Phil and Red's Excellent Adventure

http://charrey.net/gallery/v/phil/album31
I feel fantastic today! I woke up this morning, after the shower went from hot to cold while I was standing in it and I was completely awake, I felt great. There's nothing like waking up after spending ~24hours laid up in bed with food poisoning and then feeling great. I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself. I hope today is gonna be a good day. The gang has got to decide what we want to do tonite for the festivities. Most likely dinner and then off to a club.
I had my friday classes today. A bunch of 3rd and 4th graders. sweet. They are always fun to work with. Since it was butt cold today, at the beginning of each class I got the kids to jump around and get some blood flowing. This put them in a good mood and allow their minds to be molded better. All first 3 classes went well.
I then had lunch. I biked fast over to the Xiaolan office and got paid. So that is another positive of today. It looks like I will still have to work on Sunday though. Fudge. Then, I headed over to the gym. Finally got my butt to the gym in this cold weather. I made sure to warm up enough.
After that I head back to the house to finalize some plans with Antoine (the frenchy) and some of the gang. I then headed back to class.
The first class I had to go it alone because Anna needed to watch Coco's class. So, I had to take these buggers all by myself. It went well. I told them if they were bad I would open all the windows and turn on all the fans. They started to freak. Chinese people in the south can't handle the cold.
At one point I turned around and there was a girl crying. I ran over. "Who did it!?" All the kids surrounding her pointed to the boy behind her. So I took him up to the front and stood him there. Then I turned around right after that and other students were pointing across the room to another student, a boy this time, who was crying. So, I went over there, and all the kids pointed to the boy in front of him. So I sent him up to the front. Then after about 10 minutes. The same kids that pointed him out said , "No" as they pointed to him again and began pointing at the kid behind the child crying. "AIYA!" SPEAK ENGLISH!. So I sent the kid back to his seat. Sorry. Blame your classmates. When the kids don't have a chinese teacher, its hard to control them sometimes.
When class was over I took the other kid still standing down to the office. I had Lucy and Anna talk to him. Anna told him that if he continued to act like that, I will use my chinese gung fu and hit him. He then started to cry. I stood there with my jaw dropping. You said WHAT!?
Then the 2nd class was great. I imitated a-Chan (the PE teacher) when he yells attention. This got a good laugh from the kids and Anna.
Then I had kindergarten. It started out well. I came running into the class and played with the kids until everyone showed up. Doris (a new teacher) was subbing for Owen cause Owen had to do something else. I asked her to get me some scissors and tape. She brought back scissors and a cassette tape. I lauged on the inside. I tried to explain "tape" to her. She left and brought back 9 magnets. *SLAP ON THE FOREHEAD* (mine not hers). I didnt do it really. But I wanted to. It was hard today to control them.
The psychotic one (the small spaz that sounds like he has been smoking for 60 years - and looks like Pigpen from Peanuts - without the dust cloud) wouldn't stay quiet. He was running around and yelling. He and one of the girls were ruffhousing. Just for play, but he was the one starting it. After I cut short an annoying game of Duck Duck Goose, I had my back turned to the class because I was erasing points from the cretins causing trouble during the game. I turned around and the psychotic Pig-Pen was wimpering and then crying. Apparently Mickey punched him in the chest from across the table. (Mickey is one of the girls) I know he was doing something to her for her to punch him so in a way, he deserved it. But she shouldn't have hit him. Two "wrongs" don't make a "right". (but three do ;-) )
So anyway, as they were explaining it to Doris they began yelling at each other again, so I slammed my hand down on the desk and scolded them both. This caused Mickey to start bawling. Psycho Pig-Pen wasn't too happy either. I let the kids go run to the bathroom while Doris continued to talk with the both of them. I told Doris to tell them not to yell at each other and you don't hit people.
So when everyone was back (after 5 minutes, becuase a couple kids went off running down the hall) I didnt say anything. They sat in there seats and I just stared at them with my arms crossed. Everyone took the hint and sat in there chairs and were quite. We did that for 5 minutes about. A kid would start fooling around and I would stare and he would stop. Psycho Pig-Pen started to make goofy faces so I scolded him some more.
Mickey was still crying.
We then played some "Phil Says..." and this cheered everyone up. Mickey was better but mopey. Class was over. Thank God. My thumb was in a bit of pain on the joint from when I slammed my hand on the desk.
Then Daisy showed up and was chasing me around. So I played with her a bit. I threw her onto my shoulders so she was sitting on them. I went around taking the animal pictures off the walls. She would say what they were. She is smart.
I then bounced down the stairs with her on my shoulders and she was slapping my face and kicking my chest. It was hilarious. She was giggling alot. We got to her grandmother. Her grandmother told Doris that the day that I had to have class canceled because of food poisoning, Daisy came to the class with her mom to see me, and I wasnt there. Daisy began to cry...alot. She was so upset and she told her mom to find me. I heard that and I got choked up. Awwww. Peter told me 4 year olds get attached pretty easily. It sucks for when I leave, she is gonna be sad, but she will get over it.
As Peter and I were leaving, Doris told us of a Dance Party at the Tour Hotel at 630pm. Thanks for telling us that NOW! we already made plans. We will check it out after dinner. I then spent some time online talking to Doris trying to get a certain peice of information. IT TOOK FOREVER!
About 7pm, Peter went out to the CRC and 1+1 to get some Orange Juice and Vodka so he could make screw drivers. Apparently he didnt want to wait till we got to the resturant. Well, really, the reason he did it was becausee he didn't want to pay exorbanant amounts of money on alcohol. We were planning on going to a real nice resturant and he didn't want to have to pay. In China you can bring your own beverages into places. There are no problems with that apparently.
So, after most of us met at the Tour Hotel we headed over to the resturant. Antoine looked like a diplomat. He was wearing this white chinese fancy shirt with black pants and white gloves. All he needed was a cane and a top hat. On our way there Susannah was sure to tell us many times that the duck at this place was fantastic. Until we started teasing her about that, she prolly said it around 5x.
Dinner was fantastic. There was a large group so we placed to round tables together. Toby, much to my chagrin, sat next to me on my right in the crevice where the two tables connected and Peter sat on my left. Next to Peter was Robert, then Susannah, then Sean, then Emily, then Jolleen, then John, then the crevice again. Then there was one of Antoine's friends, then Ash, another girl, a boy, a girl, then Antoine, then his girlfriend, then another chinese girl.
Peter was pouring screwdrivers for everyone, I only had one because I don't like them that much and I am a lightweight so I needed to be careful. Everyone was enjoying it. Peter, throughout dinner drank a bit too much. I think he had 3 potent ones. He has always claimed to be able to drink hard and what not. He sure wasn't able to hold it tonite. Thats for sure. His plan was to stay out till 5am... HA HA HA HA! By the time the really good, but really spicy Hunan food arrived, Peter was noticeably much louder and tipsy. Oh boy. This will be an interesting night.
As for Toby, well, luckily Toby and I didn't get into any arguements at all tonite. Thank the Maker. However, alot of people wanted to smack him, especially Susannah (who is his mate), because his table manners were extremely rude. For one, during the apetizers, the chinese like to eat some peanuts with a bit of oil on them. Peanut oil...prolly. I don't know. So, all of us are using our chopsticks because that is the proper thing to do and it doesn't spread germs in the community plate. However, Toby competely brushed this aside, and instead of taking the bowl of peanuts and using chopsticks to push some onto his side plate (which would have been polite) he reached in with his grimmy hand and grabbed a bunch. Then he would giggle at his apparent lack of manners. "Its impossible to use chopsticks with peanuts." The worst though came as the awesome duck was passed around...This Duck was great! I totally agree with Susannah. He was reaching with his hands and plucking peices off. This is when I saw the look of horror on Susannah's face, along with others. He just kept doing it. Even after others were telling him to use chopsticks. And people say Americans are rude and arrogant in other cultures.
Also, as we sat and chatted together during dinner, I learned more about the history of Toby...in addition to the fact that he was a squatter back in London (someone who breaks into people's homes while they are away and lives there for a time) and that ever since he came to China, I have never seen him in a different set of clothes. He wears the same damn thing everyday! Talk about dirty and smelly. When he was at university he tried to join the Socialist Party Group (or whatever). However, they wouldn't allow him to join because his views weren't Marxist enuff, apparently they were to Stalinistic? or something. (Um...thats more communist than socialist I think.) However, he hung out with them. And he said it was with them that he learned how to shoplift. That helped put him through college. !!!!!!!!!!! He was talking about how for one Christmas he shoplifted all his presents for family and friends. When he told his family and friends, he was never asked to get another gift since....Wow..what a way to celebrate the birth of Christ, by shoplifting. Maybe this explains why Toby never got a present for Rumi. I will let you conclude what to think of this man.
During dinner, i was a little happy as well. The whole table seemed to be in joyous spirits. Everyone was having a good time and chatting alot. Peter, by the end of the eating portion was getting even more louder and saying things that he maybe wouldn't have otherwise. Nothing bad. However, the only one not seeming to be in a festive mood was Sean. Peter said something out of the blue, and I took where he was going with it and tried my best to kill it, and i said something like, "And I will end that right here." And Sean piped in out of the blue, "Yeah, please. Would you, its getting pretty tiring."
WHOOOAAAA there tiger! What's up with the out-of-the-blue hostility. It wasn't just me that noticed it, everyone saw it at the table, but I was the only one who took it personally because he said it directly at me like I was causing problems. A few moments later, John, gave him a quizical look and Sean, was, like, "I don't know, man, just some comments are being said that are blah blah blah..." (i missed out what he said on the "blah blah blah" part. The thing was that no one was talking about or saying anything that we don't usually talk about. No one was out of place at all. We were interacting with each other like we do all the time. Sean must be PMSing or something.
Fine, Sean. You gonna be spoilsport on New Year's Eve after coming out of hiding for 1 month (he was MIA for 1 month...never calling or getting ahold of us to do anything...Susannah claimed that he was taking care of her because she was sick, but still, he would have time to do stuff with his friends). If you are gonna be a baby, I will treat you like one. I was very offended. I hope Susannah gave him a talking later.
Yeah, that dinner was full of diplomacy. I think after that night I could be a member in politics. I know now after being in China how to not say what I mean, but be honest about it and not be rude or obviously upset.
So we got the bill taken care of and for the large group we had, it came to about 400RMB...which is quite good for the amount of people we had there. So, a bunch of us put in a couple hundreds and that excess money was then used to help buy drinks at the bar later on that night. Sweet. We had decided to go to Friends Bar in ShiQi for the New Year. Its a big X-Patriot bar in ShiQi run by Canadians, so there was gonna be a big party. John seems to hate that place, but I have never been. So I was excited.
So we headed to the Tour Hotel where we were to pick up Yumi and crash a chinese ballroom dance party that we were invited to earlier that evening, but didnt get tickets. Rumi couldn't make it because she was feeling ill, so that made Toby decide to go spend time with her. So Toby left. Apparently, on the way to the Tour Hotel, we lost Antoine and his friends. We called him up and said that his girlfriend didnt want to go to ShiQi. He was just gonna stay here. Ok. Have fun. Happy New Year!
We then headed up to the Ballroom Dance party. This was very interesting.
Peter was very intoxicated which led him to be very...how do you say it nicely, um...oblivous to the polite factor you would use towards Chinese people at a classy gathering. He strutted across the empty dance floor while some attendants were taping the floor so the boards don't shift while people dance (more on this later) carrying Orange Juice and Vodka in plastic bags and wearing (in-doors - very rude) his Porsche baseball cape sideways. I don't know...if Chinese people were of the common misconception (which they are) of international stereotypes, then Peter would have seemed...."American." I feel dirty saying that.
So onto the dance floor. The quality of construction just isn't the best. I mean, it looks like a gorgeous floor, but the panels of the wood that make it up are just laid down and not attached to anything. So, I am sure that when it is first built, it is a snug fit and things work great. But after much use, the boards begin to slide just a bit and this builds up over time and with more boards as well. I noticed this at the gym as well. While doing martial arts, the boards would slip. Hence, why they wer laying down super long strips of packing tape to hold the boards together. Why don't you just build it correct in the first place. Aiya.
As for the dancing, after we showed up and sat down, people started to get up to dance. I was able to video tape it. It was funny. And its true. When a song ends, the entire dance floor evacuates. It was amazing. No one stood around. So, after about 10 minutes of this, we were all like, "LETS GO!" So we got the gang together and took off. Peter was one of the first to get an elevator when we were stopped by a chinese organizer. He was begging Jolleen to get us to stay because they were having a performance. Cause, in actuallity, a bunch of white people showing up to a chinese televised dance party and then leaving 5 minutes later isn't very good to the viewer, the organizers and promoters would lose a lot of face. Lots of things are done just to save face in this country.
After about 3 minutes of trying to decide, John and I finally decided, yeah, lets be polite, and we had to get Peter off the elevator. He was shouting.. WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?!
-We have to be polite and help them save face. (said in a "well, if i have to" type of tone)
SCREW THAT! LETS GO DRINK! AAAAHHH!!
-No, we have to go in.
So, we got Peter in there. Now, I thought when they said performance, they would have a couple people do one dance. There fore, it was about 10pm, and we had enuff time to watch it. 1 hour would be enuff time to get to Shiqi, but we didnt want to push it, so if we left at 1030, we would get there between 1115 and 1130. Boy was I wrong about the time length of the performance. I videotaped it all but the last dance which I am glad I did, cause the last one just had the makings of wretchedness.
They had two couples. Somehow, Xiaolan got the Chinese champion of Latin Dance to put on a show. Go figure. I guess its not that hard. So, he and his partner came out and did some salsa and stuff. He was dressed in black and she was all whored up (like salsa dancers do). Her makeup job was one of the most freaky things i have seen anyone do. After they were done, I thought it was done. But no. There was another couple who were doing waltz and fancy dancing. The two couples kept taking turns and doing stuff. UGH! I mean the technique was good and all that, but they were doing these really good dances to horrible music that you should never dance to. I mean, the styles of dance didn't fit the music. And also, for some reason, seeing Chinese people do salsa and latin dances which are more "sexually" energized styled dances, to me, it just doesn't work. Its like they are missing something when they are dancing the thing. To me it seems they are lacking the spirit, but thats my issue with most dancers that I see competing and junk. They work so hardcore special moves which are kool and work on the stuff and set it in forms, but doing so, they lose the spontaneousness and they lose what dancing is for ... flat out having fun! The best dancers I have ever seen were goofying around and not being serious or trying to win a medal or put on a show.
So they kept on dancing. During one of the songs, the music was really loud and Peter was speaking at a level so that Amy could hear him and the music died right when he said, "AMY!" . John and I immediately looked at him and threw him a hint.
Looking at my watch. CRAP! 1030! We gots to jet! So, We grabbed all those that wanted to go between a break in songs and we booked out of there. Then of course, Peter left his drinks at the table. So we sent Owen in to get them. We did not want Peter going back in there and embarrassing himself and us. So during that time we Sean and Susannah said they weren't gonna go. "ShiQi is not gonna happen." We will make it happen. So we said our goodbyes, well, at least everyone else did. I didnt. Now, there was just 8 of us left to go. As we waited for Owen, I was like, "How did we lose Peter?! DAMNIT!" Ash goes, "Oh, he's green in the bathroom." What? Its 1030pm and he is already throwing up. Jeez! He came out. "Phil, you were right. I did have too much." Duh. Owen got back and we hoped the elevator down stairs. Got outside and THERE WERE NO TAXIS! There are always taxis here. All the time. But not now when we needed them. Its "Murphy's Law". So we stood around and Owen called the cab company and then Ash ran off to find one. So we were standing around for awhile. Peter started going up to random cars thinking he knew how to speak Mandarin and asking folks if they would drive us to ShiQi.
And when, after about 15 minutes, a cab showed up. He was getting in an arguement with the driver over the price of a cab. We wanted to get a 40 and most 50 RMB cab. But being New Year's Eve, that wouldn't happen. The guy wanted 70. And Peter was yelling really loud pissing off the driver and us. The guy came down to 60, but Peter didnt want that. Kept asking for 55. What is 5RMB when you need to get there. So another showed up and he would do 55 but the other guy, who was visibly irritated with us took some chinese folks and left. Jerk. Then we noticed Ash was still gone. Damnit. Peter called him up and told him to come back, we found one and another was soon behind. So, one of us made a decision and we threw me, Yumi, John, and Owen in our cab and headed out. It was 11pm by this. That left Peter, Jolleen, Emily, and Ash to find a cab. Why Jolleen didnt want to go with her boyfriend to the party and instead stay with Emily, is a whole chinese problem. So we headed out. And apparently the other guys got a cab about 5 minutes later.
That is strange because when we enter the innercity limits of Shiqi, we pulled up next to them at the stop light. Hmmm...strange. When I knew we were 4 minutes from FuHua Hotel (the bus stop - Friends Bar is right around the corner) I had John call Jolleen to find them. They said they were close as well. As we came up on a taxi at the red light. The back passanger door was opening. I said, "Oh, there's Peter vomiting out the back door." We all laughed. We were making good time, it was only 1135pm. Sweet. Somehow this other cab must have taken a shortcut and was speeding big time. We pulled up next to them and said stuff. We pulled up to the hotel and get to Friend's Bar.
When we walked in, I was never happier to hear U2 in a bar. The place was packed with white people, I was staring at white folks for a bit. But we found some of the ShiQi Bond staff we figured would be there. They were in a corner of the area. There were no open seats initially, but after about 10 minutes and 10 minutes before the ball drop, i spoted a recently vacated table that had room for 6 people in between a couple Bond tables. Peter sat at the table with Richard and pretty much veged out from being drunk and sick. We ordered a bucket and the 7 of us sat around the table. We were all coming and going though. We would get up and meet with other staff members. We were singing songs and we did the countdown. It was alot of fun.
There was no dance floor, so I just started dancing in between tables. Then somebody played "The Time Warp" and I was the only one doing it. John got some video of me doing it at the last part thankfully. I swear, it was hilarious!!! I laughed so hard. Richard stood there with his mouth a gapping. "YOU NEED TO BE ON THE TABLES!" Everyone around was cracking up. It was great.
After that I got into a semi-Cantonese conversation with some guys at the next table who constantly kept wanting to do cheers with us. Throughout the whole nite I was going around and toasting others and others would come around our way and do the same.
Someone passed around a donation bucket for the tsunami disaster. The bucket would be given to the HK Red Cross. I put in about 300RMB. Not much, but enough that I would have enuff to get home and for some fries. I finally had some real french fries. To bad they needed salt. Peter then called it quits at 1am. He headed back with Owen. The rest of us stayed to 230am.
Some random girl walked by John and gave him a kiss on the cheek while he was sitting down. Jolleen got so upset with John. We then went out to the get a taxi and piled everyone in and headed back. John kept telling Jolleen, "You know, when we started dating, you knew I was attractive, you brought your anger on yourself. " Of course he was just joking and he saying other things that were more hilarious and I was like, dude, you bring your fights on yourself. He was like no, these don't cause the fights , its the culture class and the girl issues.
So, I got home and crashed. It was a fantastic nite.
It will be on the next DVD. Happy New Year everyone!

Posted by Phil at 03:55 PM | Permalink

I spent most of the day laying in bed. Ugh. I hate food poisoning. I had to give my concert ticket to Peter so he could see the show. He gave his ticket to Amy so that she could go with Moses. He video taped it. So thats good.

Posted by Phil at 04:16 PM | Permalink

Today is a very sunny day, however, it is chilly. First period went well. I have pretty much gone thru all the lessons in the book, so Lily told me to go through the word lists in the back of the book for review. Great...this is gonna be terribly boring. It turned out that it wasn't that bad. Strange. My second class went well. I headed out for lunch at a place I have eat many times before. After eating I headed home. Throughout the next couple hours I felt kinda gassy and noticed something was wrong. By the time I got back to class I noticed even more that something...was awry. I had to head home inbetween classes to do God's work.
I must tell you that the 6th grade kids today were terrible and I yelled at them. I think some of my anger from the fact that I realized I had foodpoisoning was misdirected at them. But they are in 6th grade and their english, I know is far better than all the other classes but they would answer any of the simple questions or participate. I was getting livid.
So, by the time I got to the second class, I was noticing I was a bit woozy and there were times I needed to stop and get my bearings. In this class, they weren't as bad, but I was getting more and more frustrated. Kids were doing homework from other classes, they were writing notes and doing what not. Also, another reason why they were acting like this is the fact that May was not in the classroom. She was busy wasting time on the interenet in the teacher's office. About 10 minutes before the class was over, I had enough. I just left. And went down to the office and told May about what was happening. She grabbed some stuff and went up there. Maybe if you did your job, I wouldn't be doing this. Thanks for nothing. I then left school to meet up with Owen before Kindergarten to tell him that I got food poisoning.
So, I sat down and waited for him at the No. 3 Kindergarten. The little kids that were passing by were unable to cheer me up that much either. I hoped they would and I tried to be in a positive mood, but my body wouldn't allow it. I told Owen what had happened and he got worried. I asked if there was a way to cancel class. He said, "Sure". He then convinced me to go to the Hospital. I didn't want to go because I knew that they would prolly just give me some placebos. I have had this before once back home, the only way to get through it is to let it run its course. Plus, I was sure the hospital would overcharge on medication and the visit.
There is another reason I wanted to stay away from the hospital. I have heard bad things about them. They try to milk you for as much money as possible and misdiagnose things. For example, Susannah has had a kidney infection for almost a month now and they either haven't given her enough medicine or the right medicine. I am sure that this would be cured in at least a week back home. Another example, One of the older foreign teachers in ShiQi went to the doctor because he was having stomach pains. They diagnosed it as stomach cancer. So, on top of the physical pain, there are huge emotional pains that come when someone finds out they have cancer. So, he flew home to get surgery and undergo treatment in Canada. When he went to the doctors..."Oh, its just a stomach virus. Here are some meds." It cleared up 10 days later. Why he came back is beyond me. I woulda given China the middle finger at that point.
And its not just to white people this happens too. The chinese get ripped off too. My friend Ben's father in law has what most likely is emotional stress (to a number of reasons that only China can pull) and his heart is giving him trouble. He saw 3 doctors, 2 said he was fine, the 3rd has him in the hospital and running tons of tests and keeps changing the diagnosis. They want the money. And this is one of the #1 hospitals in Guangzhou.
On the way to the hospital, I stopped by a wall and threw up. There was a lot. Of course, immediately I felt better because I just kicked out alot of poison. But I still went. And by the time I left I was feeling a bit better but I could definitely see the pain coming back. We went to the Internal Medicine area where I was diagnosed and the doctor said the good news was that it wasn't food poisoning. Ok. So what was it. I ate some food and then 2 hours later I was sick. Sounds like food poisoning to me. She used Owen as the interpreter. She told Owen and Owen said, "Good news. Its not food poisoning. The Eusophagus and the stomach are not connected properly". Riiiiiight...I never heard of that condition. I don't know what is worse: Misconnection between the eusophogus (or whatever that tube is) and the stomach or food poisoning. I would think food poisoning is the lesser evil. So I believe still that it is food poisoning. But I couldn't help but laugh when Owen asked me, "How is your shit?" completely serious. I couldn't help but giggle. No, the medical/technical way would to say that would be, "How are your bowel movements." So, I instructed him of that later. "Shit" is a curse word not used during medical practice. This made Owen blush and giggle.
So, this is what they were gonna give me: An injection, and 3 sets of pills. I thought it was overkill. I never thought an injection would be used for this. So, we went to the receptionist who we pay. Only 33RMB. That is pretty reasonable. Not expensive at all. Has to be placebos. We then went to the pharmacy desk to pick up the meds. While I sat there waiting, there was this terrible music video of Chinese boys and girls trying to act like white people acting like black people. "Owen? What is this crap? Its gonna make me even sicker! Why are they playing it?" He laughed.
Then from there we headed over to the "Injection Room". We grabbed a nurse, and she knew a bit of english. But not alot, because it sounded like she knew just enuff to repeat constantly. So, I rolled up my sleeve and got my arm ready to take the shot. She looked at me, shook her head and said, "No no..." And pointed to my butt. "WHAT! You are gonna put a shot in my butt? I haven't had one of these since I was a kid." So, I tried to figure out how much of ass I needed to expose. I could tell she was liking this. So, I prepared and she stuck me. "OOOOW! That friggin hurts!" I could feel the needle penetrate and tear through my skin. OW! She pulled out and apologized. It hurt but it was like this sharp pain that lasted for about 5 seconds. It was wierd.
After that, Owen and I headed back to the Big House so I could pay him back the money he fronted since I didn't have 33 RMB. I took the pills. 4 every 4 hours, 2 every 4 hours, and 2 every 4 hours. Great.
So, I went to bed to rest and let the medication work on the poison. Of course, every 20 minutes or 30 minutes I needed to get up and do God's work. My tummy still aches and I haven't eaten anything for dinner. I don't want to throw it up again. I had a bunch of water and that just goes right thru my system.
Right now I just took the second dose. Hopefully this starts helping more. Then Lynn called. I am sitting at the computer cause I am not tired enuff to go back to bed. She wants to know if she needed to cancel my classes. I told Amy to tell her to cancel them and then if I feel better tomorrow morning, I will go to them. If not, they will be cancelled.
My next dose needs to be taken at about 2AM. I will let you know how I feel tomorrrow. Hopefully much better. Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 09:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Its about 11 degrees celsius, which isn't too cold compared to back home, but its a bit chilly. Also, when its hot for 10 months out of the year and you get used to that. When it drops this low, it feels cold.
Lets see what to talk about...
Oh, chinese retail shops.
So I asked Amy awhile ago why she doesnt get a job in Xiaolan to get more money for her and Moses. She just stays around and cooks for Moses. Watches TV and what not. Moses is teaching during the day, Moses is 65. Amy is 25. "Why don't you get a job around here?"
Apparently she said she didn't want to in Xiaolan because people here have wierd scheduals. They work all day long, but they don't do anything. They are stuck in the little shop with nothing but a TV. They look all zoned out.
So, what's better: Spend 12 hours in a little shop with a little TV standing around with nothing to do totally zombiefied because no Chinese people buy things and make some few RMB out of it? Or not get a job, not get paid, and cook for your fiance and be able to go wherever anytime you want... And then have bible study classes given to you by your fiance.
YOU TELL ME!
I applied to a bunch of jobs online. There were a few I was really interested in. Ones that I would really like. Hopefully the people recognize the skills that I have. Suckas.
Ooh, right before I headed to bed I got a reply to one of the jobs that I was really interested in. It was a place called Bebe Sport Education Center. They teach english but do it with music, gymnastics, and dance. They are located in Shanghai and Beijing and it seemed really interesting. So i pulled all the stops with the coverletter and resume. Highlighted all my dancing, music, and martial arts education and how I use some of it with my kids now. THey sent me a reply right before I went to bed that said, "Please let us know how soon you can move to Shanghai." SWEET! now, I just need to get more information on it. That would be super sweet. And the posting claimed that the pay was really good. I will keep you updated on that.
Also, Peter completed his first DVD. He was impressed with all the ones I made and thought it was a kool thing so the past month he has spent learning thru trial and error (since its the only way to learn DVD editing, because nothing is ever as easy as they claim) He finally made his firts DVD. He spent lots of time on it. It was a piano recital of one of his private lesson students. He was trying to edit out playing mistakes n such and re-syncing all the video which is an uber pain.

Posted by Phil at 04:01 PM | Permalink

Spent most of the day trying to get healthy again. Should be fine by tomorrow. I also updated my journal entries and posted a bunch of fotos. In addition to that I spent time looking for another job in China for when this contract runs out at the end of February. March is the start of the new term, so, its almost good timing. I am looking for places in Chengdu, Shanghai, Beijing, and Foshan. So far I have only found places in the first 3. I am also open to other places, depending on many factors.
I felt much better around 5pm. I went to dinner with some friends at Jiaotsi Guan (dumpling house). Really good dumplings. The service is terrible though. Very terrible. Most chinese customer service is lacking in many things. While I was eating I had a nice surprise. Daisy popped up behind me and she was giggling. Her, her mother, and grandmother had showed up for dinner. I offered for them to join us, but they declined. Daisy kept coming and going throughout our meal because theirs took so long to show up. She would show up, say something, then take off again. She began to start climbing on my chair and saying stuff too me. Apparently, seeing me made her excited. She was trying to feel my cheeks because of my scruff. She sang me a song as well. The flower song. It was in Chinese, but it was still cute. I made her say hello to the people I was with. Every few minutes her mom and grandma would call her over. It was funny.
I then went home and sent out my resume to some other places. Time for bed.

Posted by Phil at 09:39 AM | Permalink

I had sunday morning classes in Guzhen. Classes were great as usual. The kids were enjoying it and stuff. The recess was great because they were throwing this monkey around...a stuffed monkey that is. I started throwing it with them. We were playing 5000, that game were you call out a number and the person who catches it gets the points. Whoever gets to 5000 first wins. The monkey then got stuck in a tree. A kid got it out by shaking the tree...since the tree was small. But then the monkey got stuck in the big palm tree which took us about 5 minutes to retrieve it. All the kids were trying to throw a ball to hit it. I never saw so many kids get joy out of trying to knock a monkey out of a tree. Chinese kids are different than american kids. When was the last time you say American kids trying to knock a monkey out of a tree and having that much fun...outside of the Detroit Zoo I mean.
Suzannah was MIA today. Her, Sean, and Leiana never made it to the party, so I imagine she is still sick. She still has that kidney issue going on. So, Mountain asked Toby to take another class, he said sure. That meant when i was done I could either wait for an hour to get a taxi home with them or take a motor bike or bus. So, I decided by bus. But as I walked to the main street, there were no buses. So I sat for about 5 minutes waiting until a motorbike showed up. It was a long motorbike ride and riding thru this area and traffic filled my lungs with wretchedness. The one downside to motorbikes, you get the pollution of traffic more than when you are confined in a car.
The guy took me to the Big Bus Station, so I had to get another motorbike back home. I finally got home and helped clean up. I then had class agian at 3pm.
Violet attended this class as well. So there were Peter, Jack, Daisy, and Violet. The class went well. I made an obstacle course used to help them practice LEFT, RIGHT, FORWARD, BACKWARD with. I made them close their eyes and I would shout out commands. It was good. Violet was to afraid to do it though. It was a good class.
Afterward, I hit up KFC for the hell of it. It was crowded. There were a couple of my 6th grade students there who acknowledge my presence, but wouldn't talk to me or allow me to sit with them. Thats it, you guys are getting bad marks from me. I was sitting by myself again. There was this 5 year old boy staring at me with his "Dead to the World" Chinese eyes. He looked like a zombie. I want to eat your brain. Then an 8 year old girl, who was bigger than the 2 6th graders stopped by and talked to me for a few minutes. I was impressed. I then headed home where I felt the worst of the day. I took some medicine and hit the sack at 9pm after I uploaded a bunch of fotos. Good nite.

Posted by Phil at 04:43 PM | Permalink

http://charrey.net/gallery/v/phil/album30
So, Coco woke me up with a phone call saying, "We are meeting for lunch in 30 minutes. Oh...Merrry Christmas." Sweet. DIM SUM for Christmas breakfast at the Flower Hotel. Well, when I got there, it wasn't Dim Sum, they took me to the western resturant upstairs....BUT I WANT DIM SUM! Oh well. We had a wonderful lunch. They all saw the TV show from last nite and said they were very impressed and they enjoyed it. They said I was very funny. I asked what the whole thing was about and they told me it was to introduce the teacher, his family, and the school to everyone and give them some publicity. I was also there to provide face and make them all that much cooler. "Look, we are teaching a white guy. Thats how good we are." The chinese eat so much. Its amazin how small they are. I wanted to punch them all. If I ate like this, I would look like the real Santa Claus. So much food. I was stuffed and I only ate half of what they had. Such a shame. After dinner I came back and fell asleep in a food coma. I got up later to prepare for the Christmas party.
The party was good. Lots of people lots of fun lots of dancing. Daisy showed up with her mom so I had to entertain her for about an hour or so until she became relaxed around all the people and some of the other children showed up. I had bought these little hand puppets that squeek and spit out its long tongue when you squeeze them for the kids. I tried to tell Daisy when she showed up, "There is something under the tree for you." But she couldn't understand and her mom's translation didn't cause her to get excited to go explore. So, i took her over, showed her the hand puppet and nothing. Bummer. Then I went to look for osmething for someone, when I got back, Peter and started playing with her with the hand puppets. Daisy was into it, so I took over and she started having a good time.
I gave her a present I got her, some VCDs of Mickey Mouse. She was happy about it. By this time, other kids showed up, but the kids still haven't bonded yet. I had popped in Aqua Teen Hunger Forces' "Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future" episode into the DVD player for obvious reasons. There was no sound, but the kids were zombified by it. afterward I popped in Mickey Mouse, they loved it. After a couple episodes, they all warmed up to each other and proceeded to rock out the pool table with throwing balls onto the table and whipping them back and forth. Daisy would sneak up behind me an slap my butt. AIYA! so i would chase her. Violet (the girl from the Halloween party) warmed up to Daisy and they were having a blast.
Antwoine showed up. It is his birthday tomorrow so he was celebrating tonite. He was here for about 1.5 hours and then took off to meet some people. He was happy he was there. He said congrats, he saw me on TV this morning. He was getting a massage and he looked up and there I was on TV. He laughed and told the people he was with, "I know that guy!". He said it was good.
Other people were having a good time. Unfortunately, Clyde stood us up and never showed so we had no Santa Claus. I had the suit all ready for him. But to no avail. It was a good time. Lots of fun had by all and Tony was no where in site. SWEET! Coco showed up, she was the only one from my school to. They aren't very fun. My school teachers are mean, they don't like to support our parties. Anywho, Coco showed up and had fun. She brought me some gifts. Something from her and something from the head master. Some gung fu VCDs and a book of Chinese World Heritage sites. It was kool. Along with a tourist map of Foshan. I need to go now in January.
We opened up presents that were all under the tree. John had gotten a bunch of things for Jolleen, but he hid those in my room and put a used mop in place under the tree and labeled it: To Jolleen. It was really funny when she saw it. She got all angry. We had a good laugh at her expense. The gift was entitled, "Mom, you have raised an asshole." He giggled for awhile. However, that mop was able to clean up a huge punch spill from earlier. Its quality.
I gave out all the DVDs I made for the other teachers. Clyde wasn't there so I couldn't give him his gift. I received more than I expected. I got a remote control car from my Secret Santa, it was Mark Lee. That thing is fun. I haven't had one of these in years. I also got some Bei-Jiu bottles that were wrapped up in this decorative wrap with Chinese characters on it. Sweet. I took them out of the box, and at this point I didnt' know it was Bei-Jiu, then I asked Mountain, what does this say? "AAAH! [he grabbed the bottle and threw it on the ground] It's a bomb!!!" People in our vacinity, stopped and stared at him with a "Huh?", he sat there giggling. "Yes, its Bei-jiu." I have yet to find out who gave me the Bei-Jiu. There was nothing written on it. Amy and Moses got me a picture frame. Nice. I had also given Peter something nice for all his help in the past.
The party started to die down and all the chinese left. We sat around for a bit just chatting. Peter opened up Clyde's card that came with Mark Lee, and no woman was allowed to see it. It was too grotesque but hilarious. I laughed hard for a good 15 minutes. I then went to bed.

Posted by Phil at 04:42 PM | Permalink

Nothing bad. Don't worry. Whats funny about it was that I was wearing my Santa Claus outfit as I was riding the bike. I was coming up the back way in the alleys. I rode up an incline and then I had to pull a sharp turn and I was going to fast, I flipped the bike, while wearing a Santa Claus costume. And then a woman with a baby strapped to her back (but completely under a pink blanket) on a scooter drove by. She stopped. Looked at me, said something, smiled, and took off. Just that image of a flipped over bicycle and a guy in a Santa Claus outfit getting off the ground is pretty darn funny. Add to the fact that it was in China and a white guy in a Santa Suit is very rarely seen, you have great humour. Its prolly never gonna happen to another person as long as they live.
Then as I rode to class, I passed a kindergarten. All the children were outside, linning up, ready to go into class. They all saw me, eyes widened, jaws dropped, and they started jumping up and down and screaming. So I waved to them. They were going nuts and the teachers there had big ol' smiles on their faces. I was really surprised at the reaction from the kids. I wonder how this is how its gonna be throughout the day.
As I rode to school, I realized something. Being a white guy in China, people stare at you. But then, the place gets used to you. However, when that white guy throws on a Santa Claus outfit, those stares are 100 fold. I mean, people were looking at me like they usually do, but with more intent/hatred. It was very interesting how many eyes I felt on me. More than I have felt since I have been here. However, it didn't feel as irritating as usual since I had a reason for getting stared at.
I got to school and the reaction I got was totally not one I expected. The kids were going nuts. In between classes, kids were coming to the office just to see me in the outfit. When I would walk into a classroom, the kids would all jump out of their chairs and freak out. I came into school during Morning Exercises so none of the teachers really saw me. But some of the kids did. When execises finished all the teachers came back to the office where they all saw me. They got all excited as well. "You look so Beautiful!" Um...thanks? I guess. "So handsome." Apparently the chinese like red. As I walked the halls, kids would be staring out of the classrooms to look at me. Wow. I didnt expect to disrupt classes.
During a couple classes, I continued with my usual lessons. But I added some Christmas cheer with talking about Santa Claus for a few moments. I also got the 3rd and 4th graders to sing Christmas songs. I had them sing "Jingle Bells" and "Deck the Halls". And yes, it was like in "A Christmas Story", when the family is having dinner in the chinese resturant and the chinese waitstaff is trying to sing Deck the Halls..."Deck the harls with barls of Holry...Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra!" To say the least, the kids liked my outfit. I think the headmasters were pleased with me as well. They seemed unusually warm.
During lunch time, as I was preparing to go out, the kids were all hanging around where my bike was kept and they were all looking at me and trying to steal my hat. It was like a big crowd. I couldn't move.
I went to McDonald's. There were a couple kids in there that got excited. Almost as much as the people that worked at McDonald's. They were playing some really interesting music. It was a medley of a bunch of church songs. But it was really creepy because it was done with chinese lack of emotion and it was playing in McDonald's. If you think white people ruin black music, you would be horrified to hear what chinese people do to black and white music. Its absolutely horrendous. The songs that I heard were "Swing Low Sweet Chariot, Oh When the Saints Go Marching In, etc". It was weird. After that I rode home to finish some wrapping of gifts.
Things hadn't really changed when I got back to school. Sammy had bought me 2 bottles of wine and placed them on my chair. How sweet of her. The really amazing thing happened though when I went to the 1st and 2nd grader part of the school. There are two buildings, one is for 1-3rd grade and the bigger one I am at all the time is for 3rd-6th graders. As I walked to the other building and got closer, All the 1st and 2nd graders started to pile up at the doors and stare at me and wave wildly. I waved back. I climbed the stairs and got to my 3rd grade class and all the kids were surprised to see me. I did the lesson and taught some Christmas songs. They enjoyed themselves.
As I left the building heading to my bike so I could go prepare for Kindergarten, all the 2nd graders were having recess and they started to come up to me and say hello. They kept coming up and multiplying it seemed like. I turned around and was awe-struck. There were 60-70 kids following me. It was like they grew exponentially...like when people turn into zombies, it just blows up. It spreads so quickly. I was amazed. I looked at a couple other chinese teachers they were laughing and pointing at all the kids. So, I decided to have some fun with them, I started to run, and all 70 kids started to run. I would stop and then run into the crowd and they would all do as well and then I would run out of the crowd carrying a kid or two. Then I would drop them and do it again. They were going crazy, jumping around and having fun. Its hard to describe the feeling you get from seeing that. I then finally made it to my bike by that time and it was worse then before, there was no room for me to leave. The kids wouldn't allow it. They were all just standing around and looking. Until Coco came to the rescue. She wanted to let me know that the English department would go out for lunch tomorrow afternoon and she wanted to know what I wanted as a gift and I said, you dont have to get me anything and she refused to hear that. So, I told her gung fu. You know what I like. :D So she smiled and said, mmmmYes. A book. thats what we will get.
Um...Coco, you aren't supposed to tell me. :D
I finally got out of the kids after Coco told some of them to back off. As I rode the bike out, some of the kids were chasing after me just like they did during lunch. It was a gas.
Kindergarten was really fun too. However, i noticed during the day that I was coming down with a slight cold. The weather was fairly warm the past 2 weeks then all of a sudden it got cold again. And of course I wasn't prepared for it. I wasn't in the mood to yell at the kindergarten kids and they were wild as usual. The 10 Kid Spaz Class loved my outfit. A couple kids fell on the ground laughing when I showed up. I wanted to kick them.
The children all at the school were watching me come in and go to class and leave and they were all happy to see me. Daisy stopped by at the end of my my class with her stuff reindeer that played music. She was all smiles. She told me, "Merry Christmas". Awwwww....so cute.
I then went with Owen to the Bond office where we were to wait for everyone to show at 6pm so we could go to the ShiQi office for a Christmas party. I walked into the office and John just laughed pretty hard when he saw me in the Santa outfit. Most of us were there at 6pm however, we didn't leave until 630pm because someone, being chinese, didn't count the number of poeple attending the party and prepare enuff transporation for all of us. There were 9 foreigners and 4 chinese people. After awhile, one of the chinese finally made a decision and sent us 9 foreigners in the van which holds 8 people, so it was a bit cramped. And of course, there was a traffic jam on the way there. So we finally arrived at 720pm. The party started at 6pm. so there was barely any food left. The chinese are so inefficient. Headquarters was packed with kids. They had people MC-ing which I took part in around 8pm. Lots of kids doing Karaoke. Very funny. There was this huge 5 foot tall cake that was going to be cut for later. I mean, there were lots of kids. Rumi got some fotos of me MC-ing that I will post.
At 738pm I was able to commandier a TV in the reception area. I made Alice find the Zhongshan TV Stations so I could watch the news show about he Lion/Dragon Dance troop that I was going ot be on. Sweet. So, it came on and bascially the news story was introducing the head coach and his family. It talked about how many awards they have won. And it seems that they are one of the better troops in the area. Then I got on TV after about 15 minutes. Wow, they cut out alot. I mean, my time was about 5 minutes, maybe a bit less, but they only left in one thing I said from all the questions and it was what I said about the USA being the fattest country in the world. Ugh. The power of editing. They didnt give me a chinese dub, they just had subtitles. They showed me doing a very short bit of form work with the teacher and some kicks and then showed me learning the Dragon Head and doing that.
I hope those people give me a copy. I would love to have it.
So, then, geeked out about it, I headed back to get some beverage, but I got sidetracked and MC-ed for about 15 minutes. Luckily about 99.9% of the people there didn't understand me when I was singing in my metal voice that "White people rule! We be teaching english to you! AIYA!" It was goofy. Apparently John was cracking up over that.
After that I was just hanging out. There was this little baldheaded boy, 5 years old, that was super cute and his english was quite good. He was following me around alot so I chatted with him. Some of the MC's downstairs were passing out candy from bags. So i motioned for one of them to throw me a bag, I was a floor up. He threw the bag to me so I could chuck candy down onto the kids and that little 5 year old helped me. Then after the cake was cut and the kids left at 9pm, all of the Bond staff posed for a picture. I had center front row because of the santa outfit. And of course, Julius jumped on my lap for the pose. This boy is John Zhang's kid. He is great, but he can get annoying when he hits alot. So, the picture looked great apparently. Too bad I don't have a copy yet.
Then all the Xiaolan folk decided to head back. So all 9 foreigners crammed back into the van. Then the Chinese crammed into it as well. Why didn't we do this coming down here? We would have saved 30 minutes. ugh. The trip back was funny because Toby decided to argue in his condescending way to Peter and John about how bad Bond is. Peter just was not putting with his crap and at one point blew his noisemaker for a span of about 10 seconds to get Toby to shut up. IT WAS HILARIOUS! Apparently Toby doesn't think Bond does anything wrong. He obviously doesn't believe in Professionalism, Being True to your Word, or Caring about your Employees. When John and Peter were trying to explain stuff, Toby kept interupting. Peter said, "I get angry with assholes like you who don't listen or pay attention." And then John tried saying something and kept getting interrupted and he said, "That's it, I'm done. Stop now." Then Toby started singing some terrible British song. He can't sing, but he loves to.
We finally got back to Xiaolan. Most everyone came over to the Big House. The chinese folk decided to go get some food. Which meant that Jolleen went with them. John was pissed because she wasn't gonna spend Christmas Eve with her boyfriend. And of course, Jolleen is clueless. So, we called up Antwoine and met up with him at this club.
This club was funny. I got a picture of it. First think I see when I walk in is a giant Winnie The Pooh stuffed animal on a stage with scantilly clad chinese girls dancing to terrible chinese music. I lauged super hard. Got a couple fotos. Very funny. We hung out there for a bit.
Then about 15 minutes before Christmas Day, one of the chinese fellas we met at the bar took us to another place at the Tour hotel in his SUV. It was my first experience driving with a chinese in his car outside of BOND. It was freaky. We got to the Tour hotel ok. We were taken up to this Karaoke pub area. There was like only 20 people there and the room was huge. There were some chinese people making horrible noises on the mic. It was wretched. I was also getting mad because all the chinese would introduce themselves to us, men and women, but would not even acknowledge the fact that Yumi was there with us. I wanted to smack them for being rude.
I was super tired so I left early. It was a long day and I wasn't feeling 100%. I went home and dreamt of sugar plums.

Posted by Phil at 08:22 AM | Permalink

1. My VISA re-imbursement was pumped from 900RMB to 2000 RMB. A little more than 2x. Its not alot but its better than nothing. sweet.

2. I got word that the news story about the Lion/Dragon Dance Troupe will air Friday nite at 738pm on Zhongshan TV. SWEET! I can't wait!

Posted by Phil at 12:36 PM | Permalink

School today was a pain. My primary school classes, 5th and 6th graders, were just getting on my nerves. I know they know and can understand this material, they just chose not to participate. I don't know how to make it easier to understand. And I can't do it for them. I wanted to send them all to the principal.
It was 10 Kid Spaz Class at Kindergarten again today.
After Kindergarten, John Zhang, the guy that lied to get me to come to BOND in Zhongshan is back from school in Vancouver for the holidaze, too take the Xiaolan staff to dinner. So, we went to this really good resturant, expensive apparenlty, it was part government funded. John gave us Tea sets as christmas presents. This will be good, i will send it home. He also brought up a package from my folks, CHRISTMAS STOLLEN!!!! YEAH! sooooo good.
I emailed John that morning about increasing my VISA re-imbursement and he didnt get to reply to me. I dont think he got it before dinner. He better give it to me.
Julius was at the dinner, John's son, and he was his normal self. Cute, but he likes to ruffhouse alot. I played with him a bit. Afterwards I headed home and prepared for class tomorrow. I can't wait to have stollen for breakfast!

Posted by Phil at 02:55 PM | Permalink

So today was the day the government came to stay...at our school. First off, I get to school waiting for my class to start. The bell never rings. I ask Anna, why hasn't the bell rung and why are there no morning exercises today? "Oh, they switched. Right now is the first class and they will do morning exercises second. Because the government is here. Did you have the first lesson? Oh, you did? Oh...well, yeah. So, you don't have first lesson."
Nice. Thanks for the heads up on that one. I could have slept in or done a bunch of other stuff. Instead, I am sitting here at the school wasting time. Ugh. Class sucked. The kids just wouldn't pay attention.
Went home for lunch and wrapped some stuff and put some ornaments up.
Class in the afternoon was no better than in the morning.
Kindergarten was canceled so that was good. I headed home and took care of some stuff.
I then headed out to Lion Dance practice. I got there, and figured out that practice tonite was canceled. Great. So I had to ride the bike all the way home. Not a big deal. I got back to the house and put the finishing touches on the tree. John and Jolleen showed up because they were in the area. Apparently Jolleen is stressed out about going to Guzhen to be the boss and she is taking it out on John. Oh well.
I am going to bed.

Posted by Phil at 09:05 AM | Permalink

Today was a good day. I got alot of christmas stuff done. I was working on the christmas tree. I put up a bunch of decorations. Getting some Christmas presents. We are doing Secret Santa with all the foreign teachers and the internet random number generator generated Clyde as my gift recipient. What would Clyde like? Well, since he has been living clean for years...opium is out of the question. The best thing I can think of is a gag gift followed up by a serious gift. I got the gag gift. I am also giving my Christmas DVD Present to all the foreign teachers that were here when it was made. As well, Daisy, the 4 year old genious is attending the party with her mom and prolly grandparents, so I picked her up a VCD set of Mickey Mouse. I asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she said, "Mickey Mouse" in this adorable shy way. Wrapped up some other presents and got these awesome Christmas cards. They are from Counter Strike, an online military strategy game that is huge in Eurpoe and Asia. Anyways, the cards have these cute disturbing cartoon images of guys in gas-masks and Rambo outfits throwing grenades and carrying rifles while they say, "Happy Holidays", "Best Wishes", and "Happy Day" on them. Wierd.
I tested out the "Snow in a can" that we bought to cover the tree in when it is complete. We want this tree to be the cheesiest looking thing ever. However, I think we will fail because some of the trees I have seen in the shops here...well, I don't know how we could beat those. Alot of the "upscale wannabe Western" chinese shops are putting out the Christmas decorations and wearing santa hats but the real chinese places aren't. My favourite Santa hat is the one with 5 red stars on the white furry part that light up sequentially. I never thought Santa to be a communist before I got here. But I guess its not a far cry, I mean, he does like red alot, and he is a patriarchial leader who exploits his workers (the elves) to do all his work for him and he just uses one night a year where he does this big publicity stunt. His face is plastered all over the place and he no longer has any association with religion. Hence, the "Save Christmas" movement I have heard about in America from John Irish. Take Christmas back from the heathens I hear. I will prolly have a Christmas lesson on Friday, Christmas Eve, and I am trying to decide how I will explain it to 4th and 3rd graders. Since there are three things you don't talk about in China: Religion, Sex, and the Government...I wonder how I explain Christmas. I have thought to just say that its a time to give and to love one another. However, I feel I would be doing it an injustice by not explaining where it came from...the birth of Jesus mixed with the pagan holiday of winter solstice or whatever.
Speaking of Jesus, there was this TV program on the english channel...well, its not the english channel, but it plays english programs in the evening. Anywho, there was this program entitled, "Pontius Pilate: The Man Who Killed Jesus". It was basically comparing historical fact to the writings of the Gospels and to the writings of Jewish historian Josephus. It was quite interesting. The show claims the Gospels shows Pilate as a weak leader - i don't think that is neccessarily very accurate - i think he is just shown as man torn between either condemning an innocent man or mob justice. But definitely historical fact and the writings of Josephus show him as a strong, cunning, Roman prefect. Very interesting. Maybe the Bible shouldn't be taken literally and it was written with a very tilted bias. Makes you question things. Which is good. "The truth shall set you free."
Enuff of that. Oh, Peter bought The Incredibles, that computer animated cartoon that recently came out. Very awesome. I watched it while wrapping presents n stuff. What else happened today...Oh, I got the most adorable e-card. Daisy, the little genious, and her mom sent me this e-card thanking me for inviting them to our Christmas party. Its so cute. That put me in a great mood for the rest of the nite. Oh well. I should prolly head off to bed. The government is coming to watch all the teachers tomorrow. I wont be viewed, but the others are all freaking out about it. Toodles.

Posted by Phil at 08:31 AM | Permalink

Taught today in Guzhen. It was good. Got the kids to play this game to help practice body parts. Introduced some new ones. Did pretty much the same lesson with Daisy and the two other students. I did get into an arguement with Toby over the dead chinese guy in the street. I mentioned something how i find it coldhearted how everyone ignored that fact. So Toby said, give him some money. That's compassionate. Sure, its compassionate, but it doesn't help at all because all it does is encourage him to beg and not get a job or anything. Its China...they have jobs. So Toby went off and called me a hypocrit. So we argued about this for awhile until class started. That guys has serious issues.
On the way home he told me that he realized yesterday why Tony is banned from the party. He was at the Xiaolan Bond office when Tony came in and was harrassing Salena. Apparently Toby got the hint of why no one likes Tony. And there is no way to fix him.
He then went on to complain about Christmas and how its a crock. John told me that he started bad mouthing Christians the other nite saying out of all the world religions, they are always the first to go against what they claim to believe. Shut your hole. Worshippers of all faiths have all done that. Christians weren't the first and nor will they be the last or the only ones doing it. Shut it, Toby. Shut it. John, Suzanna, and I think the reason he may be so arguementative is because of the culture shock. I know I was very irritable the first month or so I was here. Its possilbe thats the cause. But still, why does he get on the wrong side of the arguement. I accidently brought up "racism in America today" the other day and how I think its more media/minority manufactured than actual racsim. He started to get all upity, so I offered that we refrain from fighting about it till another time instead of ruining the night. Which I am sure he would have. ;-)
I bought a pretty kicking suit today. I got it for $36US. I was walking thru this market thats been going on for the past 12 days. They got lots of junk and useful things at decent prices. I found this suit. The reason I got it was because I have been looking for this type of suit for awhile, but can never find it. I saw it and the guy got me talking. He wanted twice that amount so I offered 1/3 of the price. He got at the final one and wouldn't come down. So, what the hell. Its pretty nice actually. I can see me getting use out of it.
Peter and I worked on his chinese scooter/sled. The chain keeps popping off the tire. We put it up on some blocks...really, just a stool...to check out the underside. The gear that the chain is on is bent and thats why it keeps popping off. Peter tried to bend it back, but it was the teeth that were bent so he ended up bending the plate more in the opposite direction. After about 15 minutes of us working on it, we were able to bend it in enough a way that wouldn't allow for it to pop off. That we know of yet. And we tightened the brake. The brake has been little or no help lately. It will work now though. for a bit.

Posted by Phil at 05:39 PM | Permalink

I am an american living in China, speaking guangdongwha to the taxi driver while wearing a japanese T-shirt and listening to german industrial music.
awesome.

Posted by Phil at 11:33 PM | Permalink

Well, today I went to Guangzhou - pronounced GWAN (like SWAN) + JOE. It was interesting to say the least. We walked alot. John and I met up at 820AM at the bus stop to catch the bus. John was actually two minutes late and we missed the 820AM bus, so we bought a ticket for the 850AM bus. We ran over to McDonald's and he got a to go breakfast. I was like, just grab some bau-tze off the street, at least that stuff is real food. So, while we were there, I bought an apple pie. The only thing I like at McDonalds. While I was waiting in line, there was this family that came in, and the two kids were all excited to be there. Since McDonalds snags you when you are young. The two kids were staring at me, so I smiled back to them. Then the younger one, prolly about 3 years old, stuck his tongue out at me and then they ran to the playscape. I started to crap up. I then gave him back a rasberry and the kids started doing it back and giggling. He then just kept doing it then the older sister started. It rocked. From there we headed back to the bus.
The bus took about 1.5-2 hours to get to the stop that we wanted. While we were waiting to meet up with Ben, John's friend who he met during his travels, we needed to use the toilet. So we went searching and came upon the coolest automated toilets I have ever been in. It cost 1RMB coin. You put it in the slot and the door slides open like in Star Trek. Only slower and without the "shh".
On the way back to the meeting place, we noticed a scuffle. Two chinese guys were throwing fists at each other. I wanted to yell out, "CHINESE FIGHT!" like the kids in South Park yelled out, "CRIPPLE FIGHT!" when Timmy and the new handicapped kid got into a fight. The two guys were shouting at each other in Guangdongwha. They weren't just talking normally loud like all cantonese people do, but they were yelliing. It lasted only a few seconds. Apparently they were fighting over cigarrettes. Seemed very childish. See what addiction causes?
We arrived at the meeting place and then Ben popped up outta the subway. "Sup, dawg!" He then pointed out to us the place where he saw his first dead man in China. Apparently a guy by the subway entrance in front of the Train Station (where we were), died of malnutrition/starvation from the apparent look of his body. This is how it went: Ben walked by the area around 2pm. He noticed a man lying in a peculiar position on the ground and a few people standing over him, he thought nothing of it because he sees it all the time - bums sleep on the street in the afternoon. He then came back by to that area around 6pm on his way home and the man was still lying there in the same position. He realized that the guy was dead. So he took a picture. Someone finally called the authorities, I dunno if it was Ben, he never mentioned an end to it.
You think someone would notice something like that here. A man dead on the street, but nope. Its the chinese mentallity. Only caring for yourself. Kings of the world, thats what each chinese believes they are. At least show some compasion and respect for the dead, don't let his body rot on the street. Let someone know. I wonder if Toby is gonna argue with me on this subject. Check my journal entry tomorrow to see if he did.
Ben is from northwest California he said. He lives about 1 hour from Reno, Nevada. He just got married on wednesday to his chinese girlfriend of 3 years. They will have a ceremony in the summer, but wanted to get the VISA work taken care of now. He told us of a couple funny stories from when he was in the Consulate registering for marriage - VISA stuff.
First was this wirery looking weasel of a man he said that was born in Vietnam, but was American, but very greasy and icky. Apparently this guy was trying to apply for a marriage liscenes or something for his fiance. The attendant was drilling him. "How long have you known her?" -One year. "How did you meet?" -Over the internet. "When did you finally meet her?" -Three weeks ago. "What??" -3 weeks ago. "You do know its illegal to marry someone just to get them an American VISA?" -Uh...uh..(hesitation) yeah. I do. "How can you be sure she isn't playing you?" (i am not sure on that last sentence. The whole point was that the attendant knew this guy was a scuzz and really wasn't in love or anything or that he was being played.)
Another guy showed up. 250-300 pounds. Bald. 60 years old. "Yeah. I am here because I want to marry my girlfriend. I met her in Guangdong. (think of how an old guy would pronounce it if he had never been to China or spent time with the language with a heavy nasal accented "a") His girlfriend is about 25 years old, gorgeous, and they only met a few weeks prior. He got grilled.
Ben goes up to the attendant. "How did you meet?" -Christmas party. "How long have you been dating?" -3 years. "Good, here you go." What a relief. Obviously, these attendants know how to spot the creeps and the people that are serious.
While he was explaining the stories, we took the subway to the marketplace area to check out all the stuff they got. Apparently its a pretty famous area. They got a section of it for animals being sold for pets, then on another block they have all the same animals but being sold for food. The ones being sold as pets were in much nicer setups than the ones for food. There were some adorable dogs, cats, turtles, salamanders, newts, redbellies, fish, snakes, rabbits, etc. etc. Tons of things. It was really kool. I got pestered to buy a chinese bible. I think thats what it was. Anywho. We walked around a bit.
Took the subway to meet up with Ben's wife, Shao-Hong...or Xiao-Hung...i dunno which.
We then walked around the most famous park in that city. It was nice. Walked up and down many stairs. There was a Musuem that we didnt visit. There was a Sun Yat Sen monument. Some scenic view of a stadium field underconstruction and some other nice shots. THere is a famous 5 Goat statue at the top part of the park. We checked that out.
We headed out to lunch in the marketplace after walking thru another market alley way. Very dirty. Guangzhou is a very dirty city. After lunch and discussion of intestinal malfunctions caused by viruses and diseases, we headed out to scale the biggest mountain in Guangzhou. It was nice. There was a bungie jumping set up there. I didnt do it, but I was tempted. No one has ever been hurt doing it there. Ben did it last time he was there and said it was really good. I just wish people that did bungie jumping would just put a giant air mattress beneath it. From there we headed to the top. On the way there were these steps that had pointy rocks sticking out in designs. You are supposed to walk on them without your shoes. At first it doesnt really hurt but after you are on them for about 30 seconds, it starts to hurt and its painful. Supposedly, its to massage the feet.
We got to the top and chatted. By this time it was nearing 530pm, so we walked back down. We eventually snagged a taxi cab and I got a bus ticket back to Xiaolan at 7pm. John is spending the nite there, I would, but I gots to teach tomorrow morning. I got my afternoon class with Daisy, I can't wait. That little girl is a genious. Well, goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 09:59 PM | Permalink

So far, my first three classes were great this morning. Coco is at her hometown because her mother-in-law fell ill. She has been out pretty much all week. I haven't seen her. I taught her classes on my own today. Usually when I teach on my own with no Chinese Regulators, the kids are almost unmanageable. However, today, I was able to keep their attention wtih the crummy material I was teaching. They were rowdy, but I was able to put to good use. That was good. I also had one 3rd grade class this morning along with Coco's two 4th grade classes. This class also went really well. A couple of the kids wanted to sing a song from the book. Apparently they liked it. They all got into it. It was very surprising and it was very awesome to be standing there and they all start busting out in song and enjoying it. They were loud and I am sure you could here it over a distance. I really enjoyed it.
Its lyrics were really simple... How old are you, Tony? (repeat 3x) I'm 9. 9,9,9,9,9,9,9, I'm 9.
Thats it, but it was the music and how they sang it. They really enjoyed it. I couldn't help but smile and Lucy, the teacher, was enjoying it as well. At least they were doing something they enjoyed and they were learning at the same time. Fun stuff. 3rd grade energy is the best.
Also, in my third class of the morning, which are 4th graders, the kids started telling me, "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!" I lauged a bit for a second. I guess Coco taught them to say this to me. I was like, no, next week, but they didn't understand. A bunch of kids gave me greeting cards. They are adorable. It was really awesome. I was laughing. For next Friday, which is Christmas Eve, I am gonna dress up as Santa Claus, i bought the suit in Hong Kong for Clyde, but he won't get to wear it until Saturday anywho. I am gonna pass out some candy. Its gonna be alot of candy for...lets see...
260 students. Damn.
During lunch I spent some time trying to do some christmas presents for folks around here. Just a couple. We are doing secret santa. I got Clyde, so I have to get something funny for him.
Teaching in the afternoon was really good too. My two 3rd grade classes were really enjoyable. The students were learning and having fun. I decided to try that song out with them as well. They loved it to. Man, I sang that song so much today, its stuck in my head.
Oh, I had an interesting punishment for one of the kids today. There was this kid in my 4th grade who was acting up. He was goofing around and got his friend to tie his wrists together with his red-commie scarf. So I brought him to the front of the class and tied his wrists up to the doorknob at the front of the room.

Posted by Phil at 12:59 PM | Permalink

Finally finished with all my required DVD projects. I sent out the last wedding DVD set this afternoon. Hopefully Jamie and Janna like it. Other than that, I just had class. Nothing really special happened today.

Posted by Phil at 07:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Shut your hole.
I swear, that guy does not know what arguements to take part in. He started to argue with Peter and I about the fact that Tony was banned from the Christmas party. Oh, yeah, how long have you been here? A month? You don't know Tony the way we do. I wish I had a recording of how he talks and what he decides to argue about so you could imagine just how frustrating it is to discuss things with him. We were trying to explain to him that Tony sexually harrassed a few women at the party and offended others, among them Peter and I, since he was upsetting our guests. Then Clyde chipped in and told him that at one party they had, Tony was smoking inside the house and Clyde told him to go out onto the porch because its unhealthy for the little kids that were in attendance, then Tony took a puff on the cancer stick and blew smoke into Clyde's face and then into a little girl's face. Clyde threw him out onto to the street.
Toby then scoffed and said, "Oh, well, I kinda find that hard to believe." SMACK! Shut up, Toby!

I walked into the Xiaolan Office to get paid. Owen said, "Hi" and asked me how I was. I responded. I say Lynn sitting there and I asked Owen, "Hey Owen, why did you call Peter yesterday and ask where I was? How come you didn't know that I was in Hong Kong?" This got a rise out of Lynn and thats exactly what I wanted. She failed in her job again to let Owen know that my classes were canceled on tuesday. There are really only 5 people in this office and that important piece of information never was given to anyone. I heard Lynn saying stuff in chinese under her breath.
I went to Salina and was getting my money, Owen asked me, "How was Hong Kong?"
I responded, "It was a pain in my ass." And then Toby said, "Well, who's fault is that?"
What the hell Toby. Don't start with me. So, I pointed at Lynn. He got all on the offensive and said, "Well, who needs the VISA?"
And I responded, "Hmm..well, I could have taken care of my VISA issue a few weeks ago and saved the trouble of Hong Kong if someone had done their job and given me the VISA info when they were supposed to." This shut Toby up for a bit. It also got another rise out of Lynn.
Then the rest of the gang showed up to get paid. Thats where we had to explain to Toby why Tony wasn't allowed at the party.
The rest of the day was fine. The 6th graders were problems as usual.
I went to Lion Dance practice. I spoke to a bunch of the kids in cantonese. I think its getting better. There was this one kid who was asking me to teach him Taiji. I am like, wait a second. You are chinese. I am a gweilo. You want ME to teach you taiji? Are you nuts?
The head coach showed up and he showed me some new stuff to work on. It was good. And he showed me some things that needed fine tuning. It was good.
When I first showed up at practice though, I was one of the only ones there. There were about 3 two other as the door. I noticed the double doors that are usually closed in the corner were open and the light was on. So, I decided to check it out, I walk by and there were about 5 of the members of the troop that wear the lion pants all the time. They were sitting on their bunkbeds. They motioned me to come in. One of the kids is the one who has been showing me the lion head dance and the pick-up moves for the tail. He looks like a Victor, so I am going to start calling him Victor. Anywho, Victor motioned for me to come in and I got across the question, "Do you live here?" And they all shook their heads. Wow. They lived at the gym where they practice lion dancing. Victor is only about 15 years old and the others are around that age. I was really surprised to see that they lived at the gym. About 8 kids in a room 2x-3x bigger than my dorm room in college. I showed up and there was a kid playing an oldschool Nintendo on his 7inch black and white TV screen. I just found it odd that these guys would live here where they practice. I know thats how they used to do it. Students would come and stay at the school and live there, but I never really had seen that, and it was odd finally seeing it. Pretty interesting. I wonder where their families are from.
I then drove Peter's scooter home. Standing up on that thing when you drive is a blast!

Posted by Phil at 01:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The driver of the bus coming back from the Zhongshan ferry port to Xiaolan would not lay off the horn. He kept on honking whenever he approached someone. I know they don't need to the horn, they know you're coming. How do I know that? Well, if they don't hear the wave vibrations of a vey un-aerodynamic design, they can hear the loud squeeks of crappy construction coming from inside the car down the road. I am sure it sounds like a pack of rabbid groundhogs. I am just waiting to pass up Matt Rose who will proceed to yell uncontrollably at us.
I was coming back from the Ferry port in Zhongshan because I headed to Hong Kong today to get a new Two Month "L" -VISA. I hopped a ferry boat this morning at 10AM which meant I had to be on the bus to the ferry port at 820AM. I got to Hong Kong around 1130AM and I got to the VISA office around 12PM. Since I got the VISA in before 1230pm, I can pick it up again at 630pm and head back.
So, I had many hours to kill in Hong Kong.
First thing was to take a break and figure out what I wanted to do and see. I sat down in the concrete park behind the Mandarin Plaze, looking at the big fountain. There I sat flipping thru "The Sailors Guide to Hong Kong". Hmmm...Man Mo Temple looks pretty kool. Apparently its an old fashioned temple (buddhist) in the middle of the Central business district. That would be an interesting contrast. What else? Oh, need to run to the Apple Store and get DVD Studio Pro 3. I need to get some money to pay for the VISA and I only have about $30HK. So, I head back to the ferry terminal because the Apple Store is at the most southern part of the ferry terminal. I get there and they don't have it. PHOOEY! Then the store rep was like, I will call the Central store. Blah blah blah cantonese blah blah blah cantonese. Yup, they got it down at the Central store. Do you want them to hold it and go pick it up or do you want them to run it up here?
Oh, no, I will go pick it up. I got time to spare anywho. Where is it on the map? Oh, its just a couple blocks from Man Mo temple. Thanks. Later.
So, I head off to the subway. I grabbed a train to central and for some stupid reason, I wasn't paying attention, and I got off at the wrong subway stop. Retard. I was only one stop away so i thought I would walk it. HA HA HA HA HA! Not in Central Hong Kong. I got about a block before I ran into the concrete web of roads/highways. Yeah...I don't want to get lost. This map blows too by the way.
So I head back down to the subway, get some cash outta the ATM and hop on the subway to the correct stop.
Finally get there and hit up the Apple Store. Pretty cool stuff I see they got. Some new things. So I purchase the software and they said it was ok to leave there so I didn't have to lug it everywhere. It was about 2pm or so by that time. So, I left and headed out to find Man Mo Temple. On the way there I noticed alot of junk...I mean antique shops. Lots of Buddhist and Indian stuff. I figured I would check it out on the way back from Man Mo temple. I got to Man Mo temple. It looked interesting being a one story oldfashion temple in between two high rises. I mulled around for about 30 minutes, got some fotos, and headed back.
I stopped by a couple junk...I mean antique shops and looked around. Looking for gifts. Too bad they are all expensive. I found one that I think had maybe an authentic Katana, but it was just old and rusty. It was obviously not stainless steel. Who knows. I stopped by this one shop that was a much classier junk...antique shop. The owner was real nice and I chatted with him for a bit. His english was good. I first started talking to him in a bit of Cantonese, much like I did the cab driver earlier in the day, he took me from the ferry boat to the visa office.
As I chatted with this owner fella, I took his card because I know my folks like this kinda stuff, so I will let them know about it. (you hear...read that mom and dad!? Thinking of you! :-) ) As I talked to him I noticed a picture of him with who I thought was Goldie Hawn. "Um...is that, who I think it is?"
"Yes Yes Yes! [he was very proud] That's Goldie Hawn! [I looked surprised because I wasn't expecting them to find this small place...for all I know, its famous] She was wonderful. So warm, so nice. A great personality. Alot of famous people come here cause Hong Kong is really great. Of all, she was one of my favourites. I love it when famous people come here. Its an honour." He showed me some others. One actress who's name I forget, the guy said that she was very cold. The only time she smiled at all was during the process of taking the picture. Great acting. She looked happy. lol
There was a picture of Tom Cruise wearing what I think was a Top Gun hat. Very goofy. The hat was bigger than his head it seemed like. Apparently he had an entourage with him who refused to allow his picture taken. However, after a bit, Tom said, sure, what would it hurt. Apparently he is good with fans. To bad he isn't really all that good with acting.
Then the guy said Angelina Jolie was in there but refused to have her foto taken. Oh well.
After I said goodbye, I headed out to grab some food. Found a little Vietnamese place. Had some yummy food. Then walked back to the Apple Store. Before I got there, I saw a little shop that was selling cheesy looking Santa Costumes for $100HK. I was in charge of finding Clyde a Santa costume, so I tried it out, seems good enuff and its cheap for Hong Kong. So, i talked her down to $80HK. It prolly was much less to make. Oh well. I got to the Apple Store, grabbed my software and headed out. I hopped the subway to Causeway Bay area for the Times Square mall. The 9 story mall. Its huge. I was looking for some present, but didnt really find anything that I could really purchase.
I walked around and looked at some ugly clothes. I then spent about 5 minutes watching the trailer for the new Stephen Chow movie, "Kung Fu Hustle" it looks awesome. His last movie was awesome too...Shaolin Soccer. From there I passed by a TV store. THey had this gigantic widescreen TV playing Spiderman2, so I got sucked into watching that.
After that was over, I headed out to the subway and to the VISA office. Maybe my VISA is finished. I got there at 6pm and it was done.
Crap. I should have prolly come at 5pm to see if it was finished. Then I could have caught the 6pm ferry. Now I have to wait to 8pm. Oh well. So, I chilled out by the fountain and took some pictures of the christmas lights that were out.
I then walked to the ferry port. Got my ticket and headed back.
And this darn van driver back to Xiaolan won't stop honking...

Posted by Phil at 11:01 PM | Permalink

Chinese logic does not exist.
So today was interesting. I was all prepared to go to Hong Kong. I was waiting at the Flower Hotel at 800AM waiting for Maria's phone call to tell me that I had to go to Hong Kong because the Zhongshan PR Office said "No Extension". However, at about 8:05AM, I get a call from Maria telling me that the office can do the extension. Phew. That's a load off. However, still in the back of my mind, I am still saying, I am still gonna have to go to Hong Kong. So, about 5 minutes later Lynn calls me telling to meet her at the police station in 1 hour to finish getting the materials taken care of. So, an hour later I show up and collect my materials then head down to ShiQi.
I get to the BOND office and I see Richard. Chat with him a minute. Then Maria comes down and is introduced to me. I go with her to fill out some forms. While she is putting them together, I am chatting with a married couple that are telling me about the trouble they had with getting and extension. Apparently when they tried to get the extension, thats when BOND found out about the new VISA regulations. That's right, no government institution told them about it. They told me good luck. Their extensions failed and they had to go to HK that day.
I finish filling out my forms. Joe, one of the drivers, take us over to the office. When we get there, Maria told me to stay out of site.
....what?
Yes, please stay out of site. Because if you are there, they may ask you some question. I will deal with this.
Ok...WARNING SIGNS! That's not how things should be done. So I stay in the waiting room and wait. About 15 minutes later she comes back and says, "you still need to go to Hong Kong." She then proceeded to explain to me what went on...
I told him that your VISA is about to run out and that you need an extension on Business, but they said no. They know about BOND and how BOND brings in foreigners and how they are working on VISAs that they shouldn't be working on. They wouldn't even extend it even if during that time period we apply for a Z-Visa. He said the only thing to do is to get an "L" Visa. [however you can't work legally in China on an "L" VISA. And a new regulation says that you can't have an "L" VISA turned into a "Z" VISA anymore. This is the bullshit I have to deal with from these assholes.]
So on the way back to the BOND office I explained to her very graphically why I would not stay with BOND for 1 year. After my long explanation...she said, "Oh."
You work for the Dark Side, Maria. Face it.
We got back and I told that Richard about it. He got pissed. "WHAT!? They said they could over the phone! That was the whole point of this fone calling or going to HK business. Damnit. Maria is there anyway we can get the actual rules and regulations so we know?"
no answer. still none.
Richard had all my classes canceled for Tuesday so I could go get my VISA in HK. I figure that since it will only take a day to do it, I will make a day of it and go tomorrow in the morning and come back in the evening. That way I don't waste money spending the nite.
That whole process went from 8AM - 2pm. Constant jerking around. Pricks. After that debacle, I headed to the walking street where I visited and walked around the park and checked out that music store with the cock-rock metal guitars. Still there. Same price. I wonder why no one is buying anything from this place?
I then hopped another bus to Xiaolan. I had about 40RMB in bus and taxi receipts that needed to be reimbursed, but Lynn said Jane couldn't allow it. "But Richard said..." I HATE YOU CHINESE!!! I stormed out of there. As I was about to flag a taxi, Lynn cased me down and apologized to me about a couple things. I told her I was fed up with BOND and its incompetence. You guys suck. Terrible. Don't bother me. You have already pissed me off enuff with this VISA issue.
I came back here and vegged out. I then showed some people who came over my DVD. They loved it.
I am going to bed.

Posted by Phil at 10:59 PM | Permalink

So today I got up for class in Guzhen. I got there and Mountain was there to take us instead of Lynn. He said Lynn was taking care of my stuff. So, does that mean it wont be completed? The classes were really good, the kids were responding well. There was this new chinese girl who is gonna prolly be an English teacher. She is quite good. I told her the foreigners don't like BOND, but since she is chinese, she may be able to deal with it. She watched my class. I had fun there today.
I then headed back and I went to English Corner to meet up with Lynn to take care of some more information. I met her at the entrance of People's Park. I then walked with her to the corner. She was asking me questions and telling me that she can't get the Police to stamp the stuff because that part of the Police office is closed on weekends.
So, Lynn said she will go in Monday at 8am. Get that info. If Maria calls and says, "You have to go to Hong Kong" then you go to HK. If not and Maria says, "You can get the extension" then you wait for me to get you the materials then you go down to ShiQi to fill out the applications and turn them into the Zhongshan Office. Sounds ok.
I will prepare for the worst of situations though. That is, I need to go to HK, but when I get there, I won't be able to get a Tourist VISA. I will be stuck in HK. That would totally suck. I tried to explain that to Lynn, she had no clue what I was talking about.
I got to the corner and Peter was there passing Invites to all the people for our Christmas Party. On the Invite it said, "I regret to inform you that Tony will not be allowed to attend the festivities. He offended many people and will not be allowed in." -Peter
I laughed pretty hard. I mean, sure, its not Christian Charity to do that, but is it very Christian to invite him and let him offend and harrass the female guests? I mean, we can't stop him from being himself.
Lynn asked me some more questions while I was off alone chatting with the little girl from the Halloween party and her father. And I said again, in my dry tone, "You know, all this could have been avoided had those sheets been passed out." I didnt see her face when I said it, but I knew she stopped what she was doing for just a moment and looked at me with that, "You are an asshole" look. Hey, its not my fault you are incompetent.
After English corner I relaxed a bit. No more DVD work to do...well, not really. I had to teach again at 3pm for the kindergarten class with Daisy.
I got there and gave Daisy and her mother an invite to the Christmas party. Daisy seemed really excited. So, in the class today was Daisy, 4 years of age, and two other boys with chinese names that I can't remember. Both of them were about 7-8 years old. The boys english was good for their age, but Daisy's was just as good, if not better. That girl continues to impress me. I was teaching them some things like, Airplane, Scooter, and Motorcycle. Daisy was getting them all the time, the two boys were having trouble. But they were doing good.
I was practicing right and left with them, making them march around, which they loved. I got them to throw and catch stuff. I did Simon says and some other things. They were learning alot and having fun. I didn't want to stop. But time was up and they needed a break. It was a great class. I was happy.
I came home and prepared stuff for the long day ahead of me on Monday. Its gonna be a pain I know it and I know that I am gonna have to end up going to HK.

Posted by Phil at 09:43 AM | Permalink

I woke up this morning and finished putting together my Christmas DVD. I have burnt a bunch of copies and shipped it to my folks. During this time, Richard called me up to explain what's going on.
"Phil? Hey there, mate. Ok. VISAs....What a nightmare. [exasperated]I have been doing nothing but calling all morning and I finally got the info. U.S. Citizens are totally screwed by the new regulations. First off, U.S. Passport holders can no longer get an "F" Business VISA unless they have a letter of introduction by their U.S. company." [this means that I can no longer get a business VISA - one that would allow me to work in China.] "You can still get an "L" Tourist VISA though, however, will cause some problems since it is illegal to work on an "L" VISA." [i worked for 2 months on an 'L' VISA when I first got here because BOND are lying chinese snakes.] The only other way is to convert that to a "Z" Work VISA, however, with the new Regulations,you can't do that. But here is what we are going to try and do, the Zhongshan PR Office may be able to extend your "F" VISA for a period of time while we put in the change for the "Z" VISA, since they are still allowing for that to happen. So, this is what we will do. You will give all your information (certificates and diploma and photocopies of passport/visa) to Lynn who will have you fill out some residence slips and get some stamps from the Police station. Maria, who is new and here at teh office, will call the Zhongshan Office Monday morning at 8am to see if its possible for us to extend your "F" VISA. If on Monday, they say they can't extend it, you will need to hop over to HK and get an "L" VISA. Sound good?"
-I guess. Good thing you called, I was just trying to find a place to stay for the night.
"Ok, I will call you if anything changes."

The VISA issue is really making me hate China. Its a money pit. If I have to keep getting this stuff done, how the heck am I gonna save up for Japan and to get home. Ugh. Theoretically, the U.S. and China have reciprical VISA relations. If the chinese are doing all this junk it must mean the U.S. is screwing with chinese people. Obviously, the increased Nazi security in the U.S. is not really securing anything but pissing off Chinese and American VISA holders. Who really suffers from these two warring governments? The VISA holders. I want to spit in both of the leaders faces.

The rest of the day, I just ran some errands and took care of some stuff. John came over and we chilled and watched Team America cause he hasn't seen it yet. I swear, I still laugh hard at that movie. Peter showed up and the three of us decided to put up the fake Christmas tree. Its only 5 feet tall, but still, its funny. We drapped it with lots of fast blinking lights and these really ugly moon, tree, and star shapes that blink really fast. Totally gawdy. We also added three strands of shinny metallic looking boas. Silver, Green, and Red. Then we added some blue bells that are just plain ugly. We still need to put up the ornaments that we got, we need hooks to do that first. ITs also missing some other stuff. Fake snow. We don't have an angle or star for the top, so we grabbed a chinese fan and placed it on top. It looks terrible, it rules! Ha ha.
After we finished that, John, Peter, Echo (Peter's woman-friend) and I hopped a taxi cab and we went to the weird club in Guzhen that has dancers (not exotic, but just girls dancing....really badly) and body builders. This scrawny chinese guy, who is ripped, comes out and shows off on stage to really bad music. Its very funny.

Posted by Phil at 01:28 PM | Permalink

There are two parts to this one. First, the funny one and then I will mention the irritating one. After my long Friday schedual which was 6 classes, i chilled a few moments before I ran off to Chinese lessons.
John Irish called me while I was at home and said he and Toby would show up for lessons. They never did. So, I got to have a private lesson. I was having fun. This whole day was great. It was terrific. I couldn't believe it was this good...
Before we began the lesson, we were just chatting and somehow got on the topic of irritation. I asked, "Do I irritated you Lynn? With all my questions I mean? i just want to understand the language." And she shyed away from responding to that. LOL! But then she asked, "Do I irritate you?" My response, "You haven't in awhile. Things have been good for the past couple months."
She said, "Aiya! Why do you have to be so honest?" And then she gave me the evil, but friendly eyes. I responded to that with, "Hey, I don't lie. Since I was raised properly, I don't lie alot and I don't participate in domestic violence. Maybe the chinese should learn a lesson from me." This got another stern look from her. Speaking of domestic violence, I need to mention that later.
Lynn had me work on a song called, "The Shining Moon Represents My Heart". Some crappy slow Chinese Pop music. It was ok to practice on though. It was slow and easy to understand. I was trying to get the translation, and it was tough, because Lynn kept changing what the words meant. STICK TO IT!
So, I got along well. Lynn said I was hitting the stuff properly. The one major question I had was this, "If Mandarin uses tones, how do you sing in Mandarin? If you are on a note and you use the tones, you change notes. What's up with that?" I guess its all context in this case. She couldn't really answer the question, but thats the most obvious answer. And since all chinese music revolves around sappy love songs, you can pretty much guess.
This is a love song so I asked Lynn, "So...is there a reason why you chose to practice this song....with me? Are you trying to tell me something?"
So about the time class is over at 9pm, John shows up. I was like, so...was the pizza that good that you couldn't come to class. We learned a song.
He was like damn. Yeah. I wish I came. I got into another arguement with Toby. That guy just totally gets on the wrong side of conversations. I have no clue how he does it. Yeah, Toby, Tiannamen Square 15 years ago was justified. Whatever.
Anywho, John proceeded to tell me a story about some of his students....
In between classes, John went to the restroom and he was washing his hands as some of his students walked in. The students saw him, got all inquisitive and began to ask, "Let me see it! Let me see it! Let me see it!" Yes. They were asking to see his junk. After the initial shock and fluster of the question John rebounded with, "Nah, I don't think so. It would scar you for life." He then left while the kids kept begging him to show it to them. Thats freaky.
After I laughed a good long while I told John that I was gonna head to HK to do my VISA monday morning and come back monday nite. He said, "you sure you can do that? Things have changed apparently. And apparently the change is really bad for Americans."
What changes? How do you know about these changes and I don't?
Then Lynn went to the desk, yeah, here's the sheet. The sheet that was on top of about 30 other sheets that were supposed to be handed out to the teachers. WHOLLY CRAP, LYNN!!! WTF! THIS IS DATED 1 MONTH AGO!!! WHY DID YOU JUST GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!!!!! The new regulations are practically racist to Americans. Here's the new regulations:

IT WOULD HAVE HELPED ME IF I HAD RECEIVED THIS LAST MONTH, LYNN! Damn you and your chinese incompetence! I am calling Richard. "Hello, Richard, yes, goodaye-mate to you too. I was just calling to let you know that I need to get my VISA taken care of this weekend and I just received the info on the new regulations that you wrote a month ago from Lynn..."
-"You JUST received it now? How is that possible, I sent it up there a month.......fuckin' 'ell. ugh.
This is exactly the type of thing I was trying to avoid by sending that up there. hmmm...well...I will
give you a call tomorrow. Let me talk to Lynn."
I gave the phone to Lynn and I think Richard said something to her.
During my VISA discussions with Lynn and John, Toby showed up and piped in his assinign opinion of President Bush so I told him to shut his english pie hole because I didnt want to hear his drug-inhibited babble. By the time Lynn got done talking to Richard, John and Toby had headed out to grab some more of the gang to go meet up with Antwoine, the french dude. I hung around to talk with Lynn when she got off the phone. On the way to the gate after we locked up the office I said, "Hey Lynn..." in my dry tone, "Do you remember what we were talking about at the beginning of class?...."
She look at me, lowered her head just a bit and said "Yes". She then asked if I would go to HK on Monday. I said i would wait to hear what Richard had to say tomorrow. I then added once more before I left to meet the gang, "I prolly could have taken care of this stuff weeks ago if someone had passed out those sheets like they were supposed to." And that was the last thing that was said between us that nite. Did I get a sorry from her? No. I didn't. I swear, that girl. Man. I can't figure her out.
We get along great for awhile, and then she goes and pisses me off royally. Then she is nice and things get better since I have Christian Forgiveness and then she goes off and does it again. AAAARGGGHHH!!!! CUT IT OUT!
The chinese way sucks.
I then headed to meet up with Antwoine. that was interesting.

Posted by Phil at 01:06 PM | Permalink

Today was an ok day. I found out that I am able to finish my DVD project. I am working on completeing that. Compressing the movie file from 25gigabytes down to about 2.5gigabytes. Its gonna take all nite.
Lion Dancing, apparently the teacher is busy for the week, so he hasn't been around. Not many students were there. I worked on some formwork and practiced some of the lion dance I was taught on Tuesday. This really works your lower back, I need to start stregthening it up. It reminds me of how Capoiera works your lower back as well.

Posted by Phil at 01:32 PM | Permalink

balloon today. I was teaching a life or death lesson..."Past tense" and its use in context of a Parade..."What did you do in the parade?" But there was this one girl among many students not paying attention. She was playing with a balloon. I grabbed it while she was bouncing it on her hand. I squeezed and it blew up right there. I JUST CRUSHED YOUR JOY, LITTLE GIRL!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!! BECOME A MINDLESS ZOMBiE LIKE THE REST OF YOUR CLONES! I see it like this: its up to me to destroy the hopes, joys, and optimistic outlook of all chinese children to stop them from taking over the world with their lack of dental hygene and dirty clothes. I mean, these kids don't even laugh when someone farts or burps. SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY WRONG WITH THAT!!!
Back to the story. It was a green balloon and it was one of those small balloons that are used for waterballoon fights...however, chinese kids are too much of wimps to actually fill it up with water and start a waterballoon fight in the class. No focus or determination I tell ya. Whoever said that the chinese were hard-workers didn't specify what they were hard-working at. Obviously they don't work hard at the right things. And its more than just water balloon fights. I will expound on that.

Posted by Phil at 03:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I got to learn some lionhead dancing! It was kool. Hard, but cool.

Posted by Phil at 01:36 PM | Permalink

Well, today I purchased my new ERHU. Its basically the chinese violin. Its got two strings on it. ER(2) HU(Strings - i was told). Apparently its hard to play. And it is. Its not hard to get a sound on it, but its hard to get a nice clean sound. There is a certain amount of pressure you need to place on the strings with the horse haired bow to get the right sound. Any more or any less, it sounds like you are grinding metal on metal. I was jamming around with it after I bought it at my place for a bit. I am getting some good sounds out of it, but the higher register on both strings starts to sound really bad. I figured out how to play "Mary had a Little Lamb". Its like a violin in that there are no frets, so you have to learn where the notes are and its sounds a bit like a violin.
I was foolin around with it and i was throwing in some thrash metal fingerings on the strings...lots of fast hammer-ons and pull-offs...it was rocking. I was shredding that thing up.
I need to get some lessons.
I went to the music store over by People's Park with Lynn. We looked at many different Erhu models, however, I ended up buying the cheapest one. Not because it was the cheapest, but because it was the only one i could get a decent sound on. I got a case with it, some extra strings, an erhu DVD, and some rosin (the stuff you wax the bow with so the horse hair grabs the strings). I received the white persons discount so it came to a total of 263RMB, which is ~ $30US. Awesome.
After I bought it, I headed home and fooled around with it. I then headed to Lion Dance practice. I have been resting my back the past week and a half and getting back there was good. However, the teachers never showed up, so I just practiced on my own.
My question is, why do I have to learn Hong Quan before learning the lion dance when its obvious the chinese guys doing lion dance don't have a friggin clue on the proper stances and techniques in Hong Quan.
During their breaks they stare at me practicing and then try to imitate it, in the process they mock me. If they actually did it with any skill, then I might find it helpful and usefull, but what they are doing is just downright insulting.
Don't get me wrong, I want to learn the full Hong Quan, amongst other things the teacher can show me as well as lion/dragon dancing. Its just these punks show me no respect and make fun of me behind my back.
Since the teacher never showed, everyone left early. I was really the only one doing any work. Everyone else was just standing around smoking and being chinese.
Oh yeah, thats another thing. All these guys are working hard doing lion and dragon dancing, running around, doing great physical feats, then they go out for a smoke. RETARDS!
Earlier in the day before I picked up the Erhu, I was still busy trying to fix my computer issues. I am on this discussion website and one of the moderators offered some suggestions to try. Unfortunately it didnt work. I am gonna have to re-install some stuff. Something I don't want to do. Pain in the butt. I will be in HK this upcoming weekend so I will pick up DVD Sudio Pro 3.
I chatted alot with people also trying to figure out how to spend 2-3 months in Japan without a real job. I figure once my teaching stuff here in China is over in August, I would hop over to Japan and stay there practicing Shorinji Kempo. There is an International Taikai in October that I have been planning on going to since I started 4 years ago. Since I am on this side of the world, i must stick around and just go to the taikai. Then after that I would prolly run down to the SK Hombu practice sessions they got. That would rule, then visit some friends that are living in Japan.
But I need to figure out where I could stay while I was in Japan before the Taikai. I want to go to Yokohama to study with a certain sensei. I may try to get my connections to set up a group and we could have an English Language for Shorinji Kempo/a little cash/place to stay trade off.
Time for bed.

Posted by Phil at 09:24 AM | Permalink

I did a Archive and Clean install and that didnt work. I have been discussing online with some people about what to do. Still got lots to figure out and do.
Ugh.

Posted by Phil at 09:24 AM | Permalink

This morning I woke up early because of the honking outside. So I finished the last chunk of film for my Christmas present. I had been doing the video in chunks due to lack of Harddrive space and then deleting the imported files to free space up again. I finished the last video chunk and exported it. YES!
There were alot of files to dispose of. So, I put about 17GB worth of video and render files into the trash to delete. Shouldn't be a problem figuring I have done this many times before. I selected empty trash. The screen darkened and a warning in 5 different languages popped up on the screen. YOU MUST RESTART OR SHUT DOWN YOUR COMPUTER NOW!
"HOLY CRAP! What the hell is this?!" This warning scared the living crap out of me. I have never seen anything like this and I don't know what it is. So I restart and go to empty the trash. It happens again. WTF! I restart and remove the files from the trash and just try to trash a small file. It does it again! DAMNIT! SOB! I totally do not need this right now. I shut off my computer and let it sit for 1 minute. I restart and try to empty a small file. It crashes again! UGH! I then shut it off and leave it off for about 25 minutes while I go to lunch.
Meanwhile, while I am eating lunch, Sean shows up at the house because he is going with us to be judges at the English Speech Competition at the Xiaolan Middle School. Peter is laughing at me because of my computer troubles. I give him the finger and put a board right thru his head.
Before we leave, i try my computer again. It crashes! AAAAARGGGG!!!! DAMN YOU, STEVE JOBS!!! YOU BLEW IT UP!!! (ala Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes)
So i shut my computer off. I still don't know what this is. I will find out when I get back.
Sean, Peter, and I head out to the Xiaolan Middle School. This place is huge! I have some pictures I posted. I don't know how high the ceiling is, but I am sure you would go splat if you fell from the top. In addition to its monstrosity, the stage is huge as well. They sure go all out for school plays. I guess you can get a feel for how much money this school has and how many students there are...they have 2 foreign teachers. Every other school has 1. Except Jou Ko..because thats the rich kids school..they have 2 as well. The two british people, Sean and Suzannah...but they only count as 1 because they don't speak English properly.
First thing about competitions here in China is that they are rigged, at least this one was, and that no one really wins. There were 13 participants. 5 students won 3rd Place, 5 students won 2nd Place, and 3 students won 1st Place. Please tell me...what was the point of the competition if everyone won something? Because if you dont tell me...I dont know what I will do... We asked Stephen who was acting as a judge but he was also the one that asked the questions and moderated everything. Stephen, if you remember from my misadventures, is one of the government employees who works at Xiaolan Middle School...mind you, two of the 1st place winners were from Xiaolan Middle School. Stephen is the guy that I met the first big dinner I had here in Xiaolan...it was the same nite I met the gay Jet Li, Jason. Which is funny i mention his name, because last Tuesday, it was Jason who called me and asked me to participate in this event. Jason, the gay Jet Li, works at the Overseas Middle School and he was a judge at this competition...mind you the third 1st place winner is from Overseas Middle School....hmmm....did someone say conflict of interest muffled under a cough? I know I heard it...hell, I said it.
There are still a few foreign teachers that believe he is gay, while a majority of them say, "No no no no..he is married and has kids. He can't be gay." Um...excuse me? Its possible. Didn't you ever see The Kids in The Hall Movie?
Mom: "Hey kids, where's your father?"
Kids: "Oh...he's upstairs..."
Mom: "again? ugh."
Heck, biblical scholars think that Paul/Saul (the Saint that hated and killed Christians until God made him blind and then had a Christian in the next town make him see again - he is also the Saint that wrote all those confusing letters to the Gentiles and Simpsons) ...well, biblical scholars think he was gay.
The Govenor of New Jersey (i think it was NJ) is married and he just announced that he was gay.
Why did he step down from office? Was it because he was gay? Or because he was a bad public servant...hmm.
Anywho, back to Jason. He's a flamer...always likes to touch me when he talks to me. I turn my head and I see Clyde laughing at me. HA HA HA HA!
So, there the judges sat. Stephen was the closet to the edge. Then Peter, then me, then Arnold, then Sean, then Jason. We had to rate on a couple things.
1. Intonation and Pronunciation: 10 points
2. Speech Content: 40 points
3. Fluency: 10 points
4. Content of and Ability at answering questions: 30 points
5. Stage manners: 10 points
So, Peter and I decided to grade harshly. But the problem I was having was that I felt I needed a standard of what the group felt a 100% contestant was so I could have something to relate to...but nope. I had to just rate them. I look back now, I think I prolly went a little easy on the 1st and 2nd then started realizing what I should do.
Here's how it went:
All the students were given a choice of 5 topics to write on:
1. Books
2. Friends
3. Travel
4. Dreams
5. Work and Rest
Each topic had a starter paragraph apparently because everyone's speech started out the same. You could then write your own stuff. And you could mix and match the speech subjects. Like one girl did "Books, My friends". I think the content there is obvious.
Now, I understood almost everything said. There were a couple mistakes. A couple students fubbled lines, but its only normal. I mean, they are standing in front of their entire grade. Unfortunately I had to knock some points when that happened. A couple kids had their cards with them on stage and it was a shame because one of the speeches was good but she kept looking at her cards. It wouldn't have been a problem if she glanced at them quickly, but she kept flipping thru them. Most of the kids had their speeches memorized which posed a couple problems. 1. They were fit into a certain groove and their flow didn't sound proper. It sounded like they were just spouting off prepared lines. They sounded like robots sorta. There was this one girl that kept adding reflections on things that someone might say but actually didnt. And she would react as if someone asked her the questions. It was interesting, but by doing so, it cause her speech to be connected in a way that made it hard to understand. Her body motions as well, like hand movements and stuff look un natural as well.
1 of the 3 girls that received 1st place was really good though. If it was a real competition, she would have gotten 1st place....all alone. Her english was fantastic. Her speech was on dreams. She wants to be an interpretter when she gets older. She sounded very good. I think I gave her a score in the 90s, i dont think anyone else got a score in the 90s, by my hand. Same with Peter. I was very impressed to say the least.
Well, now...on to talking about the questions raised by Stephen. The first problem was the fact that some of his questions, I couldn't even understand what the hell he said, so I didnt dock the students when they answered those questions slightly wrong. When we told Stephen about the it...the first time he said it wrong...he shrugged it off. More evidence that it could have been rigged. Also just to show how the chinese don't like to be embarrassed, if he gave the question again, he would lose face. Stupid culture issues. (and yes, I know Americans do some of that too, however, not to the level or seriousness it is taken here)
The second problem with his questions is that half the ones he asked were answered in the student's speeches. For example, one kid did hers on "Work and Rest". She brought up the saying, "All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy." She explained the meaning. However, Stephen then asked her to explain what the meaning of "All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy." Peter and I turned at each other and gave a WTF look. Was he not listening? (more proof that it was rigged)
I was thinking, man, if I had that question, I would talk about "The Shining". If you get all work and no play, you go crazy. You chop down a bathroom door and stick your head thru the crack and your head turns into Jack Nicholson and you yell, "Here's Johnny!" to your freaked out wife.
But I digress.
Another student did hers on "Friends" and she brought up. "A friend in need is a friend indeed." However, Stephen asked her the question, "Please explain the phrase, 'A friend indeed is a friend in need." Um....ex-squeeze me? Baking powder? SHE ANSWERED THAT IN HER SPEECH, albiet she said the phrase properly.
Most of his questions were like that.
One student was talking about friends in her speech. But then Stephen asked the question, "If you cooked dinner for you family, what kind of food would you cook?" She said Chinese food. True, thats a good answer and I shouldn't be writing about that, because, I mean whats so funny about that. The reason I am bringing it up is because of what she continued to say. Ahem...(clearing my throat)...
"Yes..thank you for your well-thought out question [it wasn't well thought out]. I would answer it by saying that I would make them Chinese food. And I will explain why I chose that." [this is where it gets good] "I am Chinese and I love China. China is the greatest country. Its such a wonderful place. Why would I want to leave China? Hollywood is rubbish. I live in China, I will live in China forever. My parents live in China and they will stay here forever. China is great. Because of that, I will cook them Chinese food."
wow...lets see...because you are brainwashed, I am taking off about 20 points. Horrible content. Are you trying to insult the judges? You do see the fact that there are foreigners judging you. We are right in front of you...well, actually more to the side. Don't do that, it doesn't benefit you. Close minded child.
Another student spoke of her dream to become a Fashion Designer. The question she received was the following. "If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?" Her response was correct, but the locations she wants to go to because of her Fashion Designer dream are not the best locals.
"First, I would go to Spain. Because I have read about it and its beautiful. So I want to go to Spain." ok...I can understand Spain, it just wasn't what I was expecting for her first desire to go for Fashion Design. "Second, I would go to the United States. They have a lot going on." Ok, I can understand this for the reason that America, like it or not, does alot in culture exporting. Rock N Roll, anyone? However, for fashion design, America is always the last to get the world fashion trends. We were the last country to get the Cellfone trend and the last to know that Iraq has no nuclear weapons (face it, alot of us wanted to believe - we were lied to and thought our adminstration had the interests of the American Public as highest priority) - i dont use "weapon of mass destruction" because Saddam WAS one of those. Too bad our Republican leaders helped keep him in power back in the 80s.
"Third country I would visit would be Japan because its so close to China and they have lots to do there." Ok, I understand Japan and can accept it because they do start all the electronic trends in the world and asian fashion seems to be dictated by the stupid looking outfits those people wear. I mean, come on! buffalo shoes? Disgusting! Yes, I want to look like Frankenstein's Monster. How bout I wear some bolts in my neck as well!
I was very surprised that she didn't say France or Italy. Those are two places that need to be visited if you want to do fashion. France, despite its froggy-ness, is a melting pot of fashion trends, bad hygene, and smelly natives...hmmm, just like China. Italy, Smelly people, same type of toilets, and fashion trends. Just like China. I think that she would find more of what she needs there.
And on to the best answer to any of the questions...
"Why are you here? Why are you here on stage, what has inspired you to do this?"
The girl thought for a few seconds then said, "I have to say I am here...because of Britney..."
This is where my jaw dropped and stayed hanging there for what seemed like an eternity. Crickets chirped in the silence of the moment. Cars got into accidents on the street when they heard the stupidity of it all. A guys head exploded, much like the guy in Scanners, or if you have never seen that, like the KKK member's head when he learned that Dave Chappel (a black man) wrote 5 white-power books. If I smoked and was smoking at the time that she said this, the cigarrette would be loosly clinging to my bottom lip almost about to fall off. Kind of like that scene in Ghostbusters when Dan Akroyd's character first sees Slimer. That is the same expression I had on my face when this girl said that.
"...because of Britney. Yes, that's why I am here. She is so beautiful with big round eyes and she is just so talented. Her music inspires me. [please stop] She has accomplished lots and I think she is a great example of what you can do if you put your mind to it." STOP!!! WAIT!!! GO NO FURTHER WITH THIS FORMULAIC B.S.!
First off: She didn't really have to work hard to get where she was. Her success is due to the fact that producers engineered her into a money making machine and advertised her to young kids to help fill their minds with opium sounds to perpetuate many years of crappy boy and girl band stardom. I think it has had an effect on their brain functions as well as hers. I mean, this girl came out during the invasion of Iraq and said, "I think we must stand behind our president and not question him."
!!!!!
Speaking of brainwashing, this girl gave a speech and she was obviously brainwashed by American media. [I am sorry, chinese girl, I never wanted that to happen].
As for inspiring music, I guess Britney's song "SLAVE" fits the description of some of the chinese people.
Because of that horrible answer, I mark off many points. Too bad.
The girl who, I thought should have had 1st place was this girl that wants to be an Interpreter when she gets older. This girls English was fantastic. I was very impressed. she barely had an accent. I was very surprised. i gave her something in the 90s.
So, after the competition was over, the contests were called out to receive their prizes. These 5 middle school girls were the presenters, but they were wearing the most bizarre dresses. They were pink vinyl dresses with a Vampire/80s collar. With forearm covers. It was just too bizarre not to take pictures. So i got some. This is totally the wrong venue for those outfits. I could see those at Luna or City Club by someone who could fill them out. And not in the way that the girls at City Club would wear corsets...you know...women who should never wear corsets. Everytime I think of City Club, I think of that story with Matt Rose giving both barrels to the girl telling him to shut up because he was yelling at the naked girl. Ha ha. That story always brings a smile to my face. "Don't impede on my friend's right to free speech, suckaz!!"
So, after the show was over. And it really was a show. Jason tried to flirt with me but I resisted his advances. Then Mark Lee was taking his students out for a special lunch at KFC. Sean and I joined him. We also scanned the computer shops looking for some junk. Couldn't find anything in this junk heap. I then headed back home to see if I could fix my computer issues.
I got back and started my computer back up. I then went online trying to figure out what went wrong. I found out that it was a Kernel Panic. Its something UNIX does when it thinks the computer is doing something that it shouldn't be doing. Apparently trying to trash all those files caused it to panic. However, why it continued to do so continuously, I don't know. From what I read, if it happens once, its ok. But if it happens alot, then something is wrong with your system. So i searched on how to fix it. There seems to be no option but to restart. So, I tested the trash and it worked fine. I proceeded to trash the files. I then found out that a new Security Update has been introduced. So...I decided to update.
That's when all the problems started. I started up again to continue working on my DVD. My DVDSP2 and Compressor won't work now. I am irritated. This always happens when I need to get something done. I need to slap someone. So, I went to a couple message boards to see what was going on. I got some help, but none that was working. Oh well, I will have to work on it tomorrow.
goodnite.

Posted by Phil at 05:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I asked a kindergarten his name... "My name is Dick."

Posted by Phil at 05:15 PM | Permalink