Phil and Red's Excellent Adventure

So, there is this one kid that came up to me at my school the other day. When the kid started talking to me, I honestly couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl. Even after the name I couldn't figure it out. I have come to the conclusion after about a week that the kid is a girl. Her name is...Wee-Wee. Yeah...too bad it wasn't Pee-Wee. This girl though, her english surprised me. Out of all the students I come into contact with, hers I think is the best and she is only in 3rd or 4th grade. She was holding a long conversation with me. I was impressed.
There is this other girl, i think in the 4th grade that lives just down the street from me. Her name is Cagny. On Thursday or Friday we usually end up walking back together. Her english is pretty good too. Can't be more than 4th grade.
I shared a taxi with a local school teacher last nite come back from Xue Qi. I am blanking on her chinese name, but her English name is...catch this...Bear. As in Teddy Bear...i hope. She knew as much English as I did Cantonese, so talking to her was pretty interesting.
There was a male student, prolly about 16 or so in a PETS II class that I was teaching for 2 hours on Saturday...it actually was fun, i thought I was gonna hate it. It was good, the students are quite smart.
This boy asked me how to spell his English name that he picked up from watching a movie. He was saying, Belater...and I looking at him all weird and thinking and saying..thats not a name...i dont' even think thats a word. But then...after a couple minutes I realized he was trying to say, "Blade". This 15-16 year old chinese kid...skinny as hell, has named himself after a black half-human/half-vampyr comicbook character that hunts vampyrs in which Wesley Snipes butchered in the movies with his terrible acting and crappy marital arts presentation.
I haven't met this following child, but apparently the trophy for the weirdest and best English name for a chinese person is....drum roll...."The Mushroom King". I'm not joking around. There was a kid in one of the classes of my co-workers/teachers. He named himself the Mushroom King. My stomach hurt from laughing after hearing that one. Now I just hope I can meet him and bow down to his Highness.
I also want to meet some students that have the names, Apple, Tree, Bird, Rock, and Plant.
T-shirts here are hilarious. Companies here take random nouns, verbs, adjectives, and other structures and throw them together in a pot and mix them up....and most of the time the sentence structures are all messed up and whatever the shirts are trying to say dont make a lick of sense. Also some of the things that people wear. For example, you may see a little old woman carrying a yoke (a bar that sits across your shoulders with buckets attached to each end) down the street wearing a t-shirt that says, "THUG LIFE" ...i mean...why does my camera battery have to be dead at that time.
UGH!
sooooooo funny!