I see it in my head. I will let you know tomorrow and see if I am right.
Getting on with it...the lesson, things went fine. The kids were kind of louder than usual. Then it was lunch time, so I headed to the gym. I made a quick stop at the sports shop where I bought the Taiji Sword and bought a couple of new gym shirts. I have been running thru all of mine quickly with this martial arts stuff at nite. So, I got a couple. The I need now is a new pair of work out pants. I got into the gym and I was still tired a bit from the nite before. My thighs, still sore. So i didnt do any bike or martial arts. And since it was humid today, my t-shirt that I put back on still had sweat marks on it from when I arrived. You know, there is nothing like stepping out of a shower and into a locker room with ceiling fans on full speed and then putting on a sweaty t-shirt. ITS AWESOME!! I headed out and grabbed some awesome potstickers from the place next door that I love. Also some pearl milk tea. MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmm.......yummy.
I got back to school and I had 10 minutes before class. My day classes went fine excpet my 3rd lesson was canceled because they are having some sports day thing today and tomorrow. It ended up that half of my class was missing. Ivy decided to take over. While she was talking to the class about something, I was motioning to a boy by the window to throw a water balloon onto the students below. But he was too much of a panzy to do it. He hid it in his desk and I pestered him by Ivy's back to throw it. "Throw it!"...jerking my head in the direction of the window and wall. I kept doing it and staring him down, this was making a couple other kids who knew what was going on laugh out loud and clap. When this happened, Ivy turned to look at me. I was sitting there statuesque. Perfect example of gentleman-hood. When she turned back to the class, I returned to trying to convince the boy to throw the waterballoon. "Throw it!!! You little punk! Don't be a sissy!" Ivy would turn her head at me, and I was perfect as usual. I then said my goodbyes and tried to get the kid to throw it, but he wouldn't. What a punk.
Since my class was canceled I ran over to the drugstore to get some medicine/cream for these damn mosquito bites. These little pests have a hide-out in my room. I kill one, and another shows up 5 minutes later. Its bizarre. Its like "The Conservation of Mosquitos" in my room. So, I have a bunch of bites all over my legs and arms. And of course, since I haven't dealt with many mosquitos in many years, I have been itching alot as well. Which is bad. This oil stuff seems to work. It stops the itchy feeling.
After the drugstore I hopped a taxi to my kindergarten class. I had 30+ kids today and they were pretty good. Loud...but good. Its hard to keep the attention of 30+ kids when you are trying to teach something to them thru competition. Owen also brought gifts.
1. A care-package from my boy, Tony, in AA. He sent me a book and a DVD. So nice of him.
2. An invitation to some government cultural thing on Nov 21st. I am gonna go...who knows, maybe the Lion/Dragon troop is going to perform...who knows, maybe I will be in the show.
Came back here for a bit to do some stuff before shuffling off to practice. I got to practice, stretched, and started working out in my little corner. Just doing the forms the coach showed me and working on some other stuff from home. The coach showed up and showed me some more stuff. I was practicing that mostly until the girl that does some of the English interpretting for me came and grabbed me and took me to the group that was doing the dragon dancing. They wanted me to try out the head. Now, Looking at this, you don't think it was be heavy...this head was, and you have to whip it around..its tuff. i don't know the amount of weight the head is, but its at the end of the stick, so, moment of inertia plays the enemy here. After I watched them do it once, I tried. They then tried to show me the proper areas and how to old it. I got it down after a couple tries and I was whipping htat thing around, but it was really tuff. Fun but tuff.
I then went back to practice my form work some more. I then started working with a couple other guys. They were showing me some kicks and then we started screwing around. He showed me something which caused me to bust out the Capoiera which made them laugh but then I went into some break dance moves and their jaws dropped. I proceeded to teach about 5 chinese guys the basic 6-step do break dancing. It was highlarious. Time was up and I headed home.
Now I sit here at the computer typing in this journal entry after throwing my workout clothes in the wash and taking a well-needed shower....that warehouse is dirty.
Well, I gots to go. Its late.
Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 11:08 PM | Permalink

I will type up more on this tomorrow as I am not in the best sahape to expalin it.
Ok. otoodles my nizzles.
-me

Ok. So I am typing this a day later. But I will type it as if I typed it last nite...without the drunkness.....
I just got back from a late nite dinner with the older crew of the Lion and Dragon Dance Troup. I think most of these guys were doing the Dragon. These are the guys that I think do the actual performances. I don't think any of the Lion Dancers are here. Well, none of the guys that do the pedistal lion dancing.
What happened was this. I went to practice this evening and worked my patoot off with the new forms and stuff the head coach showed me. I was drenched in sweat. Thats a good thing. As I was about to head out, the head coach called me and made a motion for eating. Then he motioned that a bunch of people were going out to eat. So i was like...sweet. They must really think I am stupid because it took about 10 people to keep telling me and motioning me to follow this one person. :D Just teasing. They were just trying to be helpful. So i followed this guy. We were on bikes and then some people on motorbikes caught up with us. I followed these people thru back streets and alleys. I had no clue where I was.
We got to this clearing and there was a resutrant. We got some tables together and sat around. About 20 of us were there. We all sat around chatting. Well, they all chatted and I sat there quietly and I really only spoke when the girl with english spoke to me. There was some funny things. I started singing, "Siu Lam Gung Fu Seng" and they loved it. All of us were older folks except for the head coach's son. He is about 9 and he is like, super skinny. I mean, he's skinny by chinese standards...very skinny. So, what do you think they call him? Fei Lo (Fat Man). He would go get the beer. He would run into the shop and come running out holding 2 bottles of beer bigger than his head. It was very humorus. I tried to explain to the girl that in the States, if you are under 18, its illegal to serve alcohol and illegal to drink under 21. Her eyes widened and she was surprised. That's freedom for you.
So, after we hung out for awhile and ate and drank, they asked if I knew how to get home. Nope. Not at all. I told them where I lived and they told me to follow so and so home. I got my bearings and then I was all good to ride home myself.
Riding a bike while tipsy is very interesting. You ride like you walk. Awkward and stumbly. I made it home safely and went to bed. Ahhh. What a nice nite.

As for the rest of my day, things went fine. Nothing huge to report.

Posted by Phil at 11:49 PM | Permalink

I finally found gung fu in China! I went back to the warehouse where they practice Lion & Dragon Dancing. I arrived at 8pm when its supposed to start, but apparently thats when they open up the doors. About 15-20 minutes later the coach arrived. So, I spent about 15-20 minutes watching people practice and a couple people trying to ask me if I was here to practice. They didnt know much English, but what they said was good, and I know they could have understood if they just tried. So i hung out for a few minutes and then the coach's wife took me over to the area where the new guys are practicing the Lion Dance basics. She said something to the basics coach, which I think was, "Take this round-eye and teach him the stretches and show him some San Da". Why she said San Da in there and why he kept saying it as well elludes me since there was no practice throughout the whole night in San Da...thankfully because San Da is crap. "Lessons in brutality" I call it.
But anyway, this guy took me over to the stretching area and kept talking to me in Guangdongwah. I kept telling him mmmsec-tang. (I don't understand). I motioned that I will watch him and he nodded. I know how frustrating this can be, so I tried my best to follow his lead. However, for some stupid reason, all chinese like to bounce in their stretches, even the Shaolin Monks. I have no clue as to why. Its one of the most dangerous things you can do when you stretch. I was stretching and he grabbed my body and tried to force me to bounce. Whenever he tried to bounce me in my stretch, i told him, "bu hou" (no good) or just "bu". I think this confused him. I tried to illustrate why..I stretched normally, said "hou". I stretched with the bounch and said "bu hou". He proceeded to say some more stuff in Cantonese to help my stretch, I was like, "mmmsec-tang". He got frustrated and grabbed the nearest kid and told him to help me stretch.
This kid, prolly freshman in highschool, tried to get me to bounce as well. "CUT IT OUT! DO YOU WANT ME TO TEAR MY MUSCLES!" I did the same to him and this prolly frustrated him as well. When you bounce in a stretch and feel pain, thats not a good thing. Retards. The way I see it, Bouncing in your stretch started as a bastardization of a real good method of stretch which is stretching to your limit, holding for about 3 seconds then releasing and then stretching just a bit beyond that last limit. You gain flexibility this way. However, you need time for the muscle to warm and loosen up, bouncing just forces it. Bouncing is based on the idea that muscles are like elastic. Not true.
Anywho, enuff of that. I prolly just made no sense and Kineseaology Majors will correct me. Bring it on, Gym Teachers!
Back to my story. This kid got frustrated and was able to snag a girl that knew some English. She asked, "Do you want to learn Chinese Gung Fu?" I said, "No. I want to continue. I have been learning for 4 years. I just want to watch." She said a couple things then left. This freshman kid then snagged another kid much younger than him. This kid was one of the Lion Head dancers. He was small and he was wearing the pants. A Lion Tail needs to be big to pick up the head person. You have got to see some of the stuff they are doing on pedestals. Its really kool. The freshman kid told the Lion Head kid that I don't speak any Guangdongwah, I caught that much, and the Lion Head kid said, "WHAAAA!"
So this younger kid starts doing some stretches with me...its the same damn stretch. And he tried to get me to do the bouncing. CUT IT OUT! Do something different. About this time, the head coach showed up to show me some form work, get me started on Hong Quan and the Hung Gar Hard Style Qi Gong.
I dunno if the head coach was just playing along and placating me or if he was really impressed with me. He would show me a move or part of a form and I would do it right away. He sure looked surprised. I told you guys I knew what I was doing. I aint just any old goofy looking roundeye. Thats what you get for assuming...You made an "ASS" out of "U" and...MING "The Merciless".
So, this head coach taught me all of the Hung Gar Qi Gong and he seemed impressed. I have done this one before. Started doing it the summer after I started martial arts and I also practiced a bit of it with the Shaolin Monk in Las Vegas. So, I just needed a refresher. He also had me practice a couple bits of what I think was Hong Quan. Again, he seemed surprised. I continued to practice this stuff for the whole time. He would watch and correct some things and showed me things. He didnt speak much, but he didnt have to. I just watched. And so did all the chinese kids in the Lion Dance Basics....they were all, "WHAAAAA!?!?! Gweilo doing gung fu. Amazing. I will not stop staring because I am close minded."
So, I practiced this for awhile. And at the end of class the head coach was trying to tell me something. I believe he was trying to tell me to, "Maintain class". So, I said, "Lei-ah", pointing at the floor of the gym. And he said, "Hai, hai." Yes Yes. He wants me to keep coming. I think he is impressed.
I am gonna go tomorrow nite if I am free and I am not in pain. My hands were sore from doing the bridge hand all nite during the Qi Gong. Oh well.
I hoped on the bike and headed home. I got back and now I am typing this up. Good nite all.

Oh, more about my day. My students today were terrible. I had my usual morning 4th graders that are usually really good, but today, no one was listening and I had to yell at them a couple times. It really pissed me off. I went to the gym and had a good work out. Then headed back to the school to catch a ride to the Primary School English Play competitions. There were some really kool plays and some disturbing plays, like the one about Angel Wings - this kid was getting picked on in the locker room because he had 2 long scars on his back, the teacher explained that this is where his Angel wings will come out of in the future. Um.....what? I guess you had to be there.
There was some kids dressed up as Gogo, the character used in the books to teach English. It was adorable. And a bunch of other stuff. There was, "Little Red Hood", not Little Red Riding Hood, but Little Red Hood. Go figure.
I took my camera to video tape our play, but I had to go to kindergarten before my students went on. Damn. Luckily the computer teacher was there to video tape it as well. I need ot borrow the tape.

Well good nite.

Posted by Phil at 03:12 PM | Permalink

Yuppers. Just got back from the Lion Dance practice/lessons that I discovered this weekend. I went with Salena (who's English is just a bit better than my Cantonese) to watch and discuss issues with the teacher. And of course she couldn't express herself to me and she couldn't understand me. We had to call Lynn constantly. I still dont really understand why she was sent to go with me. Don't get me wrong, Salena is great and efficient, its just hard to understand each other some times. According to this guy, I need to learn the whole Hong Quan Form before learning Lion Dancing....um excuse me... No I don't. I learned it once before - I just forgot it and I have done much more physcially demanding/intense forms since then as well. I know my stances after four years of constant martial arts practice. Yes, I do need a refresher on Hong Quan (red fist) but I can do that as I learn lion dancing. I am only gonna be in this scum-hole of a town for 4 more months, I want to learn as much as possible.
Its gonna be tough doing this though since no one there speaks English...well, most of the other students are middle and highschool so they know some english, but really don't. I had a pretty good conversation with the teacher's daughter. She could hold a basic conversation pretty well. I confused her a couple times.
Other than that, all I did today was go to the gym and clean up my room. I washed the floor with bleach water to remove dirt and germs from the destruction of bugs the night before. I aslo did some DVD work. Its coming along slowly, unfortunately. I need to get this done to start on another thing I want to do.
Good nite all.

Posted by Phil at 10:48 PM | Permalink

killing giant spiders that freak the crap out of you when you are typing on your computer. I was just sitting here looking at The Onion and giggling. Then i look up and see this giant spider just scury from behind my window blinds across the wall.
AAAAAAH! This thing was big.
I tried to throw a cup at it and hit it, but he was evading that and headed back to the drapes. So i pulled out my sword and started smacking the drapes. I knocked it down onto the sill apparently. I either wounded it or another jump out and ran across the wall. I proceeded to wack that one down from the wall but he was still going. I tried to stab it, but these damn flexible swords don't stab at all. So it scuried under my chair. I flipped it over and he was sitting underneath it and I wacked him.
I dunno if this thing is poisonous or not. But i dont want that thing crawling over my bed at nite. icky.

Posted by Phil at 03:00 AM | Permalink

Ok. Before you say that I shouldn't judge or I shouldn't talk trash...you don't know this guy. You would totally write about this if you met this guy. This boy has got a mouth on him. He is very inconsiderate and says some horrendous things. And it is not a cultural thing either. He offends and pisses of chinese as well.
1. He invites himself everywhere. Out of the two parties I have attended, none of us have invited him, but he sees the invites at English Corner and comes.
2. Makes as though he knows everything.
3. Touches inappropriately. "Phil, you have strong muscles...wow, let me feel." STOP IT!
4. Puts his nose in business that he shouldn't. I have heard multiple times, "Phil, I read your travel agency complaint letter." -Tony, why have you read it? Its not any of your business. Peter piped in, "Becuase he was in the Xiaolan Office when he shouldn't have been and reading things he shouldn't have been."
5. Sexually harasses women. He went up to Suzannah and said this, "Hi. I will take you out on a nice romantic dinner. Afterwards we will go to an expensive room alone." Suzannah was standing there with a dropped jaw. And he proceeded to say, "Can I touch you?" NO NO NO NO NO!
Sean talked to him today at English Corner and asked what he said to Suzannah, Tony told him. Sean said, "DUDE! You dont say that to women at all, Chinese or English or any nationality. Thats just not right." Tony's response was along the lines that since western women are sexually liberated and will sleep with anyone then all he has to do is ask and pay for the date. "Not just anyone, Dude. And certainly not you."
6. He has been harrassing Selena and I am pretty sure she has made it clear to him that she does not want his advances. And I got to see just how bad it was today at the Xiaolan Office. I also saw something at the Halloween Party. At the Party, he went up behind her and covered her eyes with his hands and said, "Guess who!?" Selena couldn't guess at first until she felt his face and glasses with her hands. When she realized, she screamed really loud. I laughed not thinking of it. Then it was put into perspective Sunday when I saw him at the office talking to her and trying to rub her shoulders while she was working. She was obviously irritated and I tried to help her out by asking her to come with me and Lynn to the Sports shop to check for Lion Head/Dancing info. She was busy doing some data entry, but I am sure she wanted to come. But the worst was when Tony piped in, "Oh, she is busy doing work, and I am working my magic." He turned to look at her, my jaw dropped and I looked at Lynn and she was laughing painfully, and then i caught a quick glimpse of Selena's eyes, "HELP ME!!!" She sounded like "The Fly" (awesome movie by the way) "HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!!!!"
After awhile, as Lynn and i left the sports shop with good news about possible lion dance instruction and gung fu instruction, Selena called and asked Lynn to meet up with her to go shopping. Her explanation... "I needed to get away!"

I will write more on his shenanigans when I hear of more.

Posted by Phil at 02:13 AM | Permalink

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&e=2&u=/nm/canada_usa_dc

Americans Flock to Canada's Immigration Web Site

Fri Nov 5, 2:22 PM ET

Oddly Enough - Reuters

By David Ljunggren

OTTAWA (Reuters) - The number of U.S. citizens visiting Canada's main immigration Web site has shot up six-fold as Americans flirt with the idea of abandoning their homeland after President Bush (news - web sites)'s election win this week.

"When we looked at the first day after the election, Nov. 3, our Web site hit a new high, almost double the previous record high," immigration ministry spokeswoman Maria Iadinardi said on Friday.

On an average day some 20,000 people in the United States log onto the Web site, www.cic.gc.ca -- a figure which rocketed to 115,016 on Wednesday. The number of U.S. visits settled down to 65,803 on Thursday, still well above the norm.

Bush's victory sparked speculation that disconsolate Democrats and others might decide to start a new life in Canada, a land that tilts more to the left than the United States.

Would-be immigrants to Canada can apply to become permanent resident, a process that often takes a year. The other main way to move north on a long-term basis is to find a job, which requires a work permit.

But please spare the sob stories.

Asked whether an applicant would be looked upon more sympathetically if they claimed to be a sad Democrat seeking to escape four more years of Bush, Iadinardi replied: "There would be no weight given to statements of feelings."

Canada is one of the few major nations with an large-scale immigration policy. Ottawa is seeking to attract between 220,000 and 240,000 newcomers next year.

"Let's face it, we have a population of a little over 32 million and we definitely need permanent residents to come to Canada," said Iadinardi. "If we could meet (the 2005) target and go above it, the more the merrier."

But right now it is too early to say whether the increased interest will result in more applications.

"There is no unusual activity occurring at our visa missions (in the United States). Having someone who intends to come to Canada is not the same as someone actually putting in an application," said Iadinardi.

"We'll only find out whether there has been an increase in applications in six months."

The waiting time to become a citizen is shorter for people married to Canadians, which prompted the birth of a satirical Web site called www.marryanamerican.ca.

The idea of increased immigration by unhappy Americans is triggering some amusement in Canada. Commentator Thane Burnett of the Ottawa Sun newspaper wrote a tongue-in-cheek guide to would-be new citizens on Friday.

"As Canadians, you'll have to learn to embrace and use all the products and culture of Americans, while bad-mouthing their way of life," he said.

Posted by Phil at 02:09 AM | Permalink

Got up this morning for Guzhen teaching. I taught two classes to little kids. It was fun. They actually pay attention and try. Amazing. I played around with some of them during the break. Picking them up and throwing them. They love it.
Got done about 1030am and then we hopped a cab and Toby and I headed to English Corner while Suzannah headed home. I chatted with a couple adults and children. One of the adults name was "Swallow"...as in the bird. She told me...and of course...I was thinking of something else.
I played some Sidewalk Ping Pong...ping pong without a table on the sidewalk...with this little kid. His English was pretty good. I was also doing some Shorinji Kempo Techniques with him. That drew a crowd. He asked if I liked Basketball, I said no...its stupid. I then asked him if he liked gung fu and he said yes. I asked, "Do you practice?" He said, "No". I proceeded to teach him a lesson on why he should practice. I whooped his ass. That's right. There is nothing that makes you feel better than beating up on little people.
From there, Sean and I headed to the Wooden Chair for lunch. Some nice eggs & tomato and rice. With some green Veggies. We were chatting. He mentioned that he went with Suzannah on Friday to a place to eat. In this area, they saw people doing Gung Fu and Lion Dancing. So, instinctively I got excited. Apparently this place is by Viasystems, the place where Moses and I interviewed and where Suzannah is teaching. WTF! Why didnt she tell me before. She knew I was looking for gung fu. I mean...I complain about it everyday. More to talk about this in a few moments. but read on for now.
Sean and I went to this trendy clothes shop after lunch. On the way there we were walking by another clothes store and we caught this 3-5 year boy looking under the skirt of a child mannequin. We laughed our asses off! "Good practice, boy! Good practice! That will come in handy! Thats the way to go!" Ha ha.
We got to the trendy shop. The shirts were highlarious. I wanted to buy them all. But tooo expensive. They had some bizarre things. I bought a green sweat shirt with a front zipper. It has the adidas stripes on the arms. But it has the Campbell Soup can on the left pocket area saying something about trying to search for food. Makes no sense. I needed it.
Then Sean headed home and I headed home. I had to relax a bit before going to my new 300PM Kindergarten class with that adorable 4 year old I met at English Corner last week. Her name is Daisy and she is a genious. So, i got to the school around 250PM. I stopped by the Xiaolan Office to say hi and get Lynn who was gonna help me. Tony was there harrassing Selena. I need to write a lone journal article on Tony. He totally deserves one of his own. He is messed up.
I started the class. Right off I was irritated because the kids in the class were from 4 years old - 7 years old. You have a girl that is just starting kindergarten, a kid who is in it, and a kid who is too old for it. First off, the games that work with the younger kids doesnt work with the older ones. Luckily though, there were only 3 kids. And the one that was 5 years old was being a spaz and his mom took him out to discipline him. So it was just me, Daisy, and Jay (the 7 year old). I expected Jay to know everything which he did, however, Daisy knew just about the same. I was totally impressed. I introduced new material to her and she learned it like that. And she did it with an adorable cuteness. I want to steal her and take her home with me.
After class ended I took Lynn to this little sports shop that I discovered two nights before on the way home from the Ritz Resturant. This place had the Lion Heads and equipment. So, I had Lynn ask about it. And the lady gave me the card of the teacher and they are the ones that Sean and Suzannah saw out by Viasystems. 150 Kwai/month. Damn! I am going to check it out Monday evening. I sure hope this is good. I really hope. I am excited. I may get to learn Lion Dancing. I have always loved it. Soooooo cool.
After that, Lynn and I met up with Selena because she needed an excuse to escape Tony's harrassment. They went shopping and I went to the Shengya DVD shop to look for the Monkey King DVDs. I asked in Putongwah, "Ma la wong dai Er" (Monkey King II). Unfortunately they didnt understand my Putongwah like the other store did (but didnt have it). Since I didnt know the Cantonese of the character, I had to perform the Monkey King Stance in the DVD shop. They laughed at me, but they knew what I was talking about. Thats all that counts right? So I picked up the DVDs and headed home.
I am now at home about to get ready to go out to dinner with my schoolteachers. One of them gave birth to a boy last week and we are going to celebrate. And coincidentally, Peter's Headmaster of his school, well, his wife gave birth to a boy last week as well. And we are all going to the same resturant for dinner. I wonder if its the same couple. ;-)
I need to hop in the shower real quickly. Add more later.

Well, I am back and getting ready for bed. I thought I may just finish this entry up. Coco came to pick me up on her scooter while I was rushing to get ready...i was ironing my shirt. I wore a nice shirt since this is a special occasion. We got there and the food...was just superb. So much stuff. It irks me to no end that the chinese constantly eat, constantly eat fatty and sugarry foods, waste so much, and are soooo damn skinny! Aiya. It makes you made. Well, in a couple of generations the asian fatless gene may lose potency and die out and they will turn into Americans! MWHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH A HA HA HAH AH AH HA HA!!!! 60% of your population will be obese!!!! JUST WAIT!!! AAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HAH AH AH HA!!!!
The new parents were stopping by and toasting each at each table. The dad was drinking bei-ju (sake * 100) and the mom was drinking water. The dad's face was totally red and he was totally blitzed. The party ended when half of Xiaolan blacked-out. Yeah, Half the city lost power. I dont know how. I mean, jeez. You think it was an air-raid or something. It would be like in that movie, "1941" where there are Zoot Suit Riots outside the USO show and everyone has to aid in the taking out of lights in downtown L.A. because they have mistaken two US Warplanes as Japanese Zeros. That scene ruled. So Coco took me home.
I got back and Moses and Amy were watching "The Clearing". Talk about a crappy movie. The end sucked so badly. Thankfully I only watched 30 minnutes of it. I then popped in my Monkey King movies. Talk about totally awesome and totally messed up. Its to long to explain, but it involves Stephen Chow (star of Shaolin Soccer) as the Monkey King, he time travels, and lies to the women he loves. Very funny very bizarre.
I was watching it when Peter and some chinese people showed up. They were supposed to be here just for a few moments, but they got sucked into this chinese classic film and stayed the whole way thru. And now I am typing. I am chatting with Deor as well. Well, goodnite all.

Posted by Phil at 05:25 PM | Permalink

So, don't freak out. I heard about this after I woke up. I talked to Peter about it. Apparently some guy last nite was murdered in Xiaolan. I heard it thru the grapevine. Peter heard it thru one of his students whose father works for the government. I was like, wow, thats kinda creepy. I haven't heard anything since, but its possibly tied to the Triads. I mean, they most likely run the prostitution, drugs, and the dance clubs in ShiQi and in Xiaolan...all the one dance club. About 6 months ago, some guy in ShiQi was decapitated at night club...during night club hours. That totally reeks of triad involvement.
Today was my day off and i just hung out, went to the gym with Peter.
Lynn had come over and got my AC fixed and I helped her with some of her Translation assignments. I then headed out to dinner with some friends and went to Long Shan Park. The big park. They got a little lake and this huge lighted pagoda. So cool. You can see the whole city. Pretty impressive.
I then headed home and went to bed.

Posted by Phil at 01:46 AM | Permalink

My first class was canceled today. Nothing special really happened at school. Had good classes today and kindergarten went well. I also went to the gym.
The cool part was Peter and I went to the Ritz Resturant, this non-chinese food restuarnt. Its run by a HK guy. And its surprisingly good. However, it reeks of Chinese cheesy-ness. The place looks like its class from the outside and at a quick glance on the inside. However, you get up closer, and you see that everything is made from crappy materials and stuff is dirty. The bathroom was a perfect analogy. It had the idea and look to be super classy, but then you look closer and it was dirty and made crappily. Next time I am there I will take a foto. The food is very good though. They have this piano-woman playing the same 8 songs over and over again...and she is really bad. Constantly makes mistakes and can't stay on time. Good entertainment.
On the way back home we drove by a sport shop in which i saw some Lion Heads hanging on the wall. I was so excited. Tomorrow before I head to the gym I am stopping there to find out more!
Headed back to the house and just did some DVD work. Went to bed.

Posted by Phil at 02:02 AM | Permalink

You know that scene in Kindergarten Cop where the Bad Guy is walking thru the school with the Vice-Principal looking at the different classrooms, but he is really looking for his son Dominick? Well, they arrive at Arnold's room and he is beseiged by little kids...like a dog pile on Arnold. Well, that happened to me today in Kindergarten. Well, not the part with the bad guy, but the part with the dogpile. I was teaching for about 40 minutes and we had a bathroom break and most of the kids went to the bathroom. However, the remaining kids stayed to play with me. I lifted two kids up with each arm and all of a sudden, about 20 kids mobbed me and were grabbing my legs and punching me playfully wanting me to pick them up. I was picking a few of them up and throwing them around. They loved it. It was making me happy. Lynn was my assistant today and she was giggling non-stop. She said, "Aiya! You are spoiling the kids!" And I responded, "I know."
I continued to do it. Until the real kindergarten teacher/enforcer returned. She looked angry because all the kids were laughing and having fun, so you could think of her as the Bad Guy from Kindergarten Cop. I was telling the kids, "Hurry up, sit down! You don't want to get into trouble!! Hurry hurry!" So they sat down and I proceeded to finish the class.

Other stuff... class started at 10am today. Then I headed ot the gym after one class. That was good. Some kids are performing a play in a contest on Tuesday morning...The Three Little Pigs. I have helped out a bit, but not much. I was really impressed. It was done well, they sounded good, and they looked adorable. But they got their costumes in. So awesome. I am gonna videotape the performance. I can't wait.

Posted by Phil at 06:56 PM | Permalink

Today wasn't the best of times. The kids today were irritatting, especially the 6th graders. I had some fun, but lots of frustration. I had to send another 6th grade kid to the front of the room for saying the "F-word". I made a couple troublemakers stand in front of the class and recite a poem.
By the time I got to Kindergarten I was already tired and frustrated. It was the 10 Kid Spaz Class today and they wouldnt stop yelling and shouting. Running all over the place. I was so tired and frustrated and it seemed that things started to get all dreamlike in away. The shouting didnt help. There is no way to control these little energy-filled meat sacks.
About 5 minutes before class was over, I was going thru "Head, Shoulders, Knees, & Toes" to teach some body part names. And the kid that reminds me of my bizaro self when I was a kid was running around and not paying attention. When I went down to do the "knees & toes" part of the song, He ran by me and jumped with all his might and he sent his head shooting right into my nose as I was bending over into his head. CRACK!!!
OOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!! CLASS IS OVER GET OUT!!!! GET OUT NOW! BYE! GO! LEAVE! GO HOME! The kids were silent and worried. And Bizaro-Phil looked really nervous and sad...not knowing what to do. The kids were still hanging around and I told Owen to tell them that class was over. Owen was clueless on what to do as well. I hate that class. And when i refer to him as Bizaro-Phil, I mean it in every sense of the name. I'm American, he's Chinese. I'm a Capitalist, he's a Communist. I have light blue eyes, he has black eyes. I'm big, he's small. I'm white, he's...off-white. I am clean shaven, he has a goattee. And yet there is an odd similarity between the two of us....freaky.
As I was packing up, a kindergarten teacher/enforcer came in with Bizaro-Phil and he apologized. I felt bad that he was upset, but he needs to learn. After he left the 4-year old wiz girl showed up. She came running up to me and hugged my leg. So adorable. The pain in my nose wilted away. I chatted with her a bit and she headed out with her grandma. I then took off.
I headed home and I am just spent right now. No more doing stuff tonite. Ugh.

I have been watching the polls coming in all day. I always have hated Ohio....and Florida. It figures that they both screw up two really important elections in a row. Later.

Posted by Phil at 09:15 PM | Permalink

Make sure you go to the polls today. All of you. Vote for someone other than Bush & Kerry because neither of them is fit to lead our country. We need some decent canidates for once. These assholes are ruining everything.

Other than that. My day was ok. Classes weren't all that great. The material was just so boring today and it was hard to do anything with it. Man, tomorrow is gonna suck with the 6th grade class. I will smack them all.
Went to the gym and tired myself out. I fell asleep on my desk inbetween classes. Wow.
During one of my classes a kid farted. It was a SBV because I didnt hear it. I went over to their side of the room trying to get them to repeat some of the words I was teaching and about 4 kids were plugging their noses and one was flapping his book. I looked puzzled. I was in mid-sentence when I realized why they were plugging their noses..."Why are you guys....." and I proceeded to snicker and more and more kids started to plug their noses and I was the only one giggling and then it grew and I couldn't stop laughing while I was trying to teach the lesson. The kids started opening the windows and I turned on the cieling fans. The funny thing is that the students didn't find the fart or situation funny at all, but they were sorta laughing at me because I was laughing while trying to teach. All in all, i was the only one laughing. I think it was one of the fat kids. It seemed from the layout of the plugged noses when I first noticed them, he was the epicenter. I found it really funny.
Oh, I also sent a 4th grader in my 2nd class to the front of the room for brandishing both barrels. But thats not as bad ass what I had to do in my 1st class of 4th graders. One of the boys in the front of the class said, "Fuck you" a couple times, for no reason. Just outta the blue...and in a voice like he didnt know what it meant. But what was worse was that the girl sitting next to him, who is super cute and is one of my favourite students decided to repeat it. Man, these kids will do anything someone tells them too. I hated to do it because I knew neither of them knew what it really meant, so i dragged both of their desks to the front of the room.
Whenever I send a kid to the front of the room, the rest of the students start chanting, "GOODBYE!"
man, talk about messing with you psychologically. Whoa...I just had a bit of Deja Vu right there. Freaky.
The rest of the day I spent chilling and doing some needed shopping.
Don't forget to vote.

Posted by Phil at 09:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So, today was my day off and I headed to the gym around 1130am to meet Jolleen. She was gonna help me get a 4 month membership. We got there and negotiated a 4 month membership for 450 kwai. Pretty good deal. I also got a personal locker. No more luggin tons of crap. I proceed to work out for awhile. It was great. Getting back into my routine. I chatted with John about the party last nite since I thought they all went. No one went. They all assumed that it would suck. And of course, they made asses out of themselve. Apparently it wa a blast. I dunno why they dislike the scene in ShiQi. There are fun things. They are just cocky sometimes. ;-) Just kidding, I love 'em. Its understandable, some of the crew in ShiQi tend to like to party with illegal substances and thats just not cool. I hope the cops bust them up.
So, I was saddened to hear this, but not too bummed since I had a blast at my party. That was a rockin good time. See the fotos and journal entry.
What else happened, oh, after working out, I grabbed some food at this awesome small shop. For 3 kwai, you can get 10 jiao-tze, steamed dumplings......SOOOOO GOOODD! they aslo have these noodle dishes for 3 kwai. This place rocks. Great food, super cheap prices.
Then I ran across the path of many motorcycles on the street to Sheng-Ya DVD shop where I was seduced by the Dark Side and purchased the new Star Wars Special Edition DVDs for a total of 33 kwai, which is ruffly $4US. AWESOME! They look gorgeous. There are some things that were done to them that pissed me off, but little things that a guy like me (psycho star wars fan would get pissed at). Things like changing Boba Fett's voice to the guy who played Jango Fett, because Boba was a clone of Jango...which for the record irrtiated me. Lucas aslo screwed up more things. He re-did the Conversation with the Emporer in The Empire Strikes Back. Ugh. Oh, and Anakin's ghost at the end of Return of the Jedi is no longer Bernard Shaw, but that panzy they picked to play Anakin in the first 3 movies. I haven't seen what they did to Star Wars: A New Hope yet. But all my irritations with the Special Editions from 1997 still hold....like Greedo shooting first. WTF!!!!!!
The rest of the day was spent on lesson preparation and screwing around.

Posted by Phil at 09:53 PM | Permalink

Well, its sunday today. I had to get up at 730am this morning after prolly about 6 hours of sleep so I can go teach in Guzhen. And to add onto that, I had a hangover. Yeah, the party last nite was a friggin' blast. I had so much fun. It was soooo much better than the halloween party. You totally have to look at the fotos once they are posted. Gonna do that tonite.
Despite how crappy I felt, i enjoyed the teaching. Too bad the material was too easy for the students. Toby joined me and Suzannah today, so I got to teach only for 2 periods instead of the 3 last week. So we left earlier around 1045pm. We headed over to People's Park for the English Corner cause that's where our running crew was..."Yoo Hoo, Running Crew?"
That's where i met this uber-adorable 4 year old. She was walking by with her mom and they stopped by as I was waving at her. Turns out, i think her mom has taught her some english, cause this 4-year olds English was fantastic! She was asking me questions and talking to me. She sang me The Apple Song. SOOOOO ADORABLE. And she does this super cute thing with her tongue when she is shy, she sticks it out and bounces it off the corners of her lips. I took a camera movie of her singing the Apple song, but she wasn't loud enuff and it doesnt pick up very well.
The gang was also taking turns on driving Peter's scooter all over the place. That thing rocks!
We then headed over to The Wooden Chair and had lunch. We were all discussing our plans for the rest of the day. There was another Halloween Party in ShiQi that I wanted to attend. And I told everyone, but because for some reason the people up here in Xiaolan think that the scene is ShiQi is gay, there wasn't alot of positive reaction towards this. I still wanted to go none-the-less. The others would go if everyone else did. However, they all assumed it would suck.
So, I headed back to my place and passed out on the bed. I woke up at 6pm. Crap. No one called me or bothered to wake me up for the party. They prolly headed down. Poop. But then Peter came home as I was watching a movie. He was like, yeah, no one went. Strange. No wonder no one woke me up. BUT I STILL WANTED TO GO! DAMN YOU ALCOHOL!! DAMN YOU!!!!!!!! YOU BLEW IT UP! YOU ANIMALS!!
(see tomorrows entry to find out more about the party)
So, the rest of the nite, I just chilled, trying to get healthy again. I went to bed.

Posted by Phil at 09:25 PM | Permalink

Ok. Time for a long day. Got up and headed to the Xiaolan Office to get paid. Then, Peter, John, and I headed out to run errands for the nite. First we went to the KFC Mall, which has the computer stores on floor two. We headed to the third floor for the huge stationary shop. John was looking for poster paint so he could go as the Monkey King. HE picked up his yellow suit last nite. Check out the pictures. Pretty funny.
The paint wasn't very good so we took off. They also have some instruments there that i was jamming on. Just rocking out. \m/,
From there we headed towards the gym, but Peter wanted to stop and check the DVD shop. After we wasted some time there, we walked down to the gym area. Across the street there is a little shop owned by a Hong Kong woman that had a little bit of Halloween stuff. We basically bought half of what they had. A couple spiders, the webbing, some hanging lanterns, some light up skulls, and this skeleton thats motion activated that we placed on the entering door. Man, it was great. It scare the hell out of so many people. We would hear the door buzzer go off. We would then hit the door key to let them in, the walk in, slam the door and the skeleton wouold go off. Thats when we would hear the scream. MWHA HA HA HA!
So, while Peter and John were looking for supplies, I was in the sport shop buying some new boxing gloves for the gym's heavy bag, a sword, and some costume supplies. I had two costume ideas.
1. Pinhead from the Hellraiser movies, but I couldnt' find a bald cap to modify, so I was looking for swim caps.
2. With the swim cap, i had a back up. I would go as the newest member of the Chinese Women's Swim Team.
But, with the lack of materials, I had to give up on Pinhead. Its a shame. So I went with #2.
From there we ran up to the gym to see if I could get a 4 month membership, but they only offered 3 or 6 months and since I had no chinese friend to help negotiate, i took off.
From there, we walked down to the kool DVD store where I bought Freddy VS Jason for the party to play in the background with the sound off.
Then we headed to the bamboo shop to buy a staff for John, cause the Monkey King has a red staff. Luckily, we found some bamboo wrapped with red shrink wrap. SO I bought one and so did he, they were only 1 kwai. Really cheap. While we were walking to find other stuff, Peter saw the scooter store. And since he just got paid, he decided to buy a new toy for 800 kwai. This banana yellow scooter rocks! Its small but it goes! Its a blast to ride. I can pop wheelies on it. I will get a foto and post it. With all our shopping taken care of, we headed back to the house. Man, we were already tired. But then we realized we needed some more stuff.
We went out to 1+1 and got some food. Bought a storage box for bobbing for apples. Then walked down the street to the liqour store and bought some Vodka and also went to a decal store where I found a chinese flag for my costume and Peter found some stickers for his new pimp ride. Oh, the word "decal"...well, the Canadians just stress the "e", not the "a" & the "e" like they are supposed to.
Stupid idiots.
Now, we headed home and John went back to his place to rest.
I spent the rest of the day cleaning, hanging decorations, putting my outfit together, and doing some computer work. Man, I was tired. But the party re-invigorated me.
People started arriving around 8pm. I threw on my undersized women's bathing suit, so it was uber-tight. I threw the chinese flag onto my chest, grabbed my swim cap and goggles and towel. I was wearing shorts...for the first half of the party. Around midnite...they came off along with an addition of a strategically placed carrot prothesis and i ran around shouting Happy Halloween. It got lots of laughs and a couple screams. Coco's scream was by far the best. Its on the Video, unfortuately, i got no fotos, but Yumi and Rumi both took fotos. I need to get it from them. Very funny. After awhile, Suzannah told me to put the shorts back on, because she kept looking and she was getting to excited, so I went and changed into my Shorinji Kempo gi. People liked that one too. Jolleen liked it better.
Not much to say other than that except that everyone had a good time. People were dancing and there was a lot of people. There was a couple middle schoolers there for some reason, students of one of the teachers along with a couple kids. Coco's costume rocked and she brought her daughter dressed up and I didn;t know who it was until the end of the party. I thought it was Anna for awhile, but then i realized it wasn't Anna, and I could tell who it was. But whoever it was had some awesome rainbow colored leg warmers.
The party ended after we did some bobbing for apples. Sean, John, Rumi, Yumi, and a couple others headed out to Cowboy and I proceeded to hangout in the bathroom for about an hour while I got sick. I proceeded to pass out on my bed around 130 or 2 am. It was a great nite. The reason I got sick was because Sean gave me some wine after I stopped drinkin. I dunno why I took it, but I did, and I paid for it. Ugh. Well, goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 09:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Day was normal. School, went to work out. Gary was my assistant at kindergarten for the 10 Kid Spazz Class today. He was more intimidating and has experience with kindergarten. He was surprised with these kids - he couldn't control them.
I met up with Peter and we headed to the Wooden Chair. Yummy resturant. We met up with John and a new teacher who just showed up, Toby. Another british guy. What is it with these English. We were waiting for Sean, but he never showed up. Man, what's up with that. We waited for an hour. No Sean.
Turns out he ended up helping with the play the students are doing. My students are doing The Three Little Pigs and I have been helping out with it as well.
So we all hung out for a bit. Walked around town, showed Toby the stuff. We found a Scarface Travel bag. I got a foto. We then headed back to the big house where we all just hung out and chatted. Peter and I were trying to transfer mp3s to my computer via my iPod, but because his computer is a PC and stupid, it needed special software to work with my iPod and not erase it. It took him awhile to find it and download it.
And of course, since his computer is stupid, no computer can connect with his so we can't share stuff via network. So irritating. We have the technology but it won't work. Retarded.
So, I headed to bed. I needed to get up early so I could get paid and then go shopping and prepare for the Halloween Party on Saturday nite.

Posted by Phil at 09:25 AM | Permalink

The last couple days, the 26th-28th have been pretty normal. Went to school and went to the gym during lunch.

Posted by Phil at 10:40 PM | Permalink

Pretty much all I did today was work on the Jamie and Janna DVD. I decided to finish all the editing of the second half, unfotunately, it all wont fit on one disc, so I am gonna have to split it up like I have done on other projects. It will allow me to put more on the first disc. But in doing so, I have to redo the menu screens. Which doesnt upset me much, because I wasn't happy with the way they were before. Anywho.
I spent most of my day on that, hanging out, going to the gym with the free passes from Peter. Worked on some Mandarin as well.
Met another teacher for dinner.
Pretty relaxing day.
Except for the news I heard from the Travel Agency. The bastards are trying to screw me. They only offered me 200 kwai for the mistake that someone made who said they would hold me a spot on the cheaper tour. Its sooooo on now. This company is going down. I'm taking them down...down to China town! The first step is to write a letter to the head office and to all the newspapers I can.
try to screw me.

Posted by Phil at 09:17 AM | Permalink

I woke up this morning and got ready. Headed to the XIaolan Office by 830am. Met up with Mountain then got our taxi and headed to pick up Suzannah. We then drove about 20 minutes to Guzhen. I had three classes to take care of...well, 2 classes, but one was two periods long.
The first class was surprisingly fun. Most of the kids participated and enjoyed the lesson. And they would do what I said. They kinda understood. I was dumbfounded. The actual teacher though, surprised me with her english. It was very good. And she understood me as well. WOW! Thats prolly why they are so good. The only problem with the class was it was shared between 3rd and 4th graders. So some of the kids already knew the material. Sort of a pain in the ass, but not really.
The second class was prolly 2nd grad/3rd grade level. They were a blast. I was teaching catch and run to the door and other objects. It was great. I was making them tell each other what to do in English. I was throwing my pocket cleanex at them and they were going wild. Its not hard to entertain chinese kids.
I was really impressed with these kids here. I was talking with Suzannah and she thinks its a money issue. At that Guzhen school the kids are poorer in relation to the kids at her school. She claimed to know this by the fact that she uses a balloon to get kids to answer questions. Now, at her school when she brings out the balloon, the kids instantly attack it and attempt to destroy it. SMOTHER IT!!! DO IT NOW!! But in Guzhen, the kids were playing with it and trying not to break it. She was amazed. Thats what made her think its a money issue. Plus, her school in Xiaolan is the richest in town.
Afterwards we headed back to Xiaolan. We met up with Sean, John, and Jolleen and went to the Best Dumpling House. Awesome dumplings. Then we walked to the video store where I was looking for this recent HK movie. Didn't find it. I picked up a Jackie Chan movie and Infernal Affairs. They both rocked. Today was a relaxing lazy day. I am heading to bed.
Later.

Posted by Phil at 02:03 PM | Permalink

Today I woke up and went with Amy to the China Post. I went and mailed 6 DVDs of Bryan and Therese-Anne's wedding to them. It should get there by next Wednesday. It will be checked by US authorities though. Paranoid psychos. I need to send a copy to his brother Jeff, who lives in Japan. I need to get the address first.
Afterwards I went to 1+1 Supermarket. Picked up some stuff. I stopped by a suit shop asking, "How much is that suit in the window..the one with the waggly tail." He told me, get ready, 2380RMB. Which, here is super expensive. But it turns into about $260US which is cheap for nice high quality suit. Problem is. I dont have that muhc. Great.
Once i got back to the house, I got Peter to go to they gym with me. He has a year membership that he got a couple weeks ago, but has never used. I needed to get him in gear. He had some free passes, so I am using those until they run out. By then, I will get paid and will be able to purchase a membership.
The gym went well. I was a little sore afterwards, but not much. I headed back to the house. I met up with John and Sean for dinner. We then went looking for stuff we could use for Halloween. Sean mentioned going as ghostbusters the night before. That would be tuff. SO we went searching and didnt find anything. We then hit up the arcade. The chinese are amazed when a white person plays crappy videogames. There was nothing fun there. Pathetic.
We then got some beer at Sunday bar. The usual working girls sat with us. Professional Flirts is what they are. THey just go and sit with guys. Bizarre. I then hopped a taxi home. Cause I have to teach Sunday morning in Guzhen with Suzannah. Rock.

Posted by Phil at 04:28 PM | Permalink

Well, today was a crap day. Classes went fine but I got word from the Travel Agency that the person in charge of my issue was out on a business vacation until Tuesday. They are just trying to prolonge the inevitable. I will have my justification no matter what.
I aslo got my translation of the gung fu classes that I had been waiting for. Apparently someone found a somewhere to practice. I received the fax and I was extremely pissed. The location of the place was ShiQi. WTF. They know I live in Xiaolan and they know I can't possibly make it to this place. What was the point of telling me they found a place 1.5 weeks ago getting my hopes up and then translating it when the place is 45 minutes away from 8-10pm and I have no car. And I dont have 1000RMB per month to pay for 6 hours a week. That is basically $124US per month. I wouldnt even pay that in the States. At least not where I am from. The guy was able to pull this because he claims to be a master in a lineage coming from Wong Fei Hung and a few other famous gung fu masters of old.
So, being frustrated from this and just all around chinese crap. I got angry and lashed out on somebody via email that didnt deserve it. I felt terrible afterwards and apologized profusely. I felt completely crappy. Really bad.
The gang was getting together as usual on Fridays. We met up at the beer gardens. There was me, Suzannah, Sean, John, Nadine, and Jolleen. John said that the french contingent here in Xiaolan was going to be joining us, his friend Antoine. I was like, kool.
I found out that Nadine needs to get a sinus operation. Apparently they are infected and causing massive problems. She will not stay here in China for the operation. She needs to go elsewhere. Either Hong Kong or maybe Shanghai. She doesnt know yet. She wants someone who speaks english though. She doesnt know whether she will come back or not. Throughout the rest of the night though, she went from bad to worse. She decided to drink while she was on meds. Now, I didnt realize that she had any meds inher system and she was not drinking alot. But she got mean. Apparently after she left Cowboy later with Suzannah...she got real mean. Started to get up all in Suzannah's face. Yelling at her and stuff. Crazy.
But back to the Beer Gardens. Antoine, whos like 6 foot 5 inches, showed up and mentioned that he was meeting up with some other friends at the Weclome Bar later on. So he told us to join him. And it also turned out that tonite was the nite that all the French people in town were having a competition to see how "gay" they can be. Damn. It was pretty funny. After the Weclome Bar, we went with Antoine and his chinese girlfriend (he speaks some mandarin) to Cowboy bar where we met the rest of his clan. And they were totally gay. Thing was, I didnt realize that there was a competition going on...so I said to Gene(a Korean American - friends with John...he's working here in Xiaolan for an American company), "Is it just me or are the French really gay?" He said...totally dude...but its a contest. OOOOOOH. That would make sense...figuring they are being very flamboyant on the dance floor with one another try to out do each other. The security guards had the look of fear in their eyes.

Now, go back again to the Weclome bar. There was this chinese dude that was hitting onme the whole time I was there. Talking to me, giving me sugarwater so I dont have a hang over, and offering me free massages n such (he works at a place, he didn't give me one there). The gang was seeing this and they couldn't help but laugh. So, I got up to go to the bathroom. And he felt he should show me where it was...um...dude...I can find the bathroom. But that didn't stop him. He followed. As I went into the stall to use the hole in the floor...he followed. I was like, "DUDE!!! GET OUT!!" He walked to the side of the hole and was motioning me to come and join him. I was like, "DUDE!! I ain't gonna play swords with you! Get out! I can't go while you are in here with me!" So after a few moments he put whatever he had away and left. I proceeded to relieve myself. I then went over to Suzannah and told her to protect me...there is a gay chinese chasing me! She tried, but this guy was persistent.
Thats when the gang was like, "Ok, lets go to Cowboy." I was like, THANK GOD! LETS GET OUT OF HERE!
There we are a bunch of British and American foreign teachers walking down an alley with a frenchman pretending to be gay while a real gay chinese man wouldnt leave me alone. Thats right he left with us...UGH! Now, in chinese culture, chinese guys are close..they like to walk with arms around each others shoulders or a hand on the shoulder. So...this dude was trying...thats right, he was trying, to put his arm around my should and he was also trying to hold my hand. I wasn't letting him. GO AWAY, DUDE! Unfortunately he doesn't understand English and I dont know enough chinese to tell him to go away. We got to the end of the alley and thankfully he had to go back to the bar because he was either a manager or something. He worked at the bar, so he left us. Ugh. He was creeping me out. That bathroom thing. AAAAAAH!
After that interesting night. I headed home. Nothing else happened. I still felt bad about the email thing though.

Posted by Phil at 10:35 AM | Permalink

I went into the Xiaolan Office today around 4pm and picked up my Contract Amendment shortening it to 6 months. SWEET! I was also supposed to pick up the fone that they found for me, but of course, it wasnt there. And they dont have it yet. They were also supposed to bring the translation of a kung fu school program that someone found. I was hoping for that. But wasnt there. So, I quized Amanda about what it said and she mentioned the only thing she remembered was something about Wong Fei-Hong...Really!? is it possible that someone found Hung Gar in this hellhole? DAMN! That's too good to be true...and it is. Read tomorrow's entry.

Posted by Phil at 04:24 PM | Permalink

Well, today was a good day. Darn good day. Classes were...interesting. There were a couple upsetting events, but nothing killer.
First Event:
At the end of my 5th grade class right before lunchtime, I was saying goodbye to the students and everyone was waving, but I spotted a kid in the back row throwing down and giving me the "Double barrels" - he was giving me the middle finger on both hands. Just throwing it out there. He was doing it in a way that seemed to show that he knew what he was doing.
So I rushed towards him with demonic speed. I was all happy one second waving "bye" to the kids and switched to the "stern face" and intent walk the next second. I think it scared the entire class. I picked the kid up by the arm and dragged him to the front of the class and made him face the blackboard. Lily, the teacher/enforcer, didnt know what happened and I didnt want to show or explain it in front of the kids. Later she told me that she yelled at him after I left. She knew he did something bad.
Some of these kids learn these things from TV or the older brother/sister who tells them to do it. They may not know what it means. But this kid definitely had the body language that seemed to me at the time he knew what was up. The 4th grader from yesterday, its possible he didnt know what he was doing.
I tried explaining it to Lily the same as I did yesterday to Lucy and Anna. But, she didnt quite grasp it. I had to explain it to her by telling her what word it substitutes for in English by telling her the chinese equivalent (which I know). She didnt seem to care.

Second Event:
Today is the day of my 6th grade class right after lunch that just does not participate at all. The students just don't pay attention and I have tried everything to get there attention. Sometimes it works, but as soon as I get it, they stop paying attention. Its very frustrating. Today, I turned around to write something on the blackboard and I said under my breath in my best Cartman impersonation, "I hate you guys."
There is one child near the front who, for about the past 3-4 lessons has been acting up - making inappropriate sounds, not paying attention, and disrupting class even more. He was never doing this before. So, today was the second time I had to pull his desk up in the front of the class and stick him in front of the blackboard. I also took away his markers that he was coloring his book with.
After class I go down during the break between classes, I walk into the office, and all the English teachers see me flustered. So, I tell them....and they say, "Aaaah...they are bad students." But then, Ivy comes in, she is the English Teacher/Enforcer for that class. She told me, "That child, don't be hard on him, he's not right...." while she is saying this she is making the international symbol for retarded - circling your finger around the side of your head. Everytime I see one of the teachers do that motion, I just get horrified that they are describing the student that way, but then again, its China...and they dont have the best common sense...or the P.C. that we have been bombarded with in the States.
So, not only am I shocked to see the teacher doing this again but the fact that I have been here teaching in this class for the past 1.75 months, and no one told me that this kid was mentally challenged. DAMNIT! So I told every English teacher in the room, "Tell me which students are dealing with this dilemma!" And their blank-faced response was, "Yes." And then they smiled and went back to their work. Not having people understand you sux.
I find this strange though, because he never was actiing up until about a couple weeks ago. What gives? Maybe I just didnt notice it before. Who knows.

Third Event: It was my "10 Kid Spaz Class" again today. Today I had Mountain as my Bond Assistant/Enforcer for reasons i will explain later. The class went better, it was more in control...because Mountain speaks loud and is able to control the kids. The super spaz kid that reminds me of myself wasn't on crack today for some reason, maybe it was because Mountain was there. No, my little issue in this class revolves around the fat kid again. We were playing "Duck Duck Goose" and he was going around slapping kids on the head. I mean, whacking them hard on the head. So I said loudly, "STOP IT!" pointing the STERN FINGER at him. Immediately his eyes began to water. He asked to go to the bathroom, Mountain said sure. He ran off. He returned a minute later fine. So that was ok. But it was still and issue.

Ok. Back to the rest of the day. After my morning classes ended, I headed to the Xiaolan Office to see if Mountain or Lynn was gonna go with me to the Travel Agency to give them my letter of complaint and try and get a refund. As I walked there, I came upon a chinese guy selling baby ducks to children. These ducks were soooooooo adorable. The freak had dyed them bright yellow, green, and red. It was kinda creepy. He was selling them for a couple bucks and putting them in plastic bags. Again, I was horrified...to see living ducklings wrapped up in plastic bags with them trying to get out. It was freaky to say the least. I took a couple fotos of the ducks. Super cute. I wanted to purchase one and raise it as a pet so it wouldn't be treated terrible, but I remember that my friend in Beijing did the same with some birds she bought and they hadn't been raised by their mother enuff and they wouldnt eat anything she put out for them. They eventually starved to death. Kinda sucks. I figured that these ducklings wouldn't last a long time. So I decided against it. This guy would soooo get busted in the States.
I get to the Office and I tell Lynn and Mountain about this. And Mountain tried to tell me that they were robots. I was completely dumbfounded by what he said. "THOSE AREN'T FUCKING ROBOTS! They are living ducklings!" This caused Lynn to bust out laughing and gave Mountain a sheepish smile. He said that when he was a child, someone sold him a duckling like that and he was amazed at the fact that it was damn near impossible to kill. He said he threw it to the ground as hard as he could, it got up and started running around so he stomped on it....and it was still fine. This is what led him to believe that it was a robot.
Dude, if China had the technology to building a lifelike robot of a duckling, then I can't possibly fathom just how incompetent they are that they aren't ruling the world. Unbelievable.
Mountain said he would accompany me as my Assistant/Enforcer today because we would head to the Travel Agency to speak with the manager and give the translated copy of my complaint/demand for refund letter.
After Kindergarten we headed ot the Travel Agency. We got to speak with the manager. We gave the letter to them and the pictures I took of the hotel room. It seemed at the time that we have the upper hand right now. We would hear from them in two days because she had to speak with her company superiors on the issue. If we dont hear in two days, then we will go in there again or call.
If things dont go well, all the foreign teachers are going to protest with me...and it will be legal. Something like this is ok to protest and we could do it for something to do on a Friday. That will bring the newspaper around. If that don't work, we can try lawyers.
So after this good news, I was happy. I was then supposed to meet up with Sean and John so we could be totally gay and go get our hair cut together, but plans fell thru. John had some dinner thing for school and I ended up meeting up with Sean and Suzannah to go get a haircut. Then we were all supposed to get together to watch a movie.
Ok....China does not have barber shops. They just have over the top salons. You would think its totally gay, but thats something they dont understand in China. I mean, dudes and dudettes hold hands here and walk arm in arm and hang on each other all the time....and they are just..."friends". A little bit of suppression there? hmmmm.
Anyway, we get to V2000 the hair salon. First, we get our hair washed + a head and neck massage for about 30 minutes. They give you facials and they also clean your ears for you...whcih is freaky. As they were washing my hair, they moved down to my ears and the chick gave me dual Wet-Willy's. I jump. I jumped many times during this head massage. They were doing some odd things. I got my hair cut and they poofed it up like I was a French Poodle. Damn.
Suzannah did have a haircut, she just got it washed and blowdried. She looked like a Labrador Retriever. It was sooo damn cute. She asked us, "Do you want to stroke my coat?" I responded, "You need to start eating eggs to keep your coat shiny." It was really funny. It was all fluffy n stuff.
Sean's haircut looked hilarious as well. It made him look like he is 10 years old again. As we left one another, I was like, "See you later, Dennis" (as in Dennis the Menace) and these to Limey bastards understood what I was saying.
We were supposed to all get together to watch a movie, but Sean and Suzannah copped out. I met up with John and we ended up watching "The Hills Have Eyes" It was damn funny.
Oh well, its late and I need to sleep. Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:36 PM | Permalink

Well, one of my kids gave me the finger today. The kid was in 4th grade. Did he know what it means? At the time he did it, I thought so. But then I thought that it could be his older brother or friend that told him to do it. Its possible he didn't know what it means. I saw this so I sent him up to the front of the room. This was during Lucy's class and she didnt understand why I sent him to the front. But she yelled at him none-the-less.
I ain't taking no single barrels from nobody in my class.
So, after lunch I had a chance to chat with Lucy and Anna about why I sent him to the front of the room. I explained to them that in America, the middle finger is a bad hang gesture. They didnt understand. So, they were both standing there for a few minutes giving me their middle finger while I was trying to explain it. All they were doing was looking at it...with a confused look. "This is bad.." and I am like "PUT IT AWAY!" I just tried to tell them that it was very bad. I dont think I had the heart to tell them the chinese equivalent. Oh well. Next time I guess.

Posted by Phil at 10:27 AM | Permalink

Got a message tonite. It felt good, however, it was missing one ingredient...Love. It was a two-hour massage. Nice, but it didnt really seem to do anytyhing to me afterward. Still felt the same.
-me

Posted by Phil at 12:53 AM | Permalink

Hmmmm...what could it be that I lost...hmmm...there's alot...well alot of just a couple things....
1. MONEY - this misadventure is really turning into a money pit and its really getting to me
2. RESPECT for the chinese people as a whole. Every once in awhile I will come across some cool chinese. Not in our lifetime will this country rise to its potential. This country is full of cheats, I swear.
3. Temper over US - Chinese relations. Because of Bush's and Zemin's policies, I am getting screwed over on VISA lengths and charges...see 1 again.

First of all, I need to get this outta the way.... God bless the 70 year old chinese man in Adidas shoes wearing a plastic Incredible Hulk Backpack. He made me so happy. I woulda taken a picture had I not been in the Chinese customs line. Didn't want to cause a scene.

Ooh, another one I need to get outta the way is this: I had a motorbike taxi once here in Xiaolan, who was smoking while he was driving and of course the smoke was blowing right in my face. But he was listening to "The Theme from Carmen" on his little speaker or something. It sounded like a kid playing one of those little Casio Synths. It ruled.

I headed out to Hong Kong yesterday evening so I could get my 6-month F-VISA taken care of so I can continue to stay in China. Amanda called on Monday and they said that a 6-month F-VISA was $1200HK. I was like, fantastic. Of course I knew they may try to pull that, "You need to get a 2-month F-VISA twice before you can get a 6-month." And of course, a 2-Month F-VISA is $970HK just $50HK more than an L-VISA for 2 months (which I had before).
Before you say, "Oh Phil, why don't you just get a Z-VISA with Bond?" I will tell you right now, I can't and I will not.
1. Bond lied to me & they couldn't get a Z-VISA. Because they are liars...like all chinese. (And you can't blame me for calling them that, because they are...its part of the culture)
2. Bond recently was allowed to apply for a Z-VISA because they most likely bribed the right people. (that's also chinese culture) And of course they told me this a week or so before I needed to renew my VISA and when I had decided to change my contract to 6 months. (you can only have a Z-visa with Bond if you have a 1 year contract) And I will not stay here for a year.
3. The Bond VISA re-inbursement fees are also based off old VISA standards before our countries went to war over some issues.
I arrived at the VISA office right as they opened so I could get my VISA by 130pm. I was hoping that they changed it and went back to the straight & narrow 6-month Z-VISA. But no. This is what the man said,
"You want 6-month F-VISA? You have to get a 1-month F-VISA 2x or a 2-month F-VISA 2x before you can be eligible for a 6-month F-VISA."
I responded, "Why"
His response, "Heh, You lose."
At first I was taken aback, then I thought maybe he doesn't realize that's inappropriate because his english is bad.
After some more talking and asking quesions on why it was this way.
He said, "No. Sorry. You lose. Ask Bush." And with that he turned around and went in the backroom for processing. (the chinese are rude as well...its part of their culture.)

you unbelievable bastard

I picked up my Passport later on that day with no problems and asked the lady that handed it back to me why its set up that way. And she was nicer about it, but that didnt help matters anymore. She said that's what the Chinese VISA Office says. Thats what goes. I said, "They just want more money." She responded with, "Exactly." And then laughed. (the chinese are also tactless, its part of their culture)

Other Hong Kong Experiences.
Well, I had been searching for hostels online here in Xiaolan to stay in while I was in HK for two nites so I didnt have to pay a bunch for a hotel. I had some good leads and a couple fellow teachers recommended me to try Chong King Mansion on Nathan Street in TsimShaTui, downtown Kowloon.
"Yeah, you just show up and you get a room. Its like this old slum building that's been fixed up and is just packed with hostels on almost every floor. You can always find a room."
I head to HK planning on staying there...until I got there. If this was fixed up, I would have hated to see it when it wasn't. It still looked pretty slum to me. I walk into the area and immediately I was mobbed by people offering the best room for the best money because all other rooms were filled in the places I had been talking too. And they were obvisouly overcharging. So, first off this freaked me out. The place was also just down the street from the Mosque so pretty much everyone there was a smelly, greasy muslim. (i'm not saying that all muslims are, its just that these were muslims who happened to be smelly and greasy). After I walked in there and was mobbed by people, I got a very bad feeling about the place. I did not feel safe one bit. (and its not because I thought that these people were terrorists). If I wasn't alone, then maybe I would have stayed.
Another issue that arose was the fact that this place was just seedy. The renters, the owners, the Touts on every corner, and even the people staying there. I only had limited funds and there is no way in hell that I would try paying with a credit card in this place. After talking to a couple slum lords, I realized that I wouldn't have enuff to get my VISA and pay for the subway, etc.
The number one reason I left there was that I just did not feel safe...at all.
Why is it that the Kowloon Mosque is in the seediest part of town and alot of the local seedy people attend it? I hate to suggest correlations, but, its pretty obvious. (and of course, I know there are other seedy areas, but there were no other seedy areas that i came across in which i sensed danger)

There I am, walking the streets of HK with no place to stay. Damnit, this is an emergency, I am gonna need to use my credit card. Searching for a hotel room sucked. Just to tell you. This is a personal story and I am gonna keep this one to myself. I just want to put it out there and you can infer whatever you like.

Investigating Kowloon Nitelife
Some of the bars would be cool if you had a group of people. I went to the Schooner bar, which is a Karaoke bar and the thing has a "Pirate/Boating" Theme to it. The bartendress was really playing the part by missing her front 4 teeth and then a couple others. Local HK beer is crap as well. Don't drink it. I went to another bar after that and had a drink. At both of these places, and others I have read, they have women there to converse with guys, especially single ones. Its a plus if you are white. They totally creeped me out. Just started talking to me and telling me to sit next to them. One even tried to feed me a beerchip. Until I forced it away. I think she took the hint after that. She also wanted to sing "Endless Love" for karaoke with me. Check please.
After those two places, I went back to the hotel that I found. Went to bed.

Non-Visa Adventures
I woke up upset with China, the hostels/hotels, and the whole VISA situation. But, I was in HK all day on a gorgeous Friday. I had to make the best of it. I headed off to go see Po Lin Monastery. This is the home of the world's largest seated Buddha. Its made of Bronze and its on the top of a mountain on Lantau island. So i hoped on the subway and headed there. Once I got to the end of the the Tung Chung line, I boarded a bus that drives all thru the mountains to get there. Gorgeous views of mountains and lush foliage. After about 25 minutes of going really slow because the bus was a crappy and we were going up-mountian most of the time, we went downhill and came to a flat. The view was spectacular. My mouth began to drop. There was a calm lake and there were moutiains going up all around it. (see the fotos) Off in the distance you could see Buddha sitting atop the moutain. By this point my jaw was completely unhinged and it was just haning there. It has too be huge to be able to see it from here. It really strikes you and makes you feel weird thingys inside. All the chinese at once responded on seeing this with, "WWWWHHHHAAAAAA!" (in only the way cantonese speaking chinese can say it, i can immitate it, but only chinese can do it right)
We arrived and its to cool to talk about in words. Check out the fotos. I hung out there for a couple hours then got on the bus back. I met an older couple on the steps. I took their foto and they took mine. We chatted for a bit and I found out he was from Toronto. I told him that when I get back I want to move to that city. I love it. I told him that I was teaching english here in China and I told him that I wasn't really enjoy the whole experience here in China. And what he said was said so matter-of-factly that it struck me like a hammer:
"Of course...You don't belong there." ....you know...he's right. A wise man.
On the bus back, we picked up a bunch of school boys and their teacher. They were on a field trip, not to the Buddha statue, but to the prison thats down the road from the Buddha. Go figure. Lantau is the biggest island with the smallest population. Prolly due to all the mountains. Perfect place for Buddha and a prison. So, all the way back to the Subway station, i was having a conversation with these guys. Man, its like they've never seen a white person before. They live in HK. Oh well. I think I am getting used to it.
When I got back into Kowloon, i picked up my VISA. I haggled a Sony store guy down on some DV-Tapes for my camera. Kool. I then hoped the subway over to Wong Tai Sin, another buddhist temple. This one was pretty gorgeous. Its renowned for fortune tellers. So there were alot of heathens ;-) telling and reading fortunes. I didnt have it done. I don't want to end up in the Canto of Dante's "Inferno" where all the Fortune Tellers run around with their heads on backwards staring at their asses for trying to see forward in life. There were some very pretty gardens. One had a minature concrete replication of the Nine Dragons Wall. It had a pond and there were turtles everywhere. Also a couple of fountains and waterfalls. There was this other much larger garden called, The Wishing Well Garden. Very pretty. Check out the fotos.
After that, I hopped on the subway, I am the master of the HK Subway now. I was on every line in 24 hours. I headed back so I could walk to the China Ferry Terminal, I didnt want to stay another money spent nite in HK. Before I got on the 6pm ferry, I hit up the Apple Store down the street. Got some kool stuff. I also saw the Star Wars Trilogy DVD set. It was for $450HK, I didnt buy it. What's the price in the states? I am now back in Xiaolan. It strangely feels good to be back here...odd....

Posted by Phil at 10:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Just thought I would mention something that happened to me in Kindergarten today. Today's class was the "10 Kid Spaz Class". Basically, most of the kids are smart, prolly a level above the other children in the classes that have 30 kids and they have tons of energy at 430pm in the afternoon and they don't really want to learn. In the classes with 30 kids, in addition to my Bond Assistant, Owen, there are 2-3 kindergarten teachers who act as "enforcers" for when I can't control the kids...since they can't understand English. But in my "10 Kid Spaz Class" there is just Owen and me. And Owen, God bless him, just doesn't speak very loudly and isn't the enforcing type. Well, today, I had to punish the fat kid. I made hime cry.
This fat kid is constantly loud and never follows directions. Today I gave the kids something to color because its a good activity to waste time. After handing all the pictures out to the kids, the fat kid proceeds to rip out of the hands of a fellow student his picture. He then threw it on the floor for no reason then went to start coloring his picture. This made me angry and he needed to be dealt with. I felt like Arnold in Kindergarten Cop..."You lack discipline!" So I go to him and tear his picture away from him, he looks up at me with a surprised look and I give him the "Angry Index Finger" with an accompaning "Displeased Face". I saw that he felt horrible. He lowered his head, defeated. He then started to whimper and then he followed with putting his head on his hands on the seat and crying. I let him go for about a minute then gave him back his picture. He took it, but was still crying as he worked on it. It needed to be done and I dont believe I overreacted. He will get over it...............and he did.
Later on during the class, I was trying to work some one-on-one with the kids. I tried to have Owen control the others, but it wasn't working. The fat kid was running around and doing God knows what. He then over-exerted his self and vomited all over himself. I didnt see this happen, but it happened near the end of class. As I was carrying three kids under my arms to the door, I saw him sitting down with white stuff all over his shirt and he was breathing heavily. I dropped the kids I was carrying and told Owen to ask what was up. Owen asked and took him upstairs to the nurse. He is fine just over heated or something. I hope that teaches him a lesson. And no...the kid did not have the FLU.

Posted by Phil at 12:23 AM | Permalink

today was my day off. i rested and worked on my Beijing journal. need to finish it.

Posted by Phil at 12:36 AM | Permalink

I feel much better today. Still not 100%, maybe about 90%. I had a long day today. I also had kindergarten with Owen today. It was the class of 10 spazes. These kids are psycho.
The day was pretty normal. I went and picked up my Passport fotos for the Z-visa, but as you know now, I can't get that since my contract has been reduced. I need to get a Business VISA, so I called Amanda to ask her to get the price of a 6-month American F-Visa. She will have to get it on Monday since they are closed on Sunday.
Tonite was the nite that Rumi and Yumi were coming over to exchange fotos. So i met them at the KFC and picked them up. They liked all my fotos that they wanted them all. They said they were very pretty. OOOOH. so nice. I was able to get about 100 fotos from them that I wanted. Some funny shots that I didnt have. I then got a call from Suzannha. They were heading to the Muslim resturant. Her friend Chris is in town and a teacher from Shi Qi is now in Xiaolan. So they were going to dinner. I told them that Yumi and Rumi were over but we would meet them at the Beer Gardens later. So we did.
We met up with them and we had a blast. The three of us ordered a bunch of food. Sooo good.
We all had a blast teasing each other about our accents and just busting each other for fun. It was good times. Suzannah was super happy because now there were girls in the group.
Then at some point, someone other than me, said, I NEED TO DANCE. We decided to go to Cowboy Bar. We had a friggin blast. Teriible chinese techno music and 8 drunken friends. Thats a recipe for success. To give the truth, we had a blast. Just went crazy. And we realized that Nadine is carzy. She is the new teacher from Shi Qi. But she is fun.

Posted by Phil at 12:02 AM | Permalink

I woke up today and feel better. This day got better quick.
Classes went fine. Nothing special. I had sent out an email the nite before asking John to reduce my contract to 6 months from 1 year. I was just waiting on his response.
I had kindergarten with Lynn. It was the intermediate level, the kids dont know much. So I taught them some basic stuff. But then I played, "London Bridge" with them and the kids and chinese instructors loved it. The kids made me happy.
Afterwards, Lynn took me to get Passport fotos for the Z-visa. They were really pushing this on us and it was frustarting cause I was waiting to hear on my contract reduction. If so, I wouldnt be able to get a Z-visa. But that would be ok because I wouldnt be under control by Bond. If I had a Z-visa and I decdied to run away from Bond, Bond wouldnt free me off the Z-visa and I would be stuck in China not being able to legally work.
So I got some goofy looking passport fotos taken.
I got home and there was an email from John saying that he agrees and will allow my contract to be reduced!!!!! SWEEEET! good times. This means many things
1. I am no longer under the tyranny of Bond for 1 year.
2. After 6 months is up, I am totally leaving to either Shanghai, Beijing, or if I hate China then, maybe Japan.
3. that just totally rules.
The downside is that I my payment for fees will be lowered, however, its totally worth it to know i can be free sooner. Just 4.5 months to go.
So, I dont have to take care of this Z-visa. I need to call Amanda and get info on the F-visa and price. I will need to go to HK on thursday ntie and take care of this on Friday. Get some site seeing in while I am at it. Yes!

Posted by Phil at 12:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I woke up today at 7AM. I slept 12.5 hours. Felt great. However, I still feel not good. My body is sore.
I went in to school and it was obvious to the teachers taht I wasn't feeling well. My lessons went ok, but I felt like they were a dream. Coco told me that she would take my third class. She told me to go home an get rest. And said its ok if I dont come back for the afternoon.
So I went home and fell asleep. I woke up and Jolleen was in the house to fix some stuff. They worked on my Air Condition, but its still broken. It works, but its not as cold as the setting it is on. It blows cold air for a bit, then it switches to room tempurature air then back again.
I told Jolleen that I felt terrible and felt a zombie...which I dont think she understood. But she could tell I was sick. So, I slept most of the rest of the day. I watched a movie when I woke up, but I slept most of the time.

Posted by Phil at 11:57 PM | Permalink

I feel terrible today. So I popped a couple cold pills. Unfortunately they were powerful Anit-Histamines which meant I was literally on drugs and it was obvious. I was supposed to meet John and the gang at the bus station. I was there on time. So were they, but in a different location. So I got on the bus, but they didnt. I thought they were at the other station. They weren't cause when I got to Shi Qi, they weren't there. So I called them from the Fu Hua hotel. They were like CRAP! We will be down in an hour. So that was that. I had told Dawn, a fellow teacher from London, Ontario to meet up with us and bring the Shi Qi contigent. Tanya was teaching, so she wasnt there at the time. While we were waiting Dawn and I walked around walking street and hung out in shops looking at junk. We sat down at this Speaker/TV place and watched this new Chinese movie, The House of Flying Daggers. It has Zhang Ziy and Andy Lau playing arch rivals. The choreography looked kinda kool. I should check it out. It sounded great. :-D
We finally got to meet up with Sean and John. Suzannah ditched us to spend time with Leianna. Its cool, but she was first to say, Lets go to Shi Qi aftter I mentioned it the nite before.
I was felling crappy. I was like a zombie. We were walking around. Met up wtih Tanya and headed to SHADOWS! Shadows is a British Import CD/DVD shop. And its about a 20 minute walk down Walking Street. Me feeling terrible didnt help. On the way there, I found out that some chinese punk bought the guitar I wanted. I am gonna see if they can get another one.
We finally got to the CD shop. They had lots of stuff. To bad I didnt know much of it. So I sat in the corner feeling crappy. Then we went back to a little outdoor eating area. Before that we stopped to get some Medicine Tea. I refused to get any because I had a sip and wanted to vomit right there. We got to the outdoor eating area and had some vegetables...which helped. We played some card games then I had to cop out at 530pm cause I need to go to bed. I got on the bus and headed back.
I got to the house immediately and went straight to bed. I had to teach the next day. I went to bed at 630pm went to sleep immediately.

Posted by Phil at 11:45 PM | Permalink

I got a call from John Irish telling me to me him, Sean, and Suzannah at a resturant to go drinking. Sweet. I met up with them and we talked a bit over some water. I told John everything that happend in Beijing and he told me to go for the refund. It was the travel agencies fault. Which I had always thought. They were just lying. I also told them about my meeting with Richard. And I told them all that I was gonna try to get my contract reduced from 12 months to 6 months. I also said that if something else goes wrong, I am totally leaving. This upset Suzannah because she doesn't want the group to break up and she doesnt want me to let Bond beat me...which I agreee with. She doesnt want this experience ruin what I think of China. I hate to tell her, that it just isn't Bond, its other stuff in China as well, the hotel thing, the travel agency. China is beatin on us. And true, we need to stick thru it so we can say, "I conquered it". I don't want this to beat me, but its doing a pretty good job at kicking my ass. I am glad I came to China though. Its been an experience. I got lots of fots. And I have meet some awesome people. And I got to go to Beijing. Etc. There is alot of stuff that is kool. Just also there is alot that is terrible.
We left that place...The Continental....I alwasy think of Christopher Walken when I go there. We saw Clyde and Mark Lee enter earlier. They were prolly heading to the Snooker bar. So we went upstairs and hung with them for about 15 minutes. Then we headed out to a new bar in town. THE COOL BAR!
At the COOL bar we drank "YEAH" Beer...much better than Budweiser and with a COOLer name. I knew, while we were there that I shouldnt be there cause I was sick. But i did it anyway. After that John came over here, we played some pool and I introduced him to Rathergood.com and The Smurfs - Lost Episode. Very funny stuff. We all planned to head to Shi Qi the next day.

Posted by Phil at 11:33 PM | Permalink

Now, don't take this as me being a mean person. That's his email addy. He is really kool with it.
So, I get back from Beijing and I am thinkin to myself that my whole hotel issue was the last straw. And when the last straw hits the floor, that means I will leave Xiaolan...I will book it and leave and go elsewhere. While I was away, Richard showed up. Since I am a patient man and very trusting, this man is holding that straw off the ground. If anything else happens here to make this straw hit the ground, I am blowing this popsicle stand. I will make like a tree and get outta here.
Richard had been here for about a year and he was taking Bond in a new direction. He was offered a Director of Studies position which he took, however, he needed to go on a forced vacation because Bond got screwed on VISAs due to some issue, so he has been gone for awhile. He just came back and he wnated to meet all the new teachers. And thru his interviews he found out about all the travesties that had happened. Apparently things fell apart when he left. Since he was sorta runninng things before and was the representative of the westerners he was able to deal with Bond and fix problems. When he left it just became a Chinese company again. Now he is back and he told me that he was very surprised and impressed I stuck with all the crap I went thru. He said that his job is to make sure this never happens again. I also told him about what happened in Beijing and told him if anything else goes wrong down here, i have to leave. He completely understood. But he told me that he does not have enuff good teachers to warrant anything bad happening to them making them want to leave. He wants me to stay here for the duration of my contract and he will due his best to ensure my pacifism. According to Peter, Richard is a do-er...he gets things done.
He has already made a good impression on me and I am excited that things may start going well around here. No more having to go to Shi Qi to do stupid lessons. No more classes being told on the last minute. He is also working on trying to find me gong fu lessons. I know its hard, and he has found out just how hard it is. He has 3 working on it, and I myself have about 2 contacts that are searching. He is gonna get me another fone. Sounds kool. I am looking forward. He is also gonna gimme some info on hotels to prove that Government Hotels never let foreigners in that the Travel agency was lying. He also told me to threaten with a lawyer and a newspaper. Apparently that works here. True signs of a civilization...the word "Lawsuit" scares people just as much as "Police".

Posted by Phil at 11:03 PM | Permalink

I just got back from Beijing @ 1am this morning...and boy, are my arms tired.......This was one whirlwind amazing five-day trip. It was filled with gorgeous bueaty, new friends, and disgusting racism. You will understand once I tell ya. Each day, I wrote down things to type up when got home. I have three entries for Oct 1st - 3rd, but I was just too busy and tired to write anything on the 4th and 5th. So, I will be remembering some of it as it goes along. Be prepared, though. There is a lot to read and over 400 pictures to look thru. I also have about 2 hours of video that won't be posted online due to space & downloading issues. I may try to make a DVD. Grab some popcorn, some beverages, your best Neil Diamond album on repeat mode, and try your best to understand my twisted sense of humour...because Beijing was a Heaven & Hell experience. Much like the rest of my China Experience has been, but there was a 80% Heaven percentage to Beijing compared to the 80% Hell percentage i have been dealing with daily. Here goes:

October 1st: Trip to Guangzhou Airport and Lawfull Racism
So I headed to the Flower Hotel about 11am just to make sure I dont miss the bus. I get to the hotel, and who do I see? Lynn with two of her friends. They were trying to get tickets to go somewhere for the holiday. The bus then showed up at 1120am. So, I thru my junk under the bus and hopped on. Went to the back of the bus because that's where white people sit...well, i sit there because its got the most leg room.
So there I am sitting on the bus that will head from Zhongshan to the airport in Guangzhou. All the chinese, parents and children, were staring at me, giggling and talking to each other. "Look! Oh my goodness!! A gweilo!"...etc..etc...etc. I guess I'm the added bonus monkey on the trip. I was thinking, "It kinda sucks that I won't have anyone on the tour that speaks english and that Sean and Suzannah will be on another one"...when just at that moment two girls showed up right as we were about to start shoving off. I noticed as they walked down the aisle that they weren't chinese, they weren't speaking chinese, but they didn't look the common Japanese stereotype. I couldn't hear enough of their conversation to figure out what language it was. It wasn't Chinese, I knew that, but I couldnt tell if it was Koren or Japanese at first. Usually the way I tell the languages apart is that Korean, to me, sounds like a cross between Japanese and Chinese. After that sat down next to me, I figured out that it was Japanese. Turns out that they speak very good english. However, like most non-native english speakers, I speak too fast for them, so I had to make sure I slow down. And they both have been studying Mandarin for one year, so I had my own personal interpreters. SWEET! Better not piss this girls off. Yumi Aoki and Rumi Kita are their names. Throughout the trip we got to know each other pretty well. Hung out alot and took lots of fotos. Turns out that they are Japanese teachers that teach at a local highschool/university. They have been living in Normata Apartments for the past year...thats the same apartment complex as Sean and Mark. So, when I told Suzannah about this, she was so happy. "YES! MORE GIRLS FOR THE GROUP!"
The tour guide started talking to us in Mandarin and she was able to say some things to Rumi and Yumi and thats how she found out that I speak a little Cantonese. So, she started talking. And I just sat there shakin my head...I responded, "Ngoh mmmsec-tang. Ngoh sec-tang yat dee." Everyone proceeded to laugh. I don't laugh at your butchering of the English language...jerkheads. So, our bus ride to Guangzhou was pretty uneventful. Nothing special happened. I started to get to know Yumi and Rumi. Talked a bit. Got to the airport and took a couple fotos. Grabbed a bite to eat. Yumi got stopped by the bag checkers because for some reason she had a pair of scissors in her bag. Hopped on the airplane and headed off. The food was ok. Airplane food.
They had these little TV sets in the backs of the seats so you could watch one of the 7 channels they had to offer. One channel was cartoons - The Monkey King series and Tom & Jerry (Chinese like the crappy Tom n Jerry cartoons for some odd reason - crappy refers to the later versions done in the 60s n 70s not the original). One channel had a chinese movie, so did another. Another channel had "The Prince & Me" a wretched romantic comedy with Julia Stiles and some guy named Turd Ferguson. I will not talk more about it, you have to either see it or read the plot...its crap. They had a history channel so I was able to learn more about Empress Dowager...the psycho lady that basically pissed off all chinese reformists and gave them more reason to take out the Ching Dynasty. It was really interesting. So the plane landed and we hopped on the bus to take us to dinner. They had a stage at this place and there were chinese to dance for us as well as this dude played an awesome song on a piece of grass. Very impressive. Food was great. There were two other Japanese on the tour as well, but they only spoke Japanese, so Yumi and Rumi acted as interpretters for them too. So, we were the foreigner table along with three chinese, a mom, dad, and daugther - who is really into magic...not the card game...and has a splash of blue hair and a skull necklace...awesome! Fight the power sister! She is one of Sean's students.
So, after dinner we headed off to the hotel. I was thinking to myself. "Hmm...well, so far...things have been good. I wonder if this trip will be a positive one or something else may screw it up, like not being able to stay in the hotel. We'll just see..." And I must have ESP or some sort of prophetic power, because as we all began entering, the soldier on guard...yeah, you read it right...the soldier on guard stopped me from entering. And started speaking to me in Beijing-Talk. I coulda taken this guy out easily, but i didnt. The follow is pretty much what i wrote when I finally got a hotel. To let you know, some things have been omitted and some things have been paraphrased:

"It's a shame that all this beauty is wasted on the chinese. [For the majority], they are the worst people I have ever dealt with. Far more worse than the worst of Americans, French, Canadians, Italians, Japanese, and Germans that I have met. I SPIT ON THE GRAVES OF ALL THOSE THAT CAUSE ME DRAMA! I have been in Beijing since 6pm. It started out OK. Once we got to the hotel, all Hell started to break loose...I swear, the last straw has begun to drop.
We pull up to this 5-star hotel which looks like a government building, due to all the security. And sure enough, it is. Me, Yumi, and Rumi were about to enter the revolving door when the "f---mook" guarding the door stopped us. He was saying something to me. Yumi said that all she could make out of what he was blabber was that I was a foreigner and that I couldn't come it. This is where I began to get really pissed.
The tour guides began runing around talking to managers and the guard. They allowed Rumi, Yumi, and I to enter the building but we had to sit in the lobby. These chinese ashholes weren't gonna allow us to stay. WTF! It's Beijing during their biggest tourist season andI am being turned away because I am white!?!??! I can't believe the gall of these pricks! Yumi, Rumi, the elder japanese couple, and I sat in chairs for about 30-45 minutes while the managers and tourguides exchanged words and telephone calls. The Beijing guide would come over from time to time and tell Yumi something and Yumi would interpret.
I realized that they were gonna turn us away because we were foreigners. But then the guide told Yumi to tell everyone not to speak Japanese and then she pointed at me and said something. That's when I realized what was about to happen. The Japanese were going to be allowed to stay, while I, the American, was going to be kicked out, insulted, and disgraced.
OK. Not to toot my own horn here and say Americans are the best...but the last time I checked, its the Japanese that the Chinese Governmen/People still hate, not the Americans. Why would the chinese want to mess up their relations anymore with the US when its their biggest trade partner. So, I talk to Stephen, the guy i spoke with about purchasing the trip, a couple times and he apologized and I told him that I want a refund. I told him how much I was disgraced and stuff, and he said we will talk about it when I get back. Oh, they are soooo gonna hear it from me. So Stephen tells me I can't stay there and that they are looking for another 5-star hotel to put me up since I paid for 5-star and he's apologizing.
The Japanese were allowed to stay, because they looked more chinese then me...obviously. I was kinda upset...briefly...about the fact that Rumi and Yumi did stay. I mean, I know we had only met that afternoon, but I had made the decision that if they got booted and i got to stay, that I wouldn't have stayed. I would go with them. But, they didnt make that decision. I dont' blame them for it, but i thought it would have been a nice gesture. But I can understand why they stayed, it doesnt bother me anymore, just at that time it did.
So, the managers and the guard escorted...and I mean, escorted...like officially escorted me and the tour guides to the street and waived down a taxi. I spit at their feet and gave them the finger. The tour guides then took me to Beijing Railway Hotel. This is a hotel that's a "5-star" so they claim. The Lobby is absolutely gorgeous, but the rooms do not deserve that rating. This room has crappy construction, it is small, the wall paper is torn, there are stains on the metal, many cracked tiles and grout in the bathroom. [they also have horrible food, this was found out the next day].
So, i finally get into this room and try to call Aubri...which doesnt work. She has something wierd going on with her fone# and it pissed me off. Also, the fone number of Lily, Amy's friend, is missing a digit, so I have no way of contacting her. So, I am all alone in Beijing and I don't know how I am gonna contact my friends since they really aren't on my tour. At this point, I am on the verge of tears. I really really really want to leave this God forsaken country. Japan sounds like a good option. I mean, at least they have Shorinji Kempo. If this is how I am treated in the capital of China, the rest of china can't be any different. The south and the north treat me terribly. What is a gweilo to do.
So, I get this call from Oscar Zhang, the head English Tour guide at the company. He asks me to come downstairs into the lobby. I get downstairs and there sits my two tour guides from Xiaolan and Beijing, some girl, Oscar, another woman who is the head of management and she speaks good english, and i think the head of the company was sitting next too me...oh and he was wearing a purple velour jumpsuit. I wonder if he came straight from a breakdancing class.
They asked me how I felt, and I told them exactly how I felt. I told them off and told them that I want a refund and that I will deal with that in Xiaolan when I get back. They proceed to tell me the cause of the trouble after that. The government sent out an edict to all its state run/private hotels banning all foreigners for the week. Why do you ask? Well, because exactly 55 years ago, a group of chinese decided to take over the country. And this week was the 55th aniversary. [the explanation is more graphic]. They claimed that they received this edict while we were at dinner and couldn't call the tour guide in time to change it. [yeah, right. thats complete bull, because I have just done some research since i got back home and found out that foreigners aren't allowed in government run hotels unless they have special permission]
I had them call Mountain so I could somehow let someone I know what is going on. Just in case something worse happens. I also told him, and made it obvious to the people around me, that I would need his help to get a refund. After talking to them, I talked with the English Tour guide and told him how much trouble i have had with the agency already up to this point. I wanted to express my full feelings, but i think what I had to say was too hateful and intense to put into words and make it understandable to them. But I do know I was disgraced, humiliated, and a victim of racial hate. The tour people said, "It's the government, not the people." I used to believe this statement until tonite. i feel so alone and humiliated. Wars have been started over less and the chinese don't deserve the beautry of what I have seen so far. How can a culture be in such disarray, but their art is so gorgeous. I hope this country burns for its crimes against common courtesy.

October 2nd 2004, 2nd Day in Beijing.

Well, this day didn't start off the best. I woke up at 6am to get ready for leaving at 7am. That didnt bother me. But the breakfast did. I wanted to throw it up. It tasted like English food. No taste and just crap. Only one item was good. That was this peice of bread that was sort of greasy. It wasn't great, but it was the only good thing. Not the kind of thing you expect from a 5-star hotel (well, this is actually a 3-star hotel..more on that later) So, the bus met me at the entrance of the building and I entered while scowling at the tour guides. Off we went to this park. I thought we were going to Tiannanmen Square first thing, but apparently we went backwards on the schedual. We headed to the Temple of Heaven and the associated park. All morning I was looking for Sean and Suzannah, thinking they were doing the same thing as us.
The bus pulled up and we exited. Apparently alot of other tour groups were doing our same tour. Strange how they schedual everything at the same time around here. So, we stood at the entrance for about 15 minutes while the tour guide got stuff squared away. Then we were taken into the park where I saw some bizarre things. Like a group of old people learning ballroom waltz. That's right, ballroom waltz lessons...in a park. Go figure. We followed the group and I realized right off the bat that I would never be able to understand anything she said, which was good in a way. She was gather the group in one area and talk about one thing for an extended amount of time and i used that time to scamper off and explore. Which ROCKED! So, one of the first areas of the park we stopped was right before the entrance to the Temple of Heaven Area. This is where the Seven Heaven Stones are, the people practicing taiji, and the gift shop selling Teletubbies. Why were they selling Teletubbies? You got me. So, while the tour guide was discussing the Seven Stones for a matter of minutes, a scampered across the way to where some old people were doing some Qi Gong and this old lady was playing hackysack by herself. So, I offered my presence and began playing with her. Then her friend showed up and we had a little group going. I was watching my tour group while doing this so I could see when they began to leave. I got about a good 7 minutes play time with the locals. I ran back when i saw them shove off. We headed into the Temple of Heaven area. This was really kool. There isn't much to say, though, I mean, I went exploring all over the place with Yumi and Rumi. The fotos say all there was to think and feel while we were there. However, in this area, I went to the gift shop looking for DV Tapes for my video camera and they wanted about 125 yuan, which is a total rip. I didn't need my camera yet, so i didnt get it. Then we headed to a different area with more temples and stuff to see.
The six dragon tree. This was a gnarly old tree who's trunk was all...gnarled...and it made it look as though six dragons were sprouting out of the ground making up the tree. So, these freaks took this as a sign that this tree was spiritual and people tried to feel the Qi emanating from the tree. The would hold their hands up and close their eyes and look like they were in a cult. And the tour guide said something that it brings good fortune, so all the tour group proceeded to worship this tree.
There was another area that we were just chilling in for about five minutes before entering another set of temples. There were these really cute little girls wearing these empress/rich people headresses that you will see in the foto section. They were so cute. I tried to take a foto of one girl, and she began crying. I was able to find another girl though. On we went to another temple area.
That's when we arrived at the Point Closest to Heaven. We walked around this area and tried to stand on the point closest to Heaven. I said tried, because this is where I discovered just how rude and pushy the chinese really are. So much pushing and shoving. I had a foto of me on the point, but i was pushed out of the way of the camera and the shot was ruined. Classy.
Then before we left I took a foto with Yumi and Rumi holding the fingers in the Victory pose. Check out the foto section. We then headed for the buses. Another kool thing about these temples is that the stairs leading up to them have these things on the side of the stairs that are slanted slopes. And they are marble, yet, they are really smooth from people walking on them over the years, so they are very slippery. So the kids of the group were playing with these. Sliding down them and jumping on them. And since I am a big kid, I did it as well. It was pretty kool. It was like snowboarding. Thats what I felt like I was doing it. Around this time, i started to bond with the kids in the tour. They all started to play with me.
From there we headed to a garden area. This was the garden area and home of Soong Ching Ling, Sun Yat Sen's widow. After his death in 1925? i think 1925...she did lots of stuff for china. She was following thru with his plans and then became allied with the Communist Party and sometime in the 50s, the Party set up this house for her and area where she was able to promote good relations and make headway with new organizations to help children. There was this whole museum there. It was pretty amazing to see all of what she did. A very determined and strong woman. Good role model. The garden area was beautiful. See the fotos. From there, I noticed that the Xiaolan tour guide was...following me, or keeping an eye on me. Making sure that I dont get into trouble. And so she kept trying to herd me to the bus, but I kept running off to take fotos of the area. Its ok though, 75% of the group was still in the museum. What's up Xiaolan Tour Guide? You trying to seperate me from my tour group piers? I dont think so. So I slapped her.
No, I didn't slap her. It was a joke. Like the spitting at the feet of the Communist guard and manager of the hotel that kicked me out from the night before. Come on, I aint that stupid. Don't read everything so seriously.
Then we headed off to lunch. Which was really good. And on the way there, we drove by a Comic Book Store which advertised, TRANSFORMERS. So, I got all excited and took a foto.
Lunch was good. I think one of the waiters made a mistake, because the waitress was screaming at him in front of everyone. I was like, "Tone it down, lady."
During this time I was thinking, "How am I gonna find Suzannah and Sean. They are seeing the same sites, but I dont know at what times. I guess i got to keep my eyes open." After lunch we hopped on a bus and headed towards the center of the city. And of course, middle of the day in Beijing during vacation week, we got in a traffic jam. We were stopping and going for a while. We came to near the northern entrance of the Forbidden City. As I sat there staring out the window, I was thinking, "Just my luck on this trip, we will be driving along on the bus and I will be looking out the window and I will see Sean and Suzannah walk by. And of course, i will be stuck in this bus and not be able to alert them or give them this letterhead from my hotel that I brought along with me to give them the fone number." About five minutes later while I was bored in this hot bus, I see Sean and Suzannah stroll on by on the sidewalk. I jumped and yelled. I ran up to the front of the bus and interupted the tour guide telling her I need to get off the bus. I NEED TO GET OFF THE BUS. We had been stuck in the left hand turn lane for about 20 minutes and there was still a ways to go. I was tellling them to hurry and let me off. But they wouldnt have it. So I went to the back of the bus told Yumi and Rumi. Then they went up and told the tour guide that my friends have no way to contact me in Beijing and that I had to give them the info. So they decided to let me out. They told me to be ready the next day at 7AM and I was like, "You're stuck in traffic, i will be right back."
By this time, I figured Sean and Suzannah would be way up by the entrance, or prolly entered the city. So I started to run as fast as I can down the street, running by all these tourists and chinese and thru cars stuck in traffic. It was like a movie. I was just hauling. I went past where our bus was trying to turn left, right at the entrance area of the Forbidden City and I couldnt see my friends, so I kept running on. I was jumping over benches and stuff. I got a couple car honks and strange looks. "There's a laowei running in the streets!!! AAAAAH CALL THE COPS!!!!" So I got to the next intersection and no sign of them. "DAMN! I lost them. S.O.B.!" So, now, I had to run back and catch the bus before it turned left and disappeared. So, there I started running back as fast as I could. When I got to the left turn intersection the bus was turning left and I could see people in the windows pointing to the left and the kids were jumping up and down, so I cut thru traffic and headed that way. I was lucky her becuase the bus wasn't going anywhere, it was another traffic jam, no need to worrry. So I began to head to the bus, but that's when I say Sean and Suzannah standing against the wall waiting for their bus. I felt so relieved. I was still running thru the packed crowd and I just jumped up out of all these midget chinese people and yelled out their names. Suzannah said, "Oh hey, its Phil." nonchalantly, and then it clicked and realized what was going on and they were both surprised to see me.
I told them how I saw them from the bus and ran everywhere. I gave them the letter head and told them to call me. I told them I got kicked out of the hotel and that the first nite was terrible. And then like that I ran to the bus, but people were getting out. We were heading to the Goo Gun gardens across the street. LOL. I was like...oh. All that for nothing. Well, I got some good exercise and woke up a little. My lungs were burning. I introduced Sean and Suzannah to Yumi and Rumi and talked with them a bit more. (Later on, Suzannah said that the whole experience of me running and yelling their name was surreal. What were the odds of that happening.) I think at this point the tour people really thought I was crazy. So we headed into Goo Gun.
Goo Gun, the largest garden in the world. Its across the street from the north entrance of the Forbidden City. We didnt get to hang out much in there. I would have liked to. Very pretty. I got some good shots of where I went though. Everyone in the tour group grab some meat on a stick. It was good. I had random chinese people ask to take a foto with me. Since I am a monkey and all, they want their foto taken with a foreigner. Since I was warned about this, I wasnt surprised or too offended. It was fun. I also took a foto with two of the kids from the tour group. I picked them up and put them on either side of myself. Pretty kool foto.
All the while we were visiting these areas, i would check the stands and find out prices on DV Tapes. I would offer no more than 30 and that would make the people irrate. I laughed at them. Then the tour group would be leaving and I would have to go, but then the people at the stands would start throwing numbers out to get me to stay and buy their product. Like they were desperate. Thats the best way to haggle, get a group to say you are leaving and act like you need to go, people will go crazy and offer you at a fraction of the cost. LOL. I was told that the DV Tapes cost in stores about 25 yuan, but I couldnt find any stores with that price. Ugh. So i was worried because my battery on my Canon Digital camera was running out and we were about to enter the Forbidden City / Palace. So I was searching everywhere for a tape. Nowhere.
We entered the entrance and looked at all the stands. Nothing. While the group was taking a potty break, I spotted a guy with a video camera video taping our group for the past 20 minutes. I went over and asked if he had any extra tapes I would pay for. Thats when "Papa", the guy who serves us food at the resturants, just gave me one from his backpack. I was like, "Oh yeah! You got a camera too." Sweet. Lucky me. My digital still had some juice left and I was conserving it. I started to use my Video camera as well. i looked like a total tourist.
I was amazed by everything in Forbidden City. Everything was so pretty and its really intense to see all this stuff after you have seen it in movies and junk like that. And to have heard its history. But what also made the experience was dealing with chinese. The severity of the pushing, shoving, and rudeness was absolutely appaling. How do these people exist like this? I had so many shoulders shove into me and knocked around, of course I was about to escape most of it, but the other members in teh tour group were getting knocked everywhere. And no apologies. It was odd. All these chinese tourists were rude and pushy. However, the chinese in my tour group weren't, they were well behaved. I was surprised by this. It may be because they had foreigners on the tour and they wanted to be in their best behaviour...maybe. Or maybe they were just kool. Also, there is not much to talk about here, but you need to see the fotos to understand everything ...and see the video.
So at times there was time we were waiting around, i would beat up on the kids..or the kids would try to beat up on me and I would retaliate. So, i played around with them. Picking them up and throwing them into walls. Stuff like that. The parents loved it! I took a couple fotos with them on a wall. Nice shot. Then as we waited to exit the City, the kids were trying to use gong fu on me, so I was like, "IT'S ON NOW!" I took off my bag, and cameras, and sweatshirt, gave them to Yumi and Rumi, and went psycho on these kids. I started beating up on them with my Mantis style and thru in some Dragon, then proceeded to my Monkey Style and this made them going running and I would chase them. And that CameraDude videotaped the whole thing....but totally cut it out of the VCD he made for the group the next nite. I was livid. So i hung him from his toes on a clothes line.
After we left the City, we headed to the bus and met two Americans searching for Tiannanmen Square. We offered them to go with us, because we were headed there, but we were taking our bus. They declined but they did walk with us for about 10 minutes.
We finally got to Tiannanmen Square. This was also kinda kool. You have seen fotos and everything, and video...from 15 years ago, so you try and fit it all into perspective and the locations of everything. We walked around and I was told to watch my stuff. "Don't worry, yo! I knows whats up." We took a group foto and then walked to the area where we could see the daily Flag lowering. The go thru this huge ceremony in raising it and lowering it. I got it on video. But the hard part was getting to where we could see it. It was uber-packed. People everywhere pushing and shoving. We were on the edge next to a bunch of propaganda for the chinese space program. Then we watched the flag. It was so crowded that everyone behind me for about 6 feet were watching the ceremony on my LCD screen. I was able to raise my camera above everyone else...because the chinese are short.
After this we headed to this giant shopping mall. It was about a 30 minute walk to the mall. We got there about 7pm. We had 1.5 hours to eat and shop. Yumi, Rumi, and I walked around looked at stuff and ate pizza. I visited a Sony shop and tried to get a DV Tape but it was 60 yuan. Screw that. Went to a kodak store, but thye didnt have any. We walked alot. Then headed back to the bus. The bus then took us back to the hotels. I was dropped off first.
I asked the bell-hop where I could get fotos transfered to a CD-R locally. Since the people at the front desk spoke very little english, I had to show them and perform for them what I wanted. They got the hint very quickly and about 100 yards from the hotel entrance, there was a kodak shop that would do it for 10 yaun. Great!
I went back to the hotel and finally got a message that Sean and Suzannah called. They were in Room 402 at this other hotel. So, I called and said room 402. I was connected to some chinese couple. I apologized and called again. I said room 402 and they connected me again to the same couple. UGH! WTF! Room 402. So I went to the front desk to see who took the message. While I was there, Sean called and I talked to him at the front desk. Sean said that they were in room 402. He doesnt know why the hotel was doing that. They are crazy. And everytime I called them again, I would get into arguements that room 402 didnt have chinese people in it but foreigners. I only got Sean once...i got the chinese poeple about 4 times. UGH!
I also tried to call Aubri, but it didnt work.
So, Sean and I talked for a bit. We discussed where we could go meet up at. It was a Saturday nite in Beijing and we wanted to go to a club. He mentioned that there was a club talked about in his travel book called, "N.A.S.A.". Go figure. So, I got the intersection and everything and all the area landmarks I could get over the fone. We said that if we didnt meet up by a certain time, then to scrap the plans and head home. I went to the front desk lady and asked her where she could point this out on a map. She gave me a big map of Beijing, in chinese no less, and circled the hotel, Sean & Suzannah's hotel, Tiannanmen, and this club area. A "famous club" apparently. She had no idea what I was talking about so I tried to show her what I was talking about by mimicing what you do at a dance club: pay the door man, dance to bad music...etc. She was looking at me like I was a retard...and at that point, I prolly looked like one. So I got all this information from her and hailed a cab. This is when I realized cabbies in Beijing know nothing.
I showed him where I wanted to go and he did nothing but scratch his head. To make a seriously long story short, we never found it. We were in the area, but no club. First off, the driver didn't understand the location. He was driving everywhere and asking other drivers. i believe we stopped five times so he could converse with other cabbies. So, after about 40 minutes of driving around I told him to take me home. Luckily he didnt' charge me anything. I was very grateful for that. I got back to my room and went to bed. Around 130am, i think, Sean called me and said they couldn't find the place either and that they actually got lost for a short time. I was in a sleep haze so I was just agreeing and saying nonsense. But we planned to get together the next nite.

October 3rd 2004, third day in Beijing

This day was really kool. I woke up at 630am and skipped breakfast. Today was the day we were heading to the Great Wall. My camera is completely charged up and so is my video camera. So i hop on the bus and we head off. It was a total of about 1.5 hours to get there, but I was sleeping most of the way. It is kinda hard to fall asleep when the tour guide likes to talk alot and the speaker is next to your head. In that mode when you are half asleep/half awake, my mind was doing its own translations for the things she was saying in Mandarin. At first I thought, "Holly crap! I can understand this!" I was all excited. It didn't make any sense though. But since I was tired, it did make sense. And it turns out that I wasn't interpreting the chinese correctly, I mean, I doubt the tour guide was saying, "He-Man Bubble Bath and Tampons like google bears after they crap rainbows. Our miscretin johnny not have a good happy banana boat joke jumpy..." etc.etc. This is what I was hearing in my head while trying to fall asleep. Then I fell asleep.
I woke up again as the bus was going the opposite way on the highway due to a traffic jam. Talk about rude awakenings. The route to the great wall was jammed due to an accident I think, so we went around the back way. It was pretty cool because there were no other buses the way we went and we were driving thru real towns. We then came to where I think the wall starts in Beijing. It was great to see. Very amazing. We pulled up and parked and I ran out and got some fotos, video, water, and breakfast. So, we walked around and told we would have a total of 2 hours at the wall. "WHAT!?!?!? 2 hours!? That isn't enuff to take in this structure of extrodinary magnitude?!" Oh well, I made the best of it I think. Rumi, Yumi, and I book up the wall as quickly as we could. Just kept going and going. Stopped by and too a foto with a Terracotta warrior. Check out that foto, he's got my sunglasses on. We continued our ascent. I was taking pictures constantly. There was this kool pagoda/temple on the ridge that I kept looking at. I wanted to go there. We kept climbing. We got to a point where Rumi just couldn't go on. She isn't a very active girl normally so it was tuff on her, but Yumi was a sports kid so we pressed on. We were climbing up all the outposts. The stairs in the outposts were much more steeper and narrower than on the wall. Kinda freaky. check out the fotos.
At one outpost that had a big flat top, I decided I needed to do Taiji on the Great Wall of China. So, i didnt care, but in front of 3 Party Soldiers and about 6 tourists I began doing the form. Yumi grabbed my video camera and started taping me. It rules. There were these two cute kids I was trying to talk to while doing the form but they were afraid of me. Yumi was talking to them a bit. I think some of the people commented that I looked good. But i dunno. They were prolly thinking, "Who is this gweilo disrespecting our heritage..." Thing is I was respecting it more than the chinese ever could. giggle. I know that.
After that we climbed a bit more then it was coming on to about 30 minutes left. We decided to run down the steps. Just kidding. we would have died. We started walking down. Man, on the way up, it wasn't that crowded, i mean there were people, lots of people, but you could manuever around them. On the way down is was much more crowded becaues all the people that had gotten there in the last two hours were trying to get up. There was a traffic jam of people trying to get up the wall as I was going down. I was thankful that we got there earlier. Happy Day.
We met up with Rumi and a couple others from the tour group and continued the descent. We grabbed some uber-spicy meat on a stick and hopped on the bus.
While on the bus heading to a Jade Shop, I showed the kids the Taiji I was doing and they were amazed. They told their parents and their parents laughed. Impressed, maybe. Thats when we pulled up to the Jade shop. Now. The Jade shop. First off, I thought it was kool. There were these sculptures of a chinese sailing ship, a dragon, a buddha, some grapes. It was really kool. I was very impressed. But then I saw the machine that made them. I was let down. It woulda been so cool for those to be carved by hand. They proceeded to lecture the group on how to tell real jade from fake jade. Real jade makes a high "ping" sound when you hit it on something. So, since I had no clue what they were talking about at the time, I went off exploring. There was this Buddha statuette that had a hand print pad for you to place your hand on. It would telll you your fortune by reading the lines in your hand. Its eyes were glowing and it was freaky. So i didn't do it. But i took fotos. Then I headed back to meet up with the group who were heading into the Jade shop. I stopped to take a foto of Rumi and Yumi and that's when I saw something.
That something made me want to throw up, tell an attendent, and take fotos. There was this kid, prolly 6 or 7 years old, pissing on the wall behind the door and his father tapping his back telling him to hurry up. I was livid! "THERE IS A KID PISSING ON THE WALL...INDOORS! WTF!" How can you be that sick, insensitive, stupid, or un-housebroken! I don't care the differences between Chinese and American culture...YOU DON'T PISS ON WALLS INDOORS! That's just wrong! Right there I knew I could never fully like this culture. And the father was allowing this to take place. So, I ran and grabbed a worker but unfortunately the father and son took off by the time I got back with an employee. At first they had no idea what I was talking about...so....I had to mimic it for them. So, I mimiced the removal of pants and urinating on the wall. They understood at the same time when i showed them the mess that was made. The look on the ladies face was like..."not again". WHAT! This happens alot?! How about you people start learning manners.
We hung out at the Jade shop some more. I was bored. Its just more expensive crap that you don't need taking up space. Wasteful. I mean, everywhere I go, I keep my eyes open for something that I would give as presents, but nothing there made me think of something i could give to friends or family. Junk shop.
After the Junk shop...I mean Jade shop. We headed out to lunch....which was next door. Now this was pretty shocking as well. It was at this place that holds 3000 people called "The Friendship Hall" which totally does not fit...it should have been called, "The Narrow-minded Arrogant Hall" because thats what the people were like trying to get in there. I was disgusted. While waiting in the area before getting into the hall, it was like being at a concert. It was like being at stage front of a concert...it was like being at stage front of a concert with a mosh-pit. These bastards were pushing and shoving each other all over the place just so they could get in to eat. No order whatsoever. There were so many people in this building that it was unbelievably hot. The one good thing about this was the cute little kids that I was catching the attention of. They were playing "Now you see me, now you don't" with me and I took a foto of some of them. Super cute. I also took some fotos of the waiting area. amazing.
We get into the hall ourselves to eat. We sit down and the wait staff is rushing us big time. Finish and leave. The wait staff saw that one of our dishes was 3/4 of the way done and she began to take it when Rumi said she wasn't done and the waitress tried to stop taking the plate and in doing so spilled it all over the table. This led us to laugh and then take a foto of me covering my mouth as food is spilled everywhere. Very funny. Around this time the kids were all talking to me because i was the white monkey. :-) So I was talking back to them and Rumi when to take a foto of me with the kids, so I grabbed one of their heads and made it look as though I was biting into it. If you notice behind me, the mother of the kid is laughing her head off. I guess she is happy that a gweilo is about to eat her son's brain. Good times.
Then we headed out of "The Narrow-Minded Arrogant Hall" and headed to the buses. We travelled off to the Ming-Tombs. This was bittersweet. The set up of everything outdoors for the Ming Tombs was gorgeous. The english translations of all the warnings were super funny because they made no sense. But then when we got to the actual tombs, it was a major let down. It was just a bunch of concrete. Nothing special. But outdoors was cool. We took a bunch of funny fotos n stuff. Some interesting fotos that we took were me "kissing" the mouth of a giant turtle, stradling the pigs head, acting out as the monkey king in a tree - this one got laughs from some chinese present. We headed back to the buses where the tour guide talked about the apple orchard. They had these little apples that you eat. I tried one and it gave me an upset stomach for about 20 minutes. Since I wasnt to fond of the apples I started to use them in other ways. I began pelting the kids with the apples. And the kids began throwing them back and we were chasing each other. Lots of fun.
I aslo haggled for a DV Tape. It started at 80 but I talked her down to 35. She wouldn't go past 35 and all the women on the tour were trying to get me to not do it, but i needed the tape and I didnt see if for cheaper anywhere. So, the woman was really persistent about 35 and she was making me laugh so i was like, thanks for the enjoyment and gave her the extra 5 kwai. It was worth it.
Once we found the bus, which was about a 10 minute ordeal we headed out to dinner at this performance resturant. On the way there, I noticed a huge dragon head carved out of a cliff. No one else noticed it. I caught it out of the corner of my eye. Guess it isnt a tourist attraction. No one was there. The food was good at the resturant. They had a guy dressed as Mao Zhedong. Apparently he was doing a dead on impression of the guy. I dunno what he sounded like so it didnt do much for me. After dinner ended, I ran a took a foto of this giant monkey statue down the street. Then hopped on the bus.
On the way home they showed the VCD of the day before at the Forbidden City. Of course the guy cut the best footage of me beating up on the kids. I am sure everyone would ahve loved to see that.
I got back to the hotel and checked my email at the business office. I had an email from Aubri asking me why i havent gotten a hold of her yet, so I emailed her back and told her. No response. Then I headed to my room. Got a call from Sean and Suzannah. I was gonna head over there. Went downstairs to the Business Center, made them re-open it, becuase they closed it too early. Got some information and printed it up. Then they tried to get me to pay 50 yuan for printing out 2 pages. I said "Hell no!" I ain't paying 50 yuan for 2 pages of print out info. The price for use of the center was 1yuan a minute for internet. So i gave her a total of 15 yuan. I ain't paying more. She agreed after I raised a big stink. Hey...I think I am getting the hang of this haggling thing. I then headed off to the hotel and the driver knew where to go. I was following the map to make sure he was going the right way. Sweet. He knew what was up. Going home was a different story. The driver got lost while trying to find my hotel. Pathetic.
Well, i was at Suzannah and Sean's and we just stayed in and drank some 50 yuan Bei-Ju that i bought for the bottle that day at a candy store while we played 20 questions and just relaxed. We then went out walking around Beijing at about 1am. It was enjoyable. Just chilling. "I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE LOOKED, SUZANNAH!" Inside joke. I then headed home.

October 4th, 2004 - Fourth day in Beijing.

Well, this morning was different. I literally woke up at 6:58 AM. Two minutes before the bus was supposed to show up. So I freaked. I threw on some clean clothes and brushed my teeth and threw my camera and stuff together. I ran to the elevator and got to the bottom of the floor. I ran into the dinning area and grabbed a couple pieces of bread and dumplings. The dumplings were awful. Then I went outside expecting to see the bus waiting. Well, they weren't waiting, they were just pulling up. So, it was all good. Got on the bus and we headed to some place that I didnt know what it was. When we got there, it was super crowded and it took us about 10 minutes to get in. When we did get in, the place was gorgeous. It turns out that this is the park and recreation area of the Summer Palace and where the prince's house was, when he was barricaded in and starved to death by his mother - Empress Dowager. home of the Summer Palace. That aside...along with the 150,000 peasants forced to create the man-made lake and build everything, the place was pretty gorgeous. It is said to be a place of retreat for the heart...or a place where your heart is at peace...i can't remember the phrase. I guess if there were no other people around spoiling the place and if you never knew about the 150,000 peasants, then yeah, my heart would be at peace. But that would mean my heart isn't at peace...hmm...i guess that is a whole other journal entry. ;-)
So, we were walking around this area. We were taken to one building, had things told to us, and then taken to another. This went on alot. The view was gorgeous, the lake, the buildings, the flowers, the landscaping. There was this big pond with a bridge over it that I climbed down the rocks down to the surface of the pond to take some pictures. We also took a bunch of pictures by the lake. Very pretty. Rumi, Yumi, and I climbed this rock mound and took some "martial stance" pictures. Pretty much they were trying to do Shorinji Kempo stances I showed them. "Hey, you're Japanese, you should know this! Just like how all Chinese should know gong fu." There was this old dude doing taiji in front of this rock mound prior to our foto shot. For some reason, whenever we take fotos, we attract chinese audiences. They just stare at us...look at the people doing something different...
We took some more funny pictures. There is one of Rumi "breaking" a window on one of the pathways. The group walked around looking at more buildings and listening to the tour guide while I went off and caused trouble by running down the alleys, kicking old ladies, stealing candy from small children, and acting like a hoodlum. I graffitied, "Da Moon Rules #1" across the summer palace doors.
We had some free time while outside the entrance to the Summer Palace. I wanted to go see it, but we didnt have enuff time or money. I was kinda sad that we couldn't actually go to the palace, but I am sure that would have taken another hour and we had just spent about 2 hours walking around the grounds. During this free time we had outside, i took some fotos of the Palace, chased women, and beat up children. Then Rumi and Yumi tried to throw me over the fence into the water...but since they are small and weak, they couldn't even lift my legs. Funny girls. Then we got lost. We couldn't find the group. So after about 10 minutes of searching, Yumi had called the tour guide, and she came and found us. We then met up with them and headed out. As we were leaving, we traversed these cool bridges which I took fotos of. We seemed to exit into an alley way though. And then we walked thru a slummy area to underneath an overpass where we realized that a few of the group went missing in that huge human gridlock at the exit of the Summer Palace Grounds.
The bus was not too far from the overpass, and it was kool under there. This is where I got to beat up on more of the kids and where they all showed that they had bonded with me. Up until then, there were two...older...boys. Basically, they were "too cool" to hang out with gweilo. But after they realized that I was totally hardcore, they fell into my trap. And got their butts beaten! They were all talking and playing with me. I was picking them at throwing them at each other. The parents could do nothing but laugh. I was like, "Sweet! These parents will let me beat up their kids! AWESOME! I should be getting paid for this!" OOOOOOH!!! Job opportunity for when I get back to the states. "Child Beating Services" I will make a fortune. See the fotos of us under the bridge in the foto section. Its the ones with the group of kids and one is wearing my sunglasses.
After this we headed to lunch. It was an early lunch. It was just a bit before 11am. We were gonna beat the rush. It was fine with me, all I had was a piece of fried chicken at the palace grounds and some bread that morning. Lunch was pretty good. Everyday, for lunch and dinner, we have been getting mostly the same thing. I dont have a problem, its all slightly different. But still really good. I love fried chinese vegetables with minced garlic....drool. After that good meal, I need to use the restroom. However, it was down the street. A public toilet in slummy china...this aint gonna be good.
And it wasn't. It was smelly and dirty. And crowded. No doors whatsoever. I'm gonna hold it. So I did.
We jumped on the bus and headed out.
Now, we headed out to a procelain shop. Great. Another junk shop. Ugh. These stupid shops were beginning to irritate me. I mean, I am in Beijing. I want to see Beijing. Why are we going to see this stuff. I mean, I feel bad because I called this crap. Its not...this stuff is impressive. It is. I never knew the intensity of perfection these people deal with. All they do is work on the same things. You have to be totally anal retentive to enjoy this. Lots of precision work on small things. What impressed me about this place was that it was all done by hand. No machines, like the Jade shop. The only problem was...all they worked on was vases. I mean, how many vases do you need? There was an art area that I did like though, too bad all the pictures and statues were over 15000 yuan. Very expensive. But gorgeous. BUT NO CAMERAS! There was a small duplication of the Nine Dragon Wall (look for the actual pictures in the Day 5 gallery of the real wall and the Stitches Album). Would be cool too have...Mom, Dad? Could you send more money :-).
So, i was looking for gifts in this area, but i didnt find anything that shouted out anyone i knew. Ugh. And since I dont have much chinese money yet, I can't get the cool gifts. Sorry people. So i bought some ice cream and kicked people in their ankles. Not really. Just Rumi and Yumi...and the kids. Then we headed out.
We were headed to the Foreign Palace Ruins. Check out the fotos. We had to take this little overside golf cart to get there. It was about a 10 minute drive. Each of the carts held about 20 people. While waiting for these carts, i saw Sean and Suzannah down the street. They were waiting for one so I ran and chatted with them for a bit. There was some kool stuff there as well. Lots of...you guessed it...ruins. I was lucky, the sun was out the whole time I was in Beijing, so all the fotos look really good. The area was very pretty. I was walking around alot just looking at the ruins. These palaces were built for foreign guests i think in the 1800s and the models of them showed that they were huge and gorgeous. Victorian or Elizabethian style, i think - i have no clue. But during the mid-1800s, the British, backed by American and French interests destroyed the palaces during a raid in Beijing. I think this was in retaliation to the fact that China tried to expel foreign interests and the interests retaliated and burned a bunch of stuff including the original summer palace. I think this was the time that the British also got a hold of Hong Kong. This was of course, long before the Boxer Rebellion...crazy ninjas.
We took some fotos there and chased the kids around the maze that we happened upon. There is this kool maze, check out the fotos. At the center is this big marble pavilion. Very nice. We traveled the maze and cheated by hopping on the walls. After this was done, we headed out down the street to go to some Chinese acrobatic show. I was excited because I thought it was gonna be full out acrobatics like in that Circus O'lay...or whatever. Nope, it was just ok. It actually wasn't very good. I mean, I had already seen half of it done during the Mid-Autumn Festival in Zhongshan Gardens, only that was much better. Here, it just wasnt as good. The one kool thing was this little kid did a bunch of handstand balancing trix with bricks. Very impressive. That was first.
Then, what made me shake my head and laugh was a "Shaolin Monk" demonstartion. All the chinese int he audience were amazed when they said Shaolin. Too bad these guys were frauds, their uniforms didn't even match the Shaolin uniform. They didnt even know really any gong fu either. My staff work far exceedes theirs. They were just using the image of Shaolin to make their show seem more impressive. They bent a dual sided spear with their throats, while, hard to do, is only a parlor trick that doesnt require any martial training. They took a big broadsword with a dull edge and placed it on a guys stomach then hit it with a hammer. And what do you know. It didnt cut him...hmmm...perhaps its because it was placed on his body to begin with.... What else, oh ,the guy bent a peice of metal by hitting it on his head...ooooh. I have done that....I am sure it just takes practice to make it not hurt.
There was also a girl that did the barrel on the foot trick. It was good, just sloppy. It just was not impressive. So we left and the chinese in the tour group asked what I thought and I said, "bu hou" (no good) They were all like, really? I told them that I saw better and that the Shaolin demonstration was wretched. They giggled.
Thats when I saw one of the mothers wearing a Snoofy shirt. Not a Snoopy shirt, a Snoofy shirt. So I took a picture. I saw Sean and Suzannah walk by so i ran over and chatted with them. We talked a bit then we had to split up again.
We got in line and boarded another cart. Headed back towards the buses. Once we got there, we had time for a foto op. Another martial art stance foto that Yumi and Rumi and I wanted. This time chinese gong fu stances. At first it was just the three of us and the kids, then the parents joined in and it was a big hulllabaloo. Nice fotos though. Both are in the gallery. I messed up my Mantis stance though. I had my knee too far forward on one.
Then we headed back to the city for another Chinese Pharmacy. I found out later that these Pharmacy stops, Jade and Porcelain shop stops are government mandates for any Beijing Tour. Trying to get the tourists to spend money. Very tricky. Yumi, Rumi, and I skipped out on the show. Then headed across the street. After playing with a dog and performing wrist locks on them, we headed back to the bus where I got to beat up on the kids that had skipped out of the show. Rumi took a foto of me with the kids. She later printed it up for me and offered it to me as a gift. AAAAWWWW. Then we headed to dinner.
We got there and apparently they were super busy and the service was terrible. I didnt care, i wasnt' too hungry...until the food showed up. IT WAS SOOOOOO GOOD! They had this Sweet n Sour Fried Fish that was just soo good. Oh...it was like eatiing healthy candy. There was also Sweet n Sour Fried Shrimp that I couldnt stop eating. Yummy. Food is sooo good here. We then headed down to the buses. This is where I found out that the bus driver was Muslim...it was very awkward too. He found out from the tour guide that I was American. This was how it went...

"Oh, Mei-Go Ren (American) ! Mei-Go Ren? (pointing finger at me)"
- Shi (means yes, i responded smiling), Mei-Go Ren.
he was pointing at himself "Muslim...Muslim"
- (I didnt quite understand at first cause i couldn't understand what he was saying.)
"Muslim" (pointing at himself...this time I understood, nodding my head)
-Shi (but the he topped it off and made it super uncomfortable by doing this...)
"Musilim...Iraq...EH EH EH EH EH EH EH (holding his hands in the shape of a machine gun and making the sound effect of a machine gun) Muslim...Wo shi Muslim!" ( jerk his thumb at himself, looking proud and looking at me as though accusing me of the war)
-I thought, "....great....this is really awkward...too bad the Iraq war isn't a religious war, Retard!" what i said was this...."ooooooooh, shi. Iraq war...bu hou, han bu hou" (means bad)
(this seemed to make him happy and he laughed and slapped his hand on my back)

So, after that awkward conversation, i was ready to get back on the bus and head home. I got back to the hotel and checked my email. Aubri had responded and told me exactly how to call her. So i did. I got a hold of her and we planned to meet at 1030 at Tiannanmen Square. I spent about 40 minutes trying to call Sean and Suzannah trying to tell them where too meet us. At 10pm right before I was about to leave, I got thru to them. They had just gotten home from walking and shopping. I told them where to go, and they were like, we are crashing. Well, they should come out because they would have gotten to party like we were supposed to.
I hopped in the cab and told the driver Tiannanmen and he knew where to go. I was like sweet. So, we headed out and I was in jitters. I was happy, "This guy isnt' gonna try and screw me over!" HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Wishful thinking. I could see the south end of the square where I wanted to go and it was the easiest to get too...just a straight shot down the road. But for some reason, this turd decided to take me the back way. He got in the left turn lane and I was staring at the pay monitor. He turned left and got stuck in traffic so I started yelling at him and pointing in the way I wanted to go "That way...Tiannanmen" I know where I am going dude! He responded in broken english, "This way, faster."
NO IT ISN"T THIS WAY! Of course, he got stuck in traffic and had to turn around. I was like I am getting out. I aint letting you steal anymore of my money i will get out and walk. We are there anyway. I plopped my 16 yuan on the dash and hopped out while he was still moving. DON'T MESS WITH ME, SUCKA!?!?
I walked over to the Spaceship propaganda from the day i first visited the square. I waited around about 10 minutes and Aubri showed up. She was easy to spot. A 6 foot tall white woman with short hair. LOL. We got along well. Walked around and hopped on the subway to grab a taxi to the bar street. Caoyung district. This is where I took a picture of the giant mug of beer. We headed to the bar area on foot from the corner. It was down a dark alley..ala the first Batman movie. I was waiting for Jack Napier to pop out of the dark and say, "Ever dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight?" But intsead, a drugged up Nigerian saw us walking by and exited his..."drugstore"...and started to stagger toward us and mumble to us, "Hey man, you need something. I got something. You want something, man..Dude...yo. You need this. I got...." - No, Chiva Monkey, we don't need your nose candy, go back to your hole. We continued on our way. There was this cute girl in a fur coat who I said, "Hello" to, and right afterwards, i realized my mistake. The kid was pan handling for her mother. That's such a crime and its really sad. The kid is super cute and will never know anything better. Terrible. We got to Aubri's favourite bar..and for a Monday nite, it was the only one with anything going on. So we went there. HAPPY HOUSE! See the fotos in the gallery.
We chatted and hung out for hours. And danced. You know, I never thought I would be so happy to hear Snoop Dog or DMX. I was able to dance to American music. That felt great. And of course, I was doing it totally Philly-style and totally making fun of everyone in the place that was dancing like that seriously. Ha ha ha. I finally got home around 5am. Yeah, we had that much fun.
I then woke up at 6am to get ready for the last day in Beijing.

October 5th, 2004 - Fifth Day in Beijing

Got up after 1 hour of sleep and got ready. It was a nice power nap. I was able to pack up all my stuff and get my suitcase ready because we were heading to the airport after site-seeing. I was able to have breakfast. Nothing special. Got on the bus and we headed out. Neither Yumi, Rumi, nor I knew where we were going. We went to, what I call, The Stone Gardens. It was really neat. Lots of oddly shaped stones and all over the place. And a coupld of the buildings in the place were of a different style. They had more blue in them and looked as though they were made with thin rods of bamboo. We took a bunch of fun fotos here. I took some nice shots of things as well. Check them out. The Stone Garden tour guide was funny. She was wearing this traditional red chinese outfit. But she was holding a bullhorn and shouting things into it. Very odd. So I took a foto.
There were some very beautiful things in there. Another pretty pond. A floating pavilion on the water. The morning sun was shining down thru the trees casting rays. It was a very pleasant site. I walked around alot because the Stone Garden tour guide talked for what felt like 30 minutes in the same spot. I went off with the kids, Yumi and Rumi and took funny fotos. And then I came back to witness a little 3 year old chinese girl pissing in the pathway...right where everyone was walking. DAMN YOU! I wanted to kick that kid while she had her pants around her ankles. Take that. "You know, I know she isn't potty trained yet, Lady, I know the chinese have them cause I have seen them at the store but have you ever heard of diapers?" UGH! ***Just as a note, these little irritations dont really upset me, I view it as more like accidentally eating a piece of ginger while eating superb birthday cake. Its...more surprising than upsetting.
We then went of a cup of tea at another acrobatic show. I took some video, but again, i was let down. There was one cool thing that went on...but right now I forget.
We then went to see the Nine Dragon Wall. This was awesome. Very pretty. i got some great shots. I took a stitch shot and its in the Stitch Album. It took the creators I think 30 years to complete. Or something like that. At this time we had some free time and there were these guys practicing Chen Style Taiji in the corner. So I went over and hung with them for about 10 minutes. We were talking both in Chinese and English. I explained that I had been studying for 4 years, named off the stuff, and they responded and talked with me for awhile. IT was fun. Too bad I didnt havemore time to spend with them. Who knows, I may have been in the presence of greatness and not even have known who they were.
Then Yumi, Rumi, and I found an awesome foto op! They were offering people to dress up as the emporer and empress for 10 yuan a piece if you take your own foto. So we did. We had a huge chinese audience for this. Watching a gweilo dressed as the emporer with two japanese empresses. They were loving it. They are kool fotos though. Totally worth it. Better than souvenirs. As we walked back to the exit, I was videotaping some old ladies playing with that red ribbon and spinning it around to music. Then I noticed two old couples were swing dancing to music. I WAS SO EXSTATIC! I started to lower my camera to go join them but then the music stopped and they started to waltz. Phooey. The Waltz blows.
After this we went to a Buddhiist temple which was pretty amazing. It was this huge area with about 50 smaller temples and one giant one. I went sightseeing on my own because the tour guide, i could not understand. They also had this Tibetan Buddhist museum with tons of statuettes of Buddhas, Arhats, and Boddhisattvas. Very nice. The giant temple held a 6 story tall bronze buddha. This thing was huge. Very humbling. A tear came to my eye. I dunno if it was the size or the immensity of it or if it was the inscensce.
After this we headed to the Imperial College. The school where all the dynasties taught their imperial people. Very kool. We walked around the lecture hall and looked at all the museum artifcats n stuff. Very sweet. We then headed out.
Somewhere in here, we had lunch. No, by this time, I was falling asleep on the bus constantly and I got hot. And of course, I would drool. I knew I was gonna get sick. The littliest kid was already not feeling well and I know he is gonna give me something...and he did. He got Yumi, Rumi, and I sick. I mean, not in Beijing, but we got sick once we got back to Xiaolan.
We then headed back to Tiannanmen Square for a Feng Shui demonstration. Yeah, that's right..Feng Shui. By this time, I was tired and grumpy. The tour in their was boring as hell since I didnt understand it. I went outside and fell asleep. Luckily i was with the Japanese people so I wasnt alone. They didnt understand either.
Then after that we headed to the airport. We got there and had some KFC before boarding the plane. Nothing super special happened here except for the Beijing Tour Guide offereing me two roast ducks as a gift for their mistake the first nite i was there. I reluctantly took the ducks after she forced them onto me. I told her that this doens't mean I am gonna forget about getting a refund. (at the moment I am plotting my revenge).
We boarded the plane and I got stuck in business class, luckily. The inflight movie was a movie about a whore with a golden-heart..or something like that. It was quite depressing, but apparently it was a famous new hit. I can't see why. Oh well. We got back to Guangzhou and hopped on the bus and tried sleep during the bumpiest busride back to Xiaolan. We got back around 1AM or so. My throat was really raspy. I could feel the cold come on. UGH. Beijing rocked. Sorry it took so long to finsih posting this and that its really long. There was a lot that I needed to write. Enjoy the rest of my misadventures. Make sure you check out th

Posted by Phil at 06:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Its the Chinese. I realized something today. Its not just Bond that is inconsiderate and deals with lies. The travel agency does as well. I went in today to purchase the ticket to go to Beijing for the October 1-7 holiday. I was told they were holding a spot for me on the tour and they quoted me the price. But guess what. LIARS! So, the tour was all filled up and I proceeded to berate Stephen, the tour guide from the night before. I told him what i was promised why is it not available. I asked why was it promised....No answer. Asshole. So after some fierce negotiation i got a ticket for a much nice tour but at a fraction of the cost. I am really not liking the chinese right now. My contact in Beijing doesnt seem to be having any of the troubles I am having, so she said it may be a Guangdong thing. Maybe. If Beijing is this bad...i may just have to leave China...cause I am getting fed up with their evil Shenanigans and lack of any form of martial art. So, I leave for Beijing on friday. Oh, and btw, its Oct 1-5th..not 1-7th. Dickheads.
My teaching today was ok for the most part. Both Grade 5s and the second Grade 6 were good. But the first Grade 6 right after lunch was horrible. No one would participate. They were rude and i wanted to beat them all up. I dunno, but i think I would get some sort of twisted enjoyment out of that.
Goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 11:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Tonite was Mid-Autumn Festival which is a celebration in China for the longest full moon of the year. The Autumn Solstice basically. Apparently the way it is celebrated today is based off of a legend originating in the Tang Dynasty. The chinese basically use it as a way to get blitzed. They sure know how to party. They got these things called Mooncakes...which are chinese fruitcakes. Some of them are good...some aren't. And people constantly give them to you, either out of a gesture of kindness or as a way to get rid of the ones they were given. I received a bunch and I was able to "give away" a box. I received a box from Sammy, one of the teachers at the school. I think she is trying to seduce me with wind chimes and mooncakes. The box she presented to me was gorgeous. I mean, i was impressed. Its a wooden box with a map of all the constellations on the top. Very nice.
So, what i did was set up by Bond. My kindergarten class was canceled on account of the festival. So, I headed to the Bond Xiaolan office. There was a bus waiting and a bunch of the folks from Xiaolan headed to ShiQi to pick up the folks there. Once we did that we headed down to Zhongshan Park. Its a memorial park honoring 1 of the 3 greatest chinese of the past century. Dr. Sun Yat Sen...or Dr. Sun Zhongshan. He was the democratic revolutionary that aided in the downfall of the Ching Dynasty, however, unfortunately...we all knew what happened to that democratic movement. The other two are Chairman Mao and Den Xiaopeng. I asked the tour guide...where is Wong Fei-Hung? Fool.
Anywho. The park was huge and gorgeous. I want to climb the mountain they got there. We got back on the bus to head to Zhongshan Gardens and eat dinner.
Leianna had bought one of those linked toy snakes and scared the crap out of Tanya on the bus while Stephen, the tour guide, was talking. She screamed soooo loud. Pretty funny. Owen got a frightful jump too when Moses did it to him.
We arrived at the gardens and they were absolutely gorgeous. Old traditional rich chinese architecture. The fancy stuff. We walked around alot. Check out the fotos. The dinner was good too. There was a performance schedualed for 8pm. That was great. Highlights of the performance:
1. The lion dance at the beginning..i love that stuff.
2. The acrobats.
3. The Mask Changing Guy...very good.
Don't worry, i got video of it all. I was running low on tape and battery power. After the performance we were just chilling and exploring. They were sending wishes down the river. Placing a written card in a lotus petal candle holder, lighting it, and setting it on a piece of foam/wood. Unfortunately, Buddha did not grant my wish...and I realized this as all of our floaters floated right into a bunch of grass on the bank of the river ten feet away from where they were let go....good thinking there, Fignuts!
It was time to head back so we climbed in the bus and headed back. For some reason they were playing Canto-pop real loud. it was a sad ending to a wonderful nite. ;-)

Posted by Phil at 11:50 PM | Permalink

Well, I am 26 now. So far my day is ok. Woke up at 12pm. It was nice. Had some of that cheese I bought for a sandwich. I have been posting all these journal entries. Lots of work. My travel plans to go to Shanghai for the October holiday fell thru. The tour was canceled from lack of people. So John and I are gonna try and think of something else. Maybe go wtih Suzanna and Sean to Beijing. Possibility. We will talk more about it tonite at dinner. Suzanna said she was gonna jump out of a cake for me. That would rock! LOL!
Need to shower and practice some martial arts. Uploading pictures now.

Ok. So here goes.
I headed over to John Irish's pad around 730pm. I showed up and rang the bell. He answered and i made the groaning sound produced by the main ghost in THE GRUDGE ( a japanese horror flick soon to be re-done for America by the master of fear himself, Sam Raimi). Basically breathe in and make your vocal cords flutter. :-D
So, he lets me in and I climb the stairs. I get to the door and he opens it up for me. But as I open the door, I hear one of the bedroom doors shut, and I think to myself HA HA! they are trying to surprise me. I walk into the room and there is a cake on the table in the shape of a heart. I say, "aaaaawwwww." And John is standing there not looking at me and trying to be all non-chalant. And I sit there staring at the door waiting for them...They still didnt open it. So, I popped open my video camera and started it. I called out, "You can come out now." I had a huge smile on my face at this point. Someone opened the door a crack and saw me with the camera and slammed it shut right away and I heard a bunch of people laffing. Then a few seconds later, they opened the door and Damon, Sean, Suzanna, and Leianna came out with sheepish grins on their faces yelling SURPRISE!
The cake was heart shaped. Sean picked it out. It said I LOVE YOU in red letters. aaaaawwww. So we all had some cake, then busted open the Anchorhead and PBR beer and drank some. They gave me some presents which was totally unexpected. A chinese hacky sack, a lego guy with a space suit whilst holding a medieval sword and sheild, one of those skeleton wood kits for a PrairieDog, and a stone figure about 2 inches long. Then, while eating cake, Owen and Jolleen showed up, being chinese and late as usual. They got me a card with a fuzzy teddy bear on it. When you open it, it plays happy bday. A bunch of the Xiaolan Bond Staff signed it. The things they said were funny. I will scan it for ya'll.
We then watched the Chinpoko Mon episode of South Park and drank some more beer. We then headed out to go Bowling at the sweet bowling alley they got here. Took pictures and video. We drank of bunch of PBR in pull-tab cans. After bowling, we headed to the best noodle shop in Xiaolan. Good stuff. I learned how to say Rock N Roll in Chinese. Yao Gun!!!!! Pronounce it like Yao (ascending tone / ) Gun (gwen but with descending then ascending tone v ).
It ruled. Now I am at home about to head to bed. I had a great day today. Its times like these that make me want to stay. But times like this past few days that make me want to bolt.

Posted by Phil at 11:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

As some of you know, those who I have talked to online, I am having a bittersweet experience so far. However, the past week has been pretty much 80% Hell, 20% Heaven. Below is an online conversation I had with a friend about my problems. Notice this took place on the 15th and its now the 27th, my birthday...hopefully today isnt as bad as the past week. My issues since then have blasted off the ground like the new aircraft chasing after the X-prize. I am really not enjoying myself. The only times I do is when I am with other teachers or teaching some of the kids. When I deal with Bond (entailing all the dealings, the house, money, teaching schedual, living expenses, etc etc) i hate everything this country has to offer. I feel I am getting a very distorted view of this country and I have cursed it and its people more times than I can remember. I am to the point where I am seriously considering just leaving to a different place. Trying to find another job here. Oh, and this conversation doesnt cover the fact that I can't find any martial arts in this god-forsaken place - another major issue I am having. I need to ask some of my computer genious friends...How do you go about Google-Bombing someone? Cause that is what I plan to do to these assholes.

I are Menudo (9/15/04 10:18:22 PM): they have no clue about whats going on...always changing what they tell me. Never giving me a straight answer.
pal (9/15/04 10:19:15 PM): You mean your arrangment in China?
I are Menudo (9/15/04 10:20:44 PM): yes. my teaching schedual and other things too
pal (9/15/04 10:22:57 PM): Maybe the people you asked simply just don't know the answer and is afraid to admit so.
I are Menudo (9/15/04 10:24:11 PM): yeah...why cant they just admit it...save me a lot of frustration with them...this "Saving Face" crap is really pissing me off.
pal (9/15/04 10:26:10 PM): Guess they are trying to impress you, don't want to look like they don't know anything in front of a foreigner.
I are Menudo (9/15/04 10:27:45 PM): hell, i dont know anything. lol. Well, this company deals with Westerners, they should try to make their company a little more of a western style. and not tell lies all the time. i know its asking alot, but they wont lose teachers like they did today. One guy just got fed up, got his paycheck, gave them the finger, and left. Well.....he didnt really give the finger, but figuratively speaking he did
pal (9/15/04 10:29:33 PM): That's too bad. Hope there is other things you enjoy or appreciate there.
I are Menudo (9/15/04 10:31:28 PM): i sure hope I can find some. i like most of the kids. the teaching isnt the problem..its the company and their Shenanigans that displease me immensely and its giving me a very distorted view of Chinese culture...i feel.
pal (9/15/04 10:32:20 PM): are you planning to stay for at least a year or so?
I are Menudo (9/15/04 10:32:51 PM): well. i was plannin a year,...but i may change my contract...or break it...or try to claim they broke the contract and bolt
pal (9/15/04 10:35:23 PM): Are their lies intentional? Do you feel that they want to treat you badly?
I are Menudo (9/15/04 10:35:38 PM): yes and no. The boss man told me and many others straight up lies to get us here. Once we got here everything changed. I was promised so many things and a bunch of teachers were too. Its not just the head owner telling us stuff and then hasn't lived up to it...its how the company makes a mistake and then will try to blame a teacher for it. One of my friends had that happened and they felt wretched for days. The company is fanning the flames of its own destruction.
pal (9/15/04 10:36:56 PM): That could be a case of poor leadership.
I are Menudo (9/15/04 10:37:21 PM): yes
pal (9/15/04 10:39:57 PM): I know it must be hard for you... please keep an open mind and enjoy your time there. If you just look for bad things... that's what you are going to find. Try think the glass is 1/2 full instead of 1/2 empty.
I are Menudo (9/15/04 10:40:42 PM): thats what I am trying to do...but things are wearing thin. There is alot that I enjoy. but this company is really screwin it up.

Everyday something new pisses me off and is pushing me more to my departure.

Posted by Phil at 01:34 PM | Permalink

So, after I came home from a nice long irritating and boring day of teaching at the BOND head office in ShiQi. "Irritating" because I was lied to about the schedual and forced into teaching more than I was told about for that day and "boring" because teaching a 3 hour class from the book sucks royally. I did get some nice shots of the local area and I found Season 3 of South Park on DVD, which, of course, I had to pick up. Leianna, the 56 year old Kiwi, and I came back to Xiaolan and hoped on a bicycle powered rickshaw. It was nice relaxing trip thru the city. A little cramped though. I saw Leo...the manager at the bar that we frequent, the Sunday Bar. We waved and shouted greetings.
"Sup, my communist comrade! How's trix?"
-"Fine, thank you, and you, my imperialist capitalist pig!"
I went back with her to her place because I was gonna meet up with Suzanna and wait around for John Irish to show up. I got there, Sean called and said to meet him by the KFC @ 645pm with John. So i called Peter and we all got together for what I thought would be a fun time. Sean, Peter, John, Mark, Suzanna, Jolleen, Emily, and me. We went up to this interesting buffet place. It had a large set up of cookeries and they would punch a card for what you wanted and then bring it to you. It was real nice. There was this guy that poured tea from about 4 feet away from your glass...i got a couple fotos of him.
Thats when it happened...I think. I was walking in the large group lookng at all the dishes...there was this full crab...Like a whole crab...dead and cooked, but not seperated...I was like, sweet. There was this large group of people that I thought were trying to take a look at the food but alas, they were there to steal my cellfone. These assholes stole my cellphone. Thats about $100 US down the drain. I am really upset about that. I didnt realize it until I got back to my seat. The thing is that I dont know how they could have seen it or known where it was cause I have a pair of those pants with pockets at the knee. They must a sent a child to do it or something. We called the fone a bunch of times and at one point the dickhead answered. Moron. Jolleen said something to him in Chinese and he hung up. So, we proceeded to send many text messages in Chinese and English. My favourite is as follows.

"Hey, you dickless piece of shit. You hump goats in front of your sister-wife for jiao [chinese coinage]. I hope your seed is stricken from the face of the earth. I hope you never live long enough to enjoy giving your grandmother another sensual spongebath, you flipper toed hemaphrodite."
I didn't write it, someone else did, but it was my favourite.

After that, we continued with the feast and I was drinking to try and forget the loss. It seemed to go well. Food was real good and the company was great. Just chatting. Then some of us went to the beer garden and drank some more.
Around 10, everyone left, John and I are the only ones with Monday off. I went back with him to get my stuff that I left at Leianna's and Suzanna's. We ended up chatting with the girls for about 2 hours just shooting the shit and I was writing down funny stuff that they said because,
1. it sounded funny when I was drunk
2. i figured it would sound funny when I wasn't.

Poo-nappy = dirty diaper. And of course, I went with the logical progression of Poo-nappy to that dirty english word. Suzanna proceeded to punch me in the arm.

Flappy-head = a big mouth. We were discussing one of the Bond managers.

Oh, and then somehow John and I brought up another Bond Manager, Mountain.

John - "Mountain, can we be honest with you?"
-"yes"
John n Phil - "You have some of the coolest eyebrows in the world"
Phil - "I want your eyebrows to be the best man at my wedding."
i will post fotos later when i get them.

We talked about kindergarten, frustrations with Bond, travels, and stuff.
I am off to bed.

Posted by Phil at 11:29 PM | Permalink

Saturday, Sept 25th 12pm

Had a crappy disheartening afternoon. I went to the China Post office with Amy so she could interpret for me to send off 4 DVD sets of Jay and Janice's wedding that I finally completed. It took my about 1 hour to do everything.
1st: Got to the desk and said, I would like to send some stuff to the US.
2nd: He said they couldn't send CDs or DVDs becaue of Piracy issues.
3rd: Amy yelled at him or something. He called his Manager.
4th: He came back and said that his Manager said they had no problems sending it, but that US Customs may seize it because its CD/DVD. So, if it never shows up, Jay and Janice, you know why.
5th: He weighed the stuff and it was around .46 kg or something. which was about 97 qwai ($11 US). He then put the box he would send it in, and it shot up to .56 kg, which was about 115 qwai...and I was like, NO! (115 to 97 isn't much in US dollars, but since I dnt have much US dollars, its an issue)
6th: We went around the corner and got some packaging paper to wrap them in. It worked well. We taped it up alot.
7th: Proceeded to fill out a customs declaration and take care of all that junk.
The whole experience took about an irritating hour.
Then we headed over to the Travel Agency to see how I could get to the Shaolin Temple for October Holiday, Oct 1-7th. I was there the day before...see Friday's entry. Amy and the others would be talking in Chinese trying to get me a train to Zhengzhou or Yuowang in Henan and then take a bus to the temple. There are planes, but it would be 1080qwai one-way, plus the paying for lessons which i dont have enuff of. She would mention Shaolin Shi and Gong Fu and all the girls that we were talking with would look at me and giggle. Thanks for showing reservation and being polite, retards. One of the other customers had a friend living in Hunan so she called him up and handed the fone to Amy. Amy chatted with him for about 15 minutes getting info on where to go, how to get there, and what to do. So with all that info and stuff we were looking at train scheduals. The train ride would be 24 hours and there were no sleepers. I was not gonna sit in a cramped seat for 24 hours. That train would leave Oct 1st at 8pm. This would give me from Oct 3rd- the 5th to practice and another 1.5 days on the train and buses back to Xiaolan. Bullcrap, its not worth it for that long. I was pissed off. I hate how the chinese wait to the last minute to tell you when things are going down. I am referring to the fact that my school and Bond could not tell me when the exact vacation days would be. Thats one idea down the crapper. Maybe for New Years holiday I will go. I was very impressed with how helpful everyone was though. Thats the plus side. Too bad Bond can't learn a lesson from these people.
Then I had to run an errand to 1+1 Supermarket for some more party things. I needed to get some cups. While I was there, i also picked up some handsoap and hair-goo. But the big chore was trying to find RAID boxes for cockroaches to enter and die. This was humorous and humiliating all at the same time.
1st: i wrote down the name RAID, because the package is in english and all these people do get enlish lessons in school, so I thought they may know. At this point i asked 1 person and 2 people came to my aid.
2nd: Writing RAID didnt work, so i drew a picture of a cockroch with a circle around it and an "X" thru it. At this point there were 3 chinese workers surrounding me looking at my picture. One girl said, "Oh!" Like she knew, and she took me over and showed me a floor mat. I hung my head in shame.
3rd: I then drew the little box that contains the poison, thinking this has got to work. I had about 5 workers surrounding me now gawking at my pictures. Then the dude I asked originally, took me to another place and showed me some tile flooring.....I was like, THE PICTURE IS OBVIOUS!!
4th: Now, I had about 7 workers just gawking and giggling. I was like, crap. Then one of them finally recognized what I was trying to get across in my drawing and took me to the RAID. I was soo ecstatic. You do not understand.
I then headed back to the house to clean my room, prepare for the party, and prepare for another stupid government dinner.

Posted by Phil at 11:00 PM | Permalink

Saturday Sept 25th 6pm

So, Bond, at the last minute, as usual, told me that I need to go to this government dinner. So i got to dress up which was nice. I wore my Star Wars tie and two-tone shoes. They actually had real western style food which was great. This was a big celebration of the Moon Cake festival. They eat this cake stuff that is the chinese version of Fruit Cake. Its good, but everyone mails it to their friends thru the mail. its very funny. Like they can't just buy it at the store. Whatever.
After I cleaned up my room, I tried to iron some clothes. And of course, Bond hasnt replaced the broken iron I told them about 2 weeks ago and it leaks water everywhere. These little things just added to the shitty day i was already having and would continue to have that nite. So, i got water all over a shirt of mine and the floor. I called up Jolleen, the girl that is supposed to take care of my broken bed and other furnishings and pretty much yelled at her for not taking care of what I asked. I hung up and followed with a few curses on China and its people. Headed to get the bus at 5pm. It was John, Bill, Sean, Suzanna, me, and Mountain. It took us 1.5 hours to get to the Shangri-La hotel because the dumb bus driver got lost. So we picked up Alice at her place and she showed us the driver the right way. Then we stopped to pick up Dawn and Tanya, who walked to the hotel since it was a couple blocks away. The bus was stopped waiting for someone so we yelled at Mountain and walked to the hotel. During this time i mentioned to the gang that i was thinkin of bolting. They understood and some of them are thinkin about it to. Wouldn't it be awesome if we left at the same time. So the dinner and desert was great. Met some people. I picked up some cheese that we had another teacher buy for Peter and myself in Guangzhou. 2.5 kgs.
Basically it was an event to celebrate all the foreign teachers by the government in ShiQi. But it was actually to toot their own horn. They had some people do performances. And of course, the chinese had to play mozart and some european opera...I am in China cause I want chinese culture, not crappy renditions of European music. It was kinda sad. And there seemed to be more chinese than foreign teachers here. But i did get to stare at white people. It ruled. There will be pictures posted soon.
Then around 8pm I was like, i need to catch a cab back to Xiaolan to be a host at the party. But, Mountain convinced me that the bus was leaving in 10 minutes so we could all get there to gether.
I said ok. Sure enuff, 830pm came around and we still havne't boarded the bus. Then we had to wait for about 10 minutes while a girl from Shiqi changed her shoes and got a change of clothes, cause they ended up crashing at the house. Then we had to go out of our way to drop a teacher off at her shcool, then we headed to Xiaolan. I was irrate. I was mad because Bond was keeping me from being a host at my own party/bday party. And then to top it off the bus driver got lost again. And Bill, the Aussie, showed them how to get back. A foreigner showed a chinese how to get home. WTF!?!?!?!
While we were 40 minutes away from Xiaolan, Coco called asking where i was I told her about 20 minutes cause I thought we were. but we were 20 minutes in the opposite direction. I apologized.
We finally arrived in Xiaolan and the bus driver wouldnt take us to the house even though all of us were going there. So we gave him the finger and headed to grab a convoy of motorbike taxis. Thats when the nite took a turn for the worse.

Posted by Phil at 06:27 PM | Permalink

Saturday September 25th 1000pm

So...after hopping off the bus at the BOND office in Xiaolan. We booked to the corner and the KFC where there are always motorbike taxis. We flagged down 6 drivers and I told them all Kung Qiao Lu. So we had this convoy. John arrived first cause he knew where to go. The others followed. I got there first, then Sean, then Ash, Dawn, and Tanya. We waited to make sure this was everyone. And it was....so we thought.
We paid the drivers, but they were trying ot scam us, we were like, 3!!! not 5!!!! We headed to the party. I arrived, still irrate because I was held away from my hosting duties. very upset. And when I showed up, out of all the people we invited, maybe there was 10 people. I invited over 30 teachers from my school. 3 showed up. Coco and two others. Sammy couldn't make it but had Coco give me a present, which i told them not to do. Its a pretty nice windchime. I was...awwwwww. But then I got this sweet gift from the 3 that showed up. A set of 9 shaolin gung fu baby statuettes. Check the fotos..They are uber cute. So, after they gave the presents, they left. I was like FUCKING BOND! my guests are leaving because of YOU! I told and explained to Coco why i was late. I dont think she fully understood.
After they left and i placed my presents in my room. I did a quick recon of the party. Where is Suzanna? oh shit. I went over to John and Sean, "Where's Suzanna?!" Is she with you? And in unison, "oh fuck". So in my rage, i felt I needed something to drink. I ran over to the beer, grabbed one and tried to open it quickly with the bottle opener before running out to the street, it slipped and smashed on the floor. I snapped. The travel plans falling thru, BOND, the government dinner, 1+1 supermarket, BOND, the bus driver, BOND, lack of gung fu, BOND, my friend gone missing, and the broken bottle sent me over the edge. I yelled an "Incredible Hulk" yell and chucked the bottle opener with such force that it richoceted off the stairwell and came right back at me and smashed another bottle of beer into oblivion. I had to clean it up. I then proceeded to meet up with John and Sean on the corner waiting to see if Suzanna came around. She didn't, so I hopped on a motorbike taxi and began to drive around the city. I was lookin all over the place trying to find where she could have gone. I pointed the driver to different places then headed to the KFC and searched around there by foot. Gave a quick english lesson to a little chinese girl who started talking to me. Then search around more. Made it down to the Bowling alley and searched around there and hopped on another bike and headed back to the house. Still looking all the way. I was really worried, becuase I thought she didnt know her way around cause she had only been here for a couple weeks. But she does, but i didnt know that. I arrived and John and Sean were still there saying she never showed. John had called the house to see if she went back there. No answer. Usually Leianna is home at this time, but no answer, so we thought something might have happened to her as well. Dunno why, she wasn't with us at all that day. We just had to worry more I guess. So, John hopped a bike and went to their appartments. Sean and i looked around some more and headed back to the party to tell Mountain and Jolleen to see what we could do. "HOW DO YOU FIND A LOST WHITE WOMAN IN XIAOLAN!?" Mountain thought it would be easy because its a small town. I was like, I just looked over the whole place. Sean and I were thinking the worst and it was pretty obvious from our moods and body language.
John showed up at the apartments and there was no answer at their place or answer of the fone, so John posted a letter on the door to contact him immediately. He went out searching for her again. Now, Sean and I were worried about Suzanna and Leianna both cause of no answer. So around 11pm or so, Sean was about to head out looking some more and go home. Then John called and said she was found, she's at the apartment and he was heading back to the party. Sean and I were extremely relieved and we proceeded to get hammered.
THE TRIAL OF SUZANNA
Apparently, the motorbike taxi carrying her was a new guy or something because he split off from the main convoy and headed in a different direction. She was like, no that way. Apparently she had driven down the road with the Post Office on it, like we said, but since no on was there at the corner she didnt know where to go. And so she said go back to the Bond office and thats when he got really lost. She kept telling him the proper pronunciation of the places, however, since, she was white and a foreigner, the driver immediately thinks she is not saying what she is really saying and is like, "huh"?
Finally, she got her barrings and the driver called a friend who knows some english and got her to her place. The taxi driver greatfully only charged her 5 qwai which was very nice of him. He knew what was going on and that it was somewhat his fault. However, she doesnt have a cell fone and John had her keys because she was wearing a skirt with no pockets and no handbag. Stupid girl stuff. ;-) So, luckily her neighbor is an English teacher and she paid for the taxi and allowed her to use her fone. John headed over there and let her in. While she was waiting she kept ringing her buzzer, but Leianna wouldnt answer the door. She got increasingly worried thinking something bad happened. Nope...Leianna was just destroyed from a long day, and slept thru all the fone calls and buzzer rings. Damn.
After all that, the party started to get fun. There are lots of fotos to be posted and i took some video too. I will post it soon.
Talk about a crappy nite. to the end of a crappy day. Hopefully it gets better tomorrow........

Posted by Phil at 12:49 PM | Permalink

Today my classes went awesome! I had a blast in all my 3rd and 4th grade classes. Got them to learn. I was also able to get my 10 kids in kindergarten to be more responsive. I had them compete with one another. It worked like a charm. The kids seem to get into it. This is my smallest kindy class, but it seems to be the hardest to keep control. Four of the children are spazzes. There is this one kid that reminds me of me when I was his age. He wears a pair of glasses with that demeaning strap to hold them on his head. He is sitting in the chair one second, the next he is off running like Mr. Peepers in heat around the room and running into the hall. I wonder what will happen if I give him an apple? ....hmmmm.....
It was a great day for teaching!

I stopped by the travel agency to see about going to the Shaolin Temple for october holiday. They know a little english and i got some price checks on planes, trains, and automobiles. I am gonna head back on saturday afternoon with Amy to get a better idea of whats up. Need to practice martial arts...i feel so lazy since I havent been doing it much at all. I try to do it on my own, but its hard to do it on your own.

I then headed to ShiQi to hang out with some people. I went to dinner and it was really good. The homeless in ShiQi are hardcore man. Hardcore. They were trying to grab my food and pestering us for money. I was dumbfounded. Then as we walked around the park and stuff, just takin in the city, there was a park built on the land of a former factory, it was very nice. There were 2 old people practicing some Chen Meng Cheng taiji by the bushes and my friend asked to see my taiji. So i showed it. And the one old lady doing a sword form stopped and watched. It was ok I guess. Need more practice.

We headed to the walking street area and walked up the bridge. There was a homeless dude sitting at the bottom of the steps. He wasn't beggin or anything, but he did have his son sleeping on his lap. So i gave him the food left-overs. I did so this not seeing the child. I didnt realize he was there. It amazes me here, that was the second time i saw a child homeless. Its really sad. Last time, John and I were out looking at guitars and their was this cute little kid standing by the corner and I waved at him and he started to follow us for about 200 meters with a cup asking for money. I was blown away. Craziness.

Posted by Phil at 04:27 PM | Permalink

So, today, the english teachers went out for afternoon tea. We went to the Flower Hotel which was gorgeous. It was DIM SUM time! I finally got to have real authentic Dim Sum...talk about the best. It was better than any I had in the America. However, I am not saying that Dim Sum at Shangri La, Windsor, or Great Lakes in AA is bad. I am just saying this was better. That other stuff is really good too back home. It was really good.
Today, I helped Coco with a 4th grade music lesson. It ruled. I got to play her daughter's guitar, cause I don't have one yet, but i got a couple picked out. I was teaching them Do, Re, Mi from The Sound of Music. They liked it. We only got the intro done because the principal spoke to the school for about 20 minutes via the PA system about a movie all the children will be seeing this week.
The students will be taken, by class, to be..."educated"...on Den Xiaopeng, a great communist leader that died in '97, all this week. (isn't that an oxy-moron?..great communist leader... ;-) ). Anywho. So, some of my classes this week will be canceled. I aint got a problem with that.
It was a fun day, sorta. Not to many problems in class. the 5th and 6th graders are less receptive to me. 3rd and 4th grade is where its at. :D
im outtie.

Posted by Phil at 04:42 PM | Permalink

Yesterday, on Monday, John and I headed to ShiQi to look at guitars. There is a store just passed this Buddhist temple on walking street that is a hidden gem. They have some quality instruments there. I mean, among all the chinese crap there, these seem realllllly nice. What we think these guitars are, are the "low-end" versions of the Gretshes, Gibsons, and Epiphones in the States. Basically, they are made on the same machines by chinese and without their paint jobs and brand names.
There were 3 that I fell for.
1. A Les Paul that played wonderfully.
-I was rocking this baby out and it stayed in tune even with all the bendin i did on the strings and the stuff i was putting it thru.

2. A Rhandy Rhoades RR3 that rocks soooo much Cock-Rock Metal i can't tell you enuff.
http://www.jacksonguitar.com/gear/gear.php?partno=RR3_Rhoads
-take this link, look at that foto and give it a leopard print body. Thats right....A LEAPORD PRINT BODY!!! TALK ABOUT METAL!!!! AAAAAAIIIYYYYYY!!!!!
I so want this one, its not even funny. Totally rad.

3. An Epiphone Joe Pass Emporer II
http://www.epiphone.com/default.asp?ProductID=9&CollectionID=1
This guitar is the one I will get once I get paid. Imagine this without the Epiphone inlays and give it a red sunburst around the edges with the gold wood in the center. This thing is amazing. No one has played it because it was totally out of tune and the action needed to be raised some. I did both and the thing was stayin in tune after all the bending and crap I ran it thru. Sounds great. I so need to get this. I could pimp it out. I need to put a picguard on it, a bigsby, and maybe a new paint job...somewher in the future.

WWWEEEEEEE!

Posted by Phil at 04:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

So, there is this one kid that came up to me at my school the other day. When the kid started talking to me, I honestly couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl. Even after the name I couldn't figure it out. I have come to the conclusion after about a week that the kid is a girl. Her name is...Wee-Wee. Yeah...too bad it wasn't Pee-Wee. This girl though, her english surprised me. Out of all the students I come into contact with, hers I think is the best and she is only in 3rd or 4th grade. She was holding a long conversation with me. I was impressed.
There is this other girl, i think in the 4th grade that lives just down the street from me. Her name is Cagny. On Thursday or Friday we usually end up walking back together. Her english is pretty good too. Can't be more than 4th grade.
I shared a taxi with a local school teacher last nite come back from Xue Qi. I am blanking on her chinese name, but her English name is...catch this...Bear. As in Teddy Bear...i hope. She knew as much English as I did Cantonese, so talking to her was pretty interesting.
There was a male student, prolly about 16 or so in a PETS II class that I was teaching for 2 hours on Saturday...it actually was fun, i thought I was gonna hate it. It was good, the students are quite smart.
This boy asked me how to spell his English name that he picked up from watching a movie. He was saying, Belater...and I looking at him all weird and thinking and saying..thats not a name...i dont' even think thats a word. But then...after a couple minutes I realized he was trying to say, "Blade". This 15-16 year old chinese kid...skinny as hell, has named himself after a black half-human/half-vampyr comicbook character that hunts vampyrs in which Wesley Snipes butchered in the movies with his terrible acting and crappy marital arts presentation.
I haven't met this following child, but apparently the trophy for the weirdest and best English name for a chinese person is....drum roll...."The Mushroom King". I'm not joking around. There was a kid in one of the classes of my co-workers/teachers. He named himself the Mushroom King. My stomach hurt from laughing after hearing that one. Now I just hope I can meet him and bow down to his Highness.
I also want to meet some students that have the names, Apple, Tree, Bird, Rock, and Plant.
T-shirts here are hilarious. Companies here take random nouns, verbs, adjectives, and other structures and throw them together in a pot and mix them up....and most of the time the sentence structures are all messed up and whatever the shirts are trying to say dont make a lick of sense. Also some of the things that people wear. For example, you may see a little old woman carrying a yoke (a bar that sits across your shoulders with buckets attached to each end) down the street wearing a t-shirt that says, "THUG LIFE" ...i mean...why does my camera battery have to be dead at that time.
UGH!
sooooooo funny!

Posted by Phil at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I went to Macau yesterday to check it out and take care of some VISA issues. Basically, Americans have to leave the country for every 30 days for some stupid assinine reason. So, i had a double entry on my Tourist L-Visa. So, John Irish and I headed out to Macau to spend the day chilling. Macau is a 5 mile long version of Hong Kong. There is some neat stuff. We went to the A-ma Temple, Maritime Museum, Walking Street, and this awesome Brazilian place. You can see the fotos in the gallery soon. Public transportation in this city sux though. Its too crowded. On the bus from the Barrier (north point) to A-Ma Temple (south point) it took us a friggin hour. Constant stop and go. It would be quicker to walk or take a taxi. No more of this bus crap. Other than that there is not much to say. It was an ok place, I think i need to try it out again to get a better impression.

Posted by Phil at 11:10 AM | Permalink

Ok, so last nite was National Teacher's Day. In China, they seem to really love their teachers. I guess its because schooling is such a huge part of their life. And these teachers pull out all the stops. Basically, we have been celebrating every nite since wednesday. Last nite, though, was the wildest. We were at this huge resturant and their was all the teachers from most of the local schools. And for some odd reason, I was the only white dude there. I guess my school likes me alot to invite me along. :D I enjoy them, they are fun. And of course, all ...and I mean, ALL, the chinese wanted to drink Bei-Ju with me. Bei-Ju is chinese rice wine....take Sake and multiply its potency and terrible taste by 100x.
Now, after about the 4th cup, you can't taste it. So, throughout the dinner time, I had about 8 shots. and I had about 3 in quick succession right before going off to do Karaoke with the gang. (see Teacher's day fotos in the gallery).
During dinner, i was at a table with most of the female teachers and Coco was there. She is the head english teacher that usually acts as my interpreter. she is really cool. All the female teachers told me that I was extremely handsome and I proceeded to blush 80 colors of red. Then they asked me if I came to China to find a girlfriend and I proceeded to curse them out in German and English. I told them how insulted I was by what they just said, and then I woke up from my drunken stooper and said, no...i didnt come for a chinese girlfriend. SMACK!
The food was fantastic. Then we got up and headed to Karaoke. The Chinese know how to party. I have video fo this, check it out. I let them know that I practice gung fu and martial arts, and because of this, they always cheer me with CHINESE GUNG FU! and then go, "WHOO HOO!" And tear their shirts off and twirl them around their heads. Its getting kind of irritating actually. I am kinda wishing I never said anything. That and the fact that gung fu doesnt exist in China. So, they had about 10 english songs all in MIDI format so of course, i was not hitting any of the notes because I was drunk and the music sucked. Coco made me a duet with her from Titanic...My Heart Will Go On. So, I was using my high-pitched metal voice and getting alot of laffs. There was some interseting songs played.
1. The theme song from Jet Li's "Shaolin Temple" movie...its soooo terrible. Shaolin, Shaolin...etc,etc.
2. The Wong Fei Hung Theme, i was able to sing along with this one...along with 15 other chinse that were cramped in this room.
3. Sammy performed this Chinese Opera tune, she sounded great.
4. There was this one Karaoke Song and the video was the interesting part here...it had Jackie Chan, Leslie Cheung, Yuen Biao, and some other famous actor I recognized haning around a dude ranch by themselves and singing the song. i was like...WTF!!!! This is freaky!
One of the P.E. Teachers at the school was a former Police Officer. And so, at one point will we were in the Karaoke room, he decided to square off with me and drop me to the floor. I was laffing so hard at that point, I didnt feel the chair jab into my lower back. He then told me all the stuff that he had to deal with while being a police officer. So I kow-towed too him and started callin him, "SIFU!" Causing more chinese to laff their asses off.
There was the heavy guy there that I dunno where he came from...he just showed up. He was getting into it and ...well, you just need to watch the video when I post it.
I started breaking into a cold sweat and that is wehn i decided to drink abaout 20 glasses of tea to expunge the alcohol from my system. If I didnt do that, i think i would have gotten sick. That was a great nite. Wow. Talk to you later.

Posted by Phil at 11:30 AM | Permalink

1. Chinese Dance clubs....worst music every. The way they dance. Just jump up and down and clap alot. I miss seeing Naas and E-rock dance.

2, The music is horednsou. Absolutely horendous.

4. Chinese people thinkg that i can speak chinese if they just =say the same thong over and over to me at once. I know they be repaeting themselves, but damn, they know i just said, "mmmsec-tang" (don't understand) and buried my hands in my face. They same things too me agian. I be like....NOOOOOOO!

4. The muisc ihere is teerrrible. sooooo bad.

5. Cowoboy bar its good atmosphere, b ut badd abaddd music.
i miss the goth adt City Club at this mopoint.

q43. oh oi hoh. I took a takxi buike ride from a dude that wasnt' a realy taxi driver. He was kool though. he had a red and black horizontal stripe T-shirt and he was a younger fella. He was polite. Took me for a nice ride thru the city. He wasnt wearing the Green Jacket that real taxi drivers wheare.

7
. Me, John Irish, Tenya (Aussie), and Sean (UK) went out tonite. we had a blast. they are a fun bunch of people./ There was this french dude at COWBOY! the crazy chinese dance club... which had vomit and shit all over the men's bathroom because its hard to aim wiht those Holes in the Floor. But this french guy shared my sentiment that the music was CRAAAAAP!
Its fun gettting people from different coutnreisd together that speak english we make fun of each others accents and pronunciations.
leisure. LEISURE!
leisure suit larrry.
um.......i nee dsleep.

9. i practiced on the roof today. it was sweeeeeeeet. I want to do i t somehmore. We need to drain the roof. Its got water everyeahwarher.sdddddjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj. whoops.
goodnite.

10. You can see fotos of this nite in Nite Fun in Xiaolan in the gallery.

Posted by Phil at 04:18 AM | Permalink

Stuff to write about.
1. Beer garten...just chilling, but about 1145pm, two chinese come over and start asking us to be their english speaking friend. Of course they said tons of other things that we didnt understand. Very awkward situation.
2. Got my teaching scheduals. Dealing with BOND is a pain in the ass.
3. Went guitar and erhu shopping in Xue Qi. Pretty cool. Went to the top of the stairs of Zhongshan Park. Very nice. Need to go back. Itll rule. Saw a guy doing Cheng Meng Chen Style Taiji. hardcore.
going to bed, im drunk.
0me

Posted by Phil at 01:06 AM | Permalink

Things to talk about.
1. Went to school again to get the materials. why it went from Sang Shi to Do Shin....name of street after merger.
2. Hospital...giving mp3 player to Peter and seeing little cute boy crying with eye patch and blood on wrist. wanted to vomit.
3. Fried my brain with Guangdong Wah practice.
4. Had some chinese pastries...very lightweight, tasted odd. interesting things inside.
5. Mountain took me to a place where they practice gung fu. Something called San-Da...kill person with any part of body. apparently.
6. Distributed BOND flyers at Sang Shi. Kids only wanted to take flyers from me because i'm gweilo. I had about 7 little girls who were hangin garound me, taking flyers then distributing them and coming back for more so they coulds say, HELLO, then laff. and Say, WHATS YOUR NAME? Super cute.
Some super old guy with metal teeth was so excited to see me. He was shakin my hand and shoutin to everyone to come look at me. very funny.
7. Got ready for government dinner. Waited awhile, cause Burt...a new guy, got lost. It was a new Guangdong food resturant. They forced us to drink Bei-lo. i think the name. Chinese rice wine...that tastes worse than SAKE. They made us drink...had to save face. Stupid concept. this is where the gay Jet Li came from.
8. after dinner, Sean, Tenya, and John Irish and I went to Leo's bar and played dice drinking game. Music was terrible, but I was dancing in my seat. Then i took a bike home...it ruled. i amgoing to bed. I will type this junk out tomorrow. Later.
-me

Posted by Phil at 12:24 AM | Permalink

So, yesterday - Tuesday, I got to take a look at the apartment I was planning on moving into. However, this place was like a closet. i would have had no living room. Basically, the apartment is meant for maybe 1 person or 1 couple living together with a baby. Its quite small. So i was pretty pissed. It turns out that the school I am teaching at is about 5 minutes from the house I am in now, so I told all the Bond managers that I was just going to stay in the room I am in now. I got settled this past week and I dont feel like moving.
Yesterday, I went to the school and met with the headmaster and learned some things about the school. Its quite large and quite nice. I dont start till Monday once they have gotten all the scheduals figured out. Then I got back to the house and I learned how to play Mah-Jong. It was ok. Its basically chinese poker/gin rummy. I went to the local gym and checked it out. It looks pretty nice. Gonna get a membership there. Its pretty cheap. We also walked all over the city.
We went to this DVD store where they had a few DVDs on the wall. We asked if there were anymore and they said to follow them. I was like...sweeeeet. So, he takes us to an alley and opens this door in the center of this big metal garage door and inside was literally 1000 DVDs. It was hilarious. They were 12Yaun which is about $1.50. Quite humourous.
Today, I went to go pass out flyers at a primary school for parents picking up their kids. However, one of the managers was under the impression that today was a half-day and not a full day. So we got there and no one was ready to leave or get picked up. So we had to walk back. I was sweating profusely because of the weather and I think i am slightly sick. But I headed back and tried to sleep it off. Then I headed over to the Bond Office again and we headed out to do this interview with a company, Viasystems, for teaching english to their staff. It was sorta long, the interviewers were very chatty. One guy, Norm, spent some time in Toronto and his english was quite good. Another guy, Lowe, who pronounced it with a german "w" and an audible "e" sound, was not as educated as Norm in the english language. He also had this wierd habit of flicking his tongue when he would get excited. The company is a technical company and they saw that I was a Chemistry graduate and he got happy and flicked his tongue. very bizarre. The 3rd guy, who would come and go spoke little english. I am gonna call him Ivan. This guy was a badass. He would stare you down and he barely showed any emotion. I think he was the intimidation part of the group. Very intense. For some reason, the chinese here love to ask me about who I am gonna vote for in November and what I think of Bush. I guess they need to talk about our politics cause they can't talk about their own.
After we left, we waited for our Taxi Cab for about 30 minutes. He still didnt show up, but this guy pretending to be a taxi driver conned, Lynn, our Bond Rep, into giving us a ride. So we cram into this chinese version of a Volkswagen and head back thru the industrial area. On the way we see our taxi going to pick us up...damnit. Why isnt anyone reliable around here. He got us back in one piece, but at one point as he was turning left, I could reach out the backseat window and touch the hood of a car trying to go straight. Then we were playing chicken with a big hauling truck and a few motor taxis. Its amazing how bad they drive here but there are no accidents. Freaky.
Tomorrow, the government is taking all the ESL teachers out to dinner. So that should be interesting.

Posted by Phil at 07:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Lots of things in this one. Well, to start out on a positive note, I taught my first class. It was sorta easy, basically, today was the last day of summer school and I was working with kindergarten and 3rd graders. The classes aren't that big since its the summer. I basically used some flashcards, taught them "Simon Says", and showed them how to rock (http://charrey.net/gallery/v/phil/ThrowingUptheDevilHorns) Plus, there is a group of older/highschool students that are planning to study abroad in the next couple years, so they have a more in-depth class on culture in the countries that they plan to go to. So, today, in that class I was visiting along with two other new teachers to watch the present teacher do her magic. The students were able to get four instructors from differnet countries to chat with them. Me from USA, Dawn from Canada, Leiana from New Zealand, and Lez (the present teacher) from Australia.
By some weird transition, the kids were complaining about the USA and the Bush administration, so they proceeded to trash talk the USA. I was like, "AAAAH HELL NO!" Nobody can trash talk the USA except for us! I proceeded to jump on the desks and kick in each of their heads and then beat up a bunch of ninjas that showed up.....whoops, off topic. So anywho, they were talking smack and i put an end to that in some way or another. Then somehow Lez got onto talking about the Domino Theory and Communism...i am thinking and saying...um.."should we really be having this discussion?" while looking out of the corners of my eyes. So after that political debate we proceeded to answer and field questions about life in each of our countries and universities, since they are all going to go to college in the countries they visit. That was fun.
Another thing that happened today was Peter, the established house mate here, bought a pool table. Its nice too. What happened was this. On our way back to Xiaolan from Xue Qi, where the head Bond office is, we were passing a shop on the side of the road that made pool tables and accessories. Peter asked the price. Then got back in the car and we headed home. After him and I ate, he was like, "I'm gonna go buy that pool table." So i was like, thats hardcore. So I headed back to the pad, and sho' 'nuff, a few hours later, he busts in an says, i need help carrying this thing up the stairs.
The table-top weighed like a couple hundred pounds, it was one big slate slab and the wood job around it looks suprisingly good. "How much did this cost?" You may be asking yourself. It cost 770RMB with the table, 4 pool cues, a granny guide, a triangle, all the balls, and chalk. If you figure out the conversion, thats about $100 US...amazing. Its a real nice table, just needs to be clean. And its great for smashing fingers on the stairwell.
Now....on to the dirty part of my title. So to begin, it started out yesterday around 3pm when I said, "I want some pizza." So I ordered it. Pizza in China, at least from this resturant, is crap. It looked good, but the dough doesnt taste right and it was just odd. But, I began to start really paying for it later that nite. Paying for it about every 2 hours. Today, I have been paying for it about every hour. And where the story takes a turn for the "eeeeeew" is here:
After we got back to Xiaolan, we headed over to the Bond office here to get paid. I needed to make my hourly payment. So i went into the chinese bathroom...mind you these are holes in the floor. But what made it worse was the fact that it seems the chinese don't believe in providing you with napkins or other wiping materials needed to clean yourself. Apparently you need to carry these tools with you whenever you go to a resturant, or need to blow your nose, or....etc,etc,etc. Not really understanding this or knowing, i had none with me...and there was nothing to improvise with. nothing. So, I christened myself on the chinese hole-in-the-floor while biting the bullet for not having any cleaning materials. Mind you, i shall carry cleaning materials with me at all times now.
As for right now, I have to start packing my stuff up since i move into the apartments tomorrow. Gonna be interesting. later.

Posted by Phil at 07:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

1. In China, you don't tip. More than that is that the chinese are insulted when they are tipped. Today, its been raining and a guy delivered a pizza to the house. I wanted to tip him for the terrible trip in the rain, but what I found out in the past few days is that I am not supposed to. I mean, its good for me that I dont have to tip, but coming from a place where tipping is a custom, it feels awkward. Then there is the fact, like at the Snooker bar, the pool attendee was working and doing stuff, which in the States would have been a job dependent on tips. It also didnt help that I don't like people doing common tasks on a pool table for me.

2. T.V. to Chinese girls is like heroin to an addict. This blew my friggin mind. We were watching a bunch of people chatting and conversing and being all active, etc etc. But then the TV was turned on, and all the women just dropped what they were doing and were engrossed by the TV. It doesnt matter whats on either: a soap (which all take place in Ming Dynasty China), the olympics, cartoons, or a cheesy movie. It was like a 4 year old child. Very freaky.

3. Gung Fu in China doesn't exist. I don't get it. I can't find it anywhere. Other than like the Shaolin Temple and Fu-Shan. Its popular here, but yet, I have seen no one doing it

4. All DVDs here are pirated. Well, I kinda knew that before I came...but its more prevalent than I thought. I mean, legitimate business places have pirated copies of some of the US's biggest films and some of the most obscure American films. Take this one for example. "The Land of Leprechauns" starring Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah, thats right. And they went full out on this too. Um, a Punisher rip off starring Casper Van Diem...he's wearing the same shirt as the newest Punisher that was in the States.

5. Well...i cant think of anything else. I just wanted to write something. Later.

Posted by Phil at 04:11 PM | Permalink

Ah. Well, lets see. Woke up this morning around 8. I went to bed at like 10 last nite cause I was dead tired again, it was raining, and I dont know many people yet. This morning, Peter made a crapload of pancakes for all of us in the house, me, Moses (a dude from Virginia) and his wife Amy (from Henan). It was Amy's first taste of pancakes and she enjoyed them. So, afterwards, I chatted to a few of you online before you went out to party @ Luna...aiya, i miss partying at Luna, such a fun club. I proceeded to work a little bit on some DVD work. I then got ready to go practice some martial arts on the roof, i need to get a foto of the roof view, btw. However, there was still water everywhere so scratch that idea. So, Peter and I decided to go out and play some Snooker.
Snooker is an interesting game. Basically, its a pool table, only twice the size with narrower pockets. First, we played a round of regular billiards. Then we played about 4 games of snooker. Quite interesting. We also got some of the "snooker attendents" to play with us. Its odd, places of business around here have lots of people employed, but most of them do nothing, stand around waiting to help, or Just haning out. At the snooker place they were doing this because there wasn't that many patrons at 1pm. Its quite normal apparently. We - Peter and others - think there is something to do with the amount of people there are, the more the government gives them a break. So, we were testing our Mandarin and Cantonese on these attendees and they just laffed at us. Its funny, when we try to speak their language, they laff at us. But when they try to speak are language and do a bad job, we don't laff. Something needs to be done here! Maybe a back of the hand will give them something to think about. LOL! just kidding.
So, i had something to eat while i was there. A UFO sandwich. I thought this was gonna be something "outta this world!" But no...it was just a ham and cheese sandwich melted together by one of those waffle maker thingys. Then, i needed to use the bathroom. I mean, I really needed to. But, when I came to el bano, i was dismayed. I thought this place may have a western style bathroom, but all they had was two foot pads and a hole in the floor. First off, I lost all the need to go when I almost tripped over it. The idea of this as a toilet just amazes me. I mean, you squat...how can you be sure you don't...spill it on your pants or sox or miss. I mean, never having to use this set up before, my accuracy can't be good at all. Anywho. We finished snooker and went off to do other things. Like buy a fone.
We went and grabbed one of our Chinese contigents from the Bond office, Owen. Basically, we needed him to negotiate the phone card, which contains the calling plan and the payment. Chinese fones are like this. They have the main fone and battery, which, after purchased, are basically useless without this little card that fits below the battery. This card contains your fone number and your entire calling plan. So, if you lose this card or break it, your fone is useless until you buy a new one. Luckily, they aren't that expensive, 100 kwai. 100 kwai = $11US. So, after a cool taxi convoy, which i got a mini-movie of that I will try to post, we went around shopping. I gots me a fone now. We then hit up the grocery store and headed back to the house. We are about to go get some dinner. Bye for now.

Posted by Phil at 07:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Classes dont start till Tuesday and I have just been visiting different classes trying to get an idea of whats going on. Been exploring the city. Went to a music store today looking for guitars. This place had such hunks of crap. Nothing spectacular. Just a bunch of cheesy acoustics. Food is really good around here. some of the kids are really cute. I am still dealing with all the staring. That is gonna take some time. There is a shop keeper next door to the Bond Office/School that I have been watching classes at, and she seems to enjoy trying to chat with me in Cantonese.
Lets see.. anything else? Oh, my motor taxi yesterday drove on the sidewalk for about 100 meters. That was pretty bad ass.
Oh, I know. I got off the bus yeseterday at the smaller bus station, the northern one, instead of the one I got off last time in "Zooming around Xiaolan", which is in the south. So, here I thought my place was kinda far, not with in walking distance....it is. So, I told the driver, "Gong Ciao Lu" and he nodded in response. And he began to drive. After a couple minutes...i was thinking...i don't really recognize this area....damnit. we are going in the wrong direction. I feel like an idiot. Soo...after a few minutes of confusion for us both, we decide to go back the other way...and it was the right way. Man...i really need to know the language better. Its a pity that God got pissed off enuff in the Old Testament to seperate people and create different languages just to mess with us. It has given us sooo much trouble. Oh well. You can't undue the past.
Hmm...nothing really else. It rained a bunch today. i slept for about 12-13 hours last nite. I dont really know why. I didnt feel that tired. Well, I am off, its 8pm on a Friday, I am gonna try and find something to do. Ok. Toodles.

Posted by Phil at 08:28 PM | Permalink

Nothing huge happened last nite, just went out for some dinner and walked around. Today thought was really cool. I was supposed to accompany two of the other teachers that live in the house to the head school and sit in on some of the lessons. It was fun and interesting. So, the three of us foreigners head out about 8am and walk to where we are to be picked up by Sparky. So we drive to the local school to pick up Lyn, who then informs us that I have to get out becuase they have to pick up another teacher. I was like, we can put 5 people in this Volkswagen, if these locals can cram 5 adults onto a motorbike we can do it in the car. Apparently that is illegal though. Lyn said it was ok because there was another teacher that would pick me up in 3 minutes. So i sit down and wait...all the while being stared at by the locals. About two minutes go by and Rich shows up. He just seemed to appear outta nowhere and said he just woke up and was told to take me to the school. Soo...this is the cool part.....
We flagged down two motorbike taxis and headed to the bus station. This was sooooo kewl! We were hauling ass thru town on motorcycles. Granted the traffic was still freaking me out, but I am very surprised at the skill of these motorcycle drivers. It was such a great way to start out the day. We got to the bus stop and hopped on the next bus headed for our destination. On the bus, Rich and were helping each other with the languages and i noticed about 5 people staring at me. "Its not polite to stare...didn't your folks ever tell you that?"
We finally reached the school after a traffic jam backed us up for a bit. When I arrived I sat in on a kindergarten class and a middle school level class. The students seemed eager. I was surprised, but I do know that this isn't always the case. These other guy, Larry from California, actually ended his contract early because he hated what he was doing. He told me a bunch of horror stories and made me feel really bad. But when I brought this up with some of the other teachers, they were like..."Oh....Larry....yeah." They went on to explain that he came into this with a closed mind and not a good attitude. He was basically a kill-joy from what I understand. So that alliviated some of my fears right away.
I hung around the school talking to the kids and showing them things. I taught this one kid, Julius, one of those..."urban" handshakes where you snap your fingers and point at the end. It was pretty funny. I enjoyed myself. Then Peter and I hitched a ride with Sparky back to the bus station and headed back to the city. We then took a long, awesome motorbike taxi ride thru the whole city back to the house. It was great. I didnt realize just how huge and beautiful this city was until I got to ride thru about 3/4ths of it on a speeding motorcycle. Really cool. When we got to the house, we exchanged some language software and I needed to photocopy my VISA for the management. We scanned it in and printed it out. I then headed out alone to the local BOND school to drop it off. This bike ride ruled as well. The guy took me thru all the back alleyways and we were zig zagging all over the place, it was like outta a movie. The area around the No. 1 Middle School (where the BOND school is located - and it doesnt mean the #1 Middle school, its just a bizarre naming system they got) is absolutely beautiful. I will try and take a foto.
I took care of the business and asked Mountain and the other people in the office about gung fu and they said they would try to find a place. I sure hope they can. I need to get some exercise. Then I headed back to the house. I felt pretty good as I walked down the street to the house. As I was walking, a man on a bike hauling wood was driving by and staring at me. So I nodded and said hello and he proceed to yell at me as he rode passed. He said about 5 words but the one that stuck out was "gweilo". After the insult I arrived at my door and went in. And here I am. later.

Posted by Phil at 05:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I am gonna start out with an event from last nite. On the way to the house, driving, we started out with the driver, Sparky, me, Leianna, this woman, Amanda, a little girl, who I figured was the daughter, and another girl named May. So...we all started out. Then first, we dropped off May. Then minutes later we dropped off Amanda, but the little girl stayed. I was like, um....ok. The we went for another 10 minutes and pulled up to an allewyway for houses and Sparky and the little girl disappeared for about 2 minutes. Then Sparky came back. I was like, ok. This is fine. Just dropping off people. But then he started to pick up people and drop them off. This confused the crap outta me..I mean, was he a bus. After leaving the alleyway, we went about 10 minutes, picked up this girl Emily. Drove with her for about 20 minutes where we picked up Owen and Mountain, but dropped Emily off...at the same place. Then we drove to where Leianna was staying, dropped her off with Mountain to show her the place and I went to the house with Owen. It was a wierd trip. Quite humorous.
So anywho. I went to bed. Lots of horn honking into the wee hours. It never stopped. I am gonna wear my earplugs tonite. When I showed up there were 2 other teachers awake. Peter from California, and some other guy, from Canada. I chatted with them for all of 1 minute before I went to bed.
I wake up, feeling rested, despite all the horn honking that went on throughout the whole nite...dont chinese ever sleep? I am gonna sleep with my earplugs tonite.
I woke up, and this other guy, Nick, from Ottawa was around. He was packing up because he was headed to Inner Mongolia for a few months. He was excited. He took me out to breakfast and showed me around a bit and we came back here where I began typing all these recent posts and fotos. Then around 12, Emily, the girl from the trip home last nite, showed up with Clyde, this other teacher, and we all went to this nice place for lunch. I was trying to get a feel for their opinions and the all seem to love it. Nick is going to Inner Mongolia and Clyde signed a contract for his 4th year.
Well, I just typed up and posted tons of junk. All of you are asleep and cant chat with you online, so I am gonna go try and find something to do. later gators.

Posted by Phil at 05:35 PM | Permalink

So, i get picked up in this crappy old van with tons of Chinese written all over it. I still have yet to be told what it all says. We were stopped at a lite and these girls on a spree were reading it...for the entire time they were stopped at the light. The van prolly really isn't old, it just looks like it, cause all the vehicles in Zhongshan do. I see new cars every once in awhile, but most cars look straight outta the 60s and 70s. Another thing I noticed was lots of motorbikes and scooters. All the men had motorcycles and all the women had sprees. It was funny. Apparently, as I would find out later in the evening, the record for adults on one of those motorbikes is 5 people. So if I see 6 adults on one, I need to get a foto.
The traffic. OH GOD, THE TRAFFIC!!! HK doesnt hold anything to what goes on here. I was told by many chinese and people that have visited China about the terrible traffic. Nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare you for what I was witnessing. Not even New York City on acid. Total disregard for any driving safety. I couldn't help but watch in horror as I watched a motorcycle with a man and two girls nonchalantly weave in, out, and between these giant hauling trucks. Pedestrians were riding bikes and walking in the center of the road with oncoming traffic honking their horns at them and barely swerving to avoid them. No one knows how to use a turn signal. I was beginning to think that the driver of the van was quite good until what he did next. Along with 4 other cars n trucks, he proceeded to turn left...AT THE SAME TIME...ALL AT ONCE...AS THE OTHER CARS....FROM THE SAME LANE TO THE SAME LANE! To say the least, I was kinda scared. I later asked whether there is much traffic police and a girl said, "Yes". I asked her if she thought they did a good job...she shook her head. There was one instant while driving where a scooter pulled off into the center of the meridan right in front of a bunch of trucks which caused them to honk furiously. But where they pulled off, I saw a chopper-cop...and I believe I saw him with his head lowered and shaking back n forth. "As in... idiots."
So, we pulled up into this parking garage. I thought we were heading to the school, but nope, John had arranged a dinner for us...us meaning me and this other teacher that arrived from the 2pm ferry. She is Aboriginal...from New Zealand. Anyway. I walk into this resturant with David the driver. Its a pretty big resturant. They had about 8 hostesses for some reason. And they were all in red chi-paos (chinese dresses). As I walked thru to the back of the resturant, all the chinese were looking and staring at me and all the waiteresses and waiters were bowing and saying hello. Talk about freaking me out. I hate the idea of people bowing. STOP BOWING. They take me to the back of the resturant were there are 8 rooms, all with doors closed. It felt like being in a gangster movie. The open the last one and there is John Zhang, along with two other english teachers, Leianna - the aboriginie, and Tracy - a chinese english teacher...who never stopped giggling. They were all engrossed in the S. Korea VS China olympic ping pong tournament. We chatted n stuff. And they then took me to the Bond Language School. I dont really know how to descibe it, hopefully i will get some fotos.
So, now it was time to take me to my place of residence. Apparently, the teacher living in it isn't leaving for a few days, so I am staying at the house they have in the next city north, Xiaolan - its in the Zhongshan metro area, but about 40 minutes from dowtown Zhongshan. Its an old school town, modern, but still chinese old school. This house is huge. Friggin huge. A giant patio, that if I were to stay there I could practice my martial arts n stuff on. Its a really odd place, this area. I haven't ever seen anything quite like it. I have in movies, but its not the same in real life. Its gonna take getting use to. Zhongshan is like this too, but it caters to more touristy stuff. Anywho. I am gonna go take some fotos of this house. Talk to you soon.

Posted by Phil at 10:55 PM | Permalink

I arrived at 6pm today. I have great stories, i need time to formulate them. I will post them either today or tomorrow. Cheers everyone!....

This is a long one. Basically, after I got back to the hotel, I called John Zhang, the principal of the school I was gonna be working at, to tell him that I missed the 2pm ferry because the VISA office was late with my documents. He told me to call him when I got my ferry ticket. By this time, after walking all around Hong Kong and doing junk, I was pretty sweaty. It was around 90 degrees with equal humidity. The front desk allowed me to go hop in the shower in the exercise room so I could freshen up. Got done with that and felt great. It was about 300pm by now, so I grabbed my bags and a taxi and headed out to the Ferry Depot. My taxi driver was…interesting. He had lots of bodily noises: many burps and clearing of the throats n such. Kinda like me, but not classy. He then proceeded to ask me political questions:
-“Who are you giving a ticket for?”
-Excuse me?
-“Ticket…who are you going to give a ticket to in November?”
-Oh. Who am I gonna vote for?
-“Yes”
-Trogdor. (see www.homestarrunner.com and click on Strombad emails)
By that time we had arrived at the ferry depot. He told me to watch my money pocket.
Trying to get the ticket to Zhongshan was pretty humorous since there were like 10 ticket counters and I couldn’t find the one for Zhongshan. I found it after a couple rounds of checking the flashing signs. I bet I looked like a jackass. I also prolly looked paranoid trying to be conscious of the people around me as to not make an easy target for pick pocketers.
I got my ticket and went the departure area. My ferry was leaving at 4pm so I didn’t get a much of a chance to call John, and I couldn’t find a fone. So, I figured, they will have a fone in Zhongshan port won’t they? They didn’t.
So the ferry ride was pretty fine. Nothing spectacular happened, we hit one wave that sent dishes flying in the kitchen, that’s it. They were playing this bizarre movie on the TV (most Chinese films are bizarre). Simon Lam (Jet Li’s police friend in The Black Mask) was one of the leads and his character was quite goofy. The plot entailed a weird love rectangle and dealt with android babies…like I said…bizarre. It would prollly make more sense if I had the subtitles. It was a pretty fast ferry as well. The Boblo Boat on steroids. Only nicer.
Now, in HK, the ferry port had tons of stuff everywhere, pictures, electronic boards on the wall that tell you when a boat is leaving, pop machines, advertisements, etc etc. Zhongshan had none of this. It was a long, lonely white concrete hallway with dirt on the walls that seems to have accumulated over the years or thru construction. It was so nice to get off the ferry and see the Immigration officers look so darn happy.
After I made it thru the welcoming customs officers, I made my way down the rest of the hallway until there was a man at a desk. From his desk, I saw the exit where about 30 chinese taxi drivers had accumulated, all with the “eye of the tiger”. So, I went to the man at the desk and asked, “deen-wha?” (which I think means fone in cantonese) in addition I made the universal fone symbol, the thumb and pinky finger extended and held up to your ear. He said yes and pointed near the exit. So I was like, ok, the foone must be outside. It wasn’t. What was outside was about 10 chinese taxi drivers trying to take my bags and trying to say "taxi". It wasn’t about their 5th time I understood and said "no thanks". So, I scanned the area around for a fone, but there was none. All the while I had people speaking long sentences of Cantonese/Mandarain at me. Try to keep your composure when you're:
1. trying to think of a plan of action for contacting John
2. entering a complete foreign country
3. dealing hardcore taxi drivers intent on you using their services and trying to talk to you
4. doing your best to be aware that no one is trying to pick pocket you
5. and trying to respond in the only Cantonese you do know and trying to understand them.
I thought I was doing well until a British/Aussie woman came over to me and asked if
I was lost, cause “you look like you are lost”. I told her my issue and she gave me her card. All the while this was going on, a man, who I thought was a taxi driver or an escort offered me the use of his cellfone, after the 3rd offer, I took him up on it. I was afraid he would then want me to go in his taxi. My mind was all over the place. He was really nice.
I prolly wouldn’t have look so lost if I hadn’t put the fone# in my bag and forgotten where I put it. I found it after a couple minutes and got a hold of John. He said he was sending out a man in a gawdy van to pick me up. I will have fotos of this hilarious van soon. I gave the fone back to the very kind man and profusely thanked him. I tried to speak some Cantonese with him for a few minutes, but to no avail. I didn’t understand his long replies. He gave me his card though. I made a note on it that I would contact him in the future when my Mandarin/Cantonese was better, take him out for a beer.
I proceeded to hang out at the waiting area by myself for about 30 minutes while I waited for the van. But during this time, I wrote down all this on a piece of paper to type up later. Every once in awhile, a port authority person would walk by and look at me. No one gave me any trouble. The van pulled up and I laughed...

Posted by Phil at 08:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I woke up about 7am and it looked to be a gorgeous day. The sun was shining and it was clear skies. So I gets up and have some breakfast. I then packed up all my clothes and straightened up all my stuff. I left all my bags with the concierge. I then headed down the street to the bank to get a bunch of money to pay off the VISA fee, my Ferry fee (I know what you are thinking Matt Rose), and then some more money for the Taxi fee from the hotel to the ferry launch. I went to go pick up my VISA at 12pm. However it wasn’t done yet, they said about 1pm. So, I walked around the area and took some fotos as well has had a nice lunch. Smoked Salmon Fruit Salad and an Asahi…sweet nectar of the Japanese gods.
I headed back to the office and the VISA still was not ready…but it would be in a few moments. So I sit down, and there were others waiting on theirs’ as well. Sal, the fella sitting next to me, started chatting with me. Turns out he was heading out to Shenyang (I think) to teach. He had taught in Zhongshan a few years ago and said its really nice. He asked me if I knew why the L-VISA (tourist visa) was now only valid for 30 days and was $740HK (Hong Kong Dollars…$1US = $7.79HK). I told him the Bush story. He was like, “Figures”. Even on the other side of the world, Bush has managed to piss us off.
The coolest thing happened on my way back to the hotel to get my stuff. I had a taxi take me back to the MTR station so I could catch the subway. I decided to try and talk to him in Cantonese. To my surprise, it worked. We had a basic conversation - nothing wild, but he understood all of what I said and I understood all of what he said. Made me feel good. He giggled a little, but I think he was surprised. He then dropped me off at the subway. I went back to the hotel.

Posted by Phil at 02:38 PM | Permalink

It doesn't exist. I know. I know. A critique on fashion by me. Its like having the Pope telling buddhists how to pray. I get lots of good laffs just looking at all the outfits. Imagine this, if you will:
1. Take all the shitty and horrendous clothes that people wore in the U.S. during the 70s and 80s...i mean, the really ugly stuff.
2. Combine that with traditional chinese garments - which i find very pleasing to the eye.
3. Throw in some cheap English suits.
4. Add a black garbage bag and slash it with razor blades.
5. Bring in some fashions from the times of Sinbad.
6. Sprinkle with dyed mullets and vaccum haircuts

Throw all these into a big pot, boil, let sit in a steamy, high heat/high humidty enviroment and you get just a slight taste as to the crap these people wear...at the same time. I swear, this is the never ending city of clash. I can't wait to see what China looks like.
i am going to bed. its midnite and i got lots to do tomorrow.
choi geem.

Posted by Phil at 12:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ok. So. People either love him or hate him. Its an interesting thing to see the two extreme emotions arguing when there is no middle ground. Me, on the other hand, well, I always like to think that he has done some good things...but on the other hand, he has done some pretty terrible things. Well, i came across another issue yesterday that the administration seems to have screwed up on and pissed off loads of people. It all has to deal with the administration's requirements for Chinese VISA applicants to get their fingerprints taken. The Chinese government, seeing this as insult, decided to boost up the price for American VISAs in China. So, all because of a decision that will prolly not even help stop a terrorists because they will always find a way, I now have to pay an exorbant (sp?) amount of money just so I can get into China. With this hightened level of Nazi security, who really suffers here? The people that don't do anything wrong. There are other ways to protect the country than taking away freedoms..but anyway, I digress. The funny thing is, once I get into China...I know that I am gonna miss America and everything we take for granted, even with all that has gone on, I am sure it will be much better than the atmosphere in China.
Lets see...what else....hmmm. Oh, I have been getting a little bit culture shocked already. I think I have been in HK for 2.5 days, I dont think I have seen more than 30 white folks. Its pretty weird. I haven't spoken with many people either. I mean, most of the people know english here, however, it isnt the best. So, I am going thru my cantonese lessons n such, trying to pick up more phrases and words.
I have been walking around alot. Each time I venture out in different areas, I keep building. "Baby steps, baby steps." Its kinda hard when you are here by yourself. I went to their "Time Square". This place was friggin HUGE! Like 9 or 10 floors of shops. It was mind boggling. Fashion here is really funny. Along with its music. The stuff is just crappy and cheesy. Always use for a good laff.
I went to a music store in search for a guitar. The store is the same as the ones in the states. Overpriced instruments. I was hoping to find a deal on a Gretsch, but to no avail. There was this Chinese kid butchering "Stairway to Heaven". I laffed my ass off...on the inside. On the outside, i played it straight.
I know the reasons why there are so many problems driving here in HK and all the accidents that go along...its because these idiots walk and drive on the wrong side of the road. And their stearing wheels are on the wrong side. I am guessing England has troubles too as well as the Aussies. I almost got plowed by a double decker bus because I was looking the wrong way for oncoming traffic. Speaking of double decker busses, i need to ride one. There was this hilarious incident when i first arrived on Friday. We were leaving the airport in the bus shuttle, and we were going around a curve, and i saw this white car just go a straight line and cut the bus off with no shout or honk from the bus driver...like it was expected. That pretty much gives you the idea of what it is like. Well, thats all i can think of now, i will write more when I something hits me.

Posted by Phil at 07:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I woke up Thursday morning @ 430am and headed to the airport with my mom, dad, and my aunt Sharron. Got my ticket with no troubles. I was picked for "special" screening at the security lane. This entailed them opening all my bags and making them selves look like idiots. "What's this?" Its a friggin external hardrive, Jack-hole. I waited for about 20 minutes before we hoped onto the United Express to Chicago. This was a little puddle hopper that seated about 30 people. It was kinda freaky when they asked for 3 people to move from the front of the plane to the back of the plane so they could balance it. I was like, AAAAAGGGH!!!! What do you got down there? A bubble-leveler? One of those things you use to make a picture frame perfectly horizontal?
So, i was lucky enuff to sit next to a dude from a Windsor plant that bottles Crowne Royale Wiskey. He was on his way to settle a union dispute with the bosses or union in Wisconsin. I told him to "break them". He said he would. I had just recently purchased Bruce Campbell's "If Chins Could Kill" and i was about to read when he was like, Bruce Campbell rox. So we started talking about tons of crap. It was fun. We arrived in Chicago O'Hare airport. He went off to destroy a union stand-off and I went to the gate i need to get to to go to HK. The waiting area was empty. So i began reading. The book is awesome. I couldnt help but laff out loud sometimes. The book hit so close to home with the location he grew up and his interactions with family and friends, sounds like my childhood. I recommend it. Very intersting read.
I hung out in the waiting area for awhile...about 4 hours. I arrived in Chicago around 830AM. People began to show up around 1030am. I got into a conversation with this fella going to Guangzhou. He was pretty funny. He told me some things to expect and what not too. He said the chinese that i do know sounded really good, so that is a plus.
1145am finally came around and we boarded. I learned something on this 15 hour flight:
1. I can't fall asleep on planes.
2. When you are on that long a flight, you bond with your seat-mates. I am lucky I had 2 nice ones. Some cute Philopino girl and an old Chinese guy. We had some fun conversations and we got along well. I was lucky that I didnt get stuck to any jerks or Jabba the Huts. That woulda blown.
The plane ride really wasnt bad, they played some movies and the food wasnt the best, but it wasnt bad. There was a screaming baby from time to time, but that really didnt bother me. I also had some earplugs. However, I wanted to pound this little african kid sitting a few rows ahead of me because he kept playing with this toy that played the "Jingle Bells" song. I was like...ITS FRIGGIN SUMMER! Another irritating things was that one of the movies they played was "Garfield". I wanted to puke. but i didnt watch it. Overall it was a fine flight, tiring, but fine.
So, I arrived @ the Hong Kong International Airport around 5pm Friday Hong Kong time which would be 5am Detroit time. Got thru customs about 520pm. Just to let you know, I hate dealing with customs at any border crossing. Why don't they trust me? I never did anything wrong...really wrong I mean. So i got my baggage around 530pm. Went to the the shuttle bus location and got a ride for 6pm. First off, the bus driver sucked. It should have been theoretically 45minutes...but it took him 2x that. I really dont think he knew where he was going. He just kept circling the area..I was like, THOSE ARE THE LANDMARKS THAT ARE CLOSE TO THE HOTEL! DROP ME OFF HERE!!!
Checked into the hotel. It is actually quite nice, however, the rooms are really small. I will post fotos I got internet access as well, obviously. Its nice. I refreshed a bit. My friend Wendy, who I ahve been chatting with for over the past year showed up here with her sister, Carla, and her other friend, Money (that's right, her english name is Money), who I have emailed convos with. We walked around the city and went to this really good resturant. Very good. Walked around more and chatted. I got back to the hotel around 1130pm. Takled to a couple people and went to bed around 12am. I set the alarm for 7am so i could get up and get to the VISA office when they opened, but the alarm never went off! Got up around 8am. The subway in HK is kinda neat. Kinda like Toronto. Took a taxi to the office from the subway exit point. Pretty cheap taxi fares. Got to the VISA office around 10. I will pick it up on Monday @ 12pm. Then I will head over to Zhongsan, China.

Well, I am off to take a nap, i am tired.
-me

Posted by Phil at 09:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)