Phil and Red's Excellent Adventure

Today was interesting. Quite.
1st class went well with the 4th graders. The 2nd class was a whole different story and Lucy had to sit in on another teacher's class today so I was all by my lonesome. This is the 4th grade class with the two really naughty kids. One of them I think has some mental issues and I think the other one just has ADD or something. Anywho, I was getting sick of trying to punish them by having them stand in the front of the class because it wasn't working and Lucy is always yelling at them. Most kids, once is enuff. These kids make games out of it it seems like. They get up there, goof around, get some laughs. Last time I made him hold chair with his arms outstretched in the doorway. That seemed to work for about 5 minutes until he started running up and down the halls. I made the decision to just ignore them and see if that helped. However, after about 5 minutes of that, I learned that that wasn't gonna work. The fat mental kid wasn't much bothersome today for some reason, but at one point he took his shoes off in the back of the class and started picking his toes with his pen. I didn't even bother doing anything. He is quiet, thats good enuff. The other kid though, the ADD spaz, man. The first 5 minutes of class, he was up and rolling around in the window shades, harassing a girl, walking up and down the rows grabbing people's books, and disrupting the class. That's it, this kid has issues. He is not doing it for attention. I was really irritated and I could not teach. I took him by the hand to the office. Very calmly he went. Like it was an everyday occurance. I took him down once. I took him to the English area and May was the only one there. Oh...this is great. Like May is gonna be able to do anything. So i left him there. I got back to class and 5 minutes later, there was again peeping his head over the window and running back and forth between the doors. So, I took him down to the office again, as I walked to the English area, there were no teachers there, one of the Gym teacher's (the former police officer) saw me escorting this kid, and he snickered..."He's back..." I put him in Lucy's seat this time. I went back to class.
The cat came back, he just wouldn't stay away. 5 minutes later, again, he was at the windown and peeping his head round the door. I can just imagine that May scolded him and then let him go. Like that is doing anything. So I took him down to the office. As I walk thru there again, I was checking to see if any other english teacher was there and i saw the gym teacher again giggle as I brought this kid in. I couldn't find an english teacher so i was like, i got an idea. I took him to the headmasters' office. In there sat the Uber-Headmaster, the Vice-Headmaster, and the English Headmaster. I stood there in the doorway with the kid and i said, "Wo bu yao." (i don't want.) The three headmasters just nodded their heads at the same time.
I went back to class and taught for about 5 minutes and the rest of the kids were not behaving so I gave them the silent treatment for about 10 minutes before they all started talking to me in English, which was great, the rest of the class time was very good. Wretched little swine they are.
For lunch, I was told to meet the English teachers at the Flower Hotel for Dim Sum, so I did. On my way out as I walked down the hall, I saw, just outside of the Headmasters' office, the little boy that I don't want, talking and crying to one of the headmasters and another woman who could only be his mother. Busted.
Lunch was funny because Coco brought her daughter Michelle and made her sit next to me so she could speak english. It was funny. I first ran into her and Coco as I was coming out of the bathroom from washing my hands. Michelle saw me, got all excited and stood at attention as she gave me a big smile and said, "HI PHIR!" Well, actually, her english is pretty good since she has been practicing alot. So during lunch I was teasing her and her mother all in good fun and they did it back to me. It was enjoyable. Finally I don't feel left out of these lunches. Usually I am with all the English teachers and all they do is speak Guangdonghua and occasionaly ask me about some random english word like, "Bedroom". Thats what I got today. "How do you say it?" Bedroom. "Ok. Thank you." Strange...
After the funny exchange of languages between Michelle and I, I headed over to the hospital because Yumi was on the drip there. She has a mild infection that requires her to be ripped off and spend 2.5 hours of her day for multiple days getting a bacterial drip thru an I.V. I swear, the chinese are sooo incompetent at things dealing with medical practice. There are better ways of doing this. I have learned that there are no OBGYNs and a friend of mine and I had a discussion about the lack of sexual/puberty education these people get.
Here is an example:

N/A: I wonder if they even know what an OB-GYN is. There is probably some assinine chinese solution for a woman's period..."eat the roasted ovaries of a platypus that has basked in the full moon's light for 3 hours. Chase them down with a warm cup of tea mixed with mercury. After this, stick some needles in your lower back and call your mother. . .she'll know what to do."
Boy. . .Sometimes when I talk to women here, I often am reminded of how glad I am that I wasn't born Chinese.
irmenudo: yeah. lol. true that....and the fact that you can't leave the country
N/A: Yeah. . .I mean, can you imagine having a personal problem that you needed to take care of, but couldn't talk about it because of "shame". I mean, in the US, women are always talking about their nether-regions.
That, and the sheer lack of sex-ed if frightening. Yeah, my friend was telling me about how he went to a hotel with his girlfriend, and had taken a bath. He let the water out of the bath, and suggested that she take one.
She refused.
"Come on," he said. "It's very relaxing, you'll enjoy it."
She absolutely refused. Why????? She was absolutely convinced that she would become pregnant if she used the bath after he did. Even with new water, she refused.
N/A: And the crazy period rules my friend gave me, which I'm going to remember forever.
irmenudo: period rules?
N/A:
1. you can't eat Ice Cream when Aunty Flo comes to town. Do this, and it's headache time next month.
2. Same for sitting on the floor or anywhere cold.
3. Same for WASHING YOUR HAIR.
irmenudo: what? she can't eat icecream? thats insane!
N/A: yup. We went to McD's one night, got ice cream got outside, and she tells me in all earnestness that she "forgot. . .can't eat this."
irmenudo: LOL!

All that seriously happened. Seriously. I can't make this stuff up people.

Anywho, I showed up at the hospital to keep her company and then she came back to my place to rest before class. I hate spending time in that Drip Room. Its so depressing. People laid up in these padded airplane seats with tubes sticking into their arms as they stare off into space. Always 2-3 babies crying...always. Even if there are no babies in the vacinity, the hospital staff has a recording that they loop, I am sure of that. When babies are there, they either have bloodied bandages on their bodies, the same with the grownups. But the thing that gets me sometimes is seeing a baby with an IV jammed into their forehead. It really messes with you when you see the mother carrying the baby across the parking lot in her little baby wrap. Chinese women have this wrap/cloth they wrap their baby up in and sling their child on their back or front. Its pretty efficient way of carrying a child, but it doesn't provide head or neck support. I don't know how many babies I have seen that I thought were dead because of the way their head just hung out of the wrap when they were really just sleeping. Anywho, I see these women carrying their little kids in warp, with an IV jammed in their forehead, and the mother is carrying a long metal pole above her head that contains the drip medication for the child. Its a sight to see. Next time I will try and take a foto.
2pm came around and I headed to class where I headed back to deal with the 6th graders. The first class was ok. This is the one with a bunch of male trouble makers. It turns out these are the only ones willing to perform in any activities unless i force girls to do it. They have a tendency when I tell them what to do, 2 of them do it, the other 4 stand around pretending not to understand for fear of making fools of themselves (which in essence they are doing by not participating - go figure), and the other two start to wrestle. I have given up trying to control it because at least this way the rest of the class enjoys it and they are easier to get to do the lesson.
The 2nd 6th grade class went really well. It was a blast.
between 6th grade and Kindergarten, I went to a shop to get a bunch of stickers cause I was running low. I got some really cheezy ones, they rule.
Kindergarten went pretty well. I got the 2-4 year olds to all say "My name is....". Well, all except about 3-4 out of 25. Lynn was my assistant today. So i didn't have Gary scaring the kids like last time.
Afterwards I had to go to teach Daisy.
She learns so quickly. I plan a lesson that should take an hour and wiht her its over in like 20 minutes. Afterwards, it was my lesson. I was just practicing stuff with Lisa and Daisy. At one point Daisy had to go to the bathroom apparently. I didn't realize this until I looked up and asked, "Where's Daisy run off too?" Her mom looked off in her directions and then I heard her.... At the bottom of the stairs...in a possible potty trainer or can...or something. I DON'T KNOW! I was like, "Ooooh man!" I was trying to block the thought that Daisy participated in disgusting chinese bowel movements. Totally ruined now. I was totally saddend. All I could see of her was her red stockinged knees and feet. As I groaned in agony, Lisa told me that Daisy asked her not to tell me what she was doing. But i found out and then Daisy peered out behind her mom's scooter and my bicycle, her face on her knees with this huge adorable smile and giggle as I heard a "ploop". GOD WHY!? I then told her that it better not be smelly. Daisy's grandma then came out of the kitchen and turned the corner almost stepping on Daisy and yelped. LOL! Then her grandfather came home and went to go to the stairs to get something and was taken aback and laughed and said something. I just hung my head and shook it. Lisa was laughing. Crazy.
The rest of the night was pretty much nothing special. I got dinner at the noodle shop. I came home and the people were all watching that Taxi movie with Queen Latifa and Jimmy Fallon. Any movie with Queen Latifa as the lead...ugh....
Goodnite.